InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Secret Lovers ❯ Bundle of News ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Part 8: Bundle of News


A/N: No lemon in this one, but LOTS of fluff and a super long chapter!

Disclaimer: Sadly even though I love writing AU stories on my OTP, they don't belong to me. I tried to buy them, but all I could afford were plushies. Oh well better than nothing lol.

“Talking”
'Thoughts'

Kagura really hated office parties. What she hated more than holiday office parties, was celebrations for personal reasons, and this included baby showers; especially when they were in the honor of her ex boyfriend’s wife.

‘Why are we having that party now anyways, it’s not the kid’s going to come out any time soon. Ayame is barely showing.’ She thought bitterly to herself as she drowned her drink and filled back her glass with a generous portion of the refined whiskey she had taken as her own. She had purposely decided to stay near the refreshment table for two reasons. The main one was that it allowed her to refill her glass as often as she wanted while at the same time giving her an excuse not to have to mingle with her overly excited co-workers.

The young woman knew she was acting bitterly, but she could not help herself. As much as she tried to be glad for Kouga, Ayame and the little life that they had just created together, she could not. The actions of the other Shikon Magazine employees were not helping. Usually she could stand them, but that evening she had been thrown so many pitying look that she really had been tempted to write boldly on her forehead with a red colored marker: ‘I am over Kouga!!!’ As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that she had Sesshoumaru to thank for. Their unusual relationship had in fact helped her put her feelings for Kouga behind her.

‘By the way where is that jerk?’ She wondered to herself as her crimson eyes scanned the open space area of their workplace. She was not surprised not to see him there after all she knew that the young man hated getting involved with company sponsored parties as much as she did. However unlike she, who despite her disgust over it, was still trying to impress her father, he could afford not to participate in celebrations at their workplace.

‘Guess he’s not going to show up.’ Deep inside she knew that she should be glad for his absence. Ever since her embarrassing meltdown as his apartment a few nights ago, she had done her best to keep as far from Sesshoumaru as possible. She had purposely kept all their interactions on a purely professional level going as far as leaving the office early not to be stuck alone with him. As days went by, she realized something surprising to her: she missed Sesshoumaru a lot. She missed him as a lover in her bed, as a confident, but over everything else as a friend. In fact the thought of not seeing her lover that evening depressed her enough to reach for the bottle of alcohol she had considered as hers for the rest of the evening.

“Kagura.” She quickly turned around to have a look at the person who had spoken her name. However she was familiar enough with the deep velvety voice to know exactly who it belonged to: Sesshoumaru.

“Good evening Sesshoumaru.” She feigned bravado by bringing her glass to her lips, and using as even a voice as she could.

“Tsk tsk! Drinking so heavily this early in the evening, my dear Kagura could you be trying to invite another employee of Shikon Magazine into your bed?” He sent her a small smile which turned her insides to jelly.

‘How could I miss that handsome bastard so much?’ She thought to herself. Somehow with just a little grin and a jest, he had managed to make her feel comfortable, and make her forget how she had promised herself to stay as far from Sesshoumaru as possible. Before she could stop herself, she was flirting back with him.

“Well I was planning on seducing someone new since it seemed like my usual lover was not going to show up, but since you’re here…” Her lips stretched into a smirk when she saw him raise an eyebrow in surprise. “You know I’m just kidding! Why would I want anyone else when I could have you?”

“Could have fooled me…” He mumbled under his breath. Kagura’s ‘avoiding act’ as of late had not gone unnoticed by him.

“Did you say something?” She asked him, arching an eyebrow.

“You are hearing things.” He gently teased her as he knew that because he had spoken very softly she had no way of knowing what he had said exactly.

“As glad as I am to finally have someone to talk to, I can’t stay and chat with you too long; people may be getting suspicious about us.” He frowned, but did not say anything in return. She pretended not to notice his unusual reaction and picked up her drink before downing it completely. “Now I’m going to go play nice with our fellow employees and pretend not to care about their pitying looks.”

Kagura sent her lover a little smile before walking away from him. She did gently sway her hips to provoke him; even if she had been avoiding him lately, she still wanted to know if she was able to affect him. Not to mention that a part of her did want to make him pay for coming late to their little office party.

Despite how much he hated the hold Kagura had on him, Sesshoumaru could not remove his golden gaze from her swaying backside. A little grin on his lips, he picked up a glass on the table behind him, and gently poured himself a drink from the bottle the young woman had abandoned earlier.

‘Keep running little witch; I will not let you get away from me for very long.’

As he sipped his drink, he thought back to the real reason he had come to the office party, which did not include congratulating Kouga and Ayame on their baby.

Just like his lover, he hated attending gatherings with his co-workers, and unlike her, he made it a point not to come to the office parties. However he had made an exception that night because of one person: Kagura. The second he had heard about Kouga and Ayame having a child; he had thought about how his lover would welcome the news.

‘I know Kagura claims she is over Kouga, but I cannot help but wonder… it would explain why she behaved so unusually at my apartment the other night. Why she suddenly filled her head with that ridiculous notion of being with child. ’ He reflected on Kagura’s assumption after she had talked to her sister.

‘Kagura is truly not acting as her usual self.’ Only thinking about how she had been acting distant ever since that awful night at his apartment made him want to put his drink down after a sip; it had lost any taste to him. Nevertheless, he forced himself to down the glass before putting it away. ‘At least she seems more like her old usual self tonight. Maybe it will provide me with the opportunity I have been waiting for…’

He refused to dwell on his feelings towards his young co-worker. At first their relationship had been merely based on sexual attraction and gratification, but things had started changing as of late. Ever since the night he had ditched dinner with Touran in favor of spending the evening with Kagura, he had seen his feelings for his fellow co-editor grow, and had not been able to do anything about it. This had continued on as he cared for her during her illness, and had culminated when she had come to him in a panic fearing she might be having his child.

