InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ She Who the Prophecy Foretold ❯ Memories of a Demon Lord ( Chapter 38 )

Chapter 38 - Memories of a Demon Lord

 

 

The group had returned with a large deer, or what used to be a large deer. They had gutted and skinned it; bring back nice slabs of meat. By then Sango and Kagome were awake enough to move and, after carefully laying a still sleeping Rin back on the bedding, set about cutting it into cubes and skewering them to cook over the flames.

 

The boys and Sesshoumaru had actually taken down three deer, having been fairly hungry themselves, but since they had wanted theirs raw they chose to eat away from camp. They weren't sure how Kagome would react. It had taken Shippo a minute to try it. He hadn't eaten anything uncooked since he had met Kagome. She had always prepared his food. But once he did try it the little fox remembered how much better it was fresh and bloody and had gorged himself until his little tummy puffed out. They had washed their hands and faces in the stream before returning, making sure to leave no evidence behind.

 

When the meat was finished cooking Kagome offered some to the boys and had been surprised when they said they weren't hungry. She glanced at Sesshoumaru who had explained silently and very carefully, all the while watching her reaction. He had expected her to be bothered by it. Most humans would be. But then once again Kagome was not like other humans. She simply nodded and told the others to dig in.

 

Miroku ended up eating too much and was now lying on his back moaning about his poor stomach. Sango simply laughed at him while Kagome searched around the area for a few minutes before finding what she was looking for. She picked it and handed it to the moaning monk. “Here, chew on this. It will help you feel better faster.” He looked at her with love plainly visible in his eyes before thanking her and taking the herb.

 

She had woken Rin to eat as well and once everyone was full, or over full as the case may be, Kagome and Sango gathered their things to go wash up. Kagome had long ago taught Sango of the benefits of brushing her teeth and ever since the slayer had had her own brush and toothpaste. Kagome excused them, telling Sesshoumaru they would return shortly. He had been very reluctant to let her go but eventually gave in after making sure she took her bow and arrows and that Kazue and Kirara were following.

 

After a good tooth brushing and face washing Kagome explained to Sango the process and watched as the fire cat bonded with her long time companion and friend. She watched as Sango nearly cried when she first heard Kirara speak to her. After a few minutes Kirara completed the process with Kagome, ending up with a pink teardrop of her own. No mark had shown up when Sango had done it though, so Kagome had one more question to pose to the demon lord. It seemed like every time one question was answered two more sprang up.

 

When they returned to camp Kagome stretched out her senses, searching for her missing hanyou. Finding no trace of him she asked Sesshoumaru. “Can you feel Inuyasha anywhere? I can't sense him so he must be pretty far away.”

 

The demon lord extended his own senses and also came up empty. “I cannot sense him either. I'm sure he is fine.”

 

“Yeah, Kagome. He probably just needed some time alone to think. I'm sure he will return soon.” Miroku tried to ease her worries but fell short.

 

“I guess it's possible, but he left without saying anything. Not that he could, though. Probably still couldn't talk since his jaw was broken and all.” She shot a playful glare at the taiyoukai leaning against a tree trunk. She stood then, and gathered her books once more. “I'm going to find a nice shady place to study. You guys wanna go play in the field you were in yesterday?” She received a chorus of positive responses and began to walk away. She was stopped short however when a clawed hand landed on her shoulder. “Yes? Can I help you?” she asked as she turned to him with a grin. He simply took the books from her hands and walked away, leaving her to run to catch up.

 

They had settled under the same tree as the day before, both watching as the children ran and played. After a while Kagome turned to him. “So when do you want to start sharing the memories you want to show Inuyasha? Have you decided which ones you want to use yet?”

 

“Yes, I have decided. There are quite a few, though, so I believe it would be best if we do so over a period of a few days rather than all at once. I do not wish to overwhelm you. And you do have studying to do as well.”

 

“Alright, then why don't you show me some and I'll show you some. Then I'll study for a while and we can do it again. A couple a day should be good, right?” He nodded at her and watched as she lay back in the grass. “So, you want to start?”

 

He lay next to her, thinking for a moment, trying to decide where to start. Eventually he chose and concentrated. Soon Kagome found herself back at the palace, in the same room as she had slept in.

