InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sleep Paralysis ❯ Promises and Broken Dreams ( Chapter 36 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/n: Yay for more chapters, they never stop coming do they? :>? And zomg, will someone please give me some AWESOME fics to read? You know the drill- lemons are a must. *holds up one finger* That's the only criteria. I don't care if it's angst, comedy, supernatural or whatnot. It could be another high school plot that's been torn to bits and I don't care, as long as it's damn good. *winks* I trust y'alls taste. Thankies!

Lol, and I decided on one of my newest favorite chapters of Inuyasha. Chapter 392- "Peaceful Table". *cracks up* Ohmigoddess, it's so funny!! -^^- And come, here's a thought... Inuyasha and Kag are offically together later in the series, though Kagome puts up with Inu's "two timing" by going off to see Kikyou. One, she never said he wasn't allowed, right? And later in the series, he always tells her when he does. He's honest, and doesn't lie about it... From what I saw, he wasn't even overly affectionate with her. But Kagome, on the other hand, allows Kouga to hold her hands, call her his woman, even HUG her... but Inuyasha gets punished when he fights with Kouga when Kouga touches her. Even though he has every right to be angry, Kagome is offically his at that point. He's her boyfriend. So... hell, doesn't that seem like double standards? >>...<<...? Anybody with me on this??

Inuyashaloverr: *smirks* Thanks! And poor Sesshy, you have a good point. *scratches head* I think he needs a little love too, you're right, but I'm so absorbed with developing Kagome and Inuyasha's relationship, and I feel I'm neglecting Miroku and Sango a smig bit too. *smiles sheepishly* And I have a hard time with OC for some reason, because I like to develop things between existing characters. Sesshy might just get left behind. But after this, I think I'll make it up to him and make him a little fic to make up for it. <3... maybe...

TriNeyce: May I say I have been PWNed? *claps* Congratulations on such a keen observation. I know it seemed like Miroku high tailed it out of there, in disbelief, and that his and Miroku's friendship was fragile. In a way, I should assume after Kagome came into the story, it had become so. I think his reaction was suitable for a couple reasons. 1) Ever since Kagome came back into the picture, Inuyasha has been obsessed with her and only her, and they became isolated from their friends until recently. That was for obvious reasons, for all the things that had been happening. They may have hung out with them, and Miroku knows Inuyasha very well, but I'd assume their bond was strained. It's classic, when a guy chooses a girl over friends the friends might feel a little left behind. Though Sango and Miroku rock, and Miroku stayed by his side loyally through it, I would assume there would be some minor damage to their relationship at the very least. 2) I would be scared shitless myself at the things Inuyasha said. Miroku was compelled to believe him, simply because they were friends, but it's a hard thing to believe. Evil demons that live in your dreams and can hurt you for real, and you can't do anything about it? I would be spooked myself if someone I really trusted told me that. He high tailed it cause he needed time to himself, to think, and when it comes to it, love before all else is my thing. Of course it was about Sango. He adores her. Hope that clears the air a little bit, but thank you for the wonderful point. I will DEFINATELY have to develop the friendship aspects with the other two. They are intergal to the plot. *sigh* I play favorites. Forgive my silliness. And the other thing- thank you for your comments. I really appreciate such kind words... they mean a lot to me. -^^-. I'm not sure I deserve such words, but they make me feel all happy. *flush* So thank you! *hands you a cookie*

LouLou4729: Ooo, I'll happily spoil everyone if they lavish me with reviews! I've become a glutton, I can't get enough -^^-. But I won't ask for them, I'll just be pleasantly surprised when I get them! e.e... And Sesshy is hot...?

Lindajrjt: That question was something I hadn't considered... Geeze, all my smart reviewers! Catching all these little details I never thought of! But fear not, I already have the answer. You'll just have to see later e.e...

Zetsuii: You're right. I've downright tortured poor Kagome in this fic... I think she gets more abuse than any other character ^^;;... You made me feel sorry for a fictional character o.o;.

Sorry about my extra long rambling about... nothing in particular, I see o_o... Whoo... e.e... I sorry.

Your Talkative Author,


Luna-



Kagome was transported to those days in her bed, in that lonely pink room at her mother's house, painted fake with love and happiness with pictures and memories from middle school that were no longer real.

The days she was paralyzed, for real, in fear and in movement... as her body was torn over and over again, only one thing ever present in her life...

Pain, pain, pain...

She was alone.

She was afraid.

Things that were invisible at first developed real hands... developed real bodies, with real faces and crimson eyes and deathly white flesh that was cold and clammy as it claimed her body and destroyed her soul until it was unrecognizable from the once passionate girl.

The one that laughed loud, and loved deeply, and felt truly.

