InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sleeping with the Enemy ❯ Guilt ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter Seven

Guilt

Kagome's eyes opened slightly and she immediately felt herself grow dizzy. She turned her head slightly and grew confused.

`This isn't Naraku's room.' She thought to herself as she attempted to make sense of her surroundings. She was lying on a mat in a small hut, apparently alone. She sat up slowly feeling woozy.

`Have I been drugged?' She wondered as she attempted to regain control over her senses. Moments later she heard familiar voices and Sango entered into the hut.

"Kagome!" Her friend cried and rushed to her side. She sat in near shock as Sango hugged her. "Are you alright, Kagome?" The demon exterminator asked as she gazed at the younger girl with worried eyes.

"I...I think so. Where am I?"

Sango looked at her with pity and sat down beside her. "We're in a village, not too far from Kaede's. We didn't want to risk moving you too much further until you woke up." Kagome sat digesting the information, and then the last few days quickly flew through her mind.

`Oh God, InuYasha has to know what I did.' She gazed at Sango and wondered why she looked so sad.

"Is something wrong, Sango?" The demon exterminator took a deep breath then put her hand on Kagome's shoulder.

"Kagura told us what Naraku did to you." Kagome's head jerked up.

"What are you talking about?" Sango looked away, feeling slightly uncomfortable about the subject.

"She told us that he...forced himself on you. To get back at InuYasha. InuYasha was so mad, Miroku and I worried that he might transform, even though he had his Tetsusaiga."

Kagome sat stunned at the words. Kagura had told them that Naraku raped her? Why would she say that? Why did Naraku send her back in the first place? Quickly, Kagome's hand went to her throat, expecting her shards to be missing, but to her surprise they were still there. She then remembered the last moments between them. He had attacked her. She looked down at her hands and wrists. They were slightly discolored and there were scratch marks on them. She then moved her hand to her neck where his mouth had been. She winced when she touched the wound. Sango too looked at Kagome's injuries.

"Will you be alright, Kagome?" She asked sadly while she looked at the girls hands and then to her neck. Naraku had hurt her. Sango silently cursed the half demon. There was no end to the evil that bastard would do. The very thought of what Naraku had done to her friend made her sick. Kagome simply looked at Sango and nodded her head, still confused about the events that had taken place over the last few days.

Sango finally stood and walked towards the door. "InuYasha was so worried about you. He barely let us rest the entire time you were gone."

The words nearly made Kagome wince. She hadn't even been in danger...not really. Even when Naraku had attacked her, she had sensed something wrong. She had been frightened but even now, thinking back on it, she didn't believe he had really wanted to harm her. There was something about the look of concern, the looks of near remorse that she had watched pass through his eyes briefly, that led her to believe that he had not intended to hurt her.

She watched as Sango walked back out of the hut, most likely to report her condition to the others. She then allowed her thoughts to wonder back to Naraku. He was evil, her enemy, and yet she could tell there was so much more to him. Like every other living being, he had depth and emotion, even if he did keep it hidden deeply within the confines of a troubled soul.

It was true that the demon, the very beast in him, wanted the jewel for power. That part killed and tortured others for personal gain and sheer gratification. But there was also human in him. His human heart seemed tainted, as though it didn't know or understand love.

Memories of him floated through her mind. How vulnerable he had seemed to her, sitting alone, gazing out the window. The words he had spoken to her...letting her know that he would not force himself on her, though he easily could have. The way he had kissed her, almost desperately, after he had hurt her. Those were not the actions of a heartless demon.

Kagome's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. She looked up slowly and saw him standing there. She could almost feel the pain radiating off of him. How terribly she wanted to tell him that she had not been hurt, that he had not failed her. But how could she utter those words? How could she tell InuYasha that she had willingly let Naraku touch her? How could she tell him that she had enjoyed his touch and even now, desired him? She stared down at her hands unable to hold his gaze.

"Kagome?" His pain filled voice only made it that much worse. Very slowly her gaze drifted back up, until she was staring into his eyes. Hurt...anguish...failure. She could see it in his face. He believed he had failed her, allowed another woman he cared for to be hurt by Naraku. Tears sprung to her eyes.

"InuYasha..." She choked out. Immediately he was at her side, pulling her to him. "Kagome, I'm so sorry. I should have protected you."

His words only made her tears flow more freely. How could she have done this? Would telling him the truth be less painful than letting him believe she had been harmed? No, he wouldn't understand, none of her friends would. They would hate her, maybe even abandon her. Naraku had hurt them all in ways that were unforgivable.

"InuYasha, I would like to go home for a few days." The words were cowardly and she knew it. But she couldn't stay and face her friends right now. She couldn't stand seeing the concern in their eyes and the guilt that they were feeling.

She glanced up and saw him nod slowly. Having him agree to her going home so easily made her realize just how guilty he felt. Never had she said she wanted to go home, without him putting up some sort of fight. He stood and turned towards the door, only stopping once he was there.

"You should get some more rest, Kagome. Once you are feeling a little better, I'll take you to the well." He then stepped out of the hut, leaving her alone again to argue with her conscience.

Late the next morning, InuYasha came for her. She felt better now but stayed in the hut pretending to be tired. Every time one of them had come in to see her, they held sad looks. Seeing them feeling sorry for her when she had not been hurt by Naraku, while each of them held deep scars, made her feel very ashamed about what she had done.

She quickly grabbed her bag and followed him out. Both Sango and Miroku looked at her sadly and bid her good-bye, saying they hoped she would return soon. Shippo made his way into her arms, hugging her and asking her to bring back candy for him. She hugged him back, promising him pocky, and then followed InuYasha out of the village.

