InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sleep Paralysis ❯ The Lie In Which I Live-Part One ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: White Luna 
"Kagome's feet absently shuffled underneath the dining room table. It was a small noise, like any other. Amongst the clacking of utensils on the dinnerware, labored breathing, and the sounds of glasses being set on the wooden table, it was unremarkable. But for Kagome, it rang loudly in her restlessness."
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Supernatural / Psychological / Hentai | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.20.2006 | Updated On: 03.08.2012 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 3.4K | Status: Completed
"Kagome's feet absently shuffled underneath the dining room table. It was a small noise, like any other. Amongst the clacking of utensils on the dinnerware, labored breathing, and the sounds of glasses being set on the wooden table, it was unremarkable. But for Kagome, it rang loudly in her restlessness."
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Supernatural / Psychological / Hentai | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.20.2006 | Updated On: 03.08.2012 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 3.4K | Status: Completed
A/n: Once again going through this story and cleaning it up. I love it so much, but it needs a lot of work :/...
Original post: Feb. 20, 2006
Kagome's feet absently shuffled underneath the dining room table. It was a small noise, like any other. Amongst the clacking of utensils on the dinnerware, labored breathing, and the sounds of glasses being set on the wooden table, it was unremarkable. But for Kagome, it rang loudly in her restlessness.
Across from her sat her mother, who was currently staring at her plate intently. As was her Ojii-san, which sat to her left, and her otouto, which sat to her right.
After her father had "left", their family had begun to drift apart.
And there was no stopping the transition. Though they had never been closer, or more reliable on one another… everyone seemed more closed off. Everyone talked less. Her daily banter with her brother had ceased. The heartfelt stories her Ojii-san shared, painting the colorful history of their family in words and epic tales had stopped.
Arguments with her mother were ever present, but the heated emotions everyone felt was bottled up inside.
The subtle truth that underlay her family was that there was none. It had shattered to pieces, laying broken and proven only by the pictures and memories left behind in the aftermath.
All that was left was only the people who desperately searched for love, and that is why they clung on to each other so.
“Kagome?”
She lifted her head to her mother, giving her a passive glance to show her mother had her full attention, and turned her face back down to her plate. There was scattered remnants of food which had been at the mercy of her fork for the past fifteen minutes, yet had been untouched.
“How was your day?”
A slight nod was given. “…fine.”
“And Souta, how about you?”
A small shrug. “Nothing new.”
Her mother nodded, past the point of trying. Prying was futile… if her children wanted to tell her something, they would. Otherwise, only silence was their family's code. No one told each other anything.
Kagome's mother slightly lifted her head, and pointed down at Kagome's plate. “Are you going to eat that?”
“…No.”
Momentary silence reigned, and after that a sigh was given. Her mother gave the well expected, daily dismissal, “If you're going to just sit there quietly and do nothing, then you can leave.”
Kagome gave no indication that she was distressed… or even that she cared. The only indication that she had reacted was the sound of the chair squeaking against the tile floor as she pushed out from the table… and the sounds of her retreating loafers upon the floor like a clicking of heels in a hallway.
Kagome knew her mother didn't want to see her.
She knew her mother partially blamed her for the way things were.
...Kagome couldn't say it was untrue. It really was her fault.
That's why she didn't hate her mother for dismissing her every night so casually.
Though Kagome didn't want to, she went to `her room'. The place that was supposed to be a sanctuary.
Kagome stripped out of her school uniform, trying her best to ignore her body, and slipped into cotton pajamas. She fell on to the bed, and sighed heavily. Curling up against a pillow, she felt herself assume the familiar fetal position. Closing herself up physically in such a way brought her a measure of comfort, as if nothing could surprise her from that angle. Weariness blared against the confines of her skull like a siren, banging against it and demanding reprieve in the form of a throbbing migraine.
Rest.
She didn't want to but...
She never even recalled falling asleep.
“Nee-chan̷ 0;?” Kagome's eyes flew open and she turned on to her side, staring at her brother with wide and frightened eyes.
“Nee-chan… I'm sorry, it's just me… Souta…” He named himself for he did not find recognition in his sister's face until he spoke his own name. As he did, she visibly relaxed and her breathing again returned to normal.
With bleary vision, Kagome turned her head to her clock. 2:45.
Damnit…
Sitting up, rubbing her face of the exhaustion she knew resided there, Kagome looked down at her younger brother's expectant features, “What do you want?”
“Nee-chan… I had a bad dream… can I sleep with you tonight?”
Kagome somewhat glared at him through the darkness of the room. Something itched the back of her brain, screaming at her to pay more attention...
“Why didn't you ask momma?”
She heard him shuffle around a bit, as if from embarrassment, and saw him lift his head to look at her.
“She'd be mad at me.”
Kagome gave him a hard stare…
He has no eyes.
“All right, Souta.”
It's just a trick of the light, it's just the shadows of the room, it's just my imagination....
