InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Secret Love ❯ Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters as they all belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Chapter 19

“Kagome. What are you doing all the way out here? You aren't trying to sneak home are you?” Inuyasha asked suspiciously, obviously missing the fact that she had been expecting someone else.

“Uh. No I'm not trying to sneak home! I'm just… trying to get some alone time. Yep! Just sitting out here under the stars spending some quality time with me, myself, and I,” she said unconvincingly.

Inuyasha scrutinized her. He saw right through her.

“You're lying,” he said calmly, which was very unusual for him. “Why? What are you really doing out here?”

Kagome fidgeted and glanced around uncomfortably. Then she sighed in defeat. I have to tell him, she thought. I knew I would have to tell him sooner or later. I was just counting on later.

“I was waiting for someone,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

He stared at her in disbelief. “Who could you be waiting on? Everyone at the village is asleep. And why would there be anything that you couldn't say to all of us?” he asks, totally clueless.

“Well, I was kinda sorta waiting for someone that neither lives in nor is in the village…” she trailed off, reluctant to say what she knows she should.

“Who? Is it Kouga? Where is he?” Inuyasha asked, scowling at the thought of her meeting with `that mangy wolf'.

“No, it's not Kouga. But I actually don't know where the person is that I was hoping to meet. I didn't even know for sure if he'd be here,” Kagome admitted.

“He? You're actually waiting for a guy?” Inuyasha asked incredulously.

Kagome's cheeks heated. Here we go, she thought unhappily. “Yes, I'm actually waiting for a guy. But you shouldn't concern yourself with who it is. It doesn't matter,” she said, flustered.

“Yes, I should concern myself and it does matter who you're waiting on! What, you have a boyfriend now? And you didn't tell me? How long have you been seeing him behind my back?” Inuyasha almost shouted.

Now she was angry. “Yeah, so what, I have a boyfriend. I wasn't aware that I had to tell you everything! It's not like you do! Why should I have to inform you about meeting with my boyfriend when you can just flit off to see Kikyo anytime you please?” she yelled.

Inuyasha's face went blank for a moment before he let out a small growl. “My relationship with Kikyo has nothing to do with this. It isn't the same.”

“Oh, really? How do you figure? `Cause you think we don't actually love each other? Or maybe you want to try to deny that you and Kikyo are anything more than friends,” Kagome said venomously.

“We aren't-”

“Please. Don't lie, Inuyasha. I already know. I saw you,” she spat.

Inuyasha grew uneasy. Somehow the tables had turned on him and he didn't like it.

“What are you talking about, Kagome?” he asked.

Kagome closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm down. Why this conversation was affecting her so much, she didn't know. She could honestly say that she was totally over Inuyasha, but some of the bitterness and hurt remained.

“It doesn't matter. Just know that you don't have to keep it a secret any longer. You love her and chose her and I have long since accepted that fact. It hurt at first, but I'm okay now,” she said.

She felt as if a small weight had been lifted off of her chest, and she finally understood the closure that came with confronting those who hurt you.

Inuyasha's eyes dimmed. “I'm telling the truth, Kagome. We were more than friends, but not anymore.”

Kagome looked at him, confused. “Why not?”

“I couldn't bear to be with her. She told me that she regretted giving herself to me, even though she still loved me. That she wished we had waited until I was human. How is that supposed to make me feel? For her to basically tell me she was disgusted with me, `but oh, don't worry, I still love you though.' Just goes to show she is like everyone else,” he said bitterly.

Kagome didn't know what to say. What could she say? Denying that she herself was like that would probably give the impression that she still cared for him as more than just a friend. She didn't particularly like Kikyo, so there would be no point in defending her. The only thing to do was to comfort him in the only way she knew how, no matter in what way he took it as.

Slowly, Kagome wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her in a comforting hug. Inuyasha stiffened against the contact before he let down his defenses and returned the hug.

“I'm sorry, Inuyasha,” Kagome said, her concern apparent in her voice.

He pulled back. “I don't need or want your pity, Kagome. I've had enough of that and you're better off keeping it to yourself,” he said gruffly.

Kagome sighed. “Inuyasha, you know that the way that Kikyo treated you and all those other people do is wrong. It's just plain prejudice and bigotry and Kikyo most definitely doesn't have an excuse because she knows all the things those other people don't. Like how great a friend you are and how you'd do anything to protect those you care about. I say she doesn't deserve you and you need to find someone more willing to see you for you, someone willing to take all of you, demon and human alike.”

At the end of her speech, Inuyasha looked both thoughtful and confused, no doubt due to her usage of big words.

