InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sword of Supreme Conquest ❯ Chapter 33 ( Chapter 33 )

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

 

The wind from the south blew warm across the meadow causing the grass to dance and the flowers to bow in its wake. It trailed over the body of a curiously positioned young woman, laid spread eagle and nearly hidden beneath the tall grass. Her large curious eyes stared thoughtfully up at the heavens and flickered back and forth as they followed numerous cotton ball clouds across the sky.

 

 

With a gentle sigh she folded her hands behind her head and closed her eyes, ready to take a peaceful nap in the afternoon sun. It'd been quite some time since she'd had such valuable quality time to herself. It was an excellent opportunity to collect her thoughts, but now that she was alone her mind was drawing a blank. At the moment there was only one thing, or one person rather, it wanted to focus on.

 

 

Inuyasha…where are you?

 

 

It had been months since he'd left the palace; plenty of time for them to come to terms with Kagome's death and settle into the routine of daily life. It had been time enough too for Sesshomaru to realize, if perhaps stubbornly, that he now had two sons instead of one. The changes in the palace seemed to happen so fast, but to Rin it felt like the longest few months she could remember. She found herself glancing every day at the large gates that led into the palace, hoping against hope that she would see him there but so far he hadn't shown himself. She was starting to wonder if he'd ever return.

 

 

In her heart she knew she wasn't wrong about him. She was certain that behind that pig headed stubborn exterior there was a good heart beating. In so many ways he was just like Sesshomaru. She'd never spent much time with him but already she felt like she knew him inside and out. He would return to take care for his son, she was sure of it. She'd seen the look of pride that flashed through his eyes when he'd taken their first look at Akira's face. It was that look that was bothering her now and keeping her awake at nights. What the heck was taking him so long?

 

 

“Can I join you?” A rough voice broke into her thoughts so suddenly that for a moment she thought she was still lost in a daydream. When it sounded again to call her name hesitantly, her dark eyes snapped open and fixed on him.

 

 

“Inuyasya,” she breathed his name as her eyes locked with his and her body tensed. He was staring down at her curiously, his head cocked to the side to study her. As his eyes panned down across her body she could feel her skin tingle and come alive. Her heart skipped erratically inside her chest and she was sure he could hear it. Taking in a slow breath she silently willed herself to calm down. After years of living with Sesshomaru she knew ways to control her body. It hadn't been easy to learn, but every now and then she managed to fool him though he'd never admit it of course.

 

 

“Can I join you?” he asked again, motioning to the ground beside her.

 

 

She nodded hesitantly and pushed her body into a sitting position. Pulling her knees up into her chest she laced her fingers together and rested them against her shins, effectively tucking her body into a neat little ball. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw that he'd set his sword on the ground next to him and was simply staring into the horizon in tranquil silence. His eyes were stormy and appeared to be the colour of rich bronze in the afternoon sunlight. His mind appeared to be full of thoughts that he was either unwilling or unable to speak aloud.

 

 

She wanted to ask him a million questions, where he'd been, what'd taken so long, how he was coping, how things had gone with Kagome's family, but she bit her tongue to keep from uttering a single word. Once the flood gates were opened she knew she wouldn't be able to contain herself. The last thing she wanted to do was drive him away, so she remained silent and waited for him to speak. After several moments he turned to her.

 

 

“You look well,” he said simply.

 

 

Rin felt her cheeks blush a delicate shade of pink as she nodded her head in thanks. The next words to leave the hanyou's lips made her heart soar and her chest expand with unbridled emotion. She wanted to do a jig as she rejoiced in the knowledge that she hadn't been wrong about him.

 

 

“How is he?”

 

 

A broad smile brightened her face as she instinctively knew which `he' Inuyasha was referring to. “He's doing great! You'd be so proud of him! When he looks at you…his eyes they're just so bright. It's like he's thinking already about all the things he's going to say to us when he finally starts talking. He's just adorable. All the girls in the palace `ooo' and `ahhh' over him already. He's going to be such a heartbreaker! Poor Ronin though, I think he's getting jealous of all the attention but I've been making sure to spend extra time with him so he doesn't feel left out. And then Sesshomaru…”

 

 

Realizing she was babbling, Rin hastily closed her mouth and glanced sheepishly at the hanyou next to her. To her surprise his ears weren't flattened to his head in annoyance. He was watching her intently, his eyes never wavering from hers. Suddenly feeling incredibly nervous, she glanced away and picked at some grass next to her.

