InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Silver Fur and Azure Feathers ❯ Cold Sentiments ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

By: Senkura

Cold Sentiments

Ayame-Naru allowed her hair to fall across her face, veiling her from the rest of the household, and from Sesshomaru, as Lord Inutaisho announced to the servants that she was engaged to his son. She fought down a sick feeling and an embarrassed flush as the servants offered her their congratulations and best wishes.

She accepted them with as much grace as she could muster, extremely careful not to look in the direction of her supposed “fiancé”. She felt a twist of guilt also, as she was congratulated by people she had known all her life, who seemed genuinely pleased for her, even though the entire thing was a lie to ensure her safety. In truth, she wanted to curl up in a corner and weep.

First, she had heard that Ryukotsusei wanted her for a concubine slave; to tear her from her family, and abuse her and debase her for his own sick pleasures. And now she was “engaged” to a cold-faced demon who resented her for the trouble she was causing him. Kami-sama, why can I not be left alone with my books and my garden? Kami-sama, why am I being tormented like this? She was careful to keep her fear and anguish locked inside, so that the strong noses of the people around her wouldn't detect it. It would only worry her father and annoy Sesshomaru.

As soon as dinner was finished, she slipped from the room and fled out into the garden. Finding her way through the maze of courtyards, hedges and lawns, she finally found her way to a tiny courtyard, with flowers covering the walls, a stone bench underneath a winding, flowering tree and a small, gurgling fountain. She washed her face in the fountain to cool herself, and then sank to the ground, sitting with her back against the bench. She drew her knees close for warmth. It was chilly out tonight.

After a while she allowed her head to drop back onto the bench and stare up at the stars. There was a crescent moon out that night, and it reminded her too much of Sesshomaru, so she closed her eyes, shutting it out. She listened to the water burbling instead and the call of night-birds. The scents of water, and cool night air and flowers reached her nose. She could feel the ground underneath her fingertips, and the silk of her kimono.

“Little sister?”

Ayame-Naru's eye's snapped open. She turned her head to see her older sister Kyoko standing on the edge of the courtyard. Her sister's expression was gentle and sympathetic. Again, the young tenshi felt the overwhelming urge to cry. It bled out into her aura and her sister sensed it. She moved closer and sat down on the bench.

Kyoko's hand settled on Ayame-Naru's head. “Cry if you want. It's not a sign of weakness, little sister.” Ayame turned towards her sister and put her head on her lap. She turned her body round to face her sister and rested her cheek on her knee. It came slowly, the release. The soothing feeling of her sister's hand stroking her hair, the events of the day crashing down on her; eventually she was weeping silently into her sister's lap, her shoulders shaking slightly and her hands gripping her sister's.

She wept from fear, she wept from exhaustion and she wept from frustration. All the while her sister stroked her hair soothingly. When the crying fit ceased, she raised her head and wiped her eyes. She rose to her feet slowly and washed her flushed and stained face in the fountain.

Wordlessly, she embraced her sister briefly and made her way into the palace. She entered through a garden door, and took the empty servant staircases (most of the servants being at their dinner), until she finally reached the library. She checked that there was no presence in there before she entered. Snatching random books off of the shelves, she made a small pile and crept down a couple of corridors to her chambers. Once there she locked herself in, closing the shutters over the windows and but leaving the door to the balcony ajar.

She had promised that she would not bother Sesshomaru, and she would be true to her word. She would make it impossible for them to run into each other by shutting herself up in her room for the next few days until he and his father left, hence the pile of books. Thankfully, she would not really need to eat.

Ayame-Naru undressed for bed, pausing momentarily to glance at her form in the mirror. The brief thought of what Ryukotsusei probably wanted to do to her body made her feel shameful and she grabbed her sleeping yukuta. She tied it tightly. She closed the door to the balcony and climbed into bed, hoping not to dream.

***

Tataru-Seda was accosted that morning by his sister's servant, Momiji.

“Tataru-Seda-sama! Tataru-Seda-sama!” he heard her calling him from down the corridor and turned to see the middle-aged maid quite out of breath.

