InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Talking in His Sleep ❯ Explanations prt.1 ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

[ ] Thinking

" " Speaking

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[Where am I?]

Kagome stared at the caved ceiling above and frowned, memories from the previous night suddenly coming back to her. [I was attacked in the forest and Kouga saved me from the youkai hunters. So I guess I must be with Kouga somewhere.]

Sitting up on the nest she'd been lain in, Kagome felt a slight chill run down her spine and blushed when she realized she was naked beneath the furs. Looking down at herself she was shocked by the amount of bruises on her body, although thankfully none reached above her neck. [What am I going to wear? I wonder where's Kouga?]

As if reading her mind, the wolf-youkai she'd been wondering about appeared a few feet away, turning a corner to enter the small den she was in. He seemed oddly shy, and was careful not to come too close. "Good morning, how are you feeling?"

"Sore," Kagome kept her eyes on her lap and fidgeted with the fur covering her upper body. "And I was wondering if you had any regular clothes."

"Umm... I think I might have something," Kouga turned away and searched for the old kimono from one of his pack's raid on a small village nearby. [Should I ask about it? What do I do now?]

"Arigato Kouga-kun," Kagome smiled a little while taking the kimono, her hand a bit hesitant when his came close to touching her.

"Kagome, if its not too much to ask..."

"Hai?"

"Do you think you could bring yourself to drop the honorifics and just call me Kouga?" He looked up hopefully and smiled brightly when she gave a slight nod.

A look of uncertainty came across her eyes as she spoke, "Of course Kouga-k... Kouga, just let me get dressed and we can go from there ok?"

"Of course," Kouga quickly went back to the entrance of the cave, leaving her in total privacy to change.

Looking around the small den, Kagome smiled sadly, feeling guilty for betraying Kouga. [He considers me his woman, he's always protected me and he saved me last night after I gave myself to another youkai.] Tears welled in her eyes at the memory of Inuyasha's love making, her heart had been so happy until the end when he'd shattered her dreams. [How could he use me like that?]

Dressing quickly, Kagome wiped at the tears that had slid down her cheeks and stood, wincing slightly at the soreness in her legs and pubic area. A low whimper escaped her as she took a few steps forward, hardly loud enough for any regular person to hear, but Kouga was at her side in the next instant, a hand held out before her in offer for help.

"Do you want to come out front?" Kouga left his hand in between them, allowing for her to decide whether or not she accepted his help and was relieved when she took it and nodded.

"I want to go back to the well, I need to go home." Kagome came up beside him and winced, a jarring pain going through her lower body when her foot slipped a bit on a rock. "Please take me back Kouga."

"Kagome, I'm not so sure it would be a good idea," Kouga frowned slightly, having planned to keep her beside him from now on. Seeing tears well in her eyes again, he finally gave a curt nod, not wanting to hear her heartbreaking sobs again so soon. "On one condition Kagome."

She sniffled and blinked back her tears, "Hai?"

"You have to come back today, by nightfall or I'll go and get you," Kouga held her hand tightly while looking her in the eyes.

[As if you could] Kagome bit her lip from informing him he couldn't follow her before agreeing and allowing him to lift her into his arms. "Thank you."

Kissing her forehead in reply, Kouga held her tighter and made his way to the front of the cave, surprising her by setting her down on a large rock and kneeling in front of her. "Before I take you back, I want to know what happened last night. Why did I find you alone out there by that well? Where was Inuyasha?"

Kagome hesitated for a moment, wondering how to explain things without telling him what had occurred between herself and the hanyou. "I was sneaking away while he slept since he didn't want me to go home. I asked Kirara for a ride and we were attacked before we got to the well by those hunters."

When he didn't say anything else, Kagome bit her lip and continued, "I wasn't paying attention to Kirara's flying and got knocked off when she dodged one of their attacks. Since I fell on my back pretty hard I couldn't defend myself and..."

"I know the rest," Kouga cut her off, raising his troubled eyes to hers. "I'm so sorry Kagome, I heard your screams but I wasn't fast enough."

Taking her hands in his, he lowered his head to kiss them sweetly. "By the time I arrived it was too late."

"No, Kouga..." Kagome's eyes struggled to hold in the tears brought on by the overwhelming regret she could see he was feeling. "You saved me."

He shook his head "I didn't Kagome, there's no need to lie, I can smell it on you. There's a difference to your scent now. If I hadn't met you before I wouldn't notice it, but I know its there, you're no longer whole. I was too late to stop you from being raped."

