InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Secret Lovers ❯ Letter to the Editor ( Chapter 16 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: saphira404 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.21.2012 | Updated On: 07.21.2012 | Pages: 3 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 304 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.21.2012 | Updated On: 07.21.2012 | Pages: 3 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 304 | Status: Work In Progress
Part 16: Letter to the Editor
A/N: Yes, I am still alive and writing. I am so ashamed to have made you wait so long for this chapter. To make up for it there will be much drama to be coming up now with some nightly unexpected visitors.
I would like to thank my dear reader/reviewer Octavia Brown for coming up with this title for the chapter. She suggested it a while back, but I just had to keep it for this particular installment in the story. I’m sure you’ll understand why very soon :)
Disclaimer: Sadly even though I love writing AU stories on my OTP, they don't belong to me. I tried to buy them, but all I could afford were plushies. Oh well better than nothing lol.
“Talking”
'Thoughts'
Sesshoumaru was taken by surprise by the loud ring of his doorbell. He put down his little notebook where Suon had written his confession, and took to his feet. As he walked down his corridor, as much as he hated it, he could not suppress the little part of him that wished to see the beloved crimson eyes of Kagura on the other side of his front door. He knew she was a proud woman, as proud as he was, and had no doubt she would not easily forget the harsh way in which he flung her words back in her face that morning. ‘Nor will she come apologizing and groveling at my feet…again.’ He may wish that Kagura was his late night visitor, but he doubted she would.
Curious to see who could come in knocking on his door at this time of the night, he did not waste time throwing the white painted wooden opened.
“Hello son, long time no see.”
Touga Tashio may be a mature man of almost 60 years old, but he still had excellent reflexes, so when his estranged son tried to shut the door of his apartment in his face, he was able to thwart Sesshoumaru’s attempt at blocking him.
“You will not get rid of me.” Touga assured his son as he pushed the door back. He was not about to give in easily after coming all the way here. Not to mention that he had an important mission to fulfill.
Sesshoumaru could see the strong determination burning in the golden eyes staring into his, and was certain Touga would use every ounce of his strength to hold on to the door. He knew that he was younger, taller and of course stronger physically, and would probably overthrow his father in the long run, but closing the door in Touga’s face would not prevent the older man from using other means to get his son’s attention. Sesshoumaru was willing to bet his father would not hesitate to resort to banging on the door until the wee hours of the morning, or ringing the bell incessantly to get him to open up his apartment to him. Of course Sesshoumaru could in return call the police on the old man, but the last thing he wanted was to finally give his noisy neighbors an insight into his very private life. He had been living in this building for close to five years, and had kept as big a distance between his neighbors and himself as possible; he did not even know their names, and that suited him just fine. As much as he hated it, the journalist knew he eventually would have to let go and give in to his father lest all his neighbors see an angry older version on himself bang on his door, which would be sure to draw too much attention; something he would hate.
‘Besides something tells me he didn’t track me down to come all the way here after eighteen years for no reason… Kagura better not be involved with this.’ He swore under his breath thinking about the disastrous impromptu dinner party of last weekend. He pushed all thoughts of his troublesome lover out of his mind, and thought about the present situation he was stuck in.
‘Letting my dear old dad come in wouldn’t be harmful; it will be like the good old days. After all, while I was living with him and his wife, I was able to ignore him completely.’ He easily recalled the four years he had spent under his father’s roof. During that time he had poured himself in his studies steadily ignoring Touga, Izayoi and baby Inuyasha. His only goal had been to graduate high school as quickly as possible in order to go to college, and escape from his father’s house.
Having made up his mind Sesshoumaru reluctantly and as unexpectedly as possible let go of the door, and took a step back. His unexpected action caused Touga to stumble forward; once again his quick reflexes saved him by allowing him to hold on to the door jamb before he fell forward on his face. Even if his bored facial expression did not change, the younger Tashio took a measure of satisfaction at seeing the older man’s ridiculous display. When it came to Touga, as embarrassing as the situation was, he did not let himself be affected; he had come on much more serious business.
“Now that you have had a good laugh at my expense, won’t you let me come in? We wouldn’t want your neighbors to wonder why you let your dear old dad standing on your doorstep.” His father’s reminder of what others will think annoyed Sesshoumaru, but at the same time prompted him to completely step aside to let the older man in.
Touga wasted no time moving forward lest his son changed his mind. He advanced in the apartment’s main corridor until he came upon the living room. With a critical eye he assessed his son’s living quarters. He also searched for hints of a feminine touch. Ever since Kagome had mentioned Kagura’s name, Touga was curious to find out how involved his son was with the woman, and was looking for proof that the two of them lived together. The reports he had been given on his son had informed him that the apartment had been paid for in full by Sesshoumaru only a year after he had moved in, but could not account for the younger man’s taste and preferences when it came to living accommodations or his love life. There was so much he wanted to know about his first born, but knew this was not a social call.
‘I did not stop by to satisfy my curiosity, I have a serious reason for coming today.’ After feasting his eyes, Touga finally turned to face his son, and addressed the reason for his presence that night. “I heard you have made contact with your brother.”
The casually spoken words made Sesshoumaru stiffen. “Things occurred the other way around. I can assure you I have no interest in your son... Is this the reason for this late night visit? Did you fear I would tell Inuyasha the truth about his parents, and corrupt the mind of your precious heir?”
Touga felt as if Sesshoumaru had slapped him; he had not expected such a hostile response from the get go. He had known that his first meeting with Sesshoumaru in sixteen years would not go easily, but he had not expected to hear him spit such bitter words. “As my will states, I have two heirs, who will equally inherit from me upon my death.” He grimly responded. His words infuriated his eldest son.
“Do you think I have any need or interest in your money?”
“Interest, I don’t know.” Touga’s golden eyes once more roamed around the sparsely furnished apartment; it was eons away from his lavishly furnished mansion, which Sesshoumaru had willingly left almost two decades earlier. “Need, definitely.”
Sesshoumaru refused to rise to the bait. ‘If I don’t get into an argument to him, I will get rid of him sooner.’ “Why are you here? We’ve established that I did not contact Inuyasha, nor have any designs on your son or your damn money.”
Touga could see that Sesshoumaru was getting very upset, and decided to lay all his cards on the table. “I received an interesting visit at my office today…”
While his father started explaining himself, Sesshoumaru was having thoughts of his own. ‘If Kagura’s name comes out of his mouth next, I might just commit murder.’ It was one thing for her to try to patch things up with his brother, but quite another to get his much hated father involved.
“Inuyasha’s girlfriend, I believe you know her, Kagome Higurashi, stopped by to my office this afternoon. We had an interesting discussion about the recent attempts of reconciliation between you and your brother.”
“Half brother.” Sesshoumaru automatically corrected.
Touga let out another exasperated sigh before relenting. “Fine your half brother… it seems negotiations have hit a snag.”
“Did you seriously come all the way here just for this? I told you that there is no reason for you to worry. This Sesshoumaru has no intention of making up with Inuyasha.” The younger man then headed towards the entryway, and opened his front door as widely as possible. “There, you can leave now.”
“Sesshoumaru, stop being overdramatic, and close this door.” His derisive tone made his son glare at him from across the corridor. “You are letting the cold air in, not to mention that you may not realize it, but we do have things to settle.”
“I have not had anything to say to you for the past eighteen years, nor do I intend to see this change anytime soon.” From the corner of his eye, Sesshoumaru could see the ever curious manager of his apartment complex look up from the garden below where he was watering some plants. His big beady eyes were shinning with glee at the idea of finally having something to report to the other gossip mongers about the ever mysterious Sesshoumaru Tashio. The journalist cursed under his breath. ‘Once again my dear old dad had to mess something up for me. There goes my privacy! Those damn noisy neighbors won’t let me be now.’
