InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sleeping with the Enemy ❯ Confession ( Chapter 28 )

Chapter Twenty Five:

Confession

 

Kagome slid open the Shoji door to her room and then sighed heavily and stepped into the corridor. It had been three days since she and Naraku had spoken about the Shikon jewel. Since their discussion, he had seemed more distracted than normal so she had focused on her studies rather than risk bothering him. The lack of human contact was beginning to get to her. She was, by nature, a people person. She was accustomed to having her friends and family around to talk to her and keep her company. Almost as if sensing the girl's loneliness Naraku's young incarnate stepped out into the hall from another room and looked towards Kagome.

 

At first a slight chill moved through her body. The only time she had really been around Kanna for any length of time, had been when the small child had been trying to take her soul. However, the feeling was only momentary and Kagome continued walking towards her, stopping when she reached her. The fair child looked up at her, not saying anything.

 

“Hello,” Kagome said politely. Kanna remained silent but continued to watch her with interest. Kagome stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment before smiling nervously.

 

“It's Kanna, right?” She asked.

 

“Yes,” she replied in her trance-like voice. Again the girls lack of conversation left an awkward silence in the air, which made Kagome fidget a little.

 

'Jeeze doesn't anyone around here know how to talk?' She pondered silently then offered another polite smile.

 

“Well, I should probably go study. It was nice, uh, talking to you,” she said then stepped around the small girl.

 

“I can show you anything you want to see.” Kagome stopped and turned back to the girl once she heard the words. Kanna was still watching her and Kagome glanced from the child's intense eyes to the mirror she was holding.

 

“What do you mean?” She asked.

 

“I can show you anything you want to see,” Kanna repeated. Kagome's eyes remained glued on the mirror, understanding what the girl was saying.

 

“Anything?” Kagome asked. Kanna nodded slightly then turned back towards the room she had been in.

 

“Come,” she said and Kagome followed her curiously. The girl stood in the center of the room; it was empty, except for a small futon in the corner. Kagome walked up to Kanna and stood there for a moment and waited. Finally, Kanna looked up at her.

 

“What do you wish to see?” She asked in her nearly mesmerizing voice. Kagome took a moment to think about what she'd like to see and then looked at Kanna.

 

“Can you show me my friends?” She questioned. Kanna merely held the mirror out and let an image begin to form. Kagome first saw InuYasha and Kouga running along side each other in silent determination. Nothing about the picture seemed logical to her. Why was InuYasha with Kouga? Why was InuYasha carrying Sango on his back as he normally carried herself? Then she saw Miroku perched on Kirara and with him was Kagura. The sight left Kagome confused and almost sure that the image wasn't real. Rather than question the authenticity of the image she looked at Kanna again.

 

“Can I see Shippo?” She asked quietly. The girl remained silent but the image changed. The very familiar sight of Kaede's village appeared and instantly brought a soft smile to Kagome's face. The old priestess was outside of her hut picking herbs and doing her daily chores. Often, Kagome had helped her with those chores while learning about different herbs that could be used for healing and sharing the older woman's knowledge. Soon she saw Shippo perch himself near Kaede, watching her work. He seemed to be lonely which made Kagome's heart ache. Without realizing it, she was kneeling on the ground in front of the mirror watching the young kit closely.

 

“I'm sorry, Shippo,” she said softly. She knew it was likely she wouldn't see him again and if she did, she would need to explain to him why she, the person he looked up to more than anyone else in the world, had chosen to become entangled in Naraku's world. After several moments of watching him she glanced up at Kanna again. The child was watching her, seemingly interested in the emotions she was displaying.

 

“Can you show me my family?” Kagome asked quietly. She had no idea if Kanna could or couldn't show her images from the future. The girl said nothing but glanced down at the mirror as the image changed again. It was Kagome's kitchen at home. Her mother was busy preparing food, most likely dinner. Souta was buzzing around the kitchen, carrying his soccer ball. The two of them were interacting playfully, as they usually did. It hadn't been long ago that Kagome was home, so of course her family had no real reasons to be worried about her and life continued on as it normally did.

