InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Slave ❯ Chap 18 – Lost again… ( Chapter 19 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: sadeness 
Will Inuyasha get over his new loss?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 09.29.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 752 | Status: Work In Progress
Will Inuyasha get over his new loss?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 09.29.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 752 | Status: Work In Progress
Slave
Disclaimer: I do not own any of Inuyasha characters. I am making no money off this story. This applies to all future chapters. Inuyasha characters & story © 2003 Rumiko Takahashi.
Summary: Will Inuyasha get over his new loss?
Special thanks to: All the readers
Very special thanks to: My Beta (in this chapter the special participation and work of Peri Winkle) and The Reviewers (J0kEr, Nikkie23534 and Jester08).
Here it is chapter 18. I do hope it is a little less sad and depressing. Please do not hurt Sesshoumaru-chan, he is trying his best. LOL.
I am working on chapters 19 and 20 and soon I hope I will be able to add/post them.
A.N.: “Mental-speech conversations”; ‘Thoughts’; “Dialogues”
Chap 18 – Lost again…
(Back with Inuyasha)
Inuyasha had collapsed and had been left alone in the room. Kanna had been there earlier to take away the baby’s “dead” body. Inuyasha did not know it but, in fact, everything was staging, they were all pretending to keep Inuyasha deeply deceived into all the depraved and wicked plot of Naraku.
The baby, Hakudoshi was faking his death, and as soon as Kanna was far enough from Inuyasha’s room, he opened his eyes.
“Kanna, let me be alone in a room this night, my body needs to be placed in a comfortable and calm place to mature completely.” Hakudoshi said to Kanna in a demanding tone. Kanna just continued to walk with him in her arms without demonstrating any change in her stoic face. When they get in front of Naraku´s room, Naraku himself was by the door.
“Here is the baby.” Kanna said emotionless.
“Ah. How was that Hakudoshi?” Naraku asked. Grabbing Kanna by one arm, Naraku aimed her at another room in the end of the corridor.
“It was simple; I just made the inu-bitch think of me as a dead body, now he is there, unconscious. I guess you will enjoy disposing of him yourself.” Hakudoshi filled in the picture while they were going to the room.
“Hummm… interesting… you will be here in this room for now. We will talk more tomorrow, Hakudoshi.” Naraku said pulling Kanna and Hakudoshi inside the room.
“As you wish, Naraku.” Hakudoshi replied and once again closed his eyes.
Kanna placed down the baby on the futon by the window and left without saying or thinking anything.
*
Naraku left Inuyasha alone for some days.
During this time, Inuyasha barely moved, as he was too weak and too miserable to have any reactions; even eating was somewhat difficult to the hanyou. But the worst thing for Inuyasha was close his eyes; whenever he slept he would have dreams, or better said, nightmares. He would have nightmares about the dead baby as Sesshoumaru finally came to rescue them. Sesshoumaru then would be very furious with the hanyou and blame him for the baby’s death and in the dream, Sesshoumaru always ended up saying he would not want Inuyasha anymore.
Inuyasha was so devastated that he even talked during this nightmares and he would wake up hyperventilating and crying.
*
Naraku knew about the nightmares and the younger hanyou’s fears and he planned to use that information to torture the smaller and younger hanyou when he finally decided to resume his visits.
*
“Hello Inuyasha, did you miss me?” Naraku said while he walked around the futon that Inuyasha was on. Naraku could not hide his lack of pleasure looking at the now pitiful appearance of Inuyasha. Naraku had been disgusted with Inuyasha’s actual condition, although he would come to ‘play’ and fuck the hanyou.
“Please, let me be with my baby.” Inuyasha pleaded.
“Your baby is dead, Inuyasha; you can not be with him.” Naraku replied, faking a gentle voice.
“So, I beg you Naraku-sama, kill me please...” Inuyasha whimpered.
“No, I can not do that. You see, you are supposed to give me other babies and also in the future you are going to be back with Sesshoumaru. Isn’t that what you wanted the most?” Naraku said while his tentacles grabbed Inuyasha’s legs, spreading them apart, putting in one tentacle and violently shoving in and out of Inuyasha till he come, totally ignoring Inuyasha’s supplications.
*
The scene would be repeated every other day. Inuyasha was not eating and was getting thinner and very weak physically and his youki would be in a level higher than the level he was when Hakudoshi was draining it. Whenever he would find the strength Inuyasha would plead to be killed, and that insistence was something that was getting on the nerves of Naraku.
**
Naraku finally decided to put an end to Inuyasha’s imprisonment.
“Good afternoon Inuyasha, I have good news for you!” Naraku said while coming inside the room followed by Kanna and a bitten Kagura. “I am totally disgusted with you, so I have decided that it is time to discard you.” With disdain, Naraku grabbed the broken hanyou by the hair. “I was expecting much more of you. Not this lamentable excuse of an inu-hanyou that you are.” Naraku let go of Inuyasha, who simply hit the floor by the futon.
