InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Smokes and Mirrors ❯ Feeling This ( Chapter 12 )

Smokes and Mirrors

 

Chapter 12: Feeling This

 

The stars shone so bright. It was beautifully breathtaking.

 

Once in a while, Kagome was grateful she lived in a shrine. Her mother was called over to a neighbor's place to tend their ailing son. The boy's grand-mother was positive a demon has possessed her grand-son; therefore the shrine's priest and priestess were needed to perform the exorcist.

 

Kagome smoothly suppressed her laughter, allowing a sarcastic grin to take shape. The only demons alive were themselves: humans with dark hearths. Demons don't even exist, but hate-filled and mentally ill humans do. And besides, that old lady probably wanted to see her grand-father again. At least that's what she thinks. Sometimes it would be obvious just how much that grandma lusted after her gramps.

 

Old people lusting after each other. `Oi…' The idea alone sent shivers down her spine. `That's just wrong!'

 

The teen sighed, starring at the stars once more. Tonight was not a night to think of disgusting things such as her grand-father fucking the old lady next door. Kagome only had a small stash. She really didn't want to ruin her night with such impure thoughts. She brought the small stick of temporary joy to her lips. She breathed in a lungful of the poisonous smoke and held her breath.

 

It burned. It burned so bad, her mouth, her throat… Her lungs. She couldn't breath.

 

Kagome coughed, unable to hold it in any longer. She looked at her minute watch.

 

Thirteen seconds.

 

`Not bad after being deprived for two years.'

 

During her travel, she didn't want to be seen as a drug addict; therefore she quit all usage. No weed, no cocaine, nothing that could label her as one. She thanked anyone up there that was listening for not turning her into some drug crazed person.

 

Kagome took another drag. Sometimes she really needed this, to feel this, this elevation, this freedom. Sitting on the roof truly did help. It made her think she could fly, especially when she had some of that white powder. She also knew not to try that little stunt again.

 

It was the first time she took some cocaine, just to try something new. That night she thought she could actually fly, that the laws of gravity didn't apply to her anymore. She was lucky she got away with a sprained ankle. Otherwise an eleven year old Kagome had a lot of explaining to do. When her mother asked, she said she had tripped over her own feet.

 

This time she couldn't contain the giggles as she thought about that awful day. Now all she did was lay on her back and enjoy the night sky. She was also fortunate to catch the new moon tonight. The stars always shined brightest when the night's most beautiful feather wasn't around.

 

She took another slow drag. She was already through half of it. If she didn't take her time, she'd be done sooner than she expected. Her entire body felt heavy yet light at the same time. She was absolutely relaxed, laying on a blanket and a pillow cushioning her head.

 

Taking another lungful, she slowly exhaled, enjoying the sensation of being on top of the world. The stars lazily danced before her, their patterns unknown to their lone audience. Clouds mingled in, adding a foggy touch to the light show.

 

She took one more drag, her own puff of smoke taking different shapes as a gentle breeze passed by. The leaves from the sacred three joined the mesmerizing flow in the sky, the wind guiding them till they lost their balance and slowly fluttered to the ground below.

 

Another drag and the tree-branches surrounding her joined in the fun.

 

Another drag and a tune started playing in her head. It was simple and smoothing. It was the same song she heard when she reached her high. The sound of a piano filled her thoughts, not slow yet not fast either. A smile graced her lips. She always liked the piano…

 

Taking her last lungful, Kagome snuffed out the remains, not interested in the rest anymore. She threw the last fifth away as though touching the foul piece would eventually burn her skin away. Closing her eyes, she settled back down. Turning to her side, she snuggled her face into her pillow. The stars still danced behind her eyelids, but in a more mellow way so they matched her tune.

 

It was late and Sota was probably asleep by now. From her perch, she'd also seen the missing half of her family come home some time ago. But that was like… She peered at her watch with one eye. The numbers were dancing as well. However, comparing the digital numbers now to the last set she read… It was over an hour ago.

 

How did time fly so fast?

 

She shrugged, closing her eyes. She didn't care. Instead, Kagome let her mind drift off to wonderful places.

 

***

 

Headache. A big throbbing headache.

 

That was what woke her up at, let's see… Three in the morning.

