InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Split Decision ❯ Split Decision ( Prologue )

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inu Yasha or company. That credit belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I do own the story idea... or at least I don't remember seeing one like it.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was thinking about Inu Yasha's two halves this weekend, and I began to wonder if they agreed on which woman he should choose. From there the story just took on a life of its own. I am back in my favorite area...angsty romance although there is a little bit of humor to be found as well, and I hope you like it. Oh yeah, this is rated PG-13 for some mild language. Please read and enjoy. = P

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Split Decision

BY: Jewels Light

The final battle with Naraku was over. It had been a long and difficult struggle, but they had won. Now they were all sprawled around the battlefield, too exhausted to move. No one had escaped unscathed from the fight, and their wounds varied in degree. Sango's abdominal wound was the worst, a long jagged slash that ran from just under her rib cage in a diagonal line to her hip. Kagome's left arm was broken, and the monk had fashioned a makeshift sling for her. Shippo had a huge lump on the back of his head that seemed to pulse with the beat of his heart. The others were bruised and battered, but they were alive.

Inu Yasha was covered in scrapes, bruises and blood which was not only his but belonged to friends and enemies alike. He looked at his companions and sighed. They had all made it. That was a huge weight off of his mind, yet his heart was still heavy. Now that it was finished, and the jewel completed, he had a decision to make. He had been putting this off for months, not wanting to think about how torn his heart and mind actually were. Sometimes he could actually hear the two halves of his soul arguing about the path that they should take. Kikyo or Kagome? Life or Death? Human or Demon? Love of the past or present? These questions circled in his mind constantly, and he was no closer to finding the answers. Occasionally the voices were so loud he was afraid that they might shatter his skull.

His ears twitched toward the soft scrape of gravel and the muted curse that signaled that someone was getting up. Inu Yasha looked up, relieved that he could think about something other than his dilemma for a little while. His heart sank when he saw who it was, not only due to the pain that she was in, but because he knew what was coming next. Her pained gasp when her sling moved too far had him getting to his feet to help her. She waved him off with a weary smile and a shake of her head. She slowly walked over and then just stood there looking down at him sadly.

He still didn't know what he was supposed to do. He wanted to talk about this with his best friend, and yet that was the one person with whom he couldn't broach this subject. Kagome would be hurt, as she always was when Kikyo was the topic of the discussion. Speaking of Kikyo, he could sense and smell her behind him. When Kagome's eyes flickered over his shoulder, it confirmed what he had known. Kagome's eyes narrowed and her lips thinned slightly, before she returned her gaze to the hanyou.

"It's finally over Inu Yasha." She said softly. He nodded, but couldn't make himself say anything. He had to make a decision, but how could he? Either way he was going to lose, and he didn't know if he could take the heartache. It wasn't fair to prolong this any more than he already had, but he was so torn. What was he going to do? Kikyo or Kagome? Life or Death? Past or present? The voices in his head were beginning to scream once again. He was a little surprised that none of the others could hear them, they were so damned loud. Inu Yasha winced in pain. "Are you okay?" He looked up into the concerned eyes of his first friend, and he felt lost. What was he going to do? How could he live without her but how could he break his promise to Kikyo? Kagome saw the indecision reflected in those golden depths and smiled at him, hoping to provide some comfort. She wished that she could do this for him, but it was his choice. He smirked at her in return.

"Feh, I'm fine. You worry too much. I..." a strangled scream was wrenched from him as he clutched his head. Kagome took a startled step back as she saw a gray mist begin to envelop the hanyou. What was going on? Then she dropped to her knees at his side, ignoring the pain that flared in her arm as it jounced against her side. She reached out to him with her good hand, but she couldn't penetrate the mist that surrounded him. Inu Yasha was still screaming, however it now sounded muffled, as if coming from far away. Kagome began to sob in confusion and frustration. She called out his name, over and over again, but he either didn't or couldn't answer.