As little as he might like the fact that he was feeling things he should not for his younger co-worker, he could not prevent himself from thinking about her all the time. To his annoyance, ever since that night Kagura had found many reasons not to spend time with him. She claimed to have too much work now that Naraku had approved for her restaurant critic section to be a permanent feature in the magazine, but he was not entirely convinced by her words.

‘I really need to stop thinking about her. How has she bewitched me?!’ He purposely stirred his mind away from tantalizing thoughts of Kagura, and decided to look at his other co-workers spread out around the room, hoping to find a distraction.

As his sharp golden eyes took in the crowd of his fellow Shikon Magazine employees, he allowed an uncommon slight growl to leave his lips. The one thing he had come to that tedious party in the hopes of preventing was happening: Kouga was heading straight towards Kagura.


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Kagura felt sick. At the moment she really hated herself, and felt fake. She had had to spend the last five minutes congratulating Ayame on her pregnancy; the only reason why she had done so was that the young pretty red head was conveniently standing next to her father and boss. The second Naraku had walked away, so had Kagura. Now that her father had left the party, Yura following closely after him, she did not really see any reason to stay there. Not to mention that the quantity of alcohol she had absorbed moments before was finally catching up to her.

‘Damn it! I knew I shouldn’t have had that last drink.’ She thought to herself as she walked up the stairs towards the small terrace of their building in search of fresh air. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass herself in front of all the Shikon employees by throwing up.

She sighed happily once she reached the opened rooftop space. During work hours it was often used by smokers, but she was glad to find the courtyard empty at the moment. The young woman leaned forward against the railing, and stared down into the darkened street walk seven stories under her. As she stared blindly into space, she could not help but think about her lover.

‘I’ve been so busy lately that Sessh and I barely got to see each other. I might have used the critic section as an excuse not to hang out with him much, but I truly miss my demon now.’ She sighed, her heart longing to spend more time with her lover. ‘He doesn’t seem to hold against me that stupid behavior of the other night, so I don’t see why I’m still stuck on that. Maybe I could convince him to follow Naraku and Yura’s example and ditch this pathetic party. Of course we’ll have to leave separately, but I don’t think that will be much of a problem.’ Now that she had decided upon this course, she wanted nothing more than to join Sesshoumaru downstairs.

“I hope you’re not considering jumping. I’d hate to have to catch you.” She did not bother turning around to see who had just come to disturb her peace; she knew the voice all too well. To her annoyance it was not Sesshoumaru, who she had been thinking about, but rather Kouga who had come to disturb her.

“What do you want?” She asked, cursing the fact that her voice came out slightly slurred.

“I saw you talking with Ayame earlier… that was nice of you. We weren’t sure how you were going to take the news.” He tentatively walked towards his ex girlfriend.

“It may surprise you, but I really don’t care about your relationship. Congrats on the kiss… I mean kid.” She refrained from telling him that she had been clenching her teeth the whole time she had been talking to the younger woman. Kagura had found it to be a most effective way to prevent herself from insulting Ayame.

“Are you drunk?!” Kouga exclaimed in shock. During the time he had dated Kagura, he had seen her enjoy a drink once in a while, but he knew that she had always been too career driven to get drunk on a regular basis. After all she never could anticipate when her father would call her in the middle of the night to ask her to work on a story for their magazine.

“No I’m not, but even if I was, what’s it to you?” Her answer was completed with a little chuckle.

Kouga cursed under his breath. He had intended to have a conversation with Kagura, but considering that she was clearly inebriated, he could smell it on her breath, he had no choice but to throw away his plan. He had thought that the time had come for them to discuss their past relationship, and particularly how it had ended. Even to this day he still cared about Kagura, and had never wanted to bring her pain. He knew that the reason he had left her for the much younger Ayame was that the red head was fun. Being with Kagura had quickly become a competition between him and her job, and to his own disgust the job had a tendency to win. During the time he had dated Kagura, it was not uncommon for her to fail to show up at one of their dates because she was working on a special assignment for Shikon Magazine. Kouga had not liked to be second best, even though he knew that the main reason behind her professional drive was her father. All the hard work Kagura put into the magazine was a way for her to impress Naraku. The choice between the forgetful workaholic Kagura and the cute devoted Ayame had been an easy one for the young blue eyed man to make; even if at times like that night, his conscience would pain him.

“Oh hell! You’re really fucking drunk. Damn it, come here. I’ll drive you home; you’re in no state to get home by yourself.” He stepped right next to her, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He was surprised when she slapped his limb away.

Kagura turned towards him with an angry look etched on her face. “Don’t you dare you asshole! You have no right to touch me; you gave up that right when you cheated on me.”

Kouga frowned. All he had wanted was to extend a helpful hand towards Kagura, and had really not expected to have his kindness be thrown back in his face.

“Why are you acting so bitchy? Usually you’re not that mean.”

‘He did not just insult me!’ The young woman growled inwardly. ‘How can I explain to that idiot that the only reason I have been polite to him ever since he dumped me was that he and his bimbo are employees of my father, and work under me.’

“Why am I acting like a bitch?!” She chuckled cruelly. “Maybe it’s because my bastard of a boyfriend decided to dump me for a bimbo younger than me.” For so long she had wanted to speak of her feelings to Kouga, but had refrained from doing so because she wanted to keep the peace at the office. Kagura was aware that Naraku would not take to kindly to her getting involved with a fight with one of his employees. She had therefore resorted to avoiding Ayame, Kouga and the other Shikon employees rather than speaking her mind. However now that she was alone with Kouga, and had liquid courage, or rather whiskey, running through her veins, she found it impossible to keep her mouth shut.

“I thought you would be over me by now.” His words made her feelings evolve from anger to blind fury. She raised a finger, and poked him in the chest with it; causing him to cry out in surprise and pain.

“Why you stupid jerk! I am over you. I don’t care about you, and I really don’t see how I could have fallen for you in the first place. I’m just glad to finally be able to tell you how I really feel.”

Taking advantage of Kagura briefly shutting her mouth to take a deep calming breath, Kouga tried speaking.

