InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Strictly Taboo ❯ A Little Unsteady ( Chapter 25 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

For the next week, the new intensity of emotions their conversation brought up lingered, although they never mentioned their promises after that. Inuyasha knew that it was on Kagome’s mind just as much as it was on his own, but they had said all they needed to say for now and there was no use going over it again. It would just make the wait that much harder and the guilt (for her, anyway, since he was long past such things) that much worse.

It was just a boring, regular Tuesday when he had dropped Kagome off at school and realized he had forgotten his briefcase back at home. He had been kind of loopy ever since she had promised to be his mate and could only hope it would not last the nearly six years he had to wait before they’d be together completely. Almost kicking open the front door in his sudden frustration, he ran smack into Kikyo, who was in the middle of putting her coat back on and heading out. Inuyasha frowned, wondering if the change in his relationship could be seen in his face.

Clearing her throat, Kikyo said, “Is Kagome still sick?”

Inuyasha stared at her with a raised brow. They both knew she had already gone through the house and found it empty. If she would just say what she wanted to say and then go wherever she went every day, they’d be good. “I just dropped her off at school,” he said, attempting to be polite.

“Good.” Kikyo slipped her coat off and began to, once again, unbutton her blouse.

Sighing in exasperation, he grabbed her wrists and stopped her before she made herself too indecent. “Stop it, Kikyo, it’s not going to happen.”

“I don’t want to die, Inuyasha!” Kikyo screamed, her cold façade cracking and nearly breaking his heart. No matter what had happened in the past, he didn’t want to see her in pain.

Taking her into his arms, he stroked her back soothingly and whispered, “Nobody wants to die.”

Her shoulders were shaking and she couldn’t control her breathing. Pulling away, he buttoned her shirt back up, stopping when she grabbed his hands.

“But I don’t have to die. You have the power to save me.”

“W-what do you mean?” he stuttered, already knowing what she was going to say and dreading it.

“Mark me,” she said in a raspy voice that suggested she had been crying before this last outburst. “Then we can live together, just you and me. Forever.”

Flinging her hands from his, he looked at her in a mixture of pity and anger. “So that’s what this was all about. It had nothing to do with Shikon. You’re more than capable of handling that yourself. You just want to live forever.”

The corners of her mouth turned down in a sneer and he was appalled at how un-Kikyo she was at the moment. “Are you going to deny me life? You are just going to sit there and watch me die, sit there and force Kagome to watch her mother die?!”

Her screamed, anguished words rang in his ears and Inuyasha flinched. “Kikyo, it’s not natural. It’s only for two people who are deeply in love.”

“But don’t you love me?” she said with a sob. “I still love you. I never stopped,” she cried. He could see the truth in her eyes and it made him feel dizzy.

“That was a long time ago,” he said gently, feeling helpless. “You left me because of my demonic blood, remember? Don’t come crawling back because of it. I’ve moved on.”

They stared at each other, and eventually Kikyo straightened and put her mask of propriety back on. “So that’s it, then? You’re sure? You’re condemning me to death.”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he nodded cautiously. “Yes. I’m sure.”

“I’m going to change your mind,” she murmured so low that he could hardly hear her, clenching her fists. “I’ll find a way. I won’t let you do this to me.”

Coughing nervously, he said, “I’m going to pretend this conversation never happened, alright? I’ve, uh, got to go to work now. I’ll tell Kagome you stopped by when I pick her up. Is there anything you want to say?” he asked, moving past her to fetch his briefcase that he could see waiting for him on the couch.

“You’ve become quite the devoted father, Inuyasha. Just what she wanted,” Kikyo said bitterly.

“Don’t like it? Well, you started it,” he said, always angry when she brought up Kagome.

“Do you want me to end it?” she asked, quiet and intense.

He glanced at her and shuddered. She seemed so much like a ghost, some vengeful spirit with her inky black hair and pale skin, that he wanted to run in childish fear. All resemblance to Kagome was gone; he couldn’t see it even when he tried. He wasn’t sure if it was her illness changing her or the time he spent with Kagome, but she seemed like a completely different person, and it was more than a little bit unsettling. Without a word or a glance, he walked out the door and rushed to work, pushing the strange moment out of his mind and concentrating on bland documents and irritating people.

Finally, it was time to pick up Kagome and he left happily, feeling like whistling. He didn’t, of course, but the feeling was enough. The drive was longer than usual due to his impatience, and when he finally got there, he pulled in front, not bothering to honk the horn since she always waited just as impatiently for him and sometimes even hopped in the car before it came to a full stop. Watching the other students wait in groups and leave in pairs, he waited and waited, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tighter with each passing minute. Trying to calm himself, he just recited a list of things she could be doing. Helping one of her teachers, making new friends, going to the bathroom. Just because she wasn’t there like she always was didn’t mean she was gone.

