InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeking the Hime's Heart ❯ A Broken Doll ( Chapter 9 )

Seeking the Hime's Heart

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Author's note: Hello everyone ^_^ Here's the latest chapter, I would have had it up on Saturday but a lot of things happened… My internet was down for the weekend, I changed the ending for the chapter several times and I'm still not too sure about this one but I couldn't really think of anything else so here it is. Enjoy and please review.

Last time: An hour or so later, after Kouga had retired to his own guest chamber, Kagome briefly wondered in he would have desired her if Ayame were within the castle's walls. It took hardly a minute for her to decide that it was irrelevant and to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

Chapter 9: A Broken Doll

~*~

Her skin was pale, as pale as the other women of the court; it was a symbol, part of the collective meaning of beauty in this country. Pale skin meant wealth and status, only women who lived easy lives and did not toil in the rice paddies or scrub clothes in rivers could have such milky-white skin. Only those who rarely ventured out into the sun, such traits were apparently desirable to men; women who were not real, who could not live out in the world alone. They existed only as pretty toys, not to be taken seriously, just play things for those who could afford to purchase them.

There was a time when her flesh had not been the color of alabaster. Instead her skin had been lightly colored by the sun, though she had not worked in the fields or any such thing, she had played in its warm light, had walked through the bright streets of a market with the heated rays shining upon her face. As a child she would sometimes lay in the grassy field just outside her village lazily watching her mother plait her long dark hair into a single braid. It had been a long time ago; over twelve years, but those memories never faded. Even though she was now an adult, a mother at sixteen years of age, she could not shake off such childish memories, could not break away from a childhood she had not fully experienced.

But for the moment, she had to push such thoughts away; Kouga was waiting for her in the courtyard. He had offered to accompany her to the market this day, promising to buy her anything she desired. Somehow, the kind, grand gesture had failed to even make her smile.

At her side, Yumi continued to prattle on about some new rumor that Kagome didn't care to hear. Despite the fact that she was rarely ever quiet, Kagome preferred Yumi's company over her personal youkai servant. Perhaps it was because they were both ningens, but the more likely reason was because Yumi, unlike her servant from home, didn't seem to hate her. The girl placed a finely crafted umbrella into Kagome's hands.

"But this isn't mine," Kagome said frowning down at the colorfully decorated umbrella, "I didn't even bring an umbrella."

Shrugging, Yumi slid the door open for her lady to exit through and gave her an off-handed answer.

"Kouga-sama instructed me to give it to you. I suppose he bought it when he went to the market… You know, I heard that…"

Making it a point to ignore Yumi's words, Kagome walked through the castle's halls, heading towards the courtyard. She had no interest in rumors, especially since several of the more popular ones being spread seemed to focus on her, though Yumi never mentioned them to her, not anymore anyways.

Entering the courtyard, Kagome was met with the intense heat of the afternoon sun. It was nice to feel the radiance of Amaterasu* caressing her cheeks as she tilted her face skyward with her eyes closed. Such warm, sunny days made her heart a bit lighter as she thought of Rin, wondering for the hundredth time that day, what her daughter was doing at that moment.

From beside her Yumi whispered her name, taking the waxed paper umbrella from her hands and opening it to shield her skin from the sun.

"Kagome-sama, you should shade your face from the sun. You have such nice skin; you wouldn't want the sun to ruin it."

For a moment Kagome couldn't understand what Yumi meant, or rather she understood what Yumi was saying and what it meant, but couldn't think of any reason to care at the moment. The sun felt so nice, it seemed like a small price to pay for her skin to become lightly tanned.

Kouga startled her from her reverie with a guiding hand placed on her lower back, with his other hand he took the umbrella from Yumi and handed it to Kagome. The two of them, with three other wolf youkai who had come with them as guards for the journey, exited the courtyard and headed down the well-worn dirt path leading towards the marketplace.

"So, Kagome, have you decided what you will buy today?"

Biting her lower lip nervously, Kagome shook her head. She still felt a little guilty about not being able to be excited by Kouga's generous offer.

"Well. . . I don't really need anything for myself, so perhaps I will get something for Rin instead."

Kouga frowned, glancing down at his young wife.

"We will get something for Rin, but you should buy something for yourself as well. It doesn't have to be something you need; it can just be something you want."

"Oh," Kagome whispered, looking down. "Alright,"

~*~

Her trip to the market had not been particularly eventful; she had bought a beautifully painted folding fan for herself and a porcelain doll for Rin. The doll was beautiful, and had been much more expensive then the fan she had bought, but she didn't care. As she had told Kouga, there was nothing that she herself needed or particularly wanted.

