InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sesshomarus Revenge ❯ Trying to Heal ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: Okay. For better or worse here it is, chapter 2. It was very hard to write, and if you want to find out what happened to Sesshomaru just wait for chapter 3, I'm working on it.

 

 

 

From a distance it seemed such a cozy scene. A group of young people gathered around a campsite, the fire burning brightly and food cooking. Only as you got closer did you notice what a strange collection of travelers this was: a monk, a demon slayer, and a girl in a strange outfit, a half demon and a kitsune. And they all seemed extremely subdued.

 

Kagome and Sango huddled together around the fire, still haunted from the rape they had endured by Sesshomaru five days before. In the twentieth century they would call this post- traumatic stress disorder, this Kagome knew. Just because she knew what she and Sango were going through did not mean she knew how to handle it. And she could tell that Inu-Yasha did not really understand why she had not returned to her usual self. His golden eyes were filled with frustration and confusion as he poked the fire with a stick. She took a deep breath, as if to speak, and Sango looked up at her questioningly.

 

“I know that Sango and I have not been the same since - since, you know…” she began lamely, as Inu-Yasha, Miroku and Shippou solemnly looked up at her.

 

Oh, what am I trying to say? She thought in frustration, these guys will never understand unless they had been through something equally as traumatic. She decided to tell them what she had recently settled on as being the best course of action for both herself and Sango.

 

“Sango and I need some time to heal, to heal more than just our bodies. I think it would be best if we went back and stayed with Kaede for a while.”

 

“What!” said Inu-Yasha, jumping to his feet, “I don't understand what that old bat can do to help you! How can you just abandon everything?”

 

Kagome looked at Inu-Yasha bleakly. She knew he meant how could she abandon him. He looked away from her quickly, knowing she would detect the hurt he could not keep from his eyes. She was always so good at reading him, and he had started to feel even more helpless. He had rescued her and he loved her, why couldn't he make her better? Why did she have to leave him?

 

Inu-Yasha cursed and through down his stick, then walked away from the fire in a sulk.

 

“Do you want me to stay with you at Kaede's village?” asked Shippou hopefully.

 

“That's sweet of you Shippou, but it's really up to you. You don't need to be with us, we just need to be out of harms way for a while.”

 

The next day they headed back towards the village. If it weren't for Sango, Kagome would just go down the well and go home she thought. At least that's what she told herself. But she also knew that she would have to face her family, and she dreaded their reaction to what had befallen her. There was no way she could keep it a secret from them. They wouldn't take it very lightly if she popped out of the well and said, `Hi Mom, Grandpa, Sota, I need to see a psychiatrist right away.' She sighed as she trudged along, thinking these thoughts, and Sango came up to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

 

Inu-Yasha watched as Sango comforted Kagome and seethed. Ever since that day when he rescued her from Sesshomaru, Kagome had withdrawn from him. She would stiffen when he'd try to touch her, and then look at him apologetically. But he got the message. And it hurt, regardless the reason.

 

They had been traveling a week, and would be there in three days, when Kagome was awakened by what sounded like retching. She sat up in her sleeping bag and blearily looked around. Shippou was deeply asleep beside her, Miroku was snoring softly, and Inu-Yasha was asleep in a tree overhead. Kirara was awake as well, and that was because Sango was missing. Kirara looked at her, and then trotted off a ways, stopping to look back and see if Kagome was following.

 

I get the message, thought Kagome, and went after her. She found Sango behind a large tree, bent over, one hand clutching the tree trunk the other her stomach. As she came up behind her, Sango retched again.

 

“What's the matter?” asked Kagome, “are you all right?”

 

“I-I don't know,” she gasped, “I thought it was something I ate, but I've been doing this every morning for a week now. No one else is sick are they?”

 

“I don't think so,” said Kagome, but she had a bad feeling about this. It wouldn't do to alarm Sango. She would confide her suspicions to Kaede when they got to the village.

 

On a sunny spring day three days later, they emerged from Inu-Yasha's forest into Kaede's village. Those who knew them hailed Kagome in a friendly manner, but were wary around Inu-Yasha. Old habits died hard. Hearing of their arrival, Kaede came out to greet them. The canny old women could tell something was up the moment she laid eyes on Kagome.

