InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Soul Therapy ❯ Chapter Nineteen ( Chapter 19 )

Title: Soul Therapy

 

Author: dolphingirl0113

 

Chapter: Nineteen

 

Rating: PG-13 (for language and, at times, sexual implications)

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

 

 

Training to be a doctor had its advantages, like the fact that Inuyasha never had to set an alarm clock, his body just automatically woke up at 4:15 am for his shift, which started at 5:45. He blinked awake slowly, moving to stretch his arms above his head but finding that difficult with a pair of arms currently wrapped around his waist, a head nestled into the crook of his shoulder, ebony hair spilling over his chest.

 

Smiling, Inuyasha gently untangled Kagome's arms, and while she cooed a little in her sleep, for the most part the slumbering woman just rolled over and curled into a tight little ball, her face scrunched up into a comical expression, contemplating whatever she was dreaming about at that moment.

 

He reluctantly stepped out of the warmth of the bed, nearly falling flat on his face as he forgot, for the first time since the accident, that he still needed the crutches to walk. But then, Kagome had a way of doing that to him; making him forget that he was handicapped, and not just as normal as anyone else.

 

Since he wasn't exactly in his house, finding the bathroom was a challenge, and at one point he hollered in surprise when he opened a door and, rather then finding tile floors, a shower, and a toilet, he was attacked by a falling broom and ironing board. But finally, after plenty of stumbling around (it shocked him that Kagome slept through the racket) he found himself climbing into a tiny shower/bathtub.

 

Turning the knob so that the water was extremely cold, Inuyasha began scrubbing his hair. He knew that usually taking cold showers was a bad sign, but for him it was the only way his body woke up enough to function at the hospital, and after doing it for the past three and a half years, he'd just gotten used to it.

 

He thought a lot while he scrubbed and rinsed his long silver hair, about Kikyou, and the woman currently sleeping in the room next door. Strangely enough, he didn't feel guilty, and that made him feel worse then anything.

 

He had slept with a woman while still technically being married to another woman. Wasn't that a bad thing? Didn't that make him one of those disgusting, perverted womanizers you always heard about on the news and who made excellent villains on soap operas?

 

But then Inuyasha thought about Kagome, and the sweet smile on her face from the night before, along with the trust in her eyes, and he knew that he hadn't done anything wrong. They had both given in to their desires, but no one could accuse them of not having tried to hold back.

 

He turned off the water and carefully made his way out of the shower, careful to hold onto the towel rack for support, having to sit down on the edge of the tub to dry off since he had no other way of supporting himself. He reached for one of the fluffy green towels, and was pleased when it smelled like Kagome.

 

He hadn't brought anything with him besides the clothes he'd worn the night before, so Inuyasha decided to wear the pants and the shirt, but leave the jacket at the apartment and pick it up later, not wanting to be made fun of too much once he joined his fellow residents at the hospital.

 

Deciding to leave Kagome a little surprise, he made his way out the door, down the stairs, and up the street two blocks to a small bakery. One of the pluses of being up so early was that everything was hot and fresh, and there was no line, so Inuyasha bought himself a mocha and two large blueberry muffins.

 

Then he made his way back to the apartment and left Kagome's breakfast on the counter before walking back into the bedroom, where she was still sleeping. Inuyasha just watched her for several minutes, a peaceful smile on his face, one he knew he'd never had watching Kikyou.

 

Was this what love really felt like?

 

Had he ever really loved Kikyou at all?

 

She had always inspired within him feelings of warmth, and she had made him happy, when he was younger. He certainly hadn't regretted having her as a girlfriend throughout high school, and at the time of their wedding he had thought himself to be the happiest man on earth.

 

But now, when he felt a wave of tenderness wash over him like a rush of warm water as he watched Kagome, angel that she was, sleeping, he doubted what he had taken for granted all those years he had been with another woman.

 

Did he really know what love was?

 

After standing in silence for another few minutes, Inuyasha finally put his thoughts to the back of his mind to go over later, when he didn't need to get to work. He bent over and pressed a chaste kiss to Kagome's forehead, and a small smile graced her lips as she murmured his name, balling her hands into fists.

 

He smiled again, sure that he would never frown now that he had her in his life and, after taking one last look at her sleeping form, scribbled a quick note, left it next to the muffin on the counter, and silently walked out the door.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

There was a slight bounce in her step and an unusually bright smile on her face as Kagome walked into the clinic that morning. Her eyes were shining with a unique brilliance, and her cheeks were rosy with joy.

