InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Taisho's Darling ❯ The Hottest Spot in Town ( Chapter 21 )

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Disclaimer: I don't own these marvelous characters; they are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I merely torture them at will and put them in uncomfortable situations whenever possible.

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Chapter 21

The Hottest Spot in Town

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There was peace in the house, but not a good kind of peace. The air was uncomfortable, resembling the eerie quiet before a violent storm. Normally one to welcome the silence, Kaede found herself completely on edge as she made her way to the front room.

It might as well be silent, she figured, because right now she was still too angry to speak with anyone. As far as Kaede was concerned, the entire crew could drop off the face of the planet. An investigation into the activities of the household this morning had brought to light some disturbing revelations, not the least of which included the transportation of her unconscious body from bed to bed. The indignity of the entire thing made the motherly woman want to strangle those who were involved. Really, they were acting like children…

"Kaede, telephone," Sango's pleasant voice called, interrupting Kaede's bitter thoughts. "He said he absolutely had to speak with you," she whispered, handing the phone to the older woman with a wink. "Sounds like you've made a conquest."

"Hiya Toots!" the voice blasted into her ear.

Kaede almost hung up the phone on the spot. Curiosity stayed her hand, however, and she responded with tones guaranteed to freeze even the most stalwart of souls. "Thou hast a great deal of courage, Toto-sai, calling to speak with me. I fear I'm not in the best of moods, and thou art well aware of the reason behind my suffering."

"I called to apologize, Kaede," Toto-sai's voice held volumes of regret. "That was a rotten trick on my part, caused by my insane desire to best Taisho at every opportunity. Please allow me to see you tonight. I want to make this up to you."

"I don't know," Kaede hesitated. The memory of Taisho, yelling at her this afternoon over a matter that was completely beyond her control, bubbled to the surface and she found herself relenting. "Very well," she told the demon, "but think not that this matter is settled." After hammering out the details of just when Toto-sai would be picking her up and where they would be going, Kaede ended the conversation. For a long time afterward, she sat there with the phone in her hand, contemplating the empty space before her.

……

Koga blinked at the sign on the storefront. There had to be some kind of mistake. So certain was he, in fact, that he almost signaled for the departing taxi to stay. This couldn't be the right address!

But it was the right address. Through the brightly-lit store window, he could see Koharu, his sweet, innocent, freckle-faced Koharu. She was ringing up a customer's purchase and explaining how to properly launder the item being sold. Her lips were curved in a tender smile, a poster-child for shop clerks everywhere.

Unfortunately, the effect was somewhat tarnished by the fact that she was wearing a Bo-Peep outfit with an almost transparent bodice. That, and she was giving the customer detailed cleaning instructions for a pair of red leather bondage pants. Even worse, the customer was now asking a question regarding some of the adult novelties lining the wall behind the counter.

He remained frozen in place at the window, watching the entire scene as if in a dream. His body was motionless, but his mind was reeling. After first toying with the notion that everything about Koharu was a lie, he discarded this conclusion as incorrect. Koharu was a genuinely innocent creature; he'd spent too much time in her company to believe anything different. There was a reasonable explanation for all of this, he was sure of it.

Koga knew why the shop owner had hired her. The contrast of such innocence in the midst of something so naughty was - the wolf demon had to admit - incredibly sexy. It was a shame the owner was going to have to find another employee, because this was definitely Koharu's last day behind that counter. There was no way his woman was going to spend her life working in an adult lingerie store!

He slipped into a shadowed alley nearby and watched her as she sent the customer on his way and closed up the shop. By the time Koharu had locked the front door, Koga was fuming. This part of town was dangerous, didn't she realize that? It was a good thing he was there to keep an eye on her.

At last, she had rolled the metal cage down to cover the windows and set the security alarm. Koga moved toward her, intent on giving her the scolding of her life for being so unaware of her surroundings. She seemed absorbed in her own little world, as if she were strolling through the public gardens in broad daylight instead of walking down a dimly-lit street in the red-light district! The kami only knew what kind of perverts and sickos were prowling the area, waiting to pounce on such a sweet treasure!

As he leapt from the alley, intent on sweeping her into the safety of his arms, a heavy hand grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved him against a nearby wall. Before Koga could protest, youkai-strength cuffs fastened his hands behind his back. "Not this time, buddy," the voice of a bear demon growled, pinning him to the hard bricks with a heavy paw. "Hey, Suichi!" the bear yelled, presumably to his partner. "Looks like we've got that creep that's been stalking the shop girls around here!"