“Kagura you need to…”

“Silence! I’m not done.” She poked him once more, smiling when she noticed him wince in pain again. “You’re an asshole. The worst of all bastards. In a way I feel bad for Ayame being saddled with a spineless, lying, cheating jerk like you.” She took one more break. “To be honest, I don’t care about you anymore, and I wish you the best. From now on we’ll just be co-workers, and no more talk about ‘poor bitter Kagura everyone has to feel sorry for.’ Got it?!”

She felt tears of anger and frustration rise in her eyes, but tried her hardest not to let them fall. She would be damned before she let Kouga see her cry.

‘The idiot would probably think I’m crying over him…’ She thought angrily. ‘When in truth I’m just glad to be rid of all these feelings I’ve carried around for so long.’

He let out a sigh then purposely ignoring Kagura’s sharp glare and hurtful finger; he placed both hands on her shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I don’t really know what to say…” He struggled for the right words to say, and ignored Kagura trying to shrug out of the hold he had on her. “I guess you’re right, I also only want us to be able to all work together in peace.

“Get your hands off her.” The heads of both Kagura and Kouga snapped towards the door leading to the terrace. They were surprised to see Sesshoumaru staring at them, with a murderous expression in his eyes.

Because Kouga did not move as he had been ordered, Sesshoumaru added “Now.” The edge present in his voice prompted the other man to remove the hold he had on the young woman immediately.

“We were just talking…” Kouga defended himself. He was not sure why Sesshoumaru was this angry, but ever since the other man had started working at Shikon Magazine, the two of them had not liked each other. In the past few months for a reason unknown to Kouga, the antipathy Sesshoumaru had towards him had grown.

Kagura scoffed as she took in the silent struggle between the two men. She found the situation amusing, but could not help but think it was probably due to the fact that she was not entirely sober.

“Down Sesshoumaru!” She laughed to herself when he turned his sharp glare solely on her. She had anticipated that he would not take too kindly to being spoken to like a dog.

Since the co-editor of the magazine was not going to snap at his lover in the presence of Kouga, of all people, he decided to ignore Kagura’s mocking command, and work on getting them rid of her ex.

“Your pregnant wife was looking for you.” Kouga gave Sesshoumaru a suspicious look after hearing his words, but since he could not call his boss a liar, he decided to relent.

“We were done anyways. Good night Kagura.” Flicking his long dark ponytail over his shoulder, the young dark haired man walked away.

Sesshoumaru followed Kouga with his golden eyes, and waited until the other man was out of sight, but more importantly out of earshot before asking the question that had been on his lips ever since he had spied Kagura wrapped in her ex boyfriend’s arms.

“What was that?”

Kagura chuckled, clearly amused by the anger shinning through in his voice. “That was me getting liberated. You have no idea how good it felt to finally tell that bastard of Kouga how I truly feel about him.”

“Which is?” Sesshoumaru hoped that his eagerness to find out how his lover felt towards the other man would not be betrayed in his voice.

Kagura let out another chuckle, which grated on his nerves. “Are you jealous? Don’t worry, I seriously don’t care about him; especially when I have a much better man in front of me.” The words barely out of her mouth, she launched herself towards him, but found herself stumbling. Before she fell, Sesshoumaru hurried forward and caught her.

“I knew it. You’re drunk.” He repressed the urge to laugh himself when Kagura sent him a glare. He knew she was about to insult him for questioning her sobriety, and beat her to it. “My apologies, you must have stumbled because of your heels. Why don’t we sit until you… regain your bearings.” He did not give her the opportunity to argue, and not relinquishing the hold he had on her waist, lead them towards a little bench on the side of the terrace.

Considering that she was feeling a little dizzy, Kagura made no protest, and sat down. Relief clear in his gaze, Sesshoumaru sat down next to his lover.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have drunk that much; I’m going to regret that tomorrow.’ She sighed, thinking about the hangover she surely was going to have to nurse the following morning.

“You are behaving most unusually tonight.” He said thoughtfully.

“Ha! Coming from you; how ironic. I believe this is the first time I’ve seen you coming to an office party.” She shot back at him.

“True.” He conceded. He then took a brief pause as he mulled over what to say next. He was still under the influence of the strong emotions that were running through his body ever since he had seen Kouga put his hands on Kagura. Even if the thought of lying occurred to him, he decided against it. It was high time for him to be honest with Kagura. He had never been a coward, and always faced his problems head on. He therefore had no intention of changing now only because he was feeling things he had never before.

“Well, if you must know, this Sesshoumaru only came because of you.” His admission, caused her to whip her head to the side to look at him thoughtfully. ‘Why is she looking at me with such surprise?’ He wondered before adding aloud. “Ever since that night at my apartment, you have been… acting differently… distant if not a bit withdrawn.” He struggled with finding the perfect word for describing Kagura’s behavior as of late, and came up short. They had not yet talked about her rushing to his apartment in the middle of the night after talking to her sister. He could still not understand how a mature, intelligent and rational woman like had somehow managed to convince herself she was pregnant after reading a few articles on the internet.

Then as he started thinking back to Kagura’s behavior, something else came to mind. “Actually your unusual behavior has started ever since Ayame announced her pregnancy.” He recalled that before the red head had said anything, he and Kagura had been doing well. In fact at the time Kagura had been apologizing to him and thanking him for having Naraku change his mind about her restaurant critic section.

“You think I’m jealous of Ayame, don’t you?” The young woman scoffed. “I’m not withdrawn; I’m pissed. My bad mood has had nothing to do with these two.” In response the silver haired man simply arched an eyebrow. She knew he did not believe her, and this only caused her anger to grow even more. “I’m not jealous of Ayame having Kouga’s kid… I just…” Kagura felt tears of frustration rise inside her, but pushed them down. “Maybe you’re right, but I think…  it’s my sister too.”

“Kanna? Has something happened to her?” Sesshoumaru questioned. He knew Kagura was as tight lipped about her family as he was, and was therefore surprised to hear her bring up her only sibling.