Inuyasha did not move; he was just waiting the final deadly strike from Naraku. “But do not worry my dear, I will not kill you--”
When Inuyasha heard Naraku would not kill him, the smaller hanyou lifted his head, confused.
Naraku realizing the confusion, decided to be a little benevolent and explained his motives. Whispering in the hanyou’s ears, he said, “I will dispose of you far from here, so your beloved Sesshoumaru will be able to finally find you sooner or later.” Naraku chuckled and continued, “Actually, finding you was his only assignment, but I think he had failed it, don’t you think, Inuyasha?” Getting even closer to the hanyou’s head Naraku licked the already torn ear and once again whispered to him. “You were all this time in here depending on him to find you and what you did get? Did he really want to find you or not?” Again Naragu backed away from Inuyasha and ordered Kanna and Kagura to put a kimono on Inuyasha. While they were in this task Naraku added. “But… that is not of my business anymore, since I am going to set you free now.
“Please Naraku-sama, what do I have to do to be killed? I can’t be alive. I am not worthy of it. Please--” Inuyasha howling supplication to Naraku, but he did not get any reply from the evil older, and now powerful, hanyou. And then in total despair he tried to ask the same thing of Kanna. “Please Kanna, help me, kill me, or at least help me do it.” Once again, no reply came. As a result, grabbing Kagura’s clothes, he begged her, “Kagura… you despise me, so please, use your powers and fighting abilities and kill me.” Inuyasha continued pleading and bawling.
“Kukuku… Inuyasha, Inuyasha, there is no need to ask them, maybe, I said, maybe, you could have a little help from any starving youkai in the forest, ne? If you are lucky enough, some youkai will find you, kill you and eat you. Perhaps not in that order. Even though, try to think about that,” Naraku said, grabbing Inuyasha by the hair once again and dragging him out of the room and out of the castle.
Outside, Naraku, with an evil smirk, engulfed them both in a black cloud of miasma, and took off in a vertiginous flying velocity. After some hours Naraku dropped Inuyasha in a river running through a forest somewhere in the Eastern Lands.
It was a moonless evening, so Inuyasha was in his ningen form. The fall was nearly fatal. Inuyasha was horribly hurt, as he almost sank and drowned.
****
The river current dragged him to a bank where he remained till morning. Then he returned to his hanyou form and his instinct and his very weak youki guided him to a tree nearby. The tree had a huge cavity where he hid himself and slept.
Later that night, he was a little better and starving, so he had to leave his tree to try to find something to eat. It was then he found an old and broken knife and he used it in a foolish attempt to kill himself, but once again his instinct and youki saved him. So, even after bleeding a lot, the next morning when he woke up, he was once again inside his tree hole, although he was too weak to even lift his arms. That was when he saw two old ladies approaching. The ladies in fact were two old miko who had come across the puddle of his blood and the broken knife in the forest, so they were following its track. They were shocked to see the scared creature that was laid down inside the tree, and that it was still bleeding a little and was getting even scarier than it already was. The sisters were also afraid of the creature, but because they could feel the sorrow emerging from it, they decided to help it. Inuyasha tried to make them go away, but he was too weak, and after some ofudas, the miko sisters easily got him out of the tree and they took him to their house.
*
Two days later, due to his hanyou blood and the miko treatment, Inuyasha was much better physically, but emotionally he was still shattered.
At first he would cry all day long.
Both miko would try to talk with him but he would not talk at all. He was miserable because of his baby and his own lack of luck and inability to die. He was also afraid of Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha‘d rather die to face Sesshoumaru and tell him that their baby was dead due to his incapacity as a parent.
On the third day at the miko’s hut, the older miko sister, Kikyo, decided to be more forceful. She took out all the ofudas from the body of the creature and sat by its side and asked its name. Inuyasha raised his head and eyes and looked at her. His fear was still present and also his hatred. ‘Why did they have to take him out of his tree? Why are they treating his body-- why… why...?’ Inuyasha started to cry again, and he winced trying to get away from her.
Kikyo was already impatient and once again asked the creature its name, this time she got one of the creature’s hands in her hands, holding and trying to pass through it some assurance. “Please, tell me your name,” she said in a very calm and warm voice.
Inuyasha glanced at her with questioning eyes, but still said nothing.
“I am Kikyo, that--” she pointed to the other miko preparing something by the fire, “That is my younger sister, Kaede. We are Shinto miko, we live here in this small hut by this small Shinto shrine and we help the people from the villages nearby. Tell us a way to help you, young one.”
“Help me? No one can help me. I--I--” Inuyasha focused his eyes on the place for the first time since he arrived and he was hit by a fact. “You are miko and then-- and then you have the ability to defeat and kill youkai, don’t you?” Inuyasha said and without waiting for an answer he added “So-- I-- I am a youkai, you must kill me…,” his eyes full of tears.
