InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Secrets ❯ Tears, Death, and Sleep ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer:

I do not own any of the characters from the InuYasha television series. I claim only characters that I have made using my own intellect.

 

 

Chapter 5

 

I wake with a start, drenched in a cold sweat. I had been dreaming about the car accident again, my heart beating a mile per second.

I sigh and pour some cold water on my face, making me feel a little better, though my nightmare still haunting me just a little.

Mom, why did you die and I live? It's just not fair, I think, a small tear running down my cheek.

Don't worry, mommy. You got me, I hear a child-like voice say in my mind as I look around to see where it was coming from.

Then I look down at the little wolf pup that is now right in front of me. I look at him with shocked eyes.

“Did you just say that, little one,” I ask the little pup, picking him up in my arms in confusion.

Yep and my name's Kuno, not little one, the little pup replies, giving me a stern look at the nickname `little one.'

“Well, it's nice to make you acquaintance, Kuno,” I reply, feeling kind of stupid at talking to an animal that shouldn't be able to understand me or my thoughts.

Aren't you going to feed that stupid guy in the tree and Shippou, Mommy, Kuno asks causing me to chuckle a little bit at Kuno's reference to Kouga, who's still asleep in the tree.

“Yes, Kuno, I just have to wake them up. You go ahead and get Shippou up, I'll wake up Kouga,” I reply, quite tempted to call him `that stupid guy in the tree.'

Is that what that stupid guy in the tree's name is? Kouga? I think I like stupid guy in the tree better, Kuno replies, jumping down from my arms and headed towards Shippou.

I just roll my eyes and jump up into the tree beside Kouga. I study him while he's sleeping, the peaceful aura surrounding him just making me want to curl up in his arms and stay peaceful like that forever.

EW, Mommy. That's guys gross, don't think stuff like that, Kuno's voice interjects, bringing me back to the real world with a blush.

“Not to self, ask Kouga how to keep Kuno out of thoughts unless I want him there,” I mumble quietly, putting my hand to Kouga's chest and shaking him a little.

Kouga's eyes snap open and he grabs my arm from his chest, causing me to lose my balance. I open my eyes in surprise and then close them, expecting to feel the sharpness of the ground to my back, but am shocked when I feel my body being cuddled to hard warmth.

I then open my eyes to stare straight into Kouga's pretty light blue eyes. I can't look away and just stare at him in awe.

“You know you can get down now,” Kouga replies grumpily, apparently not a morning person.

I blush and jump down angrily, more angry at myself than at him. I wouldn't have been in the situation if I'd had just left him there to starve while we ate.

I sigh, knowing that I'm not that mean to let that be any kind of option at all and so I go about heating up some herbs and water to make a nice mint soup.

When I'm done I put it in the bowls that I had brought along for this occasion, now glad that I had accidentally grabbed too many. The only person that doesn't seem to like it is Kouga, to my surprise the little wolf pup lapping it right up with enjoyment.

“What is this junk,” Kouga asks, sniffing it suspiciously and glaring in my direction as if I'd poisoned it.

“Try it and find out,” I say, rolling my eyes at Kouga's little trust towards people.

“How about you shove it up you-------OW,” Kouga starts, ending with a howl of pain as Kuno bites Kouga's leg fiercely. “What the bloody fuck?!”

Don't insult my mommy, you big jerk, Kuno growls ferociously at Kouga, my surprise at his defense.

“Um . . . Kuno said not to insult his mommy, you big jerk,” I tell Kouga, sipping on my bowl of mint soup.

“Mommy? Why the hell is he so protective of you,” Kouga mutters to himself, pouting not unlike Inuyasha when he gets reprimanded or confused in his anger.

Thank you, Kuno. That was very sweet of you, but next time just let me handle him unless I ask your help, I think towards the young pup, a little smile appearing on his face as he nods at me happily.

After that I just sort of ignore Kouga's bad mood, not willing to share a conversation with someone who doesn't want it. I sigh more than a few times, wondering what my father is thinking of this moment.

Not long after we leave our camp site, we get to the edge of Kaede's village, a flash of red going by and then my father standing in front of me.

“Where have you been?! I don't remember you asking to leave,” Inuyasha growls at me in a fatherly tone, my anger snapping.

“Why do you care?! You didn't want to care when I was almost half dead!!! Why is it that you make a big deal over this, but not other things,” I growl back, Kouga just standing on the edge of us, not saying anything.

“I'm trying!!! I don't know how to raise you!!! Unlike you, I didn't have a father around to raise me and not a mother shortly afterwards,” Inuyasha hisses, trying to be a big bad father.

“Not much of a father are you?! Missing out on most of my life, alienating my mother, and now trying to raise me to make up for what you didn't have. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror, Dad. I didn't have a mother for very long and I don't have a father. All I have is some brat that isn't ready to take responsibility for his own actions. Don't act like you care until you do,” I hiss right back, tears stinging the back of my eyelids in my anger, my heart tearing up inside with pain.