“No she’s fine.”

“Does what you are trying to explain to me have anything to do with another theory of hers on how you could be with child?” He asked with a derisive snort.

She sighed heavily instead of answering his question. “Did you know that my birthday is next week?”

Sesshoumaru thought about saying that her question had little to do with Kanna, but figured not mentioning it would be for the best. “If I remember correctly, your exact birth date has been kept a secret from the other Shikon employees. Even the people in human resources have refused to tell; you must have given them some serious bribe.”

“I am not particularly fond of office birthday parties, neither are you…” By convincing her father to give the two HR employees an extra budget for office parties; Kagura had gained their trust, and in exchange they had not told anyone about her birthday. She and Sesshoumaru were the only two employees at Shikon Magazine who did not go through the ‘cake and balloons’ birthday party. She did not know exactly how her fellow co-editor had managed to keep his date of birth a secret, but she was not about to ask.

“Anyways… next week I’m going to turn 34 years old. By that age my mother already had two kids, and was divorced from Naraku... which considering how much of a bastard that man is, isn’t such a bad thing. And Kanna… well… my little sister just announced to me that her husband and she are going to have a third kid. On top of that even my asshole of an ex is getting his happy ending. Everyone’s happy except poor little Kagura who’s fulfilled none of her goals.” She paused to let out a bitter chuckle. “I had always thought that by the time I turned 35, I would be head of Shikon Magazine, and would have a family of my own.” She let out a deep sigh. “So maybe you’re right, perhaps I’m jealous.”

‘Hum that would explain her surprising reaction when she came to my apartment that one night.’ Sesshoumaru thought to himself. ‘Had she hoped at the time that the child had actually been conceived?’ To his own surprise the thought of it warmed his heart.

It was uncommon for his lover to confide in him so openly. The last time she had spoken to him about her feelings this truthfully was when they had discussed their families. She may have revealed much about her past, but had kept her dreams and aspirations to herself. Her only goal he knew about was taking over Shikon Magazine; he knew not what she yearned for in her personal life. After all they had made it a point not to discuss their relationship, and where it could be headed. Sesshoumaru was therefore unsure on how exactly to react, or what to say to make Kagura feel better. He could see her eyes shine with unshed tears, and it tore at his heart. Before he realized it, he was trying to cheer her up.

“Why do you sound so defeatist? You are still young, and can achieve all you have just mentioned. Besides did you not mention that unlike you, your sister chose not to work? Raising children is her chosen career. Being a stay at home mother would make you miserable. You enjoy your job, and have invested a lot in the magazine, which Naraku is sure to recognize eventually.”

She had to admit that his words about her sister were right, but unlike him did not believe Naraku had plans to let her play a more important role in Shikon Magazine any time soon.

Kagura scoffed at his words. “Oh yeah. My dear old dad is going to give me full control of the magazine any day, and I am going to be married and with an actual kid in the coming year. That’s never going to happen.” Then as something else occurred to her, all the anger vanished from her voice to be replaced by complete despair. “Besides I had a chance once, and I blew it.”

Sesshoumaru frowned in incomprehension. “Are you talking about Kouga?” He had struggled to let the words out as he feared hearing what Kagura would answer. After listening to her confrontation with the younger blue eyed man, he had come to truly believe that Kagura was indeed over her past boyfriend. He had even come to hope the young woman might be returning his feelings.

“No. Not exactly.” The young woman’s face suddenly went blank. She stood up from the bench, and took a few steps. As much as she had tried keeping her secret from everyone in the past three years, at the moment she wanted to confide in Sesshoumaru. ‘Keeping silent has become very hard. I’ve always wanted to tell someone ever since then. I couldn’t talk about it to Kanna back then since she was about to give birth to Akago, and afterwards, I just didn’t want her to worry.’ Only thinking about that dark time in her life, the young woman felt tears rise to her eyes, and as much as she tried, she was unable to keep them at bay.

Sesshoumaru’s keen eyes noticed his lover’s hunched shoulders, and he could not stand to stay seated while watching her suffer in silence. He too took to his feet, and walked towards Kagura. It was only once he stepped forward that he noticed her shoulders were slightly shaking.

“Are you crying?” He asked Kagura, surprise clear in his voice. ‘I really do not understand what is going on.’ He reached up to encircle her in his arms, and gently turned Kagura around to face him. He did his best not to gasp when he was confronted with the image of salty warm tears pouring from her crimson eyes.  “Kagura.” He pleaded. “Talk to me.”

“I’m sorry.” She hiccupped. “I… last time at your apartment, I acted like a fool… And I wasn’t really mad at you, I was just… I guess… transferring my feelings about something else onto you. I shouldn’t… have treated you this way. I also should not have avoided you either these past few days… That was unfair to you.”

‘Ah so she admits it.’ Sesshoumaru thought to himself even if he did not dare voice it aloud. After all now that Kagura was finally talking to him, he did not want to anger her.

“Kagura, I only wish to understand what is happening here. I feel like there is something you are not telling me.” He did not know how else to reach her as he really could not figure out what was happening. He really felt like he was missing a crucial piece of the puzzle; one that would give him a key to access the deepest recess of Kagura’s heart.

‘If there is anyone I could confide in, it’s Sesshoumaru. I know he wouldn’t judge me.’ She thought just a she opened her mouth to relate her tale. “Three years ago, not long after Kouga left me… I found out I was pregnant.”

Her sudden statement was met with a long pause. Finally, her lover could not contain his surprise and shock. “What?” Sesshoumaru could tell by Kagura’s attitude that she was reluctant to tell him about whatever she wanted to talk to him about. He had therefore promised himself he would not interrupt her until she was done with speaking; however, her admission had been too stunning for him to keep silent. “What happened to the child?”

“I had a miscarriage… it was all my fault.” The young woman said before dissolving into sobs.

“Kagura, you do realize that… such things happen.” He felt awkward as trying to comfort her with words made him feel inadequate. “The… mother…” using such a word coupled with Kagura’s name felt strange to him. “…is rarely at fault.”

