InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Show Me How It Ends ❯ Obligation ( Chapter 2 )

Hey everybody! Did anyone go to illwillpress.com? Isn't foam awesome! Kay here's the next chappie and hopefully I fixed the first chap. If not just email me at TeenZomby@yahoo.com and I'll email you what you missed. But you really didn't miss anything considering it was practically the end, I think. Kay anyway. I hope they don't cut off this chapter like they did the last one. >_<

Deni

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Chapter II - O b l i g a t i o n

Lying through your teeth again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the fautline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Come to this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a bitch, why do I wanna watch you
Disconnect and self destruct one woman at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

'The Outsider' - Perfect Circle

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"We have to go."

Everyone looked up to see Miroku standing, staff grasped in one hand and the other extended in front of him sporting a few rain drops. Sango and InuYasha nodded rising to their feet. The time for quiet reflection was over; it was time to move on now. Miroku attempted to help Sango with her precious burden but she merely moved Kohaku out of his reach and walked ahead of him hiding her strain. InuYasha closed his eyes and let out a breath silently saying goodbye to the long quest that had changed him so much. He turned back to his comrades and began to walk as the rain fell at a greater pace.

Sango clutched the cold body that was once her brother. She looked on ahead determinedly. Her face was that of a statue, etched in stone and cold. She hugged the last piece of her family tighter before speaking. "InuYasha."

The hanyou's head rose at being called.

"Go on ahead and take Kagome to Kaede's. We need to know if anything's wrong with her and it would be best to get the shikon no tama out of such an open area." Her voice was hard and commanding leaving no space for objection or suggestion.

InuYasha nodded without argument grasping Kagome firmer before taking off from the group.

Only Miroku stayed and looked at her. Sango didn't even glare at him.

"You too Houshi, it would be best you move on."

"And what are you going to do Sango? You can't possibly carry-……you can't make it all the way to the village yourself." Miroku spoke quietly and gently.

Sango didn't waver. "I'm not going to Kaede's." She retorted then calling briefly to her cat youkai. "Kirara!" The transformed demon bounded over to her master allowing her and her large bundle to slide on.

Miroku's eyebrows rose in slight surprise. "Then where are you going? Surely you're not leaving us?"

The Taijiya adjusted Kohaku in her arms to better grip the feline. "I need to bury my brother. I'm going to my own village. I'll be back within a week or two."

"I'll help you." Miroku interjected.

"No! I must bury my own, Miroku." Sango snapped. Seeing the surprise mixed hurt must have softened her because she said her next statement softly. "I'll be back. It'll be ok. You go on."

Miroku nodded and walked ahead not looking back as Kirara took off to the east towards what was once the exterminator village. 'She'll be fine.' He thought, but it didn't quell the worry in his chest.

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"Um, I think we should stop."

Ginta looked ahead at Hakkaku. "Why?"

"Because we don't have a clue as to what we're actually doing."

"Oh." Seemed like a reasonable answer the two toned youkai thought plopping down in the grass.

Hakkaku gently placed his deceased leader on the grass before moving to sit across from his friend. They both sat as far from Kouga as they were able to without feeling guilty for doing so. They couldn't help it. This was their friend, their leader, their den brother. And now he was their corpse to bury. It was just too hard to be face right now. Ginta looked up at the worn eyes of Hakkaku and again felt the pang of guilt for making him carry Kouga. It just,…..it was just too hard! Ginta couldn't bring himself to do it and now left the responsibility to weigh itself upon his friend's shoulders. He sighed and looked at a nearby tree, maybe, maybe he could manage to carry it the rest of the way. He turned back to Hakkaku.

"We have to reach the mountain or we'll be fighting off youkai all night." Ginta couldn't make himself say the more specific words of 'He have to reach our home to bury Kouga in, because if we don't we'll be fending off scavenger youkai all night to keep them from eating his corpse.'

Hours seemed to pass when in reality it was probably no more than five minutes. And awkward silence washed over them that they had never experienced before. They used to joke and wrestle, they used to be such an optimistic group. Would they ever be that way again? Ginta couldn't help but wonder rolling the situation around in his mind. The question that plagued them both came back to him. It had to be asked and it hung in the air tormenting them and yet at the same time was never acknowledged by either. Finally Ginta couldn't stand it. Maybe if he asked, the dread and empty feelings the question brought would disappear with the answer.

"What do we do now?"

Hakkaku shifted uncomfortably. He and Ginta were equals, and Kouga was the boss of their group so neither had to worry over decision making. Now that their leader was gone, no one knew what to do. Especially since it seemed the entire survival of their tribe rested on their shoulders. Neither he nor Ginta were accustomed to making such decisions. They were followers, not leaders; and had been happy with their simple uncomplicated life. They were born and raised to follow the alpha male and that's what they had always done up until now. And one's entire upbringing cannot be erased and rewritten in a single day.

"We can't perform the ceremony yet." Came Hakkaku's solemn reply.

"What?! Are you nuts!? We can't leave him out here!" Ginta panicked.

"Nee-san's not here!" Hakkaku shot back.

"Oh, right." Of course, Kouga's intended mate would need to be at his funeral. Ginta calmed down and went back into his slumped sitting position letting Hakkaku continue.

"You go fetch her and I'll watch over him tonight. We'll head for the mountains in the morning."

Neither said anything about the other factors that would complicate this particular mission. Demons would eventually be lured to them by the smell of blood and flesh if they had not already been alerted to it by now. They couldn't speak of those things right now, if ever. They couldn't talk about their leader like that, like he was a piece of rotting meat they had to defend; like he wasn't the strong willed and powerful wolf prince they had known him to be.

