InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Stealing Heaven ❯ Mourning Rites ( Chapter 21 )

Chapter Twenty-One

Mourning Rites

Sitting on the floor of the shower stall Kagome reached a finger into the Tupperware bowl, stirring the fresh, moist-air-dampened herbs. Pulling her arm back, she held her hand beneath the spray of the water, watching in a detached way as the pulsing stream pattered away what bits had clung to her skin.

With a sigh she let her head fall back against the wall. After that memorable- in more ways than one- elevator ride, she'd called Sango to come pick her up and they'd found their way to an apothecary shop. Though she'd shared what Myoga had told her, as well as her instructions, she'd kept her word to herself and not broken down on Sango's shoulder. She'd also not been able to bring herself to speak on her most recent visit from Nah Rah Ku because she didn't feel she'd be able to avoid sharing those last awkward few minutes, as well, and she didn't think she could bare the look of disbelief that would come into her friend's eyes at the thought that the demon had tried to comfort her.

No, Sango would have said, he's just playing with your emotions to keep you right where he wants you. Unfortunately, Kagome couldn't fully disagree with that notion, either. Perhaps that was all it had been . . . it didn't matter if he had helped her, it had been what she'd needed in that moment and that was how she needed to treat it, as a moment that had already come and gone. She was still left with the demon and she still needed to be rid of him.

She frowned darkly when her heart gave an odd little twitch at that thought. Shaking her head, she reminded herself that the professor needed to be safe, and he never would be so long as The Thief still lurked somewhere within him. That amendment made the idea sit better- thinking of Professor Taisho always made her feel better, always helped to put her increasingly unique situation into perspective. The demon was evil and manipulative and if not for him hijacking part of Professor Taisho's being she wouldn't be in this mess at all.

Giving a firm nod, she pushed up to stand and turned off the water, scooping up her bowl and stepping out of the stall to begin drying herself off.

* * *

"Hey," Sango said with a tired grin as Kagome came back into their dorm room and closed the door behind her. "Ready for your nifty sleepy-time meditation?"

Kagome gave a short, slightly self-deprecating laugh as she unwound the towel from her hair and draped it over the radiator to dry. "Ready as I'll ever be for something I've never tried before."

"Well, I'm exhausted, so you won't hear a disturbing peep out of me. Night, Kags."

Kagome could only roll her eyes, "Still with that. Night, Sans."

Giving a nod Sango waited for Kagome to light the candles she'd bought, as per her list of instructions, and then switched off her bedside lamp before turning onto her side to face the far wall. "Promise me one thing, Kags."

"Hmm?"

"If this whole 'Lyka will make her presence known' happens by way of her trying to possess . . . oh say, me, don't let her do anything stupid while she's playing house with my body, okay?"

Kagome groaned, letting her head fall back to stare daggers at the ceiling as she took off her robe and sat cross-legged on her bed. "I so don't want to think about something like that, but yes, you have my word."

By the flickering light of the candles she could make out Sango's dark head nodding against her pillow. This was shortly followed by the sound of soft, possibly borderline unfeminine snoring. Blue eyes narrowed to slits for the barest second- she'd always envied that Sango was one of those people that could fall asleep the moment their head hit the pillow. She also really didn't want to think on the possibility that Lyka might just try something like that.

The last thing she needed right now would be for something to compromise her lone confidant. Giving her head another shake- it seemed like so many things that could go wrong were her last thing she needed, but it wasn't until an idea was presented to her that she realized how very much worse her situation could be with the alteration of a some previously unconsidered aspect.

When Kagome came out of her mediation half an hour later she felt markedly better. Nothing had really changed, but the simple knowledge that she could sleep safely made all of the difference in the world. As she blew out the candles and snuggled under her blanket, she looked once more to her slumbering friend.