“This is something I should have addressed years ago.” Touga’s words distracted Sesshoumaru from thoughts about his neighbors. “When you came to live with me all these years ago, I refused to talk about it for fear of causing additional unnecessary pain, but I see now how much of a disservice that did to you. We should have talked about…your mother’s death.”
“Get out!” Sesshoumaru said on as calm a voice as he could muster. He had had enough, and this time if his father did not intend to live quietly, he would not hesitate to throw him out. Mindless discussions about Inuyasha were bearable, but that his father would dare even mention his mother was more than he could tolerate.
“Listen son, I know it’s not something you wish to discuss, but…”
“Do not make me ask you twice.”
“Damnit Sesshoumaru, this is important. You can’t keep on blaming your brother for something that has nothing to do with him. He did not in any way cause Ayaka’s death. You shouldn’t blame him for it.” The words had barely been out of Touga’s mouth that his son slammed the front door shut. He walked slowly towards his sire, rage bubbling inside his veins.
Sesshoumaru felt as if his heart had been stabbed. He had told one person, and one person only, how he felt about Inuyasha’s involvement in his mother’s death. Even as a sense of betrayal came over him, he still had a hard time believing that Kagura could be disloyal to him, and so callously reveal one of his deepest darkest secrets to none other than Touga.
“Who told you?!”
“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change how…”
“Who?” Sesshoumaru’s angry voice registered through to his father.
“Kagome.” Touga finally admitted. “I guess she heard it from your girlfriend.”
‘She and Kagura have been thick as thieves lately.’ He once again thought about the failed dinner party of the previous weekend. ‘They keep scheming together at my expense, and I have had enough.’
“How I came about the information doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how you feel. If you want to blame someone, then blame me. Don’t get your brother involved in this whole situation.” Touga took a cautious step towards his firstborn. He took as a good sign the fact that Sesshoumaru had closed the door as it showed he was willing to talk. “I admit that I feel guilty about what happened with your mother.”
“Guilty? What an understatement.” Sesshoumaru scoffed, completely non-amused. “You humiliated mother, and betrayed her when she needed you the most. What kind of husband does that?” He hated that he sounded like a needy teenager all over again. He had spent the past decades standing strong on his own two feet, and trying to push all thoughts of his father and his family as far away from his mind as possible, but lately he had had everything thrown back in his face unexpectedly.
“I agree that I have many faults, and was not the best of husbands to your mother, but one thing I know for sure is that Ayaka never needed anyone.” The mocking snort which escaped Touga’s lips annoyed Sesshoumaru more than anything.
‘How dare he take things so lightly after what he pushed her to do?! The younger Tashio man clenched his hand in a tight fist. Before he could help himself, he revealed much more than he had ever planned nor anticipated. “Yes, it’s true, you are the only one to blame. You caused her death.” He snarled angrily. “If it weren’t for you, mother would never have committed suicide.”
Sesshoumaru’s words caused Touga’s heart to skip a beat. Of all the things he expected behind Sesshoumaru’s reasoning about the cause of his mother’s death, this had to be the last one. “Good God! Suicide? Where in the hell did you get this idea? Your mother was killed in an accident…” ‘How could he have thought for so long that Ayaka committed suicide? No wonder he carries around so much anger and hatred…’ Touga felt his heart clench in sadness.
“Accident” The son echoed bitterly. “Mother was an excellent and cautious driver. You would have me believe that she conveniently drove her car into a tree only weeks after your divorce to your mistress was finalized?!”
“Sesshoumaru, you have it all wrong. Yes, she was a good driver, but it had been raining, it was nighttime and the roads were slippery. Anyone could have missed this sharp turn…Your mother did not commit suicide; I can assure you of that… Did she hate what I did to her, of course, but this could never have pushed her to commit such a desperate act… Ayaka was a strong woman, she would have weathered the storm of humiliation, and I can assure you that our marriage wasn’t one of grand passion the loss of which would have caused her insurmountable pain.”
Touga could see the doubt displayed on his son’s face. ‘He spent the last three decades thinking his mother hadn’t been victim to a simple accident, and a few words won’t just change that… Maybe he needs to get proof from Ayaka herself.’ At that precise moment he felt ‘its’ uncomfortable weight in his pocket. He had retrieved it from his safe earlier in the afternoon, with the intention of sharing it with his son only if the need would arise. ‘It seems to me that Sesshoumaru could definitely use it.’
Sesshoumaru was confused by his father’s words. Having the thoughts he had carried for so long in regards to his mother’s death being challenged was not an easy idea for him to swallow. He was therefore not about to just take his father’s word for it, and would question everything Touga would tell him. He was even more confused by what his father did next.
The older man buried his hand in his pocket, and retrieved a folded over piece of paper, which had spent the past thirty odd years locked up and away from prying eyes.
“I would like for you to read this.” He extended the yellow tinged paper to his oldest son.
“What is this?” Sesshoumaru asked even as he took the piece of paper his father was extending towards. Something told him this was the real reason behind Touga’s impromptu visit.
“The last letter you mother ever wrote to me.”
His words caused a funny and uncomfortable feeling to course through Sesshoumaru. Even if he hated it, he could not prevent his fingers from trembling when he unfolded the paper. He could tell at once that the missive was indeed from his mother. He recognized her perfectly neat handwriting, and as he scanned to the bottom of the page, his heart skipped a beat. The reason for his shock was the date written under his mother’s familiar signature. The letter was dated back a few weeks before her death.
‘This could hold all the answers to the questions I’ve had for so long.’
Touga observed in silence the play of emotions on his son’s face. They ranged from disbelief to anger, and if he was not mistaken even fear. As much as he wanted to push him along to read the letter, he knew how much of a shock the situation had to be to his son, and he would have no choice but let him take as much time as it took for him to digest all this new information.
Sesshoumaru forced his golden eyes higher up on the page, and after taking a deep breath decided to finally read the words his mother had written three decades ago.
“Dear Tashio,”
‘I forgot mother always called father by his last name.’ Sesshoumaru interrupted his reading to reflect. ‘Funny how little details like these can slip through your mind overtime.’ He got his mind out of the gutter and continued reading.
“It is such a pleasure to write to you while not being your wife anymore.”
Sesshoumaru was surprised by his mother’s opening. He raised his eyes from the paper to look up to his father in shock. “What is the meaning of this?”
Touga sighed before answering even if he was more than happy to do so. “Please keep on reading. I will answer any questions you may have afterwards.” ‘As painful as providing an answer might be to me.’ He was ashamed of some of the things he did in his life; especially where his late ex-wife was concerned, and he was sure that some of the things he did would hurt his eldest son tremendously. ‘However I will stay as honest as I can.’
“I will say this once, without the intent to say it once again: have your horrendous lawyer stop trying to get me to sign more of those damn confidentiality agreement papers. I do not intend to reveal any secrets about what happened during the time we were married. Not only would this not serve me in any way, but my silence has also been assured with the very generous settlement we agreed upon. It will allow me to keep Sesshoumaru fitted in the style deserving of a boy of his rank as well as keep myself living in the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed to.
It may come as a surprise to you, but I do wish you and your future wife my best as I know firsthand you are not an easy man to be married to. I am not blind, and do realize that I too also have some faults, and am in some way responsible for our failed union. In truth had it not been for the pressure of our families, I am certain we would have realized before we were joined that we were completely unsuited. In a way things seem to have worked themselves out in the best way for the two of us.