Inuyasha looks flabbergasted, probably trying to think of a witty comeback that just isn't there. I'd at least tried to get along with him, even if he didn't want to and now he was trying when I'd given up hope on a friend and a father.

I walk ahead, going straight to Kaede's hut where I brush off questions coming from Sango and Miroku, both looking a little closer than usual to my suspicion, but I brush that off too as I grab my cigarettes and lighter and take off towards my happy place, the small stream.

I get there and just let the tears come, silently letting the tears was the sand on the edge of the stream.

Mom, where are you when I need you the most, I think, looking up at the sky for an answer, but none coming until a voice comes from behind me in the form of a very wise old woman.

“Ye shouldn't be so hard on Inuyasha. He is still wondering what he should do. He doesn't understand how to be a parent yet,” Kaede says, coming to stand beside me as she looks out onto the stream.

“It's so hard though, Miko Kaede. He's so frustrating,” I reply quietly, wondering why I could talk so easily to someone I barely knew.

“That is because ye are so much like him. Ye remind me of him when he I first saw him with my sister, Kikyou. So filled with anger and pain, but ye mother taught him what it was like to love again. All ye have to do is wait for ye father to come around like he's trying to do. Give him time and ye will like the results,” Kaede says wisely, my brain knowing it true, but my heart holding a grudge.

I sigh as Kaede walks away; apparently having said all that was to be said.

“Yes, Kaede, but that doesn't mean that I will come around,” I say to Kaede, though knowing that she is too far away to hear or reply to me.

“What the hell were you thinking leaving me there with mutt face, wench,” Kouga's voice says, floating to my ears from behind me.

“Leave me be, Kouga. I'm in no mood for your witty remarks or your spiteful words,” I reply quietly, no fight left in me after the confrontation with Inuyasha and the conversation with Kaede.

“You know, I have to admit you're not as bad as mutt face . . . though not by much,” Kouga says, sounding as if it hurt to say as he sits down on a rock not too far from me and setting Kuno down on the ground so he may go play at the water's edge.

“Did you just give me a complement,” I ask, giving Kouga a sad lopsided smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

“Don't expect much of it, woman,” Kouga growls, at least calling me something than other than wench or worse.

“Maybe my mother was right about you. Maybe you aren't such a jerk after all,” I say with a chuckle, my eyes dancing with light as Kouga looks away from me with a blush.

I watch Kouga as he watches Kuno play at the water's edge, his cheeks going back to their normal shade as I do.

Kouga isn't really all that bad looking now that I think about it. His hair is beautifully black and silky, his face wonderfully strong and masculine, and his body nicely shaped for strength and speed.

I quickly look away with a blush when Kouga looks at me with a confused gaze, probably wondering why I'm staring at him so intently. As soon as I look away, I blush more, knowing what I had been thinking and not liking it too well.

“You look a lot like your mother,” Kouga says suddenly, startling me out of my own thoughts and back into reality.

“Oh, yeah, I've been told that a lot by friends and family,” I say quietly, blushing lightly at the complement. “Did you really love her?”

“As a friend you could say, but I guess I realized that I never really loved her like that mutt face could, though seeing as how he drove her away, I don't think I want to love like that,” Kouga says gruffly, turning his face away as if he'd said too much.

“In life you love and you lose, but that's not any reason to not try to find someone to love. I may not have lived as long as you or Inuyasha, but I think I know enough to say that love is something you can't just wait for. If you don't take life by the reigns then you might not even get the chance,” I reply with a friendly smile.

“What do you know anyway? You're just some stupid kid,” Kouga grumbles, my smiling growing wider at the knowledge that he's fuming at me being right. “What the hell are you smiling at?!”

I don't reply, but light up a cigarette and keep smiling, missing my mother, but knowing she would have loved to have see Kouga and me exchange these words. She had always been the sentimental type of person that you couldn't really bring down at all.

“What was she like, Kouga? You knew her well enough I suppose,” I ask, silence wafting into the air after my question.

“She . . . she was very beautiful and nice and funny. She was always the first to laugh and the last to stop smiling. She was like sunshine on a rainy day . . . well, until Inuyasha broke her heart, but even then she chose to hide her pain for the sake of everyone else. She also had a god awful temper,” Kouga says softly, obviously reminiscing about my mother.

“Yeah, I thought so. When I knew her she was always quiet and sad, though she was always happy around me. She tried to hide her sadness, but sometimes when she didn't know I was watching she'd lose her smile and cry a little. She always told me stories about this place and she would get a half smile on her face and her eyes would go all sad. She was never able to finish one story that she liked telling because she knew she couldn't lie and say that the people lived happily ever after,” I say just as softly as Kouga, smiling at the memory of my mother.