 

 

“Sorry…I ah, um, I ramble a lot wh-when I…” Closing her eyes she winced at her verbal diarrhoea. Smooth. She wanted to beat her forehead against her knees in frustration. For months she'd been waiting for him to return, planning over and over again in her mind all the things she would say to him, and now that he was here she was babbling on like a ninny without a brain. She felt decidedly defeatist as she rested her chin atop her knees with a small sigh.

 

 

“Rin.”

 

 

“Yeah?”

 

 

She looked up at him with her shoulders hunched around her ears in anxious expectation. She really hoped he wasn't going to tell her to be quiet. Sesshomaru had a habit of doing that. Whenever she got going she' hear his commanding, “Rin, silence,” and that would be the end of it. Even though Inuyasha had silenced her with a word, the quiet expression on his face told her that he definitely wanted her to keep talking.

 

 

“I've been gone a long time,” he observed, his voice sounding distant. “I've got a lot to catch up on. I want you to tell me everything.”

 

 

The relief that flooded over her at his kind words rushed out of lungs in a large exhale. A bright smile broke out across her face and her eyes lit up with excitement. Taking a big breath she dove right into her next story, fondly telling him about all the cute things Akira had done and the adventures he'd gotten into, as well as how Sesshomaru was adapting to the changes (very well!) and Ronin's sword fighting lessons.

 

 

Inuyasha had remained silent through all of it and eventually eased himself back to rest on his elbows. When she was finally out of stories and tidbits of gossip, Rin heaved a great sigh and collapsed back against the grass next to him completely exhausted.

 

 

“A lot can happen in a month,” he mused with a half smile. Rin nodded her head thoughtfully.

 

 

“Yeah,” she responded distractedly. The smile fell from her face as an errant thought ran through her mind. It was something she'd been struggling with for the past few weeks. How could she ask him? Would he even want to hear what she had to say? Knitting her fingers together she drummed her thumbs nervously against her stomach.

 

 

“Inuyasha…,” she began hesitantly, stumbling over her words. She saw his head turn towards her out of the corner of her eye and blanched under his gaze. Swallowing hard she kept her eyes fixed on the clouds above and cursed the sudden dryness in her throat. Why was this so difficult? She'd never been afraid to speak her mind before.

 

 

“What do you think of me?” The pressing question was blurted out much too fast and she visibly cringed as soon as the words left her lips.

 

 

“Huh? What do you mean what do I think of you?” Inuyasha cocked an eyebrow at her, confusion written on his features.

 

 

Rin could tell from his blank stare that he had absolutely no idea what she was trying to get at. Realizing she would need to take a drastically different approach she sighed and re-worked the words in her head.

 

 

“Do you…ever think of me as anything more than your brother's ward?”

 

 

“Rin, where is this coming from?” he cut in, his gaze turning wary.

 

 

“I'm sixteen now, I'm practically an adult, but you still look at me like I'm a child don't you? I know you just lost Kagome and that you loved her but maybe… maybe you might consider…

 

…

 

I think I'm in love with you Inuyasha!”

 

 

Rin pressed her lips together and turned silent, mortified by her spontaneous confession. She'd intended to subtly ask him if he could possibly see her as anything more than Sesshomaru's ward but instead, like an idiot, she'd confessed that she was in love with him. Nice going! Way to scare him off! She could've smacked herself for letting her mouth run free…again!

 

 

Inuyasha sat up abruptly and turned his back to her in exactly the way she'd feared he would. Rin bit her lip nervously and pushed her body upwards as well. Shuffling forward on her knees she paused next to him and peered up at his face. His eyes were dark and smouldering and she could tell from the way his jaw was clenching and unclenching that her confession hadn't made him happy.

 

 

“Inuyasha?” She whispered tentatively. Her fingers curled against her thigh as she resisted the urge to reach out and touch him.

 

 

“Rin you don't want to be with me.” His eyes were serious as he turned to look at her.

 

 

Her brows knit together at his words and she stubbornly shook her head in disagreement. “You're wrong! I do want to be with you. You're all I've thought about these past few weeks! Are you…are you saying that can't think of me in that way?”

