InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Secrets of the Shinju (Part IV): Power of the Purified Shinju ❯ Regret ( Chapter 18 )

Chapter Eighteen

Regret

Sango walked Kagome back to the castle doing her best to comfort her. As soon as she was inside Kagome rushed to her room and locked the door. She slowly walked through the room looking at everything, yet she saw nothing. InuYasha's angry words were still running through her mind and she finally stopped in front of the mirror. She almost didn't recognize the person gazing back at her. `What am I doing? What have I become?' Kagome reflected back upon the days since she first met Seiji. Her life had been turned upside down and she didn't know who she was anymore.

The night before played in her mind and she was washed with regret. `Oh my God, what did I do? I slept with Sesshoumaru…' The realization of what she had done sunk in and she began to cry. Kagome wanted to go home. She wanted to return to her era and never come back.

She walked to the window and looked out over the lands. She could feel the death and pain that was everywhere. Everything that had happened over the past weeks suddenly hit Kagome and she sunk to the floor, quickly curling up tightly into fetal position. She heard Sango knock on the door and call to her but she didn't answer. Finally, Sango left saying she would return to check on her later.

Kagome closed her eyes not wanting to do anything but sleep. She soon felt Hitomi calling to her in a soothing, almost comforting voice. She let reality dissolve and found herself in a small room with the demoness.

"Hello, Priestess. I am sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. I can feel your distress. You do not wish to fight anymore, nor do I." Kagome stood emotionless in front of Hitomi not saying a word. "My offer still stands. You may agree to become my servant. Your pain will be gone. Never again will you feel this way." Kagome stood unmoving taking in Hitomi.

"Why are you doing this?" The demoness stared Kagome down and then smiled. "I control these lands now. It is my rightful place."

"But why are you killing innocent people?" The demoness scoffed. "Human's are anything but innocent." She felt intense hate coming from Hitomi. Kagome searched the room and realized that the shinju was not there.

"Why did you kill my father?" Hitomi gave her a smirk before answering.

"Your father had powers similar to yours though very weak in comparison. He would try to use his dreams to find me but he wasn't immune to my own powers. He spent his whole pathetic life trying to find me so that he could prevent me taking the shinju. I knew he would be in the forest the day that I killed him. He had information that I wanted and I thought that in his weakened state I could get it. However, he was willing to die protecting it." She gave Kagome a hard look. "He was protecting you."

Kagome stared at Hitomi as she spoke. Suddenly the demoness became very dark.

"From where do you draw your powers, priestess? They are beyond me. You shouldn't be able to interfere with my illusions nor cloud my visions, yet you do." Kagome simply stared at her not even knowing how to answer.

"You will bind yourself to me today or watch your friends suffer the consequences." Hitomi stepped closer and then stopped.

"You have grown cold, priestess. You no longer care what happens to you." She said in a pleased voice. Kagome simply stared at the demoness considering her words. `Do I care?' She asked herself honestly.

All of a sudden Kagome felt herself slipping away from Hitomi and back into reality. She awoke in a strong embrace. She opened her eyes and found Sesshoumaru holding her close trying desperately to wake her. She began to focus and realized that he was sitting on her bed holding her in his arms tightly.

"Kagome, please wake up." She felt him bury his face in her hair kissing the top of her head. He again pleaded for her to respond. Finally she answered him and he let out a sigh of relief.

Kagome sat there quietly in his arms for a moment thinking about Hitomi's words. Again the events of the past couple of weeks rolled through Kagome's mind and she suddenly couldn't keep herself calm anymore. She began trembling and crying uncontrollably, trying frantically to pull away from Sesshoumaru. Her words came out shaky between her sobs.

"Please, let me go. Please. I want to go home. I want this to all be a dream. I want to wake up and find out that I never went down the well, that I never found InuYasha or that stupid jewel. I never want to think about the shinju again. I don't want to remember what Naraku did and I don't want…"

She stopped herself before she said anything to hurt him. She jerked away from Sesshoumaru and half stumbled, half crawled to the corner of the room and again slid to the floor shaking so badly that it almost hurt.

Sesshoumaru sat on Kagome's bed watching her cry and tremble. Her words nearly tore him apart. He knew all of the pain she was feeling was a direct result of his failures. He had let Naraku take her. He had allowed her to stay with him, making Naraku grow to desire her and he had not protected her well enough when Naraku came for her the second time.

He had also taken her into his bed when she was clearly not ready for that. Now he was watching her as she finally broke down in defeat. He wanted to go to her and hold her but she seemed disgusted by his touch. He watched her for a moment and then slowly walked out of the room. A moment later Sango appeared and went to Kagome's side. "Please Sango, take me to the well…I want to go home."