Kagome smiled, studying the doll in her hands. The doll had a rounded face that was painted white, the lips were colored a bright red and the cheeks were two rosy circles on either side of its dainty nose. The eyes looked almost real as they stared back at Kagome, the eye lashes and eye brows were painted black. Running her free hand through her loose hair, Kagome thought that the doll had much softer hair then her own, and wondered what it could be made of, perhaps silk. The dolls hair was half up and half down. The top part was twisted into a bun, a miniature kanzashi holding it in place along with some kind of glaze that made that particular part of the hair stiff, thus insuring the bun would not come undone. Around the kanzashi there were silk flowers decorating the hair, in the center of each a small pearl had been sewn in. Even the doll's kimono was beautiful and detailed, made of soft pink silk and covered in red and white sakura blossoms. In its delicate hands it held a small fan and there were even tiny sandals adorning her feet.

It was a beautiful doll, and she was eager to show it to Rin. She herself had not had a doll when she was a child and so it felt good to be able to offer her own daughter something she had been deprived of when she was growing up. Not that her childhood had been a particularly bad one, it had only been after her mother… she didn't want to think about it, instead she called Yumi to fix her hair since dinner was quickly approaching, hoping that the girl's mindless chatter would ease her nerves a bit.

Just as the last pin was being secured into her hair there was a knock at her door. Kagome stood and placed the porcelain doll upon a chest that held her belongings. Calling out for her visitor to enter, Kagome heard Yumi make a surprised sound as she turned to greet her husband. Instead she was met with a golden gaze and hair the color of freshly fallen snow. Immediately, she bowed her head.

"Gomen nasai, I thought you were Kouga."

Inuyasha grimaced and turned away from her, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Feh, the yaze ookami is busy, he has business with my brother so he asked me to take you to the dining room for dinner."

"Oh," she answered, closing her eyes. There was a thick tension in the air, Kagome fidgeted nervously, remembering their last encounter when he had protected her from Naraku… the things she had said and how he had turned away from her.

"I'm not going," Kagome told him suddenly and she saw his back stiffen, glancing nervously at Yumi, she saw that the girl had left unnoticed. Hopefully, the girl had enough sense not to go around saying Kagome went around inviting men into her room to have private conversations, things like that would tarnish her reputation even more.

He was about to leave, but she felt the need to explain herself and so called out for him to wait.

"It's not that I'm ungrateful for your company, but I can't go there alone."

From the corner of her eyes, Kagome saw one of his dog-like ears twitch as he turned around to once again glare at her.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm afraid," she admitted. "Afraid of sitting by myself among those people. I don't know any of them and they all hate me or look down on me. Without Kouga there's no reason for me to be there."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, taking a step forward and for a second she was afraid of what his intentions might be. But before she could protest he had grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room.

"Baka, I've never seen such a pathetic person, youkai or otherwise."

Frowning indignantly, Kagome tried to keep up with his pace, but it was hard since his legs were a lot longer then hers. Just as they rounded the corner that would lead them to the dining room, he released her and ordered her to follow him. At the door, there were a few youkai standing in doorway having a conversation.

"Oi, you bastards get out of the way," Inuyasha said pushing through the small group. Kagome flinched at his harsh words but followed closely behind him with her eyes focused on the tatami mats, watching the heels of the hanyou's feet.

He walked straight past the lower tables where the less important nobles sat and didn't stop at the table she normally sat at with Kouga, though she glanced at her usual seat she continued to obediently follow Inuyasha. After they had passed the high table where Inuyasha normally sat with his brother and Naraku, Kagome began to wonder where he was taking her. In the corner of the room there was a door that the servants entered and exited from, he lead her through that door and into a kitchen.

None of the servants seemed surprised to see Inuyasha there, although a few of them threw curious glances at Kagome who still kept her eyes firmly planted on the floor. He stopped a passing servant to give her a few orders that Kagome couldn't hear due to the noise caused by all the people preparing food, then he continued to walk towards the back of the kitchen. There was another door at the back of the kitchen that Inuyasha opened and stepped out of, it lead to a small herb garden and he sat at the edge of the porch.

Unsure of what she was doing, Kagome continued to stand a few feet behind him. There was that tense silence between them once again. After a few minutes a servant came out with two trays of food, sparing Kagome a single glance the girl placed both trays next to Inuyasha and then left. Picking up a bowl of rice, the hanyou began to eat and still Kagome stood silently behind him.

"Well?" Inuyasha growled, "Are you gonna eat or not?"

Timidly, Kagome moved forward, bending her knees to take her seat next to her tray of food.

"Arigato," she whispered.