She shook her head violently. “You don’t understand. If I hadn’t been working so hard, if I had paid more attention to myself then my baby wouldn’t have died.”

Things suddenly made sense to Sesshoumaru. ‘I see now why she was so upset at my apartment the other night. Did she feel like she had somehow failed again because she had not realized she might be pregnant?’ He then recalled that he had flung in her face the fact that she should have realized she was pregnant before speaking with her sister if a child had indeed been conceived. ‘I never would have said that had I known about her past.’ Thinking about how uncaring his words must have felt to her made him inwardly wince.

“It was only after I went to the emergency room because of an unbearable stomach ache that I found out there had been a baby. If I had gone to see a doctor the first time I felt a painful stomach cramp, maybe I wouldn’t have lost the baby. A week before it happened I started having stomach pains, but I ignored them, and worked though the pain.” Her eyes took on a faraway look as she recalled what had happened three years before. “At the time I had been so busy with work. Our main competitor, Sengoku Today, was beating us in circulation number, and Naraku blamed me for not coming up with more innovative ideas even if he was the one working as editor in chief. I was under a lot of stress… I was barely eating, and pushing myself to the point of exhaustion… if only I had been taking better care of myself…”

Sesshoumaru hated hearing his lover beat herself up like this. “Kouga’s cheating I am sure was not helping matters either.”

She smiled sadly upon hearing his words. ‘That’s for sure. Having Naraku breathing down my neck about the magazine, and seeing Ayame and Kouga acting all lovey dovey under my nose was not helping.’

‘Kagura looks so devastated. I cannot believe that she still blames herself. If anyone should be held responsible it is Kouga.’ Only thinking about the other man made Sesshoumaru clench his fist in anger. ‘He should have taken care of her. If Kagura was pregnant with my child, I would never let her out of my sight. Not that I would cheat on her and leave her to begin with…’

Sesshoumaru found himself at a loss when it came to what he should do next. He had no idea how to make Kagura’s sadness go away or how to make her feel better. All he knew was how he felt, and that was all her could think to express. “I am sorry for your loss.”

Sesshoumaru’s words resonated through her, and she could not prevent fresh tears from escaping her eyes. It was the first time she saw herself as a victim. For the past three years, she had blamed herself as she was sure she had provoked the miscarriage by not taking care of herself or listening to her body’s cries of alarm.

‘Sesshoumaru is right… it wasn’t my fault… “Besides I wanted to have that baby even without Kouga in the picture.” She added aloud.  “I’ve always wanted to have children of my own, and I would never do anything to hurt my child intentionally.” She sighed and wiped the last of her tears away. Somehow Sesshoumaru, the ice block, had been the one who had managed to make her start to accept herself. For the first time in a long time, the young woman felt at peace with her past. “I just hate that I lost my chance to experience motherhood.”

“Kagura, you do realize you are still young. You can still have the family you hope for.”

She snorted upon hearing his words. “Having a child would imply I have a man in my life. I don’t even have a boyfriend.” She walked towards the rail, and once again looked down into the empty streets. Rather than a need for fresh air, what motivated her action this time was that she did not dare look at Sesshoumaru’s reaction to her words.

Her words caused the two of them to stay quiet in reflection. Kagura, because she did not know what else to say, but mostly because she was embarrassed to have revealed so much of herself to the other man. When it came to Sesshoumaru, he was struggling with finding something to say that would make her feel better while conveying his feelings.

“You have me.” Sesshoumaru responded gravelly, breaking the heavy silence.

After a few heartbeats, Kagura turned around to face him before dissolving in a fit of forced laughter. “You?! You and me getting married and raising children together?! That is simply ridiculous.” She threw her head back, and let the sound of her bitter laugh escape her throat. She was laughing so hard that her sides hurt. After a few minutes, she became able to control her fit. She wiped a stray tear from her eye, and finally turned towards her lover. To her shock he was not laughing. He was not even smiling. His golden eyes were locked on her, and he had an unusual look painted on his face.

“What… Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face? Is my hair turning all frizzy again?” She self consciously ran a hand past her thick black bangs to check on the tight bun her hair was held into; she would hate it if one rebellious lock had escaped the tight hold.

Sesshoumaru did not even bother to answer her question. He walked towards her, and placed a hand behind her head to bring her face closer to his. Kagura barely had the chance to gasp before her lips were caught in a passionate kiss by Sesshoumaru’s mouth. He took advantage of her opening her mouth to protest, and slipped his tongue inside the warm cavern. All thoughts of protest fled the young woman’s mind. She responded eagerly to his kiss, not even caring that any employee of their magazine could simply walk in on them kissing passionately on the terrace, under the light of the moon.

Kagura raised her hands to bring him closer by clutching his long silver hair. Despite the constraints of the security rail pressing against her back, they managed to press their bodies flush together. To the regret of both of the journalists, they had to pull apart to feed air inside their starving lungs.

“What, was that kiss supposed to prove something?” She panted breathlessly. “We have great sexual chemistry; we’ve proven that enough times in the past few months…” She then pointed out. ‘It’s not enough to make a life together, or have and raise children either for that matter.’ She ignored the twinge that pierced her heart when she tried forcing herself to think that Sesshoumaru and she had no real future together. She was still out of breath because of his unexpected kiss, but decided to blame it on the large amount of alcohol she had ingested earlier in the evening.

Sesshoumaru shifted his hold from the back of her head to her face. He tenderly brushed his thumb over her swollen lips; a clear result of the amorous kiss they had just shared. Even if he did not feel like explaining his motives to her, he knew he had no choice if he wanted his wishes to come to fruition. He would however never tell her he had kissed her because she had looked too irresistible, and he had not been able to help himself.

“It is true that Kouga would have made a more suitable husband.” Sesshoumaru scoffed. His pride had been wounded by Kagura’s words.

“Even for you that was a low blow.” She hissed angrily.