Ginta stared at the ground missing the chatter that used to posses their group. They had not been so depressed since their tribe's slaughter, and even then they were thankful that they were left a leader and had each other. What would they do now? Hakkaku had never answered his question so it only confirmed his suspicion that neither youkai was able to be leader. But the subject did need to be discussed. Their entire tribe depended on it. "And after this is over. What do we do? Once Kouga is put to rest. Are we going to find and join another tribe?"

"No!" Hakkaku exclaimed with and urgency Ginta understood.

The two toned wolf nodded. He was just as unwilling to let their entire clan die out as Hakkaku was. "What will we do then?"

"What is with you and your questions?! I don't know! Is that what you want to hear!" Hakkaku watched Ginta recoil and immediately felt bad for snapping at his friend for the second time that day. "We… we'll figure something out. Let's not worry about it now." He said softening his tone.

Ginta nodded but could not let the question go. They couldn't just let their clan name die out. He leaned back against the grass and stared into the sky as if waiting for answers to drop from the sky, much like the rain was beginning to do. Ginta frowned before scooting underneath the nearby tree he had been looking at, Hakkaku followed, after laying Kouga underneath another tree. The guilt again returned full force, punishing them for alienating their leader so. Ginta leaned against the tree as Hakkaku laid back into the grass mimicking Ginta's previous position. "What about rebuilding our tribe?"

Hakkaku opened an eye to glace at Ginta, he smirked mischievously at his comrade. "I don't know about you but I'm not quite ready to sacrifice my sexuality for the sake of the clan, Ginta. But you can go ahead and try." Hakkaku snickered.

Ginta glared down lazily at him before snapping his foot across the grass to clock the other wolf in the head. "Not that way baka yaro! I'm talking about finding another tribe and taking over. Stupid." He murmured the last insult as more of an after thought.

Hakkaku yawned considering whether to take him seriously or not. They were not the second strongest in their own tribe, what made Ginta think they could be the strongest of another? "How do you plan on doing that? Kouga was alpha male for a reason. And we're definitely not Kouga."

Ginta imitated Hakkaku's yawn with his own. The rain was bringing a sluggish lazy feeling to the atmosphere. "No, but we could find a weaker clan. We..(yawn)..we could beat their leader and take over."

Hakkaku nodded. He guessed it wasn't that bad of a plan, when you looked at it just right. It was a matter of honor and they couldn't just let their tribe die. "Wait, you said we. Only one can take on the alpha male. Two on one is unfair." Hakkaku stretched his weary muscles. "I say we just steal a couple of females from a neighboring tribe and mate until we've repopulated our own clan." His head was able to dodge Ginta's foot this time. He chuckled and then was reminded of a previous matter he had thought about. "Nee-san will have to come with us."

"Hm?" Ginta mumbled tiredly. Damn rain.

"Nee-san. Kouga was going to make her his bride, and now that he's…..gone, we'll be taking her in."

Ginta nodded. It was customary that when a female's mate was killed, her mate's family took care of her, usually the brother and his family took her in. He frowned, he didn't want to take her in right now. She definitely complicated things. For instance, their own tribe still considered her an appetizer even when Kouga declared her his intended, how was another tribe going to react to her? He sighed, there was so much to do and he wasn't sure if he and Hakkaku could do it all on their own. "I'll go get her as soon as the rain stops, you…you take Kouga home and I'll meet you there." It was hard to talk about their leader like this, like he was nothing more than a bone that needed burying.

Hakkaku nodded and for once since his death, an awkward silence didn't follow talk of Kouga. The youkai made themselves comfortable to sleep the rain out.

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InuYasha was pleased with the time he made. He had reached Kaede's in under two hours, that was pretty good considering how far away they had been. He looked down at the motionless Kagome. She still hadn't woken up and though he knew she had every right to sleep after accomplishing what she did, he still worried over her coma like unconsciousness. The rain had evolved from a light drizzle to an all out downpour, it looked like there could be a storm coming for as long as it had lasted.

InuYasha spied Kaede's hut and went in search of the old women to seek her help. He walked in as he usually did, like he owned the whole village.

"Oi! Baba!" InuYasha called out loudly. After a few minutes of waiting and looking around her heard a shuffling in the entrance way.

"Is it necessary to alert the entire village of your presence, InuYasha?"

InuYasha turned around to see Kaede frowning at him condescendingly from the doorway.

"Keh!" InuYasha huffed and proceeded to look and sniff about the room.

"What are you looking for now? Is that Kagome? Is she alright? For heaven's sake InuYasha put her down, she needs to be looked at!" Kaede scolded.

"What do you think I'm looking for! Where's a futon!"

Kaede sighed though used to the young hanyou's rude behavior. "Stay here, I have one laying around somewhere." Kaede instructed walking into another room only to return a few minutes later with a rolled up mattress and a clean cut knife cradled in her arms. It was no surprise to her to find and irritated hanyou pacing impatiently. "For Gods' sake you're going to give the child brain damage, stop that!" InuYasha growled stubbornly but stopped all the same. Kaede grunted with the effort it took her old bones to straighten out the mattress on the floor. She rose again and straightened her back. "There, lay her down and I will have a look at her." She instructed pointing to the navy blankets covering the mattress.

InuYasha nodded and went to lay her down. "Good heavens what is she covered in!" Kaede shouted startling InuYasha out of his previous assignment.

He started a bit and glared at her. "Naraku's guts, probably! What's the matter with you?!" InuYasha snapped back.