 

~Start Memory~

 

In front of her lay a beautiful but very tired looking demoness, her body propped up by pillows. She had long silver hair and markings identical to those of Sesshoumaru graced her cheeks and forehead. Her skin was pale, much more pale than could be healthy. Kagome could tell she was ill. Glancing around the room she caught her reflection, seeing a young Sesshoumaru who looked very much like Yoshikazu, maybe a little older, but with sad, puffy eyes, tears sliding slowly down his cheeks. The sorrow that surrounded him was evident and Kagome could tell not only from the reflection but because she could feel his fear and despair as if it were her own.

 

“Mother, please don't leave me. I cannot do this without you. Don't leave me alone.”

 

“You will not be alone my son. Your father will be with you.” Her voice was low and strained, as if the simple act of talking was more than she could bear.

 

“That's not the same and you know it! He doesn't care about me. He doesn't love me, mother. All that matters to him is that he has an heir.”

 

“I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru. I don't want to leave you. I don't. I love you. I will always love you, even after I am gone. Promise me you will not forget what I have told you. You are important, my son. You are destined for great things, so long as you do not close your heart.” She reached out for him, her arms shaking with strain as she lifted them, and he moved closer, resting his head on her chest near her shoulder and feeling her run her hands though his hair. Her movement slowed and then her hands dropped to her sides. He pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were closed. She looked like she was merely sleeping but he knew differently. He could no longer hear her heart beat. She was gone and he was alone.

 

~

 

Before Kagome could think about what she had just seen she found herself standing in a dojo looking up at a demon who had to have been Sesshoumaru's father. He was yelling, disappointed once again with his son. She listened to his angry words as he `taught' his son how to be the Lord of the Western lands.

 

“Your mother is dead, Sesshoumaru. Forget about her. There is no reason for tears. There is never a reason for tears. The heir of the western lands does not cry! It is despicable. Let no one see what you are feeling. Never let feelings take precedence. They are useless, unnecessary. All that matters is your power. You need to train harder!” He turned his back on the boy, his son by blood alone. “You will train until you get it right. You will study until you have learned. You disappoint me, Sesshoumaru. Do not let it happen again.” The demon stormed out of the room and several demons dressed as guards entered and began to attack. The child fought them off without effort, knocking them away as it they were mere dolls. All the while she could feel the devastation in Sesshoumaru's heart and soul. His mother had only just died days before but he had been allowed no time to mourn. His father acted as if she had never existed at all.

 

~

 

The scene had changed again and now she could see Sesshoumaru's father holding a woman, a human woman, declaring his love and devotion. Kagome could feel the surprise young Sesshoumaru had felt, the jealousy he held for the woman who was worthy of his father's attentions when he himself was not. She could feel the anger that his father could love this woman but never cared for his mother. How was she better? What was it about her that made her worthy? What could he do to get his father's approval? The woman turned slightly and Kagome could see her swollen stomach. It was then she realized who she was looking at. The human woman was Izayoi and she was pregnant with Inuyasha.

 

~

 

Now she could see Izayoi resting in a beautiful bed, propped up with pillows in the same manner as his mother had been. It was not, however, the room she had seen earlier. This room was done up in reds rather than the silver and blues of his mother's chambers. Izayoi was holding a small bundle, looking down at it with love. She watched from the foot of the bed where the young Sesshoumaru stood, curious about the bundle. It did not smell the same as he or his father. She saw as Lord Inutaisho walked in, completely ignoring the young boy standing there as he approached the smiling woman and took the bundle in his arms.

 

“His name shall be Inuyasha. He is a beautiful child, Izayoi, my love. Perfect in every way.” Young Sesshoumaru watched in silent pain as his father cooed at the child, whispering of his love and devotion. Without even lifting his head to take his eyes off his new son he spoke to his heir. “Sesshoumaru, there is no reason for you to be present. You should be training. Go.”

 

~

 

The scene had changed again. Inuyasha was no longer a baby now as Sesshoumaru watched from the distance as his father played with the young hanyou, smiling and laughing. When he caught sight of his elder son, however, his smile disappeared. He set the younger boy down before walking over to Sesshoumaru.

