InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Say the Magical Words ❯ It's About to be a--What?! Dog Fight! ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Inuyasha stormed down the stairs, about to head for the quiet comfort of the den, when a loud knocking at the front entrance stopped him. He was about to answer it, when the door burst open on its own. Who the hell left the thing unlocked? he wondered. Damn it, dad! You were the last person to use the front door, but when it's left unlocked you always want to yell at us, like it's our fault! Sometimes I really wish I could just deck him one good time in the mouth without consequences! But letting his musings go for the moment, he stared up at the sudden intruder.

There stood a demoness with silver hair, though it looked like she had recently been in a fight judging by the way it was completly messed up and all of the bruises on her face. But two things clearly stood out to Inuyasha. One was the blue cresent moon hid on her forehead behind her dirty bangs. The other thing was the two red stripes on her cheeks. Evidently Sesshomaru's mother. Without even welcoming her in, Inuyasha screamed up the staircase, "Sesshomaru! Your rude ass momma's here!" then turned and headed toward his previous destination of the den.

Sesshomaru and Inutaisho came rushing down the stairs upon Inuyasha's horrible summon. Sesshomaru halted as he took in his mothers form, before rushing to her. "Mommy!" he tried to greet her, but he felt a pull on his collar which held him back. Figuring it was his father, he said, "Dad, I have not seen her since...well, quite frankly, since she's not exactly mentioned in the show or movies, I don't know when was the last time I've seen her. But I know it must have been a while since I can't remember her."

But instead of seeing his father, Sesshomaru turned to see Izayoi being the one holding him back. "Wench, let go of me," he snarled. Her normaly smiling face was now covered in rage, but evidently not at him. Her gaze was looking over his shoulder to his mother. "Slut," Izayoi sneered.

Sesshomaru's mother half-heartedly smoothed her hair against her head, and, drawing herself up to look more presentable, said "Whore." Izayoi blanched for a moment then said, "Wainch." Both Sesshomaru's and Inutaisho's heads were snapping back and forth trying to keep up with their retorts. Finally, though, Seshomaru's mother stepped up to Izayoi and slapped her, giving her a look that could kill along with it.

Izayoi threw her arms up in a boxer stance and said "You got beef, I got pork and chicken, take your pick!" "Um, honey..." Inutaisho tried to reason with her, but was silenced. "Shut the hell up! This is between me and this bitch!" Inutaisho looked to the other woman. "Naomi, when did you get back in town?" "Since you've decided to start trying to get extra for child support," the demoness said. Izayoi gave a bark of laughter for some reason at her comment. "Sesshomaru isn't his child, anyways. He belongs to that piece of shit new husband of yours."

Sesshomaru screamed. "Please, Kami, God, whoever! Please don't let Naraku be my daddy!" So said suddenly walked through the door. Looking down at him, Naraku said in a voice that sounded like he was breathing through a mask, "Sesshomaru...I am your father." "Yeah, on the day that hell freezes over!" Sesshomaru said. "It has," Naraku supplied. "It froze over a few minutes ago. Didn't you hear the report about it on the wheather channel? Happened because of a green house effect or something." He smiled at Sesshomaru. "So, I guess that means you are my son. Besides, we already had it confirmed on Jerry Springer. Inutaisho remembers that episode."

Inutaisho looked blankly at Naraku for a moment, then said, "Who we talking 'bout?" Naraku frowned at him, then strutted past the dog lord and into the living room. Putting a video cassette into the VCR, he hit play and suddenly they were watching the Jerry Springer Show.

"Okay, today we have Naomi here on the show. Please welcome her." After a scattered applause had died down, he continued. "Naomi, there's something you want to know. What is it?" "Well, Jerry, I'm here to see who's my baby daddy." The crowd errupted with "Ooo's and "aah's". "Um, okay," Jerry said. "Well, we have your current husband and ex husband behind stage, guys come on out!"

From opposite ends, Naraku and Inutaisho ran out of the back and immediatly headed for eachother. "Why you sleeping with Naomi?!" Inutaisho yelled at him, but instead of answering, Naraku punched him. They rolled on the ground for a moment until Steve and a few other security members got them under control. With a huff, they both rightened their microphones and sat down in chairs on opposite sides of Naomi.

"Alright, Naomi. We have the test results right here in my hand. This will determine who is your "baby's daddy." Opening an envelope in his hand, Jerry pulled out a slip of paper and unfolded it. "It says here that... Naraku is the father." The crowd exploded again, and Inutaisho and Naraku went at it again. The spider demon cut off the VCR right before himself on the screen was about to hit the dog lord with another punch.

"So, as you can see. Sesshomaru's my son. I'm here to take him home with me." "To hell you are," Inutaisho growled. "If we're gonna fight, let's do the damn thang!" He started taking a chain off his neck. Then another chain came off, then another, and another! Damn! Naraku started adjusting the many large gold rings on his fingers, switching some so when he punched with that hand, the rings would highten the pain. He reached up and took off two large diamond earings, as the dog lord took off two playboy bunny ear rings. Looking almost ready, Inutaisho suddenly said, "Hold up a sec." Turning to Sesshomaru, he said. "Hold these for me," then took out two platnium grillz that said "west side".