Kaede glared at him and began to wave her hands downward. "Set her down this instant, we don't know what that poison could do to her!" She commanded urgently.

Seeing now was not a time to be arguing, InuYasha gently set Kagome on the floor still cradling her from the waist up. He observed somewhat suspiciously when Kaede seemed to tackle the girl the second she touched the ground.

*RIIIIIIIPPPP!*

InuYasha's face heated up and his eyes crossed as Kaede desperately tore the girl's shirt off her delicate frame. He choked and turned away. "What the hell are you doing?!" He shouted irritably.

Kaede didn't look up from her work when answering him. "Naraku's blood could be poisoning her body, we have to wash it off immediately."

Sensing that it could be a crisis at hand the hanyou did his best to swallow his boyish immaturity and help the old priestess.

The old woman looked a bit surprised to see InuYasha use his claws to rip and tug the rest of Kagome's skirt off, she would have chuckled to see the ramped blush staining his face as he did so but now was not a time to be laughing.

InuYasha choked on his own saliva as Kaede now set to remove Kagome's panties. He again looked away, "Baba what are you doing?!" InuYasha demanded for the second time.

Kaede let out and annoyed breath, quickly becoming irritated with the boy's lack of sensibility. "She is soaked through, InuYasha. We must get everything off her at once and wash her off." She informed now struggling to remove the strange piece of cloth that bound her breasts.

InuYasha looked down at the unconscious girl and looked at the floor slipping his index claw under the back strap of the cloth when he cut through. He clenched his eyes willing himself not to look when he felt it go loose around her shoulders.

Her lips quirked up in a small approving smile as Kaede watched him retrain himself from taking advantage of the situation. Though she guessed it would be too much to ask for him to take her to the river and wash her off himself "You may go, InuYasha. I will handle the rest."

The hanyou nodded and carefully handed a very naked Kagome to the old woman. He looked at the window before adding, "You sure you don't need me? T-to help or anything?" He felt more than actually saw Kaede shake her head. InuYasha accepted her answer and stood. "I'll wait outside." InuYasha felt no more than five years old at that moment.

"It is raining. Why don't you wait in the other room." Kaede said sympathetically. She watched him nod acceptingly and observed him cautiously staring at the floor as he made his way to the other room. Kaede shook her head at the boy's modesty before cutting a wash cloth out of her robes. Oh! She almost forgot. Kaede set the knife down and looked to the other room. "There is one last thing you can do, InuYasha!" Kaede called out to him. His head instantly poked through the door way, his ears swiveled to hear her. "I need you to bring out a few buckets of water if you can."

InuYasha nodded and went to his task.

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They both awoke to the sound of ripping and pecking. Ginta heard the slight shuffling of grass as Hakkaku willed himself to move. Ginta fought his eyelids, demanding them to stay open. Instantly he felt a jerk and his eyelids shot open to see Hakkaku pounce on the ground near Kouga.

"GET AWAY YOU FILTHY BASTARDS!!"

Ginta leapt to his feet ready to fight but only saw a few scavenger birds scurry and fly away. He carefully walked over to where Hakkaku now stood inspecting the damage. His friend shook and his hands balled into fists at his side. Ginta looked over his shoulder.

The damned birds had been tearing at him. The hole through Kouga's chest now looked torn and decayed where it had once been a clean shot through. Ginta felt a vile liquid rise over his stomach and jerked his head to the side to look at anything else. He wobbled over to their tree and sank to his knees resting his forehead forcibly against the bark. They were pecking at him. Pecking at him like they would any dead thing. Pecking at his remains like his was-…Ginta clenched his eyes shut tighter not able to even think the words. He heard Hakkaku grunt with the effort it took to lift their leader's limp unsupported body. He heard the sound of footsteps moving closer to him.

"Go get Nee-san. I'll head to the mountains." Hakkaku said trying to keep his voice strong but it only came out strained and slightly hoarse at the end.

Ginta panted against the tree, "But its still raining. We can't perform the ceremony in the rain." He replied, but Hakkaku was already walking.

"Then hope it stops raining before we get there." Hakkaku called to him.

The two toned youkai kneeled there for a long time after Hakkaku had disappeared. He could feel his eyes burning and another heat rising up this throat that made his mouth salivate rapidly. This time the bile could not be swallowed. Ginta let out a short muffled sound in the back of his throat before throwing his head down to release the putrid yellow and brown liquid of uneaten things. He gave a few short breaths and again released the same substance onto the previously stained ground. He panted, mercilessly raping the forest for air and slumped against the tree bark exhaustedly, ignoring the painful 'thud!' his head made against the hard scraping wood. Releasing the bile from his stomach had stopped him from releasing the tears from his eyes. He felt oddly relaxed and didn't' want to take an inch away from this place, vomit or no. He winced as his task came back to him. He looked through half lidded eyes at the dark brown bark. 'I've got to get Nee-san.' He struggled to his feet and took a step out from under the tree's protective limbs. The rain poured down on him, punishing him for being so weak when his friend obviously needed him strong. The arduous rain drops hit him pitilessly, washing away any vomit remains from his knees. He took a deep breath and began to walk in the opposite direction of Hakkaku to track down either Kagome or InuYasha.

They had been pecking at his remains like his was nothing more than a carcass……..

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It wasn't coming out. Kaede grumbled in frustration. She set the wash cloth down and rubbed her temples trying to think of what to do. She had been scrubbing Kagome for thirty minutes and still the vile goop refused to leave her body. The water just slid off it as if it were oil. She sighed and rested her head in her hands looking at Kagome. The girl would need to be looked at but she couldn't do that unless the disgusting slime was off her and she also needed to rest, which she couldn't do because she couldn't saturate herself with the slime while laying in the futon. So again it all came to getting the horrible substance off the young miko. 'I had hoped it would not come to this…' Kaede thought looking at the other room that no doubt InuYasha was probably pacing in. "InuYasha!" Kaede called to the dog hanyou. Again, almost instantly his snowy haired head jutted through the door way.