 

“Come Kagome, tell me why ye have returned to us this day,” said Kaede and led her away from the others, “The rest of ye may take your rest in my home.”

 

Inu-Yasha scowled and Sango looked apprehensive, but they complied.

 

Kaede led Kagome to the shrine, to a place there where they could talk without being disturbed. Alone with the old women, who looked at her with such care in her eyes, Kagome felt her throat constrict with tears.

 

“Oh, Kaede,” she sobbed, throwing her arms around her, “it was just awful!”

She told her how Sesshomaru had had her and Sango kidnapped. How he had raped them both viciously, saying that he was after the jewel shards. But she knew that he had had ulterior motives. He tried to break them physically and psychologically to get revenge on her and Inu-Yasha for standing in the way of what he wanted. But now they believed he was dead.

 

“And Kaede,” she said, wiping her eyes, “ I think Sango is pregnant.”

 

“Does she suspect this?” said Kaede

 

Kagome shook her head.

 

“Not that I can tell. She seems to think she is sick. I haven't told her my suspicions yet.”

 

“Do ye believe the baby is Sesshomarus?”

 

“Yes,” said Kagome with a shiver of revulsion.

 

“I will talk to the girl and examine her.” Said Kaede, “You and she will stay with me as long as ye need to. I cannot erase what ye have suffered, but I can help ye receive solace and peace.”

 

Kagome felt a weight lift off her for the first time in weeks. She had not realized what a burden she had taken on trying to be strong for herself and Sango. For the first time since that terrible day, she had some hope. But she felt a twinge in her heart for what lay ahead for Sango.

 

They walked back to Kaede's house, and the momentary relief Kagome had felt started to change over to nervousness. Kaede meant to take Sango aside and talk to her now, she said this was an important matter that should not wait. Okay, she thought, let's not walk in there like this. She made an effort to hide her nervousness as they entered the house.

They found everyone waiting for them-except Inu-Yasha. Kagome's face fell when she saw this. She should have expected he might do this. It made her want to cry, she was close to tears every day as it was.

 

“Sango, please come talk to me a minute. Kagome has told me what happened, and I would like to help ye.” Said Kaede.

 

Glancing up at Kagome briefly, and getting her quick smile of encouragement, she followed the old women into another room.

 

“If you're looking for Inu-Yasha, I believe he left the village.” Said Miroku from where he sat, “He did not look very happy to be here.”

 

Kagome bent her head down into her hands a moment, her insides in turmoil. `Oh, how could he be so selfish!' was her first thought. She almost wished he had stayed angry longer after he had rescued them, but the anger had burnt itself out with the belief that he might have killed Sesshomaru. It was easier to deal with then the confusion and pain she was causing him.

 

She sighed and raised her head. Miroku had an expectant look on his face and poor Shippou just looked confused.

 

“Okay, I'll go find him,” she said, “can you point me in the direction he went?”

 

Inu-Yasha hadn't known where he was headed when he left Kaede's. He was fighting feelings of anger and loss, when he found himself back at the tree where Kikyo had ensorcelled him all those years ago. He starred at it a moment, letting all the memories around it come to his mind, and all the feelings that went with them as well. Finally he leaped onto a tree limb to sulk. It was from there he heard Kagome calling for him. He let her call a while, feeling petulant and unsure if he wanted her to find him. He watched her until she came right under the tree and paused, her face so miserable it broke him out of his mood. He'd never seen her look so defeated before.

 

Kagome took a breath to yell his name again when she heard him.

 

“Kagome, why did you have to come looking for me?” he said and she looked above her to spy him on a branch.

 

He had startled her, and she clenched her fists and stamped her foot with an angry growl. She was almost tempted to say you-know-what, but settled for staring up at him with eyes like daggers.

 

“You're so selfish Inu-Yasha!” she said, “You could try and be more sympathetic.”

 

“I have tried!” he said, jumping out of the tree to face her. “Every time I touch you or try to talk to you, you push me away! I don't know what else to do!”

