InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Simple and Clean ❯ Alone Again ( Chapter 13 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Urrggghh… I am not feeling that great right now. Actually, the only reason I'm on the computer is because my mother is currently out of word because apparently she sprained her shoulder and can't pick up the phone… gee, I guess that's why you've been chatting with your friends, for what, three hours now? Yeah, well, I have this terrible head cold, and have tissue permanently jammed up my nose to keep it from running. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter; I'm off for another bowl of chicken noodle soup… why am I the only one who gets sick all the time?
Recap:
Raising his head confidently, as if the last few minutes had not even happened, Miroku brushed a few stray stands of hair behind his ear and said cheerfully, “Well I hope you feel better soon, Sango!” Sango watched, still in a state of shock, as the substitute teacher walked quickly from her room.
She slumped back down on her pillows with a confused sigh.
What in the world just happened?
Chapter 13
Alone Again
Kagome waited patiently in English class, shooting furtive glances over at Inuyasha every five minutes. She was happy it was the last class of the day; it had been unusually awkward between her and the boy. She had hoped he would just brush off their fight, but he seemed genuinely hurt by the whole encounter. He never even glanced over her direction the entire class, and instead stared straight ahead, eyes unfocused.
When the bell finally rang, Kagome hefted her back quickly over her shoulder, and as fast as she could without falling over sideways, (Her bag was a little too heavy for her) and jetted over to Inuyasha. “Hey,” She said softly, unsure if he had noticed her or if he was just ignoring her, “Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean for it to turn out the way it did.” Kagome looked up at Inuyasha's face, hoping for an expression of some sort.
All she got was an ice-cold stare. “What's your problem Kagome? What do you need me for, why don't you go flirt with that doctor instead of wasting your time on someone like me?” He asked viciously, glaring at the girl. Kagome jerked her head down, breaking her gaze at Inuyasha. Before she realized what was happening, hot tears sprang from her eyes, blurring her vision. She could feel them racing down her cheek, blazing trails for the next stream of tears to follow.
At this Inuyasha panicked, “No, don't cry Kagome, I didn't mean it that way!”
Kagome forced her chin up to look up at the alarmed boy, “That's just it Inuyasha! You did mean it that way! I don't live up to your expectations, do I?” She paused for a moment, taking a breath. Lowing her voice menacingly, she continued, “Well I have news for you, I'm not the person you thought I was because I'm not Kikyo, am I? Don't think of me knowing who Kikyo, how she acted; think of me knowing who Kagome is!”
Inuyasha froze. She could see right through him. He had never mentioned anything about how different the two were, but he realized now that whatever Kagome did, he compared to Kikyo. Every phrase, smile and laugh was recorded in his mind, comparing it robotically to Kikyo, scanning over the defects meticulously, scrutinizing every wrongness. Inuyasha ran his hand through his hair uncomfortably, looking at Kagome. Was she the wrongness? Or was his perspective the thing that was skewed? He didn't know. Kagome wasn't crying anymore, but a look of rage had replaced her sad one. As much as he didn't like to see Kagome cry, he had to admit, this mood wasn't much better.
“Kagome, I thought I had gotten over Kikyo,” Inuyasha started off hesitantly, “But the more I'm with you, the more I'm reminded of her. You both are so different, but sometimes I see her in you… something you say, an expression, or-” Kagome cut him off fiercely, “I don't care about that, I am who I am and no one can change that!” She sighed sadly and busied herself with unlocking her bike from the bike rack, “Look Inuyasha, I think it's better if we took a break from each other for a while. This is too much for me to handle. After a while, we can try to start over, but I can't be around you anymore, not for right now at least.”
With that the girl hopped on her bike, and pedaled away, leaving a confused Inuyasha in her emotional wake. He just stood there, watching her figure grow smaller and smaller until it disappeared altogether. He started walking, all emotions steadily draining from him altogether. He was walking in the opposite direction of her. Who was she really? Had he ever taken the time to get to know her? I'm taking the opposite road now… he couldn't help thinking that it was as much an emotional road as a physical road.
Who do I choose?
* * *
By the time Kagome had gotten halfway to the shrine her face was soaked in tears. The wind blew harshly against her unprotected face, and she shivered as it dried the briny droplets, leaving behind the salty trails that coated her face. Who am I to him? Kagome thought sadly, knowing the answer. She was just a girl, a face in a sea of other, unimportant faces. She would never measure up to Kikyo, and the knowledge graced her face with new tears to replace the old ones. Did she even want to take Kikyo's place? Or did she want to make a place of her own?
She parked her bike inside the shrine and crept up to her room, trying to make as little noise as possible, and yet hoping that someone would hear her and come to comfort her. However much she wished for condolence, it never came. She had no idea how long she sat there, but when she finally got into bed, the moon had already finished half of its journey across the sky.
She pulled the blankets up to her chin and rolled onto her side, leaving a damp spot on her pillow where her tears fell. `After a while, we can try to start over…' would they really start over? Or had she broken whatever fragile bond they had? Inuyasha's confused face was cemented into her head…
What happens now?
* * *
Inuyasha sat on the corner of his roll-out sofa bed. He breathed in the smell of the house; old and musty and familiar. Even the smells that calmed him could not bring back the warmth that had flooded out of his heart. It was if someone had pulled out the stopper in the bathtub and let all of the water drain out. His mind was still frozen. He felt no emotions at all. It was as if somehow time had stopped altogether and he was stuck in some kind of suspended reality. He kept replaying what had happened that afternoon over and over in his head and yet it still hadn't fully sunk in.
Somehow, he managed to roll into bed, clothes and all. He stared impassively at the moon, halfway through the sky, and wondered what Kagome was doing at that moment. Was she thinking of him? He impulsively wiped his eyes to find that they were damp. He pulled the covers over his head to hide the tears from the moon… and from his heart.
Alone, he was alone again.
* * *
I am such a slow writer and to add insult to injury, I am also a procrastinator… shame shame! Okay, well, I hope I'll have more time in the future to write more, don't give up on me just yet!