InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Second Best ❯ Second Best ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Second Best

I was always second best, never anything more, never first, always second. And I being the naïve girl I was back then I thought I could just be okay with being by his side… but I wanted more, I was selfish, I wanted his love, I wanted him. But I couldn't have it, I could only have his friendship, and I was okay with it, but then it started to get to me, it started to hurt me. I would never be his ONE true love. I'll always be his back up, his plan b. Back then I was just a little girl, with false dreams and lost hopes I believed that maybe I would finally be the one he sees, the only one he sees, but that was all impossible. So I don't dream of that anymore, I dream of him, just him…and me, together alone, him embracing me…but that is still an impossible thought.

It's been 3 years since I left the feudal aura, 3 long years. I'm still in school, it's pretty great, I've changed a lot though, and I know my friends see it, every time I see them, they give me those looks, the ones were you feel that you don't belong, the ones where they look at you like there forcing there smiles. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the old days, with InuYasha and the gang. I miss them all, Miroku and Sango and especially Shippo… but not more then InuYasha. School has been weird, the teachers know I'm changing, they see me all the time hanging out with the `wrong' crowd… but I don't really care much, I hang out with them because they are kinda like Sango and Miroku and everyone, but I don't hang out with them much, I'm usually alone, or with yuka and them, but I always put on a smiling face, to hide the real pain.

I broke down crying the other day, in class…it was history, and we were learning about the feudal aura and the myths and legends. Demons. That was the first word Ms. Yamata, our history teacher said. She talked about the great demons that used to rule Japan.

~~~Flashback~~~

“Demons, in old mythology demons ruled Japan. Today class, we will take a look into the feudal aura.” Ms. Yamata announced.

“The most famous Demons of all though, were the great Inu Youkai's. Especially Lord Inu No Taisho, and his sons Lord Sesshomaru, ruler of the Western Lands, and his younger son Lord InuYasha, half demon.”

By this time my eyes had started to water and the printing on the bored was blurry.

“Sesshomaru, as legend told, ruled the western lands with an iron fist. InuYasha, protected humans, and fell in love with one, a miko, her name started with a K, but that's all the information was on the girl, as they say, she was pure to the heart and soon she fell in love with InuYasha, but there love was not meant to be.”

“Ms. Yamata, why does InuYasha have more of a story I mean he didn't even rule anything.” Asked one of my classmates.

“Well, Hoji, InuYasha, was one of the only demons to care for humans, and he had more heart then his brother, Sesshomaru, there wasn't much on Sesshomaru, he was a mysterious demon, but InuYasha's life told that of anyone's life, a life of not belonging, therefore it is easier to understand him. That is why I have chosen InuYasha as the class subject, we will be learning about this great demon for a month.” Ms Yamata said

“Yeah but he was a half breed, who wants to learn about him?” Asked a girl, Nakashima

“He is not! He was brave, caring and more then just a half breed so shut your mouth, you ignorant human!” I yelled, I burst down crying then, and then soon fainted. My mom picked me up and excused me from the subject.

~~~End of flash back~~~

Everything is so hard now. I can't even confide in my mom, she just wouldn't get it… not like Sango or Miroku would. I'm alone, and now I know how InuYasha must have felt. To be alone, to not have love.

Kagome took out her cigarette and her lighter and lighted the cig. She had been smoking for a few months now, only when she needed to though… when she needed time off of InuYasha

InuYasha, I love him so much, and I let him go because I thought it was right, and I still do… it was right, I wanted him to be happy, I wanted him to love, to trust to have friends… even if I wasn't apart of it, even if I wasn't there. He needed to be happy, with all he had gone through in life; I could give my happiness for him, I would give my life for him… I would do anything if he asked me to… I just wanted to be with him.

Miroku once told me, sometimes to be truly happy is to give someone else that happiness. I never understood what that meant…until the very moment I said goodbye to my second life. I realized that I would be happy if InuYasha was happy, so I gave up seeing him, it was for the best, he'll be ok… and so will I… at least that's what I tell myself.

I wish with all my heart I was more then second to InuYasha. But in the end I was ONLY second best and nothing more, never first always second, no matter how hard I tried. And I still kept on trying, trying until it hurt, until I couldn't breathe, until I cried, until I bled…until I was happy with only being his friend. I would never give InuYasha's friendship away for anything, not for anyone, and I never will…not ever.

Kagome took a long drag of her cigarette, and started to think about when she finally said goodbye.

~~~Flash back~~~

Kagome sat by the well, InuYasha and her had just had another fight, she looked into the depths of the well and then realized how clear everything was. She was only second best. She saw Miroku and Sango in the distance, Miroku had just groped Sango and she was angry… Kagome could help but smile, they were so much in love. Kagome had, right then, given up in competing with Kikyou, she jumped into the well…for the last time, a tear falling from her eyes, and the twilight blue swallowed her, never to be seen in the feudal aura again.

`That's the way it should be, I wasn't meant for that time…and I never will be. `

~~~End of flash back~~~

That was the last time I saw any of my friends from the feudal aura, it was just so sudden

Kagome took one last smoke and burned out the cigarette, she turned to the well like she did every night and whispered the words that she always wanted to say when she was still there

“I love you InuYasha, and I always have.” She then turned and left the well house, waiting for the next day, when she would repeat the process all over again.