InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Silence the Fairytale ❯ Reprocussions ( Chapter 23 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Inuyasha was numb.

He had found Tessaiga, and easily.

...all he had to do was follow the scent of death and human blood.

They laid there, disemboweled, and for the first time ever...

Inuyasha was happy Kagome had been hurt.

That way, she'd never know of the horrible crimes he had committed that day.

Blame didn't begin to cover what he was feeling.

It was hell.

Damnation.

He felt cursed, for the first time in a long while...

He was faced with the reality of exactly what his hanyou blood meant.

Slowly, he picked up Tetsusaiga, which was still drenched in dried blood and bits of rotting flesh, though he had only used his claws on the men. It was symbolic of exactly how far he had taken his massacre.

Even Tetsusaiga had been tainted.

Just like him.

"Forgive me, Oyaji..." he murmured, bitterly, the taste on the air tickling his throat and forcing him to swallow his shame.

...he knew, his Chichiue... The legendary Inu no Taisho, had left him Tetsusaiga as an heirloom.

To seal his youkai blood.

...and prevent exactly this from happening.

And though, it had not been the first time, and Inuyasha was sure it would not be the last either.... It wasn't any easier a burden to bear.

Just another scar to add among the rest.

Only this time...

...he had a new fear.

"...will my claws... turn on you next, Kagome?"

Sighing deeply, he examined those very same claws that still had flakes of dried blood beneath them.

And he wondered... why hadn't he noticed it before?

Curling his hand into a fist, he decided to concentrate on other things.

Inuyasha set Testusaiga on his obi belt after he had cleaned it best he could and went about making reparations where he could... in the only way he thought he could.

...Getting down on his hands and knees, Inuyasha set his hands in the earth... and began to dig.

...And he would dig until he had made proper graves for every one of the men he knew he had mercilessly slaughtered when he could have merely incacipated them, and hoped their spirits would have some sort of peace.

Because he knew this was just another score on his already dirty conscience.




"Inuyasha?" her soft voice drifted to him, and he felt ashamed, as if he had been caught doing something wrong.

He guessed, in some way, this was evidence that he had.

He was standing in the freezing cold river, the same one they had found Buyo next to, and scrubbing himself with moss.

He kept at it, scrubbing and scurbbing, to the point of scratching himself raw.

Still, he could not get himself to feel clean.

He knew he had been gone much longer than the promised half hour, and so undoubtedly had Kagome come looking for him... another strike against him, another thing to make him feel like filth.

...he knew how dizzy she was, and knew she must have been worried over him.

"...what are you doing?"

He knew, despite feeling accused, it was all in his imagination.

Kagome didn't know.

And even if she did, would she judge him harshly?

...His mark on her was already enough.

Would she?

Could... she...

Ever hate him...?

...for what he had done?

Still, he bristled defensively, not bothering to face her. He knew his muscles were taut, and he doubly felt like shit for only showing her his back when he knew she deserved much better than that for her concern.

"Nothing! Go back to the den, Kagome. You aren't feeling well."

...a moment of silence, and no sound of movement.

She stayed?

But she didn't press him, asking questions he didn't know if he could answer.

Instead, what she did next surprised him.

At the sound of a small splash, he felt the water ripple around him and he knew she had waded into the water with him. She came up behind him, and wrapped her arms around him as far as they could reach.

He could feel her trembling along the icy cold touch of her fingertips, the temprature obviously affecting her, but he could tell she didn't care.

Couldn't care.

"I understand... it's okay Inuyasha."

He stiffened, a growl exiting his being before he could stop it.

Did she know?

How could she?

He refused to believe it.

...because if she did, she'd be running away in fear.

She'd hate him, loathe him, despise him...

He could just imagine, her screaming furiously at him.

I hate you!

Like everyone else.

...the thought was too much to bear. He wanted to dig his claws into his face and scream out loud.

But he didn't.

Instead, he refused her. Again.

"You don't know what you're talking about..." he said roughly, his voice hoarse.

He could feel it.

As if he hadn't drank in years.

As if he had been under the scorching sun, left to rot and die, tied down next to a river he couldn't reach.

...that's what he felt like, on the inside.

...could she just see it?

Sense it?

...perhaps, feel it?

"...It's not your fault... Inu..."

She pressed her soft cheek against the flesh between his shoulder blades, and she gave him a gentle squeeze.

