InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Settle the Score ❯ Stop talking (so loud) ( Chapter 15 )

Author rantings :
Here is the next chapter! It's a bit shorter than usually, but it's at least going where I want it to go. It's actually only part of what I intended for this chapter, but it became very long (12.000+ words), and because I'm still not completely satisfied with the end and keep playing around with it, I decided to post at least the part I'm satisfied with. There's also a change in tone and topic where I split it, so I think it's okay.

I can tell you a good message in return: The next chapter is almost written. I'm still spending a lot of time on fine-tuning, though. The next chapter will have my first OC that will have a second appearance; not too important yet, but I also want to train a bit for my important Original Character.

I keep changing traits and scenes, and have done a lot of research about our beloved Mary Sue. I also added a scene, wrote another and kicked it again, and am now trying my luck with yet another. Anyway, it shouldn't take too long.

Disclaimer :
Nope, last time I checked, it wasn't mine.

Special thanks to :
Much thanks to Tamerlane for doing the betaing again. You're a great help, girl! I'm sorry that my writing is so unstable and I change things all the time. ;)
And to Mikky, for your cool reviews.

Chapter 15

Stop talking so loud, I can hear what you're saying
is what you're saying.

Stop talking (so loud)

Inuyasha stood in the darkness. He couldn't see anything; he couldn't even feel any ground he would have had to stand on. He was just floating there, in the black, timeless void.

After a while, he could make out something amidst the nothingness. He looked away and in, to make sure he wasn't imagining things, but there definitely was something.

He started to walk, feeling that it would bring him closer even if his feet weren't touching ground. He finally saw that it was his mother, waiting there for him. Suddenly he saw a man appear behind her. Inuyasha couldn't recognize the silhouette, but he saw the stranger drawing back the sword in his arm.

"Haha-ue!" he cried. Starting to run, he pointed behind her, trying to draw her attention to the man. She didn't react. "There's someone behind you!"

She looked at him with sad eyes, but didn't move. "Inuyasha, stop!" she commanded in a dire voice. When he did as she said, she continued desperately, "You can't defeat Haranobu. Run away! There's nothing you can do for me."

Inuyasha saw the man grabbing a fistful of her hair, yanking back her head.

"There's nothing you can do..." She trailed off in a despairing voice. She still hadn't moved at all. "Please, Inuyasha, run!" she begged. "You cannot help me. Flee and don't look back!"

The man she had called Haranobu thrust his sword in her neck from behind. Inuyasha stood there, paralyzed, not able to move. The blade slid out her throat. The man looked at him, the eyes gazing at him over his mother's shoulder. Inuyasha recognized the face. He turned around and ran without looking back. "You won't be able to run forever," he heard the man behind him.

Inuyasha looked back, and saw that he didn't gain space, although he was running. He ran faster, but it didn't help. Although his pursuer didn't seem to move, he didn't get away.

The man pulled the sword out of his mother's corpse and pointed it at him. "You are the next."

Inuyasha awoke with a suppressed cry. Before he could calm down, he noticed he was falling. Upside down at that; looking 'up' gave him view of the rapidly nearing earth. Acting on reflex, he stretched out his right arm and rolled off his shoulder when he hit the ground. The first thing he noticed was the still heavy blow to his shoulder, but he had expected that. Only a moment later a sharp twinge assaulted his head, causing him to lose balance when he stood up, completing the roll.

Staggering slightly, he concentrated on a point before his eyes, trying to ignore the pain in his head. He was staring right into the eyes of Kagome. She was looking at him, a startled expression on her face.

"Inuyasha?" she asked with an unsure tone.

Inuyasha looked into the round with a confused expression. Everyone sat around the campfire which Miroku was currently building. The monk had stopped, though, eyeing him like the rest of his friends. "Huh?" Inuyasha brought out, failing to come up with a more intelligible answer.

"Did you fall out of the tree?" Miroku asked.

"Fall out...?"

