InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Solitude ❯ Solitude ( Chapter 1 )

Solitude

 

It was a bright shiny day, but she felt like it was dark and dreadful. It was like the weather wanted to be the opposite of her mood. She was feeling secluded and miserable. He had gone to see her again. Not that she could blame him, he loved the dead woman. He went to see a clay pot, and she went down the well.

 

Kagome sighed and leaned against the God Tree. This was one of the places that she felt connected to the hanyou. It was where she first seen him, he was sealed to the tree at the time, but he looked so peaceful. She smiled gently to herself remembering how he called her Kikyo when he first saw her. That was three years ago.

 

Kagome opened the notebook she had sitting in her lap. It was a book of song lyrics that she wrote from time to time. Most of them were songs that Inuyasha had inspired. When he did something sweet, or when he went to Kikyo, she had written about her feelings in the form of poetry. It wasn't until she picked up a guitar that she decided to make them into songs. That was what she was doing right now. Trying to get the new song that she had just written to sound right. She picked up the guitar that was sitting beside her and strummed at chord. She had taught herself to play, slowly, over the past few years. She didn't have much time for it with all the shard hunting and exams she was worrying about, but she did have some spare time between her finishing tests and Inuyasha coming to get her. But now that that Naraku was defeated, and the jewel complete, she was free to compose her music.

 

She put the instrument down, exasperated, she wasn't finding a melody that suited and it was bugging her more than the hanyou and the clay pot. She just didn't know what to do. He was gone, probably telling Kikyo about how much he loved her, and she was here, venting her frustrations out on inanimate objects. She never felt more alone than when Inuyasha went to her.

 

Silent tears began to run down her face. I will not cry over him. He loves Kikyo. Just the thought of Inuyasha going to Hell with the dead priestess was enough to bring her to tears. She loved the hanyou too much, and he was too oblivious to see that. So many times she wanted to come right out and say that she loved him.

 

She turned back to the task she had put on to herself, to finish her song. It's too hard to concentrate. My mind is all over the place. A vehicle drove by making an obscene amount of noise, breaking her concentration once more.

 

“Dammit, it's too loud here,” she said out loud. She then grabbed her guitar and headed to the well. It wasn't as noisy in the Feudal Era as it was in hers. She paused in front of the time portal and contemplated what she would say if Inuyasha tried to explain himself in seeing Kikyo this time. I'll just tell him to leave me alone and…she knew she couldn't do that. She was too kind to. She would hear him out and forgive him, like she always did. “I'm such a pushover when it comes to him.” With that she jumped through the well.

 

 

Inuyasha was faced with the biggest decision of him life. Choose Kikyo and Hell, or Kagome and life. He owed Kikyo that but he didn't love her, there was just a feeling of emptiness, no emotion. Kagome, on the other hand, filled him with life and love. He didn't know when he began to have these feelings for her, just that he had them. The rest of his life, and the end of it, were to be determined by this crucial choice. He just didn't know what to do.

 

He was slowly following the soul stealers that belonged to Kikyo trying to figure out all the thoughts in his head. It wasn't working that well. He was just so confused. He loved Kikyo fifty years ago, but he loves Kagome now. His past or his future, that's all it came down to now. Past. Future. Kikyo. Kagome. He felt like banging his head off of a tree.

 

Then he saw her. The dead miko. Sitting beside a tree. Her cold, expressionless eyes saying nothing. The smell of death and decay radiating off of her. This was not the woman that he had fallen for half a century ago. She walked over to him and embraced him. She even felt like death. Cold. She raised herself up and placed her lips on his. He didn't react, didn't feel a thing.

 

Inuyasha put his hands on Kikyo's shoulders and pushed her away from him. He looked at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with the now angry miko. He had made his decision. He just uttered on single word that told Kikyo everything that she did not want to hear, “No.”

 

The dead woman was beyond mad. “You promised me, Inuyasha.”

 

“No,” he shook hid head, “I didn't.” With that, he turned around and began to walk away, feeling no need to explain his choice to her. He left her there, not really caring if she went to Hell herself. He made his choice; he was going to stand by it.