As sleep began to steal over her, she felt herself distantly wishing that her troubles were only the ones she'd been able to confide in Sango. When she'd stopped home that night she hadn't been able to face her grandfather, nor even look her mother in the eye- which, rather unfortunately, had led Mrs. Higurashi to wondering aloud if her daughter had fibbed about having a date. This playful observation, so light and flippant and carefree, had only served to bring Kagome to the verge of tears all over again.

* * *

"Now, I think what you will find most interesting about this particular culture is that . . ." Professor Taisho let his voice trail off as a knock sounded at the door. Frowning lightly, he held up a finger to the class. "One moment."

He stepped over to open the door, immediately beginning a hushed, rapid conversation with whomever was standing there- Kagome didn't doubt that whatever was being said had begun with the professor verbally tearing the person a new one for interrupting his lesson- but he went oddly silent for a moment. There was something deeply upsetting to her in the way his shoulders suddenly fell, sagging as he leaned against the doorjamb for a moment and then almost instantly pulling himself upright again.

Turning his head slowly, those amber eyes landed squarely on Kagome as he said in that low voice that she'd heard from him only twice before, "Higurashi, pack your things . . . you're needed at home."

She felt a shock of cold wash through her. She'd been expecting this, she'd been dreading this . . . but even days of preparing herself had not equipped her to face it. Nodding slowly, she offered Sango- whom she knew was watching her curiously- a faint shrug, pretending as well as she could that she wasn't certain what this could be about, as she stowed her papers and pen into her backpack and hoisted it over her shoulder to stand.

Her legs were numb and rubbery as she forced them into motion to bring her to the door. One of the secretaries she recognized from the administration office stood before Professor Taisho with a sympathetic look on her face that Kagome dearly wished she didn't have to see right now.

"If you'll come with me, Ms. Higurashi," the woman was already saying, turning on a heel and speaking over her shoulder as she began walking, "I'll help you fill out some forms so that you can complete your assignments for the week from home. We need to let your other professors know, as well."

"I . . . I don't understand," Kagome managed to say weakly.

The secretary glanced at her briefly and then at Professor Taisho, who only waved dismissively at her. "Give us just a moment, she'll catch up."

Giving a nod of understanding, she started walking again, trying to be subtle about not wanting to intrude on the news the girl was about to receive.

"I'm so sorry, Higurashi," he began, his voice so low that even standing right in front of him, Kagome had to strain to hear him, though she understood this was because of how quiet the corridor was at the moment, he didn't want to chance being over heard, "it's your grandfather."

Despite her foreknowledge of this moment, hearing the words felt like she'd been struck, jarring the air from her lungs. She tried to collect herself instantly, drawing in a deep, shaky breath.

After a long moment of simply watching her, Professor Taisho offered in that same low, barely audible ribbon of sound, "Would you like me to go with you?"

Immediately her eyes snapped up to meet his. She wanted to say yes, wanted to let him put his arm around her and hold her up, wanted to lean against him and cry into the hollow of his shoulder until every ounce of moisture had been wrung from her body.

Instead, she said what was needed. "I would like that," she whispered, vaguely surprised she could speak at all, "but it wouldn't be appropriate. It . . . wouldn't look right."

He nodded slowly. "I understand," was all he said before stepping back into the classroom and closing the door between them.

Kagome turned, forcing her legs to work for her once more- and very much against their will- as she darted through the corridor to catch up to the secretary.

* * *

"Now, I've . . . um, I've already called the Nisou's house," Mrs. Higurashi was saying, her voice trembling a bit with every word as she climbed the stairs beside Kagome, "Kikyou's grandfather will be here first thing tomorrow to begin the mourning."

Kagome nodded stiffly, opening the door to her bedroom to find that her mother had already laid out the black kimono she was to wear during the twenty-four hour mourning period that would be observed as part of their funeral rites. "How did he . . ." she paused, biting down into her bottom lip for a second to still its shivering. "Was it peaceful."