“We would have killed you, if we sensed you represented or were danger or evil. But none of us have sensed that. You were bleeding and you were in awfully bad shape when we found you.” Kikyo said, holding a little bit tighter the creature’s hand.
“No! You must use your powers to kill me, any of you-- no, better-- better both of you, you must do that now. Please kill me,” Inuyasha pleaded on his knees.
“Once again, if you explain why such a young youkai, wants to die--”Kikyo was interrupted by Inuyasha.
“I am not a youkai; I am a hanyou-- a worthless and filthy hanyou. Nobody likes me, my mother is dead, my baby is dead, Sesshoumaru-sama will be mad at me and I am sure he will kill me when he discovers--” Inuyasha stopped talking to once again start crying.
“Poor young one… Hanyou or youkai, it does not matter to us right now. Tell us young one, what has happened to your mother and your father? Don’t you have anyone else in your family? You said something about a baby, as far as I know, youkai or hanyou, you need a mate to have one. Is the mother of your baby this Sesshoumaru?”
“NO! Sesshoumaru-sama is my baby’s father!” Inuyasha screamed and once again winced, he tried to be as far away as he could from that woman but she continued to hold his hand.
“Please, let me go, I need to leave, I can‘t stay here. If you are not going to kill me I must find a way or someone who will.” Inuyasha tried to stand up, but Kikyo was faster and put on his legs some ofudas, so he could not move, and then she placed one more on his back. Inuyasha was unable to leave the bed.
“WHY?” he asked.
Kikyo smiled and said. “I want you to tell me and in detail, all about you, your life and your past. And then, if I feel you are dangerous, I promise, I will kill you.”
“You do? Really?” Inuyasha’s mood changed.
“It’s a promise, now if I think you are not, you are going to stay here with us. Am I clear?”
“Yes Kikyo-miko-sama” Inuyasha answered, expecting that after telling all his life she would kill him.
“Just call us Kikyo and Kaede.” Kikyo said with serenity. Kaede, who was closer them smiled too and handed some herbal tea to the hanyou.
Inuyasha was confused, he could not leave the bed, but he could take and drink up the tea. ‘Something here is strange.’ Both sisters could sense the confusion and fear emanating from the boy. Kikyo, chuckling, informed the hanyou of the reason. “Do not worry young one, the ofuda is only to prevent you from running away. If you do not have the intention, you are able to move. Inuyasha just nodded his head in understanding and finished drinking his tea. The sisters advised him to sleep. Kikyo told him that he could tell them his past life the next day. Inuyasha, who was really tired, obediently did as he was told.
*
When Inuyasha woke up the following day, he was feeling better. The sisters had prepared a bath to him and they gave him some clothes. As both sisters were Shinto miko, the only garment they had were Shinto miko clothes– white long-sleeved haori and red hakama.
After the breakfast and some chores, the three sat by the Goshinboku, the “Sacred God Tree” and Inuyasha started to tell them everything about his life, since his first memories, from the place he used to live with his mother until the moment they had found him inside that old tree by the river.
The sisters had many questions, but neither of them interrupted the boy while he was telling them his past, because they realized that he was suffering having to expose himself that much.
In fact, to Inuyasha, telling all about his life was taking a lot of his energy. He was not one to talk to others about simple things and mainly his own life. He had learnt the worst way that humans were not trustworthy. They could be worst than youkai at times, but he was not that worried now, because he believed that he would die by their hands when he finished. But when Inuyasha finished, Kaede and Kikyo had a lot of questions. Kaede was the first to ask. “Inuyasha, what about your father? Even a lesser youkai would not allow their infant so young and as small as yourself alone in the world. What happened with your father after your mother passed away? I understand he is dead now.”
“My mother told me father was a powerful Inu-youkai, and he died during a battle just before I was born. He just could reach her in time to say her, my odd name.”
“Why did Sesshoumaru, your brother, not help you?”
“Sesshoumaru-sama was too busy with all his duties and he was raised inside the youkai society with their rules and all, he was royalty; he could never do anything for the hanyou his father had with a ningen. Even now, I am just his concubine. We could not have a complete and official mating ritual, just because I am a hanyou.
“So you have nobody to teach you how to use your youkai powers?” Kikyo asked.
“No. I have learned to use my claws, but they were not efficient during my nights as a ningen and also they were not helping during all the time I spent at Kiramau’s place.”
“Why have you not fought against all this things? Even as a human I would rather die to have to endure all that,” Kaede asked.
“He tried, Kaede-imouto, but they were using spells on him. To the youkai, our little Inuyasha was just a small boy, pretty enough to be a good source of treasures in some more years, the same way it happens to some girls and pretty boys from the villages. Youkai or Ningen, when they have bad personalities, they are all the same,” Kikyou said with pain in her voice.