 

Sango took one look at her friend and dropped the bottle of gel she was about to put in the heater.

 

“Oh my god, you slept with him,” she stated simply, as though there were no question, and Kagome stopped, the red on her cheeks turning into a real blush.

 

“Um, why do you say that?”

 

Sango rolled her eyes. “Well let's see, you went out with him last night to one of the fanciest restaurants in all of Tokyo, stayed out until who knows how late, and this morning you come walking in here as though it weren't raining, and the whole world was accented by rainbows.” She raised her eyebrows to accent her point. “You tell me Kagome, what ever would give me that idea?”

 

Kagome blushed again and looked at the ground, twisting her hands at her waist. “Okay, so, um, maybe I did, um, sleep with him.”

 

“I knew it!” Sango jumped to her friend's side, completely forgetting about the gel bottle on the ground. “So, tell me all about it.”

 

“Sango! That's kind of private!”

 

“No, you idiot, I don't want to know about THAT. I just want to know what it was like on your date, what you guys talked about, and if you decided anything as far as your relationship.”

 

“I think it's pretty obvious we've decided one thing in our relationship,” Kagome replied softly, recalling the night before and smiling again like an idiot. Sango just threw her hands in the air just as Miroku made his appearance, dramatically slipping on the gel bottle and having to grab the wall for support.

 

“You're hopeless.”

 

“Who is?” Sango turned to see Miroku pulling himself up the wall, surprise on her face, and Kagome just smiled. As though he hadn't made an obvious enough entrance.

 

“Kagome,” she replied simply, and the man turned his eyes on the subject in question.

 

“Why are you hopeless, Kagome?”

 

“No reason,” Kagome replied, sending Sango a meaningful glance that said `tell him and you die'. But her friend seemed to be ignoring her, because Sango plowed right ahead anyway.

 

“Please,” she replied, turning back to Miroku. “She and Inuyasha finally made some progress in their relationship last night, but she won't tell me a thing about what happened.”

 

Miroku raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. “What kind of progress?”

 

“They slept together.”

 

“Sango!” Kagome didn't think her face could get any redder, but she was proven wrong when Miroku sent her one of his innocent lecherous smirks and rubbed his hands together.

 

“Well, well, our little Kagome is growing up!”

 

“Just stop it you guys,” Kagome replied, walking quickly past them and shaking her head. Friends were nice, until they started prying into your life.

 

She had brought with her some leftovers from dinner the night before to eat for breakfast, and Kagome couldn't help but smile in memory as she put the two remaining beef mignonettes, along with mashed potatoes, in the microwave. It was certainly an interesting meal to start off the day, but she was in an interesting mood.

 

The microwave beeped, and just as Kagome was pulling her food out to put on a plate, the door burst open and Kouga and Ayame appeared, their eyes wide with excitement.

 

“You slept with him?” the redhead burst out. “When were you going to tell us? This is so exciting!”

 

Kagome glanced over their shoulders to see Sango and Miroku behind them, guilty expressions on their faces. They shrugged when she glared at them and quickly disappeared to do some kind of work before the clinic opened.

 

“I don't see what the big deal is,” Kagome replied, trying to sound casual. Honestly, the more her friends dwelled on the subject, the more unhappy she became about the whole thing. She was beginning to feel like she had done something wrong.

 

“Please Kagome,” Kouga decided to add his opinion, “You slept with a married guy who happens to also be one of your patients. This is a big deal, in a fun way.”

 

Something sank in her gut, and Kagome suddenly wanted to hide in shame. She knew Kouga hadn't meant to make her feel lowly, but he had, by showing her all the reasons why she should have said no the night before, or better yet, never have gone out with Inuyasha in the first place.

 

What was I thinking? She thought to herself, her eyes suddenly downcast. He's still a married man! And there are rules in this clinic about dating patients.

 

“Kagome?” Ayame looked concerned as she walked over and put a hand on her friend's shoulder, sending an accusing glare in Kouga's direction. “Kagome, are you alright?”

 

She shook her head, suddenly near tears, her bright and cheerful mood having completely vanished. Her breakfast was now looking more like something evil. “I, I didn't mean to do anything wrong,” she whispered.