“Yes.” He agreed, feeling anger at his own uncaring words. “My apologies.” Now that she had told him about what had occurred after Kouga had left her, he knew himself that his words must have hurt her deeply. ‘It seems I am unable to do anything right today. I wanted to make Kagura feel better, and maybe tell her about how I feel… not make her suffer.’ Sesshoumaru thought as he raised his eyes, and looked at the full moon shinning in the sky above them. He knew that the time had come to come clean.

“I have told you of my father’s betrayal of my mother… After witnessing their sham of a relationship, I had come to the decision never to marry or have children.”

“Isn’t that a bit extreme? You know what Naraku did to my mom, yet I didn’t lose faith in relationships and family.” She responded. ‘Then again I wasn’t forced to live with my cheating bastard of a father…’  

“I am aware of that. Things have recently… changed. Let us say my view of things has evolved.” Talking about his feelings was not something Sesshoumaru was used to, and he was finding it hard to put in words exactly what was going on in his head.

“What are you talking about?” Kagura asked as she found his words confusing. She was sure all the alcohol she had drunk, and the emotional upheavals she had gone through were not helping her comprehension as well.

“When you came to my apartment that night to tell me about the fact that you may be having my child, you did not give me a chance to explain myself. You ran away before I had the opportunity to tell you about how I actually felt about the possibility of the two of us forced into a shared connection.” He, who due to his profession had spent much of his adult life putting words into ideas for his articles, was having a hard time finding the right way to convey what he wanted to say.

She purposely ignored his choice of the word ‘forced’ to refer to a possible child born of the two of them, and focused on what else he had said. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re getting at...” She said breathlessly even if she was starting to guess where their conversation was headed.

“I am falling for you.” He blurted out. As soon as the words left his lips, he knew he would not be able to get them back. More shocking was the fact that he did not want to. He had finally been able to put a name on the strange feelings which had been swarming inside him ever since the night he had favored Kagura over a dinner with Touran. The murderous jealousy he had felt upon seeing Kouga put his hands all over his lover had been the last piece of evidence to him.

‘To think that after 35 years of living, I had to fall in love with her of all people…’ He sighed to himself. Kagura was the most exasperating, and irresistible woman he knew, and now that she was in his life he had no inkling to see her leave it.

Sesshoumaru Tashio might have just made his first love declaration, but he was fairly sure that such words were not supposed to provoke the reaction Kagura suddenly displayed. In fact following his words, the young woman raised her fists, and pummeled his shoulders. Despite their difference in body type, her small fists were really hurting him. Not one to take a beating impassively, he took a hold of her wrists, effectively stopping her attack.

“What is wrong with you woman?!” He roared angrily. He had just bared his soul to her, and the woman had responded in a completely unexpected way.

“You bastard! How dare you take advantage of this situation to play with my feelings! I swear if this is some sort of cruel joke, I will never forgive you.” She hissed struggling, but failing to break his hold on her. The reason for Kagura’s anger was mostly due to the fact that her heart had suddenly lifted inside her chest when Sesshoumaru had expressed his feelings for her. ‘This idea is simply ridiculous. The two of us could never be a happily married couple with kids. We can’t stand each other. He is a demon, and I am a witch.’ She tried to reason herself, even going as far as using the nicknames she and Sesshoumaru had come for each other in order to remind herself of their complicated love-hate relationship.

Sesshoumaru Tashio considered himself to be an understanding man, but this time around Kagura was pushing things a bit far, even for him. He had really believed that she would have fallen into his arms the moment he dared voice his feelings. He sighed as something occurred to him. ‘I should probably be more lenient, after all Kagura is apparently very emotional tonight.’

“Witch, are you done?” He lowered her fists, and hoped her arms would stay down harmlessly next to her body.

“I won’t let you play with my feelings…” She leaned forward, and dropped her head on her lover’s shoulder. He raised a hand to gently brush her hair, careful not to mess up her bun more than it was. He never understood why exactly she felt the need to bind her beautiful dark mane, and as usual he had to refrain himself from unleashing her hair. From the first moment he had seen Kagura’s hair cascading around her bare shoulders, he had loved the sight.

“What are you mumbling about now?” He sighed, glad to see all murderous intent had apparently left her mind. He gently ran his hand over her head and shoulders in a soothing motion. As comforted as Kagura was, she was uncomfortable by this much tender side of her lover she therefore wasted no time severing their embrace, and pushing herself back against the protective rail once more.

“We’re already sleeping together, so you really don’t need to try to butter me up. Contrary to what you may think, I am over Kouga, so you shouldn’t be afraid. I’m not about to throw you out of my bed.” The young woman was trying to convince herself that the only reason why Sesshoumaru had spoken about dreams and feelings was that he was afraid of her ending their arrangement. Her assumption enraged him.

“Do you think so lowly of this Sesshoumaru?” He growled bitterly. “I am not a pathetic adulterer as Kouga. Besides I never say things unless I mean them, which you know. You may doubt my words, but I can assure you that I care about you. I… like you... All of you.”

Kagura blushed furiously at his words. Seeing him so opened made her uncomfortable, and she tried to dispel the strange atmosphere by cracking a joke. “Even my awful frizzy hair?” She forced a chuckle to escape her throat. Ever since she had been a little girl she had felt self conscious about her hair, which was wavy like Naraku’s and not silky like the mane of her mother or sister.

Instead of answering her verbally, the young man picked a strand of hair which had escaped her carefully constructed bun, and gently rubbed it in between his thumb and forefinger.

“I do not see anything awful about this.” Sesshoumaru reached up, and with a quick tug of his finger, he freed her hair from its bound, allowing the dark tresses to fall freely around her shoulders. She did not answer, but groaned loudly in annoyance. She however decided to push away her emotions, and focus back on the problem at hand: Sesshoumaru’s unusual behavior.