“Gomen neesan.” Kaede said and looked back at Inuyasha to smile.
“It is not your fault, my dear Kaede, it is a sad fact. They even had left this boy to starve, so he would beg for food and would do whatever they wanted, and when he was totally shaped, it was too late. As you can see he is a boy, if he was human he would be in his twenties. He would never be this short or thin, if he had not suffered a lot. It is too late to change his lack of properly physical development.” Kikyo added.
“Oh.” Kaede looked from Kikyou to Inuyasha, amazed.
“So, do not waste your time preparing a lot of food, intending him to get taller or bigger.” Kikyo said giggling.
“Neesan!” Kaede replied, annoyed.
“Now let us all get inside. It is late and soon will be dark,” Kikyo said, standing up and aiming for the hut. Kaede was right behind her
“Oi! Kikyo-sama and Kaede-sama, aren’t you going to kill me now?” Inuyasha said, standing up with some difficulty.
“Not today, Inu-otouto, you do have more questions to answer. Now let us get something to eat and prepare to sleep. Tomorrow we will talk more. Tomorrow…” Kikyo said, without looking back and without stopping walking.
Due to Kikyo and Kaedes’ tremendous care Inuyasha was getting better day by day. Also the pure air, without that evil miasma from Naraku’s castle, was helping a lot.
Kikyo and Kaede lived around and near many small villages, so people from all the villages surrounding the area would come and visit them, asking for healing, remedies, prays, care and etc. Inuyasha was aware of it early the next day. The trio did not have any free time to talk as they had the previous day. Kikyo and Kaede worked mostly outside or in the shrine, while Inuyasha after exerting a lot of willpower to not runaway and ride from the strangers, was all daylong brewing tea as the sisters had taught him and ointments for which they had separated the right herbs and taught him how to use them. At the end of that day, they all were very exhausted and they just slept after having something to eat.
The next days were not different. People would come and go all day long. Inu could even leave for a small period the protection of the hut, but whenever a small child or baby would be there he would get inside of the hut and cry a lot. Kikyo noticed that. She was happy at the huge number of people coming in the shrine and asking for help but she was also worried about Inuyasha’s depression. She was decided to talk with him about all that. ‘It is not good to the little one be this sad.’ So in the evening before the nighttime meal, Kikyo asked Inuyasha if she could check on his belly.
“Why?” Inu asked.
“Because I was wondering and checking up on pregnancies with other women and I think I need to check on you, do you agree? Would you allow me to check on your body Inuyasha?
“Yes…”
Kikyou asked Kaede’s help. Both did the check on Inuyasha and realized that Inuyasha had suffered a lot, but they did not find any indication of a delivery. His belly and his hips were too small; a normal delivery would have changed that or killed him. Inuyasha might have a small body, but he was still a boy and as yet too young and with a lot of development needed.
“So…?” Inuyasha asked, after noticing the sisters where looking at each other and were even more serious than they normally were.
“Inu-otouto, you were never pregnant. Whoever told you that was lying. The baby you said you lost was not yours---”
“You are lying, I was pregnant, the baby was Sesshoumaru’s, Naraku did all the baby things with me, I was a lousy mother and the baby died. You were not there, how could you say something like that?” Inuyasha stood and using his regained speed ran away from the sisters and the hut.
“Kikyo-neesan, what will we do, it is too late to go after him and soon it will be too dark to the small one return safely.”
“Do not worry Kaede-imouto, Inuysha-otouto will be back. He just needs to think. Something is telling me that Naraku is still causing him a lot of damage, poor little one. Naraku has hurt you even deeper than he has me,” Kikyo said fixing the futon Inuyasha was had been on previously during their checking.
*
A little bit farther in the woods, Inuyasha was still running, crying and regretting exposing himself to those women.
“How could they say my baby was a lie? How could they say Sesshoumaru was a lie? Just now that I thought I could still live with them.” Inuyasha was again lost in the middle of the woods. Better physically but totally destroyed emotionally and mentally. He was completely lost in his thought and in his sorrow.
************************
End of chap 18 – Lost Again…
************************
Glossary
*Hai = yes, okay - in Japanese, "hai" doesn't always mean “yes”; it may mean, "I hear you".
*Goshujin-sama = means master as well as husband
*Ningen = human
*Youkai = demon
*Ookami = wolf
*Daiyoukai = great mythical creature/ great demon
*Youki = demon spirit energy / demonic energy (life energy) possessed by demons
*Hanyou = half youkai , half human (“half breed”)
* haori = long-sleeved blouse
* hakama = a type of traditional flowing Japanese "pants"
** Tabi = split-toed socks) made out of silk, cotton or leather could be worn with any of these shoes
*Shinto is the religion that Kikyou and Kaede practiced.