 

“Of course you didn't,” Ayame replied, glaring at Kouga again. He opened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, silently asking what he had said, and his girlfriend just shook her head in exasperation as she returned her attention to the teary-eyed woman in her arms at that moment. “And Kouga didn't mean what he just said.”

 

“Yes he did, and he's right,” Kagome replied, sniffling and trying desperately to hold back her tears. “I mean, Inuyasha is still married to my cousin, for god's sake! What does that make me? A slut?”

 

“No!” Ayame was panicking, and knew the only person who could calm down Kagome now was Sango. She glanced meaningfully at the door before looking at Kouga again, and he seemed to understand, because he left, returning a few minutes later with Sango, who immediately went to her friend's side.

 

“Kag, what's wrong now? Does it bother you that much that I told Miroku, and then he told Kouga and Ayame? We're your friends, it's not like we're going to make fun of you or anything, we just care about you, that's all.”

 

“It's not that, Sango.”

 

“Then what the hell is wrong? You just got to spend a wonderful evening with a guy you're in love with, right?”

 

“Well-”

 

“Right?”

 

“Yes,” Kagome said it almost like it was a bad thing.

 

“So stop complaining.”

 

“But he's married, Sango, to my cousin of all people! And he's one of my patients! And my boss's brother!” Her eyes opened wide at that last realization before her shoulders slumped again. “I'm dead.”

 

Sango rolled her eyes and moved Ayame out of the way, giving Kagome a hug before helping her sit down on one of the chairs surrounding the table. “Kagome, stop it, you have nothing to feel sorry for, or to regret. Inuyasha loves you, you know that, right?”

 

“I, um, I think so.”

 

“Well he does, so you don't have to worry about that. And as for him being your patient, and Sesshoumaru's brother, we can get past that. It's not like people intentionally fall in love. Besides,” her eyes glinted slightly with mischief, “It's not like our handsome boss has a spotless record. As I recall, he was nearly put in prison once for marrying an eighteen year old woman who had lived in his house like a daughter for almost ten years.”

 

Kagome smiled at that, knowing it was true. But then her heart sank again as another thought occurred to her. It had less to do with Inuyasha being married, and more to do with the night before, something that had been bothering her since he'd woken up that morning and left after kissing her on the forehead and buying her muffins from a nearby deli.

 

“What if, um, I wasn't good enough?”

 

“What?”

 

“Well, Inuyasha's been married, so he's, um, done it before, but I hadn't. What if, well, I wasn't as good as Kikyou?”

 

“Kagome,” Sango sighed in annoyance, also looking a little uncomfortable. “You're worrying about something that doesn't matter. If he loves you, he'll understand. And knowing men, he's probably flattered that it was your first time.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“Yeah, guys have this thing about virgins. At least,” She glanced around to make sure someone in particular wasn't in the room, “Miroku does.”

 

Kagome giggled. “He's told you that?”

 

“Well, not in so many words, but he's hinted at it.”

 

“How so?”

 

“I don't know,” it was her turn to blush, and Kagome felt her mood lifting again, having turned the conversation away from herself. “Like, asking me if I am one and then looking happy when I said yes. I think that's a pretty good hint.” Sango stopped talking for a moment before frowning in confusion. “And how the hell did we turn this conversation on me?”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Inuyasha stood in front of the door to his home with a heavy feeling in his gut. Normally, after a long day at the medical school, the idea of relaxing on his leather recliner and watching TV was refreshing, but not today. Today he just wanted to turn around and drive back to the comfort of Kagome's apartment.

 

Leaving her at all had been hard. And now he wished more then anything he had agreed to have her with him when he asked Kikyou for a divorce. Her comforting presence was something he desperately needed at that moment as his hand reached out to turn the doorknob.

 

“Hello?” He called hesitantly into the dim hallway, wondering if Kikyou was even home yet. He hadn't seen her car in the driveway, but then, it could also just be in the garage.

 

The silence he received in response made Inuyasha feel even more like a stranger in what had once been his home. He didn't feel guilty about what he'd done, but at the same time, he did regret not having been upfront with Kikyou from the first moment he'd returned after their week long hiatus from one another.

 

In fact, why hadn't he asked her for the divorce right away?

 

The more he thought about it, the more Inuyasha realized Kagome had every right to be upset with him that evening at the coffee shop, feeling like he was leading her on. And even Kikyou, once she found out what he'd done, would probably be somewhat angry, or at least hurt.