 

 

Her face fell as this thought settled heavily upon her heart. What if he wasn't interested in her at all? She swallowed hard. How would she feel knowing that she loved a man who would never love her in return? Her heart clenched painfully in her chest and she could feel hot tears begin to well up in her eyes. With a minute shake of her head she blinked them away; she wouldn't allow him to see her cry. No one ever saw her cry, not even Sesshomaru.

 

 

Snapping suddenly like a taught wire, Inuyasha grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and shook her hard. She winced as his fingers bit into her flesh but she couldn't tear her gaze away from the intensity in his eyes. They burned from within, lit by a fiery blaze of mixed emotions.

 

 

“Rin, listen to me!” he commanded in a voice that demanded obedience. “Every woman I have ever loved in my life has died tragically - my mother, Kikyo, Kagome - they've all died young and not well. I don't want that for you! Don't you get it? Being with me is like a death sentence!”

 

 

She opened her mouth to protest that she was different, that she was stronger than the others but he silenced her with a subtle shake of his head and continued on. “Besides, Sesshomaru would never approve. He and I both know you deserve better than a hanyou.”

 

 

Rin was taken aback by his words and stared at him in stunned silence. He was right of course. Sesshomaru would be a problem, but how could he think that he'd been responsible for all those deaths? Sesshomaru had lost all the women he'd ever loved as well, but that didn't mean it was his fault!

 

 

Feeling brave, Rin leaned forward and draped her arms around Inuyasha's neck, holding him close to her in a gentle hug. “Inuyasha…I want you. I've wanted you for a long time. Haven't you ever noticed the way my heart pounds whenever you're near? I know you can hear it. I always stumbling over my words whenever you speak to me…I'm not this vocally inept and I think you know that much too.”

 

 

She felt him heave a sigh but went on anyways, her voice soft and patient to his ears. “I know what it's like to fear being alone. Who else can understand what it means to be stuck between two worlds and know that you belong to neither? We are both islands unto ourselves Inuyasha, torn between our loyalties to the human and the demon world. We understand each other in a way no one else can or ever will. Doesn't that count for something?”

 

 

Inuyasha gently pulled away from her embrace and looked her sternly in the eye. His face was grim, his mouth drawn into a tight frown, but his eyes searched hers with sincerity. He needed to know that she understood what she was asking for, what she was getting herself into, when she said she wanted to be by his side. He'd be lying if he said he'd never considered her as more than his brother's ward. Over the past few years she'd blossomed into a beautiful, graceful, and warm young woman, yet he'd never stopped to think that someone like her would be interested in him. Hearing those words from her lips felt too surreal to be true and he wondered if perhaps this was just another dream.

 

 

She was the same age now as Kagome had been when they'd first met and the resemblance between them at times was painful. He understood that she was different though; there was no confusion on his part, in his mind or in his heart. She wasn't Kagome and she never would be. She was Rin, the little girl who'd rescued his brother from the depths of his own solitude and single-handedly re-educated him on how to care for someone other than himself. That alone was impressive, but the way she had willingly taken on the task of protecting his son and caring for him with more love than he'd ever dreamed possible endeared her to his heart.

 

 

Truthfully he'd been avoiding returning to this place. The past few months were a blur of endless days spent wandering through the forests in search of something to distract himself, anything that would give him purpose, and yet he found nothing. After all of his wanderings he'd realized that the only place he truly wanted to be was back here - with her and Akira. The determination in her words tugged at his heart and he understood the sincerity in them. She knew what she was asking of him, he knew what she wanted, and though he was reluctant to give in he couldn't resist her.

 

 

Rin smiled at him warmly and closed her eyes as his clawed hand came up to gently caress her cheek. She leaned into his touch, slowly opening her eyes to meet his. The expression in them was unreadable, but his next actions were clearer than any words could have been. Snaking his fingers into the silken strands of her raven hair he pulled her towards him and offered her a tender kiss.

 

 

Relaxing at his touch she gave her whole heart up to him and melted against his body. Inuyasha's free hand settled gently on the curve of her hip and he slowly guided her body down to settle in the soft grass. Breaking their kiss only for a moment he pulled back and glanced down at her bright eyes and the flush that had illuminated her cheeks.

 

 

“I don't deserve you, I hope you realize that,” he lamented softly. His eyes were endless amber caverns filled with hope and loss. Offering him a smile, Rin reached a hand up and let her fingers drift across the line of his jaw before settling them on his lips. He kissed them reflexively and her smile widened.