She laid back down, closing her eyes again. She felt the bed sink in next to her, and told herself that was just her little brother. It was only Souta.
He'd never hurt me…
As she felt him get settled, she allowed her tense muscles to relax. He meant nothing.
He meant her no harm.
It's only Souta…
And then a pair of two strong arms suddenly wrapped tightly around her torso, pinning her arms to her sides. They squeezed as if they would break her ribs… she couldn't breathe…
I-I can't breathe...
Claws dug in to her skin, and Kagome couldn't help but cry out as she felt one rib crack under the pressure.
“Nee-chan! Nee-chan! Wake up! It's only a bad dream! Nee-chan!” Kagome flailed, crying harshly. Souta was attempting to grab at her wrists, to prevent her from harming him or herself in the process admist her hysterical screaming. And that was how her mother found her when she flicked on the lights. “Kagome! Kagome, what's wrong? Was it another bad dream?” Her mother pushed her little brother away from her, the secure warmth of her otouto leaving her skin and she gulped huge breaths of air to avoid hyperventilating. Her mother sat on the edge of the bed, brushing locks of hair away from her sweaty face as Kagome shied from her touch.
Those fingers flinched at the movement, but a fake smile stayed plastered to her mother's lips.
"Just a nightmare, ne, Kagome-chan?"
The words cut through her silently, rending and shredding her heart to pieces once again.
Kagome nodded wordlessly, allowing the tears to escape her eyes as she shut them tightly and feebly, resting her face against her hands that were clenched tightly together…
She couldn't help it.
No matter how many times she promised herself she wouldn't let them see her cry, she did…
Proving just how weak she was.
“Kagome… it's okay… it isn't real…” Her mother sat down in front of her then, attempting to console her distraught daughter. That still fake smile, false comfort, mocking her in the dim light of her 'room'.
Then… why does it hurt so bad…?
After a while, her mother was contented she was "okay". Kagome knew, really, her mother was just too tired to deal with her crap. And she took Souta, a comfort, and sent him away as if he were only a nuisance to her.
But Kagome allowed it. Kagome allowed her mother to believe these things didn't effect her as bad as she thought.
And after she was sure her mother was safely on the other side of the house, Kagome made a mad dash for the bathroom.
She puked nothing but bile, considering she ate nothing.
And she ate nothing for exactly this reason…
She threw up less if there was nothing there to vomit up.
As she slowly sat up, she noticed the sharp pain in her ribs. The pain in her arms. White hot needles spreading across the surface of her skin, pricking and pricking and poking and hurting...
And slowly, agonizingly, Kagome lifted up her shirt. There was a giant bruise on her ribs, two of them making their way across them in fact… and ten suspiciously crescent shaped marks on her biceps.
She gave her reflection a humorless smirk, empty tears gliding down the hallows of her thin cheeks...
“Not real… huh?”
Kagome decided it would be best not to sleep the rest of the night.
Converting /tmp/phpLcvKHt to /dev/stdout
Original post: Feb. 20, 2006
Chapter IV: The Lie in Which I Live-Part One
Kagome's feet absently shuffled underneath the dining room table. It was a small noise, like any other. Amongst the clacking of utensils on the dinnerware, labored breathing, and the sounds of glasses being set on the wooden table, it was unremarkable. But for Kagome, it rang loudly in her restlessness.
Across from her sat her mother, who was currently staring at her plate intently. As was her Ojii-san, which sat to her left, and her otouto, which sat to her right.
After her father had "left", their family had begun to drift apart.
And there was no stopping the transition. Though they had never been closer, or more reliable on one another… everyone seemed more closed off. Everyone talked less. Her daily banter with her brother had ceased. The heartfelt stories her Ojii-san shared, painting the colorful history of their family in words and epic tales had stopped.
Arguments with her mother were ever present, but the heated emotions everyone felt was bottled up inside.
The subtle truth that underlay her family was that there was none. It had shattered to pieces, laying broken and proven only by the pictures and memories left behind in the aftermath.
All that was left was only the people who desperately searched for love, and that is why they clung on to each other so.
“Kagome?”
She lifted her head to her mother, giving her a passive glance to show her mother had her full attention, and turned her face back down to her plate. There was scattered remnants of food which had been at the mercy of her fork for the past fifteen minutes, yet had been untouched.
“How was your day?”
A slight nod was given. “…fine.”
“And Souta, how about you?”
A small shrug. “Nothing new.”
Her mother nodded, past the point of trying. Prying was futile… if her children wanted to tell her something, they would. Otherwise, only silence was their family's code. No one told each other anything.
Kagome's mother slightly lifted her head, and pointed down at Kagome's plate. “Are you going to eat that?”
“…No.”
Momentary silence reigned, and after that a sigh was given. Her mother gave the well expected, daily dismissal, “If you're going to just sit there quietly and do nothing, then you can leave.”