"Do you need me to carry you?" He asked, while staring straight ahead. She glanced at him and could again see the pain and guilt he was feeling.

"No, I'm fine InuYasha." She said and continued on. When they reached the well, he did something quite uncharacteristic. He pulled Kagome to him and held her quietly for what felt like several moments, but in reality wasn't more than one. He then let her go and avoided her eyes while he spoke.

"Maybe you should stay at home for awhile, Kagome." She watched him as he spoke and realized that having her around only served as a reminder of what had happened to Kikyo, and his "failure" of herself. She could also tell that he believed she would be safer in her own era.

"InuYasha..." She began quietly, wanting to ease his pain and guilt any way she could. No words she could think up seemed adequate. Finally, she took a deep breath and moved slightly so that she was looking into his eyes.

"InuYasha, I want to come back. I'll be fine. I just want to go home for a couple of days and see my family. Besides, we need to keep searching for jewel shards and you need me here for that. " He took in her words and nodded.

Kagome smiled lightly at him, not knowing what else to do to show him that she was going to be okay, then turned and slipped into the well and back to her own time.

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"You may go now, Kanna." Naraku said to the girl. Kanna lowered the mirror that he had been watching and walked out of the room, leaving him alone. He had tried to rid himself of all thoughts of the priestess, telling himself that she was none of his concern. However, he found himself desiring to know what had happened when she awoke and realized that she was with her friends again.

He had watched the mirror intently as she came to and looked around. Clearly, she had not expected to wake in a small hut and looked nearly frightened. Naraku took a moment to reflect on this. Almost anyone, and certainly the priestess by all logical reasoning, should have been relieved to be away from him. After all he was her enemy, a demon that had attempted to kill her on numerous occasions. Yet, the look on her face when she woke and realized that she was no longer with him, left him both curious and at odds with himself.

He had expected her confusion when the demon exterminator informed him of what Kagura had said. He, himself, was not exactly sure why he had ordered Kagura to say such a thing. Again, the thought of him showing weakness and near concern for the human female brought a frown to his face. However, his thoughts had been interrupted when he watched her bring her hand to her throat looking for the jewel shards. When she realized they were still there, she glanced down at her hands, and then slowly brought one to her neck where he had injured her.

He could tell by the look on the demon exterminators face that the injuries only helped add to the story Kagura had told them. It truly looked as though he had harmed her intentionally. Naraku then sat watching Kagome as she appeared to be conflicting with herself, and he did not have any doubt about what she was thinking of. He felt himself bristle when the half-breed walked in and then went to her side. He didn't like him touching the priestess. The rest of her day appeared to be her resting. Kanna then showed her gathering her things and walking to the well with InuYasha.

Naraku's eyes narrowed when InuYasha pulled Kagome to him and held her gently. He was aware that InuYasha cared for the priestess, yet had never been one to show much affection. Now, it was apparent that Naraku had done something that broke through that barrier.

After Kanna left, Naraku sat alone gazing out the window. Never in his life, and that included his pathetic human life as Onigumo, had he felt so disconcerted. The priestess should not matter to him. Her only purpose was his pleasure. His thoughts then fell to the jewel and her companions. He now had to decide how to go about things because though he would never admit it, even to himself, he did not wish to harm her.

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Kagome stayed home for three days. Between spending time with her family and friends and trying to catch up on school work, she barely had time to think about her situation back in the feudal era. On the fourth day she packed her bag, being sure to bring plenty of pocky for Shippou, and headed for the well. She hadn't even made it half way to the village when InuYasha was there. He had detected her scent and did not want her traveling alone. Her friends still tip-toes around her. Even Miroku gave up his lecherous ways in her presence.

Over the next three weeks the group traveled to four villages, having heard rumors of shards. Slowly, things began to return to normal and for that Kagome was grateful. Her thoughts still wondered to Naraku frequently and at times she would grow flushed at the sound of his name or the thought of his touch.

Finally, she decided she needed to take a few days to go home again. She had several tests to take and needed supplies. The group found their way back to Kaede's and Kagome gathered her things so that she could head back home again. InuYasha and Miroku were both working on a hut that had been damaged during a storm, when it came time for Kagome to leave. She decided to stop and say good-bye to them both before leaving and smiled lightly when she came upon them arguing.

"Feh...I'm only doing this cuz I ain't got nothin better to do." Miroku looked over at InuYasha and smiled at his comment.

"Come now, InuYasha. Underneath that hard exterior is a kind heart. You're doing this because you know it is the right thing to do. This family needs a home and it would be wrong for us to turn our backs on people in need."

InuYasha rolled his eyes giving another off handed, "feh" and then turned to Kagome who had just walked up to them.

"You want me to walk you back to the well?" He asked already moving to her side. She continued to smile at them both.

"I'll be fine, InuYasha. Miroku needs your help here. I just came by to say good-bye and to tell you that I'll be back in three days." He watched her for a minute, seeming as though he didn't intend to take no for an answer then gazed back at the hut. Even with his strength they would still be working at it for the rest of the day and possibly into the night. He looked out towards the forest warily then back to Kagome.

"You sure you'll be okay?" He asked watching her. Miroku smiled at his friends concern but said nothing that might earn him the wrath of the half-demon. Instead he turned to Kagome himself.

"Enjoy your time at home, Kagome. Perhaps you will bring InuYasha some ramen when you return. That always makes him feel better." InuYasha glared at the monk then turned back to Kagome who was still smiling.

"I'll be just fine, InuYasha." She waved and sprinted off before he was able to argue anymore. Once she was in the forest she slowed to a walk and took in the beauty around her. It wasn't until she was nearly at the well that she realized that she wasn't alone anymore. She stood there for a moment watching the demon that was blocking her well. "Kagura...?"