For years I have wanted to enjoy all the privileges of being Mrs. Tashio without having to subject myself to the obligations related to the title. This present state of affairs therefore works in my advantage as well. Of course the fact that everyone sees me as a superior and forgiving person for agreeing to hasten the divorce proceedings because of your present delicate situation is not a bad thing either. I do enjoy being hailed as a true saint; it makes up for the nasty mocking words of some ignorant people who had dared speak against me. They of course are now begging to be invited to my divorce party. I am beyond excited that Kanya has agreed to design the festivities; she did an amazing work at our wedding, so it seemed only natural to rely on her for my divorce party as well. I have yet to set the date, or send out invitations, but it is already anticipated to be the event of the season. I hope Izayoi won’t be too disappointed that my celebration will tromp your future wedding ceremony.
In truth Tashio, I have never hated you as I am sure you must believe, nor have I ever wished you ill. You have just left me mostly indifferent during our entire marriage. I have never loved you, but in truth I have simply never been able to love anyone, so I am sure the fault doesn’t lie entirely with you. I can only hope that she will be able to make you happy. This is all I can hope for you as I have been able to find a happiness of my own. This whole cancer incident has taught me that life is short. Now that I have a clean bill of health, I do intend to make the most out of my life and to enjoy myself. The divorce settlement will go a long way towards helping me to follow my new found direction.
When you stop by Friday after next, you can expect Sesshoumaru to be ready and packed. I appreciate you agreeing to take him away for the weekend so I can attend Hiruka’s house party. You know I would never miss out on her yearly event; I would simply hate to be kept out of the latest gossip. Enough rambling for today, I have to start packing up for the retreat. It may still be some time away, but you know how long it takes me to get ready.
Yours always,
Mrs. Ayaka Tashio
It was not often that Sesshoumaru was rendered speechless, but such was the only emotion he could feel at the moment. For most of his life he had seen his mother as a poor creature being shattered by her cancer then desperately pushed to the brink by her husband’s betrayal. The woman whose words he had just read was a complete opposite to the idea he had made himself of her. Through her writing Ayaka came out as a strong woman who seemed to have been unfazed by the end of her marriage. She was more than satisfied with the present situation, a clear opposite to the state of mind he had imagined his mother had to have been in when she had driven her car into a tree. A part of him wanted to believe that Ayaka had lied to her husband in her letter; she was after all a proud woman, and he liked to believe that she may have decided to hide her pain behind condescending words. However he did remember that Ayaka Tashio had always been a social butterfly who enjoyed socializing in high society events such as the yearly house party she had mentioned in her letter.
Suddenly as if he had been stricken by a bolt of lightning, Sesshoumaru recalled another detail about the last weeks of his mother’s life. ‘I now remember how excited she was about the house party. She had even gone shopping just for the occasion.’ At the time he had believed that Ayaka was just putting on a brave face to spare his feelings, but it was now clear to him that what he had thought he had seen with his 14 year old eyes was far from the truth.
Something else then occurred to him, and even if he was annoyed he felt this way, and even if he would never admit it aloud, the younger of the two Tashio could not help but be hurt that his mother had not named him as a positive outcome of her union with Touga. ‘It seems as though the only benefit she saw of their marriage was her financial gain and her elevated social status.’
As if Touga could read his son’s mind, he broke the heavy silence. “Sesshoumaru, I recognize how difficult all of this must be for you; especially after you spent all these years thinking your mother had killed herself…” He had to take a brief pause as he still had a hard time believing his son could have lived with such a burden for so long. ‘It’s really no surprise he hates me so much. I just hope it’s not too late to salvage his opinion of our family.’ As much as he wanted to make up with his oldest child, he did not forget that he also had to encourage the attempts at reconciliation engineered by Kagura and Kagome. “Son, I can assure you that your mother was happy, relieved even, when we got a divorce.”
“I…”
“Please let me finish. As you might have figured it out by now, our divorce was a long time coming. A part of me is embarrassed to even admit this to you, but I don’t have much to lose at this point… The truth is that the two of us never wanted to be married; we only did as our parents asked of us, and you ended up paying the price. I am just a man, and your mother was a beautiful woman, so at first things worked out...” He took another, longer, pause before finally speaking. “However as soon as you were born, Ayaka let me know that she did not want to be…associated with me expect on paper and in the public eye.”
“Is that why you decided to sleep with every woman you came across?” Sesshoumaru’s harsh words caused his father to flinch. Touga knew there was truth behind the statement, but it still hurt him.
“I know what I did was wrong, and all I can say to excuse my behavior is that I was a very young man at the time; almost 15 years younger than you are now.” Touga’s latest remark earned him a glare from his son. “Look, I’m not trying to explain my behavior, but in plain words, your mother banned me from her bed the second she found out she was pregnant with you, so yes, I did find solace in the arms of other women, and I am not proud of that. However it may shock you or disgust you, but this arrangement worked for both me and Ayaka. She was my public wife, and I showered her with gifts, probably to assuage my guilt. We could have kept on living this way indefinitely, but after twelve years of marriage…”
“You met Izayoi.” Sesshoumaru said his bitterness coming through in his voice. The way his father’ entire face lit up at the mere mention of his present wife’s name enraged him. ‘He has not looked this happy the whole time we were talking about mother.’
Touga noticed his son’s annoyance, and quickly spoke again in the hopes of pacifying him. “Of course Ayaka was not ecstatic at the idea of her husband being in love with another woman. I think that she didn’t care about the other affairs I had had since my feelings were never involved. She knew I would always end things with the others, and come back to her… but with Izayoi it was different. I tried to resist, and so did Izayoi, but our feelings were too strong... In the end we worked out a system between the three of us. I would divide my week between Ayaka and Izayoi’s houses, and of course accompanied your mother to any social event on her calendar. I also always attended any of your school functions.” He interrupted to send his son a smile, which was not returned. “All in all it all went smoothly for over a year. Of course when Inuyasha decided to make a surprise appearance, everything changed.”
Sesshoumaru found himself stunned once again in less than a half hour. Even as a youth of twelve, the age he was when his father met Izayoi, he knew that his parent’s did not have a loving traditional marriage. Most of the parents of his classmates at his elitist school had not done a love match either, so growing up he did not have a frame of reference as to what a true loving marriage was supposed to be. Even then he still had a feeling that his parents’ marriage was unlike the ones of the other parents at school. For one thing Touga and Ayaka barely spent any time together. He knew there was something unusual, but he had never expected such a sordid love triangle had been taking place right under his nose.
“So, you left your cancer-stricken wife for your pregnant mistress.”
“Your mother only told me about her breast cancer diagnosis after I told her about the baby, and announced to her that I would be leaving her for Izayoi… she had already been undergoing treatment at the time.” He decided not to reveal to Sesshoumaru how Ayaka had at first been enraged that he and Izayoi had not been more careful. She had berated him and insulted him. During her long rant she had even gone as far as demand that Izayoi get rid of the child. He had then put his foot down, and assured her that his mistress would be giving birth to his second child, and they would raise it, whether she liked it or not. This was when she had thrown in his face her cancer diagnosis, and that she had started treatment a month ago. He had been stunned, saddened and frightened by her sudden reveal, but he had not budged. He loved Izayoi, and the little life she carried would need him more than anything and anyone.
Touga forced himself out of his thoughts. He had done his best to forget that ugly episode, and would not tarnish Ayaka’s memory in the eyes of her son. Another reason why he decided to stay silent was that a part of him feared Sesshoumaru would agree with her angry thoughts.
“You need to understand that it was not an easy decision to make. I had to choose between love and duty, and I chose my heart. I am sorry if this choice has hurt you so badly, but know that it was never my intention. You may not believe this, but I love both you and Inuyasha.”
Sesshoumaru chose to simply ignore his father’s sudden declaration. He had been given so much to think about when it came to his mother and her relationship with Touga that he knew he would need a few minutes to process all this.
