InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Since then ❯ Separate Lives ( Chapter 6 )

Since Then

By: Rachel Elizabeth

-Separate Lives-

You called me from the room in your hotel
All full of romance for someone that you met
And telling me how sorry you were, leaving so soon
And that you miss me sometimes when you're alone in your room
Do I feel lonely too?

You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
We can't go on just holding on to time
Now that we're living separate lives.

Well I held on to let you go
And if you lost your love for me, well you never let it show
There was no way to compromise
So now we're living
Separate lives.

Ooh, it's so typical, love leads to isolation

So you build that wall
Yes, you build that wall

And you make it stronger.

Well you have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
Some day I might find myself looking in your eyes
But for now, we'll go on living separate lives
Yes for now, we'll go on living separate lives
Separate lives.

In times of crisis the only thing that seemed reasonable was . . . to run!

In Mira's case, she had run. She had run until her little legs could not run anymore and she thought that she would collapse from fatigue. What a way to go, she thought, sinking into depression.

That's how they had found her, but she still remembered . . .

She remembered how each night that her mother and she traveled Sango became more drawn into herself. To Mira, this was the worst kind of rejection possible, but the next morning it seemed as though her mother had changed into a completely different person. Mira knew in her heart that this depression had nothing to do with herself, but it was hard to travel knowing that every step that you took caused your only mother, your flesh and blood, a pain so great that she was prone to crying herself to sleep at night.

Mira wasn't completely ignorant as to what had transpired. Many times she had heard her father and her mother speaking about Mira meeting her real father. Mira had known, and though she would like to believe otherwise, (for she loved her papa dearly!) she knew that the man who had fathered her was not the man that she had called papa for the past nine years of her life. She knew it, but she had never wanted to believe that it could be true. And after staying with the man that was called Miroku, the pretty lady, Kagome, and her mate, (and their kid!) she had grown unavoidably attached to them. This was not how it was suppose to be! Her father had abandoned her mother in her time of need and now the only daughter of that mother was betraying her. However, whenever Mira looked at that innocent face of Miroku's she couldn't-no, wouldn't-believe that he had run out on someone just as wonderful as her mother. It didn't seem plausible to the nine year old that two people who had obviously had a past could abandon each other so recklessly.

Finally, when her mother and she had been only a day away from the village where Miroku and the other's were, her mothers steps had slowed and she had started to sway from side to side. Mira only looked at her mother and tears started welling up in her eyes. Time and time again Mira asked her mother if she would like for her to just go on by herself, but each time Sango only shook her head and moved forward. In the end when they had indeed reached the outside of the village, Sango's tears had poured freely from her eyes, and Mira was at a loss as to what she should do.

After that, things were a little blurry as to what exactly happened. Mira remembered clearly seeing a pack of soldiers coming towards them and she remembered their leering faces towards her mother and her mother screaming at Mira to run and look for a man name `Miroku' but after that things seemed a little hazy. One of the men had approached her and knocked her upside her head with the hilt of his sword and she had been unconscious for quite a number of days. By the time she had awoken her mother was gone and she had been left to deal with herself. For days it seemed as though she stayed by the brook and washed and cleaned herself. Whatever food she found was scarce and she barely ate enough of it to sustain her for half of a day. However, with each passing day it became more and more clear to her that the last thing her mother would have her do was sit around and be saddened.

When the tides of depression were at their highest, Mira decided that it was time for her to find the man Miroku who had been her true father. If she could understand why he had left her mother and if he was worthy Mira would allow him to help her look for her mother. Mira didn't even know what she was saying anymore. There was no way that she would refuse any kind of help in looking for her mother.

However, when she got to the village with Miroku and the others, she found that she had lost the will to speak to anyone. The guy, Miroku, was a very nice and funny person and it was easy to get attached to him. She could even tell that she kind of looked like him, though she would have never told anyone that. For she loved her papa dearly! The more days passed, the more Mira realized that though she didn't want to speak of it, she had to let someone know that her mother was gone. The reaction to her statement that her mother was gone was a surprising one, in fact. Mira watched closely as the man Miroku's eyes grew round with worry. It was obvious from his expression that he didn't know that Sango had had a child or he was just worried that she may be hurt . . . or worse. The latter thought probably crossed his mind before the first and Mira realized that her feelings had been hurt.

Through the time that she had been staying with the nice people, it never once crossed her mind that perhaps Miroku did not even know that he had had a child, but when she had told Kagome the news of Sango, her mother, it was clear from the reactions that no one had expected that she was related to Miroku. Mira couldn't tell if Miroku liked this last thought or not, but it was clear that he was ready to help Sango. Perhaps in time, after they made sure that her mom was okay and that everything was as it should be, Mira could bring the subject back up with Miroku.

However, when the nice people started to search for her mom, (leaving her at home!), Mira realized that she was more and more curious to know if Miroku could even love her like a father should. It was disheartening to think that her real father didn't want any kids, and even more disturbing was the fact that he never spoke to Mira about what she had announced to him. Perhaps Mira was wrong. Maybe the thought that she was his child had never crossed his mind. Maybe he thought that her mom had remarried after being with Miroku and he thought to just protect her mom's child. She didn't care, the only thing that mattered now was the fact that she was his child and no matter if hell came to swallow her whole, she would let him know what she thought. She had to know. She loved her papa dearly, but if this man was her real father, she had a right to love him as well!

"Ano . . . " Mira mumbled, looking up from the dish that had been served to her. Miroku glanced at her and saw her faced wrinkled with consternation.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, concerned for her welfare and unsure of how to proceed. He had never dealt very well with children and though this child wasn't his, she was still a part of Sango. This fact more than any other made him love her.

"Can . . . I ask you something? Privately?" she whispered, dismayed to realize that Kagome and Inuyasha had stopped eating to look up and listen to the conversation.

"Sure." At this, Mira stood up and held out her hand to Miroku, propelled by the idea that he would finally, finally know everything that he needed to. Maybe then Mira could know what it was like to be loved by her real father.

"I-ah, well it's just kinda stuffy in there," Mira announced to him, crinkling her nose at the way that she was prolonging the encounter. Didn't she want to know what his reaction would be? Didn't she care at all that she had found her real papa? Every day at home she would wonder why her father had blonde hair and blue eyes, why it was that her mom always spoke in whispered tones to her papa about her real father. So why was it now that she had her real father in front of her she continued to be at a loss for words? Why couldn't she come out and say what she had always wanted to say when she met her true papa?

"Mira? Is something wrong?" Miroku asked, worried at the look that had crossed the child's features. The more he stared at the child the more he realized every day that she looked so much like her mother it was almost painful for him. The only thought that could even rouse him from his depression was the fact that Sango had found someone who had truly loved and cared for her and given her the child that she had always wanted.

Mira faced him again and looked deep into his eyes. "I-No. Nothing." She couldn't tell him. She had never felt the sharp edge of rejection and she did not want to feel it with the man that was her real father. Maybe after they found Sango, maybe than.

She couldn't betray her mother.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

AN: Yay! New chapter! I love you, minna-san! Truly! Sorry it took me so long to update this chapter. I'm a dork. But, if you noticed this chapter is short. So, this is what I'm doing, I'm going to post shorter chapters (about three or so pages long) and I'll put them up more quickly. I think. So be on the look out for the next chapter. Sorry about this chapter, too I know it's kind of two-dimensional, but Mira is a major player in this story and she needs some love. Don't forget to review. And if you'd like to know when I update, you can join my mailing list and the link is in my Fanfiction bio. That way you'll know when I update. Ciao.