 

“Sesshoumaru, you are never going to be strong enough to rule over the western lands. You should be attending to your studies. Not standing around wasting time. Perhaps I should make Inuyasha my heir. Surely he would do a much better job than you.” Inutaisho turned and returned to little Inuyasha, lifting him in his arms and into a hug. “I love you, Inuyasha. Your daddy loves you. You are such a smart boy. I know you will grow up to make me proud.” Once more Kagome could feel the jealousy and pain young Sesshoumaru was feeling. No matter how hard he tried it was never enough.

 

~

 

The scene changed once more. Sesshoumaru was running in the gardens playing with his younger half-brother. Their father was no where to be seen. Kagome could feel the love he felt for his little brother despite the jealousy. He knew it wasn't Inuyasha's fault that their father loved one son and ignored the other. They stopped running and the little hanyou was panting, trying to catch his breath. “It's not fair! You can run faster than me!”

 

“You will run faster, Inuyasha, when you are older. One day you will be a match for me. Just wait and see.”

 

The little boy with puppy ears looked up at his brother with pure amazement in his eyes. “I love you, Sesshy.”

 

“Inuyasha, I have asked you not to call me that.” Kagome could feel the conflict inside him. He loved his brother too, but he had been taught not to feel, that love was merely a weakness. He longed to tell Inuyasha that he loved him as well, but found he could not.

 

“But why not, Sesshy? Your name is too long,” the little boy whined.

 

“Fine. Fine. You can call me whatever you want, little brother.” The little hanyou smiled up at him, and the young demon heir felt his heart break just a little. As long as his father was around he could never truly be the brother he wished he could be. He was more or less ordered to stay away from the precious second son, as if his very presence could taint the child with his inadequacy.

 

~

 

The scene shifted from the bright sunlight of the gardens to the dim light in another room she recognized. It hadn't changed much at all, she noted, from how it appeared before her now. Sesshoumaru was sitting behind the desk in his study, reading a scroll over and over again. She read through the scroll as he did once more. He could not bring himself to react to the words there. His father was dead. He had been killed. He was the Lord now.

 

She saw as he sat for hours agonizing over his decision before he stood and left the study, finding Izayoi in her chambers, crying. He sat beside the human woman he had felt such jealousy towards and now he found himself feeling sadness for her. He could not mourn himself for the loss of his father, but he felt for her. She was alone now, with a hanyou child and no husband and mate to protect her. He held the crying woman, trying to comfort her, before he spoke.

 

“You will not be safe here. You must take Inuyasha and leave. When word spreads of father's death there will be attacks on the palace. I cannot defend the west and protect you and my brother at the same time. I do not trust the servants. Many did not agree with father's decision to mate with a human and now that he is gone they may attempt to kill you and the boy.” She nodded her head. “Can you return to your family?” She nodded again. “Then we must hurry. No time can be wasted. I will escort you myself.”

 

~

 

The last thing Kagome saw was young Inuyasha waving good-bye as he walked away from Izayoi's family's palace. Sesshoumaru did not wave back, but he did smile softly at the boy for a moment. Kagome could feel his turmoil. He did not want to trust their protection to others but if he did not he was sure they would be killed. He was certain his decision had been the right one. Her family would protect them until the danger was over and then he would retrieve them and bring them home to the western palace. But until then, he knew he had a difficult fight ahead of him. He would not allow another to take control of the west. Though his father had never given him praise or approval he refused to let him down now, when it really mattered. He would protect the lands, keep control, and let it be known to all that he was now the Lord of the Western Lands and that none would defeat him.

 

~End Memory~

 

When Kagome opened her eyes again the sun was shining and she could see a clear blue sky. She sat up then and looked around. Sesshoumaru sat up beside her. It was then she noticed the crowd of children surrounding them.

 

“Mama! Are you alright?” Shippo cried out.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Why are you crying?”

 

“Are you hurt?”

 

“What was happening?”

 

“Why didn't you answer when we called you?”

 

“It was like you were in a trance or something!”

 

“We were so worried!”

