InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Some people need a push ❯ Confessions and a Promise ( Chapter 12 )

Chapter 12: Confessions and a Promise

 

Alone in the Woods, Japan

Feudal Era, Wednesday Night, Day 13

 

“Inuyasha, I'm not going to stay behind! I've fought with you against Naraku before; why can't I now?”

 

“I don't want you to!”

 

“Why? Because we're engaged? I don't want you to treat me like a glass figurine!”

 

“People are going to die in this battle, Kagome. I don't want you to be one of them!”

 

“Well, then you can't go, either, because I don't want you to die!”

 

“Kagome, I'm trying to keep you alive! I want you to be safe, I need to know that you're safe!”

 

“I will be safe! You can take care of me, Inuyasha, just like you always have. I don't want to be away from you.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke, and tracked slowly down her cheek.

 

“Kagome, don't cry. You know I hate it when you cry. I just want you to be safe and sound when this is over.” Inuyasha gently wiped away Kagome's tears, holding her close.

 

“I know, Inuyasha. But it scares me when I think that if you make me stay here, and you die in the battle, I won't be there to... to...” she sobbed.

 

“Hush...hush... I'll be fine. I won't make you stay, Kagome. Just promise me something, alright?”

 

“What?"

 

“If the demons get too close, or it looks like we're not gonna win, I want you to run away, climb a tree, and use that spell Jan's teaching you to get to the well. Then you have your grandpa show you how to make a seal, make about twenty, and slap them on the well. Okay?”

 

“But... if I do that, you won't be able to come get me!”

 

“Feh. I'll be able to get to your time, just not get out of the well. I'll yell a bunch if that happens, and you'll come and let me out. Okay?”

 

“All right. I promise.”

 

“Good. You'll be safe, and I'm happy.” He pulled her close, and breathed in her scent.

 

“Inuyasha...”

 

“Yeah?” He pulled away enough to look at her.

 

She smiled, and said quietly, “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you, too, Kagome. I wish...”

 

“What?”

 

“I wish we had more time before the battle. Or that we didn't even need to battle Naraku.”

 

“Why?”

 

He shifted his feet uncomfortably. “Because, right now, you're in heat.”

 

“Why?!” Her voice was angry, now, and he was a little... nervous... about what she might do.

 

“What do you mean, I'm in heat?”

 

“Well... it's a little uncomfortable to explain to you! I don't know what else to call it; I'm a dog demon, for gods' sakes!” He stepped back from her, and ran a hand through his hair. “If we... mated... you'd get pregnant, most likely.”

 

“Oh,” she murmured. “Why is that a problem again?”

 

He stared at her. “Because... You'd be pregnant!”

 

“Are you saying you don't want kids?”

 

“I'm saying I don't want you pregnant when we fight Naraku! And I'm pretty sure your mom would be mad at me, too. Your grandfather would probably double his efforts to exorcise me... and I don't think you'd be able to finish your `school' if you were pregnant!”

 

She stepped away and turned her back to him. Crossing her arms, she muttered, “Don't be so logical.”

 

Being who he was, with the ears that he had, he had no problem picking out her words. He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. “It doesn't matter, now, anyway. We love each other, and nothing will keep us apart. That's all that matters.” He thought for a short moment, then said, “And I do want kids. I'd enjoy this while you can, because I want lots of kids.” He grinned as he said this, and Kagome laughed.

 

“First, we have to decide where we're gonna live, Inuyasha. Your time, my time, or both? Then we have to break the news to Grandpa; I don't think he'll take it lightly. Although, he could probably get more things out of Hojo and his mom if I were assured of spending a ton of time in this Era. My mom would probably go into shock, but the thought of one day having little versions of you running around with those cute, fuzzy ears will decide her. I don't know what Sota will do, though. He idolizes you, but he's been getting very protective lately.”

 

“Feh. I'll take care of the runt. You just worry about getting through school really quick, so we can have a family.”