Broken off piece by piece until she was a shell...

Her excecutioner under one name only...

...Naraku...

She distantly felt a warm hand make contact with her shoulder, squeezing gently and a voice she was so in love with call for her softly, "Kagome...?"

But all she could see was him...

Standing there.

Hovering over her, hurting her endlessly.

In the shower.

On the bed.

At school.

And no one believed her.

No one cared.

And she was screaming desperately for someone to save her when she couldn't save herself.

A slight shake still couldn't break the opressing reality, the memories she so desperately forced away, locking them up tightly to where they couldn't escape.

She dared believe she could be better.

She dared believe she could possibly heal...

She dared believe there might be some sembelance of hope in her fragile world that was shaking and ready to break apart at the mere mention of his name.

How was she, who was so very weak...

...supposed to defeat him...?

He always captured her, held her prisoner, forced her against her will and found a way of destruction in her entirety. He broke her down as a human being until she was nothing... nothing but a mere morsel, a worm, a parasite... craving and keening on anything to make her feel...

She felt herself begin to hyperventilate, her pupils dilating in uncontained terror.

She had thought she had these emotions under control...?

...since when was she afraid again...?

She was pulled into a warm body, a solid comfort that offered her solace and redemption for her sins.

Leaning into it, she grabbed onto it, anything to put these rampant thoughts at bay. To stop the thundering stampede that made her blood pulse and her heart pound inside her head until she couldn't hear.

"Calm down, Kagome... I'm right here, love..."

The voice soothed her... settled her frayed nerves and brought her soul back into the world...

"...are you okay...?" hands cupped her face and brought her to look at eyes she wasn't really seeing.

Swallowing thickly, as if trying to down desert sand, she answered in a raspy voice she hardly recognized as her own.

"...yeah..."

But she couldn't stop seeing that face that was grinning at her so maliciously.




"Inuyasha! What happened they other day?" Miroku called to his friend, as Sango was following him hot on his heels. She immediately sought out Kagome, hugging her tightly as Miroku looked at the couple in concern.

Inuyasha shifted on his feet, looking rather uncomfortable. "Sess knows everything."

Miroku's face paled and he ran a hand through his short locks.

"Damn man, so much shit is going on..."

Sango pulled away from Kagome, who hardly seemed to pay attention to the affections, and she gave the boys a stern look. "This is more than serious. What's going on? What are we missing?"

The two seemed puzzled over her question, and she simply gestured quietly at Kagome, who still ignored her presence.

She mouthed three words to explain herself.

'What the fuck?'

Kagome just noted them absently, though she seemed too drawn into her own world to really care.

Inuyasha seemed to avert his eyes guiltily, the muscles in his face tightening visibly as he clenched his jaw.

"...it's my fault... but this isn't the place to talk about it... We have to get to class."

Sango and Miroku nodded in agreement as Sango entwined her arm with Kagome's.

"I'll watch over her. Since the change over in classes, I have a couple with her. Otherwise, most of them are close to her all day."

There was a look of passive envy on Inuyasha's face, as he hunched his shoulders and muttered urgently to her.

"...keep her away from Onigumo, no matter what. We'll meet up at lunch and I'll explain at least a little to you then."

Sango nodded in affirmation and whispered back to him, "Where do we meet? Not the usual place."

Inuyasha nodded, "By the bleachers in the gym. No body goes there during lunch, too many people are spooked by it."

Nodding again, Sango turned to leave with Kagome just before Inuyasha tugged her away from her friend, and gave a small kiss to Kagome.

Kagome lifted her hands up, responding immediately and ran her fingers through his long hair. Her mouth moved slowly, quietly when Inuyasha released her... and whatever she had said left him looking all too serious.

Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, Inuyasha turned around and walked away from the two girls, accompanied by Miroku as the class bell rang for first period.

Sango looked down at Kagome, somewhat confused, as she asked of her quietly, though she hadn't really expected an answer...

"...what did you say to Inuyasha to make him look so very serious?"

A pair of detatched eyes, cold as sapphire and shining as brightly answered her back.

"...Remember your promise to me."

Though Sango didn't understand, she knew better than to ask. It seemed far too personal to question...

Though the topic wasn't left alone on Kagome's end.

"Promise me too, Sango."

Smiling at her dear friend softly, genuinely touched that even though Kagome was in such a mood as this, she still took time to recognize her presence.

"...Promise what, Kagome-chan?"

The sapphire's lightened incredibly, clearing as if after a storm in the night to reveal the twilight of the sky. She gasped softly at the transformation, the emotion that rose to the surface, as tiny tears scored their way down Kagome's cheeks.

"Promise me you won't leave."