 

The rush of questions and statements from the rest of the children left her head spinning. She glanced at Sesshoumaru who immediately put a stop to it. “Silence,” was all he said and everyone stopped mid-word. He then reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “Please do not cry. This Sesshoumaru did not mean to upset you.”

 

It was then she noticed that she was indeed crying. She sniffled and wiped her cheeks with her sleeve before looking at the children who still looked worried. “I'm fine guys, really. Don't worry about me. Go on and play.” No one looked like they bought it but after a glance at the demon lord they obeyed, all walking off to the middle of the field. As soon as they had gone a ways away Kagome turned to the taiyoukai at her side. “Sesshoumaru. Oh, I'm sorry! I had no idea.” She sniffled again. She surprised him then as she slid quickly into his lap, throwing both arms around his neck. “I had no idea,” she whispered into his neck.

 

He moved his hand to run his fingers through her hair. “It is all in the past, but it is all things I wish for Inuyasha to understand. He has very little memory of the time he spent with me as a child and I doubt he has any idea how things really were. Please, do not cry for me.”

 

“Why not? Who else is going to? Oh, Sesshoumaru. You must have been so lonely! I never knew! I never even imagined you could be so alone.”

 

“This Sesshoumaru is no longer alone.” His voice was low as his mouth was next to her ear. “I am no longer lonely.”

 

She leaned back to look into his eyes, her arms coming up from around his neck, her hands now cupping his cheeks. “You will never have to be lonely again,” she whispered before she kissed his lips softly. “Never again.” With a sigh she snuggled down into him again, burying her face in his neck and twirling his hair in her fingers. “I have to say, you are quite comfortable.”

 

He smiled before responding. “Am I now? Well, I suppose it is a good thing then that I enjoy holding you like this.”

 

“I'm glad, cuz you make a great pillow.” She squirmed a bit to make herself comfortable before sighing again, her breath tickling the skin of his neck.

 

“I believe it is your turn to share.”

 

She nodded against his shoulder, unwilling to move. “What do you want me to show you?”

 

He thought about it for a while, unsure of what he wished to see the most. Eventually he decided. “Show me something happy. Show me something with your family and friends, a good memory.”

 

She thought back for a minute before choosing and then concentrated on the memory she had chosen to share.

 

~Start Memory~

 

The first thing Sesshoumaru saw was Kagome, only she appeared younger. She was looking in a mirror and playing with her hair. Then he heard a voice. “Kagome! Hurry up dear! Everyone will be here soon!”

 

“I'm coming, Mama!” she called back. After another moment and the careful arrangement of a few unruly strands of hair she stood and walked through a door. She hopped down a flight of stairs and stepped into a room full of color. The room, which he guessed to be a dining room from the large table covered in bright colored plates and cups, was covered in streamers and balloons, not that he knew what they were. There was a sign hanging over the staircase that read “Happy Birthday Kagome!” While Kagome looked around he noticed an older man, who he guessed was her grandfather, and a younger boy who was most likely her brother both sitting on a large bench like chair that appeared to be heavily padded in the next room, which was also decorated with bright orbs and strands of what looked like paper?

 

The scene appeared to freeze and he heard her voice. “The orbs are balloons. They're filled with air and are used as decorations. The long things are streamers. This is my house. We were in my bedroom. This is the dining room, and through there is the living room. You're right. That's gramps and Souta sitting on the couch. This is my thirteenth birthday party. I picked this one because I remember having a ton of fun.”

 

The scene unfroze then and he heard a knock at the door. She turned and moved to answer it. When she opened the door there were three young girls waiting, all appearing to be of similar age to Kagome. “Yuka! Eri! Ayumi! Come in! You're the first ones here!” He watched as more and more young people arrived, girls and boys, all bringing brightly wrapped packages that they set in a steadily growing pile. Music was coming from somewhere and the partygoers and Kagome began to dance. They drank some sort of fizzy drink poured from odd bottles, and everyone was smiling and laughing. One boy approached her and asked to dance with her. He could feel her excitement and jealousy reared up inside him for a moment.