 

“Wait... after I get out of school, you'd need to get a job in my time if we decided to stay there! We'd have to get legally married, and get you papers, and... oh, headache!”

 

“That's simple to solve. We'll just live in this time, and visit your family occasionally.”

 

“But... we'd still have to get married in my time, which means you'd need papers, anyway.”

 

“Let's not worry about that now, okay?” He rested his chin on her head, and Kagome leaned against him. “Besides, you could probably get your family over here if you held their hands when you jumped, as long as they're blood related.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. It should work; I'd try it with Sota first, though, because you can hold him.”

 

“And I was almost reassured, there, too,” she laughed.

 

 

Stopped for Camp, Japan

Feudal Era, Wednesday Night, Day 13

 

Sango was sitting alone, again, away from the fire. She stared off at the stars, thinking about the events of the day. Miroku had hugged her; when she realized that they had embraced, she also realized that he wasn't groping her. She knew that was probably how they had ended up hugging, but... `why would he have moved his hands?'

 

Sango had been a demon hunter her whole life. She was a woman raised to do what was considered a man's job, and most men resented her for it. Oh, there was that lord who asked her to marry him, but that was a long time ago, and he appeared to have lost interest after he witnessed her defeat a demon who had been terrorizing his village.

 

Before Miroku, no man had really treated her like a woman. Her father treated her as a girl, as a daughter, but he was the only person before the monk to treat her as a female. Miroku, though, treated her as a woman, and a fellow demon hunter. He made her feel like someone noticed she was female, and didn't resent the fact that she was raised to do a man's job.

 

She wouldn't deny that she was attracted to him. She was. It was just that she didn't know how to take it; he acted the same way around any other woman, and she didn't want to be hurt if he was just being a lecher. He would be sweet, sometimes, and she felt as if he might actually feel something genuine towards her, then he goes and ruins it by feeling her up!

 

`But today... he just hugged me... he wasn't trying to grope me, or look down my shirt... he was just holding me... and I saw his face. He looked like he could have died happy right then. Could he care for me? If he does, then why the hell does he keep groping me like every other woman he meets?!'

 

Miroku, sitting by the fire, glanced worriedly at Sango. Why was she so quiet tonight? He guessed it had to do with what had happened earlier. She was probably mad at him; it did start out as him trying to grope her. `But I didn't do that when she hugged me!' He began to justify the action, when he realized that it didn't really matter.

 

He didn't need to justify something that had happened in the past; if Sango felt that it was crossing the line, then he should apologize to her. The only problem was, he didn't want to apologize. He wanted her to figure out that he was in love with her. He wanted her to love him. `I want to raise a family with her.'

 

He sighed, knowing that it probably would never happen. Miroku knew that Sango thought that he was too lecherous to ever settle; she thought that he would always chase other women, no matter what he would tell her. She thought that he would always be a womanizing lecher, not to be trusted with anyone's heart.

 

`Besides,' he thought, `Who would want to be tied to a man who is cursed? If we don't defeat Naraku soon, the Wind Tunnel will kill me. No one would want to be tied to someone with a fate like that.'

 

He walked over to where she was sitting. “May I join you, Sango?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Her voice was nonchalant, giving away none of her feelings, or her thoughts. “You seem troubled, Sango. Perhaps I could help?” he said, hoping, praying that she would tell him.

 

She was silent for a long time, weighing her words. “It's about what we'll do... after the battle with Naraku. Kagome and Inuyasha have decided what the future holds for them; Shippo will probably go back to Kaede's village, and live there until he's fully grown. I'll probably take care of Kohaku... but that's all I can think of doing. I don't want to be a demon slayer all my life; I want to settle down and have a family. No man wants to wed a woman stronger than he is, though, and no man would want a wife who associates with demons.”

 

“Not all men are like that, Sango. Some men like women who are stronger than them. And not all men have preconceptions about demons.”

 

“But, would a man like that want to settle down with anyone, especially a woman like me? To raise a family?”

