InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sayonara, Otomodachi-tachi!: Miroku no Saigo ❯ Sayonara, Otomodachi-tachi!: Miroku no Saigo ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. It owns me.
Warnings: Suicide, semi-graphic self injury...Amateur author! Auugh!
Author's notes: I haven't really written too much fanfiction, and only a couple of Inuyasha stories (though it's my favorite so I'm pretty sure I've got them in character) so you'll have to be a bit forgiving of me...I'm still new I guess. Constructive critisism would be nice...I don't have a beta reader so if anyone knows where I can find one that would be nice too ^_^. Also I thought up titles for a few days and this was the best I could come up with... *sweatdrop*... I hope it isn't too dorky. Since I'm not fluent in Japanese I may be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure it means something to the tune of "Good-bye Dear Friends!: Miroku's Last Moment"...*shrug*


It is early in the morning when I rise and silently make my way to the door of the little hut we have taken over for the night. It is well before dawn, and I am lucky that even Inuyasha has nodded off during his meditation, even if it is only for a few minutes I'll still be able to slip out of the hut unnoticed. If my movement awakens him, there are plenty of excuses for me to step out at this time of night anyway. I stop at the door for a moment, and look at the sleeping forms of my travelling companions once more before I slip away. Kagome, wrapped up in her blankets with Shippo clinging to her right arm; Sango and Kilala, cuddled up next to each other; Inuyasha sitting against the wall intending to act as a guard for us while we sleep peacefully...he himself looks so very peaceful and kind when he is asleep. Dear Sango, Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo; how I shall miss you.

I sneak out of the door and begin to walk towards the forest we are just on the edge of. The stars are still dancing brightly and a cool breeze lightly brushes my face and through my hair. It smells of pine and evergreen and wildflowers, and I take a deep breath, as if trying to create a memory that will stay with me through eternity. I hear an owl hooting in the distance and just barely make out the near-silent babble of a stream a little ways away. I feel incredibly peaceful at this very moment; a complete contrast to how I had felt just a few hours ago when I had finally made up my mind to do this. As I walk deeper into the forest I begin to think about the last few months. There is no chance of me seriously getting a woman to have my child before we defeat Naraku, or before my wind tunnel sucks me into it. I feel that I wouldn't have much longer before it would suck me into it, which is why I'm doing this now. If I can't produce a son to continue fighting, and if I can't defeat Naraku, then I certainly won't die by his curse. I'd rather die by my own hands.

"I'm sorry father, and grandfather," I think to myself as I make my way down the dirt path "I have failed. There has been no sign of Naraku for weeks, and my wind tunnel is growing bigger every day. I will not be able to kill him before it sucks me into it. I'm sorry I couldn't produce a son to take over for me, but I couldn't possibly let a child come into this world, knowing he would have to go through all of the things I have had to go through. Please...please forgive me, but I don't want to die from Naraku's curse. I want to die on my own terms." After justifying my decision, my thoughts turn to my friends. My chest tightens and my eyelashes become damp, but I don't let myself cry. There is no reason to cry. It's just a shame that they had to get to know this Miroku and think I am the world's biggest pervert rather than get to know the Miroku I should have been. But I am glad I kept up the façade. I'd want them to remember me as being happy and having a smile on my face, not how I was really feeling inside. At least Kagome and Sango should be glad to be rid of me, for the sake of not having to watch their backs every moment. I let a sigh escape my lips-it really is a shame they have to remember me being so lecherous.

I approach a large tree and decide to stop. This should be far enough in. I sit down and collect my thoughts one more time. I never once feel like I am making a mistake. I silently give my apologies to everyone-for abandoning them during their fight against Naraku, for any pain this may cause, for all the trouble and annoyances I caused them. I take one more deep breath, noticing every scent around me, and look up at the moon once more. How beautiful it is. It truly is such a nice night to die. I feel my chest begin to tighten once more, but before I let it take over, I place my staff over my lap, and bring my left wrist to the sharp edge. With only a moment of hesitation I quickly slash my wrist across it and close my eyes. There is no pain at first. I begin to wonder if it even cut through, but I know that it had because after a few moments I feel a sting and a warmth spread along my arm. I open my eyes and see blood running down to my elbow, more blood than I had ever expected. I watch the little rivulets for several minutes, before I finally begin to feel tired. The world around me begins to dim and blur, and before I lean my head back and give in, I blow a final kiss towards the little hut, and whisper my final words.

"Sayonara, otomodachi-tachi."

I opened my eyes slowly, letting the confusion melt away before focusing in on what had awakened me. Inuyasha is standing at the door of the hut, sniffing the air. He has a worried look on his face I've never seen before.

"Inuyasha...what is it?"

He turns to look at me. "Blood."

"Blood?" Sango and Shippo repeat in unison.

"I smell blood. Close."

"Is it a demon? Is someone being attacked?" I asked still a bit lazily, trying to stand up.

He just looks at me sadly, and just barely shakes his head before running out the door and into the direction of the forest.

"INUYASHA?!" I call after him, before grabbing Shippo and running out the door behind Sango.

"Where's Miroku?" I ask, suddenly noticing his abscence. Sango doesn't answer, but at his name I see her tense, then pick up speed as she runs ahead of me into the trees.

"Do you think something's happened to Miroku?" Shippo asks me, a hint of panic in his voice.

"I don't know Shippo!" My voice betrays my worry, although I try to stay calm for his sake.

I run and run, trying to keep up with Sango and Inuyasha. I see them just up ahead, and I gather all of my energy to try to catch up with them. Suddenly Inuyasha stops dead in his tracks, making Sango skid to a halt behind him, and I bump right into them.