The Goshinboku, the Sacred "God" Tree, or Tree of Ages is a fictional tree in InuYasha
Disclaimer: I do not own any of Inuyasha characters. I am making no money off this story. This applies to all future chapters. Inuyasha characters & story © 2003 Rumiko Takahashi.
Summary: Will Inuyasha get over his new loss?
Special thanks to: All the readers
Very special thanks to: My Beta (in this chapter the special participation and work of Peri Winkle) and The Reviewers (J0kEr, Nikkie23534 and Jester08).
Here it is chapter 18. I do hope it is a little less sad and depressing. Please do not hurt Sesshoumaru-chan, he is trying his best. LOL.
I am working on chapters 19 and 20 and soon I hope I will be able to add/post them.
A.N.: “Mental-speech conversations”; ‘Thoughts’; “Dialogues”
Chap 18 – Lost again…
(Back with Inuyasha)
Inuyasha had collapsed and had been left alone in the room. Kanna had been there earlier to take away the baby’s “dead” body. Inuyasha did not know it but, in fact, everything was staging, they were all pretending to keep Inuyasha deeply deceived into all the depraved and wicked plot of Naraku.
The baby, Hakudoshi was faking his death, and as soon as Kanna was far enough from Inuyasha’s room, he opened his eyes.
“Kanna, let me be alone in a room this night, my body needs to be placed in a comfortable and calm place to mature completely.” Hakudoshi said to Kanna in a demanding tone. Kanna just continued to walk with him in her arms without demonstrating any change in her stoic face. When they get in front of Naraku´s room, Naraku himself was by the door.
“Here is the baby.” Kanna said emotionless.
“Ah. How was that Hakudoshi?” Naraku asked. Grabbing Kanna by one arm, Naraku aimed her at another room in the end of the corridor.
“It was simple; I just made the inu-bitch think of me as a dead body, now he is there, unconscious. I guess you will enjoy disposing of him yourself.” Hakudoshi filled in the picture while they were going to the room.
“Hummm… interesting… you will be here in this room for now. We will talk more tomorrow, Hakudoshi.” Naraku said pulling Kanna and Hakudoshi inside the room.
“As you wish, Naraku.” Hakudoshi replied and once again closed his eyes.
Kanna placed down the baby on the futon by the window and left without saying or thinking anything.
*
Naraku left Inuyasha alone for some days.
During this time, Inuyasha barely moved, as he was too weak and too miserable to have any reactions; even eating was somewhat difficult to the hanyou. But the worst thing for Inuyasha was close his eyes; whenever he slept he would have dreams, or better said, nightmares. He would have nightmares about the dead baby as Sesshoumaru finally came to rescue them. Sesshoumaru then would be very furious with the hanyou and blame him for the baby’s death and in the dream, Sesshoumaru always ended up saying he would not want Inuyasha anymore.
Inuyasha was so devastated that he even talked during this nightmares and he would wake up hyperventilating and crying.
*
Naraku knew about the nightmares and the younger hanyou’s fears and he planned to use that information to torture the smaller and younger hanyou when he finally decided to resume his visits.
*
“Hello Inuyasha, did you miss me?” Naraku said while he walked around the futon that Inuyasha was on. Naraku could not hide his lack of pleasure looking at the now pitiful appearance of Inuyasha. Naraku had been disgusted with Inuyasha’s actual condition, although he would come to ‘play’ and fuck the hanyou.
“Please, let me be with my baby.” Inuyasha pleaded.
“Your baby is dead, Inuyasha; you can not be with him.” Naraku replied, faking a gentle voice.
“So, I beg you Naraku-sama, kill me please...” Inuyasha whimpered.
“No, I can not do that. You see, you are supposed to give me other babies and also in the future you are going to be back with Sesshoumaru. Isn’t that what you wanted the most?” Naraku said while his tentacles grabbed Inuyasha’s legs, spreading them apart, putting in one tentacle and violently shoving in and out of Inuyasha till he come, totally ignoring Inuyasha’s supplications.
*
The scene would be repeated every other day. Inuyasha was not eating and was getting thinner and very weak physically and his youki would be in a level higher than the level he was when Hakudoshi was draining it. Whenever he would find the strength Inuyasha would plead to be killed, and that insistence was something that was getting on the nerves of Naraku.
**
Naraku finally decided to put an end to Inuyasha’s imprisonment.
“Good afternoon Inuyasha, I have good news for you!” Naraku said while coming inside the room followed by Kanna and a bitten Kagura. “I am totally disgusted with you, so I have decided that it is time to discard you.” With disdain, Naraku grabbed the broken hanyou by the hair. “I was expecting much more of you. Not this lamentable excuse of an inu-hanyou that you are.” Naraku let go of Inuyasha, who simply hit the floor by the futon.