"Kagome? What is happening?" When she didn't answer him, Miroku slowly got to his feet. He left Sango propped against a boulder with the kitsune slumbering at her side. He made his way to where his friend was kneeling in the dirt, and then felt as if the bottom had dropped out of the world. Where the hanyou had been just moments before there was a pocket of gray light. Nothing could be seen within, although he thought that he could hear faint screams. After all that they had been through, this just seemed so wrong. Why did Kagome have to face such things all the time? He put his arm around her in a friendly gesture as she continued to weep. Kikyo crept forward to watch the spectacle, curious but still icily quiet.

Inside the cocoon, Inu Yasha could hear Kagome's dim cries but he could not answer her, the pain was too intense. He could do nothing but scream in wordless agony. The pain was worse than any he had felt, and it was just getting worse. He felt as if he were being torn apart from the inside out. There was also a strange draining sensation that he couldn't place or understand. After what seemed like an eternity although it was probably only a few moments, the pain began to subside. The sounds of Kagome's crying penetrated the haze of pain that remained and he opened his eyes.

He seemed to be looking at Kikyo and Kagome at the same time, but that was impossible since they weren't standing close to each other. The monk was at Kagome's side, his expression one of bemused shock. He then turned his attention to something behind Inu Yasha, and he unintentionally tensed up even as his jaw dropped. Kagome just continued to sob. Inu Yasha reached out a hand to brush away the tears, and was surprised to see that his claws seemed longer and sharper. Meanwhile, he also saw Kikyo standing over him, watching him with something that he could only call awe. He reached out to take her hand, and noticed that his hand had no claws at all. It looked human. Inu Yasha jumped to his feet and spun to confront the threat behind him... but was unprepared for the sight that greeted him. Him! A fully human him. He blinked several times, but the human did not disappear.

"What the hell is going on?" He growled. His human half leapt in front of Kikyo protectively. A small hand fell on his arm, and he looked down into Kagome's concerned face. "Kagome, what happened?"

"I... I don't know." She whispered.

"I believe that because your heart and mind were so split by indecision, that your body just followed their lead and broke into the two halves of your soul." Miroku said quietly. Both Inu Yashas turned to stare at him as if he were insane.

"I don't have trouble making decisions you pervert!" the demon roared.

"Is that so? Then you have decided which woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, I suppose?"

"Of course I have....Kagome"

"Kikyo." The two halves stared at one another in shock. The demon tried to understand why his counterpart would choose the undead miko. His own decision had been based on the fact that Kagome had stood by him no matter what form he had taken. Even when he had taken on the demon aspect of his nature, without the conscience that this split seemed to have left him with, she had remained by his side. She had calmed his fears and soothed his raging emotions. She hadn't been afraid of him and she still continued to love and trust him even after seeing the monster that he could be. That had made him love her more than he already had. In light of that, how could his human half choose anyone else?

The human Inu Yasha was surprised by the demon's answer. True, half of him had to love her, otherwise there would have been no indecision, but it still amazed him what half it was. He had expected his demon half to choose neither of the women, after all they were just humans... more or less. It hadn't occurred to him that his demon half would want one of them. He had expected that it would be more like Sesshomaru. But then again, his father had been the Great Demon of the Western Lands, and he had loved a human. Inu Yasha's own mother.

"Yes, I see that you have no trouble at all making a decision." Miroku replied as he rolled his eyes. The pair of Inu Yashas ignored him as they glared at each other. "But luckily, it seems that the decision was made for you. Be with the one you want, it seems that for once fate has been kind." With that said, he returned to the exterminator and the kitsune who had woken up and was looking at the situation in front of him blearily.

"I must have gotten hit harder than I thought Miroku. I am seeing double..." The monk smiled at the kitsune but shook his head.

"No, there are two of them."

"Two Inu Yashas? My head is lumpy enough with just one!" Shippo whimpered. He curled into a ball and soon lapsed into sleep again. Miroku snickered but had to agree that double the Inu Yasha might be a little too much for anyone. He was still puzzled by the fact that Inu Yasha's demon form seemed almost civil. Well, as civil as Inu Yasha ever got anyway. He was too tired to continue thinking about it though, and soon he drifted off to sleep as well, his head resting on top of Sango's.