Her mother's eyes were ringed in bright red and terribly bloodshot and she couldn't raise them to meet her daughter's gaze as she nodded. "I . . . I think so, he was sleeping."

"What do you need me to do, momma?"

She knew her mother would want to handle so many of the intricate details on her own, but they were such a small family . . . no cousins to help with the intricate traditions, and- though her mother might not want to ask- there was no way any one person could handle everything on their own.

"I've already started making phone calls . . . Souta already helped me prepare dad for . . . um, for the cremation so . . . we're just waiting for Mr. Nisou. Tomorrow, tomorrow people will start coming by to give their obituary offerings, so I'm going to need you to stay in the house and greet everyone and accept them."

Kagome had only seen her mother look like this once before, but then she'd been a little girl when her father had passed and hadn't quite understood how anyone as beautiful and vibrant as her mother could suddenly become so fragile and shaken. She wanted to tell her to sit down and rest, to let her children handle things, but she already knew the woman would say no.

"Is that it? Momma, there's so much that needs to be . . ." Kagome let her voice trail off as a lightly trembling finger pressed over her lips. "The Nisous understand our situation, they've agreed to help with some of the aspects." After a moment her eyes softened and she spoke clearly, if only for a few precious seconds, "Kagome, I know you want to do this all for me, that's just how you are but . . . I need to do this or I'll never forgive myself for not doing everything I can to make sure everything goes accordingly."

Kagome could only nod again, understanding somewhat. She knew that someday, when she had to deal with losing her mother, she would likely feel the same way.

Clearing her throat, she crossed the room and began rifling through her drawers- the kimono might be for tomorrow, but she was still going to respect the tradition and change into solid black clothing for the remainder of the day. "Where's Souta? How's he doing?"

"He's . . . not handling it well. He's out at the shrine," her mother quirked an unhappy brow, lowering her gaze again and muttering surprisingly calmly, "yelling at Amaterasu, when last I left him."

Despite her sadness, Kagome couldn't help the shock the forced her eyes wide as she turned from her search to stare at the woman- she couldn't comprehend anyone, let alone someone raised by a shrine priest, being so disrespectful. "He's doing what?! Next you'll tell me he was cursing our ancestors!"

"No . . . but he's a thirteen year old boy, I'm sure the spirits will understand . . . as long as he doesn't carry on too much longer."

Rolling her eyes, Kagome threw a few articles of clothing on the bed. "You go see to things, momma . . . I'm sure you still have calls to make and more preparations to get underway. I'll take care of dinner . . . and giving Souta a sound lashing when he's done with his little rampage."

"Don't be too harsh with him, Kagome," her mother said quietly, tears working their way back into her voice as she put her hand on the door knob and stepped out into the hall, "he's mourning, too. Think of what your grandfather would say."

Kagome couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her at that as she remembered the severe scolding she'd gotten once for playing in the shrine. "He'd give Souta a sound lashing himself . . . and then say that everyone mourns in their own way."

Mrs. Higurashi nodded before closing the door to allow Kagome to change.

* * *

"Thank you so much for your kindness," Kagome said for possibly the twentieth time already since Kikyou's grandfather had officially commenced the mourning period with a series of chants, songs and prayers, bowing deeply before ushering another few mourners to the door.

Once they were gone she made her way back to the draped folding table her mother had set in the living room for the purpose of collecting the obituary gifts- monetary offerings given by friends to help ease the financial burden the passing of a loved one might put on the family. Frowning to herself a little thoughtfully, she jotted the name of these most recent visitors down on a pad she'd set on the table. After a time they were expected to send mourning cards to those that had brought offerings as well as gifts for any close friends of the family that had helped and she didn't want to risk leaving anyone out.

She just had no idea her grandfather knew so many people, she wasn't certain she even recognized half of them.

"Kagome," her brother's voice called suddenly from the kitchen, giving her a start.

Sitting down at the table, she propped her up elbows and let her face fall into her hands. "What, Souta?"

