InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sloppy Seconds ❯ Apples and Oranges ( Chapter 2 )

Kagome ran despite the stitches in her sides and the sharp cramps beginning to knot in her calves. She ran as if the hounds of Hell were after her. And if those ofuda didn't work, she knew he very well could be. When she finally reached the lip of the well, she stopped, doubled over, clutching her sides and gasping for air. The clearing was silent and calm. Stretching her miko senses, she could detect no demon, or hanyou, presence, and fell to her knees in exhaustion. The lack of oxygen caused her stomach to knot and she fell on all fours, dry heaving a few times before breathing deeply to calm her frayed nerves. She felt ill. Well, sick was more the word for it. Sick of all of it.

Kagome sighed, feeling the fire in her lungs subside, only to move to heat her eyes. She swatted at the offending tears beginning to form.

'Darn him!' she thought, angrily yanking and tearing the grass, 'I tried to be nice this morning. I tried to be civil. I know he doesn't love me, but would it kill him to be decent? Kikyo already has his heart, he's promised her his life, can't he at least have friends? Can't he at least let me care about him, even if he doesn't return the feelings? I've never hurt him, he can't be such a baka to think I ever would! So why does he like to hurt me. Better yet, why do I let him?'

Kagome pounded the earth half-heartedly once, forced back a sob, and threw herself into the well.

~~~~~~~~~~

After nearly half a day of exertion, Miroku slumped and fell into an exhausted sleep, the binding spell Kagome had placed finally broken. Sango carefully knelt beside him, moving a stray hair away from his furrowed brow before she turned to look at Inuyasha.

The scowling boy had barely grumbled a "Keh" since Kagome had left, only mumbling through the story of their argument when the demon exterminator and the monk had insisted he tell them what happened. After that, he resolutely built an emotional wall around himself, even ignoring Shippo's whines and attempts to incite him.

Now that he was free to leave, Inuyasha pulled himself from the floor and with slumped shoulders and flattened ears, made his way to the Goshinbuko. Kagome's scent still lingered, heading in the direction of the well, but Inuyasha could tell she hadn't stayed long after fleeing. He could feel the angry glares of his friends on his back and hung his head low. No longer bouncing or gliding through the village, he dragged his feet, barely managing the emotional strength to lift his legs. He heard Sango sigh and follow behind him, but he ignored her. He knew she was either going to take his head off or try to console him. He wasn't in the mood to argue and he didn't deserve her sympathy.

Sango didn't press but followed along silently. Lacking even the drive to launch himself onto his favorite branch, he brought his forehead to rest on the bare spot on the tree, his hand spayed on the hole made by Kikyo's arrow so many years before. He didn't turn to face Sango, he knew she was still there, and he couldn't bring himself to see the shame, anger, or disappointment in her eyes. When it finally became apparent that she wasn't going to leave so easily, he sighed.

"It wasn't like what she was thinking, you know," he said softly.

Sango didn't answer.

"I mean, I didn't mean it about the powers thing. And…and…do you think we can find all the beads to the rosary?"

Sango grunted, "Don't you think that will remind her more?"

"Well, I had an idea about that, but I don't know if it'll work. Any ways, it's…it's my link to her."

Silence.

"DAMN IT, Sango! Say something. Yell at me! Tell me what a BAKA I am! Tell me to run after her and apologize! Hit me upside the head with your boomerang! Send Kirara after me! Something! Don't just stand there looking at me! I can feel you you know. I can smell your disgust. So do something. Hurt me for hurting her…"

Sango sighed and turned back to the village, calling back softly over her shoulder, "Inuyasha, I don't have her fiery temper. Nor do I have her patience. I can't tell you what to do, what to think, or what to feel. I can't tell you what choices to make…I just hope you'll figure it out on your own before choices get made for you…"

Inuyasha sighed again, banging his head repeatedly against the ancient tree. Physical pain to take away the emptiness in his gut. "Baka, baka, baka," he muttered.

He knew Sango was right. But hell, there wasn't even a choice to make. He had made it a long time ago.

'It's been what? Three, going on four years, since she unsealed me from this tree. And it's been almost as long since I'd made up my mind. But I can't tell her yet. Not until this is over. I won't risk someone using her against me before we finish this! It won't be long now, then it'll be okay.'

'Will it? Will it be okay?' a voice in his head taunted him. 'Maybe you went too far this time. Maybe you pushed her a little too hard this time…'

'NO! I won't lose her. Not after everything. ..'

'How do you know she isn't already gone?'

"She said she'd always be by my side, for as long as I let her," he whispered aloud.

'We'll defeat Naraku, give Kikyo peace, complete the jewel and set the souls free and then I'll ask her…'

'ASK HER? Ask her what? To spend the rest of her life miserable, insulted and low while comparing herself to your dead love? And coming up short…'

'SHUT UP! She doesn't some up short! Far from it! Damn it…there is no comparison! She's Kagome! She is smiles and sighs and tears and jasmine and Ramen…she is trust and light and love…'

She saw his hanyou form and loved him in spite of it. She put up with his taunts and teasing, his moodiness and temper. She even took his demon side on. That was one hell of a bitch.

HIS bitch.

'And you've given her oh so many reasons to believe that you see her like that, right?' the voice mocked.

Inuyasha growled at the nagging voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Miroku. The sun had dipped low in the sky, throwing crimson shadows across the ground as he sank slowly to the soft earth. That voice was partially right, he'd never given Kagome any reason to believe that he saw her as anything but his shard detector and the person who stood between him and Kikyo. Except that kiss at Kaguya's castle…

But Inuyasha knew that if they could just defeat Naraku and complete the jewel, he'd spend the rest of his life making it up to her, convincing her.

He wasn't as dense as everyone believed. Oh, he played the part well enough. But he saw the way she looked at him when she thought he wouldn't notice. He saw the blush on her cheeks when he caught her gazing at him. He felt how her heart tatooed in her chest and her scent spiked when his hands grazed her thighs as she rode on his back. He heard his name on her lips when she slept, a sweet smile on her face. He knew she loved him. He knew she trusted him. And felt like he was the luckiest man in the world to have found her. Well, maybe she had found him, but still…He felt all that and more.

Granted, it had taken a while to admit, even to himself, but the peace when she smiled and the way her scent washed over him wouldn't be denied.

She had complained that Kikyo had everything first, that she was always second in line. There were so many firsts he wanted to share with her, but he had to push her away, until the time was right. He had to deny what he longed to scream to the world, until he was sure it was safe for her to know. A little piece of him died each time he heard her sigh, knowing that she was longing for the same thing as he was. But he had to protect her. He couldn't hope for a future with her if she didn't live to see it. And he couldn't live without her.

That hope was what drove him. That hope was what hardened his resolve to finish the jewel, to defeat Naraku, to avenge Kikyo, to fulfill his obligation of revenge for his friends,. That hope was what made him scream every time she wanted to go home for a 'test,' yell every time she had to go to 'skool.' Everytime she left, it was that much longer until the journey was done. That much longer until the sighs of longing, from her lips and his, could be fulfilled.

Inuyasha pulled his legs to his chest and fell into a fitful slumber in the roots of the sacred tree.