"Kagome, could you live with me like this?" The demon asked her. His voice was soft and she could hear the worry in it. She looked up at him, turning her head from side to side. His face seemed a little colder, the stripes were new and the scarlet eyes with the flame blue pupils would take some getting used to, but the person she saw in those depths was still her Inu Yasha. His appearance had changed, but he hadn't. He wanted her and only her. She felt her heart warm and expand, but she had to know the reason behind this choice.

"Inu Yasha, do you love me?" she asked softly. She was almost afraid to hear the answer. What if he just felt that he had to protect her?

"More than I can say, Kagome." Her brilliant smile lit up her face and made his spirit soar.

"Then yes, I could live with you like this. I could live with you in any form, as long as you love me."

"Are you sure?" She nodded. With a low growl of pleasure, he pulled her into his warm embrace, careful not to jar her broken arm. "Very well. You, human idiot, do what you want... go to hell, live with your dirt clump... I don't care. But when you realize your mistake, don't think that there is any way to go back. Kagome is mine."

His human half nodded and walked over to Kagome. He seemed happy in his human form for the first time. She smiled at him warmly. He took her from the demon's arms and hugged her gently. She kissed his cheek and then returned to her love's embrace.

"Thank you for being my friend Kagome. You changed me for the better, and I will always remember you for that. But this is what I have to do. I promised her, and she is alone. If things had been different... if she had never come back...."

"Its okay Inu Yasha. I understand. I always did. Be happy." He nodded and returned to Kikyo's side. She hadn't said anything throughout the entire exchange, and still didn't although the look of disgust she shot at her reincarnation and her demon lover spoke volumes. How could anyone want to be with a demon? It never occurred to her that the human Inu Yasha had basically just made that same decision when he had chosen her. They began to walk away. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. The demon at Kagome's side wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Well, with his weak nose he won't be able to smell the dirt as much anyway." He grimaced. "You smell much better." He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply.

"Thanks a lot. I am glad to know that I smell better than a dead woman..." She glared at him for a moment, but couldn't stop her smile.

"You know damn well what I meant, wench, but..." He suddenly fell to his knees with a moan. Kagome looked up and saw that his human equivalent was also on the ground. She felt a cold chill work its way up her spine.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like I am being stretched...pulled apart. Its hard to breathe." He panted. His breathing was labored and he looked pale. Stretched? Kagome thought. Her eyes widened in surprise and then quickly darkened with worry. She was afraid that she knew what the problem was and what it might mean to her newly found happiness. Damn!

"Come with me, I think that I know how to fix this." She helped him to his feet and they began walking toward his human self. The closer they got, the better his breathing became. That's what I was afraid of. Am I supposed to never be happy? Her heart sank into a well of despair. Inu Yasha's human counterpart got to his feet and turned to face them. His violet eyes were filled with confusion and fear.

"Kagome..." Her demon love said softly. The moment that she looked at him she saw that he had come to the same conclusion that she had. It was their soul. It hadn't split equally between the two, it had just temporarily separated. That was why his demon self was the way it was, he still had his hanyou soul. If his two halves put too much distance between them, it would break and one or both could both die. They had to become one person again, so this happy solution wouldn't work. It seemed that a decision had to be made after all.

"I know Inu Yasha. I know. We have to explain it to them." She replied, and bowed her head. He nodded and pulled her into his arms again. Once he explained what the problem was, the argument erupted almost immediately. Kagome watched silently, tears standing in her eyes.

"Well, what are we supposed to do now?" The human Inu Yasha asked petulantly.

"Idiot. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with that cold, soul stealing witch, when Kagome is here?"

"How dare you speak of her that way? We made a promise... fifty years ago and much more recently, or have you forgotten?"

"Feh. What do I care for your promises?" The demon growled. He looked down at Kagome, who was still at his side. "I care about life...mine, hers.. and those of our friends and future children. That thing at your side has no life in it, with the exception of the souls that it stole."

"Are you blind? This is the woman that we love!" He stared into Kikyo's eyes and smiled gently. "She was the first to accept us..."

"Damn you, she never accepted us. And I don't love her, I love Kagome. I am not sure that you love her either. You are in love with a memory of love." Scarlet eyes burned with fury and aggravation as he looked at Kagome. "Was I always this stupid and hard-headed?" She giggled and nodded. "Hmph... well, that's gotta change."