Inuyasha did not move; he was just waiting the final deadly strike from Naraku. “But do not worry my dear, I will not kill you--”
When Inuyasha heard Naraku would not kill him, the smaller hanyou lifted his head, confused.
Naraku realizing the confusion, decided to be a little benevolent and explained his motives. Whispering in the hanyou’s ears, he said, “I will dispose of you far from here, so your beloved Sesshoumaru will be able to finally find you sooner or later.” Naraku chuckled and continued, “Actually, finding you was his only assignment, but I think he had failed it, don’t you think, Inuyasha?” Getting even closer to the hanyou’s head Naraku licked the already torn ear and once again whispered to him. “You were all this time in here depending on him to find you and what you did get? Did he really want to find you or not?” Again Naragu backed away from Inuyasha and ordered Kanna and Kagura to put a kimono on Inuyasha. While they were in this task Naraku added. “But… that is not of my business anymore, since I am going to set you free now.
“Please Naraku-sama, what do I have to do to be killed? I can’t be alive. I am not worthy of it. Please--” Inuyasha howling supplication to Naraku, but he did not get any reply from the evil older, and now powerful, hanyou. And then in total despair he tried to ask the same thing of Kanna. “Please Kanna, help me, kill me, or at least help me do it.” Once again, no reply came. As a result, grabbing Kagura’s clothes, he begged her, “Kagura… you despise me, so please, use your powers and fighting abilities and kill me.” Inuyasha continued pleading and bawling.
“Kukuku… Inuyasha, Inuyasha, there is no need to ask them, maybe, I said, maybe, you could have a little help from any starving youkai in the forest, ne? If you are lucky enough, some youkai will find you, kill you and eat you. Perhaps not in that order. Even though, try to think about that,” Naraku said, grabbing Inuyasha by the hair once again and dragging him out of the room and out of the castle.
Outside, Naraku, with an evil smirk, engulfed them both in a black cloud of miasma, and took off in a vertiginous flying velocity. After some hours Naraku dropped Inuyasha in a river running through a forest somewhere in the Eastern Lands.
It was a moonless evening, so Inuyasha was in his ningen form. The fall was nearly fatal. Inuyasha was horribly hurt, as he almost sank and drowned.
****
The river current dragged him to a bank where he remained till morning. Then he returned to his hanyou form and his instinct and his very weak youki guided him to a tree nearby. The tree had a huge cavity where he hid himself and slept.
Later that night, he was a little better and starving, so he had to leave his tree to try to find something to eat. It was then he found an old and broken knife and he used it in a foolish attempt to kill himself, but once again his instinct and youki saved him. So, even after bleeding a lot, the next morning when he woke up, he was once again inside his tree hole, although he was too weak to even lift his arms. That was when he saw two old ladies approaching. The ladies in fact were two old miko who had come across the puddle of his blood and the broken knife in the forest, so they were following its track. They were shocked to see the scared creature that was laid down inside the tree, and that it was still bleeding a little and was getting even scarier than it already was. The sisters were also afraid of the creature, but because they could feel the sorrow emerging from it, they decided to help it. Inuyasha tried to make them go away, but he was too weak, and after some ofudas, the miko sisters easily got him out of the tree and they took him to their house.
*
Two days later, due to his hanyou blood and the miko treatment, Inuyasha was much better physically, but emotionally he was still shattered.
At first he would cry all day long.
Both miko would try to talk with him but he would not talk at all. He was miserable because of his baby and his own lack of luck and inability to die. He was also afraid of Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha‘d rather die to face Sesshoumaru and tell him that their baby was dead due to his incapacity as a parent.
On the third day at the miko’s hut, the older miko sister, Kikyo, decided to be more forceful. She took out all the ofudas from the body of the creature and sat by its side and asked its name. Inuyasha raised his head and eyes and looked at her. His fear was still present and also his hatred. ‘Why did they have to take him out of his tree? Why are they treating his body-- why… why...?’ Inuyasha started to cry again, and he winced trying to get away from her.
Kikyo was already impatient and once again asked the creature its name, this time she got one of the creature’s hands in her hands, holding and trying to pass through it some assurance. “Please, tell me your name,” she said in a very calm and warm voice.
Inuyasha glanced at her with questioning eyes, but still said nothing.
“I am Kikyo, that--” she pointed to the other miko preparing something by the fire, “That is my younger sister, Kaede. We are Shinto miko, we live here in this small hut by this small Shinto shrine and we help the people from the villages nearby. Tell us a way to help you, young one.”
“Help me? No one can help me. I--I--” Inuyasha focused his eyes on the place for the first time since he arrived and he was hit by a fact. “You are miko and then-- and then you have the ability to defeat and kill youkai, don’t you?” Inuyasha said and without waiting for an answer he added “So-- I-- I am a youkai, you must kill me…,” his eyes full of tears.