"Nani? Is she clean yet?" InuYasha asked feigning a tone of irritability when Kaede could plainly see the concern on his face.

"Iie, I cannot remove this…this liquid" She spat the word 'liquid' like a curse "with just a few buckets of water and a piece of cloth. I need your help."

InuYasha blushed from head to toe and resumed looking at the floor.

Kaede took his silence as consent and continued. "It is still raining, take her behind the hut and see if that will wash it away."

The hanyou's head shot up his golden eyes narrowing at the woman. "That's not help! That's me washing her myself!" He ranted furiously. InuYasha stopped waving his clawed fists realizing what exactly he had said. The horrible redness again took over his face and he quieted immediately.

"I will be right here if you need anything, InuYasha." Kaede said softly. This task was defiantly putting a strain on him and she knew it, but there was no other way. She gathered Kagome in her arms and waited patiently for InuYasha to take her.

InuYasha shuffled nervously over to her and Kaede raised the girl as best she should when he leaned down to gather her in his arms. He cringed baring his teeth and looking at the ceiling when he felt her now damp, naked body pressed unforgivingly against his. He continued to look up when she handed him the wash cloth and he walked out of the hut to around back.

Within seconds a loud band accompanied by several curses could be heard. Kaede laughed softly at hearing the hanyou bump into yet another obstacle outside.

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The evil witch was out to get him, InuYasha decided. It was pouring out and he was getting soaked as well and could now feel her entire body even clearer than he could a half hour ago. He swallowed when he reached the back of the hut. He looked around uneasily, making sure no one was out here that would catch him. Swallowing, he gently setting her down and leaned her back against the back of the hut. InuYasha took a deep breath and knelt down. 'What're you gonna do? Just blindly wash her?!' InuYasha scolded himself. He had seen her naked before, well those occasions had only lasted about three minutes before she screamed and him for being a hentai and sat him. He shook himself and steadied his breathing taking the cloth to her shoulder and scrubbing. 'Good, the shoulder's a safe place.' Sure enough as Kaede had said, the stuff wasn't coming off. Five minutes had passed and he was till scrubbing her shoulder, partly because he was too afraid to move elsewhere and partly because it still felt slick and slippery. He braved a glance down at the offending shoulder and noticed that indeed the goo was still there. His brows furrowed and he let out an irritated growl.

"Even dead, that bastard has to make my life a living hell!" He snapped. InuYasha again gave it a few hard scrubs but stopped, realizing his release of frustration was taking its toll on Kagome's skin. He felt a bit guilty and shaking his head, "Fuck it!" He grumbled picking her up and leaping into the forest.

He jumped from tree to tree looking for a river he knew was near by. That was the thing about human villages, they always built them near a good water supply. His lips curved in a triumphant grin upon finding what he was looking for. He leaped from his branch landing softly on the ground and trotting over to the river. He observed it and was thankful that it wasn't going terribly fast. He knelt down with Kagome in his arms. He carefully pulled his arm out from under her knees and slipped it into the water to test it. His lips curved downward in an unsatisfied scowl. The water was very cold to him so it must be absolutely freezing to the average human. A debate went on in InuYasha's head as he considered whether to quickly put her in this one or find water supply. He growled and decidedly trudged into the river bank. He let out a small hiss as the ice water sunk through his clothes. Cringing he looked at Kagome but knew he had no choice, Naraku's disgusting guts had been on her long enough.

The hanyou gently turned her body to face him before he slowly knelt in the water. His clawed hands slid under her back and shoulders to steadily cup her head. The force of the current pushed at her body stronger than it affected his own. InuYasha quickly realized that he wasn't looking at the floor or ceiling but was actually looking at her, Kagome. He felt his body relax and ran his claws through her hair. The water seemed to be doing much better than the bucket water and cloth did. He could already see the green and yellow juice seep off her body to form an ugly aura around her before allowing the current to carry it away.

InuYasha repeatedly told himself that it was wrong. That he was taking advantage; but he just couldn't stop his eyes from scanning her body. He had always been very curious about her. Her world was so different from his own and she brought such strange things from her era. He had always been curious to see how her body would differ from the few times he had seen other females' bodies. It was paler he decided. She was somewhat tanner than when he had first met her due to shard hunting but she was not born into work as most other females were so she had not been constantly under the brutal sun as they were. She was also softer, her body not hard and firm as Sango's probably was along with most women who had worked every day of their life. He decided he liked the softness. It was like an embracing feather bed compared to a firm unrelenting mattress. Her legs were clean too he noticed. Not a hair on them unlike every other female he had seen, he wondered why that was. She smelled very clean to. Not just now but normally. Whenever she poked herself out of the well she always smelled different, but in a pleasing way. She either smelt of some sort of fruit or flowers. This was probably accomplished by those bottles she called 'shampoo', he noticed that they smelled similar to her.

'Sick hentai.' A voice murmured in the back of his head as his eyes dared lower. InuYasha kept darting his eyes upward trying to avoid the place his gaze most wanted to venture, but they refused to listen and kept traveling downward. InuYasha decided he would deal with the guilt later, besides, she got to see her body every day, he had maybe seen it once or twice in the entire time they had known eachother. 'Oh that's wonderful logic…' drawled the voice in the back of his head. 'Shut up!' InuYasha shot back. 'She's never seen you penis before and you get to see it every day, gonna let her look you over?' InuYasha knew his reasoning was stupid at best, but it was all he head to justify himself at the moment.