"You've made a mistake!" Koga yelped as he was thrown into a nearby squad car. "I'm innocent! I was just going to hug her!"

"Tell it to the judge, wolf-boy."

……

"Master?" Taisho heard Kaede whisper hesitantly. "Art thou awake, Taisho-sama? I need to speak with thee."

"I'm awake, Kaede," the inuyoukai replied, not bothering to open his eyes. "Enter and state your business. Make it quick - you don't want to keep Toto-sai waiting." His sharp ears had overheard Kaede's phone conversation, and her ready forgiveness of the metal-smith had sent Taisho plummeting into a dark depression. At his harsh words, Taisho smelled the tension return to Kaede's scent, and he immediately regretted allowing his jealousy to get the better of him.

"Toto-sai will not arrive until well after the dinner hour, Master," Kaede sniffed. "Perhaps I should return at a more convenient time, when thou art more rested. Old bones do heal slowly, do they not?"

Taisho chuckled then; he couldn't help it. Opening one eye, he focused on the quick-witted female kneeling by his bedside. "One of the traits I have always admired in you, Kaede, is your refusal to put up with any of my nonsense." He rolled to his side and propped himself up on an elbow. "What is it that you want, dear girl?"

She swallowed a couple of times before answering him, appearing to be choosing her next words with care. "I wish to alter my speech habits, Taisho-sama. Toto - I mean, I have been informed that thou hast a spell which can take care of the matter with haste."

He noticed her slip of the tongue. So Toto-sai was behind her newfound desire to rid herself of her archaic speech, was he? Disappointment stabbed his gut, the pain going deeper than any physical wound. As often as he had teased Kaede about her speech patterns, they both had treated it as just a game. He accepted Kaede as the person she was, old-fashioned habits and all. Could Toto-sai not do the same?

"There is a spell," he told her reluctantly, "if you truly wish to do this. I'll warn you, though, it's a rough one. Most would only use the habit-stones to overcome addictions of a serious nature, not to rid themselves of charming mannerisms."

She blushed at his veiled compliment, a shade of pink scattering across her face and giving her cheeks a rosy hue. "Charming or not, Master, I have come to realize it is a danger. My speech mattered little when I stayed within the confines of a relatively small circle of friends, but as I have ventured further from home it has drawn attention. Some of that attention is most undesirable, Taisho-sama," she finished softly.

"I see," he answered, although he truly didn't. Couldn't Toto-sai protect her from unwanted attention? Unless the conniving bastard was involving Kaede in his other activities…Taisho's mind wandered briefly, pondering the fact that he'd had no word yet from Kikyo. He wondered what, if anything, the reincarnated miko had done with the flask he'd sent her.

"Kaede," Taisho asked, his mind still on his own problems, "has Toto-sai said anything to you regarding his interest in locating the names of the humans who have been enslaved over the past thousand years?"

"I have heard tell of this hobby of his, Taisho-sama, but he has said nothing to me personally of this pastime," Kaede answered him. Her face remained passive, but the change in her scent immediately told Taisho she was lying.

This was an interesting turn of events, Taisho mused. Toto-sai and Kaede knew something that he didn't, and neither of them saw fit to share this information. So be it; he'd find out what they were hiding sooner or later. It must be important indeed, if Kaede was willing to tell an untruth.

Returning his attention to the matter at hand, Taisho spoke. "I haven't the strength to cast the spell, Kaede; you'll have to ask Sesshomaru to do it. Just tell him you need to use the habit-stones; he'll know what you want. Close the door on your way out, will you?" Taisho rolled back and crooked his arm across his face, shielding his eyes. He couldn't bear to watch her leave, knowing he was losing her.

……

"Young Master, art thou certain this shall work?" Kaede asked Sesshomaru. The two rocks didn't seem to have anything special about them. They were smaller than her palm, smooth, round, gray, and worn with age and weather. Kaede handled them curiously, wondering what use they could possibly have for habit-breaking.

"It's not the rocks that do the trick, Kaede; it's the spell attached to them," Sesshomaru assured her. "Worse habits than archaic speech have been eliminated by these stones."

"Yeah, according to Father, they cured your thumb-sucking," Inu-Yasha interjected, enjoying the scowl that crossed his brother's face.

