InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ She Who the Prophecy Foretold ❯ In Flight Conversation and Contemplation ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Inuyasha & co. belong to the illustrious Rumiko Takahashi. I do, however, own all my original characters and this plotline.

 

 

Chapter 3 - In Flight Conversation and Contemplation

 

Kagome stood frozen, her eyes wide, unsure of how to react. Sesshoumaru had just held his hand out to her, waiting for her to take it. When she didn't respond or move at all he became frustrated and stalked to her quickly, wrapping his only arm around her waist, and took to the skies. Now Kagome was afraid. He could smell the overwhelming fear covering her sweet scent. The scent of her fear riled his beast, the beast demanding they put an end to it. He was confused as to why she was frightened as well as why it mattered so much to his beast. She had never been afraid of him before, no matter the situation, so why now, and more importantly why did he care?

 

Kagome didn't know what to do. Here she was in Sesshoumaru's arm, held close to his body, which if she had taken the time to think about it was kind of nice, but she could focus on nothing but the fact that they were floating way, way, way too high off the ground, on a cloud of all things! Not only that but they were moving fast, much faster than she had ever gone on Inuyasha's back. `Inuyasha…' For a moment Kagome thought of her hanyou. He would be worried when she didn't arrive. She didn't want to tell them because she knew they would all be against it and Inuyasha would never have let her go. She felt bad about it but there wasn't much choice. Besides, Sesshoumaru had swept her up so quickly she barely had time to get a tighter grip on her bag before she dropped it.

 

Sesshoumaru was almost relieved when the scent of fear lessened as his beast stopped fighting his control but then it was then replaced with the scent of her sadness. He felt tightness in his chest, a tugging at his heart, but he didn't know what it was or what it meant and he refused to contemplate it further. All he knew was he wanted… no needed her to stop smelling sad and afraid. He had to do something but he didn't know what. Not knowing how to handle a situation was something Sesshoumaru was not fond of. After a few moments of hectic thought in his head, he decided to distract her.

 

“Miko, now would be a good time to ask your questions. It will take over an hour to reach this Sesshoumaru's home.”

 

Kagome was dragged from her thoughts by his deep, smooth voice. She could actually feel him speak, the vibrations passing from his chest to her back and his warm breath caressing her ear and the side of her neck. She was certainly distracted but not in the way he had intended. When she failed to ask a question he started without her. It seemed he needed a distraction as well before she was made aware of just how he felt about her proximity. He despised the reaction of his traitorous body to her scent and the heat he could feel radiating from her small form through to his much larger one. She was nothing but a filthy human but it seemed that he had no control over the affect she had on him or his beast, which was once again pulling at its chains and demanding things of him that he absolutely refused to give, no matter how much he might secretly want them too.

 

“Miko, pay attention. I will not repeat myself.” He tried to sound calm, hard, and controlled, his usual stoic façade, but his voice did not quite obey. Instead his voice was deep, soft, and warm. He felt her shift slightly and tilt her head to show she was listening. Refusing to think of how it felt to have her shift her body against his or how she had presented him with the full expanse of her neck in a wonderfully submissive action, he launched into his story. “This Sesshoumaru was patrolling my lands when a messenger found me, requesting I return home immediately. It seems that I had arrived home yesterday and immediately went to check on the well-being of my pups. I closed the door behind me and moments later the servants heard the pups begin to scream and cry. They attempted to gain access to the room but there was a barrier on the door. They tried the balcony doors as well but the barrier was strong and they could not cross it or break it. All they could do was listen to the cries of their charges, my sons.

 

“After the sounds ceased, they found the barrier was gone. When they entered the room, all signs of who they'd thought to be this Sesshoumaru were gone, the balcony doors were open, and the pups were all unconscious. They quickly deduced that who they saw was indeed not I but an imposter. They sent word to this Sesshoumaru immediately. Both the body double and the barrier lead me to believe Naraku was behind it. My healers immediately tried to wake the pups but all their efforts failed. They have determined that the pups have been cursed by a dark miko by their current state.” He paused, waiting to see if the girl had any questions.

 

Kagome was torn. She felt awful for what had happened to his pups but she was also enthralled by his voice. She had never heard him speak so much at once and it was an experience she would love to have repeated over and over again. She had to fight to keep listening to him. It would be way too embarrassing if she had to ask him to repeat himself because she had been distracted by his sexy voice. Yes, she was definitely intent on paying attention to what he was actually saying no matter how hard it was.