That word brought up memories of the last time he couldn’t find her and he began to panic. Kagome had convinced him she didn’t need a bodyguard, and her school had promised constant supervision. Inuyasha knew it was a bad idea, especially after what happened to Sango, but Kagome had been so insistent, telling him having a tag-along prevented her from making friends. She had been so upset that he finally gave in, not wanting to make her feel like he was just another Kikyo when all he wanted to do was keep her with him, to shut her away even more than her mother had. Letting her go out there on her own, even if it was just high school, and make her own decisions was one of the hardest things he had ever done, but she needed to live her life her way or else he knew she wouldn’t let him live it with her.

After fifteen minutes, he parked and forced himself not to run to the entrance, her name like a mantra in his head. He kept telling himself that she was okay, that nothing was wrong, but that didn’t stop everything from feeling so out of order, as though he was in an early surrealist movie and this was just the beginning of his nightmare. A slit eyeball was a lot less scary than a missing Kagome, and he promised himself that he would hire a guard without her knowledge as soon as he found her, even if she was completely safe and sound.

He picked up a scent that was vaguely familiar and veered toward it. Bent over a water fountain stood the brown-haired boy that had been so infatuated with Kagome. Inuyasha sneered and stood behind him, patting him on the back a little harder than necessary in order to gain his attention. The boy whipped around, confused, the look on his face melting into comical terror as soon as he saw who had approached him. Trying to compose his facial expression into one of disinterested politeness, Inuyasha cleared his throat, absently noting that his hands were shaking.

“Where is Kagome?” he asked, no preamble wasted on the detestable sweat-covered human child.

“I-I-I-I s-saw her in geometry and in the halls, b-but we don’t talk anym-more,” the boy stuttered.

Inuyasha was both pleased and frustrated that Kagome had stopped allowing the idiot to hang around her. “Do you know where any of her other friends are, then?”

The boy’s expression changed into something like pity. “Higurashi doesn’t have any friends.”

Inuyasha snorted. “Of course she has friends. Why the fuck wouldn’t she?” Who wouldn’t want to be friends with Kagome? She was perfect.

Then the pitying look was directed at him, something that made him want to run his claws down the boy’s blandly handsome face. “She came late in the school year, for one, and that’s hard even for freshmen. Then there was her overprotective guard and all her absences. Finally, she and I entered into something of a disagreement in front of nearly the entire school, and she ran off.” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I like Higurashi. A lot. But everyone thinks she’s stuck up. I get along with mostly everybody, and even though I tried to tell people what she was really like, they wouldn’t hear it. After the misunderstanding, it was like everyone’s beliefs about her were confirmed. Not even I can change their minds anymore.”

“That’s fucking bullshit,” Inuyasha growled, punching the wall next to the boy’s head, satisfied when his entire body flinched. “Kagome is… She’s…”

“Amazing,” the boy finished. “I hope you find her. I’d help look, but I’m late for volunteering at the hospital as it is. Good luck!”

Inuyasha watched the boy jog off to his shiny BMW as he leaned against the wall. So, Kagome didn’t have any friends. How had he never noticed? Come to think of it, she never really went anywhere but home and school. He had never even seen her talk to anyone but that nerd, and he had put a stop to that eventually. He had known that Sango was like an older sister, and perhaps her best friend, and maybe her only real friend, but he had always thought she’d have others around her. Others that wanted to be a part of her life but were denied entry. Did no one else see the gem that she was? Was this all his fault? He had kept her home more than a normal parent would, but there were good reasons. Shaking his head, he began to walk, trying to pick apart the various scents in the air for Kagome’s special one. He had never had any friends, and he was perfectly fine. Kagome would get over her need to socialize once it ceased to be a novelty. They didn’t need anyone but each other.

Suddenly, the salty and sweet scent that was hers drifted to him and he rushed in the direction. The scent was more or less fresh, and he laughed aloud at himself for being an idiot and thinking she had left him. Darting behind the school, he stopped. Her scent was coming from the area where they had found Sango. Kagome had been so shaken up after the incident that she told him she was having trouble even going near the back of the school building. Why would she be right where her guardian had been dumped so cruelly?

Confused, he walked to toward the dumpster that had held Sango’s battered body, stumbling over something on the way. He looked down and his eyes widened. There was a red scarf and a brown shoe, just lying there in the middle of the path right next to a broken pile of glass and plastic. He told himself not to panic. The school had a uniform. Just because Kagome’s scent led there and she was nowhere to be seen didn’t mean—

Crouching down like a dog, he grabbed the shoe and sniffed desperately, not caring if anyone would see and think him to be some sort of crazy homeless meth addict with an odd fetish. Confirming his fears, he clutched onto the shoe and scarf, his stomach aching with loss, the smashed cell phone making everything so much worse.

Kagome was gone.

Her scent was only on those things she had been wearing. It was as though she had been plucked out of thin air and magicked off to nowhere. There was no way to track her, and he couldn’t smell another person, just garbage. All sorts of thoughts ran through his head. Was she dead, killed? Was she raped and abandoned, hiding somewhere and still hurting? Was there some legitimate, non-terrifying reason she had discarded a single shoe and her scarf? Had she been kidnapped?