"Or were you eager to get breakfast?" Sango asked sarcastically.

Inuyasha's brain finally kicked in. 'Falling - Tree.' He looked behind, finding the tree where he expected it. The only thing missing was himself lying up in it. 'I fell out!?' He turned back, folding his arms over his chest. "Why are you all up already?"

"We got up ten minutes ago. You were not awake, so we decided to let you sleep and started without you," Miroku answered.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, but quickly decided otherwise when he noticed the pain increasing in his forehead. Just his luck to finally fall asleep when the others stood up. He saw what they were preparing for breakfast: some vegetarian stuff again. He felt sick just from looking at it and involuntarily took a step back, trying to get the urge to throw up under control.

"Are you okay, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked concerned. The hanyou's face had gone pale from one second to the other.

Inuyasha somehow registered the question, but wasn't really up to answering, much less truthfully. He turned around, they would notice how he felt if they watched him. "I'm out to hunt." Meat would be better. He needed meat.

"Can I come with you?" Shippou asked from behind him.

Inuyasha was in a dilemma. He didn't want to take the fox with him, but he also didn't want to argue. He could imagine the discussion: how much Shippou had to learn hunting from him, and that he shouldn't be pig-headed. "Do what you want."

He heard Shippou follow him. Someone would have likely annoyed him sooner or later, anyway; maybe at least the others would leave him alone, now that Shippou was with him. If they decided to follow him, they wouldn't have far to go; his hunting grounds weren't far off from the camp. Without woods, fishing was the easiest and most promising option. The place they were camping on was slightly elevated, so he went down the slope to the riverbank. Searching for a good spot, he went up the stream.

He thought about his nightmare. The strange thing was that he could remember every detail. He clenched his fist at his mother's death. Was that how she had died? Killed by the fucking guy from his memory? When he had told Kagome about his memory loss, he had left out that he didn't know anything about his mother's fate, but he had told her that he didn't know the name of the guy who had said he bought them. He couldn't remember the name, but he had recognized the face immediately in his dream. The hairs in his neck stood again at the memory. His mother - or, the mother in his dream - had called the man Haranobu. Was that really his name? Or was it only a dream? But why would he make up names in his sleep?

"Dammit," he cursed, clenching his fist. 'I don't know a fucking thing!'

"Inuyasha?" Shippou asked behind him.

"Yeah?" Inuyasha growled. He had almost forgotten that the fox was behind him.

"Are you okay?" Shippou asked uneasily. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to follow the hanyou, when he started the day with cursing for no reason. Maybe he was embarrassed about falling out of the tree?

"Of course," Inuyasha answered curtly.

Shippou was quiet for a while. "Shouldn't we start fishing then? We're not on our way yet."

"Fishing. Yeah, we're far enough," Inuyasha muttered, eyeing the river for a good spot. 'I was fishing right before this guy had arrived, back then.' Was his name really Haranobu? He had to be dead, too. He must have been a human, so after fifty years his chances of survival were roughly the same as his mother's. Why did this guy upset him so much? Maybe he should keep calling him Haranobu, saying 'the guy' all the time would just serve to make him angrier.

Shippou watched the hanyou. Inuyasha was staring into the water, obviously far away in thoughts. He found it creepy. "Inuyasha?" he asked warily. The hanyou turned towards him abruptly, causing Shippou to flinch slightly. Although this situation was completely different, his last experience with Inuyasha at a river had been very unpleasant. But Inuyasha just looked down to him, so Shippou relaxed again.

"Inuyasha, I thought we wanted to fish?"

"Well, if you are so greedy for fish, it will be best to catch them yourself." Inuyasha was pleased with his idea. If the fox caught the fish, he could relax in the meantime. 'That is, if Shippou doesn't annoy me.' But why not make the best out of the situation? "Hunting and fishing is important, so this is a good opportunity for you to learn."

Shippou nodded, waiting for Inuyasha to continue.