 

 

“Yes you do.” It was the most certain she'd been about anything in her life.

 

Her tone begged no argument and seeing that it was useless to fight her Inuyasha bent his head and kissed her again, his lips tenderly caressing hers as he tried to tell her without words how thankful he was to have her. Thankful, and hopeful, and blissfully happy.

 

 

 

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Rin slowed the pace of her footsteps as she drew closer to Sesshomaru's library. Her stomach was aflutter with butterflies and her fingers nervously twisted the silk of her obi, wrinkling it horribly. She'd been dreading this moment for the past several hours. Ever since she'd returned to the palace with Inuyasha she'd been preoccupied with thoughts of how exactly she would break the news to Sesshomaru. Considering the past the brothers shared and their seemingly never ending rivalry she wasn't looking forward to this particular meeting.

 

 

Her feet came together, halting before a thinly veiled sliding door. On the other side was the man who'd cared for her like a father since she was a child. She owed him everything and yet he'd asked her for nothing in return. Though she knew it wasn't so, she couldn't help but feel like she'd betrayed him somehow with her feelings for Inuyasha. She didn't think him the type of man who was petty enough to hold such a thing against her, but then again, she also knew the depth of his hatred for his brother. Inuyasha had, in one way or another, taken from him everyone and everything he ever truly cared about. His father, Tetsusaiga, Kagome, and now she would be another addition to the list.

 

 

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth she hesitated at the door, no longer sure she had the strength to go inside.

 

 

“Rin. You may enter.”

 

 

Sesshomaru's voice sounded from within, sharp as ever. Of course he knew she was there. He had a knack for knowing exactly where she was at all times. Realizing that there was nothing left to do but face her fears and get it over with, she took in a steadying breath and pushed the sliding door aside to let herself in.

 

 

He was seated behind a large desk covered in tall but immaculately neat stacks of papers and scrolls. The papers towered high up on either side of him so that only the center portion where he sat appeared clear. In front of him was spread a large scale map of his lands. Hunched over, writing instrument in hand, he appeared engulfed in a study of his large and ever changing borders. He didn't look up as she entered but she knew he was listening. He always waited for her to speak first.

 

 

The older he got the less willing he was to speak unless it was absolutely necessary. He'd learned centuries ago that if you stay silent long enough people will eventually tell you what's on their mind and often times end up telling you far more than they'd originally intended. The silence between them now grew heavy as he waited for his ward to blurt out her thoughts as she was accustomed to doing.

 

 

Rin grimaced as a new wave of butterflies took up residence in her belly. Stepping forward she did her best to stand up straight, stop fidgeting and look presentable. She cleared her throat to speak but surprisingly Sesshomaru cut her off. His nose twitching he glanced up to let his eyes meticulously sweep over her tiny frame.

 

 

“Inuyasha is back I see.”

 

 

Glancing down in embarrassment Rin realized belatedly that she'd completely forgotten to change. He could probably smell him all over her. She sighed inwardly at her own forgetfulness, but deciding that there was nothing that could be done about it now. Nodding her head she simply answered him with a curt, “Yes.”

 

 

“What does he want this time? Did he by chance bring any more dead bodies to drop at my door?”

 

 

Rin winced at the bitterness in his tone and knew that behind those words there lingered a pain far greater than anything she'd ever experienced. Lowering her gaze she stared at the intricate pattern decorating the rug she stood on. Her eyes followed its loops and dips as her lips spoke the words she thought she'd never say.

 

 

“No. He's here for me.”

 

 

Sesshomaru's eyes snapped up from his work. His gaze was hard but Rin could see his surprise in the way his graceful eyebrows lifted marginally higher on his forehead.

 

 

“I see.”

 

 

His head tilted to the side and he studied her in silence. He reasoned that he must have heard her incorrectly. He couldn't possibly have been oblivious enough to miss a relationship between his ward and his hanyou half brother. He was certain he would've noticed signs of such an affair. His eyes swept over her again, taking in the way she wrung her hands in front of her body, the racing pulse at her neck and the fierce determination in her eyes.

 

 

“I love him,” she stated confidently, bringing his worst fears into fruition. “We could never be together before but I…I want to go with him now. I want to start a life with him.”

 

 

Sesshomaru nodded his head once and turned his gaze back to his map. He studied it in silence, tracing lines here and there and making marks on the paper with a small inked brush. When he hadn't spoken for what seemed like an eternity Rin finally called his name.