Her breasts, he decidedly confirmed were very pleasing to look at. They looked nothing like they did in that 'bra' contraption she always wore. They weren't large, they weren't small, they were possibly a little over a handful. He clenched his fists in her hair and back, he was only looking, not touching. 'Yes, its so much more moral to ogle a naked, helpless, girl when she's unconscious than it is to touch a naked, helpless girl when she's unconscious.' InuYasha paid his conscience no mind as a tightening in his lower regions violently beat out that part of his thought process.

Kagome breasts looked both soft and firm at the same time, and absolutely delicious with the way he was arching her back to let the river drain the slime from her hair. Her nipples stood out in their natural reaction to the cold. They were a light pink and rather, 'cute?' InuYasha, thought but was immediately disgusted with himself for thinking something like that. 'Oh, you're disgusted with yourself for inadequately describing a naked unconscious girl, but not for leering at her?'

A muffled groan broke InuYasha out of his reverie. His eyes shot up to look at Kagome's sleeping face. He wasn't sure if the sound had come from her or from him. Either way with the pool of guilt seeing into his belly he wasn't ready to stay anymore. Besides, her body was clean, the blood and guts having been washed from her skin leaving her body silky and fleshy again instead of the slimy, putrid smelling mass it had been. InuYasha raised her out of the water and treaded to the bank. He adjusted her in his arms before once again leaping into the trees towards Kaede's.

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"Has it come of?" Kaede asked looking up at her returning visitors.

"Hai." InuYasha nodded walking over to the mattress bringing up the covers to slide Kagome inside.

"All of it?"

"Didn't I just say so!" InuYasha spat.

"I am just checking, InuYasha. Even a small portion of that, if it belongs to Naraku, could work its evil into her." Kaede informed getting up to walk over to the futon.

InuYasha leaned against a nearby wall folding his arms across his chest. "Keh! We don't even know if the stuff was poisonous."

Kaede kneeled by Kagome. "Is that what you plan on telling her when she lay on her death bed?"

"Keh!" InuYasha turned away but Kaede could see a rising paleness taking over his face.

"You can leave now, InuYasha. I will take it from here."

InuYasha said nothing and went for the door. He wanted to go outside and think, and it looked as though the rain may be letting up. It was raining softly now instead of violently pelting the ground and the sky was a misty silver instead of a blackened grey.

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'Focus, focus, getting better……ok there we go.' Kagome had gotten the strength to open her eyes but everything was rather blurry. She began to blink and squint trying to form a ceiling out of the smear of blotchy brown. Finally after a few final blinks she managed to make a ceiling and even spot the teddy bear shaped crack in Kaede's ceiling she had noticed a long time ago. She winced and let out a painful groan, 'note to self. With focus comes eye strain and with eye strain comes head ache.'

The head ache quickly went away as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She looked around and gathered her surrounding. It was dark so it must be night, and there was a violent pitter pattering on the roof. A far away thunder and crash confirmed her suspicions that it was storming outside. So where was everyone? Were Sango and Miroku ok? Where was Kaede? Where was InuYasha? Kagome's brow nit into a confused frown. Where was everyone? Was she alone?

"Inu-*cough* " The last part was stifled with a cough. She suddenly became aware that her throat was very dry and horribly scratchy. Kagome automatically rose her hand to her throat and swallowed to get some saliva back down where it belonged.

Her eyes widened when she felt her naked neck. Kagome pawed around her throat frantically. Where was it!? Where was the Shikon no tama!? On instinct Kagome's eyes scanned the floor. InuYasha was going to kill her!-Oh. The day's events came rushing back to Kagome flooding her mind with images. She rolled calmly onto her belly her fingers gently petting her throat almost believing that if she felt long enough the jewel would return to its rightful place around her neck. Kagome supported herself lazily on her elbows. She quieted and began to go over the day's events in her head. Naraku had sent his youkai out to attack them after stealing their shards. They had retaliated and the battle had begun. They had already had a plan that was made a few weeks ago so everything seemed to be in place. InuYasha was to distract Naraku and Kagome was to put all of her purifying energy into her arrow and weaken Naraku. 'Kouga…' Kagome's hand unconsciously began to pet her throat a bit more forcibly as the memory of Kouga came back.

---flash back---

"Naraku is going to be defeated and then we can be together!"

---end flash back---

Kagome winced remembering his words. Her hand unconsciously began leaving thin white lines of uprooted dead skin as her fingers trailed harder down her neck.

---flash back---

"We're going to have our own litter and they'll grow up in a good world, a safer world."

---end flash back---

A safe world. The world was never safe. Kagome swallowed and bit her lip not even noticing the thin pink lines her nails were making in her throat.

---flash back---

"I'm in love with you!"

---end flash back---

A small sob ripped through her lips before Kagome could stop it, but thankfully it was muffled by the lightening and thunder from outside. Tears danced in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She bit her lip tighter to stop anymore outbursts from coming. 'Oh kami, those were his last words…' She thought paying no attention to the pink lines that were now red and the small crimson dots that leaked from the red path ways down her neck.