"It's a shame Father didn't put them to work on your habit of opening your mouth without first engaging your brain," Sesshomaru countered. "Remind me why you are here in the room with us? I see no need for your presence."

"I need to talk to Kaede when you're finished," his brother answered. "Besides, this ought to be fun to watch," he added with a grin. His left ear was twitching, a definite sign he was being entertained.

"How refreshing to hear I'm the source of thine amusement, Inu-Yasha," Kaede ground out between clenched teeth. She still hadn't forgiven the hanyou for his part in her unwilling game of 'musical beds.' "Should it be too much for mine old soul to hope that thou art intending to offer an apology?"

"Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen, Kaede," Sesshomaru warned her. He carefully wrapped each of her hands around the stones and took her right hand in his. "Now for your part - first, I want you to think of something terrible."

"Something terrible?" Kaede didn't understand. "A tragic event, perhaps? Or must I be thinking of something sad?"

"Not that kind of terrible," Inu-Yasha chimed in. "Terrible like, um…like Jaken standing in the rain, naked."

Having once met the toad youkai while he was delivering paperwork to the mansion, Kaede cringed at the mental picture that formed in her head. As she did so, she squeezed the rock she was holding. A warm blue glow emanated from the rock, capturing her hand and freezing it to the stone.

"Inu-Yasha!" Sesshomaru rounded on his brother. "You didn't let me finish my explanation!" He turned back to Kaede, who was staring at her hand in horror. "The rock will release your hand in just a moment, but it's too late to change that part of the spell." He glared at the hanyou.

"Let's be absolutely sure of this part before we continue," Sesshomaru continued, dropping her hand and picking up her other one. "Now, when I give the word, I want you to conjure up a mental image that will be as pleasing as possible. At the same time, you need to squeeze the other rock. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, and make this one count, Kaede," Inu-Yasha added. "It's basically going to be your reward for changing your habit. Think of something really good, like Sango's curry."

"Is food the only thing you ever dream about, Inu-Yasha?" Sesshomaru asked with exasperation.

"Other than hot sex, you mean?" Inu-Yasha asked with an air of innocence Kaede knew to be false.

"Please, I am trying to concentrate!" she begged the brothers. They immediately ceased their banter. Closing her eyes, Kaede picked a happy, peaceful scene from memories of her days before her enslavement. "I am ready," she announced.

"I wonder who she's picturing naked this time," Inu-Yasha laughed.

"Inu-Yasha, cease thine eternal yapping!" Kaede ordered, but it was too late. The memory of Taisho, standing in her bathtub dripping wet and without a stitch of clothing on him, sprung to the forefront of her mind just as Sesshomaru pressed her hand around the other rock.

"Whatever it was, it must be good!" Inu-Yasha hooted. "Her face is redder than my old haori! Do us all a favor, and don't tell us what memory you picked!"

"You no longer need the rocks, Kaede," Sesshomaru informed her. "The spell will now stand on its own."

"Good," replied Kaede. She tossed one of the stones at the hanyou who took such pleasure in baiting her. The rock made a satisfactory 'thunk' as it hit Inu-Yasha square between the eyes. "So how does this work, Young Master?" Kaede asked, turning to Sesshomaru. She was still a bit confused as to the mechanics of the entire process. "Canst thou - augh!" The image of a naked Jaken popped before her eyes.

"And that is how it works," Sesshomaru pointed out. "Whenever you invoke the bad habit, the horrifying image will spring to the forefront of your mind. When you intentionally replace the bad habit with a good one, the pleasing image shows itself. I strongly urge you to exercise the good habit immediately, Kaede, before you become ill."

"It burns!" Kaede whimpered. She wanted to vomit. With a tremendous effort, she rephrased her sentence. "Can you," she emphasized the pronoun, "tell me how long this spell will last, Sesshomaru-sama?"

Instantly, the mental picture of Taisho filled her mind. "Oh!" she smiled. "This won't be so bad, will it?"

"The spell will last for approximately three days, Kaede. By then, you should be well rid of your old-fashioned speech." Sesshomaru retrieved the rock she'd thrown at Inu-Yasha and collected the other stone from the still-grinning Kaede before making his departure.