‘To think that the proud Ayaka Tashio would agree to such an agreement is mind boggling to me. I can’t believe she was so genuinely okay with their little arrangement. I never realized she had so little feelings for father. I knew theirs was not a grand love story, but in her letter she made their marriage sound so sold and calculated. She did not even seem to care that he had left us for another woman. He reflected back on the missive he had read earlier. He felt as if had gained some insight in his mother’s true feelings. To him her letter and the ensuing discussion he had had with his father had opened a door to his mother’s heart, and what he had seen there was most unexpected.
‘Damn I need a drink.’ He thought to himself even as deep down it occurred to him that what he really needed was someone to talk to, someone he could unload all these confusing ideas, and someone who could help him make sense of all these new findings. He definitely had no intention of talking to his father, and in truth there was only one person he wanted to see at the moment: Kagura. He decided not to dwell on that either as his feelings towards his co-worker were not in any way less complicated.
“Sesshoumaru, I know I haven’t been much of a father to you, but if you ever decide to listen to me at some point in your life, please listen now. You may not want to admit it to yourself, but you are suffering.”
“You don’t know anything!” His son interrupted him with an angry roar.
Touga let out a humorless chuckle. “I know I am just an old man who wishes he could have a better relationship with his son, but I do know a thing or two. One of them is you can't keep running. At some point you will have to face these emotions. You are now a grown man of almost forty years old, not a confused teenager. I let you run and drift away from the family when you were eighteen, and this was the biggest mistake of my life. I now understand why you decided to stay away.” A shiver ran down his spine when he thought back to Sesshoumaru’s belief that his adultery had pushed Ayaka to commit suicide. “This family has been apart for too long, and it’s time for us to mend things. You still bear our name, so something tells me it’s not too late, and you still care. So please Sesshoumaru give us a chance. ”
To his annoyance Sesshoumaru found himself speechless once again. Never in his life had he ever anticipated that he would in the space of just a week share dinner with his younger half brother and receive an apology from his father. He found himself in a much hated position; he who always was sure how to proceed was having a hard time dealing with all of this. One thing he was sure of was that he was not ready to forgive and forget; at least not at the present moment.
Sesshoumaru took a deep breath, and turned away from his father to look towards the corridor leading to the front door of his apartment. “Now that you have said your piece, I think you should leave.”
“I know I dropped quite a few bombshells on you, and you of course will need time to process all I told you.” Touga acknowledged his son’s request with a small sad smile. “You can keep your mother’s letter as I am sure it will be of more use to you than to me… Son, if you have any questions, you know how to get in touch with me.” Even if he wished that Sesshoumaru would agree to a more in depth conversation, so that they could squash the past and come to a functional relationship.
‘I shouldn’t be so impatient. We have made a step in the right direction, but I know we will need much more time and conversation before the wounds of the past are healed. Now that I know this estrangement was caused because of a false assumption on Sesshoumaru’s part, I know we can move forward.’ Touga was still shocked that his son could have hated him so much because of such a ludicrous mistake.
“I will do as you ask, and leave for now, but you can be sure this isn’t the last you will see of me. Now that I have hope for our family, I do not intent to leave things as they are.” With these cryptic words, the older of the two men headed towards the front door without being invited to do so once again.
Sesshoumaru was too stunned by his father’s hasty departure to even think of a retort. A part of him had thought he would have had to physically shove the old man out the door to get rid of him, so he had thought that he would have been relieved to see him leave so easily. Now that he was alone he could finally take a minute to pause and think about what had just happened to him. He felt as if a whirlwind had come over and swept him away, and he was left struggling and trying to hold on for the wild ride.
He looked down at the wrinkled, yellow tinged piece of paper he still held in his hand, and felt his heart clench. He could not keep all this knowledge to himself, and once again he was overcome by the urge to talk to someone about all he had just learned. Only one name rang through his mind at the moment, and before he knew it, he had picked up his jacket and set of keys, and was on the way out of his apartment.
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Files, documents and clipping were strewn all over the kitchen table of Kagura’s condo. The young woman was in sore need of a distraction because of the lack of resolution in her relationship with Sesshoumaru.
‘He barely talked to me…’ She recalled their run-in of that morning. At that precise moment, she wished she could give in and drink her pain away as she had done often enough after Kouga had dumped her, but even then Sesshoumaru’s disapproval towards alcohol stopped her. She could just picture his disgusted face at seeing her resort to such embarrassing mind altering means in order not to think of him.
‘That bastard really has more influence on me than I had thought. Damn jerk.’ The young woman then shook her head, and picked up the file her father had given her earlier. She decided then and there to just focus on work; it had always been a sure way for her to change her frame of mind.
She stood up and abruptly causing her nightgown to ride up her thighs. ‘The last time I wore it was when we went to the festival. This was the beginning of everything between us. If only I had known how painful it would turn out to be for me in the end…okay enough with the pity party, I need to stop thinking about him.’ She thought angrily as she smoothed down the silky red fabric. Kagura then sat behind her computer, and opened an internet window. After a few clicks and some typed words, she was had in front of her an abbreviated version of the biography of Kenta Suzuki, the man her father had asked her to write portrait for. ‘What could be hidden behind this smug smile? Just another political crook, or something more?’ She could not help but wonder. She did not like the mindless assignment Naraku had given her, but she was sure it was another one of his tests. ‘There has got to be something more behind his request for that piece, and I’m dying to find out what.’
Her curious thoughts about her next article were interrupted by her doorbell. Too surprised as to who would dare to visit her this late, she did not even think about putting something over the flimsy red babydoll she was wearing before going to answer the door.
It was Kagura’s turn to be stunned when she opened the door to her condo.
“Sesshoumaru?! What are you…”
She never had a chance to finish her question as her co-worker launched himself on her. Sesshoumaru eagerly buried his hand in her tied hair, and brought her face closer to his. In a matter of seconds the two lovers were sharing a passionate kiss. Kagura wrapped her arms around his neck eagerly linking them together. A little voice in the back of her head pointed out that she should push him away after the way he had coldly dismissed her earlier, and that she should ask for an explanation about his sudden radical change of attitude, but she could not. It simply felt too good.
As if finally remembering that they were standing on the threshold of Kagura’s condo, Sesshoumaru gently pushed her backwards, and the younger woman did not resist. Once they were safely inside, he took the opportunity to shut the front door with the help of his foot. It was only then that the two of them broke apart for some much needed air.
As she regained her breath, Kagura scanned her late night attacker, and was shocked to see how bedraggled the always meticulous Sesshoumaru looked. More than half of his shirt was not tucked in, and his usually crisp pants were wrinkled beyond repair.
‘That somehow reminds me of the night he waited for me when he thought I had gone out to dinner with another man…’ The thought of what had occurred that evening after Sesshoumaru had forced himself through her defense caused a shockwave of lust to go through her. Just as the young woman was about to question her lover about the reason behind his unexpected visit, Sesshoumaru leaned forward to bestow another kiss on her lips, and all thoughts fled her mind.
Sesshoumaru had personally come in to be able to share with someone everything he had just found out about his parents, and especially how wrong he had been on the circumstances of his mother’s death. There was only one person he could dare talk to about something so personal, and at that present moment, she was in his arms. He may have come to her condo in search of some soothing relief and an understanding ear, but at the present moment he was receiving all the comfort he might need. He had after all never been much of a talker, and he was certain this was the quickest way to make him feel better.
The two of them had been standing in the entryway of Kagura’s condo, sharing a passionate kiss for a while when he decided to move things along. When Sesshoumaru placed his hands around her hips and gently hoisted her up, Kagura did not hesitate to help him along by wrapping her legs around his waist. And when he started walking after gently securing her in his arms, she simply held on for the ride by lacing her arms around his neck all the while keeping their lips fastened together as best she could. She knew he was directing them towards her bedroom, and she did not even think about protesting.