 

She had no way of knowing if the image was real or an illusion, regardless it was a typical afternoon at the Higurashi home and Kagome realized that she did miss her family very much.

 

Kanna's gaze lifted from Kagome to the doorway where Naraku now stood watching but she did nothing to reveal his presence. The dark lord stood silently watching Kagome and then turned and walked away.

 

“Thank you,” Kagome said after a moment. Again she smiled at Kanna and stood. “I really should go study or something.” The girl merely nodded which Kagome took to be her only answer, so she turned and walked back out of the room. The hall was empty and she stood contemplating what to do with herself. Finally, she turned back to her room and went inside. It was a beautiful day so she saw no reason to waste it inside. She walked over to her bag and grabbed a book to read before stopping and looking at the small wardrobe. Seeing her friends and family suddenly had her feeling the desire to feel closer to home. She pulled out a light blue dress she had brought with her and quickly shed the kimono she was wearing and pulled it on. At least in a small way she felt normal again.

 

As usual Kagome found her way to the gardens but this time continued down the path that Naraku had taken her until she was staring at the bubbling stream again. If there was one thing about the feudal era that she would truly miss it would be the simple beauty and nature that still existed there. No matter where she looked, everything was stunningly gorgeous. No buildings, smog, vehicles or other nuisances from her era to strip away the innocent wonder of it all. She prepared to sit down on the rock and enjoy her book when one of the trees caught her attention. It was beginning to blossom and the flowers looked familiar.

 

'I wonder if Kaede has taught me about those?' She wondered to herself. She had taken surprisingly well to learning about herbs and ways of healing once she had begun coming to the feudal era regularly and her interest was now peaked. She sat her book on the rock and looked up into the tree. Many flowers and herbs looked similar and a person that wasn't an expert would need to closely examine them to determine what they where. And Kagome, while a quick learner, was hardly an expert yet. After a moment she gave a slight huff and looked towards some of the lower branches. Some hung almost within her reach and she quickly moved over near the water where there were several blossoms that she thought she could get a hold of.

 

She gingerly places her left foot onto a moss covered rock then reached up above her and felt her fingers just barely gracing the soft pedals.

 

'This would be so much easier if InuYasha were here,' she thought as she stepped onto her toes and stretched further, finally getting her hand around the flower and pulling on it cautiously to bring the branch closer to her. When she finally got her hands on the branch she snapped the blossom off, but the motion caused her to lose her balance. For an instance she thought she would regain her poise but her foot slipped on the rock and before she could even register what had happened she was sitting awkwardly in the cold stream. After a few seconds she realized that she was still holding the flower up, as if she were protecting it from the water.

 

“You better be the cure for cancer or something,” she muttered at the flower. The sound of rustling from nearby drew her attention from the blossom. Naraku was unhurriedly approaching the stream and had apparently not anticipated coming upon her sitting in a quite undignified position in the water. Kagome quickly stood up and fixed her now soaked dress before carefully climbing back onto land.

 

“I...fell in,” she explained while blushing at how positively stupid she thought she must look.

 

“I see that,” he replied and looked at the flower, not entirely sure why she been in the stream, though, part of him sorry that he had missed it. For a moment he watched her, it had been a very long time since he had found something amusing. He had often found sadistic things to his amusement, but to actually find humor in something, was not one of his strong points.

 

Despite himself, he did find him self smirking at the sight of her. She was still holding the blossom and her dress was soaked and clinging to her. Her black tresses were damp at the ends and looked messy but not unkempt. He had grown accustomed to seeing her in yukatas and kimonos and found her own attire attractive, though strange. Her dress was a soft blue color, which complimented her dark hair and eyes. The top fit her nicely though wasn't too tight nor revealing. It was held up by spaghetti straps, that left her shoulders and neck visible and he noted that her legs too, where left uncovered. He wondered briefly, how it was that InuYasha had not succumbed to sexual desires. He was a half demon, but also half human. Humans easily grew weak with lust. Perhaps, it was InuYasha's feeling and emotions for Kikyo that kept him from truly desiring Kagome.