 

A tear slipped out of Kagome's eye, and he instantly regretted yelling at her. Hesitantly he reached out, not knowing if she would pull away, and wiped the tear gently from her cheek.

 

“Let me comfort you Kagome,” he said, “let me try.”

 

Kagome bowed her head and let him take her into an embrace. She breathed in the musky scent of him where he held her against his chest. His heart beat under her ear and she let the steady rhythm calm her. I just have to hold onto this moment, she thought, I just have to not think of anything else.

 

Gently Inu-Yasha took his hand and placing it under her chin, raised her face to look at him. He did not have a lot of experience at tenderness, but he remembered the way his mother used to comfort him when he was a child. Taking what he could from these memories, he kissed her on her forehead, her cheeks, and her nose. He brushed his lips softly against hers, and felt her sigh.

 

“Oh, Inu-Yasha, I'm sorry.” She said.

 

“I'm sorry too Kagome.”

 

She reached up for his kiss again, and he gratefully kissed her, more firmly this time. He let her lead as she deepened the kiss into a luxurious melding of mouths. The warmth of desire so long neglected began to infuse them. He still did not want to be the aggressor, so he only mirrored her as she began to undress him slowly. Soon their clothes lay in a pile around them, and Inu-Yasha was able to see that the sweet body of his lover had healed well. If only she was well healed inside, he thought with a momentary twinge, then quickly brushed the thought aside. If this was what she wanted, he would only be in this moment, would be what ever she needed him to be.

 

Kagome crushed her body up to his, drinking in the warmth, the feel of skin against skin. He was growing hard between them, and she rubbed up against this too, eliciting a hiss of desire from him. She drew him down on top of her on the pile of clothes, but he wasn't ready to take her just yet. Instead, beginning at her face he gently kissed her, working his way down her neck to her shoulders and breasts, following each kiss with a gentle caress.

She arched her back under these ministrations, but he wasn't finished yet. He kissed the inside of each elbow, lingered lovingly on her hipbones with his tongue, brought himself down to kiss and gently nip at her thighs and the underside of her knees. She writhed and gasped beneath him, desire building up in her that desperately needed to be quenched.

 

“Oh, please, stop this torture and make love to me!” she moaned.

 

“Are you sure?” he said, licking her lightly between her legs.

 

“Yes, you fool, I need you inside me now!” she said and tried to grab him and pull him up so she could get at his hard cock from where he now teased her with it.

 

He let her take it in her hand and guide him into her.

 

“Oh, what a relief,” she said as he began to move slowly inside her.

 

But he was being too gentle. After driving her into frenzy, she needed him harder and faster, so she wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed herself up into his thrusts, changing the pace to her liking. She came with a scream that sent all the birds in the surrounding trees to flight at once. He wasn't far behind her, and held her to him, buried deep inside her, as he came.

 

Spent he rolled over so that she was lying on top of him and cradled her close. After catching his breath, he felt her trembling. He felt wetness suddenly on his chest.

 

Tilting her head up to look at him, he said, “What's the matter?”

 

Kagome started sobbing uncontrollably. Great heaving sobs that sounded as if her heart was breaking. She couldn't control them, they just ripped through her leaving her gasping for air. Inu-Yasha didn't know what to do. Had he hurt her in some way? He only wanted to comfort her, and he hadn't done anything she did not want. What happened? She didn't make any moves to pull away, but he felt so helpless nonetheless. He held her until she sobbed herself hoarse, until she stopped sobbing from shear exhaustion.

 

“Are you okay now?” he said after she had quieted.

 

She shook her head yes and sat up.

 

“I'm sorry Inu-Yasha, I'll be okay.” She said but the tone of her voice was not very convincing.

 

“We should get back.” She continued, reaching for her clothes.

 

They dressed silently, but before they returned Inu-Yasha suggested they make a detour to a stream where Kagome could freshen up. Her face was red and puffy from crying, and they did not want to arouse the concern of their friends.

 

Inu-Yasha did not push Kagome to explain what had happened, but as they made their way back it hit him. This was the first time Kagome had had sex with him since she had been raped. He was saddened by the thought that being made love to by the one who loved her could still make her remember what Sesshomaru had done to her.