 

Walking toward the living room, he stopped short when he saw Kikyou, dressed in one of her business suits, her nylon clad feet curled up under her body as she sat on the couch, a contemplative, almost forlorn look on her face.

 

“Kikyou,” Inuyasha swallowed, feeling very uncomfortable, “Why didn't you answer me?”

 

She looked up as though seeing him for the first time, and it was then that Inuyasha saw the pain in her eyes. But what he wasn't sure of was the cause of the pain. Was it him? Or was it something else? Like regret?

 

“Kikyou, are you alright?” He could have kicked himself for such a stupid question. Of course she wasn't alright, her husband was off sleeping with her cousin, and she was in love with someone else too. Their marriage was literally crumbling before their eyes, just like everyone had said it would.

 

“You didn't come home last night,” she finally said, her voice soft, as though it weren't obvious to both of them already.

 

“Yeah, well,” he didn't know exactly what to say, so he left it at that. After all, what, in reality, could he say? She probably had a pretty good idea of where he'd been.

 

“I'm sorry it's come to this, Inuyasha,” she said after a while.

 

“Come to what?”

 

“Us falling out of love.” She smiled forlornly, and a part of him, the part that had loved Kikyou since high school, wanted to comfort her. But he resisted. “I wouldn't have thought it was possible.

 

He smiled sadly too. “Me either.”

 

She looked up and met his gaze directly. “How did it come to this, Inuyasha? Where did we go wrong?”

 

Damn, he hated being put on the spot like that. Why did women enjoy asking such deep, probing questions? How the hell should he know why things didn't work out?

 

“I don't know, Kikyou. People fall out of love just as unexpectedly as they fall in love, I guess.”

 

“Like you're in love with Kagome.” Her voice wasn't bitter, just sad, and Inuyasha didn't know what to say to that.

 

“You can't pretend that you're jealous of her, Kikyou,” he commented finally, and she shook her head in acknowledgement.

 

“No, but I do envy the happiness I used to have with you. I never wanted us to end up like this.”

 

“And how have we ended up?” he asked, hoping maybe she would say the four words he didn't want to. At least, he didn't want to say them if it meant hurting the woman before him.

 

But she caught on to what he was doing, after all, she had known him for most of his young life, and smiled with a shake of her head.

 

“Don't do that, Inuyasha. I'm not going to make it easy on you; you have to ask for it yourself, even though we both know it's what needs to happen.”

 

“Kikyou,” his voice cracked slightly, “I never meant to, well,-”

 

“Hurt me?” He nodded, and she smiled, this time more genuine. “I know that, Inuyasha. And I guess that's what makes all of this easier for me to handle. Besides,” she untucked her feet and planted them on the floor, resting her hands on the cushions of the couch, “It's not like I've handled this situation perfectly either.”

 

He nodded, knowing that was true. It didn't take a genius to figure out she and Naraku had had excursions of their own.

 

“Well then,” he commented, and she looked away.

 

“Well then,” she replied.

 

“Kikyou,” he sucked in a deep breath for courage, “I want a divorce.”

 

She nodded her head in acceptance. “I know Inuyasha, I do to.” She stood up and put her arms around him tenderly. “But I'll never stop caring about you, as long as I live.”

 

With her arms around him, her hair tickling his nose, for a brief instant Inuyasha wondered if it was really worth it, if he really wanted to leave this woman who had been so wonderful to him for so long. But then he thought of Kagome's beautiful, smiling face, and her shining eyes, full of trust like the night before when she had offered herself to him freely, and he knew what he had to do.

 

Pulling out of her embrace gently, Inuyasha nodded and turned around to head back toward the door, not quite sure where he would go once he left, but knowing he had to leave.

 

“Good bye, Kikyou,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, and kissed her chastely once on the forehead, feeling her skin quiver lightly under his touch. Then he turned and walked toward the door, turning the doorknob again and feeling the sun touch his face.

 

“Good bye, Inuyasha,” he heard her reply just as he closed the door, knowing he had just closed the door on one part of his life for good. And surprisingly, it actually felt good, knowing they were both free to do as they pleased, with no hard feelings.

 

But then, he also knew nothing was final until the official papers were signed, so until then, he would just go and tell Kagome the good news, and maybe ask if he could sleep over at her apartment, since, and he blushed at the thought, he was currently homeless.