 

“I should go change,” she said, still feeling embarrassed about the fact that she had managed to fall into a stream while trying to get a stupid flower. Naraku found himself fighting off a grin, which was a strange feeling for him but he said nothing. Kagome again glared at the flower and then walked past him down the path towards the castle. Once she was no longer within his view he let a slight grin overtake him and again wondered exactly why she had ended up in the water. Perhaps he would ask her later, or possibly even go to Kanna and find out first hand what exactly had happened. His demons were still fighting with him. Every time human emotion over took him, they fought harder to regain control but as time passed they grew weaker. He often found himself contemplating his two sides now and knew he would need to decide what to do with the Shikon jewel and also begin to focus on his next night of regeneration. It's what his demons craved, to regain control and power. Yet a part of him was oddly unsettled. Finally, he tore his thoughts away from his conflicting halves and decided to return to the castle, himself.

 

*

 

“What're you stopping for?” Kouga barked at InuYasha. Kirara gracefully landed on the ground behind them and Kagura quickly got off and stood her ground as InuYasha ignored Kouga and came her way.

 

“I don't smell Kagome's scent yet,” he said. “You better not be lying to us.” Kagura gave him a defiant look but decided to choose her words wisely. Like it or not she was the weakest amongst the group. Even the monk and demon slayer, though human, had more ability than her.

 

“Do not accuse me of lying,” she said in an even voice. “We will reach Naraku soon.”

 

“This better not be a trap,” he warned and then looked around and cautiously sniffed the air. There was no trace of Kagome anywhere and he couldn't help having a dreaded feeling from deep within. The fact that they were relying on Kagura, one of Naraku's own minion, made him angry. Thankfully, he had his Tetsusaiga or her very well might lose control of himself.

 

“I'm gonna go ahead and see if I can pick up her scent,” he said to the others. “I'll be back in a couple minutes, so make sure you're ready to go.”

 

Sango watched him leave, a part of her tempted to follow him and make sure he was alright. How much he had to be reminded of Kikyo right now. A woman he cared about being lost to Naraku. But she realized that, much like herself, InuYasha probably needed time alone to think. Often, they traveled with their group and, at times, it could get frustrating to constantly have people there. She and InuYasha weren't that different in some ways, she acknowledged. And right now he probably wanted a few minutes alone to clear his head before he lost his cool. She also realized that this was likely the only break they would be getting until Kagome was found so they might as well make use of it.

 

“It's a good thing Shippo remained behind with Kaede,” Miroku interjected once InuYasha was out of ear shot. Though everyone was fond of Shippo, by now he would have been nervous and upset and it would only wear on InuYasha's nerves all the more. Not to mention that, at times, Shippo took great pleasure in tormenting the half demon and right now that would only lead to problems that they didn't need to deal with. Sango looked over at the monk and then nodded her head in agreement.

 

“I am going to go for a short walk,” she said. Kouga was in a silent huff, something that Sango thought couldn't possibly be good for anyone involved. Kagura, too, was silent though she hadn't really expected to be carrying on conversations with the once demoness that had tried to kill them. The tension in the air was enough to make Sango feel slightly uncomfortable so she didn't wait for a response, but took off walking into the trees. She didn't intend to go far and knew that InuYasha, Kouga or Kirara would have no trouble finding her when they prepared to leave.

 

Kouga watched irritably as the demon slayer left and then less than a moment later the monk dismounted the fire cat and then slowly made his way into the forest, following the woman. The silent chill in the air was not lost on him and doubted that it was lost on Kagura either.

 

“Why did Naraku take Kagome?” He finally asked. He had heard her reasoning before but still couldn't bring himself to accept it. Kagura regarded him with pure disdain but decided it would be worse for her if she chose not to answer.