Drawing the first friend Sango had ever had when she moved to Japan into her arms, she held her as tenderly as she felt Kagome was precious to her.

"I promise, Kagome."



Inuyasha tried to desperately ignore his friend as he was once again jabbed viciously in the side by a mechanical pencil.

"Damnit, Inuyasha, tell me. What the hell happened to Kagome?" Miroku hissed low under his breath, trying his best not to get noticed by their nazi of a Sensei.

Growling low and deeply in his throat, a newly developed habit that had a range of meanings, he kept his eyes transfixed on the Sensei who drabbled on about Edo Jidai history as he answered back, "And I told you, you can wait three fucking hours for lunch so we can all talk about it."

Noting the protest that was on the edge of Miroku's voice, he cut him off abruptly, "Together, Miroku."

Though his friend sat back silently, he knew he hadn't resigned himself. Miroku was as stubborn as he was.

And of course, he was right.

He had only counted eight minutes and 23 seconds of peace before he was attacked yet again by the cursed object of his dire annoyance.

"These are the girls we are talking about, Inuyasha. Shouldn't we talk about it first, so we can figure out what to do... like always?"

Inuyasha finally caved into the urge. He turned to look at his friend with blazing eyes that were furious, demanding the subject be dropped.

"There is nothing we can do about this one, so shut the fuck up already!"

The movement didn't go unnoticed.

"Taisho Inuyasha-san... Houshi Miroku-san... is there something you would like to say to the class?"

The boys, one seething and one embarrassed, both sank into their seats as if to try and be unnoticed.

"No, Sensei..." Inuyasha called back in a terse tone.

This earned him a clipped reply from his teacher, "Then unless you two wish to be separated, I suggest you keep all conversation until after class."

Nodding, Inuyasha felt the energy drained from him... he had no patience... he had no idea what to do...

And Miroku seemed blanched now...

He understood then.

There was, really, nothing either of them could do to fix it.

...not this time.





"...that's... what Sesshomaru said?" Sango inquired carefully, as if she hoped Inuyasha might take back what he said.

But Inuyasha nodded, one arm hung loosely around Kagome's shoulders... who up until this point, had said nothing.

Miroku was tense, pacing in front of the three who sat on the bleachers. His footsteps echoed softly in the dark gym. It was dimly lit by light that streamed through double doors, and they sat toward the back, hoping to go unnoticed by passerbys.

"You weren't lying in class, Yash..." he admitted as if in afterthought.

Inuyasha snorted.

"Of course! And don't call me Yash. What, were you drinking again?"

Miroku sent him a nasty glare.

"Guys, chill," was the unenthusiastic command Sango issued, but was followed nonetheless.

Silence followed afterward, the atmosphere tense between the group. No one seemed to have anything to say, except...

A small voice piped up, uncharacteristic as Kagome barely whispered, "This is all my fault... I'm sorry..."

Inuyasha looked at her incredulously, "It's certainly not your fault. If anyone is to blame, it's me for making such a fucking selfish wish."

Kagome winced at the bitterness in his voice.

She knew he was feeling guilty.

She responded in kind, quiet patience exuding from her, "...I would have made the same wish, Inuyasha. You can't blame yourself."

Inuyasha looked away from her, but pulled her closer nonetheless.

"...keh..."

Miroku walked over to his best friend, grabbing his ear in a disciplinary manner and pulling on it, "Stop being such a bastard, Yash. It's not your fault."

Inuyasha took a swing at Miroku, who dodged it with ease as he spat out, "Stop calling me Yash, for chrissakes!"

Sango stood and made her way between the two authoritatively and yelled, "ENOUGH!"

Again, all fell quiet.

Turning to Inuyasha, Sango sighed gently and spoke sincerely, "Look. I think pretty much what Miroku means is that regardless, any of us would have made the same wish. And that wish would have had the same outcome, despite all this bullshit."

Inuyasha regarded her, but said nothing.

Kagome spoke up instead.

"It is my fault. I let him take the Shikon no Tama, I let him hurt me... I wasn't a good enough Guardian in the past... I..."

Sango interrupted her impatiently, "Just like it's not his fault, it's not yours. If we play the blame game, we'll get nowhere. From my understanding, you had no idea what the fuck the Shikon no Tama was until recently. How were you to know? And he's a damn scary guy, and a powerful one too. You couldn't help it."

Despite how true the words were, Kagome still looked all the more miserable. Inuyasha kissed her temple, trying to comfort her, but it didn't seem to have much effect. She simply laid her head against his shoulder, and gave a suffered heave, as if it were an effort to breathe.

Miroku rubbed his temple with one hand as he looked at his wrist to check the time.

"... it's late. We have to go back to class. Maybe we can meet up after school..." he offered, knowing they had not gotten anywhere beyond an explanation of circumstances.