I hear Kouga something about a stupid mutt face, probably talking about my father at hurting my mother, but I ignore it and just enjoy the comfortable silence, only broken by Kuno's sudden growling.

I look up to see black clouds rolling into the sky, my eyes searching for some kind of answer as well as my nose. I don't smell Naraku, but a strange scent enters my nose and I sneeze viciously, Kouga suddenly having me in his arms.

I look up at him as he runs with both Kuno and me, taking us as far away from the clouds as we can get. I watch the clouds in awe as they roll in like an army ready to attack.

“What---,” I start, looking up at the sky in wonder, only to have my question answered by a growl from Kouga.

“Demon attack.”

I watch the clouds as they form into a very large demon, a demon dog coming hurtling from it's grasps, only to land right in front of all three of us, getting back up unsteadily as if not having the will to fight, the fight all, but gone from it's eyes.

I then recognize my uncle Sesshomaru, tears on his face as I see a little girl's body not far from us with a sword next to it. I jump from Kouga's arms, leaving Kuno in his arms as I run to the little girl in alarm. She's bloody and not breathing. I pick up the sword and feel it pulsate in my hands.

Weird, I think, following the sudden movement that seems to have overtaken my arm.

The blade easily cuts through the girl, her body healing a breath catching in her throat as she sits up unsteadily, shaking her head as if she had woken from a nightmare.

“Lord Sesshomaru,” she speaks in a daze, her soul not fully connected to her body.

I pick the girl up, only about 10 or 11 years of age and head off towards Kouga. I look at my uncle, a weird look of thanks in his eyes as he slays the demon. I hold the girl in my arms until the blood shed is down, a torn up Sesshomaru coming back to us.

“Rin,” he speaks softly, the little girl running up to him and hugging him tightly and to my surprise, Sesshomaru returns the hug openly.

I search my memory for a girl of this name with a small five year old coming to mind. I try to think of anything on the girl, but her coming up to me startles me from my memory.

“Thank you for saving me, Cousin Higame. I am very grateful,” the girl tells me, me wondering how she could be my cousin if she was human.

Then I catch of whiff of her blood and realize that my Uncle had mixed his own blood in the girls to keep her from aging as fast of a human so that she would age as a demon does. I can also see pale lavender marks on her face and a pale lavender moon on her forehead as if the change had only been a year or two ago.

“As am I, niece. At least you are fit to be called family, unlike that unhelpful half-breed of a brother of mine,” Sesshomaru says suddenly, appearing at the girl's side.

“Um . . . anytime, Uncle,” I say, wondering if that was the right thing to say.

I'm almost frightened when Sesshomaru gives my a small smile of thanks, wondering what had gotten into everyone, 1st, Inuyasha acting fatherly, then Kouga giving me complements, and now my cold, unfeeling Uncle giving me his gratitude and a smile of thanks. What was the world coming to?

Then I'm swept off my feet by Kouga once again, both of us ending up in Kaede's hut alone to my surprise, Kouga sitting behind me as if something were after him. I'm about to ask him why the hell he's hiding behind me when Ayame comes walking in through the door.

“I'm here to claim my right as mate to Kouga, wench! I will not be tossed aside for some quarter breed wench that has no right, just as that human girl had no right. I'm glad to have gotten rid of that bitch,” Ayame says harshly, questions appearing in my mind left and right.

“What do you mean you got rid of her,” I ask, bewildered that she would say such a thing.

“I'm the one that set her up. Naraku was kind enough to play the part of Inuyasha as long as I kept up my half of the deal and pledged allegiance to him,” Ayame says proudly, apparently off her rocker.

“You what, Ayame,” Kouga yells loudly, shaking the very foundation of Kaede's hut.

“Don't be angry, love. This bitch will too soon be out of the way of our love,” Ayame replies, her smile crazy as if she has too many screws loose.

I don't exactly know what happens next for the next thing I know, I'm standing over Ayame's slaughtered body with her blood all over me. I look down at my hands in shock, wondering what had happened.

“Kouga, what just happened,” I ask in a frightened voice, shaking in fear and disgust at all the blood that is all over me.

“Y-your demon blood took over and the next thing I knew you were standing over Ayame's bloody corpse,” Kouga says a little shakily. “I think we should get out of here.”

I agree totally and run as fast as my legs will carry me to the hot springs. I don't know if Kouga followed or not, but I jump in fully clothed, stripping them off when I think that they've soaked enough. I soon hear a splash behind me to see a naked Kouga bathing in the hot spring a little ways away.

“Do you think we should be bathing at the same time, Kouga,” I ask, blushing furtively.

Kouga just looks at me in confusion, the thought that wolf demons' did this all the time coming to mind. I just sigh in defeat and sit down, relaxing my sore muscles in the hot spring and accidentally falling asleep as my eyelids get too heavy for me to hold them up.