 

“Everyone dreams of settling down with a beautiful woman and raising a family one day, Sango. Just because you fight demons, it doesn't mean that all men will immediately dismiss you as a mother for their children. I've seen you around kids, Sango; any man could see that you would be an excellent mother.”

 

“But if they knew that I probably have demon enemies, would they still consider me as their wife? It would be a danger to them and any children we would have had. Any man would be a fool to dismiss that fact.”

 

“Every one has enemies, Sango. Lords have other lords as enemies; farmers have other farmers, soldiers that they insulted. They would be in no less danger than if you had human enemies. And any man you marry should trust you to be able to care for and protect your children.”

 

They were silent for some time, thinking things over. Sango heard what Miroku had told her openly; he wondered if she heard what he was trying to imply. In turn, she knew wondered if he was trying to hint at how he felt, or if he was just trying to reassure her.

 

“What will you do?” she finally asked.

 

“I've never considered past defeating Naraku. I saw how my mother was when my father died of the Wind Tunnel, and I didn't want to put anyone through that. Despite appearances, Sango, I never wanted to attach anyone to me; I knew that there was a good chance that I would die trying to get rid of my curse, or being killed by the curse.” He paused, then continued.

 

“I didn't want to have anyone tied to me, because of the two fates I was sure I was destined to. I still might be destined for them, but now I have a chance of surviving.” He laughed bitterly, and said, “Now that I do, though, I've found that I would rather not have that chance; if I don't survive, I'll know that I might have; if I do, I'll have to make decisions about my life that I've never given thought to before. I'm afraid I have much the same predicament that you do, except you probably have more options. No father in his right mind would marry a daughter to a man who assuredly has demon enemies, who used to be cursed, who was revoked of a monk status, and who has a reputation for a wandering hand and even more wandering eye. No brother would do that to a sister, and any lone woman, like yourself, would be afraid that I'd wander off every time another woman walks past.”

 

“Why would I have any more options, though?”

 

“Because you don't have my reputation, or the past of a cursed monk, behind you. You are a beautiful woman who is a natural at caring for children. You are intelligent, and capable. You are kind. You are, in fact, everything that a large number of men dream of having in a wife.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. Most men do not really like having to care for women who panic at the slightest cause for alarm, who are afraid of pain, who are completely reliant on a man to do everything, who cannot think for themselves. You are the complete opposite of that; the only thing that a man would ever have to complain about is how hard you hit, and I believe that I am the only man you have ever had cause to use that particular method on repetitively.”

 

“Then why do men act like I'm another one of them, or are afraid of me?”

 

“Some men are afraid of what you might say or do if they propose to you; if I remember correctly, a flat out proposal leaves a handprint for two days. The others believe that getting to know you, and letting you get to know them, would be a better approach to seeing if you would marry them.”

 

“Men never treat me as a woman, though. If they don't treat me as one of them, they treat me as a... as they would a demon, I suppose. You seem to be one of the few men who has ever noticed that I'm even female, let alone a woman.”

 

“I'm sure the others noticed. I am just... less afraid of, and more used to, rejection. Especially around you. I believe the record for rejection now stands at eighteen times in one day.”

 

“You were counting?”

 

“I wanted to give Shippo something to do so that he wouldn't get on Inuyasha's nerves. It was one of those days where all we did was walk all day, and Inuyasha had already gotten `sat' twice before we even set out.”

 

“Good strategy. Couldn't you have had him count something else, though?”

 

“It improved Inuyasha's mood, too. When I get hit by you, it makes him feel better about getting `sat' by Kagome.”

 

“Nice to know that I provide entertainment for the others,” she said wryly.

 

“You are a valuable asset to the group, dear Sango. You help with the demon slaying more than I do, and you help improve the others' moods; I'm afraid that you're the only reason Kagome hadn't murdered Inuyasha. You are a much better cook than Inuyasha, as well, and having you in the group means that we have to eat his cooking much less.”

