InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Snowy Love ❯ Dawn ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter Two

Sango was certain she felt something on her bottom and now prepared to slap the living daylights out of Miroku who was most definitly the culprit. (She was now lying on her side, while Miroku was behind her) But as Sango turned she saw a sleeping munk looking more angelic than Sango had ever seen him. It was then Sango noticed an adoring smile had crept on her face and quickly stood up and walked away from Mirkou and the others.

Nothing of the sort had ever happened...she didn't have feelings for Miroku, did she? No way. It just wasn't possible. That perverted jerk... But Sango turned, nevertheless of every inch of her screaming not to, to just brush aside her unwanted feelings like usual, to watch Miroku. Miroku wasn't there. His covers appeared to be moved, he had definitly awakened. She must have disturbed him. Sango wished he was asleep still. She didn't want him to see her like this...and even if she was denying it to herself, she wanted to see him like that again. Like a small boy, who wasn't entirely horrible, alsleep, peaceful, not sneaky and coniving, but free of evil thoughts....

Sango nearly jumped out of her skin when she was shoved from behind. She whipped around to discover a laughing Miroku. Throwing him a dirty look, Sango slapped him angrily. "Shut up," she hissed, "everyone's sleeping!" With that, Sango looked at the others worriedly, hoping an angry company wouldn't be gaining consiousness soon. To her surprise, she spied Kagome and Inuyasha sleeping under the same blanket together, and what was more, Kagome's head rested on Inuyasha's chest, and his hand was in her hair.

Both Sango and Miroku were wearing broad grins at this sight, but Sango's soon turned into an expression of seriousness. "If they're like this, it'll be even worse if they wake up now, Inuyasha will get all war-path if we see them like that together..." Miroku looked solumn as well.

"Yeah..." But he soon broke into a fit of laughter. "Could you imagine the look in his face?" Sango scowled at him. He seemed serious again, but Sango could see the ends of his moth turned up in a slight grimace. "Do you think they--"

"No!" Sango growled scoldingly. She walked over and picked up a few things off the floor, watching Miroku through the corner of an evil eye. It had been on more than one occasion when Miroku had slapped her on her rear-end when she bent over to pick something up.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Miroku asked looking a bit hurt.

"What do you mean?" Sango inquired blankely. "What gave you that idea?" Miroku looked very surprised, his look of shock soon turned into a doubtful one.

"Right, Sango, don't even pretend..."

"Pretend to what?" Sango inquired somewhat crossly. Her hands were on her hips and she looked a bit offended. Miroku was at a total loss at why Sango was acting in such a way. It had been obvious since day one that Sango couldn't stand him.

"Pretend to not know, to not hate me. You're repulsed by me, aren't you? I see the looks you give me." Sango was looking at Miroku with a face of incomprehension, what looks? "Shaking you head scoldingly...discouragingly...condescending like I'm so much lower than every human being you've stumbled upon." Sango opened her mouth to say something, but stopped, looking rather guilty. "I may be somewhat of a pest and I'm definitly not perfect but I wish you'd treat me a bit better than dirt..." Miroku wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a tear slide down Sango's cheek before she turned away.

"What in hell is going on?" Inuyasha demanded grumpily. Both Sango and Miroku turned nervously in the directilon of Inuyasha, but he seemed as if he still wasn't awake and had simply spoken in his sleep. It was obvious that he was still unawake when he clutched Kagome...he would rather do anything than that infront of them, let alone at all...

Quickly, Sango and Miroku dropped their recent conversation and Sango began cleaning around the room while Miroku sat by a window and watched the snow fall.

Sango couldn't believe Miroku had noticed something even she hadn't noticed. Sango knew exactly why she had made those looks, and she hated admiting it to herself. She had always had feelings for Miroku, and her way of again covering up her feelings like usual and living in denial was by forcing herself to dislike and maybe even hate Miroku. These thoughts stunned Sango and at first she wouldn't believe them.

She clutched a piece of Miroku's clothing in her hand sub-consiously as her thoughts were rushing through her mind and she stood still, staring in space. How could she be so selfish? So cruel to be so unkind to Miroku because she couldn't handle her feelings? Sango studied the ground sadly. Was she so horrible? She knew the answer to that. She must be. Poor Miroku, no one deserves to be hated.

Her head titled upward, and Sango jumped backward upon discovering Miroku less than eight einches away from her face. "Are you alright?" Miroku inquired, a concerned expression on his face. It was funny how someone you've been unforgivingly cruel to can actually care for you.

"Yes, I'm fine...I swear," Sango lied, being sure not to meet Miroku's eyes. Miroku raised his hand, about to gently touch Sango's shoulder, but thought better of it. 'It's all my fault she doesn't trust me...I'd get an apprehensive look for that one...' he thought as he retraced his hand away from Sango.