"Inuyash-" my voice gets caught in my throat as I see what made him stop, but I'm too shocked to gasp. I instinctively put my hands over Shippo's eyes, causing a wail of protest.

He slowly walks over to Miroku's body, which is sitting in a pool of its own blood, and reaches out a hand towards his neck. He pulls is back abruptly and turns to us, his eyes glistening with tears.

"He's gone." he whispers, and Sango falls to her knees.

I feel such a sudden rush of emotions, I don't even know where to begin. I want to cry and scream and run away. Most of all, I want to wake up, and have Miroku tell me I am just having a nightmare. Why wasn't I waking up? I feel Shippo squirming in my arms before he wriggles free and runs over to the others.

"Wh.......what happened?" I manage to choke out. "Was he attacked?"

Inuyasha just lowers his head, and slightly shakes it. "No," he whispers, trying to hide the tiny tear drop that's escaped "he did it to himself." At that Sango begins to gently sob and Shippo hides his face in his hands.

"To himself? But...why?"

"I don't know, Kagome." he says, gently. I've never seen him speak so softly. "There were lots of reasons, I suppose."

"Lot's of reasons? Like what?!" I exclaim, finally feeling the first teardrops glide across my cheeks.

"His wind tunnel, Kagome. He didn't have too much time left as it was. Possibly no more than a month...we wouldn't have been able to defeat Naraku within that time."

"How could you say that? You're always so insistant that every day will be the day we defeat Naraku...how could you even..." I trail off because my throat becomes too tight to get the words out. I feel him place a hand on my shoulder. Is he actually trying to comfort me?

"I know, Kagome....I know. But this is reality. There's been no sign of Naraku anywhere for weeks. There would have been little hope for Miroku."

I break away from Inuyasha and drop down to Miroku's side. His head hangs limply and his hair hides his eyes. I didn't want to see them anyway. I throw my arms around his neck and begin to sob. He's still warm. He probably never knew I cared for him as much as I did. I never showed him, or told him that he was a good friend to me. I'm even going to miss him groping my backside. I feel Inuyasha pry me away from the body and I realise I'm covered in blood. He wraps his arms around me and tries to give me comfort as I cry even more into his kimono. I'm vaguely aware of Sango crawling over and hugging Miroku to her chest. Then I hear the dull crack of a slap. I begin to hope that if I turned around I would see Miroku's hand on her butt, with a smile on his face, declaring he was only kidding. But when I do turn, Sango is crying into his robes, and his head is at an odd angle. I can see his eyes now.

"You stupid monk!" Sango screams "How could you?! How could you do this to us?! You coward! You could have at least kept fighting by our side until the very end! How could you just walk away like this?!"

Inuyasha, Shippo, and I all try to calm her down. Shippo isn't much help as he's almost made himself sick from crying. I ask Inuyasha to help him and I try to comfort Sango. I find myself at a loss for words and wish I had taken Shippo and left Inuyasha for Sango.

"Sango...I know I can't be too much comfort now because I'm wondering the exact same things you are. But at the same time, I guess I can kind of see Miroku's side of things too. He was a strong person. I know deep down that he wouldn't just give up without a good reason..." I bite my lip and look at her, feeling like I'm babbling and doubting I'm providing any comfort at all. "He really cared for you Sango. I know he did."

She begins to sob harder at that. But she still manages to look at me and choke out "He cared for you too Kagome. For all of us." She turns back and hugs him to her again. I see a little flash of violet from a slit in his eyelid. I turn back to Inuyasha and grip his arm.

Before long a purplish light peeks over the treetops and Inuyasha picks up Miroku's body to be carried back to the hut. The three of us solemnly walk behind them as if in a funeral procession. When we arrive at the tiny house Inuyasha gingerly sets him down on an ofuton and without a word goes out to dig a hole for burial. Sango, Shippo, and I silently stay with the body to wait until Inuyasha comes back. I shift uncomfortably, and not because of the position I'm sitting in. I feel like I should be trying to comfort my friends, but at the same time I want one of them to try to comfort me. I look over at Sango and see her looking carefully at Miroku's face, tears still clinging to her lips and making her cheeks glisten. I turn towards Shippo and see that he has his head bowed, but after a moment he looks up at me and his lip begins to quiver again. I reach my hand out to cover his, silently praying that Inuyasha comes back in soon.

He returns nearly fifteen minutes later, his face and clothes smudged with dirt and his hands and claws completely caked with it.

"Aah..." he mumbles at the doorway, looking for something to clean his hands with, before picking up Miroku's body. Sango pulls the shawl from her waist and walks over to him. "Here...you can use this."

"Wait!" I quickly interject, not wanting her to ruin her clothes. I rummage through my backpack and find a bottle of water. "You can use this to rinse the dirt off first." I explain as I unscrew the cap and pour the water over his hands. It takes care of most of the mess, and Sango lets him use the shawl to dry off. Once his hands are clean he kneels down and cradles Miroku's body gently to his and begins the walk to the gravesite. Sango, Shippo, and I follow silently as we did before.

Shortly we reach the tree Inuyasha has picked to bury Miroku under, we say a few awkward good-byes, and Sango and I place a farewell kiss on his cheek. He's gone cold by now.

"See ya later you old lech." Inuyasha whispers. I almost scold him, but when I see the look on his face, I realise it was his way of affection. He then carefully places the body in the shallow hole and begins to cover it with dirt. We look upon Miroku's face one last time and then the hole is covered. We stand in silence for several moments before Inuyasha turns to go back to the hut.

"Are you coming?" I ask Sango, before following Inuyasha.

"In a minute." she responds, still staring at the ground. I give her a weak smile, and turn to go back to the hut.