Kagome gave no indication that she was distressed… or even that she cared. The only indication that she had reacted was the sound of the chair squeaking against the tile floor as she pushed out from the table… and the sounds of her retreating loafers upon the floor like a clicking of heels in a hallway.
Kagome knew her mother didn't want to see her.
She knew her mother partially blamed her for the way things were.
...Kagome couldn't say it was untrue. It really was her fault.
That's why she didn't hate her mother for dismissing her every night so casually.
Though Kagome didn't want to, she went to `her room'. The place that was supposed to be a sanctuary.
Kagome stripped out of her school uniform, trying her best to ignore her body, and slipped into cotton pajamas. She fell on to the bed, and sighed heavily. Curling up against a pillow, she felt herself assume the familiar fetal position. Closing herself up physically in such a way brought her a measure of comfort, as if nothing could surprise her from that angle. Weariness blared against the confines of her skull like a siren, banging against it and demanding reprieve in the form of a throbbing migraine.
Rest.
She didn't want to but...
She never even recalled falling asleep.
~~~*~~~
“Nee-chan̷ 0;?” Kagome's eyes flew open and she turned on to her side, staring at her brother with wide and frightened eyes.
“Nee-chan… I'm sorry, it's just me… Souta…” He named himself for he did not find recognition in his sister's face until he spoke his own name. As he did, she visibly relaxed and her breathing again returned to normal.
With bleary vision, Kagome turned her head to her clock. 2:45.
Damnit…
Sitting up, rubbing her face of the exhaustion she knew resided there, Kagome looked down at her younger brother's expectant features, “What do you want?”
“Nee-chan… I had a bad dream… can I sleep with you tonight?”
Kagome somewhat glared at him through the darkness of the room. Something itched the back of her brain, screaming at her to pay more attention...
“Why didn't you ask momma?”
She heard him shuffle around a bit, as if from embarrassment, and saw him lift his head to look at her.
“She'd be mad at me.”
Kagome gave him a hard stare…
He has no eyes.
“All right, Souta.”
It's just a trick of the light, it's just the shadows of the room, it's just my imagination....
She laid back down, closing her eyes again. She felt the bed sink in next to her, and told herself that was just her little brother. It was only Souta.
He'd never hurt me…
As she felt him get settled, she allowed her tense muscles to relax. He meant nothing.
He meant her no harm.
It's only Souta…
And then a pair of two strong arms suddenly wrapped tightly around her torso, pinning her arms to her sides. They squeezed as if they would break her ribs… she couldn't breathe…
I-I can't breathe...
Claws dug in to her skin, and Kagome couldn't help but cry out as she felt one rib crack under the pressure.
~~~*~~~
“Nee-chan! Nee-chan! Wake up! It's only a bad dream! Nee-chan!” Kagome flailed, crying harshly. Souta was attempting to grab at her wrists, to prevent her from harming him or herself in the process admist her hysterical screaming. And that was how her mother found her when she flicked on the lights. “Kagome! Kagome, what's wrong? Was it another bad dream?” Her mother pushed her little brother away from her, the secure warmth of her otouto leaving her skin and she gulped huge breaths of air to avoid hyperventilating. Her mother sat on the edge of the bed, brushing locks of hair away from her sweaty face as Kagome shied from her touch.
Those fingers flinched at the movement, but a fake smile stayed plastered to her mother's lips.
"Just a nightmare, ne, Kagome-chan?"
The words cut through her silently, rending and shredding her heart to pieces once again.
Kagome nodded wordlessly, allowing the tears to escape her eyes as she shut them tightly and feebly, resting her face against her hands that were clenched tightly together…
She couldn't help it.
No matter how many times she promised herself she wouldn't let them see her cry, she did…
Proving just how weak she was.
“Kagome… it's okay… it isn't real…” Her mother sat down in front of her then, attempting to console her distraught daughter. That still fake smile, false comfort, mocking her in the dim light of her 'room'.
Then… why does it hurt so bad…?
After a while, her mother was contented she was "okay". Kagome knew, really, her mother was just too tired to deal with her crap. And she took Souta, a comfort, and sent him away as if he were only a nuisance to her.
But Kagome allowed it. Kagome allowed her mother to believe these things didn't effect her as bad as she thought.
And after she was sure her mother was safely on the other side of the house, Kagome made a mad dash for the bathroom.
She puked nothing but bile, considering she ate nothing.
And she ate nothing for exactly this reason…
She threw up less if there was nothing there to vomit up.
As she slowly sat up, she noticed the sharp pain in her ribs. The pain in her arms. White hot needles spreading across the surface of her skin, pricking and pricking and poking and hurting...
And slowly, agonizingly, Kagome lifted up her shirt. There was a giant bruise on her ribs, two of them making their way across them in fact… and ten suspiciously crescent shaped marks on her biceps.
She gave her reflection a humorless smirk, empty tears gliding down the hallows of her thin cheeks...
“Not real… huh?”
Kagome decided it would be best not to sleep the rest of the night.
Converting /tmp/phpLcvKHt to /dev/stdout