To be continued…
A/N: I will try not to make you guys wait this long for the next one. I think the chapter will be names Developing Story… A huge thanks to all of you who have read, supported and reviewed my fanfictions over the years!
A/N: Yes, I am still alive and writing. I am so ashamed to have made you wait so long for this chapter. To make up for it there will be much drama to be coming up now with some nightly unexpected visitors.
I would like to thank my dear reader/reviewer Octavia Brown for coming up with this title for the chapter. She suggested it a while back, but I just had to keep it for this particular installment in the story. I’m sure you’ll understand why very soon :)
Disclaimer: Sadly even though I love writing AU stories on my OTP, they don't belong to me. I tried to buy them, but all I could afford were plushies. Oh well better than nothing lol.
“Talking”
'Thoughts'
Sesshoumaru was taken by surprise by the loud ring of his doorbell. He put down his little notebook where Suon had written his confession, and took to his feet. As he walked down his corridor, as much as he hated it, he could not suppress the little part of him that wished to see the beloved crimson eyes of Kagura on the other side of his front door. He knew she was a proud woman, as proud as he was, and had no doubt she would not easily forget the harsh way in which he flung her words back in her face that morning. ‘Nor will she come apologizing and groveling at my feet…again.’ He may wish that Kagura was his late night visitor, but he doubted she would.
Curious to see who could come in knocking on his door at this time of the night, he did not waste time throwing the white painted wooden opened.
“Hello son, long time no see.”
Touga Tashio may be a mature man of almost 60 years old, but he still had excellent reflexes, so when his estranged son tried to shut the door of his apartment in his face, he was able to thwart Sesshoumaru’s attempt at blocking him.
“You will not get rid of me.” Touga assured his son as he pushed the door back. He was not about to give in easily after coming all the way here. Not to mention that he had an important mission to fulfill.
Sesshoumaru could see the strong determination burning in the golden eyes staring into his, and was certain Touga would use every ounce of his strength to hold on to the door. He knew that he was younger, taller and of course stronger physically, and would probably overthrow his father in the long run, but closing the door in Touga’s face would not prevent the older man from using other means to get his son’s attention. Sesshoumaru was willing to bet his father would not hesitate to resort to banging on the door until the wee hours of the morning, or ringing the bell incessantly to get him to open up his apartment to him. Of course Sesshoumaru could in return call the police on the old man, but the last thing he wanted was to finally give his noisy neighbors an insight into his very private life. He had been living in this building for close to five years, and had kept as big a distance between his neighbors and himself as possible; he did not even know their names, and that suited him just fine. As much as he hated it, the journalist knew he eventually would have to let go and give in to his father lest all his neighbors see an angry older version on himself bang on his door, which would be sure to draw too much attention; something he would hate.
‘Besides something tells me he didn’t track me down to come all the way here after eighteen years for no reason… Kagura better not be involved with this.’ He swore under his breath thinking about the disastrous impromptu dinner party of last weekend. He pushed all thoughts of his troublesome lover out of his mind, and thought about the present situation he was stuck in.
‘Letting my dear old dad come in wouldn’t be harmful; it will be like the good old days. After all, while I was living with him and his wife, I was able to ignore him completely.’ He easily recalled the four years he had spent under his father’s roof. During that time he had poured himself in his studies steadily ignoring Touga, Izayoi and baby Inuyasha. His only goal had been to graduate high school as quickly as possible in order to go to college, and escape from his father’s house.
Having made up his mind Sesshoumaru reluctantly and as unexpectedly as possible let go of the door, and took a step back. His unexpected action caused Touga to stumble forward; once again his quick reflexes saved him by allowing him to hold on to the door jamb before he fell forward on his face. Even if his bored facial expression did not change, the younger Tashio took a measure of satisfaction at seeing the older man’s ridiculous display. When it came to Touga, as embarrassing as the situation was, he did not let himself be affected; he had come on much more serious business.
“Now that you have had a good laugh at my expense, won’t you let me come in? We wouldn’t want your neighbors to wonder why you let your dear old dad standing on your doorstep.” His father’s reminder of what others will think annoyed Sesshoumaru, but at the same time prompted him to completely step aside to let the older man in.
Touga wasted no time moving forward lest his son changed his mind. He advanced in the apartment’s main corridor until he came upon the living room. With a critical eye he assessed his son’s living quarters. He also searched for hints of a feminine touch. Ever since Kagome had mentioned Kagura’s name, Touga was curious to find out how involved his son was with the woman, and was looking for proof that the two of them lived together. The reports he had been given on his son had informed him that the apartment had been paid for in full by Sesshoumaru only a year after he had moved in, but could not account for the younger man’s taste and preferences when it came to living accommodations or his love life. There was so much he wanted to know about his first born, but knew this was not a social call.
‘I did not stop by to satisfy my curiosity, I have a serious reason for coming today.’ After feasting his eyes, Touga finally turned to face his son, and addressed the reason for his presence that night. “I heard you have made contact with your brother.”
The casually spoken words made Sesshoumaru stiffen. “Things occurred the other way around. I can assure you I have no interest in your son... Is this the reason for this late night visit? Did you fear I would tell Inuyasha the truth about his parents, and corrupt the mind of your precious heir?”
Touga felt as if Sesshoumaru had slapped him; he had not expected such a hostile response from the get go. He had known that his first meeting with Sesshoumaru in sixteen years would not go easily, but he had not expected to hear him spit such bitter words. “As my will states, I have two heirs, who will equally inherit from me upon my death.” He grimly responded. His words infuriated his eldest son.
“Do you think I have any need or interest in your money?”
“Interest, I don’t know.” Touga’s golden eyes once more roamed around the sparsely furnished apartment; it was eons away from his lavishly furnished mansion, which Sesshoumaru had willingly left almost two decades earlier. “Need, definitely.”
Sesshoumaru refused to rise to the bait. ‘If I don’t get into an argument to him, I will get rid of him sooner.’ “Why are you here? We’ve established that I did not contact Inuyasha, nor have any designs on your son or your damn money.”
Touga could see that Sesshoumaru was getting very upset, and decided to lay all his cards on the table. “I received an interesting visit at my office today…”
While his father started explaining himself, Sesshoumaru was having thoughts of his own. ‘If Kagura’s name comes out of his mouth next, I might just commit murder.’ It was one thing for her to try to patch things up with his brother, but quite another to get his much hated father involved.
“Inuyasha’s girlfriend, I believe you know her, Kagome Higurashi, stopped by to my office this afternoon. We had an interesting discussion about the recent attempts of reconciliation between you and your brother.”
“Half brother.” Sesshoumaru automatically corrected.
Touga let out another exasperated sigh before relenting. “Fine your half brother… it seems negotiations have hit a snag.”
“Did you seriously come all the way here just for this? I told you that there is no reason for you to worry. This Sesshoumaru has no intention of making up with Inuyasha.” The younger man then headed towards the entryway, and opened his front door as widely as possible. “There, you can leave now.”
“Sesshoumaru, stop being overdramatic, and close this door.” His derisive tone made his son glare at him from across the corridor. “You are letting the cold air in, not to mention that you may not realize it, but we do have things to settle.”
“I have not had anything to say to you for the past eighteen years, nor do I intend to see this change anytime soon.” From the corner of his eye, Sesshoumaru could see the ever curious manager of his apartment complex look up from the garden below where he was watering some plants. His big beady eyes were shinning with glee at the idea of finally having something to report to the other gossip mongers about the ever mysterious Sesshoumaru Tashio. The journalist cursed under his breath. ‘Once again my dear old dad had to mess something up for me. There goes my privacy! Those damn noisy neighbors won’t let me be now.’