 

“I've already told you,” she said simply. A low growl came from Kouga, which made her cringe inside but on the outside she refused to let him see her pathetic human emotions.

 

“Now tell me the truth,” he demanded. As much as she would like to remain cold and stoic she couldn't help having human weakness within her now. Tears threatened to sting her eyes and she blinked them back as she looked away.

 

“Naraku has always held Onigumo's human lust within him,” she stated. “Onigumo was a lowly thieve that would rape women and partake in whores. Naraku rarely did either, though there were times when his demons grew weak and he couldn't help but lose control of his pathetic human half.” Kouga listened silently, taking in her words. She paused for a moment and he watched as her back straighted and a hard, defiant look overtook her features again.

 

“He hates Onigumo nearly as much as I hate him,” she said vehemently. “He despised allowing his human half to control him. So...he created me. I was a part of him so he wasn't at all bothered by tormenting me.” Kouga's eyes narrowed in disgust.

 

“You mean he...” He didn't even get a change to finish the words.

 

“No,” she interjected, not even wanting to hear the words. “Naraku never touched me. At least not in that way. He never had the need. Tormenting me, controlling me, humiliating me...it was more than enough to sate his needs. When he took the priestess it was so that he could take her shards of the jewel and lure InuYasha to his death. But...his intentions changed very quickly after she arrived. He never forced himself on her.” Again she paused and then looked over at him and smirked. “I don't believe he could have even if he had desired to. The priestess changed him. If not for her, I wouldn't have been able to bring Hebiakui to kill him.” Kouga scoffed at her last comment.

 

“Didn't seem to do you any good anyway,” he quipped sarcastically causing Kagura to narrow her eyes.

 

“He should have died. It was your precious Kagome that kept him alive,” she retorted and then moved closer to the fire cat in case he grew angry with her again and attempted to harm her. However, he went silent and seemingly disturbing thoughts so she chose to end the conversation and hope that the others returned soon. It wouldn't be much longer until they reached Naraku and finally she would either be free of him or meet her death. Either was better than the life of limbo she was experiencing right now.

 

*

 

“Sango?” Miroku called tentatively into the wooded area ahead of him. He knew she couldn't have gotten far ahead of him and he not only wanted to check and see that she was alright but he had very little desire to stay behind alone with Kouga and Kagura. After a moment he found her standing silently, apparently lost in her own thoughts. He contemplating turning back and leaving her to herself but she turned and looked at him.

 

“Do you think Kagome is safe?” She asked softly. Kagome had grown to be a very close friend to her and she had already lost so many people in her life. Her dear Kohaku was already with Naraku and there was no way for her to know if she would ever have him back again, or if he would even survive having the shard removed from his back. Now one of her dearest friend was at the dark demon's mercy.

 

Miroku stood silently, recalling the words Kagura had spoken to him at the wolf den. He had heard them over and over in his mind. The idea of Kagome giving herself to Naraku was almost unfathomable. And yet, something deep within him kept telling him that, given everything that had changed recently, it fit into place. Kagura becoming weak, almost a full human. His own curse dwindling down to something barely worth worrying over. Sesshoumaru's strange encounter with them and his reaction to Kagome when she had come into view. InuYasha's strange behavior after speaking with Kikyo and how Kagome had behaved when she had first come back after Naraku had taken her. They had attributed it to simply being with Naraku and what Kagura had told them that he had done to her. Now he wasn't sure what to think, so instead he offered Sango a reassuring smile.

 

“I'm sure Kagome will be fine, Sango. Naraku may be evil but he's not foolish. Kagome is strong and she can not only lead InuYasha to him but can also detect the shards of the Shikon Jewel. He has many more reasons to keep her alive and unharmed,” he said in a calm, mellow voice. He could see Sango take in his words and then a deep breath. She seemed comforted by what he had said and for that he was grateful.