 

“True. Kagome takes care of the food, though. I am no where near the cook she is.”

 

“I would eat you cooking any day, Sango.”

 

She glanced at him apprehensively. Catching the glance, he asked, “What's wrong?”

 

“I'm making sure of where your hands are. Whenever you start saying things like that, you're usually about to grope me.”

 

“I've decided to make an effort of refraining from that kind of behavior tonight.”

 

That took her aback. She had no idea why he would do that, and it baffled her. “Why?”

 

“Jan gave me some advice, night before last. She said that if I stopped groping you, you would stop trying to kill me every time I say something that might be connected to that.”

 

“That's the only reason?” Her voice was quiet, and bore a trace of disappointment.

 

“It's not the only reason, but it is the only one that I feel comfortable speaking about, other than I do not wish to be considered a lecher for my whole life, particularly by you.”

 

“What makes me an exception?”

 

“I care about how you think of me. I may not have shown that before, but I do care about how you view me, what your opinion of me is.”

 

“Touching my ass every time I came close enough to grope was not a good way to improve my opinion of you.”

 

“Thus, my new edict, where I attempt to cease being a lecher.”

 

She thought about that for a moment, then said, “Wouldn't you suffer from withdrawal, though?” Trying to hide a grin, she watched for his response.

 

“I will be able to manage, I'm sure of it. It would be easier if I were not tempted continually by a beautiful woman, but I am sure I can manage.”

 

“Well, Inuyasha would castrate you now if you even look at Kagome like that, and you know it, so you won't have to worry about that.”

 

“I wasn't talking about Kagome.” Sango began to speak, but Miroku held up a hand. “I was not speaking of Jan, Maria, or Amelia, either.” He shuddered, then said, “After being the center of Maria's attentions for a short time, I considered living the rest of my life as a serious monk, and take a vow of celibacy.”

 

“You haven't taken a vow of celibacy?”

 

“The monastery understood that I was only becoming a monk to obtain the knowledge and power to defeat Naraku. They said that I could not take the vow until I had defeated him, and had the curse removed.”

 

“That explains why you are not reluctant to ask women to bear your children.”

 

“Yes, it does.”

 

They sat in silence, side by side, staring at the stars, for another ten minutes, until Inuyasha came and said, “Hey! It's time for dinner! Miroku, Maria wants to know if you'll show her how to fight with a staff.”

 

Miroku blanched, and Sango chuckled. “I'll ask Jan to find something for her to do.”

 

Miroku sighed in relief. “Thank you!” Standing up, he offered a hand to her.

 

Usually, she would have refused and stood herself up. In light of the conversation they had just had, though, and the thoughts preceding it, she decided to take his hand. It was, after all, the feminine thing to do. She firmly told herself that it had nothing to do with being able to touch him without a need for violence. “Thanks, Miroku.”

 

He pulled her up gently, and loosened his hand. If she wanted to drop it, she could, but he was enjoying being able to touch her without being slapped or in any way physically abused.

 

Sango was nervous when he didn't release her hand. He had loosened his grip enough so that she could release his hand with little or no trouble at all. She had no idea what to do.

 

`If he's holding my hand, he won't be able to grope me without being easily averted. That's the only reason I'm even considering keeping a hold on his hand.' Sango knew that she was lying to herself, but she couldn't help it. She was simply not ready to face her feelings for Miroku, let alone admit that she liked having him touching her.

 

They stood there for a moment, awkward, then Sango turned towards the camp. “We should go before they get worried.”

 

They walked in silence, until they were near enough to camp to hear Maria and Shippo talking.

 

Sango stopped and looked at Miroku. “Thank you for... helping me earlier. It really did make me feel better.”

 

“It was my pleasure, Sango. Everyone needs someone to talk to who will not judge, but will respond and maybe offer advice or understanding. It is what I needed, as well.”

 

They released the hands they were holding, and walked the rest of the way in silence.