"So…" Inu-Yasha cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the silence left in Sesshomaru's wake. "Um, Father said I owed you an apology. I guess dumping you in Miroku's room was out of line…"

"Don't apologize unless thou - ugh!" She gagged as Jaken's image resurfaced. "I mean you! Don't apologize unless you really mean it!" She breathed a sigh of gratitude as Taisho's image replaced the one of Jaken.

Her master's youngest son had the grace to look embarrassed. "I do mean it, Kaede. I shouldn't have dumped you in Miroku's bed like that. Also, um, there was something else." His voice lowered, and his next sentence was nothing more than a mumble.

Kaede found her anger replaced with sympathy for the stammering hanyou. He had lost his customary swagger and was stumbling painfully over his sentences. "Inu-Yasha, did th-you," she tripped over the pronoun but caught herself in time, "just mention Sango's name?"

"Uh, yeah," Inu-Yasha rubbed his head sheepishly, rumpling his ears in the process. "You're kind of the only mother Sango has ever had, and, er, I just wanted to follow tradition and let you know that, um, I wanted," he choked, finding it difficult to continue. "I'm going to ask her if she wants -"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by the strident ringing of his cell phone.

"This had better be important, Manten," Inu-Yasha answered the phone with a growl, recognizing the number as belonging to his bartender. "What's going on? What's that noise I'm hearing in the background; is someone fighting? Shit!"

He hung up the call and turned to Kaede. "Do me a favor and tell Sango I'll be late for dinner. There's some kind of problem down at the club." With that, he tore from the room. Had he not been in such a hurry to leave, he might have caught the knowing smile that danced across Kaede's face.

……

She was falling apart; she could feel it. Kagome burrowed further into the arms of Sesshomaru, willing the voices within her head to be quiet. The strident tones subsided, but she knew it was only temporary. The voices within would be back, shattering her soul. It was only a matter of time.

Sesshomaru was talking to her, and she forced herself to focus. He was saying something about dinner…he didn't really expect her to eat, did he? Couldn't he see the cracks lining the surface?

She mustn't let him realize how close she was to breaking. Sesshomaru admired strength; he admired toughness. If she fell apart completely, he'd leave her, turn from her in disgust. Summoning her scattered pieces of energy, she followed him down the hallway. Just a little while longer…she could hold it all in for just a little while longer.

……

Flashing red and blue lights greeted Inu-Yasha as he jumped out of his car and ran to the entrance of Club Lavanda. "What happened?" he shouted, ducking beneath the yellow caution tape across the doorway. He spotted Abi, a longtime member of the local law enforcement, and headed in her direction.

"Oh look, it's the big cheese himself," Abi commented sarcastically. "Glad you could join us tonight, Inu-Yasha. Come here often?"

"Shit-can the jokes and tell me what's going on, Abi," Inu-Yasha barked at her. Secretly, he was relieved it was her handling the disturbance and not one of the other officers. Abi was as corrupt as they came, completely unashamed to be on the take. Inu-Yasha had a feeling he'd be paying her handsomely for tonight's business.

"Looks like a fight broke out when some human wench cast a spell and it backfired," Abi told him. "We've dispersed the crowd, but we're taking the girl into custody. Got any idea where your manager is? He doesn't seem to be on the premises."

"Koga called me earlier and said he had to go downtown for a while. He left one of the bartenders in charge," Inu-Yasha said. He looked around the almost-empty club. "The bartender's name is Manten; he should be around here somewhere - kami!" he sputtered as he spotted the youkai in question. "What happened to him? Or should I say her?"

"That would be the spell that didn't go as planned," Abi told the gaping hanyou. "It turned every male in the joint into a female. Funny, but some of these guys actually look better this way…anyway, my partner," she pointed to a kitsune taking a statement from a tearful Nazuna, "said the spell is only temporary, so it'll wear off in an hour or so. Maybe the judge will be lenient on the wench."

"Look, Abi, do you have to take her down to the station?" Inu-Yasha asked, lowering his voice so no one could hear them. "I know this girl, and she's harmless. I doubt anyone's going to want to press charges over a temporary incantation."

"It's illegal for humans to cast spells, Inu-Yasha," Abi responded, but she took him by the elbow and nudged him into a dark corner. "Of course, there is always the possibility, a slim possibility, that she wasn't the one to cast that spell. It might have been a youkai disguised as her."

"A youkai doing a thing like that would be worth investigating," Inu-Yasha said casually, pulling his billfold from his pocket. He fingered some cash. "Of course, an investigation like that is expensive, and the police force is tragically under-funded. I don't suppose I could make a donation to improve conditions for our hard-working law enforcement officers?"