"What do you mean that she never accepted us? Is your memory broken or when we split, didn't you get them?"

"Idiot. She accepted you for what you were going to become, not what you were. She wanted you only as you appear this instant."

"So what is the problem with that?"

"The problem is that Kagome did accept us, for all of who you were...human, hanyou or demon. Now you just want to turn your back on her?"

"You want me to turn my back on what was supposed to have been, how things should have been had Naraku not come into the picture."

"What was 'supposed to have been' as you put it, ended the moment that you were pinned to a tree fifty years ago. That was the end of that life. When Kagome woke you up, your new life began." He turned away and once again muttered. "Idiot."

"Would you stop calling me that?"

"Does it hit too close to home? I'll stop calling you that when you stop proving it to be true. How can you throw away the present and the future for the past? For something that amounts to nothing more than memories, guilt, and obligation? That is not love."

"Why don't we just go? What does it matter if the demon dies? It would just be one less demon in the world to worry about." Kikyo asked the human Inu Yasha coldly. Three pairs of eyes widened in amazement.

"It could kill both of them. Don't you care that you would be killing part or all of Inu Yasha?" Kagome asked, disbelief thick in her voice.

"Why should I? This is the Inu Yasha I was promised. Why should I want him to go back to that hanyou form or take that form that you seem to like so much?" Kikyo sneered. She began to tug the human half away again. He looked over his shoulder at the couple standing there. Kagome gave the demon a tight squeeze and then stepped away from his side.

"I won't allow it. Inu Yasha, return to your hanyou form. I will give you the jewel and you can become human. I will step out of the picture. I will go home and then there won't be any further indecision."

"Kagome..." Each half spoke at once, their voice blending into one, but she stopped them with a shaking hand.

"Its the way that it should be. I was never meant to be here in the first place. The fact that I fell in love with you changes nothing..."

"I don't want to be with her." The demon half said softly as he pulled her close. He felt her heart racing and smelled her tears. He buried his nose in her hair. "And it changed everything...it changed me."

"Part of you does want to be with her, and she is from your time. I love you Inu Yasha, but I can't watch you be torn apart. It feels like it is happening to me too. I can't put my happiness in front of yours especially when it means your life. Please..." the last word was whispered brokenly.

"I love you." He said as he leaned down and kissed her gently. He tasted her tears.

"And I you. Now please do this before I can't let you go."

"I won't forget you. We will be together...someday, I promise."

"I won't forget either." There were tears in his human eyes as he watched her. This girl was giving up her happiness for him...again. Kagome wanted what was best for him, no matter how much pain or grief that it caused her. She was the most amazingly unselfish person that he had ever met, and he thanked the heavens for the fact that he had been given the chance to know her, to love her. He looked at the woman that he was to be with and shivered. Her eyes were so icy and her face was as still as a statue. Had she really told him that he should let his demon half die? But wasn't that what he would be doing when he became human for her? For the first time, he wondered just how much of himself he was going to lose when he gave up his demon half.

When Kagome saw the change begin, she had asked Kirara if she would give her a ride back to the well. The fire cat had agreed. Then Kagome had told Miroku and Sango of her decision, and why it had to be this way. They seemed sad but understood. Shippo had been the hardest. He had clung to her and cried. She explained that the others would take care of him now, but she felt like she was abandoning him. She removed the tie from her uniform and tied it on his tail so that he would have something of hers. Finally she had handed still sobbing kitsune to the monk and returned to stand in front of the cocoon to wait for Inu Yasha's hanyou form to reappear.

The cocoon of gray light began to form around the pair, but this time there were no screams or pain. The was just a sense of warmth and coming home. The draining sensation was replaced with one of being filled and he realized that it was his soul joining together. The feelings ended and he opened his eyes slowly, to see both women standing in front of him with two very different expressions. He was in his original form, complete with silver hair, golden eyes and dog ears twitching madly on top of his head.