 

“Do you wish to talk about something, Sango?” He questioned. She shook her head slightly and continued taking in the scenery around them. The large trees, reaching up to the sky in every direction. The fresh smell of leaves, shrubs and flowers would normally have everyone in a happy talkative mood. Never had she pictured having Kagura and Kouga traveling with them in Kagome and Shippo's stead.

 

“If Kohaku is there, we'll save him, Sango,” he said quietly and meant every word of it. If Naraku had weakened then there was no way he would leave her brother there any longer. Now tears did begin to sting her eyes. He walked over closer to her and stood silently for a moment. She had always been such a strong person. Not only physically but emotionally as well. There were times that he knew a weaker person would have given in to the pain and stress but she never gave up.

 

“We'll find Naraku and save Kagome and Kohaku,” he said confidently and then contemplated her for a moment. Sango's strong personality had always kept him at bay. He'd always felt as though she wouldn't need the same comfort and care that most women would, and often found himself groping her or doing things to get her worked up rather than making her uncomfortable by offering her affection. But right now the last thing he wanted to do was make her angry with him and despite her strong facade, he wanted to comfort her and a part of him wanted comfort as well. Rather than analyze or argue with himself, he pulled her into his embrace and stood silently for a moment, making sure she understood that he had no intention of letting his hands wander, at least not at this completely inappropriate moment.

 

She remained stiff until she heard his voice again. “We'll find them, Sango.” Finally, she relaxed and leaned into him, still half waiting for his hand to slip down her back or some comment about her bearing him a child, but neither came. They just stood in silence until they heard InuYasha shout for them to hurry the hell up. Miroku released her and then sighed.

 

“I don't think now is the time to be testing InuYasha's ability to be patient,” he said. Sango nodded, in full agreement, and then started back towards the others, glancing at him occasionally as they walked. It had felt nice to be held and given reassurance and even nicer to know that he could and would show her respect despite his lecherous tendencies. Miroku finally looked over at her and caught one of her glances which caused her cheeks to turn pink. He chose to continue walking, rather than embarrass her and they quickly came upon the sound of InuYasha and Kouga hurling insults and profanity at one another.

 

'At least some thing never change,' Miroku mused as they walked back to the path and waited for the squabbling to end so that they could continue on their journey.

 

*

 

Kagome sighed as she pulled on a pretty white yukata with small red and green flowers embroidered on it, and pulled it on. She glanced at the small white flower that had caused her so much grief and then picked it up off of the small table and put it in her hair.

 

“Might as well get some use out of it,” she muttered silently. She then looked around and realized that there was nothing to do in the room so she headed back outside. When she reached the garden, Naraku was waiting for her near the cherry blossoms. He smirked when he saw the flower in her hair but said nothing, part of him thinking it would set off one of her tirades, and as amusing as he found those at times, he didn't particularly want to listen to one at the moment.

 

“All dry now,” she said in a chipper voice. He nodded to acknowledge her observation but still said nothing. “I need to go get my book, I...forgot...it,” she said and then began trailing off as he moved his arm to reveal that he had picked up her book from the rock she had left it on. “Oh,” she said and walked over and took it. “Thank you.”

 

“You spoke to Kanna,” he said simply. She looked up in surprised and then realized that it really shouldn't shock her that he would know.

 

“She offered to show me my friends and family,” she explained. She didn't want to get the young girl into trouble but figured he should at least know why they has spoken. “It was kind of interesting to see her mirror...when...she wasn't trying to suck my soul into it anyway.” Kagome joked. Naraku watched her for a moment and merely raised his eyebrow slightly. He was still growing accustomed to having someone that would so openly say such things to him. After a moment of silence Kagome looked around nervously. She was getting used to Naraku and the way he often took in his surroundings and the people around him, rather than being loud and opinionated like InuYasha. She had found herself thinking a lot more about him lately too, wondering how things had turned out how they had.