‘Maybe he is serious… would it be so terrible to try to have a relationship with Sesshoumaru. We do have common interests, and we’re great in bed. Not to mention that he’s gorgeous, and would make pretty handsome kids.’ To her own annoyance her cheeks burned with pleasure at the idea of getting involved with Sesshoumaru on a deeper level. ‘I probably have drunk more than I thought to be thinking like this.’ Despite her thoughts, she could not prevent her heart from beating faster now that in her mind flashed the imagine of a crimson eyed and silver haired baby.

She gathered up her courage, and pushed back all thoughts of her father’s continuous rejection, and Kouga’s betrayal. ‘Sesshoumaru is right… he is the most honorable man I know. He would never willingly or deliberately hurt me… like they did’

“Hey, were you serious earlier? When you were talking about us… and you know...” She looked up into his golden eyes. Kagura was not a very shy person, but found herself unable to voice aloud his previous comment on him being here for her.

“Still not convinced?” The impertinent grin which curled his mouth made her scowl.  “Are you not the one who just said that you had not lost faith in relationships despite how your father and Kouga have abandoned you?”

Kagura was annoyed by the way he was talking to her. “Did you just psychoanalyze me?!”

“This Sesshoumaru would do no such thing. I was merely pointing out the obvious.” He could tell that she had a hard time believing in his feelings, and this annoyed him. Kagura was after all the first and only woman he had ever expressed feelings for, and to see her throw them back in his face offended him. “Kagura, you know that I am not the kind of man who begs. If you are not interested, we can go our separate ways.”

“You can’t just say you like me, and then expect me to be ready to walk down the aisle with you! We’ve never even been on a date.” Kagura angrily pushed herself away from the security railing framing the terrace against which she had pushed herself to escape Sesshoumaru earlier. She had moved a little too quickly, and slightly loss her balance due to both the alcohol she had consumed, and the four inch heels she was wearing. She may have stumbled, but she was however able not to fall, for which she was truly grateful. Nothing would have been more mortifying than falling in front of Sesshoumaru. She was aware that he knew she had been drinking, but this was not going to take the sting out of her embarrassment.

Things were not going exactly how Sesshoumaru had planned. Not that he had expected to confess his feelings for his co-worker this very minute.

“Your hearing has yet to improve it seems. This Sesshoumaru has not proposed marriage to you.” He did not like seeing the young woman walking away from him this quickly after his big confession.

“Then what do you want?” She asked, truly confused, as she sharply turned around to look back at him.

Sesshoumaru mulled over his words before answering. “A pact.”

“You are becoming weirder by the minute.” The young woman raised a hand to massage her forehead. She could feel a headache developing fast, and was sure Sesshoumaru was the one to blame. “What do you mean by a pact?”

“You have thrown in my face earlier that we have yet to go on a proper date.”

“Yeah but…” She started, but he quickly cut her off.

“I shall remedy to that.” Sesshoumaru let her know. “In fact we will engage in a… courtship.”

“A courtship?” She echoed, surprise clear in her voice. “Who still uses such a word?” She snorted.

“Have you forgotten I am almost forty years old?” He joked lightly She groaned at hearing his words. Hearing him talk about age only reminded her of how she had failed to fulfill her life goals. “We shall go on dates, and engage in interactions involving more than just sex.” He may have been the one who had spoken, but Kagura was the one who blushed.

“I…” Kagura struggled to find words. The whole situation was so foreign to her that she did not know how to react. She had been asked out before, but never in such a fashion, and never by a man who she had been sleeping with for several weeks...

Sesshoumaru as if sensing her discomfort, walked towards her, and gently took one of her hands in his, his thumb tenderly caressing her knuckles. “You have no need to worry. We will take things slowly. Both of us are unused to this…” He did not find a word to describe exactly what was happening between them, and settled for a hand gesture by pointing to the younger woman than himself.

The young woman was deep in thought. She was unsure of what she should do next. When Kagura failed to give him a response, Sesshoumaru frowned.

“Do you hate this Sesshoumaru so much, and find the idea of dating me so distasteful that you would refuse my… offer?” Despite the hurt he was feeling, he managed to keep his voice as emotionless as possible. He let go of her hand, and forced his golden eyes to stare coldly into her crimson orbs.

Kagura sighed before answering. “I don’t hate you. I may hate the way Naraku keeps favoring you when it comes to the magazine, but I can’t really blame you for that.” She briefly thought back to how Sesshoumaru had managed to convince Naraku to give her back the helm of the restaurant critic section she had thought up. “I actually quite… like you. You’re a very good lover after all.” He scoffed at her last words, but did not care to comment. “Not to mention that you’re a good friend.” She added thoughtfully. ‘Perhaps even my only friend. I’ve been spending all my energy on Shikon Magazine, which did not leave me with much of a social life. And at the magazine Sesshoumaru is the only one I talk to. He’s also the only person who knows me the best. I’ve told him things I have never said to anyone…’ Her last though brought her back to earlier in the evening when she had told him her secret. ‘He did not judge me, and even comforted me. I doubt anyone else would have been so understanding.’

Before she lost her nerve, Kagura raised her hand, and extended it to her lover. “Okay. I agree to this pact of yours. I don’t think I could do worse than you. Now let’s shake on it.”

“Do you doubt my word?” Sesshoumaru asked her. It had never occurred to him that she could refuse his proposition, so he was not surprised to see her agreeing. Not that he had appreciated the way in which she had phrased her agreement, nor her previous reluctance.

“I’m just trying to make it more formal and stuff. It’s not like I asked you to sign in your blood the bottom of a piece of paper…” She rolled her eyes. She knew that his pride was an important thing to him, and could not help but wonder if he had felt insulted by her doubts.

While she wondered if she should apologize, Sesshoumaru took a hold of her hand, and using it tugged her body towards his. Before Kagura had a chance to regain her bearings, the two of them had their lips fused together in a deep kiss. She reached up to bury her hands in his long silver hair, and he returned the gesture, eagerly gathering a fistful of her unbound dark tresses in his hand. Their tongues met in a sensual dance for a long time neither of the two lovers willing to let go of the embrace any time soon.