Sango felt her face heating up to a very uncomfortable temperature, she couldn't stand being around Miroku any longer. She wished she could disapear. It was as if she was in a spotlight and every person on Earth was watching her, only, in acutality, one person was and it was rather dark in the cabin, sunrise still being in process.

Miroku was like a thousand people. And it was then Sango realized this thought couldn't be more true. Sango was a worrier, a person who was constantly worrying for everyone. But in reality Sango simply wanted to care for people, she had never truely cared, she simply wanted to be a better person and in the process fooled herself into thinking she was a selfless one who never gave herself a thought and cared dearly for all. It was then Sango realized she hadn't sincerily cared for anyone...only one. And the one person she had truely cared for she pretended to hate.

She must have had billions of brain disfunctions. She must have been crazy, it was the only explaination. She needed what Kagome called therepy. Proffessional help. To her utter horror, Miroku was still surveying her carefully as she was deep within thought, which was not a good thing. Sango had been completely oblivious to what she had been doing in her thoughts, who knew what stupid thing she had done subconsiously.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Miroku inquired for the upteenth time, while Sango had been too deep in thought to hear him. "Sango?" She simply looked up at him, desprately hoping he could see. He could just understand, understand what she had failed to understand about herself. That he could see through her eyes what was wrong, what was wrong with her, what she felt. That she had been stupid enough to replace love with hate. "Look, Sango, I know you care for us so much...I know I was wrong, I'm an idiot, I'm sorry. It's wrong of me to add to all your worries...by claiming you hate me...I know now you don't. Please don't worry."

"I don't care about any of you...most of you..." Sango replied vancantly. Miroku stared at her.

"What do you mean?" He inquired worriedly, as if she had gone insane. "You're always worried about--"

"No," Sango sobbed. "I just made myself--I just created an illusion---I just wanted to care--to be a better person--I never--" Sango stopped. He would never understand. No one could. Not even her. He would comfort her, as many had, humor her "maddness", not understand. Like everyone else about everything else she had claimed, everything else she was upset about.

"It's alright, Sango...most of us don't even care...we don't even try to be better people, try to care..." Miroku said softly. "I'm sure your wrong, you've cared for at least one person truly, I know...no one expects you to care for everyone..." Miroku was resisting a great urge to hold Sango and console her, even if he knew he could get away with it in her vulnerable state...

"I can't beleive...you believe me..."

"What?" Miroku inquired in a puzzled tone.

"Everyone just misunderstands...they don't get it...ever..." Sango continued, stunned. "I always feel so alone, you know? They all live outside this small little world I live in..." Mirioku look down at Sango sadly. "Miroku I screwed up," Sango said suddenly. "I...I did care for a person...but...I screwed it up...I ran away from my feelings...I denied them...I..." Sango fell silent.

"You what?" Miroku asked gently, trying to ignore the painful bruning inside him that would only go away once he could jsut brush that one lose strand from Sango's face.

"Nevermind...I...don't think I should say..." Sango whispered. Miroku couldn't hold himself back anymore, and before he realized it he had grasped Sango's shoulders and his nose was pressed against hers. Sango was sure not to look at Mrioku.

"I promise......look at me." Sango turned her head to face Miroku, but her eyes remained averted. Miroku took her chin in his left hand and tilted her face upward. Sango looked staight into his eyes unintentionally, but found herself unable to tear her gaze away. "Sango, I know you don't have any faith in me...but I promise I'll respect you...I promise I won't disrespect you...your body again...I promise...please beleive me..." Sango gulped.

"Why wouldn't I believe you?" Sango asked softly. Her eyes were glittering with tears.

"Because...you...you've never trusted me...I'm not sure why you never did...even when I wasn't up to anything" Miroku replied, averting his own eyes sadly.

"I did it because I hated you." Miroku connected his gaze with hers in a stunned manner and quickly looked away. His world was now fully shattered. So she did hate him. That small hope that she didn't was gone, he pulled away slightly. "I hated you...but I didn't really." Miroku quickly looked up at Sango.

"You didn't...you didn't pretend to hate me...even to yourself, did you?" Miroku inquired, thouroughly shocked, but hope alight inside him.

"I don't understand it..."

"Understand what?" Miroku asked, anxiously.

"How you..." But Sango found herslef to afraid to continue. Was she still to afraid to share her feelings with others? She couldn't admit Miroku was right, that she had disguised her feelings of lkove toward him with hate. 'Oh no,' Miroku thought. 'I can't be this close--'

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "I shouldn't be invading your space like this." And Miroku began pulling away. But Sango suddenly threw her arms around his neck and firmly pressed her lips on his. Sango couldn't have taken Miroku more by surprise, unless she turned the smooch into a french...which she did. Slowly, Sango pulled away.