He walked into living room slowly, trying not to trip over the hem of his traditional vestments. Their mother had been overzealous in compensating for his most recent growth spurt, apparently, leaving him to look nearly as though he was playing dress-up in his parent's clothing.

"Listen, about . . . about helping mom with the ashes . . . ."

Kagome lifted her face from her hands and turned to look at him. She didn't think kids could get bags under their eyes, but now that she was inspecting him closely, the poor thing appeared to have not slept a wink all night. He'd already helped their mother so much yesterday- did things Kagome didn't think she'd have made it through completing herself- that perhaps it was too much to expect him to help sort through their grandfather's ashes for any remnants of bone that hadn't burned.

She nodded slowly. "If momma needs help I can do it . . . you might have to take over accepting the gifts for me, though."

He let out an exasperated sigh, falling onto the couch and throwing an arm across his eyes. "Yeah, 'cause I'm so personable today."

"So . . . I should do both . . . run back here every now and again while I'm helping mom with that? Should I also- just to make it really special, make sure I carry the chopsticks I'll be using and one of grandpa's bones with me while I'm at it?"

Immediately she felt apologetic for the outburst, her eyes wide as Souta dropped his arm to meet her gaze. "Hey, sis, I'm sorry . . ." he gave a sniffle and wiped at his cheeks reflexively. "I know you're sad, too, I just thought . . . ya know, you worked with dead people and stuff, so maybe you could make it through that, is all."

Allowing a small sigh to slip out she pushed the chair back and came across the room to lower herself onto the cushion beside him. "There's a difference," she said quietly as he dropped his head onto her shoulder, "between dealing with people who died centuries before you were born and dealing with someone you grew up learning from and listening to, ya know? I'd try to put this all in some kind of clinical mindset, but . . . I don't think it would be any easier for me, but I'd get through it because our mother needs us."

He nodded, sniffling again and slipping his arms around his sister to hug her tightly. "I know. Um . . . Kagome?"

"Yeah, Souta?"

"I miss him already."

She gave a nod of her own, knowing her brother was about to break down and reminding herself that she couldn't- not right now when he needed her. "Me, too."

"I'm . . . ya know, a guy . . . and I'm not supposed to but . . . ."

Already she could feel him shaking and she eased his head down a bit, pressing his face lightly into the hollow of her shoulder. "It's okay, Souta, you can cry . . . I won't tell anyone."

Instantly he was sobbing loudly and Kagome could do nothing more than hold him tightly, gently swaying back and forth as she knew their mother would have. She rested her cheek against the top of his head as he cried, as he screamed against her shoulder, letting the world know how angry he was, even if she was the only one who'd hear it this time.

It seemed a long time passed before Souta quieted, and a longer time, still before he was able to pull away. Standing up, he straightened his vestments.

"I'm going back to the shrine to check on mom," he said quietly, his still-maturing voice a bit hollow.

Kagome nodded, standing as well and ignoring the giant wet spot he'd left on her shoulder. "You okay, now?"

He gave a short, utterly humorless chuckle. "Not even a little bit, but . . . you're right. Mom needs both of us so . . . I'll help her with the ashes."

She managed a grateful smile. "Thank you, Souta."

Souta shrugged, turning on a heel and starting toward the back door. "I'm the man of the house now, sis. Honestly that scares the shit out of me, but I can't let grandpa down and I can't always hide behind you, either."

Kagome watched him leave, wondering, briefly, if these weren't those moments when her little brother was growing up right before her eyes. No sooner had she resumed her seat at the offering table than the door bell was ringing again.

Holding in another sigh- she had lost count of how many she'd let slip out in just the last few hours- she stood and cross the room. Opening the door she halted entirely, feeling her heart hammer against her ribcage for the barest second.

"Hello, Higurashi," Professor Taisho said after a moment of the two staring somewhat awkwardly at one another. "Are you going to invite me in?"

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