InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shinku no Gingetsu ❯ akugou jashin (sinful heart) ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: Here is something that my sick mind has blotched together, *snickers* well hey, people seem to like my sinister ideas, ne? Bloody Roses was so popular. I was so surprised. But more than anything overjoyed, I love everyone who helped me get to where I am. Please enjoy,

 

And please forgive the morbid theme, I am trying something new, as I did when the plot for Bloody Roses arose. So hopefully everyone can get past *coughs* Koga's *coughs* dying *coughs* sorry,

 

Disclaimer: I am not Rumiko Takahashi, all right!? I am NOT the creator, so I do not intend on claiming her work as my own.

 

Inspiration: Well, *flutters eyelashes* morbidness of course sillybilly, and the beautiful ending song of the kickass game Shadow Hearts. I am the BIGGEST fan of it ever!

 

Dedication: Um, a couple of reviewers that seem to catch my eye. *hugs* thanks bunch guys, your support and overall affections toward my fics are fully appreciated. Suaru, Inu Faceness, Chibi Horsewoman, JadeElemental, Kaori -Angel, xluvmonax, and angelwarrior. Thanks a bunch all of you,

 

Translations: Shinku no Gingestsu translates to Crimson moonlight/rays of moonlight. ^.^ I personally like it. Hopefully you all think its nice,

 

Ages: Kagome-15, Inuyasha-18, Miroku-19, Sango-16, Koga-20.

 

Warnings: multiple character deaths, adult language, and extreme blood and gore.

 

Summery: Koga's advances on Kagome final reach the hanyou's boiling point of his jealously tolerance. Making him become ferocious and sends him thrashing into a violent, possessive rage. What will time make of them?

Shinku no Gingestu

Chapter#1 akugou jashin (sinful heart)

 

 

If I had known then, what such a simple situation could amount to . . . how something could go so wrong so fast. An event turned so cruel and tragic with the sharp blades of bitterness. It just severs my heart. I should've caught that look of turmoil in his eyes when it had begun, being the foolish child I once was . . . I didn't have the maturity to see past what I had done.

 

I was so deeply in love with him then, too blind to fully understand the selfishness of what I had dragged him through. It was wrong. I was wrong

 

Through terrified eyes I watched the onslaught, tears of what I had allowed to happen flowed fiery that day. Fate has its notches, ones constructive precisely for each individual. No ones' exactly the same, everyone born into the world has a predefined fate to live through.

 

Mine was all my own, a path of stupidity that I had stumbled down in the alleyways of love. I found myself too strongly wielded by my heart's desires. I wanted much, and expected all that I longed for. That's where my down falls where placed,

I was never that same girl again, mind you; I appeared so to others that didn't care to really know, but deep down. I had shriveled and died off, like a flower without nourishment. My nourishment being him, my pure unwavering happiness. Why?

 

I had given my heart away back in those times, destined to remain a cold ghost, haunted with memories of what once was. Sad. I lost all my spirit as he splattered their blood against the dirt, I wept for him to stop . . . his eyes cast down at me, I can never forget that malice in its darkest form . . . “this is all your doing wench!”

 

That was the most traumatic event in my life, observing the true hatred he had harbored against Koga. I never really believed existed. I always brushed it off as his ego baring its fang. How could I be so ill-advised as too not see it brewing in his golden eyes . . . misty hate, hate I had single handedly inspired.

 

Koga are you all right? Here, lie down on my lap . . . Inuyasha stop being so jealous! I'm just trying to help him! Jeez, he's a friend and that is why I'm helping him! It's the right thing to do.

 

Foolish that was what I was then. I could've prevented their deaths so easily it sickens me, it was dumb to have thought he could take those awful doses of revenge, my personal revenge toward him. Holding Koga affectionately, not warding off his attempts at mating. It was all in spite toward him, for not ceasing his hold onto Kikyo . . .

 

Why was that something that had to make me suffer so? Is it fair to keep one woman's memory alive, if it meant another had to live in agony, biting her tongue as the man she loves slowly but surely slips away . . .