 

Kagome was curled up on her side, shivering from the cool night air. She pulled her blanket around herself. She was seriously expecting it would shield her from the stinging cold. But alas, her body had lost all heat.

 

The stars were not longer dancing, the motionless clouds covering most of the sky now. Her delicate tune was replaced by the regular sounds the shrine was surrounded by. The slight breeze was still ever present, slowly freezing her muscles stiff.

 

She felt so week and helpless. She hated it, but then again… It was the truth, wasn't it? That's why `good girl' Kagome Higurashi always referred to illegal substances to keep her going, to help her stay strong. She did stop for two years, but there was always some kind of substitute in the form of house whole products and school supplies. It only took the usage of a couple of literally toxic substance for her to realize just how much healthier weed really was.

 

Kagome groined; those were the worst highs of her life all done thanks to desperation, mind you, and never performed again.

 

Rolling onto her back, the teen clutched both sides of her head. She thanked the Gods tomorrow was Saturday. She had no morning class for a nice change, so she could sleep in.

 

Sleep in. That was a rather lovely idea. However, she first had to actually get inside and that was the tricky part. Kagome sat up, only to immediately fall back regretting the immediate movement. Her world was spinning round so fast she would throw-up if it didn't stop any time soon. She shut her eyes tight and willed herself to calm down.

 

Her mind remembered what her shrink told her once: deep breaths. Deep slow breaths. Once inside she could take something for the pain and fall back into blissful sleep.

 

But first, she had to calm her nerves, stop the world from spinning and most importantly, get inside.

 

She tried to sit up again, this time going about it slowly. When she succeeded that feat, she tried the next step: approaching her window.

 

“Okay… Almost there… Just… a little… further…”

 

Her quite chant was lost in the night air, nobody awake to hear her words or witness her pathetic state. That was the reason she preferred the night: nobody there to see her wallow in self-pity.

 

Inch by terribly slow inch, step by achingly painful step, Kagome drew nearer to her window. She was seriously hoping no slipping would come her way, for slipping meant loosing her balance, which meant falling on the roof, which meant a big loud noise followed by a certain teenager's plunged to the ground.

 

Like every other time, it took her a while, but she managed. As she entered her bedroom, her mind was doing a little victory dance: she made it without even a scratch this time! Once fully in, Kagome went directly for her night stand. She had a stack of pills clearly hidden from sight in her top drawer.

 

Tonight she'd take aspirin for the headache and maybe some sleeping pills. That was a good plan. At least it used to be before she tripped on her own foot.

 

Kagome was sprawled over her bed, her right arm falling off the side while her legs were left dangling on the opposite side. Not bothering to move, she counted her blessings as darkness slowly engulfed her, taking her to a far away place.

 

She sighed as unconsciousness took a hold of her, allowing her physical and emotional pain to fade into nothingness.

 

***

***

 

A.N.

 

Sorry about the late update. I might not be able to update as often as before (though two days difference doesn't seem like much), it just might come down to once a week. Who knows… Anyway…

 

This chap was completely for Kagome and her high. I wanted to demonstrate what she goes through every time she wants to find some kind of cure for her disastrous mental state. Although I have smoked once (peer-pressure shall never disappear), I didn't reach a high (although two small drags followed by severe coughing might not count) therefore I'm not sure what the after affects are. But thanks to a couple of friends' input I do know people react differently (according to their mental state) and headaches are usually normal. Kinda reminds me of a hangover… Oh well, I hope I didn't screw things up. Just for kicks, the song playing in her mind would be similar to Foolish Games by Jewel.

 

Here are the shout-outs. Thanks!

 

Miaa Hiaa: hihi!! Just curious to know: who did you think it might have been?

 

Fallen_Tenshi_: Yeah! You bet we are! ^.* I'm glad you still like the story. Thanks for reading!

 

Also, thank you to all my readers. Please R&R, even if it's just a rating. If you took the time to read this, then I'm sure you have an extra 30 second to type a review. ^_^ By the way, what do you guys think of the quotes I leave at the end? Does anyone actually read them? Or is it ignored like most AN's are? Well, till next time. Take care!

 

Quote: Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. Jonathon Larson.