---flashback---

Kouga's forehead touched the earth as he lay on top of her. His mouth open in a distorted, silent scream, as blood dripped from it like a broken faucet. His lifeless eyes lay open staring unseeing at the ground

---end flash back---

Her lip was wrenched from her teeth, the sobs becoming violent and uncontrollable. Tears rained down her cheeks unforgivingly. Her once petting fingers now left brutal lacerations on her pale throat. Blood trickled happily down her neck as she dug her nails deeper and deeper hoping that the physical pains would cleanse her of the unbearable emotional ones. 'My fault, all my fault, I caused this…' Kagome's shoulder shook at another memory, a worse memory worming its way into her brain. She rose up from her elbows and supported herself on her palms the sobs viciously wracking her body. The tears seemed endless as they melted down her cheeks to her neck mingling with the blood and making her wounds throb.

A flash of lightening brought a glittering to Kagome's attention. Her eyes darted across the room to see a clean cut knife resting innocently a few feet away from her futon. It gleefully reflected at her and Kagome saw her appearance in its glare. Her hair was ragged and unbrushed. Her clothes were gone and she was naked and pale. Snot trickled from her now stuffy nose. Old tears crusted to her cheeks and new ones continued to pour out of her blood shot eyes. Her throat was now a bloody mess of torn flesh.

Another memory beat at her forcing more vicious sobs from her. Kagome jerked the thin sheet of a blanket around her shoulders and dove for the knife. She snatched the knife up and hunched over it like something holy and precious. Kagome cried at her reflection bringing the blade to her wrist allowing her shoulders to support the sheet. 'I can't live with this…'

---flash back---

"Now is not the time to be selfish, Kagome."

---end flash back---

Another flash of lightening and crash of thunder muffled her howl of mental agony as she darted out of the hut, running away from it as though it were the sole cause of her emotional anguish. Kagome ran and ran, her legs already tired and weak using only her terror and sorrow to fuel their flight. The sobs would not give her rest and they continued to streak her face, merging with the rain that hammered her fatigued body. The sheet struggled to fly behind her but the rain was making it awkward and heavy.

Kagome clutched the soaked sheet tighter around her even though it had lost its original purpose of bringing warmth long ago. The ground was slick and muddy, splashing fiercely with every step of her naked feet. Kagome didn't know whether she was running home or just running, it didn't really matter one way or the other. She clenched her eyes shut to bear another onslaught of sobs. She didn't even see one of the deeper puddles ahead of her before she stepped in it sliding and crashing into the watery earth, the mud playfully sliding her around a bit before she stopped. Kagome grasped the sheet, the thin make shift blanket sucking into her skin as she curled into a ball. She gasped for the breath her hysteria was taking from her and noticed the knife lying a foot away from her. 'I couldn't even land on it right..' She thought pathetically. Kagome shook her head in a vain attempt to clear the tear induced madness. She sat up plucking the knife from the ground and once more bringing it to her wrist with hopes that she had outrun the memories. She bit her lip as she again glanced at her reflection in the muddy mirror. She pressed it harder to her wrist willing herself to make it quick.

--- flash back ---

Kagome groaned and opened her eyes to the blinding light that was surrounding her.

"Ah you are awake. That is good because you do not have much time left."

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of another voice. Kagome was floating but she felt as though she were standing on solid ground. There was nothing but a white light that had seemingly engulfed the entire world. And there, standing strongly was a woman. She was dressed in what looked like a cross between miko robes and a warrior's garb. Her long raven hair swished to and fro playfully as she walked towards her. Kagome suddenly found the words to speak.

"Who are you?"

"I am Midoriko. And you, my dear, are a miko that needs to make a wish." She answered, her eyes twinkling and smiling down at the smaller girl.

"What? Wait, what happened? Wasn't I-" Kagome stopped and blinked. "I-I was swallowed. Wasn't I swallowed by Naraku? What am I doing here?"

Midoriko laughed pleasantly. "Yes you were indeed swallowed, as was the shikon no tama. Which you retrieved. The jewel is protecting you for now and here you are to make your wish."

"Wish?"

"Of course."

Kagome shook her head. "But I'm not supposed to make a wish! The plan was Naraku was supposed to try to make a wish and I was to shoot him and then-and-and then-" Kagome just didn't know what to say, it wasn't supposed to happen like this and now she didn't know the words she needed to put together. She sighed and looked pleadingly up at Midoriko. "InuYasha wanted to be a full demon. Or bring Kikyo back. I'm not sure which. I'm not supposed to make a whish."

Midoriko lifted a slender hand to cover her laugh. "Things do not always go according to plan, my dear." She set her hand down in its previous position at her side. "But, is there not something that you must do? Perhaps your wish will be able to help you." She said wisely.

Kagome stood and thought. Things had gone so off course. What was she supposed to do now? Kagome's head snapped up upon remembering, "Kouga!"

Midoriko looked at her, gazing patiently.

"K-Kouga, my friend. He was killed. Can't I bring him back?"

The older Miko's gaze became firm. "Your friend was killed, yes. But so were many others. Is it fair that you are able to wish away your sorrow where others do not have such a blessed opportunity?"

Kagome immediately thought of Sango. Kohaku had died, and would stay dead, while Kagome would bring back a man who's feelings she did not return just so she didn't have to live with such gut wrenching guilt. Tears came to her eyes, this would make Kouga's death weigh even more heavily on her shoulders. "Please. Y-you can't give me this kind of responsibility." Kagome pleaded clutching her fists to her heart which was slowly cracking.

Midoriko said nothing.

"I'm only seventeen!! I can't do this anymore! No more searching, no more fighting, no more dieing!" Kagome begged helplessly. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and looked up. Midoriko looked down at her sympathetically.

"We all have burdens we must carry, Kagome. So is the life of a Miko and guardian of the Shikon no Tama."