“This is something I should have addressed years ago.” Touga’s words distracted Sesshoumaru from thoughts about his neighbors. “When you came to live with me all these years ago, I refused to talk about it for fear of causing additional unnecessary pain, but I see now how much of a disservice that did to you. We should have talked about…your mother’s death.”
“Get out!” Sesshoumaru said on as calm a voice as he could muster. He had had enough, and this time if his father did not intend to live quietly, he would not hesitate to throw him out. Mindless discussions about Inuyasha were bearable, but that his father would dare even mention his mother was more than he could tolerate.
“Listen son, I know it’s not something you wish to discuss, but…”
“Do not make me ask you twice.”
“Damnit Sesshoumaru, this is important. You can’t keep on blaming your brother for something that has nothing to do with him. He did not in any way cause Ayaka’s death. You shouldn’t blame him for it.” The words had barely been out of Touga’s mouth that his son slammed the front door shut. He walked slowly towards his sire, rage bubbling inside his veins.
Sesshoumaru felt as if his heart had been stabbed. He had told one person, and one person only, how he felt about Inuyasha’s involvement in his mother’s death. Even as a sense of betrayal came over him, he still had a hard time believing that Kagura could be disloyal to him, and so callously reveal one of his deepest darkest secrets to none other than Touga.
“Who told you?!”
“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change how…”
“Who?” Sesshoumaru’s angry voice registered through to his father.
“Kagome.” Touga finally admitted. “I guess she heard it from your girlfriend.”
‘She and Kagura have been thick as thieves lately.’ He once again thought about the failed dinner party of the previous weekend. ‘They keep scheming together at my expense, and I have had enough.’
“How I came about the information doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how you feel. If you want to blame someone, then blame me. Don’t get your brother involved in this whole situation.” Touga took a cautious step towards his firstborn. He took as a good sign the fact that Sesshoumaru had closed the door as it showed he was willing to talk. “I admit that I feel guilty about what happened with your mother.”
“Guilty? What an understatement.” Sesshoumaru scoffed, completely non-amused. “You humiliated mother, and betrayed her when she needed you the most. What kind of husband does that?” He hated that he sounded like a needy teenager all over again. He had spent the past decades standing strong on his own two feet, and trying to push all thoughts of his father and his family as far away from his mind as possible, but lately he had had everything thrown back in his face unexpectedly.
“I agree that I have many faults, and was not the best of husbands to your mother, but one thing I know for sure is that Ayaka never needed anyone.” The mocking snort which escaped Touga’s lips annoyed Sesshoumaru more than anything.
‘How dare he take things so lightly after what he pushed her to do?! The younger Tashio man clenched his hand in a tight fist. Before he could help himself, he revealed much more than he had ever planned nor anticipated. “Yes, it’s true, you are the only one to blame. You caused her death.” He snarled angrily. “If it weren’t for you, mother would never have committed suicide.”
Sesshoumaru’s words caused Touga’s heart to skip a beat. Of all the things he expected behind Sesshoumaru’s reasoning about the cause of his mother’s death, this had to be the last one. “Good God! Suicide? Where in the hell did you get this idea? Your mother was killed in an accident…” ‘How could he have thought for so long that Ayaka committed suicide? No wonder he carries around so much anger and hatred…’ Touga felt his heart clench in sadness.
“Accident” The son echoed bitterly. “Mother was an excellent and cautious driver. You would have me believe that she conveniently drove her car into a tree only weeks after your divorce to your mistress was finalized?!”
“Sesshoumaru, you have it all wrong. Yes, she was a good driver, but it had been raining, it was nighttime and the roads were slippery. Anyone could have missed this sharp turn…Your mother did not commit suicide; I can assure you of that… Did she hate what I did to her, of course, but this could never have pushed her to commit such a desperate act… Ayaka was a strong woman, she would have weathered the storm of humiliation, and I can assure you that our marriage wasn’t one of grand passion the loss of which would have caused her insurmountable pain.”
Touga could see the doubt displayed on his son’s face. ‘He spent the last three decades thinking his mother hadn’t been victim to a simple accident, and a few words won’t just change that… Maybe he needs to get proof from Ayaka herself.’ At that precise moment he felt ‘its’ uncomfortable weight in his pocket. He had retrieved it from his safe earlier in the afternoon, with the intention of sharing it with his son only if the need would arise. ‘It seems to me that Sesshoumaru could definitely use it.’
Sesshoumaru was confused by his father’s words. Having the thoughts he had carried for so long in regards to his mother’s death being challenged was not an easy idea for him to swallow. He was therefore not about to just take his father’s word for it, and would question everything Touga would tell him. He was even more confused by what his father did next.
The older man buried his hand in his pocket, and retrieved a folded over piece of paper, which had spent the past thirty odd years locked up and away from prying eyes.
“I would like for you to read this.” He extended the yellow tinged paper to his oldest son.
“What is this?” Sesshoumaru asked even as he took the piece of paper his father was extending towards. Something told him this was the real reason behind Touga’s impromptu visit.
“The last letter you mother ever wrote to me.”
His words caused a funny and uncomfortable feeling to course through Sesshoumaru. Even if he hated it, he could not prevent his fingers from trembling when he unfolded the paper. He could tell at once that the missive was indeed from his mother. He recognized her perfectly neat handwriting, and as he scanned to the bottom of the page, his heart skipped a beat. The reason for his shock was the date written under his mother’s familiar signature. The letter was dated back a few weeks before her death.
‘This could hold all the answers to the questions I’ve had for so long.’
Touga observed in silence the play of emotions on his son’s face. They ranged from disbelief to anger, and if he was not mistaken even fear. As much as he wanted to push him along to read the letter, he knew how much of a shock the situation had to be to his son, and he would have no choice but let him take as much time as it took for him to digest all this new information.
Sesshoumaru forced his golden eyes higher up on the page, and after taking a deep breath decided to finally read the words his mother had written three decades ago.
“Dear Tashio,”
‘I forgot mother always called father by his last name.’ Sesshoumaru interrupted his reading to reflect. ‘Funny how little details like these can slip through your mind overtime.’ He got his mind out of the gutter and continued reading.
“It is such a pleasure to write to you while not being your wife anymore.”
Sesshoumaru was surprised by his mother’s opening. He raised his eyes from the paper to look up to his father in shock. “What is the meaning of this?”
Touga sighed before answering even if he was more than happy to do so. “Please keep on reading. I will answer any questions you may have afterwards.” ‘As painful as providing an answer might be to me.’ He was ashamed of some of the things he did in his life; especially where his late ex-wife was concerned, and he was sure that some of the things he did would hurt his eldest son tremendously. ‘However I will stay as honest as I can.’
“I will say this once, without the intent to say it once again: have your horrendous lawyer stop trying to get me to sign more of those damn confidentiality agreement papers. I do not intend to reveal any secrets about what happened during the time we were married. Not only would this not serve me in any way, but my silence has also been assured with the very generous settlement we agreed upon. It will allow me to keep Sesshoumaru fitted in the style deserving of a boy of his rank as well as keep myself living in the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed to.
It may come as a surprise to you, but I do wish you and your future wife my best as I know firsthand you are not an easy man to be married to. I am not blind, and do realize that I too also have some faults, and am in some way responsible for our failed union. In truth had it not been for the pressure of our families, I am certain we would have realized before we were joined that we were completely unsuited. In a way things seem to have worked themselves out in the best way for the two of us.
For years I have wanted to enjoy all the privileges of being Mrs. Tashio without having to subject myself to the obligations related to the title. This present state of affairs therefore works in my advantage as well. Of course the fact that everyone sees me as a superior and forgiving person for agreeing to hasten the divorce proceedings because of your present delicate situation is not a bad thing either. I do enjoy being hailed as a true saint; it makes up for the nasty mocking words of some ignorant people who had dared speak against me. They of course are now begging to be invited to my divorce party. I am beyond excited that Kanya has agreed to design the festivities; she did an amazing work at our wedding, so it seemed only natural to rely on her for my divorce party as well. I have yet to set the date, or send out invitations, but it is already anticipated to be the event of the season. I hope Izayoi won’t be too disappointed that my celebration will tromp your future wedding ceremony.