Kikyo was waiting patiently. She didn't care what the others felt. She was finally getting what she felt that she deserved, what she had been denied fifty years ago. Inu Yasha saw the distaste for his form flash through her eyes. Why hadn't he ever noticed that reaction before? Because you are an idiot. his demon blood seemed to reply with a sneer. When he was human, would that voice still be there? He had a feeling the answer to that was no.

When Kagome looked into his amber eyes, her breath caught in her throat. This was the form that she loved the best, no matter how much he detested it. This was the man that she had fallen in love with, his other forms were just parts of him. With a deep, shuddery breath, she stepped toward him and pulled the completed jewel from around her neck. She gently pressed it into his palm and then grabbed him in a tight hug. She felt his arms slip around her and return the embrace. She could have sworn she heard the word Someday whispered in the wind. Finally she stepped back and smiled at him weakly.

"Good bye Inu Yasha. Please be happy. I will think of you often and love you always." With a quick kiss and those final words, she jumped onto Kirara's back and they flew off toward the village. She heard a ragged sob and Shippo screaming her name but she didn't look back. If she did, she knew that she would never be able to leave. They landed by Kaede's hut and Kagome thanked the fire cat for the ride. With a quick hug, she sent her off to return to the others. Kagome entered the hut and sat on the floor in front of the elderly miko. As she explained situation to the older woman, the dam of her emotions broke and she sobbed until it left her weak and breathless.

"You are stronger than anyone knows, Kagome. You will be missed." Kaede said with a sad smile.

"Thank you. I will miss you too... all of you. But I really do have to go now..." She rushed out of the hut and began the familiar walk to the well. Everything seemed so much brighter, the sounds of the forest so much clearer. It was almost as if it were saying goodbye to her as well. Kagome took a little detour to the God Tree. She reached up and touched the spot where she had found the love of her life. She knew that there would never be another to take his place in her heart. "Good bye Inu Yasha. I love you."

"And just where do you think you're going, wench?"

"Inu Yasha?" she gasped. She spun around to find him behind her, still in his hanyou form. His golden eyes sparkled at her, glowing with a deep warmth that she almost couldn't bear. Her heart clenched in her chest. "Please, don't make this harder. I can't take any more pain. Please just go...be with her..." Those words seemed to choke her, and more tears began to fall as she leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes.

"I told you, I don't want to be with her."

"Part of you does."

"No, he changed his mind...I mean I changed my mind... or something like that."

"I don't understand. Your human half..."

"Is an idiot. I am an idiot." Inu Yasha growled. "It hit him...me...us...ugh, this is driving me insane." Kagome smiled and shook her head but still didn't open her eyes. "Anyway, I guess what my demon half said finally got through and he realized that the demon was right." At that Kagome's eyes flew wide.

"About what?"

"All of it. That that part of my life was over and had been for fifty years. It was just so hard to give it up, knowing how it had ended. That my new life began the moment that I opened my eyes to find you there in front of me. But mostly I think that it was your sacrificing your happiness for me again and Kikyo's remark that really made him see the mistake that he was about to make. You love me... all of me, while she only wanted the part that would give her a 'normal' life."

"Does she know about this? Did you tell her?"

"Yeah." He suddenly looked at the ground and scuffed his feet in the dirt. "Well, not exactly, but she probably figured it out when I fell to my knees when you left. And if that didn't convince the dirt clump..." He looked shocked and then slightly amused that those words had come out of his mouth, but then he smirked at her. "...then my wish on the jewel for her eternal rest probably did the trick." Kagome reached out to him, only wanting to give comfort, but when he wrapped her in his warm embrace, she didn't protest. "You made them...us...er...me..." he huffed in agitation. "When you left, I felt the same way I had when my two halves tried to walk away from each other. I couldn't breathe. I need you Kagome, I can't live without you. You are the third part of my soul...my soul mate. Please don't leave me. I love you." His heart was racing under her cheek and she felt warm droplets fall into her hair. He was crying... for her?

"Oh Inu Yasha, I am not going anywhere, as long as you need me... and love me."

"Then you better be prepared for a long stay, because forever is a really long time." He whispered in her ear as he leaned down to seal the promise in his words to his one and only love.