Falling to his knees and bowing over the articles of her clothing he held, his emotions threatened to overwhelm him and he fought for control, his inner demon seeing his current weakness as a prime opportunity to break free and rampage like it had centuries ago. His claws lengthened and he carefully ran one over her red cloth, wondering if smelling the material she wore around her neck would make it better or worse. Pressing it to his face and inhaling, he felt the blood rush and change throughout his body. It was both better and worse. He and his demon became one, no longer at war, snarling their rage and howling at the setting sun, her absence magnifying the intensity and her scent clearing his mind, giving him a purpose, something to hold on for. Inuyasha was completely in control of his inner beast for the first time ever, the murderous rage that was its only emotion now his own, and his emotions its own.

Rising to his feet, Inuyasha walked steadily back to the parking lot, looking deceptively calm. He vowed to himself that if she was unharmed after all this, she would never leave again. At least not until every threat was eliminated, and that could very well take years. A part of him was already grieving for her but not acknowledging the darkest possibilities. He sighed and collapsed in the metal sanctuary that was his car. He could do it all himself, and he would like to, but that would take far too long. He needed to bring in Myoga. Pressing call, he heard the familiar, gruff voice on the first ring.

“Kagome’s gone,” he said, shuddering from chills now that he had said it aloud.

“What do you mean, Master Inuyasha?”

“I mean she’s fucking gone, you fucking idiot!” he yelled, feeling better at the small release of tension. “Her shoe and tie were left behind the school and she’s not here. Her phone was smashed.”

“I see,” his long-time servant mumbled, sounding grave. “I’ll have a team find her, dead or alive.”

The phrase echoed in his head and he felt like screaming wordlessly, maybe destroying the school. “She’s not fucking dead,” he hissed, his throat tight. He didn’t quite believe himself.

“Of course, sir. I will update you on any progress made.”

Inuyasha hung up, flinging the phone onto the passenger seat, not wanting to even look at it without Kagome sitting there. Almost getting into several accidents along the way, he finally made it home, going to the backyard instead of straight inside. He collapsed on his back beneath the Goshinboku, staring up at the sky through its branches, most of it night with just a little day left over. He was having a hard time controlling his breathing. Memories were flitting through his head, one after another. The first time he saw her, how happy she was. Then when he really saw her, in that white dress, looking like a Christmas angel. When he first kissed her. When he first touched her. When he first took her. Her kisses when she agreed to be bonded to him and wear his mark. Inuyasha felt like screaming again, like killing something, someone.

Deciding it was time to go in, he stumbled up to his room and crawled on the bed, facedown, smelling their united scent on the sheets. To his surprise, he was fighting back tears. He felt helpless and he hated himself. Why had he been so afraid of losing her that he allowed her to have her way and actually ended up literally losing her? He should have at least gotten her another bodyguard.  Then it hit him, the whole reason why he had given her a guard in the first place.

Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it before, but the shock of her being gone was just too much at the beginning. He leapt up, clutching her red scarf, the beginnings of a roar in his throat. He would go straight to his bastard brother’s home and tear him apart piece by piece until he told him what he had done with Kagome. Then he’d kill him once and for all, ending the stupid game they had been playing for far too long. He would even take Tenseiga, not because he wanted it but because he could, because fuck Sesshomaru. He would fucking pay.

“Inuyasha?” Kikyo’s voice drifted through his door, sounding gentle, like she had been before. Inuyasha was startled. He hadn’t even heard her coming. Opening his door without permission, she came inside. “What’s wrong? Your eyes are red.”

“You’re here again?” he asked angrily, his voice scratchier and deeper than normal.

“I never left.”

“She’s gone. Kagome is gone,” he croaked, wishing they had a more normal relationship so they could be sad for their child together and look to one another for support.

“What do you mean my daughter is gone?” she asked sharply.

“He took her!” he yelled, wanting her to understand without making him say it, just like Kagome did.

“You are not making sense. Where is Kagome?” she asked with a glare.

“How can you be so fucking calm?! My brother took her just to fuck with me. I’m losing my fucking mind, and you’re just cool and collected. Fuck!” he cursed, wishing he hadn’t even told her.

“Someone has to be. Shall we call the police, then?”

“No,” he growled. “They would ruin the hunt with their laws. I will kill him and bring her back myself.”

She nodded after a long pause. “Very well, then. I leave it in your hands. Until then, we should make use of this rare chance to be alone. We haven’t had a chance to speak much lately. Some good may come of this.”

He took a step towards her, becoming angrier when she didn’t even flinch. “What the fuck are you saying? I don’t know how this still surprises me. You are not the woman you were. You only get in the way.”

Kikyo chuckled, but there was no warmth to it. “No wonder Kagome has such a crush on you with the way you’re always running to her rescue. I know your intentions are pure, but it’s cruel to lead her on like this.”

Inuyasha was tempted to tell her everything, throw the whole truth in her face, tell her how much he loved Kagome and how often. It took a great amount of will to stop himself, Kagome’s face flashing in his mind. She wouldn’t want it to be like this. He needed to find her before he did something stupid. He couldn’t be wasting his time allowing Kikyo to drag him into her evil arguments. Pushing past her, he rushed down the stairs and out the door, paying no heed to her calls for him to come back.