With a speed so fast her hand appeared as nothing more than a blur, Abi pocketed the currency. "I love it when citizens are civic-minded," she grinned. "You're a generous soul, Inu-Yasha. In fact, just because you're such a caring individual, I'm going to give you a little advice. It's free of charge." She stuck her face in his, and he was reminded more than ever of a bird of prey. "My partner has a special talent, one that's going to carry him far up the ranks of law enforcement. You see, there is no spell on this earth that can escape his eyes."

Inu-Yasha swallowed. "And this concerns me how?" he asked, knowing what her answer would be.

"He couldn't help but notice a concealing spell on the girl's arm, and when he removed it, guess what he found?"

"An unattractive wart?" Inu-Yasha gulped.

"A slave bond, Inu-Yasha. I don't suppose you know anything about that?"

"Abi, I can explain," Inu-Yasha began.

"Save your breath, hanyou. Now, this girl - I believe her name is Nazuna?" At Inu-Yasha's nod, Abi continued. "This Nazuna claims the slave bite is just a leftover from last night's kinky sex with her boyfriend, a submission-bondage type of thing." Abi was breathing in his furred ear by this point, enunciating each word clearly. "My partner is straight as an arrow, lover-boy. This isn't the kind of thing I can just sweep under the rug, so make sure your story matches hers."

She released him then, allowing him to walk over to where Nazuna was talking to the kitsune. "Shut up," Inu-Yasha ordered her, signaling with his eyes that she should let him take care of this. "Dammit, haven't you caused enough trouble tonight? I told you to stay out of the club, Nazuna." He shoved his body up against her own, forcing her a few steps back from the kitsune. "Bad little bitches get punished," he growled.

"Yes, Master," Nazuna whimpered, playing along.

The kitsune was looking at them with disgust. "Save that stuff for the bedroom," he spat. He looked at his partner. "Abi, does their story check out?"

"Yeah," Abi answered calmly. Inu-Yasha knew she was ruffling the money in her pocket, counting the bills. He'd handed her a little extra, and the pleased look on her face told him she was more than happy with his generosity. "We're going to release her into his custody. Nobody's interested in pressing charges."

"Inu-Yasha, is it?" the kitsune asked. When the hanyou nodded, the police officer continued. "I'm not going to poke my nose into the affairs of two consenting adults, but just on the off-chance that one or both of you is lying, I'm going to remove this slave bond. Do either of you have a problem with that?"

Seeing Abi's warning look, Inu-Yasha kept his mouth shut. He'd deal with replacing the slave bond later, after they returned to the mansion. He, for one, was just happy to be getting out of this without landing in a cell at the downtown station.

"Aw, you're no fun," Nazuna whined as the kitsune removed her slave bite. "Haven't you ever wanted to play 'good cop, bad cop'? Hey, what are you doing?" she shrieked as the kitsune covered the spot on her arm with another incantation.

"Sorry, but the fun and games are over," the kitsune told her. "I'm just binding an anti-slavery seal to your life force. You won't be able to play this 'game' of yours in such a realistic manner, but I'm sure you'll find a way to compensate, won't you?"

Shortly afterward, the two police officers departed. The silence left by their departure was broken by a choking sound coming from Nazuna. To his horror, Inu-Yasha noticed the girl was crying. He cursed soundly, a stream of invectives pouring from his mouth. Between Sango's weeping pregnancy hormones and the emotional dramatics of the other women in the household, he was beginning to feel like a permanent handkerchief.

"Nazuna," he sighed, pulling the sobbing human into a hug. "Don't cry, stupid girl. We'll fix this somehow."

"But Inu-Yasha," Nazuna hiccupped softly, "the seal prevents me from getting another slave bite! No one can take over the bond, and I'm going to die!"

"Hush," the hanyou patted her on the back awkwardly. "Father's back at the mansion; maybe he knows how to remove the shield. How long before the residual slave bond wears off completely?"

"A couple of days, maybe," Nazuna murmured. She buried her face in her hands, and her voice sounded muffled when she again spoke. "We were okay for at least that long after Inu-sama died, before Taisho-sama took care of the bonds."