"Most fish are facing upstream because, that way, food is drifting right into their mouths," Inuyasha began to explain. "If you make use of that, you'll be able to catch them easier. Approach them from behind, and they won't see you coming."

Inuyasha rubbed his temple, thinking of what else was to explain. "Also, they might feel you coming if you wade in the water. Jumping them from the shore or from rocks in the water might work better. Generally, I find fishing around the stones easier."

Shippou nodded and listed what the hanyou had told him. Inuyasha supported what the fox had said and continued, "Fish are slippery, so skewering them with your claws works better. You can also try a quick swipe to throw them on the river bank. In the end, it comes down to reflexes and experience. And, don't forget that water makes things appear at a different angle. You must compensate that, but after some tries you'll get the feel."

Shippou knew what Inuyasha meant. When he put his arm into the water, it appeared broken where the water met the air. "Anything else?"

Inuyasha shook his head. "It's not that complicated. Just go ahead and try," he encouraged. When the fox headed for the river, Inuyasha sat down and lay back. Closing the eyes wasn't really better, so he decided to watch Shippou's tries. The scene reminded him of himself and thoughts drifted off again. He had caught fish for him and his mother more than once. It actually was the last thing he remembered doing for her.

"What are you thinking about?" Shippou interrupted his thoughts.

"About the past. Stuff like that," Inuyasha answered casually. 'I can't have a single calm minute, can I?' he grumbled mentally. How should he sort out his thoughts if he got interrupted all the time?

Shippou was quite for a while after that answer. "Inuyasha? Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" Inuyasha asked in annoyed tone.

"I... Do you - Do you remember your parents?" Shippou asked hesitantly. He had thought about them yesterday, and somehow the fact that he started to forget them hadn't left him alone since then.

"Eh?" Inuyasha asked, taken aback. "My parents?"

"You know, their faces and their voices. Their smell."

"Hmm. I don't know nothing 'bout my father; Haha-ue told me that he died when I was five. But I can remember my mother very well. Her voice, her face, her way of doing things... She could get very serious if need be, but also -" Inuyasha stopped. "Why are you asking?"

"I've thought about my parents yesterday. I can't even remember their faces clearly." Shippou's voice lowered, he was staring into the water. "Is that... normal?"

"Normal, normal. Nothing is normal. You're a child and haven't seen them for months. Some remember, some not. Don't worry. Take me, I don't remember a thing 'bout my father. Changes nothing anyway."

Shippou noticed the indifference in the hanyou's tone. "But you said you remember your mother."

"Yeah."

Shippou was quiet again. Inuyasha didn't remember his father, because he had been too young. 'And Inuyasha has said that I'm also too young.' It had been worrying him, but he felt a bit better now. 'Changes nothing anyway,' he remembered Inuyasha's words. They weren't wrong, but sure showed a cold way to look at things. The hanyou claimed to remember his own mother, though. "Looks like you have a better memory than me."

"Maybe, maybe not." Inuyasha shook his head, calming himself down. No need to add to his headache. "And I thought you wanted to fish," he said, pointing at the river.

For the next minutes, the hanyou had his peace. Beside Shippou splashing with water when he tried to catch a fish, nothing did disturb Inuyasha. He closed his eyes for a short while, but felt too exposed and opened them again.

He was becoming tired from looking over his shoulder. Was he going insane? Maybe his queasy feelings were aligned with the dreams? That maybe was it; they were telling him to rush to the village because of the new moon. But why now, all of a sudden? He had always hid during new moon, but he had never experienced something like this. He hadn't slept for more than a few hours for the last four days. Always awake. Not able to calm down, relax. Always ready. He felt like fighting or running, but was forced into this fucking comfortable stroll.

"Yes!" Shippou called from the river. The fox had finally caught a fish and threw it on the riverbank. Inuyasha stood up and went to pick it up, but stopped half-ways. He felt his stomach rebel again. 'Fine, I got it, no fish either!' he cursed at his stomach. To justify standing up, he knelt down and killed the fish with his claws, holding his breath to avoid smelling the offending taste. "No need to let it struggle to death," he explained and stood up.