He wanted to throw her off of him, to rage at her that she was wrong, that she was insane for saying those things, that of course it was his fault, all of it was his fault and it was always his fault, all the fucking time. Every time she ever got hurt, every time her life was a little bit worse, and that every single one of those fuckers he disemboweled did not deserve--

He shuddered.

...He wanted to.

He wanted to, but he couldn't.

Because... she was holding him.

In a way that no other had done, since his okaa-san had died all those numberless years ago.

And he was choking on those emotions, that tender touch belying the fact he could not hide from her.

Not any longer.

... and just when had she gotten under his skin so deep?

...when had she come to reside in his heart so fully?

...why had he let her?

He turned around suddenly, pulling her slight frame flush against his body, burying his face in her hair and muttering her namesake.

"...K'gome..."

It was garbled, his throat constricted, his chest tight.

He wanted to cry...

...he didn't want to cry.

He wanted to scream and shout and roar so loudly until it tore his throat.

...and he wanted to remain silent so no one would know.

He just didn't care anymore...

...and he cared only for her.

He was confused, and just held her like a lifeline, the only sensible thing to him at that moment.

...and she seemed to understand his need, stroking his back gently, soothingly.

Inuyasha wasn't sure...how long they stood there, in that ice cold water, just holding one another.

It seemed surreal.

...like a nightmare, and a wonderful dream.

All the same, he barely remembered how they went back to their new 'home'.

...lit a fire, removed their clothes to dry.

...cuddled up next to one another, to keep warm, or so they said.

Her head against his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close.

Buyo curled up next to his side, an extra measure of heat.

...like a small and happy, and very loving family.

Kagome.

...his only family...

...Just that wonderful dream.

Is it just an illusion?

Something he could never, ever imagine had actually come to be.






The next morning, when he awoke, he was surprised to find Kagome absent.

And he was still very, very naked.

...and their clothes, so very, very gone.

So of course, what was the typical answer of a rational inu-hanyou male who had lost their only female?

Pure and utter panic.

Shouting, mayhem, and an absolute need to destory whoever might have 'taken her'.

Following her scent was easy enough.

And, of course, when he found her, it wasn't at all like the scenario he had pumped himself up to imagine.

There would be no bloody battle over her honor.

There would be no insults, or pride, or shows of strength.

Only she, sitting on the egde of that river, a pile of fish laid next to her.

The pile of their recently washed clothes on the other side of her.

She, dressed only in his outer haori, which hung loosely and was still apparently somewhat damp on her shoulders.

Her hair was wet, testament to a early morning bath.

...in freezing temperatures.

In all his self-righteous anger, he forgot he was nude.

And he scolded her and lectured her like a bad child, despite her mortified blush and her eyes fixated on his... lower regions... barely listening to him as he ranted and raved and cursed angrily.

"How could you leave without letting me know?! Damnit, Kagome, you're such an idiot! Especially after the other day! Did you forget about that already?! Those bastards nearly ran off with you! And here we are, in the middle of a goddamn forest probably filled with youkai and you're half-naked and looking probably all too delicious for some mangy, filthy oni to come and eat you. You didn't even bring your weapon! How stupid are you?!"

Huff, puff, stomp the foot, act all indignant and Kagome wasn't even paying attention what was supposed to be the main show.

"Not only that, it's fucking cold outside! You're only a weak human! Do you wanna get sick or something?! Your hair is all wet! The clothes are too! Do I have to watch every step you take?! Baka!"

He went over to her, grabbing her by the arm as she held the load of freshly laundered clothes, and he grabbed the fish with the other as he bounded off to their cave.

He restarted a fire, and hung their clothes up yet again to dry, and set the fish to grill for breakfast while still muttering angrily under his breath...

And Kagome still was staring at him.

By then, he had had enough.

"What?! Do you have something to say?! Say it already!"

She swallowed audibly, shook her head and merely pointed at him.

...he looked down, and realized the full extent of his nudity.

...which was completely.

Cursing in embarrassment, he went and retrieved his hakama pants and obi belt which were still thoroughly soaked, covered himself and sat down in front of the fire to warm himself.

Crossing his arms and closing his eyes, he tried to quell the stress that was threatening to make him a complete and total asshole.

The last couple of days had really done a number on him.

...couldn't he just have peace?

Sighing, he opened his eyes and lifted them to the opening above them that let light sift through the cave, and he asked Kami why he took such personal pleasure in making sure his life was a hellhole.












< br>