 

With that determined, Kagome decided to ask a question. “What exactly has happened with the pups, besides being unconscious, that makes your healers think that they're cursed?”

 

“They cannot maintain one form. They switch constantly between their humanoid and their true forms. Their demonic energy is diminishing, as if they are being drained. The healers can find no other cause for their state. Some can sense the presence of the curse of a dark miko, those with greater age and experience. No course of action has affected them. The curse is strong and thus can only be countered by a pure miko. This is why I sought you out.” He hated admitting his need because it proved his weakness. He was disgusted with himself for his failure to protect his young. If they survived, changes would be made to ensure their continued safety. He had always thought his palace to be secure. His assumption had landed him in the position to be at the mercy of a human female. At least it was a human female for which he had a small amount of respect, the only one so far to have earned such an honor.

 

“I'm so sorry Sesshoumaru! That sounds awful to not be able to help your own pups.” She missed his uncontrollable but quick grimace at the blatant truth of her statement. She saw him as weak. He had expected it but he had not expected how the knowledge made him feel. He was not supposed to feel at all, let alone feel things because of a human! “I am glad you thought to come to me. I will try my hardest to bring them back to you. How many pups are there?”

 

Sesshoumaru let a small smirk spread slowly across his face since she couldn't see him anyway, pushing his previous thoughts out of his mind forcefully. He knew the miko's reaction to his answer would be an entertaining one. “Seven,” he said slowly.

 

“Holy shi…I mean, damn, I mean, sorry, wow. Seven? I didn't even know you had a mate, let alone seven pups!” His smirk spread and he had to hold down a chuckle. He was not disappointed by her response.

 

“This Sesshoumaru has not taken a mate. I was merely in need of an heir. Thus I selected three bitches of good breeding to carry my pups. Once they were born, the mothers delivered them to me and were dismissed.” He had not thought of how the miko would respond to that knowledge but the way she responded was definitely not it. Why did it matter what she thought anyway?

 

Kagome gasped at his callousness. “They just left their children, I mean pups? How could they?”

 

He found himself trying to explain the situation in a way that didn't make him seem cold and uncaring, but he soon found that there was no way to do so, at least not in the loving eyes of Kagome. “It is the youkai way, at least among the upper class. If one does not desire to take a mate heirs can be obtained easily and without extensive difficulty. High class bitches have no concern for their pups, no desire to rear them. Even if they were mated the pups would be raised by nurses. Inu of good quality are limited and I did not find any of them worthy of becoming the mate of this Sesshoumaru. They served their purpose. I do not wish to have to repeat the process. The bitches were insufferable while pupped.” `And no female would wish to mate this Sesshoumaru, at least not one who is not after my wealth and power.'

 

Kagome was speechless for a while. “That's…that's just so…cold. So your pups have no mother? Just nurses?”

 

Once again Sesshoumaru wished that he had thought his words through before speaking. What was it about this female? Sesshoumaru had never need to second guess himself before, so why now? “Nurses are sufficient. Women coddling them would only make them soft. They are the heirs of this Sesshoumaru and thus must be strong and powerful.”

 

A small tear slid down her cheek at his words. His pups would never know the love of a mother. Everyone needs a mother. She didn't know what she would do without hers. Another tear joined the first. She thought then of her kit, her Shippo. Instantly she was sobbing violently, tears streaming down her face.

 

Sesshoumaru was stiff as a statue behind her. He had not meant to make her cry. He didn't expect her to care, let alone shed tears. He was trying to make the explanation as simple as possible. He hadn't wanted to upset the girl. He had left out quite a few things; the knowledge of which he was now sure would have upset her further. She did not need to know that the bitches would have killed their pups had he not removed them, just to be rid of them. She did not need to know that inu bitches had lost all mothering instincts centuries ago as they became selfish, lustful, greedy creatures. She did not need to know that he managed to grow up without a mother so he knew they would survive. His mother, before she died, was a rarity. Mated to his father to cement an alliance, expected to deliver an heir, she chose to love the child despite his father's indifference. He remembered, just barely, how it felt to be loved.

 

Once she died he had never experienced such a thing again. His father was cold and impersonal. It was obvious he held no affections for his own son, merely expected him to follow orders, learn his lessons, and be the perfect heir. No, there was no love between him and his father. It was merely business. He would prefer his pups had a mother so that they could experience the love he had felt, if only for a short time, but none would do. None were good enough and he didn't have the luxury of unlimited time to search. He needed an heir to take his place should he be killed so that the lands his family had ruled for century after century would not fall, so he had followed his father's example and handled the need of heirs in a business-like manner as well. Feelings need not be involved.