 

When he was a good deal away from the angered priestess, he stopped and leaned up against a tree. He had just chosen life over death, future over past, Kagome over Kikyo. In the time it took for Kikyo to get up and touch him, he knew that he could not live without Kagome. No promise to Kikyo could change that fact. He just wondered if she felt the same way. He knew that she cared about him, but did she love him? He was close to the well, he knew she must of went back to her era when she was him follow Kikyo's soul stealers, so he would just go get her and declare his undying love!

 

Inuyasha shook his head. He couldn't do that. He wasn't that good with words and would probably screw it up in some way. I'm beginning to think this might be hard.

 

He was about to get up to go to the well when he caught Kagome's scent on the wind. He took a deep breath and stood up. Now or never. He had no idea why he was doing this now, but he was going to her. Hopefully he didn't mess this up.

 

 

Crawling out of the well was a lot harder holding a guitar. Kagome had just come to this conclusion just a few moments ago. She walked toward to God Tree, slowly, wondering if this was the day that Inuyasha was going to Hell with Kikyo. She hoped not, he didn't even say good-bye to her, and she never got a chance to tell him how she felt. She walked up the sacred tree and rubbed a finger over the mark that once held an arrow that held Inuyasha there in an eternal slumber.

 

Suddenly hit with a wave of inspiration, she dropped her notebook and held her guitar. She picked a simple scale, and hummed a melody. It sounded perfect to her. Just the kind of sound that the song needed. She began to sing the words that she wrote, hoping that no one hear her.

 

How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth
How long have I stood here beside you
I live through you
You looked through me

 

Inuyasha was walking in Kagome's direction when he heard her singing. It was soft, barely audible above the instrument she was playing. She sounded pained and as he listened to the words, he found that she was singing about him.

 

Ooh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude;
I can't stay away from you

Kagome was singing and playing with all her heart. The emotion poured out of her. She no longer cared if anyone saw or heard her, not even if it was Inuyasha. He was probably with Kikyo anyway, so she didn't have anything to fear.

 

How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who now is left alone but me

“She feels alone?” Inuyasha whispered to himself. He suddenly felt a pang of guilt in his heart. It was all his doing. Him going to see Kikyo.

 

Ooh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude,
Only you, only true

Everyone leaves me stranded
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind
I can't stay here another night

 

“I made her feel unwanted.” Now he knew it. He was an asshole. He slowly began to walk up behind her. She didn't even sense him coming; she was too immersed in her song. Her voice was getting stronger and he could smell salt. She was crying.

 

Your secret admirer
who could it be

Ooh, Can't you see
All along it was me
how can you be so blind
as to see right through me

 

He knew now. She had feelings for him. She must have if she wrote something this emotional. He felt awful for having put her through all of that pain. Silent tears ran down his face, knowing that he caused this woman that he loved so much hurt. He promised himself that he wouldn't do that to her again.

And Ooh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you

Ooh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude,
Only you, only true

 

Kagome finished her song, proud of how it sounded. She was in the middle of wondering if anyone had heard her when she heard a silent sniff form behind her. She turned around to find Inuyasha standing behind her with tears running down his face. She was genuinely shocked to see him standing there. She didn't even have time to inquire why he was there because before she knew it she was wrapped in his arms.

 

“I'm so sorry.” He barely got it out of his mouth. She made him feel so vulnerable, so emotional. He had to tell her how he felt or else he might just lose her. He loosened his grip on her and pulled away, only slightly. Inuyasha brought up his hand under her chin and tilted her head so that her brown eyes met his own golden ones.

 

“Inu… Inuyasha?” His eyes were still glistening with the tears he had just shed.

 

He didn't say a thing. He brought his head down and pressed his lips, softly, to hers. She responded to his kiss. It was like a dream come true, for them both.

 

When he pulled away Kagome was flushed, and so was he. “What was that for?” Kagome asked through heavy-lidded eyes.

 

“I was just letting you know that you don't have to be alone anymore.”

 

She gave him a little smirk, “Isn't that what I say to you?”

 

He just smiled at her and kissed her again.

 

 

 

AN: Well that was my first Inu fic. Please review, I would like to know if it's good enough to make a whole story out of, not just a one-shot. I know that Inu and Kagome are probably OOC, but that was my intention. So R&R please!

~CA