"We've still got some time, then," he said with relief. With his arm still around her, Inu-Yasha moved to leave. He was prevented from doing so, however, by the sudden appearance of a feminine Hiten in the doorway. "Where the hell have you been?" Inu-Yasha asked him. "You could have handled this situation with Nazuna before it ever got this far, ya know!"

Hiten's response was to throw a punch at Inu-Yasha. The haymaker came so quickly and with such force that the hanyou didn't have time to react. With a startled 'oomph,' Inu-Yasha flew across the room and landed against the bar with a crash.

"Dammit, Hiten! What was that all about?" Inu-Yasha yelled. He felt a trickle of blood run down his ear where he had caught it against the edge of the bar.

"Get up," Hiten ordered him. "I'm going to kill you for what you've done to Nazuna, bastard hanyou! How dare you enslave her, making her an object for your sick little sex games?"

Inu-Yasha groaned as Hiten charged toward him; his friend seemed dead-set on settling this matter with his fists. At least the enraged demon wouldn't be able to trash the place with his elemental powers - it was already trashed from the earlier fight. "Hiten, you've got this all wrong," he tried to explain. "Nazuna! Tell him the real story!"

"Hah! I'm not even talking to him right now!" Nazuna proclaimed, planting her hands on her hips in an angry gesture. "He can think whatever he wants!"

The hanyou rolled to his side to dodge a powerful kick from Hiten. "Manten? A little help?" he called to his bartender. Another blow landed near his cheek, close enough for him to feel the vibrations as Hiten's fist hit the bar. The fact that he was being attacked by a man with curvy hips and a pair of bouncing breasts was not lost on Inu-Yasha, but right now didn't seem to be the time to mention it.

Manten had appeared behind his brother, but it didn't look like he would be offering any assistance. "You have a considerable amount of explaining to do, Inu-Yasha," he said crossly. "It distresses me to think of an innocent soul such as Nazuna corrupted by your twisted desires."

"What?!" Outraged, Inu-Yasha staggered to his feet and faced the brothers. "First, let's get one thing straight: Nazuna is hardly an innocent! Hell, after living with Inu-sama all of those years, she could probably show you a few things! Besides, I haven't touched the wench! What was I supposed to do, let her go to prison?"

"That has nothing to do with this!" Hiten claimed, conveniently ignoring the facts at hand. "One thing is clear, Inu-Yasha! Nazuna will never be yours!" He put his head down and charged, intending to drive Inu-Yasha into the nearby wall.

Completely disgusted, Inu-Yasha stepped to the side at the last minute and grabbed the elemental youkai by the neck, putting him into a headlock. "You know what, Hiten? You're absolutely, one hundred percent correct! Nazuna won't be mine, because," he smacked Hiten's head against his knee for emphasis, "I don't want her! In fact, I think the best punishment for her part in all of this," another whack to Hiten's head followed, "would be for me to hand her over to you!" With a final thump, Inu-Yasha knocked the youkai unconscious.

"What have you done?" Nazuna shrieked as Inu-Yasha dumped the limp body onto the floor. "You've killed him!" She rushed to Hiten's side and cradled his head in her lap.

"Nazuna, I've known Hiten for a long time, and it's gonna take more than an ass-kicking to get rid of him," Inu-Yasha said in disgust. He snorted. "Although this is the first time I've ever clobbered a woman. I hope that spell wears off soon, or you're going to have an interesting time when he offers to take you as his mate."

Still sitting on the floor and holding the elemental youkai, the girl looked at him with genuine worry in her eyes. "Inu-Yasha, what am I going to tell him when he wakes up?"

"How about something really crazy, like the truth?" Inu-Yasha suggested.

"But what if…what if he doesn't want me?" Nazuna asked, her face starting to crumple again.

"Don't start with the crying again!" Inu-Yasha begged. "Look, the idiot's in love with you; can't you tell? He was ready to fight me over your supposedly tarnished honor!" he yelled, clenching his fists in order to keep from throttling the aggravating girl.

"Manten," the hanyou continued as he drew a deep, calming breath and surveyed his damaged bar. "I'm officially promoting you to Assistant Manager. Get a cleaning crew in here first thing in the morning, and make sure we have extra help on hand when we open tomorrow night. When word of tonight's business gets out, this is going to be the hottest spot in town."

……

A/N: I promised Sess/Kag fluff, and instead I gave you more twisted attempts at humor. Black Lavender has clearly taken over the keyboard.

So…if I give you two chapters at once, will that stop the death threats? Read on!