A sob escaped Kagome's lips, making him look up worried and show his own tear-filled eyes. "I'm so sorry Kagome."

Shaking her head, Kagome slid into his lap, holding him close in an effort to console the guilt-ridden youkai. She hated seeing him this way, blaming himself for something that hadn't occured, but there was no way she could tell him who had really taken her innocence. [Forgive me Kouga, I couldn't bear to see your reaction to what occurred between Inuyasha and me. You'd be so hurt and disappointed, and I've already caused you enough pain.]

Kagome clung to him as her tears of insecurity and shame got the best of her. Feeling him sit down to cradle her in his lap and run his hands down her back, Kagome was also filled with a wave of intense guilt, knowing she should tell this wolf how she really felt, but couldn't bring herself to do it. [I know I'm being selfish and unfair, but it feels so good to be loved and cared for!]

Allowing herself to give in to the need to be comforted, Kagome lay her head on Kouga's shoulder and rested there a moment before pulling herself back together and fighting back her tears.

"Thank you," she whispered and looked up at him with a small smile on her lips, traces of guilt and pain still showing in her glossy brown eyes. He nodded and pressed another kiss to her forehead, enjoying the feel of her in his arms for another moment before standing and heading over to the entrance of the cave.

His voice barely reached her ears as he began the trip back to the well. "Remember your promise Kagome."



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-At the well-


"Chikusho," Inuyasha stared at the bloodied bodies surrounding him. Not that the sight or scent of blood or dead bodies was new to him, or bothered him that much, it was the green and white material lying beside one of them that had his stomach knotting in apprehension. [Those are the colors of Kagome's uniform]

Coming over and picking them up, her scent was still on them and he clutched them in his hands, eyes desperately searching for any clue as to where Kouga could have taken her. [He wouldn't go back to his clan, he'd want her all to himself.] Relying on the knowledge of youkai's possessiveness with their mates, Inuyasha sniffed around looking for their scent when he suddenly picked up on it, and found himself staring at the couple beside the well.

Kagome lay bridal style in Kouga's arms, her eyes closed against the dust and any small particles that might enter them during their run. A low growl escaped his throat, causing her to open her eyes with a small gasp. The surprise in her eyes was quickly replaced by anger and then a void. [What?]

"What do you think you're doing baka? How dare you take Kagome!" Inuyasha snarled at the wolf holding his woman.

"How dare YOU show your face around here bastard! The only thing keeping me from tearing you to shreds is the fact that I'm holding her!" Kouga snarled right back, a growing amount of anger burning in his eyes.

"So put her down and face me!" Inuyasha's hand gripped Tetsusaiga's handle, dropping the ripped cloths to the ground.

"Please don't Kouga," Kagome held tight to his neck as he set her feet down carefully and turned her back slightly on Inuyasha, not seeing the hurt expression that crossed his features at her actions. "He doesn't know what happened and I'd rather keep it that way."

"Why?" Kouga frowned down on her angrily, "You'd have me suffer for not saving you and keep him in blissful ignorance? If anyone here is guilty for what happened last night it's HIM!"

A sense of dread slowly crept its way into Inuyasha, his anger growing at being kept in ignorance about whatever had taken place. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Both Kagome and Kouga ignored him, continuing with their talk as if he weren't there. "He should have been with you Kagome! I left you in HIS care!"

"I told you Kouga, I snuck away while he slept, there was no way he could have known." Kagome looked up at the sky and frowned, suddenly realizing that her schedule had been completely thrown off balance and that she'd slept through most of the day as the sun began setting. "I can't keep my promise Kouga."

"Then you're not going," He wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her in place.

"I have to go back as soon as possible, but I promise to be here first thing in the morning, its just too late for me to go and come by dark today." Kagome pointed towards the sun, "See what I mean? We spent most of the day sleeping."

"You did what?" Inuyasha finally took note of the unfamiliar kimono she wore and the scent of wolf coming off of Kagome. [Wait, there's something else that smells different.] Moving closer he had to grip his hands at is sides to keep himself from hurting either of them, asking through clenched teeth. "You mated?"

"Wouldn't you just love to find out?" Kouga smirked, a superior look coming into his eyes as he held Kagome.

Turning in Kouga's arms, Kagome stared into Inuyasha's eyes, a pang of fear running through her as she saw the red at the edges. His voice was low and harsh as he spoke to her, "You would sink so low as to rut with this wolf?"