He said nothing, just continued to eat, every few minutes Kagome would glance at him and she couldn't help but notice that he seemed more relaxed then usual. His eyes didn't look around suspiciously, his ears didn't twitch as much and his shoulders didn't seem so tense as they did when he ate in the formal dining hall.

Of course there was a chance that rumors would start about this, the fact that they both were not present at the evening meal, but Kagome couldn't find it in her to care. It was nice to be away from the prying eyes of the court and she didn't have to worry if she ate a bit messily because obviously Inuyasha didn't care much about propriety. Also, there was a certain thrill in it; she actually enjoyed being around him despite his harsh, rude ways.

After they had both finished eating, he led her back through the castle to her room and left without a word. When she got there Yumi was waiting for her and the girl seemed to look her over for a second before moving to undo her obi and take her hair down. After the girl had left, and she was lying in her futon, half wondering if Kouga would come to her room that night, she suddenly recalled Inuyasha's words, `I've never seen such a pathetic person, youkai or otherwise.'

~*~

"The hime was beautiful, more beautiful then the setting sun, the falling of sakura blossoms in the spring or a crane flying gracefully through the air. Yet, despite the praises that were sang in her name and the many compliments that were bestowed upon her she was unhappy. At the very center of her heart there was a cold, black stone that made her cruel…"

The hands upon her were cold, the fingers dug into her flesh; she could feel her skin on the brink of parting for the nails imbedded in her arms. With her body immobile, and her mind blank except for the writhing fear within it, she let her body go completely limp. Upon her cheeks she felt the stale icy breath of someone above her.

"I hate you," it was a hoarse whisper that surrounded her, the sound resounding throughout the room and echoed, bouncing off the walls and entering her ears over and over again.

Momentarily, her eyes fluttered open, the eyes staring at her were dark. They were the eyes of the dead, colorless and wide with fear.

"Pathetic."

"I hate you."

"Useless."

The specter's lips never moved, but those words circled around her, coated her with grief and fear. Looking past the lifeless eyes, to the sky she saw it was red, not the mellow tone of red found at dusk, but the intense color of flames. It was a live fire, burning in the sky and eating away at the earth. But there was nothing wrong with that… Nothing at all, it would be perfect if not for the dead woman above her, the cold fingers now wrapped around her throat.

Then another face appeared beside the first, this one aglow with youth, the cheeks rosy. The hair held in a half bun with ornate kanzashi. It was a living doll, the doll… The lips were a deep red and smiled at her, a dainty hand fanned away the heat descending upon them. At that moment something shattered, the sound like that of a cracked teapot split the earth in two. Above her the face of the doll, the woman, the lips still turned up in a wide smile, it fell apart, a crack formed down the center through her petite nose and the pieces fell away from each other. There was blood falling onto her face, covering her and then she screamed.

~*~

Kagome jerked up from her futon, a scream upon her lips and her hands flew up to her face to wipe the blood away. But there was none, there was only perspiration coating her body, the smell of it heavy within the small room. The door flew open but she was not looking in that direction. Her eyes were upon the doll lying broken beside her futon. It's face had fallen into two separate pieces, the eyes were eerily looking up at her, each side held half a smile upon red lips.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Reviewer responses:

InusDemoness: First of all, thanks for the review. Now, about how Inuyasha didn't say anything to the women who were talking about him but actually insulted and pushed Kagome; well, he ignores everyone else, so the fact that he notices her says something. As far as husbands in feudal Japan goes, Kouga isn't all that bad, although he isn't the greatest either.

Miss_Marilyn69: My move went pretty well, there were of course a few things I had over looked but everything is settled now and I'm happy. Thanks for your concern and your reviews.

Kawool: Thanks for the review and keep up the happy dancing. ^_^

Kari: * blushes * glad you think so highly of the story and thanks for the review.

New Fan: As of now, Naraku doesn't really want to start a war with Kouga and he doesn't want Kagome, I just see him as the kind of person who likes to make trouble to anyone regardless of who they are. As far as Kagome's beauty goes, `beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' whether internal or external, you're right sometimes it takes happiness to make a person's real beauty show. Thanks for the review.

Youkai tsuki: Heh, sorry it takes me a while to update, but I'm glad you think it's worth it. Guess paying attention in English class does pay off after all… Thanks for the review!

KagoKitty: Glad you're enjoying the story and happy to see someone who doesn't hate me for the slow updates ^_^ I myself am a fan of angst, but always like a happy ending. Thanks for the review.

Rasberries: Thank you for another beautiful review and for not wanting me to rush through the Kagome/ Inuyasha relationship because for the first time I'm trying to be patient and draw out the beginning and show the actual bonds forming rather then just jumping into the `hopelessly in love,' stage. As always, it's great to read your input ^_^