 

 

“I don't see your point in telling me,” he explained. “You knew I would never approve the match.”

 

 

Rin sighed and began to pace back and forth in front of his desk. She could feel his eyes watching her even though he never appeared to look up from his work. Her gut twisted into painful knots as his words played over again in her mind.

 

 

“You've always been like a father to me Sesshomaru,” she began hesitantly.

 

 

He cut her off with a curt, “I am not your father.” His harsh reply confirmed what she'd been dreading - he was furious.

 

 

“No…no you aren't,” she conceded in a placating tone, “but that doesn't mean I don't think of you as one. I owe you my life Sesshomaru-sama. I owe everything to you. I don't know why you saved me that day seven years ago, but there isn't a morning that goes by when I don't wake up thankful for it. You've done so much for me…it would be dishonourable to leave without a word.”

 

 

“You are not going with him,” he retorted, his voice holding an air of finality.

 

 

“You don't approve of him because he's a hanyou,” Rin continued on un-phased, “but people didn't approve of Kagome when you first made you're your mate either. When you love someone it's not supposed to matter what other people think. You taught me that Sesshomaru-sama and you'd be a hypocrite if you turned your back on me now.”

 

 

As the words flowed from her lips Rin became sure of herself, confident and even a little bold. Stubborn as always, she stood with her back rigid, her chin jut out defiantly, and awaited his response. She couldn't back down now. She'd said her peace and whether he accepted it or not she was going to go with Inuyasha. A part of her desperately craved his acceptance though. She couldn't comprehend living a life that didn't include him in it, but understood with a heavy heart that such a fate was a likely possibility given the circumstances. As she awaited his response her stomach churned with anticipation and she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Clinging to hope, her eyes followed his every move.

 

 

Sesshomaru sighed heavily before pushing his body out of the oversized chair it'd been resting in. Moving to a nearby window, he stared out into the wilderness and contemplated his next course of action. The way he saw it he had two options and neither was appealing. The first was to forbid her to leave even though he knew full well that the stubborn girl would go anyways and would then be lost to him forever. The second option was to accept her choice of mate and knowingly let the hanyou take her from him. He `tsk'ed to himself as the bitter taste of fear rose to the back of his throat.

 

 

It was times like these that he longed for Kagome's presence. A woman's perspective would be greatly asset in this situation since he still understood very little about the inner workings of a young woman's heart. Tossing his eyes towards the brilliantly blue sky he silently asked for his mate's help. The answer came instantly, and with the precision of long bred instinct he knew what she would've desired. As a hopeless romantic, Kagome would've endorsed the match wholeheartedly. She'd always been able to see past barriers of rank and origin where he could not. But that was Kagome, stubborn, righteous and completely unreasonable when she thought she was right. She would've castigated him just for questioning Rin's choice. The thought of his mate's finger poking angrily into his chest while she berated him for being a stubborn dog brought a sad smile to his lips. He longed for those days.

 

 

Closing his hand into a tight fist Sesshomaru clenched his jaw and contemplated wearily resting his forehead against the cool pane of glass in front of him. He couldn't fathom losing Rin as well. He had always known this day would come eventually, but he was ill prepared and found himself lost in the grips of anxiety. Though he hated to admit to any weakness, even to himself, he would be lost without her strength to guide him through the next few months.

 

 

With that thought he sucked in a breath to garner his resolve and turned towards the sound of Rin's advancing footsteps. She stopped when their eyes met, and they regarded one another in silence. He watched her chocolate coloured eyes blink wide and he realized she was unsure how to interpret the emotions dancing within his gaze. With a nod of his head he dismissed her, sending her off with a simple command.

 

 

“Bring the hanyou to me.”

 

 

 

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Author's Note: Okay guys I really want to apologize for slacking on my updates. This past month has literally been a month from Hell (school work wise) but I'm getting through it. Hopefully you like this chapter. I realize it deviates a little from the Sesshomaru Kagome theme but hell...we needed a ray of sunshine and what better way to do that then through a budding romance hmm? I'd love to know what you guys think about this one. For those of you who might be wondering...Kagome IS going to make a comeback. I'm not gonna spill the beans so don't ask how I'm gonna do it but just know that she will return :) Good news right?

 

 

Until next time...