"After the next one, we're leaving," he told the fox and walked back to his place. If he couldn't eat the fish, there was no point in staying and wasting time.

Shippou proved himself being a fast learner again, catching his next fish after only a minute. The two headed back together with the catch.

"Here, eat one, too" Shippou said, offering Inuyasha one of his two fishes, and took a bite from the other.

"Thanks, I'll keep it for later." Inuyasha took it. He noticed the fox giving him a suspicious look and decided to distract him. "Why didn't you eat Kagome's breakfast? Is not as good as you make it sound?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well, only rice all the time isn't good," was all that Shippou answered, grinning back.

"Figures." Inuyasha had wondered if the fox was also picking up Kagome's eating habits, but it looked like Shippou was staying true to his nature.

He eyed the sky, it looked like it would turn out like another fine day. It should help them in reaching the village today; if they were quick, they could make it there this evening. He hoped that the others would see the practicality of that, they would have at least one free day because of the new moon. If they didn't waste time, it shouldn't be a real problem.

Inuyasha saw that they reached the camp and went up the slope. He saw Kagome and Kirara sitting on one side of the meanwhile burning fire, Miroku and Sango on the other. They were finishing their breakfast, but Inuyasha couldn't help but feel annoyed at their tardiness. 'I'm teaching Shippou how to fish in the time they need to eat breakfast!'

"Hi, Inuyasha," Kagome greeted him, noticing him first. She continued a bit hesitantly, "How are you feeling?"

Inuyasha found everyone staring at him. He guessed that they had been talking about him and his fall out of the tree. "I'm fine."

"Are you feeling ill?"

Inuyasha snorted. "Course not!"

"Don't act as if there's nothing wrong. I'm not blind, you know?" Kagome said, intending to peg away this time.

"And what are your all-seeing eyes telling you?" Inuyasha asked sarcastically.

"That you have some kind of problem!" Kagome shot back with conviction.

"I said I'm fine!" Inuyasha growled.

Miroku was surprised at Inuyasha's outburst. It was clear that he was not fine. "Inuyasha, what is going on? You're not this edgy usually."

"Keh! Instead of worrying you should rather pack and get going!"

"Why such a hurry, Inuyasha?" Sango asked cynically.

"You know damn well why," Inuyasha responded, finding himself cornered by all of his friends. "If you're continuing to chatter here, I'm going ahead," he said, turning around.

"Inuyasha, you stay here and tell us what's wrong," Kagome said. She had enough of Inuyasha's foul mood; she had kept up with it yesterday and the day before. She was finally sure that something was going on, and she wanted to know what. Miroku and especially Sango also had to feel the same.

"Keh!" Instead of really answering, Inuyasha set into motion.

"Inuyasha, stop!" Kagome called.

"Meet you in the village," Inuyasha said with a wave of his hand.

Kagome got up. "Osuwari!" she finally shouted.

Kagome expected a length of curses, but instead Inuyasha's snarl changed into a gurgling sound when he hit the ground.

Inuyasha thought that his head exploded. He didn't know what noises escaped him, and he didn't care. He retched a few times, but his stomach was empty. He saw colors dancing before his eyes. 'My head!' His head had never hurt like this. He retched again and brought up a bit gastric acid, letting it seep out of his mouth.

"Inuyasha?" He became aware of a voice behind him, piercing through the pain he feared would split his head in two. He was still held to the ground, not that he would have moved otherwise.

"Inuyasha, what's going on?"

Kagome.

He felt someone touch his shoulder, sending another wave of pain through his head. "Don't - touch me."

He felt the hand retract. Then, the strain to his neck also vanished. Inuyasha breathed in, even that made his head feel like a knife was being twisted in it. He tried to get his breathing under control by forcing himself to breathe slowly and regularly. "Fuck," he cursed quietly, partially glad that nobody could see him, or at least his face. He cautiously opened his eyes and noticed that he had water in them. Fortunately, there wasn't much, and he could blink it away.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked again. "How are you feeling?"