In truth Tashio, I have never hated you as I am sure you must believe, nor have I ever wished you ill. You have just left me mostly indifferent during our entire marriage. I have never loved you, but in truth I have simply never been able to love anyone, so I am sure the fault doesn’t lie entirely with you. I can only hope that she will be able to make you happy. This is all I can hope for you as I have been able to find a happiness of my own. This whole cancer incident has taught me that life is short. Now that I have a clean bill of health, I do intend to make the most out of my life and to enjoy myself. The divorce settlement will go a long way towards helping me to follow my new found direction.
When you stop by Friday after next, you can expect Sesshoumaru to be ready and packed. I appreciate you agreeing to take him away for the weekend so I can attend Hiruka’s house party. You know I would never miss out on her yearly event; I would simply hate to be kept out of the latest gossip. Enough rambling for today, I have to start packing up for the retreat. It may still be some time away, but you know how long it takes me to get ready.
Yours always,
Mrs. Ayaka Tashio
It was not often that Sesshoumaru was rendered speechless, but such was the only emotion he could feel at the moment. For most of his life he had seen his mother as a poor creature being shattered by her cancer then desperately pushed to the brink by her husband’s betrayal. The woman whose words he had just read was a complete opposite to the idea he had made himself of her. Through her writing Ayaka came out as a strong woman who seemed to have been unfazed by the end of her marriage. She was more than satisfied with the present situation, a clear opposite to the state of mind he had imagined his mother had to have been in when she had driven her car into a tree. A part of him wanted to believe that Ayaka had lied to her husband in her letter; she was after all a proud woman, and he liked to believe that she may have decided to hide her pain behind condescending words. However he did remember that Ayaka Tashio had always been a social butterfly who enjoyed socializing in high society events such as the yearly house party she had mentioned in her letter.
Suddenly as if he had been stricken by a bolt of lightning, Sesshoumaru recalled another detail about the last weeks of his mother’s life. ‘I now remember how excited she was about the house party. She had even gone shopping just for the occasion.’ At the time he had believed that Ayaka was just putting on a brave face to spare his feelings, but it was now clear to him that what he had thought he had seen with his 14 year old eyes was far from the truth.
Something else then occurred to him, and even if he was annoyed he felt this way, and even if he would never admit it aloud, the younger of the two Tashio could not help but be hurt that his mother had not named him as a positive outcome of her union with Touga. ‘It seems as though the only benefit she saw of their marriage was her financial gain and her elevated social status.’
As if Touga could read his son’s mind, he broke the heavy silence. “Sesshoumaru, I recognize how difficult all of this must be for you; especially after you spent all these years thinking your mother had killed herself…” He had to take a brief pause as he still had a hard time believing his son could have lived with such a burden for so long. ‘It’s really no surprise he hates me so much. I just hope it’s not too late to salvage his opinion of our family.’ As much as he wanted to make up with his oldest child, he did not forget that he also had to encourage the attempts at reconciliation engineered by Kagura and Kagome. “Son, I can assure you that your mother was happy, relieved even, when we got a divorce.”
“I…”
“Please let me finish. As you might have figured it out by now, our divorce was a long time coming. A part of me is embarrassed to even admit this to you, but I don’t have much to lose at this point… The truth is that the two of us never wanted to be married; we only did as our parents asked of us, and you ended up paying the price. I am just a man, and your mother was a beautiful woman, so at first things worked out...” He took another, longer, pause before finally speaking. “However as soon as you were born, Ayaka let me know that she did not want to be…associated with me expect on paper and in the public eye.”
“Is that why you decided to sleep with every woman you came across?” Sesshoumaru’s harsh words caused his father to flinch. Touga knew there was truth behind the statement, but it still hurt him.
“I know what I did was wrong, and all I can say to excuse my behavior is that I was a very young man at the time; almost 15 years younger than you are now.” Touga’s latest remark earned him a glare from his son. “Look, I’m not trying to explain my behavior, but in plain words, your mother banned me from her bed the second she found out she was pregnant with you, so yes, I did find solace in the arms of other women, and I am not proud of that. However it may shock you or disgust you, but this arrangement worked for both me and Ayaka. She was my public wife, and I showered her with gifts, probably to assuage my guilt. We could have kept on living this way indefinitely, but after twelve years of marriage…”
“You met Izayoi.” Sesshoumaru said his bitterness coming through in his voice. The way his father’ entire face lit up at the mere mention of his present wife’s name enraged him. ‘He has not looked this happy the whole time we were talking about mother.’
Touga noticed his son’s annoyance, and quickly spoke again in the hopes of pacifying him. “Of course Ayaka was not ecstatic at the idea of her husband being in love with another woman. I think that she didn’t care about the other affairs I had had since my feelings were never involved. She knew I would always end things with the others, and come back to her… but with Izayoi it was different. I tried to resist, and so did Izayoi, but our feelings were too strong... In the end we worked out a system between the three of us. I would divide my week between Ayaka and Izayoi’s houses, and of course accompanied your mother to any social event on her calendar. I also always attended any of your school functions.” He interrupted to send his son a smile, which was not returned. “All in all it all went smoothly for over a year. Of course when Inuyasha decided to make a surprise appearance, everything changed.”
Sesshoumaru found himself stunned once again in less than a half hour. Even as a youth of twelve, the age he was when his father met Izayoi, he knew that his parent’s did not have a loving traditional marriage. Most of the parents of his classmates at his elitist school had not done a love match either, so growing up he did not have a frame of reference as to what a true loving marriage was supposed to be. Even then he still had a feeling that his parents’ marriage was unlike the ones of the other parents at school. For one thing Touga and Ayaka barely spent any time together. He knew there was something unusual, but he had never expected such a sordid love triangle had been taking place right under his nose.
“So, you left your cancer-stricken wife for your pregnant mistress.”
“Your mother only told me about her breast cancer diagnosis after I told her about the baby, and announced to her that I would be leaving her for Izayoi… she had already been undergoing treatment at the time.” He decided not to reveal to Sesshoumaru how Ayaka had at first been enraged that he and Izayoi had not been more careful. She had berated him and insulted him. During her long rant she had even gone as far as demand that Izayoi get rid of the child. He had then put his foot down, and assured her that his mistress would be giving birth to his second child, and they would raise it, whether she liked it or not. This was when she had thrown in his face her cancer diagnosis, and that she had started treatment a month ago. He had been stunned, saddened and frightened by her sudden reveal, but he had not budged. He loved Izayoi, and the little life she carried would need him more than anything and anyone.
Touga forced himself out of his thoughts. He had done his best to forget that ugly episode, and would not tarnish Ayaka’s memory in the eyes of her son. Another reason why he decided to stay silent was that a part of him feared Sesshoumaru would agree with her angry thoughts.
“You need to understand that it was not an easy decision to make. I had to choose between love and duty, and I chose my heart. I am sorry if this choice has hurt you so badly, but know that it was never my intention. You may not believe this, but I love both you and Inuyasha.”
Sesshoumaru chose to simply ignore his father’s sudden declaration. He had been given so much to think about when it came to his mother and her relationship with Touga that he knew he would need a few minutes to process all this.
‘To think that the proud Ayaka Tashio would agree to such an agreement is mind boggling to me. I can’t believe she was so genuinely okay with their little arrangement. I never realized she had so little feelings for father. I knew theirs was not a grand love story, but in her letter she made their marriage sound so sold and calculated. She did not even seem to care that he had left us for another woman. He reflected back on the missive he had read earlier. He felt as if had gained some insight in his mother’s true feelings. To him her letter and the ensuing discussion he had had with his father had opened a door to his mother’s heart, and what he had seen there was most unexpected.