 

Juuyoku gatsugatsu no shura

(lust for carnage)

 

four years earlier . . .

 

 

I saw him! Oh, how could he? I felt salty tears resurface in my eyes, embarrassed that everyone around me was witnessing me shed tears like a neglected baby. I was so ashamed, yet at the same time I was in agony at what I had barged in on back in the forest.

 

Flattening my face in my lap, as the tears slid down my cheeks. HOW COULD INUYASHA!? I felt a prolonged tear in my throat struggle out of the enlarged lump, blocking passage. I was so ashamed at how I was reacting to this, I could feel their eyes on me . . . I know they had nothing to say, because it was as clear as day what was wrong.

 

No words could ever justify my feelings now, never! I have been smacked in the face all to many times with this secret love the two of them have been going, I am just so sick of this manipulate game we play . . . It's not fair to confuse me like this in such a destructive manner . . . Inuyasha!

Can't you feel how much I love you. It's that obvious. Everyone that's around us can sense it, why can't you? Is it because you purposely avoid telling me the reluctant truth in your heart? Am I just an obstacle in your path? Why is this constantly dangled in my face?!

Are you even capable of loving anyone besides Kikyo? I know she's such an landmine of confusion in your life now, but . . . Can't you consider my feelings? If you really just have me around for the shards . . . TELL ME! Please, don't pretend to care, don't give me such false hopes . . . love is a powerful thing, and it can tear you into ravaged pieces.

 

“Kagome-can we . . . talk?” A dull voice announced suddenly, I sighed as my head slowly rose to meet the person who I knew the voice belonged to. I felt my blood run cold, as I made the shuddering acknowledgment that I was indeed correct. “Please, we really need to.”

 

“Ah, Inuyasha . . . ” My lips were hesitant to voice my agreement, I had an idea as to what would be discussed between us, this was something that had happened before . . . and the outcome would most definitely be the same as before. “All right . . . ” Climbing to my feet as I followed him into the forest, to a secluded area.

 

I observed with a clenched tongue as his all his emotions spilled out into the open. His eyes slowly clashed in gazes with my own, I could see clearly . . . he knew he was wrong, that much was obvious. “Listen . . . ”

 

My mocha gems stirred under the moonlight, almost afraid of what he might suggest. Though he has burdened my heart, I have never question my feelings for him ever . . . my love never wavering,

 

“I think . . . I know you where there Kagome . . . and,” I felt my knees begin to buckle under my weight. Making me a little unsteady, clinging to a tree trunk for balance. “I-I just!” He was mad at himself . . .

 

“Inuyasha,” I felt my lips tremble at his intense voice. It had such power over my conflicting emotions, “Please . . . I'm okay. You don't need to give me excuses,” tracing a tear from my cheek.

 

“Kagome,” When he's jaw curved into a contagious frown, I felt the instinctive need to soothe it away from his face. By any means, even if it meant lying about how I truly felt. But he had to have known deep down, that tears hadn't fallen for nothing.

 

“Please . . . I'm all right, let's get back now.” Draining every ounce of energy I had bottled in me. I grimaced a happy smile in his direction. I flinched internally, at how eagerly to please I had become. And how easily he had become accustomed to believing it,

 

As we walked back, an awkward silence fell dimly upon us, leaving only the crunching of grass beneath our feet to break the grim lack of noise. It was almost depressing, in fact I repressed the need to twist around, corner him, and sob into his chest . . . screaming “Do you love me?!”

 

It was an absent illusion, never something that would ever become reality.

 

The next day all had been erased, the hurt, the lies, my noticeable pain, everything. I felt the urge to smile again, that was enough to bring everyone back to life. Making them more comfortable to converse openly, meaning they didn't have to tip toe around me and Inuyasha.

 

I clung Shippo's sleeping frame closely to my chest, as would a mother to her child. Baring the warmth of such a close contact, while simultaneously wrapping one arm underneath Inuyasha's sleeve as leverage, while he leapt across many miles of forest, fields, and empty patches of barren land.