"Being with Kouga wouldn't be stooping to any level." Kagome stared back, squaring her shoulders and moving Kouga's arms from around her, standing defiantly before him. "I wouldn't call what I did last night 'rutting' with anyone, but for your information, I DID spend the morning with Kouga after he saved me from the dead men you see behind you."

"He saved you?" Inuyasha glared at the wolf before focusing on her again. "I don't believe you, do you really think I'm that stupid? You smell like a gaishou! Men's scent all over you!"

*SLAP*

The sound of her palm impacting with his cheek seemed to freeze the three of them for a moment before Kagome fisted her hands on her hips and was able to speak again. Her voice trembled with barely contained anger and hurt as she yelled at him, tears pooling in her eyes. "How DARE you?! You have no right to speak to me like that Inuyasha! And if my stench bothers you so much then you can just leave for all I care! You have NO idea of what the hell you're talking about! How... how... how DARE YOU?!"

She was turned away by Kouga's hand, pulling her to sit beside him on the edge of the well. She struggled to blink back her tears, forcing down the sobs that threatened to overcome her again. Staring into the wolf's angry eyes, she managed to calm herself enough to speak again a few minutes later. "I'll be back first thing in the morning, you should go check in with your pack."

"I will," Kouga struggled to keep down his rage at the hanyou and touched her cheek softly, "Be careful."

Kagome nodded, sniffling a little while she turned her legs into the well and whispered, "Keep my secret?"

"Hai," Kouga hesitantly agreed, a frown on his features as he angrily agreed, "I won't tell."

Leaning over to kiss his cheek, Kagome thanked him again before jumping into the well, relief washing over her as the blue light surrounded her and took her home.

For his part, Inuyasha glared at the wolf and at the place she'd just left. "What the hell happened last night Kouga? Start talking, what's the fucking secret?"

"Just be lucky I promised not to harm you dog-turd. If not for Kagome you'd be one dead mutt." Kouga turned away, growling and turning again to swipe at the foot that stomped on his tail, keeping him from leaving.

"I'm not going to ask again wolf," Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga, "What the hell happened last night? Did you mate with her?"

Before he could react, Inuyasha felt a searing pain in his stomach as Kouga punched the wind out of him, fracturing a couple of ribs in the process, the strength of his anger adding to his normal power. "I'd shut my big mouth if I were you half-breed!"

"Fuck off," Inuyasha muttered, wincing in pain.

A set of familiar voices caught their attention and made them turn to see Sango and Miroku along with Shippo and Kirara coming into the clearing.

"See, I told you I smelled blood." Shippo squinched his nose and turned his head away from the bodies.

"What happened here?" Miroku asked, looking around for Kagome, "Where is Kagome-sama?"

"She went home," Inuyasha moved away from Kouga and crossed his arms carefully. "She spent the night with HIM."

Turning to Kagome's companions, Kouga looked to the monk and came up in front of him. "Kagome's been through a rough night, she will return in the morning. See to it that dog-turd over there stays the hell away from her until then all right?"

"Inuyasha does what he wants," Shippo glared at the wolf prince. "You're not the boss of him."

"But I AM the mate of Kagome," Kouga glared, silently wondering if he should have said that. "And I will not have my woman upset any more by that hanyou."

"Kagome's MATE?" Sango glanced at Inuyasha, not surprised to see him seething. "You can't honestly mean that? What happened last night?"

"Something bad happened to Kagome didn't it?" Miroku frowned, "Something must have happened to cause her to stay with you overnight. I don't believe she has mated with you however, otherwise you would have been able to follow her into the well and from the looks of things, you can't."

Kouga snorted but did not give a more detailed answer about that, "I promised not to tell what happened. If she wants to share with you she will," Kouga turned away, "I'll be back in the morning as well, just keep the mutt from following Kagome, she needs some time to think."

"Sure," Sango watched the wolf prince form a small tornado around him and run away. [Kami-sama please help us understand what's going on! We need Kagome!]

Turning back to where Miroku and Inuyasha were arguing, she sighed at the view of the dead humans behind them, frowning a bit at the smell. "All right, stop fighting and start cleaning, whatever happened last night was not good and these dead men will only remind Kagome of whatever it was. I want them cleaned out and buried by the time I have dinner made understand?"