‘Damn I need a drink.’ He thought to himself even as deep down it occurred to him that what he really needed was someone to talk to, someone he could unload all these confusing ideas, and someone who could help him make sense of all these new findings. He definitely had no intention of talking to his father, and in truth there was only one person he wanted to see at the moment: Kagura. He decided not to dwell on that either as his feelings towards his co-worker were not in any way less complicated.
“Sesshoumaru, I know I haven’t been much of a father to you, but if you ever decide to listen to me at some point in your life, please listen now. You may not want to admit it to yourself, but you are suffering.”
“You don’t know anything!” His son interrupted him with an angry roar.
Touga let out a humorless chuckle. “I know I am just an old man who wishes he could have a better relationship with his son, but I do know a thing or two. One of them is you can't keep running. At some point you will have to face these emotions. You are now a grown man of almost forty years old, not a confused teenager. I let you run and drift away from the family when you were eighteen, and this was the biggest mistake of my life. I now understand why you decided to stay away.” A shiver ran down his spine when he thought back to Sesshoumaru’s belief that his adultery had pushed Ayaka to commit suicide. “This family has been apart for too long, and it’s time for us to mend things. You still bear our name, so something tells me it’s not too late, and you still care. So please Sesshoumaru give us a chance. ”
To his annoyance Sesshoumaru found himself speechless once again. Never in his life had he ever anticipated that he would in the space of just a week share dinner with his younger half brother and receive an apology from his father. He found himself in a much hated position; he who always was sure how to proceed was having a hard time dealing with all of this. One thing he was sure of was that he was not ready to forgive and forget; at least not at the present moment.
Sesshoumaru took a deep breath, and turned away from his father to look towards the corridor leading to the front door of his apartment. “Now that you have said your piece, I think you should leave.”
“I know I dropped quite a few bombshells on you, and you of course will need time to process all I told you.” Touga acknowledged his son’s request with a small sad smile. “You can keep your mother’s letter as I am sure it will be of more use to you than to me… Son, if you have any questions, you know how to get in touch with me.” Even if he wished that Sesshoumaru would agree to a more in depth conversation, so that they could squash the past and come to a functional relationship.
‘I shouldn’t be so impatient. We have made a step in the right direction, but I know we will need much more time and conversation before the wounds of the past are healed. Now that I know this estrangement was caused because of a false assumption on Sesshoumaru’s part, I know we can move forward.’ Touga was still shocked that his son could have hated him so much because of such a ludicrous mistake.
“I will do as you ask, and leave for now, but you can be sure this isn’t the last you will see of me. Now that I have hope for our family, I do not intent to leave things as they are.” With these cryptic words, the older of the two men headed towards the front door without being invited to do so once again.
Sesshoumaru was too stunned by his father’s hasty departure to even think of a retort. A part of him had thought he would have had to physically shove the old man out the door to get rid of him, so he had thought that he would have been relieved to see him leave so easily. Now that he was alone he could finally take a minute to pause and think about what had just happened to him. He felt as if a whirlwind had come over and swept him away, and he was left struggling and trying to hold on for the wild ride.
He looked down at the wrinkled, yellow tinged piece of paper he still held in his hand, and felt his heart clench. He could not keep all this knowledge to himself, and once again he was overcome by the urge to talk to someone about all he had just learned. Only one name rang through his mind at the moment, and before he knew it, he had picked up his jacket and set of keys, and was on the way out of his apartment.
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Files, documents and clipping were strewn all over the kitchen table of Kagura’s condo. The young woman was in sore need of a distraction because of the lack of resolution in her relationship with Sesshoumaru.
‘He barely talked to me…’ She recalled their run-in of that morning. At that precise moment, she wished she could give in and drink her pain away as she had done often enough after Kouga had dumped her, but even then Sesshoumaru’s disapproval towards alcohol stopped her. She could just picture his disgusted face at seeing her resort to such embarrassing mind altering means in order not to think of him.
‘That bastard really has more influence on me than I had thought. Damn jerk.’ The young woman then shook her head, and picked up the file her father had given her earlier. She decided then and there to just focus on work; it had always been a sure way for her to change her frame of mind.
She stood up and abruptly causing her nightgown to ride up her thighs. ‘The last time I wore it was when we went to the festival. This was the beginning of everything between us. If only I had known how painful it would turn out to be for me in the end…okay enough with the pity party, I need to stop thinking about him.’ She thought angrily as she smoothed down the silky red fabric. Kagura then sat behind her computer, and opened an internet window. After a few clicks and some typed words, she was had in front of her an abbreviated version of the biography of Kenta Suzuki, the man her father had asked her to write portrait for. ‘What could be hidden behind this smug smile? Just another political crook, or something more?’ She could not help but wonder. She did not like the mindless assignment Naraku had given her, but she was sure it was another one of his tests. ‘There has got to be something more behind his request for that piece, and I’m dying to find out what.’
Her curious thoughts about her next article were interrupted by her doorbell. Too surprised as to who would dare to visit her this late, she did not even think about putting something over the flimsy red babydoll she was wearing before going to answer the door.
It was Kagura’s turn to be stunned when she opened the door to her condo.
“Sesshoumaru?! What are you…”
She never had a chance to finish her question as her co-worker launched himself on her. Sesshoumaru eagerly buried his hand in her tied hair, and brought her face closer to his. In a matter of seconds the two lovers were sharing a passionate kiss. Kagura wrapped her arms around his neck eagerly linking them together. A little voice in the back of her head pointed out that she should push him away after the way he had coldly dismissed her earlier, and that she should ask for an explanation about his sudden radical change of attitude, but she could not. It simply felt too good.
As if finally remembering that they were standing on the threshold of Kagura’s condo, Sesshoumaru gently pushed her backwards, and the younger woman did not resist. Once they were safely inside, he took the opportunity to shut the front door with the help of his foot. It was only then that the two of them broke apart for some much needed air.
As she regained her breath, Kagura scanned her late night attacker, and was shocked to see how bedraggled the always meticulous Sesshoumaru looked. More than half of his shirt was not tucked in, and his usually crisp pants were wrinkled beyond repair.
‘That somehow reminds me of the night he waited for me when he thought I had gone out to dinner with another man…’ The thought of what had occurred that evening after Sesshoumaru had forced himself through her defense caused a shockwave of lust to go through her. Just as the young woman was about to question her lover about the reason behind his unexpected visit, Sesshoumaru leaned forward to bestow another kiss on her lips, and all thoughts fled her mind.
Sesshoumaru had personally come in to be able to share with someone everything he had just found out about his parents, and especially how wrong he had been on the circumstances of his mother’s death. There was only one person he could dare talk to about something so personal, and at that present moment, she was in his arms. He may have come to her condo in search of some soothing relief and an understanding ear, but at the present moment he was receiving all the comfort he might need. He had after all never been much of a talker, and he was certain this was the quickest way to make him feel better.
The two of them had been standing in the entryway of Kagura’s condo, sharing a passionate kiss for a while when he decided to move things along. When Sesshoumaru placed his hands around her hips and gently hoisted her up, Kagura did not hesitate to help him along by wrapping her legs around his waist. And when he started walking after gently securing her in his arms, she simply held on for the ride by lacing her arms around his neck all the while keeping their lips fastened together as best she could. She knew he was directing them towards her bedroom, and she did not even think about protesting.
To be continued…
A/N: I will try not to make you guys wait this long for the next one. I think the chapter will be names Developing Story… A huge thanks to all of you who have read, supported and reviewed my fanfictions over the years!