 

“You know, ever since I found out that I was Kikyo's reincarnation I've tried to learn more about how all that works,” she said. “I've read books and talked to Miroku and Kaede. Most people believe that a reincarnation is just a copy of the original.” Naraku's interested was now peaked, it wasn't often that Kagome spoke of such things, though he didn't miss the slightly bitter note in her last statement.

 

“And that is not what you believe?” He questioned.

 

“I don't know,” she answered honestly. “But some people think that the originals were born for the purpose of creating their reincarnations. That it isn't me who is here to replace Kikyo, but that Kikyo's purpose was so that I could live.” The words escaped her lips a little more forwardly than she intended. Never would she have dared to discuss such a belief with InuYasha or even Kaede. Both cared far too much for Kikyo, or at least her memory, to hear it. It was after reading the theory in her book that she truly realized that Naraku was the only person that she could truly open up to about Kikyo. He never judged her feelings of jealousy or bitterness, in fact, he seemed to understand them. She glanced at him but he said nothing. There was a dark shadow lingering in his eyes now. Kagome bit her lip softly and then spoke tentatively.

 

“I know you're not exactly a reincarnation. But maybe you shouldn't hate Onigumo. Maybe he was meant to live so that you could be created.” Naraku let his eyes rest on her. She was staring at him in a hopeful way. Did she truly care if he made peace with his human half?

 

“Why does Onigumo concern you, Kagome?” He asked suspiciously. For a moment she was silent, not sure how to answer his question and then she let her eyes meet his again.

 

“I'm a priestess,” she answered. “If you get the Shikon Jewel and become a powerful demon...” She stopped speaking, realizing that the thought of him doing so actually frightened her, though not because she was physically scared of it. The thought of him changing actually frightened her. She could never return to her friends, not now. And, despite that fact that he was Naraku, she found that she didn't want him to turn into the cold, heartless demon she had always believed him to be. She had seen him weak, vulnerable and in his own way, caring. He had been the first man she had been intimate with and there was an unspoken bond that only the two of them could understand. Be it fate or her own poor choices, this is the path that she had started down and there was no way to turn back.

 

“If I become a powerful demon?” He asked, wanting to hear the rest of her comment. She looked away, feeling tears threatening her now.

 

“If you become a full demon, you might become a monster like InuYasha does,” she confided quietly. “You won't want me here...you might even kill me.” The words left Naraku speechless. He had expected her to tell him that if he became a demon, she would be forced to kill him, not that she feared that he would kill her. And he had certainly not expected to hear her say she feared him not wanting her with him. He suspected her words were more than an attempt to deter him from the Shikon Jewel. He believed those words were a deeper confession than she had intended them to be. Kagome couldn't hold back the tears that were now beginning to overtake her. Seeing her friends and family and now speaking to him about something that she wasn't sure he would understand had taken it's toll.

 

“I should take this to my room,” she said, referring to the book. Before he could reply she rushed past him, leaving him now torn, not only between his human and demon half, but between the only two things he had ever really desired; Kagome and the Shikon Jewel.

 

*

 

Author's Note: I am SO sorry for the long time between updates. It has been a rough month. I finished my chemo but it didn't quite do the job. Some of my cancer just won't go away! So I'm on a new chemo and will probably be going in for stem cell harvesting so that they can give me “high dose” chemo. I'll have a nice little hospital stay because the high dose chemo is very toxic and the stem cells are to be given back to me to produce a whole new immune system. That won't be for a little while, possibly 6 to 8 weeks before I'm ready for the hospital, so I'll try to get another chapter done before that. I just want to get this crap over and one with already! I'll be taking my lap top to the hospital so hopefully once I start to perk back up I can still write and then post everything when I get home. Thanks for keeping up with the story despite my inability to update in a reasonable amount of time. lol I really do appreciate the support.

 

Also, if anyone is interested in joining a Naraku/Kagome group, I found one on yahoo. We need more fans there to get the discussions going! Here is the link if you're interested: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/naraku_kagome/