“What's the matter, Momiji?” he asked, with a touch of amusement.

“It's Ayame-Naru-sama. She locked her door last night, and told me this morning that she `probably wouldn't be leaving her room for the next few days, so I was dismissed and free to do as I pleased'. She didn't sound sick Tataru-Seda-sama. She sounded unhappy, and tired. Can you speak to her, Tataru-Seda-sama?”

He looked down at the servant for a couple of moments and then moved past her, walking until he came to his sister's door.

“Ayame-chan?” He tapped on the doorframe with a knuckle. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, brother. I'm fine.” Her voice sounded weary.

“Would you like me to send for someone?”

“No, brother. Please, don't worry. I just want some rest. And tell Momiji to keep her teeth together. I don't want Father or his guests to know.”

He sighed. “Very well, little sister. Sleep well.”

“I will.”

He looked at Momiji and shrugged. “Just leave her be.”

***

A day and a night had passed and somehow he had not laid eyes on the tenshi again after she had slipped out of the dinner room. He wondered idly where she had gone. Considering her words, “I swear I shall not be a bother to you”, she appeared to be keeping her promise. She was nowhere in sight. He couldn't have caught a glimpse of his little “fiancée” even if he had wanted to.

He spent the day being told by some of the servants who were low level youkai what a wonderful mate the tenshi would make him. Apparently, she was kind but firm, beautiful but not vain, sensitive but not weak, strong but not harsh, and very kind and loving, if a little melancholy and mysterious around the edges. In reality, of course, he couldn't care less. The female would never be his mate and that was the end of it.

Even if he wanted her for a mate, which he didn't, he had heard from her own mouth that she didn't want a mate. Strange though, it had seemed that she was actually ashamed that he had been chosen to play the part of her fiancé. Not ashamed that it was him, more ashamed that anyone had to lie for her just to ensure her safety. Strange woman.

***

The moon had reached its full zenith as the youkai soldiers sat in their camp, awaiting the call of their general. The call to battle. The call to- Ayame-Naru gave up and tossed the book aside. She covered her face with her hands and sank into the embrace of the divan. She wanted out of here. Out of these walls and away from the palace.

She wanted to fly over the mountains and lakes and forests. She wanted to sleep in trees and hunt for food. She just wanted to get out. She had been forbidden to leave the palace grounds unescorted for two years, ever since that sick bastard Ryukotsusei had set his sights on her. He had laid his poisonous gaze on her and restricted her life.

More than anything, she wanted to get away before anyone else had the chance to congratulate her on her sham of an engagement. She rolled onto her stomach and extended her wings fully above her head; stretching each appendage to its nine feet span. Then out to the side to complete her eighteen foot wingspan. Once the tension was released, she lazily half folded them again, and let them flop over each side of the divan.

She kicked off her tabi and shifted onto her side, throwing both wings out behind her. Finally comfortable, she reached for another book; this time on ancient Japanese faerie tales. Two pages in, she was interrupted by a tap at the door and her mother's voice.

“Ayame-Naru, dear. Why haven't I or your father seen you for two days?”

“Mother…I'm just resting and catching up on my reading…!” she replied lamely.

She heard her mother's exasperated sigh and the sound of her moving away down the corridor. She slumped back onto the divan in relief and sought out the page she had lost.

***

“Is the child unwell?” Takemaru asked his mate as she entered his study. Inutaisho also happened to be seated in a corner, a book open on his knee.

“No, Takemaru. She says she's `resting and catching up on her reading'. Something like that.” She sighed and sat on the windowsill, looking out over the gardens. “I don't think there's anything wrong with her. I think she's just hiding out and feeling shy. You know how she is. All the attention this engagement is bringing is enough to send her running for cover.” She turned to Inutaisho. “Not that we are not grateful to both you and your son for your aid, Inutaisho-san. Our daughter is grateful too. She is just shy.”

“Hn. My son had mentioned that he hadn't seen her for two days. I'm sure she'll emerge when things calm down. She seems a level-headed young woman. I don't think there's much need to worry.” Inutaisho returned his attention to the book.