“We would have killed you, if we sensed you represented or were danger or evil. But none of us have sensed that. You were bleeding and you were in awfully bad shape when we found you.” Kikyo said, holding a little bit tighter the creature’s hand.
“No! You must use your powers to kill me, any of you-- no, better-- better both of you, you must do that now. Please kill me,” Inuyasha pleaded on his knees.
“Once again, if you explain why such a young youkai, wants to die--”Kikyo was interrupted by Inuyasha.
“I am not a youkai; I am a hanyou-- a worthless and filthy hanyou. Nobody likes me, my mother is dead, my baby is dead, Sesshoumaru-sama will be mad at me and I am sure he will kill me when he discovers--” Inuyasha stopped talking to once again start crying.
“Poor young one… Hanyou or youkai, it does not matter to us right now. Tell us young one, what has happened to your mother and your father? Don’t you have anyone else in your family? You said something about a baby, as far as I know, youkai or hanyou, you need a mate to have one. Is the mother of your baby this Sesshoumaru?”
“NO! Sesshoumaru-sama is my baby’s father!” Inuyasha screamed and once again winced, he tried to be as far away as he could from that woman but she continued to hold his hand.
“Please, let me go, I need to leave, I can‘t stay here. If you are not going to kill me I must find a way or someone who will.” Inuyasha tried to stand up, but Kikyo was faster and put on his legs some ofudas, so he could not move, and then she placed one more on his back. Inuyasha was unable to leave the bed.
“WHY?” he asked.
Kikyo smiled and said. “I want you to tell me and in detail, all about you, your life and your past. And then, if I feel you are dangerous, I promise, I will kill you.”
“You do? Really?” Inuyasha’s mood changed.
“It’s a promise, now if I think you are not, you are going to stay here with us. Am I clear?”
“Yes Kikyo-miko-sama” Inuyasha answered, expecting that after telling all his life she would kill him.
“Just call us Kikyo and Kaede.” Kikyo said with serenity. Kaede, who was closer them smiled too and handed some herbal tea to the hanyou.
Inuyasha was confused, he could not leave the bed, but he could take and drink up the tea. ‘Something here is strange.’ Both sisters could sense the confusion and fear emanating from the boy. Kikyo, chuckling, informed the hanyou of the reason. “Do not worry young one, the ofuda is only to prevent you from running away. If you do not have the intention, you are able to move. Inuyasha just nodded his head in understanding and finished drinking his tea. The sisters advised him to sleep. Kikyo told him that he could tell them his past life the next day. Inuyasha, who was really tired, obediently did as he was told.
*
When Inuyasha woke up the following day, he was feeling better. The sisters had prepared a bath to him and they gave him some clothes. As both sisters were Shinto miko, the only garment they had were Shinto miko clothes– white long-sleeved haori and red hakama.
After the breakfast and some chores, the three sat by the Goshinboku, the “Sacred God Tree” and Inuyasha started to tell them everything about his life, since his first memories, from the place he used to live with his mother until the moment they had found him inside that old tree by the river.
The sisters had many questions, but neither of them interrupted the boy while he was telling them his past, because they realized that he was suffering having to expose himself that much.
In fact, to Inuyasha, telling all about his life was taking a lot of his energy. He was not one to talk to others about simple things and mainly his own life. He had learnt the worst way that humans were not trustworthy. They could be worst than youkai at times, but he was not that worried now, because he believed that he would die by their hands when he finished. But when Inuyasha finished, Kaede and Kikyo had a lot of questions. Kaede was the first to ask. “Inuyasha, what about your father? Even a lesser youkai would not allow their infant so young and as small as yourself alone in the world. What happened with your father after your mother passed away? I understand he is dead now.”
“My mother told me father was a powerful Inu-youkai, and he died during a battle just before I was born. He just could reach her in time to say her, my odd name.”
“Why did Sesshoumaru, your brother, not help you?”
“Sesshoumaru-sama was too busy with all his duties and he was raised inside the youkai society with their rules and all, he was royalty; he could never do anything for the hanyou his father had with a ningen. Even now, I am just his concubine. We could not have a complete and official mating ritual, just because I am a hanyou.
“So you have nobody to teach you how to use your youkai powers?” Kikyo asked.
“No. I have learned to use my claws, but they were not efficient during my nights as a ningen and also they were not helping during all the time I spent at Kiramau’s place.”
“Why have you not fought against all this things? Even as a human I would rather die to have to endure all that,” Kaede asked.
“He tried, Kaede-imouto, but they were using spells on him. To the youkai, our little Inuyasha was just a small boy, pretty enough to be a good source of treasures in some more years, the same way it happens to some girls and pretty boys from the villages. Youkai or Ningen, when they have bad personalities, they are all the same,” Kikyou said with pain in her voice.