Sesshoumaru eventually albeit reluctantly released the hold he had on her hair, and broke their kiss. He looked down into her sparkling crimson eyes as he whispered. “Would that satisfy you as proof of our agreement?” A cocky grin briefly flashed on his lips when the young woman could only nod in agreement. She was after all still much affected by their lip lock.

“Good. Now let us leave. I can think of better things to do than staying at this pathetic office party.”

“I agree.” She answered her eyes shining with desire. “Since I don’t have any clean change of clothes at your place, let’s go to mine. I’ll let you sleepover, and won’t complain about your tendency to hog the blanket.” The young woman reached up to press a quick peck to the side of her lover’s lips.

“Witch, your concern for me is truly heartwarming.” He snorted. He knew full well that the reason Kagura preferred they not meet at his place was that doing so required for her to stop by her house to change and get ready in the morning since unlike him who had taken a full drawer in her closet, she only allowed herself to keep the bare minimum at his place. This was an issue for her as she loved sleeping in as late as possible, and having to drive back to her house made her lose what she considered valuable sleep time. Her laziness was the prime reason why their trysts mostly took place at her condo.

“Let us go before these drunken idiots notice we have not participated in the festivities.” Sesshoumaru said in reference to the other Shikon employees who were bound to have noticed he and Kagura had gone missing for so long.

“Ugh I had forgotten about them.” She was surprised to actually admit. “Give me a second to tie my hair then we can go.” The young woman reached for the hair band which almost never left her wrist to make use of it.

“Kagura, just let it be; it is fine just the way it is. You will save me time anyways because as soon as we arrive at your condo, it will come down again. In any case it looks better down.” Having stated his opinion, he walked towards the door joining the terrace to the lobby of their office, not even looking back to see if she was following him.

“You infuriating man!” She growled under her breath as she walked behind him. She did however do her best to mask the pleased smile gracing her lips; it was after all quite unusual for people to find her hair attractive.  Nor did she end up making use of the hair tie.



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To the relief of both Kagura and Sesshoumaru most of the Shikon employees were too busy socializing, eating and drinking on Naraku’s dime to notice the absence of the two co-editors. Only two people had actually paid attention to their two bosses. Touran did not bother saying anything as ever since Sesshoumaru had stood her up for dinner she contented herself with sending him nasty glares from a distance, which she was doing at the moment. The only other person who had paid attention to them was Kouga. The young journalist had noticed that both Kagura and Sesshoumaru were taking a little too long to come back to the party, so the second he saw them coming back, he did not waste any time walking towards the odd couple.

“Hey Kagura! Were you with him this whole time?” The tanned blue eyed man asked his ex. He took notice of the fact that Kagura’s lipstick was slightly smeared, and that her lips were puffy, clear signs that she had just been kissed. This caused an unusual feeling of anger to course through him. However since he dared not cause a scene in front of everyone, he simply decided to comment on something else which had surprised him. “What happened to your hair?”

Kagura, who was in a hurry to find herself back at her condo with Sesshoumaru, and preferably under her bed covers did not take kindly to Kouga interrupting them. Nor did she appreciate the incredulous look on his face at seeing her hair unbound. She knew that he had only seen it this way on very rare occasions, but seeing him act this surprised annoyed her.

“I fail to see how this is any of your business.” She replied dryly. “Come on Sesshoumaru, let’s go.”

The amber eyes man was surprised to see her toss Kouga away this unceremoniously, but found the sight amusing and quite refreshing.

“You’re leaving with him? I don’t know think that’s a good idea. You’ve been drinking…”

“Kouga.” Kagura interrupted him. “You’re not my dad, and you lost any misguided right you think you might have had on my person the second you put Ayame into your bed while still being committed to me. I can leave with whoever I want!”

As much as Sesshoumaru enjoyed seeing Kagura put Kouga back in his place, he did not wish for his lover to be a source of enjoyment for the other Shikon employees. “We have wasted enough time already. Kagura let’s go. I’ll drive you back to your condo.” The young woman averted her gaze from her ex to look at her present lover, and nodded in understanding.

“How do you know where she lives?” Kouga insisted. He was sure there was something going on between the two co-editors, but was not sure what exactly. ‘These two supposedly hate each other, but now they’re acting like the best friends in the world. Something is definitely going on, and I don’t like it.’ He refused to ponder on why exactly he was feeling so protective of Kagura when he had treated her so callously in the past

“Kouga?” Ayame’s hesitant voice came from behind the young man. She coiled herself around her husband’s arm, artfully pressing her slightly rounded stomach against him as a clear reminder of where his concern should be directed, and defiantly looked up at Sesshoumaru and Kagura. “Thank you for coming tonight to wish me and Kouga well. It means the world to us and our baby.”

“Yeah congratulations.” Kagura said, and found that the resentment she had felt earlier towards the much younger woman was not here. ‘Guess that talk I had with Sesshoumaru was therapeutic after all…’ She thought to herself. Now more than ever she wanted to be alone with her lover. “We were about to leave, so we’ll take off now. By the way Kouga, I’ll expect the article on the baseball league on my desk tomorrow as scheduled. Just because you’re about to be a dad doesn’t mean you get to slack off.” Sparing her former lover one last glance, Kagura headed towards the elevators.

Sesshoumaru allowed a small smile to appear on his lips. He had very much enjoyed the scene which had played in front of his eyes. Any doubt he may have had in the past about Kagura still having feelings for Kouga had been dashed, and he could not be happier.

‘It seems things are bound to get more interesting around here…’ He thought to himself as he followed after Kagura, not bothering to voice any parting words for Kouga or his wife.


To be continued…


A/N: So Kagura got everything off her chest (poor Kouga wasn’t expecting that), and our two fave co-editors have grown closer. Sesshoumaru is still not acting like himself… ah love. Next time we’ll see how their little pact will turn out, and there will be some ‘family drama’. I won’t tell you who I’m talking about though. The chapter will be named Classifieds.

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