“I guess you're right, Kagome. But you, Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kirara are probably the only ones that do accept me and will ever accept me as a hanyou. I don't expect that I'll ever find someone else that will, too,” he said, obviously resigned to his expected fate.

“I think you will. I'm sure that someone out there, be it ten or twenty years down the road, will see the good in you and appreciate it. Then you can have the happily ever after I'm hoping you'll let me have right now,” Kagome said, quickly changing her tone from reassuring to pleading.

Her reminder of their previous argument sent a scowl to his face and a growl to his throat.

“Oh, come on, Inuyasha, are you really that upset that I'm dating someone? It's not as if I'm in any more danger just because I have a boyfriend. And I highly doubt he'd ever hurt me,” Kagome pointed out.

“Well, if you're away with this boyfriend of yours, how am I supposed to protect you if something happens,” he argued.

Kagome smiled. “Lucky for both of us, he can protect me just as well as you can. He's very strong,” she said, a dreamy expression appearing on her face at the thought of all those muscles her man possessed. `Maybe stronger than you' ran through her mind, a thought that she didn't dare voice aloud.

Inuyasha peered at her suspiciously. “It isn't Naraku, is it?” he all but growled at her.

Her eyes widened in disgust. “No! Gods, why does everyone think that? Do I look like I like vile creepy guys that have tentacles and are evil?” she asked incredulously.

Inuyasha looked puzzled. “Everyone? Does the whole group know? I can't believe you would tell everyone but me, Kagome,” Inuyasha said, beginning what looked like the start of a long monologue that would leave no room for her to respond, so she cut in before he could go further.

“No, only Sango knows. I guess `everyone' was the wrong word,” she said sheepishly.

Inuyasha's scowl lightened an almost unnoticeable fraction, then deepened half a second later.

“Then who is your boyfriend? If it's not Kouga, and he can protect you just as well as I can, or so you say, then I don't know who else it could be.” Inuyasha's eyebrows disappeared beneath his bangs. “Unless it's Sesshomaru! Don't tell me you're seeing that bastard, Kagome! That would be unforgiveable!” Inuyasha ranted.

“No, it's not your brother, either, Inuyasha. Don't you think he hates humans a little too much to even consider being with me? Why don't you stop trying to guess who he is because it's kind of making my head hurt,” Kagome said wearily.

Inuyasha's ever-present scowl returned. “Well, why not just tell me who it is? What, do you think I'm gonna get mad or something?” he asked as if that was the most preposterous thing she had ever considered.

“Yes, Inuyasha, as a matter of fact I do think you'll get mad. You guys aren't exactly best buds, so I'm lucky that we haven't ran into them since our relationship started, as I can't for sure say what I'd do,” she admitted, which she immediately regretted at the look on his face.

“So am I to assume you'd rather be with him that your friends? That you'd take his side over ours? If so, you can just go. We'll find the rest of the jewel shards and defeat Naraku some other way without you,” Inuyasha said in a scarily emotionless voice, and he began to turn away from her.

Kagome grabbed his arm, halting him in his tracks. “I didn't say that. I love you guys like family. I could never leave you. What I meant to say is that if we had ever encountered them and a fight broke out, I'd have to find a way to stop it. I wouldn't be able to bear it if any of you got hurt, or worse, killed. That's all I meant,” she said adamantly.

Inuyasha paused, thinking over her words, then he turned back to face her. “I understand. When I was still sure about Kikyo, I wouldn't have wanted you all fighting her, either. But I am pretty mad that you would stoop so low as to sleep with the enemy,” Inuyasha said, clearly only meaning it in a figurative sense.

Still yet, Kagome's cheeks heated at his words. Thoughts of her last encounter with Bankotsu drifted through her mind causing her cheeks to burn brighter, along with other parts of her body. Inuyasha's keen sense of smell alerted him to the change, his own cheeks reddening at his discovery.

“You didn't actually do that, did you?” he asked, his voice and expression giving away his discomfort.

She didn't deign to answer as the color in her cheeks became a dull red. Inuyasha's claws flexed and his eyes burned with murderous intent. Kagome, noticing this, thought quickly.

“But what's done is done, right? I'm just happy you're taking all of this so well. I was sure that as soon as you found out, you'd be all over the place waking all of Japan with the force of your outrage. But you're being really mature about this and exceeding my expectations. You should be proud of yourself, Inuyasha. You're a step closer to one-upping Naraku. He expects you to blow up and get angry at little things like this and uses that weakness to his advantage,” Kagome said wisely in an attempt to play it off.

Luckily for her, it worked. That is, until Bankotsu appeared out of the trees and stepped within the clearing.

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