Kagome's bottom lip trembled. "What do I say? What do I say to them when I had the opportunity to bring back a man, whose death I'm responsible for, and threw that away? Sango! If Sango were put in this position she would bring Kohaku back in an instant!" Kagome beseeched. "Its not fair." She whimpered looking up into the empathetic eyes of the older woman.

"You are not Sango. Your world is in grave danger, you are needed. And now is not the time to be selfish, Kagome."

The younger miko bit her lip and looked away. "I just want to beat Naraku." She murmured.

"And so you will."

Kagome didn't have time to look up as all the light around her seemed to be sucked into her body and radiate out of her in a burning mass.

---end flash back---

A scream ripped through the storming night. Kagome put all of her frustration and hatred of the world, destiny and herself into that scream. She yanked the knife from her unmarred wrist. Destiny wouldn't even allow her control over her own death. 'Now is not the time to be selfish Kagome…' , 'Your world is in grave danger, you are needed.'

"FUCK THE WORLD!!" Kagome screeched. Her sorrow and fury blocked her instinct to naturally cover her mouth at saying such a foul word. "I'm so sick of being selfless! Can't I control anything in my life?!" Kagome sobbed throwing the knife to the muddy ground and curling in on herself to cry in her lap.

She sniffled covering her head with her arms and shoving her face into her lap. 'Its not fair..' Kagome buried her fingers in her wet and mucky hair once more sobbing into her knees. Another flash of lightening caused the knife to glare in Kagome's face. She squinted and looked at it reflecting back at her. She scowled thrusting herself up her rain soaked hair flipping backward and slapping her back with whip like ferocity. She yanked the knife from the ground. Pulling her hair over she shoulder she fisted it in the other hand and pulled it tight. 'I can be selfish all I want…' Kagome thought tearing through her once long, gleaming locks with the filthy utensil. She growled and continued to chop through her hair until her arm could take no more. Finally her fist swung away from her head with the force of a child who had lost a game of tug-o-war, holding a limp pony tail of black hair that clung to her wrist like a sun starved vine.

Kagome was tired. She was wet. The once dry, warm sheet now fearfully clung to her body like a second skin. Her knees had settled themselves deep in the murky mud that cascaded over her thighs, hands, and body. Mud that spattered itself onto her face and mingled with the tears and her blood caked throat.

Kagome was so tired. She fell into the puddle surrounding her, ignoring the violent splash and rain of filth that fell on to her. She closed her eyes against the heavy rain only opening them briefly when she felt it stop. A dark shadow hung over her. It looked like a human figure but Kagome was too tired to care. Her head fell to the side sinking into the muck and with that she gave in to the yumminess of sleep.

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"InuYasha! Have you lost your mind!?"

InuYasha looked down at the now soaked old woman that was trying to call up to him over the rain. He gave a short 'Keh!' of annoyance before turning away from her. Although she did have a point. Contrary to his earlier prediction, the storm did come and the rain did not look like it was letting up.

Kaede scowled. She had followed the fool out here, finding him up in the Goshinboku, when it had begun to storm. She cupped her hands to her mouth. "Come down! I left Kagome to come get you and I am not staying away for long, now get down here!"

This seemed to get InuYasha's attention. "You left her alone! BAKA! What the hell is wrong with you?!" He jumped down from his limp and glared at her. "I'm going back, don't think I'm gonna wait for you!" He snapped.

The old woman growled and had she been a lesser woman she would have slapped the mongrel. She began to trudge back to her hut.

"Ungrateful cur." She grumbled.

Kaede looked up at the sky as she noticed it didn't seem to rain as hard as it had before. The thunder now seemed far away and the sky brightened somewhat to what it was before. A misty silver with a lighter, less offensive rain. Kaede let out a breath of relief. Perhaps the walk wouldn't be so life threatening.

----------------------------------------------------------------------- ---

'So tired…' Exhaustion fought with her but it didn't stop Kagome's eyes from brushing slightly open of their own accord. She was back in her mattress, the sickly wet sheet long since discarded and a fresh one covered her unclothed body. She lay on her back, her head tilted to the side with her knees brought in, much the same position she had been in outside. The first thing she noticed were a pair of flesh colored knees. Her brow furrowed and she dazedly looked up through sleepy eyes to see a youkai staring at her. This definitely got her attention and her eyes snapped open, her body lurching upward to get away.

A clawed hand reached out to stop her but looked as though he reconsidered and let her back herself against a wall drawing her knees close to her body and clutching the blanket fearfully to her chest.

Kagome's blurry eyed panic left her as her eyes resumed their accurate focus and centered on the person in front of her. She sighed recognizing the pelt covered shoulders and white and black hair. "G-Ginta, is it?" Kagome asked uncertainly. She had known the male youkai only through Kouga and had never actually been alone with him.

Ginta nodded kneeling before her, his hands resuming their position in his lap. He seemed to be waiting for her to speak again but rethought it, gathering a question of his own to ask. "Why were you out on a night like this, Nee-san?" Ginta asked in a tone that indicated he thought her to be a very strange girl indeed.

Kagome didn't really know how to answer him. "I-I woke up…" 'Very nice people skills Kagome…' She thought sarcastically.

For some reason this seemed to be a good enough reason for him and Ginta nodded acceptingly.

An awkward silence possessed the room as neither knew what to do or how to start. Kagome looked around curiously. "A-are we alone?"

The wolf youkai looked up, "This is where you live, or stay at least, isn't it?" He sniffed around the room. It had her scent alright, but still. "This was the closest hut."