He still didn't answer her, but at least she saw him move one hand to his head. Finally, he stood up, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. When she saw him staggering slightly, she reached forward to steady him. He made a step away, looking at her with a threatened expression. A moment later he lost his balance and fell to his knee, catching his fall with one hand. He lowered his head slightly, still holding it with his other hand.

Taken aback, Kagome needed a second to catch herself. 'Don't touch me,' she remembered his words. Inuyasha had never looked threatened at her. Inuyasha had never been threatened of her. "Inuyasha?" She felt stupid for calling his name all the time, but she didn't know what else to say.

Sango watched the scene, mystified by the hanyou's behavior. She was sure that he had thrown up earlier. 'What's wrong with him?' she thought, watching the kneeling hanyou, his lowered face indistinguishable. She looked at Miroku, who was standing next to her; judging from his startled expression, the same thoughts were running through his head.

"I'm okay," Inuyasha gritted out through his teeth. "Just get your stuff packed."

"You're not! Tell me what's wrong," Kagome said half appellatively, half encouragingly.

"Or you do what? Sit me again?" Inuyasha asked bitterly.

"Of course not!"

Inuyasha was silent. After a while, he laid back on the ground, rubbing his temples, his eyes closed. "My head... It's killing me."

"You've got a headache?" Miroku asked with surprised voice.

"Could you just get the damn stuff packed?" Inuyasha growled, not moving his head.

Kagome nodded at the monk. Miroku shot Inuyasha a final glance, then went back to the camp with Sango to pack their belongings. Shippou trailed after them after another nod of the miko, looking behind over his shoulder with a confused expression.

Kagome turned back to Inuyasha when they were out of immediate earshot. They wouldn't hear her if she talked quietly. "Inuyasha, tell me what's bothering you. I've never noticed you having a headache before."

Inuyasha was quiet, just lying on his back and breathing regularly. His face relaxed gradually, and after a minute he sat up again.

"Is it better?" Kagome asked.

"Not really," Inuyasha admitted. "But it shouldn't hinder me too much."

"Not hinder you?" Kagome asked disbelievingly.

"I guess I'll have to watch out not to bang my head." Inuyasha tried to look encouraging but, judging from Kagome's expression, wasn't too successful.

"Tell me what's wrong," Kagome tried again. "There's something going on, and it's hurting you."

"Keh!" Inuyasha snorted. If he disagreed, she'd just shove the fact he let a simple headache distract him under his nose. It also didn't look like Kagome would back down, she kept asking what was going on. "I didn't sleep well lately, I guess that's why I'm having a headache," he admitted finally.

"What means 'not well'? And how long is lately?"

Inuyasha squirmed under her questioning stare. He should have known that she would keep asking. "In the beginning, I just woke up earlier. But recently, I haven't slept at all. Today for maybe an hour," he answered, keeping to the truth for now. He wasn't up to inventing stories.

"When did that start?" Kagome asked.

"Only recently."

"When is recently?" Kagome stressed every word.

"Five days ago, I think," Inuyasha admitted.

"You've been without sleep for almost a week?" Kagome asked incredulously. A human would break down after two days or maybe three, especially under straining conditions. She remembered how tired she had been after only one day and a half; when she had stayed up until afternoon of the next day during the celebration of new year, she couldn't have kept her eyes open for longer. But all she got from Inuyasha after five days was the admittance of a headache.

"I told you it wasn't that bad in the beginning!" Inuyasha defended himself.

"And when did it become bad?" Kagome retaliated. Inuyasha didn't answer her, but looked away. 'Thought so.' Why did he always have to keep his problems to himself? Why hadn't he just asked for a day off, so he could recover? "Do you know why you can't sleep?"

