InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Secret Love, Secret Power ❯ Confusion ( Chapter 3 )

Confusion

 

Kagome sighed as she relaxed into the hot spring water. She felt the tension slowly leave her muscles as she soaked up the warmth.

 

If only my mind would relax too.

 

Inuyasha's behaviour confused her, and even slightly frightened her. Her mind had been running around circles ever since the little `incident', her thoughts chasing each other endlessly until she was dizzy.

 

But before she worried herself into hysteria, she was going to get a second opinion on the matter.

 

“Sango,” she blurted desperately to the woman reclining in the spring beside her, “what exactly was it that happened back there?”

 

Sango blinked at the unexpected question. “Well,” she said slowly, “Inuyasha gave us a rather pointed demonstration of his manhood.” She seemed to feel that Kagome should have known that already.

 

Of course I know that! She thought in annoyance, then said out loud, “But why?”

 

Sango sighed. “Inuyasha is so hotheaded and rash that it's easy to mistakenly assume that he's younger than he actually is. And lately, we've all been calling him childish quite a bit, especially since he's been avoiding you for, what we assumed was, a stupid, petty, and . . . well, childish reason. But of course, we know now that he was doing it for a very adult reason.”

 

You're not kidding! Kagome felt another flash of embarrassment. Inuyasha had been avoiding her because she was in heat. That clearly implied that he was feeling some sort of attraction towards her because of it. Her cheeks started to turn red again at the thought.

 

Sango stared into the steamy water, a sad little frown on her beautiful face. “Come to think of it, we've been calling Inuyasha childish for a long time. Miroku's remark tonight was just the one that tipped the scale. Inuyasha must have felt the need to prove to us that he was not a child.”

 

That wasn't the only thing he was feeling a need to do, Kagome thought, starting to get angry. Why did he have to involve her in his little demonstration?

 

“And so he did prove it,” Sango continued, oblivious to Kagome's increasingly sour mood, “by doing the one thing that a child could never do. Or even a teenage boy for that matter. No, he proved once and for all that he is a grown man.” She paused, “A sexually mature grown man.”

 

Kagome started to blush again. Yes, she had definitely noticed that.

 

“I wonder how old he really is,” Sango mused. Then she turned to Kagome. “What was it like?”

 

Huh?

 

“What was what like?” she asked, completely clueless.

 

Sango rolled her eyes. “I mean, what was it like being that close to him when he was like that? I could feel him from where I was. Don't tell me that you didn't feel anything at all?”

 

Kagome's blush deepened. She must look like a tomato by now. “I, well, I . . .” Sango gave her an impatient look. “Well, I definitely felt . . . something,” she concluded lamely.

 

Sango motioned her to continue.

 

She wants me to describe it?

 

The demon slayer continued to motion.

 

Apparently she does.

 

Kagome couldn't deny that Sango had always been completely open and honest with her, so, she decided with a small sigh, she would have to do the same.

 

“It was the most unbelievable feeling ever. I could feel the heat, the energy, just rolling off him. I could see the lust in his eyes, the desire, the need. The need for---for me.”

 

She still had trouble thinking that, let alone saying it. Sango listened avidly.

 

“His body language just screamed sex and confidence too. There wasn't the slightest indication of hesitation or uncertainty.”

 

And that had surprised her. Kagome had never thought of Inuyasha as being sexually experienced. She had thought he was just as completely inexperienced as she was, seeing as he always seemed so shy and secretive about relationships and such. It seemed she had also thought him a child, just like the others.

 

Apparently we were wrong. Very wrong.

 

She found herself wondering just where - and with whom - he had gained this experience. Unbidden, the thought of Inuyasha sleeping with Kikyo popped into her mind. She quickly squashed it.

 

“So how did all this make you feel? I know I was feeling slightly attracted to him, and I was much farther away than you.” Sango looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

 

Kagome had been afraid Sango would ask her that. The emotions that had torn through her had been completely new to Kagome, and she didn't understand them in the slightest.

 

And she definitely did not want to share them with anyone else.

 

Oh well, she thought in resignation, maybe talking about it will help me understand. Or, if worst comes to worst, I can just ask Sango to explain it to me.

 

“I felt . . .” she paused, searching for the right words. The problem was there were no words to describe what she had felt. “I wanted him. I wanted to hold him as tight as I could. I wanted him to hold me as tight as he could. I felt like I was on fire. I longed for him. It was . . . unbelievable. It was torture, not moving, not acting. I wanted to run to him, and yet, at the same time, I wanted to run away.”

 

Kagome sighed. This was definitely going to require some thought. Sorting out all these emotions was going to take time. A lot of time. Sango must have noticed her helpless confusion.

 

“Don't worry Kagome,” she said sympathetically. “You've never experienced those kinds of feelings or emotions before, at least not on that kind of scale, and it was only natural for you to feel uncertain. I think you definitely did the right thing.” She scowled suddenly. “I can't believe that pig suggested that you bed with him! At your fertile time too. Like you'd want a child right now. Like you'd want /his/ child! Who cares if he was doing it to prove something! He had no right! What if you had accepted, not understanding? Heaven knows he wouldn't have turned you down! The creep!”

 

Kagome blushed deeply once more, and dove underwater. That was not what she wanted to hear. The problem was she actually had come close to accepting. Very close. Too close. She'd realized a long time ago that she loved Inuyasha. Those feelings had never faded, no matter how much she had wished them to. Inuyasha might have come to love her too, if not for Kikyo's resurrection. After that, the only thing the half-demon saw when he looked at Kagome was a flawed copy of his Kikyo. And of course, a fairly useful, if rather helpless, jewel detector.

 

But the priestess was gone for good now. Naraku had destroyed all her remains so that she could never be resurrected again. Could Inuyasha have finally put Kikyo behind him for good? Had he developed feelings for Kagome now? His behaviour would suggest that. Could it really be true? Kagome tried not to get her hopes up.

 

Inuyasha's emotions were an enigma to her. The only ones she ever really saw were anger and frustration. And, occasionally, other emotions surfaced like concern, sadness, amusement, and every once in a while, contentment. But that was it. She had seen wild animals show a greater range of emotions. Were those all the emotions he experienced because of his demon blood? Or was he just very good at hiding them? She suspected the latter, especially after what she'd just seen.

 

Kagome surfaced in the middle of the spring. Sango had gone silent and was gazing into the trees across from her, looking preoccupied. Kagome hoped that the demon slayer wasn't still fuming over Inuyasha. Tipping her head back, Kagome stared at the slowly emerging stars. Either way, she knew deep down that she was not ready to sleep with any man yet, let alone a sex-craved half-demon, no matter how tempting he had been.

 

Kagome sighed, wishing that she had the ability to read minds. Then she would know for sure how Inuyasha felt about her. She couldn't help but wonder whether she would like the answer or not.

 

Could it really be possible that Inuyasha truly loves me?

 

She just didn't know.

 

::xXxXxXxXxXxxxXxxxXxXxXxXxXx::

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters that Rumiko Takahashi has created for us to enjoy.