Such nearness after a Kikyo episode was odd, being as I usually run away home, back down the well temporarily avoiding the long and unenviable conversation we'd routinely have. It was so heartbreaking to conceive our relationship for its moments like this,

 

Hours had faded by, and so had the time where'd the sun would accompany us as we traveled. For once Inuyasha had insisted that we continue to venture through the night, and not take camp. I just shrugged it off, and fallen asleep sometime along the way. As he cradled me in his arms,

 

That is until I stirred awake by . . . “There's my woman! Hey mutt put her down! You can't be runnin' around with Kagome like that!” Frantic yells making me flutter my eyes open, the grogginess of my vision ceasing as Koga's face came into picture.

 

“Shut up you stupid weakling, look what you gone and did!” Inuyasha growled furiously as he set me to my feet, I continue to stare at the loud wolf that had awaken me. Until his usual routine snapped into action, “You woke Kagome up with you BIG FAT mouth!”

 

“Hey Kagome, how has the dumb dog face been treating my woman?” Immediately appearing only mere inches from my face, “I don't see why you're content on traveling around with this dog fart!” Laughing at his own joke, as Inuyasha twitched in aggravation.

 

“Shut up WOLF!!!” His silver ears flared up in annoyance, “At least I'm strong enough to protect Kagome, unlike your weak ass!” Stomping the dirt with his bare feet in protest,

 

“Not true you liar! I am the prince of my wolf tribe! I am the alpha male! Hah! Top that mutt!” Raising his meaty fists in the air, ready to start swinging and hitting someone.

 

As I watched them scurry a pathetic comeback at each other back and forth a sinister idea came to mind. One that was too perfect to ignore. I mean, it was ideal . . . revenge that was in the same form of torture as that Inuyasha had clobbered me with earlier. So my plan was now commenced, I would accept Koga's advances.

 

“Inuyasha, Koga is right though . . . I mean, he is strong, there's no denying that.” I straightened my face enough to make anyone believe I was dead serious. I was not gonna let him get away unscathed this time around, “so be nice,”

 

Two looks, one from Koga . . . He was so over prided and over boastful after that point there was no going back., And the other . . . deeply hurt and horrified I had said that, I ignored his pleading expression and turned back to the wolf demon that seemed to genuinely love me. “Kagome . . . I-thanks for saying that, SEE INUYASHA!? Kagome knows I'm stronger Hah!”

 

I couldn't bring myself to turn in direction to see how he would take my sudden betrayal. Sting. “So Koga, what brings you to us so late.” I continue to smile brightly, a smile he'd never forget.

 

“Oh, yeah you see I was . . . I wanted to uh . . . ” I raised my eyebrows as he became noticeably flushed, maybe this was a mistake, my stomach became bubbly and discomforted. “Kagome, I came to ask you to become my mate!” His bold words gaining a gasp from everyone, however, deep down . . . I was more terrified than they were. Was I really too far to go back?

“Uh, Koga I-,” I felt I had no words to give. That I couldn't be as foolish as to change my heart completely just to receive the revenge I desperately sought, but . . . I found myself being gently pulled toward Koga's offer, after all Inuyasha never was as romantic or even caring enough to ask such a question. “Yes . . . ”

 

“Kagome . . . ” a betrayed whimper escaped him, but I never granted him the courtesy of looking him in the eyes. I just stared off into Koga's beautiful icy blue eyes, as he started to dance happily about. His happy cheers were loud enough to overpower Inuyasha's erratic breathing. It made me nervous, What have I gotten myself into?

 

A/N: Hope you enjoyed my boost into this psychological thriller, if you've paid close attention . . . you'll notice Inuyasha's breathing has changed, and this is the first step in him changing. And if you're wondering what happened between Inuyasha and Kikyo . . . well you'll just have to wait and find out, next chapter will tell. R&R please, *kisses and hugs*