Miroku closed his eyes for sometime then blinked at Sango as if he couldn't believe it was her standing in front of him after the kiss he had received. She was the last person on earth he would have expected to kiss him. He wouldn't have been more surprised if Inuyasha had. "Wh...wh.......wh...wh--why--" He then just sighed defeatedly, unable to say what he was trying to say. "I don't get it."

"I guess I can't excpect you to understand everything about me... You see...that hate was covering up a substantual emotion of...Miroku...you were the only person I really cared about...that I actually worried about and I somehow covered that up with a false hate..."

"But...why did you kiss me?" Miroku inquired still stunned and unable to understand.

"Miroku I..." Sango was struggling to find a way to say what she was finding hard to understand herself. "...I...I...I love you."

It was at that moment Miroku was fully expecting everyone to jump up from their blankets and shout, "Gotcha! The jokes on you!" or "Merry Christmas Fools!" or Sango to say, "I really had you going there, didn't I? Now where's that mouth wash stuff Kagome has so I can get rid of the germs you've injected in my mouth?" But nothing like that happened, and Miroku just stared. She was serious.

Sango just knew Miroku was about to completely panic. Miroku didn't make commitments. She might have been worng about him, he may be a good person, but he just wasn't good with women...well maybe in certain rooms in the house that were intended for sleeping in...but when it came to real relationships...

But Miroku did the exact opposite of Sango's prediction. Miroku put his hands onto Sango's shoulders and leaned very close to her face studying her. He still didn't fully beleive Sango had fallen in love with a bum like him, but he knew she definately thought she did and was completely serious. Sango was sure that part of him thought she was too good for him...she could see it in his eyes, and she was right.

"Sango...I..." Sango was surprised Miroku hadn't gone ballistic, but she was sure that the "I'm-sorry I-don't-feel-the-same-way-it's-not-you-it's-me speech was coming up. 'She...loves me...me...Miroku...she said my name, so I know she wasn't talking to someone behind me...or didn't mistake me for somone else...' Sango was preparing for the hurt. 'I can't believe...' Miroku's eyes were soft...he looked as angelic as he did when he had been asleep.

"Damn! Why does he have to make me want him more before he drops me like a bomb!' She thought desprately. He cupped her face in his hands. His eyes were now slightly watery. 'I can't beleive he feels so bad for me...well he's so much better than I ever let myself admit! I hate myself so much! I hate the way my life has to function!' She thought. He was about to do it, to completely kill her emotionally. "Sango...I--" he said again, but was then cut off by a yawn and the rustling nearby.

Inuyasha was now awake. Miroku and Sango watched, frozen, as Inuyasha sat up, sleepily. "God I'm glad no one saw me here with Kagome..." He muttered looking around. Sango and Miroku pulled away. "Hey Inuyasha," Miroku said grinning. Sango's heart skittered seeing him smile, like it always did, but she had always convinced herself her faltering heart was due to heart trouble. "Nice sleep with Kagome in your arms?"

Inuyasha's mood went from horror--"Y-you're awake..y-y-you saw?"--to nervousness--"look--it wasn't what it looked like--see what happened--the blanket--Shippo--jacket--shivering--found myself walking--then--"--to grumpiness--"uurshibbblesnkkreppershnickerfribblesnickginyerrr"--to exploding anger--"You KNOW I don't have to explain ANYTHING!!! I didn't DO ANYTHING!!! Kagome was cold and I wanted A BLANKET!!! You hava a problem WITH THAT?! And BEFORE you start SAYING I LOVE her or somethin' I DON'T, OKAY?!"--which woke everyone for miles up.

Groans and yawns filled the room and soon Kaede was yelling at the top of her lungs that she was going to start breakfast and everyone began shuffling out of the room to go and change into the warmer clothes Kaede was providing. "You know KaGOme, this is all YOUR fault!!" Inuyasha roared at Kagome.

"What did I do this time?" Kagome yawned drowzily as they all walked.

"Both Sango and Miroku saw us sleeping!" Inuyasha shreaked.

"Huh? Why is that bad?" Kagome inquired sleepily.

"Do you know what they THOUGHT?!" He hissed.

"Oh...that..." Kagome replied in realization, she yawned again, "...who cares..."

"Well..." Inuyasha blushed and looked around nervously and quickly whispered in her ear, "I was sort of--NOT KNOWING WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS DOING IT, ME BEING ASLEEP-- hugging you in my sleep, okay?" Kagome was silent for a few moments, then yawned.

"So?" She said, carelessly. Inuyasha was now scowling at her, but he noticed that her cheeks were far redder than usual and she was giving nervous side-ways glances toward Miroku and Sango thoughout the morning.