No one had any idea what to do, or more importantly than that...

...how to protect Kagome...

Everyone was scared shitless, it was apparent. They were all afraid for her, though no one had said it. It was simply understood.

What the fuck are we going to do?

"...I can't, not tonight... My okaa said I absolutely had to be home to watch my otouto and do my homework... my grades are slipping because of this bullshit and she won't let me do anything until they improve. Besides, the school called and said I had been absent yesterday," Sango muttered pathetically. It was obvious she felt at fault and angry they couldn't conclude their conversation.

Miroku looked at her with surprise, "They did? They never called my house... that's curious..."

Inuyasha nodded with agreed sentiments. "Though Sess knew, they never called my house either."

Sango's appearance turned sour, "That's weird... That's just fucked up... Why me?"

Miroku laid a supportive hand on her shoulder, "And if your grades are falling, do you want me to help you study? I know you said you were having a hard time with the kanji."

Sango blushed lightly, and seemed to consider his offer.

"...I... I'm sure that'd be okay..." she murmured shyly, looking to Miroku with bashful eyes.

Inuyasha made a face.

"All right lovebirds, back to class."

Kagome and he stood together, and he quietly offered to walk her back, and she accepted with a nod of the head.

Anything to be by his side, if only for a moment or two.

And it seemed Sango and Miroku shared the same idea, as the four all walked together from the gym, leaving an air of unspoken dread in their wake.



Kagome buried her face against Inuyasha's chest, whose breathing had slowed as they laid on the bed together. Her unruly hair hid most of her face, and she listened to his heartbeat as it lulled her.

...thump...

...thump...

...thump...

"Inuyasha..."

...thump...

...thump...

"What?"

...th-thump...

...thump...

"...I really am sorry, I'm so sorry I'm such a burden."

...th-thump... th-thump...

...I'm so ashamed...

...thump... thump...

"You're not a burden. Shut up with that shit... I already told you, I want to be with you. That means we're in this together, alright?"

...th-thump-thump... th-thump...

...that means I'm holding you back... I'm putting you in danger...

...th-thump...th-thump...th-thump-thump...

...I don't want to get you hurt... not again...

"...yeah... demo..."

...th-thump-thump-thump...

...please forgive me... for ever putting you in danger...

...th-thump-thump-thump-thump...

"I don't want to hear it anymore. I feel damn guilty, and I know you do too. Let's just... get over this together, right? We promised each other... we'd be together..."

...thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump...

...I can't... not when I know, it's all because of me...

...thumpthumpthump...

...Miroku... Sango...

...thumpthumpthumpthump...

...You...

.. .THUMPthumpTHUMPthumpTHUMPthump...

....I was a fool to believe I could be with you, for real...

...THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP...

...is that my heart or yours beating...?

"...you're right, Inuyasha. We said we'd be together."

....THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP...

...yet I am so afraid... and I feel so hollow...

Inuyasha snorted, "Good. Enough of that nonsense. Go to sleep."

Time ticked by slowly... his breathing even out further, exhaustion from the last couple days taking hold of his body... Kagome felt it melt into her, his arms wrapping around her tightly like a cacoon.

She snuggled into it, though she could not feel comfortable.

She felt like she was tainting him.

She looked up to his face... the face of an angel sleeping...

And she kissed those luscious tiers that begged her to lavish them with attention... but she merely gave into something chaste, something she couldn't deny.

That flushed face, thick lashes hiding those golden irises she loved so... raven hair, soft and beautiful.

Her perfect dream.

Shattered.

"I love you, Inuyasha... I'm sorry..."

And she slipped away from him, feeling the last fragments of her hopes fall away from the tree of her life, leaving it barren and empty as winter had come into her life.

And she didn't know if it would come to bloom ever again...



"SESSHOMARU!" Inuyasha ragged voice tore through the house in desperation, as he flew down the stairs like something was after his very soul.

Sesshomaru looked at his bewildered appearance, frantic and near feverish as he answered back in worry, "I'm here, what's wrong?"

It was midnight. The chimes of the clock in the living room announced this.

Other that that, the air of the night was as still and as quiet as if time had frozen.

"Kagome... she..." Inuyasha swallowed, as if unwilling to say what he wanted to. As if if he said the truth, his fragile sembelance might break.

But Sesshomaru sensed his urgency.

And he felt afraid.

Truly, afraid.

"...what about Kagome?"

Inuyasha looked at him like a man possessed, his hair wild and his eyes not seeing.

He looked like a man truly fallen from grace.

One without hopes or dreams.

One who had given up.

And his next words gave every credibility to those feelings...

"Kagome's gone."