 

He hated the scent of her sadness, the salty tang of her tears. He hated even more the knowledge that she cried because of him, because of his cold demeanor, the mask he held up for the world to see. He didn't know what to do, how to soothe her, but he wanted it to stop. Thinking back, he remembered a time when he had fallen during training and been injured. His father had been disgusted by his tears. He was expected to act as his heir should despite his age, only a mere two human years at the time though he appeared around six years old, and crying certainly wasn't it. His mother though had held him close to her, leaning his head on her chest and softly ran her hands down his back, her touch easing the pain in his body and mind. She had told him then that tears were not bad, that no matter what his father had said, sometimes tears were necessary and that feeling things was not wrong.

 

After her death though, his father had been quick to drill his opinion on the matter into him. No tears, ever. Feelings were unnecessary; they were a waste of time and only showed weakness. His father had trained him, punishing him until he learned how to hold his stoic, unfeeling mask at all times. Pushing the memories to the back of his mind he did the only thing he knew how to do. He turned her slowly in his arm, resting his hand on her back, rubbing soothingly, carefully imitating the motions of his mother. Kagome placed her face on his unarmored shoulder, buried deep within the soft fur of his mokomoko that which, upon feeling her pressed into it, curled around her waist gently. She jumped, startled for a moment before relaxing into the hold. She was too upset to worry about how his `boa-thingie' moved on its own. She would ask later.

 

“Do not cry miko. My pups are well cared for and will grow up strong.” He was unsure of what to say to make her feel better, to stop the tears. If it hadn't been for the howling of his beast and the strange tugging at his heart he would have ignored the girl and her tears, but either or both kept his voice as soft and as soothing as he could muster. No one would have believed it. Sesshoumaru, killing perfection, the aristocratic assassin attempting to soothe the sadness of a human woman, a miko! If anyone had seen it he would surely have had to kill them simply to maintain his reputation.

 

“I… I… know you…will ensure they are… cared for. But I still (sniffle) think that everyone needs… a mother. I couldn't have made it this far (sniffle) without mine.” Sesshoumaru acknowledged her statement with a nod but did not know how to respond so he stayed silent, still running his hand softly up and down the curve of her back.

He really didn't know if he agreed with her or not. He hadn't thought of the comfort and love his mother had given him in years, repressing the memories until he was almost convinced that they had never occurred in the first place. He had spent every moment since her death trying to gain his father's approval and sitting around moping over the loss certainly wouldn't do it, not that anything else did either. He never measured up to the standards he was held to. His father never found any good in him, never gave his approval or his time, and most definitely not his love. No, only Izayoi and Inuyasha ever were good enough for his father's love. Somehow Inuyasha was not measured on the same scale as he was. Somehow Inuyasha made his father proud and deserved the love he himself craved so much. As his mind swirled with thoughts he felt were better off lost forever he held the girl that brought them all up again close to himself, almost as if he were afraid to lose her. Maybe he was. Slowly her sobs quieted, her tears slowed, and she calmed in his hold. The remainder of their flight was silent, but it was not uncomfortable.

 

As they approached his palace he softly turned her and directed her to look. She let out a soft gasp and a whisper he barely caught about the beauty. He felt an unexpected rush of pride that the miko approved of his home. Once he dug himself out of his pit of self pity that he'd thought had been completely obliterated long ago he contemplated why he was bothered that the girl seemed disappointed in the circumstances of his fatherhood. But who could be expected to mate a demon such as himself? All females were frightened of him, every single one he had ever been in the presence except for two, the one he held in his arm now and the little one he protected as his own. The only females besides the afore mentioned two who could force down their fear enough to be in anywhere near him were only doing so to gain his wealth and power and he detested them for it. He did not want a woman who had to fight her fear in his presence. While he in general enjoyed the smell of fear, it was not a scent one wanted from your mate. His mate should at the very least be comfortable with him.

 

He refused to mate for political reasons. He would not be like his father and mate a female and then ignore her and betray her with anyone that happened to be convenient. Sesshoumaru found the idea dishonorable. His mother had suffered enough with his father's indifference to her and he had been present to witness every moment, every insult, every bit of loneliness, and every single tear. He refused to repeat it. Inus mated for life, or were supposed to, and he intended to do so as well. If he did ever choose a mate he would remain faithful to her as was right, proper, and honorable, but he doubted it would ever happen. He didn't believe in love anyway so his choice seemed the only solution to his need for heirs and it was successful. He now had his heirs. That was all that mattered, right?