 

Sensing it the scene froze again. “The boy is Hojo. He goes to the same school I do. He reminds me of Kouga sometimes. He is always asking me out, but I'm not interested. He's just too boring. I forgot that I danced with him at the party. I thought he was cute then, and all the girls were jealous that he wanted to dance with me instead of them. Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi are my best friends in my time, but we don't really see each other much anymore since I am always in the past. Oh, and the fizzy stuff, that's soda. It's a liquid that has carbonation, bubbles, put into it when they make it. If you want I can bring you some to try. Miroku especially likes it.”

 

Things started moving again and he heard her mother saying it was time to open the presents. He watched then as she tore the bright patterned papers off the packages, finding all sorts of different things which she identified for him as they went along. After that came cake, which he found very interesting looking. He had never seen a birthday cake before and the tiny candles intrigued him. Eventually the party came to an end, the guests leaving one by one, each wishing her a happy birthday. He watched as Kagome and her family cleaned up before each giving her their gifts. The memory ended with Kagome carrying piles of gifts up to her room before dropping to her bed, exhausted but smiling.

 

~End Memory~

 

She picked up her head from his shoulder to look at him. “Nothing special. But it did give you a look at my house, my family, and my friends, as well as some of the things from my time. You know, I fell through the well on my fifteenth birthday. I'm going to be seventeen in a few weeks.”

 

“So then your birthday is approaching?”

 

“Yeah. I made it home it last year, but I'll be here this year.”

 

“So you will not be having a `party' as you called it then?”

 

“No. It would be nice to see all my friends before I leave for a while but the only time I could have a party would be after exams. I don't need a party. I don't need presents. I'm happy just to be here with my friends.”

 

He fell silent, deep in thought. He needed to find out exactly what day was her birthday. He wanted to give her a gift. She had already given him one for no reason and giving gifts was apparently tradition in her time for celebrating one's birth. He didn't know what yet, but he was determined to think of something good.

 

 

 

Author's Notes: First off sorry to any and everyone who doesn't like how I've made their father a bad guy. It was necessary for the direction of the plot. Hope you liked the mushy bit.

 

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and review. I appreciate it!

 

Syoze - Kouga is trying to get everything taken care of with his pack so that he can leave them for an extended period of time and travel with Kagome. He gets a section in a few more chapters.

 

Ginrei - Thanks. I fixed it. I do my best to catch the mistakes but some always manage to slip by. I type so fast now that I have to go back and reread everything. I never thought I would ever be able to type so fast but damn! It must be all the practice. Including this chapter, every chapter posted in one word file is 249 pages long. Every day I add the next posted chapter and nearly die at the length and word count. I'm gonna be elbow deep in pumpkin guts in the next few days. Actually kinda looking forward to it. Always a ton of fun even if it is incredibly messy. And they don't last here in florida. It's still too hot and they rot right away. Don't have to worry about people smashing them, they smush themselves.

 

Meara - Thanks for the kind words. I try to make the characters as real as possible, since they're real in my head. It's almost like I'm watching the anime in my head and just writing it down. God I love my imagination.

 

Lester - I added you to the updates list, but I bet you already knew that, huh.

 

Aryelle - It gets better. There's another on in the 2nd chapter after the first lime. I'm on a writing roll last night and today. I know I'm going to be so nervous when I post the first one. I hope everyone thinks I did a good job because there will be a lot more action coming in the future and it would suck if they suck.

 

Not needed - I was dreaming about being in a doughnut shop that had everything but the one kind I wanted this morning before I woke up. Talk about a nightmare!

 

Seshomarufan - Glad you liked it. Congrats on turning 23 on Friday. If I manage a post that day and I'm not too far behind in my writing I'll put up a birthday special for you.

 

Crystalmaiden - Honored to have you hooked. I've done that, read a whole story straight through I mean. Did it all the time before all my spare time became devoted to keeping everyone out there happy with the chapter a day. Limes in a few more chapters. Lemons to follow, but probably more limes before that. I have a plan.

 

Ethereal Siren - I hate cut and paste mishaps. Glad you liked the procession. It made me smile. No mark from Sango, just Kagome. The shower drain thing made me laugh. See, now I wouldn't be worried about the drain. I would just see if he needed me to wash his hair! He's welcome to the shower as long as I can join. And I'm happy to spoil you, my fan. It is so cool to have fans.