“Gomen neesan.” Kaede said and looked back at Inuyasha to smile.
“It is not your fault, my dear Kaede, it is a sad fact. They even had left this boy to starve, so he would beg for food and would do whatever they wanted, and when he was totally shaped, it was too late. As you can see he is a boy, if he was human he would be in his twenties. He would never be this short or thin, if he had not suffered a lot. It is too late to change his lack of properly physical development.” Kikyo added.
“Oh.” Kaede looked from Kikyou to Inuyasha, amazed.
“So, do not waste your time preparing a lot of food, intending him to get taller or bigger.” Kikyo said giggling.
“Neesan!” Kaede replied, annoyed.
“Now let us all get inside. It is late and soon will be dark,” Kikyo said, standing up and aiming for the hut. Kaede was right behind her
“Oi! Kikyo-sama and Kaede-sama, aren’t you going to kill me now?” Inuyasha said, standing up with some difficulty.
“Not today, Inu-otouto, you do have more questions to answer. Now let us get something to eat and prepare to sleep. Tomorrow we will talk more. Tomorrow…” Kikyo said, without looking back and without stopping walking.
Due to Kikyo and Kaedes’ tremendous care Inuyasha was getting better day by day. Also the pure air, without that evil miasma from Naraku’s castle, was helping a lot.
Kikyo and Kaede lived around and near many small villages, so people from all the villages surrounding the area would come and visit them, asking for healing, remedies, prays, care and etc. Inuyasha was aware of it early the next day. The trio did not have any free time to talk as they had the previous day. Kikyo and Kaede worked mostly outside or in the shrine, while Inuyasha after exerting a lot of willpower to not runaway and ride from the strangers, was all daylong brewing tea as the sisters had taught him and ointments for which they had separated the right herbs and taught him how to use them. At the end of that day, they all were very exhausted and they just slept after having something to eat.
The next days were not different. People would come and go all day long. Inu could even leave for a small period the protection of the hut, but whenever a small child or baby would be there he would get inside of the hut and cry a lot. Kikyo noticed that. She was happy at the huge number of people coming in the shrine and asking for help but she was also worried about Inuyasha’s depression. She was decided to talk with him about all that. ‘It is not good to the little one be this sad.’ So in the evening before the nighttime meal, Kikyo asked Inuyasha if she could check on his belly.
“Why?” Inu asked.
“Because I was wondering and checking up on pregnancies with other women and I think I need to check on you, do you agree? Would you allow me to check on your body Inuyasha?
“Yes…”
Kikyou asked Kaede’s help. Both did the check on Inuyasha and realized that Inuyasha had suffered a lot, but they did not find any indication of a delivery. His belly and his hips were too small; a normal delivery would have changed that or killed him. Inuyasha might have a small body, but he was still a boy and as yet too young and with a lot of development needed.
“So…?” Inuyasha asked, after noticing the sisters where looking at each other and were even more serious than they normally were.
“Inu-otouto, you were never pregnant. Whoever told you that was lying. The baby you said you lost was not yours---”
“You are lying, I was pregnant, the baby was Sesshoumaru’s, Naraku did all the baby things with me, I was a lousy mother and the baby died. You were not there, how could you say something like that?” Inuyasha stood and using his regained speed ran away from the sisters and the hut.
“Kikyo-neesan, what will we do, it is too late to go after him and soon it will be too dark to the small one return safely.”
“Do not worry Kaede-imouto, Inuysha-otouto will be back. He just needs to think. Something is telling me that Naraku is still causing him a lot of damage, poor little one. Naraku has hurt you even deeper than he has me,” Kikyo said fixing the futon Inuyasha was had been on previously during their checking.
*
A little bit farther in the woods, Inuyasha was still running, crying and regretting exposing himself to those women.
“How could they say my baby was a lie? How could they say Sesshoumaru was a lie? Just now that I thought I could still live with them.” Inuyasha was again lost in the middle of the woods. Better physically but totally destroyed emotionally and mentally. He was completely lost in his thought and in his sorrow.
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End of chap 18 – Lost Again…
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Glossary
*Hai = yes, okay - in Japanese, "hai" doesn't always mean “yes”; it may mean, "I hear you".
*Goshujin-sama = means master as well as husband
*Ningen = human
*Youkai = demon
*Ookami = wolf
*Daiyoukai = great mythical creature/ great demon
*Youki = demon spirit energy / demonic energy (life energy) possessed by demons
*Hanyou = half youkai , half human (“half breed”)
* haori = long-sleeved blouse
* hakama = a type of traditional flowing Japanese "pants"
** Tabi = split-toed socks) made out of silk, cotton or leather could be worn with any of these shoes
*Shinto is the religion that Kikyou and Kaede practiced.
The Goshinboku, the Sacred "God" Tree, or Tree of Ages is a fictional tree in InuYasha