"I -" Inuyasha struggled with himself. If he didn't tell her, pretending he didn't know, she might believe him. "I don't -" On the other hand, maybe she and her friends would go faster if she knew why he was driving them on, even if it was a cheap reason. "I thought that... I think that it's because I want to reach the village this time."

"Because of the new moon?" Kagome asked, hoping she didn't say too much. Inuyasha didn't like them talking directly about his transformation, reasoning that Naraku could eavesdrop anytime. For now, Inuyasha didn't seem to care, but just nodded in response to her question.

"Has this happened before?" she asked quietly.

Inuyasha shook his head.

"Then it could be something else, couldn't it?"

Inuyasha shrugged with his shoulders. "I don't know. It's just the most obvious thing coming to my mind. I mean, the... timing is fitting, and I also wanted to make it back before this mess started."

He looked to his side suddenly, but relaxed when he saw it were only Miroku and Sango, who were walking towards them. It looked like they were prepared for departure, in the background Kirara was waiting patiently with Shippou. They had loaded the cat with the rest of their supplies again.

"I thought Kirara would be given a rest today?" Inuyasha asked.

"Would you rather carry our supplies yourself?" Miroku asked in return. Kirara had agreed to carry the supplies one more day because of the hanyou's condition.

"Would be no problem!" Inuyasha declared.

'Yeah,' Kagome thought. She turned towards Miroku and Sango and asked them if it was okay if Inuyasha and she went ahead a bit. The two agreed, although they looked curious. 'I guess they'll also want to know...' she thought, although she had this feeling that Inuyasha would want her to keep silent. Well, the main reason was that she thought that Inuyasha hadn't told her everything. Even if he was worried about his transformation into a human, it didn't justify acting like he was. Inuyasha looked like he knew what she was planning, but didn't complain. Kagome walked ahead with him.

"Inuyasha, is there something more?" she asked when they were out of hearing range.

Inuyasha looked behind. They were far enough that even Shippou shouldn't be able to follow their conversation. He turned back towards Kagome. "You absolutely must not tell them."

Kagome was prepared for that. "Inuyasha, you can trust me. I didn't tell them about your... past, did I?"

He nodded, contemplating how to begin. It was hard to describe it with words. "I have a feeling; that there is something - someone out there. I can't tell why I have this feeling, or about what exactly." He shrugged. "It's just - there."

Kagome looked around herself after Inuyasha's admission, also sensing for a Shikon shard or other unusual auras. "From which direction?" she asked after not finding anything.

"I don't know!" Inuyasha exclaimed exasperated. He waved with his hands, annoyed at how stupid this must sound. "It's... I don't know, in the air. Everywhere. I sometimes think I smell something, but then it's gone. I think I hear something, but there is nothing!" Inuyasha clenched his fists. "I don't know what is going on. I tried to track it down, without success. I couldn't even tell in which direction I should search."

"Inuyasha, calm down," Kagome soothed, surprised at Inuyasha's outburst.

Inuyasha relaxed his hands. "I guess I'm just overcautious because I don't get enough sleep. But I don't want to take any chances. If there really is something out there, it would be better if we were in the village." And he could send Kagome to her time should something happen.

Kagome nodded. "If you think you can sleep better there, I guess we can make it to the village today. You should have told us sooner!"

"It wasn't that bad. Even yesterday I didn't have a headache, it started just this morning. I don't want to worry you over nothing." Even now he was embarrassed for not being able to tell why he couldn't sleep or felt followed.

"Is there something else?" Kagome asked.

Yes, there were nightmares with that bastard showing up; was his name really Haranobu? There was his mother being repeatedly killed in his dreams. There was the urge to snap and just run, to leave it all behind. There was part of him that didn't care what would happen to his friends then.

"No, that's all."

So, that's it for now. I hope Inuyasha was the right mix between ill-tempered and sleep-deprived. As always, suggestions, critique and encouragement is welcome!

The song and title epigraph is from Pitchshifter. Great band, a bit like Prodigy maybe, but definitely top notch Metal.