"A'right, now I'm ready." Naraku attacked first, swinging for Inutaisho's head, but missed and instead hit his hand on the wall behind him. Inutaisho kneed him in the stomach and when Naraku bent over to grab it, he started working on his head and face. Naraku crumbled into a ball on the ground. The fight was over before it began.

"Baby!" Naomi screeched, rushing to his side. "You bastard! How dare you hurt my precious Naraku!" Izayoi snorted. "Precious my ass!" "That's it, bitch!" Naomi screamed. "I've had it with you! You talk entirely too much shit! Let's see if you can walk the walk as much as you talk the talk!" Getting off the floor, she squared up with Izayoi, who was calmly taking off her outter kimono to allow more freedom.

Without warning, the women went at eachother. Naomi was using her poison claws, but Izayoi was some how dodging them. How in the hell? the demon woman thought. She's human! That's impossible! But then Izayoi stopped, both of them on opposite sides of the room. A bright light started forming around her, and then a bright flash. Her eyes started growing larger and turned yellow. Her hair grew into fur and in less than a minute, Izayoi had turned into a demon dog's true form. "I'm so proud of her!" Inutaisho said, wiping a tear from his eye. "I'm the one who sacrificed some of my power to teach her that!"

The now demon dog Izayoi walked calmly up to Naomi, the other backing up against a wall until she remembered something. "Wait, I'm a dog demon too!" In a mere few seconds, there were two dog demonesses in the palace! "You may look like a demon, but you'll never be one, bitch!"(and I don't think they can talk in this form but for the story, lets pretend they can,ok?) she sneered at Izayoi. "That dosen't hurt me since that's what a female dog is, bitch!" "Ho!" "Slut!" "Wench!" "Wainch!" The women threw taunt after taunt at eachother, but seemed to get nowhere. Finally, Naomi said, "At least I don't have a mutt for a son!"

The room fell silent. Then Izayoi said, "At least I don't fuck spiders!" "Ha, still I can kick your ass!" they heard Naraku mutter from the ground. Tired of all the fighting, Sesshomaru stepped in. "Why are you two beefing with each other?" The women looked down at him with loving eyes, then Izayoi said, "That bitch stole my boyfriend back when we were in high school. And after he said that he'd go to the prom with me!" Sesshomaru blinked. "You mean this has nothing to do with me?" "You?" Naomi said. "Hell no! It dosen't even have to do with Naraku or Inutaisho. That's a whole 'nother mess on its own."

"I still want custody of Sesshomaru," Naraku said, the bruises on his face fading. Quickly grabbing the the demon boy, he ran out of the palace, only to stop and grab his sides right outside the door. "Hold up..." he panted. "Need substanance...must go back and...replenish...energy...." Turning around, he went back into the palace and entered the kitchen. Grabbing just about everything in sight(cookies, chips, soda/Ace/Ted, dried oatmeal, etc.) he put it all in a large bowl and began grubbing. Everyone entered the room to watch him, Izayoi and Naomi turning back into their normal forms.

"Are you pregnant?" Inutaisho asked him. Naraku gasped. "How'd you know! My doctor confirmed it yesterday!" Everyone's eyes grew huge. "Um, what are you going to have?" Inutaisho asked. "Oh, well, I'm not sure. See, I just randomly shoot out an incarnation whenever I feel like this. Mostly I've been having girls, you know about Kagura and Kanna, don't you? But I also have had a few boys, such as Hakudoshi, and another that I can't quite remember at this time. He was an ugly one though, and I'm happy that Inuyasha did away with him." He looked around him and noticed that no one was in the room anymore.

"Why does this always happen when I tell someone that I'm pregnant? You'd think that they'd at least congradulate me or something! But noo, I don't even get a baby shower! Why doesn't anyone love me?!" he whined. But the sound of an engine roaring to life snapped him out of his misery. Looking out the kitchen window, he saw his red Ferrari being driven down the drive way by Naomi. "That bitch!" He started to go after her, but turned back and grabbed the inedible concoction he had made, before leaving out the palace screaming, "I should've known all you wanted was my money, you gold diggin' bastard!"

Back inside, Inuyasha came out of the den, looking as though he had just woken up. "What was all the commotion about?" Inutaisho, Izayoi, and Sesshomaru looked at eachother for a moment, then split ways, not even bothering to answer him. What you don't know, can't hurt.

A/N: I know that I have little Sesshomaru scenes and even smaller Inuyasha parts in this chapter. In fact, I've noticed that I've kind of strayed from the main part of this story entirely, but I'll try to get back on task here in the next few chapters or so. Sorry about that. Please review!