Kagome nodded reassuringly. "Yes, but I don't live here. It belongs to my…..my friend." Kagome didn't really know what to call Kaede, the word friend seemed….awkward…..to use when classifying her relationship with the older woman. Kagome ventured again, "Has InuYasha been here at all? Have you seen him?"

Ginta looked at her, a confusing frown taking over his features as though he were piecing together something unpleasant in his head. "Why? Were you….with him?" Ginta implied gesturing to her naked form.

Kagome didn't seem to understand his implications and took it literally. "No, I haven't seen him at all actually. The last time I saw him was after Naraku. And then I wake up..well…..like this" Kagome gestured to herself much like Ginta had done "and no one was here." Her brow furrowed in thought. "Actually you're the first person I've seen since I've woken up. I don't know where anyone is."

Ginta nodded somewhat relieved. For what he knew of Kagome she definitely wasn't the type of female to rut on her mate's fresh grave.

"Um Ginta?"

The youkai raised his head upon hearing his name.

"I don't mean this in a rude way or anything. But, what're you doing here?"

Ginta didn't looked offended but his posture stayed stiff and unrelaxed. "Hakkaku and I must give Kouga a burial ceremony." He stated looking at the wall behind her.

Kagome felt as though she had been kicked in the gut by a particularly strong mule. She swallowed and looked away. She couldn't look at Ginta right now, he reminded her too much of her sin. She hoped he would never find out about the shikon no tama, and how she had spat on the opportunity to raise Kouga. She didn't think she could stand the blatant hatred in his eyes. Her head rose when he continued.

"As his future intended…" Ginta stopped, looking for a better word, Kouga had no future that Kagome was intended to be in. Unfortunately there were no words he could think of and he did not want to remain scanning for words in his vocabulary that would fit his friend's death. "As his future intended you must be there." He repeated.

Kagome was not engaged to Kouga. Kagome was not in love with Kouga. But neither of these facts stopped her from nodding, staring sadly at her pillow on her mattress. She took a breath and clenched her fists to fight off the confessions her conscience beseeched her to speak. Kagome looked down at her chest feeling something thick and stringy in her clenching fist. A thick wet rope of raven thread hung limply from it. Was that hair? Her hair?? Kagome pulled her knees closer to cover her chest as she raised her other hand raised to paw carefully at her head. Kagome's hair was so knotted and caked with mud that she couldn't tell how short it was, but it was certainly not anywhere near the length it used to be. She dropped her hand away to pull the blanket back to her chest and looked longingly at the tassels in her hand. The longing quickly turned to regret and self disgust and upon remembering what had caused her to commit such a violent act towards something that took her years to grow. She felt a small fire fly glow of pride within in at her accomplishment. As small and insignificant as the act was, in the long run, it did leave her feeling a bit more in control of her life. 'I can be selfish…' Kagome thought hauntingly.

But acts of selfishness only seemed to remind her more of the one selfless act that disgusted her. She sloped down and resumed laying on her mattress. She nuzzled the pillow sorrowfully with the side of her face.

Ginta looked curiously down at her and noticed a long pony tail of black hair in her grip. He looked up at her head and pieced the two together but chose not to say anything. He brought his attention back to her when she began to speak again.

"When do you want to leave?"

"As soon as possible." Upon seeing Kagome begin to get up again he quickly added "but not now!"

With that Kagome flopped back on her stomach. Guilt and self anger churned in her gut. Seeing Ginta and Ginta being here brought nothing but memories of Kouga to her. He had known Kouga for a lot longer than she did. He more than likely grew up with him. Kagome buried her face in her pillow and groaned. Oh God, how he must hate her. Kouga was his leader and friend, he helped them get through the decimation of their entire tribe. What would he do now that he was gone? Kagome turned to lay the side of her head on her pillow and looked up at Ginta. She didn't know where she got the strength to even speak of the subject, let alone ask such a question. "Ginta, were-were you there?"

He didn't need to ask what she was referring to. "Hai."

"You saw?" Kagome felt her body tense. A selfish, self survival prone part of Kagome greedily whispered 'Please say no, say no, say you didn't see me distract your best friend and get him killed. Please say you didn't see that'

Ginta swallowed closing his eyes. "Hai, I saw."

"All of it?" Kagome whimpered, that selfish part of her hoping cruelly that he only say Kouga die and not the reason why he was so distracted from defending himself. She clutched her dead hair to tighter to her. Kami, she was a disgusting creature to hope such things.

"Hai." He whispered in a pained voice.

All the hope and fight seemed to leave Kagome's body. There was no hope for salvation. He saw everything. That little selfish part shriveled into itself at being 'caught'. She swallowed, the disgust coming back. 'Caught' as though she were just sneaking a cookie before dinner. Kagome rose her eyes to look him in the face.

"Do you hate me?" She asked in a small quiet voice. She stared up at him both fearing and dreading the answer, but needing to know it just the same.

He didn't look at her as she probably wanted him too. He looked into his lap and then at the window before whispering a determined "Hai".

Kagome's face clenched and winced as her fears came to life. She bit her lip to keep the sobs at bay. She had no right to cry, not when his hatred was so justified, she thought, quickly turning her head to bury her face into her pillow.

----------------------------------------------------------------------- ---

Woah that was a long one! Yay! Ok we're getting to the nittie grittie! Isn't everyone happy the fight scene is over! So whatchya think? Review people!

Luv peace and tanning grease

Deni

Chapter III - When You're Evil

-She couldn't stand this. The death, the burning, the hate, the regret. This was hell. She was a fallen angel in hell. No, this wasn't hell. She would welcome the deserving punishment that would ease her self hatred. No, she was a demon in heaven.