"Hai Sango-chan," Miroku turned and started looking over the field, wondering where to start when a nagging feeling came over him. [What could have happened to Kagome-sama to make her leave like this? Did she really mate with Kouga last night?]

Similar thoughts ran through everyone else's heads as they cleaned up the mess. Ignoring his aching ribs, Inuyasha leaned down and grabbed her torn uniform, stuffing the strips into his pocket. [What happened last night? Why the hell didn't I realize she was gone before they woke me up? I can usually sense when she's far away.] Glancing back at the well, he shook his head and focused on the task at hand, forming a plan to take a stroll later on that night. [Yeah, a stroll through time.]



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Back on her own side of the well, Kagome managed to climb out and sneak into her room undetected. Since Souta and her mom were out of the house and her grandpa was meditating, it didn't prove to be too hard a task.

After changing into a pair of baggy black sweats and stretching out a bit, she sighed and sat in front of her mirror in her room, wincing at the sight of dried blood in her hair. [Why didn't I notice that before?] Analyzing her reflection before her, she wondered that she didn't look different. [How can I look so normal when I feel so... lost.] Spying the jewel around her neck, she touched a hand to it and felt her lip tremble as memories of the night before came flooding through her mind.

*

- The feel of lips over hers, a soft tongue exploring her mouth -

*

- A pair of hands gently cupping her breasts before moving away and allowing one to be suckled -

*

- A rough yet soft voice whispering sweet nothings into her ear, licking around her earlobe and teeth nipping carefully. Tears forming in her eyes at the admissions of love she'd yearned so long to hear -

*

- The feel of his chest pressed against hers as he pumped into her from two different places, his fingers wet with her arousal while his breath tickled her neck with his panting -


*


However, more vividly than all that, she remembered the one moment of pure bliss as she was cushioned against his body, basking in his warmth and the afterglow of what they'd just shared - and then...

"Kikyo"


A soft sob escaped her once again, as tears slipped from her eyes down her cheeks. [Why did I have to look so much like HER?!] Glaring at her reflection, she angrily stood and walked away, looking at her watch and quickly grabbing her wallet. [I hope I don't have to pay or show a school I.D.] Crossing her fingers, she hurried downstairs and out to the bus stop, praying to the Kami's that she wouldn't have to explain too much.

Luckily for her, the nurse at the university was in a hurry and not too interested in formalities. After signing a few papers, taking a pill and getting a small vial, Kagome was on her way home and a bit more relaxed knowing there wouldn't be any serious consequences for her actions of the night before. [Thank god for health class and modern medicine!]

Arriving back home, she happily greeted her family and sat down to dinner with them. After telling them of their most recent adventures in the Sengoku Jidai, she kissed her mom and grandpa good night and raced Souta up to his room. "So where's Inuyasha? Is he coming to get you?"

A pained look came over Kagome's eyes and she shook her head to clear it, "I'm going back tomorrow morning, I just needed a break."

"Nooo!" Souta sighed and smacked her arm playfully, surprise when she yelped and glared at him. "What's the matter with your arm?"

"Nothing, we were just attacked and I got a few bruises." Kagome shrugged and jumped up from his bed, "Time to go to sleep right? Good night little man!"

"Kagome?" Souta's voice stopped her at the door.

"Hai?"

"Have you ever... umm..." Souta sat on the edge of the bed, wondering how to word his question correctly. "Has anyone ever hurt you?"

Kagome felt her heart stop for a second, eyes wide and staring at her little brother while he continued. "I mean, have you ever been hurt badly enough to come close to dying? In the past... with Inuyasha?"

"Oh..."

Kagome sighed and came back to his side, gently nudging his legs into bed and pulling up the covers before sitting beside him. "A couple of times I've been hurt pretty badly. I've had my soul stolen from me a lot and there have been a few demons who've wanted to eat me and stuff, but its not something you should worry about Souta."

"But I do worry about you Kagome, you're my nee-chan, I don't want anything to happen to you." Souta sat up and hugged her around the waist, "You're all I have and I miss you when you're gone."

"Souta..." Tears swam in Kagome's eyes and she kissed the top of his head. "You know I love you, and I miss you when I'm gone too but I have to help complete the Shikon no Tama, I'm the one who broke it after all."

"That's right, and it helps to know that Inuyasha takes good care of you. Mom says she wouldn't let you go off like that if she didn't trust him so much." Souta gave her a smile and lay back on the bed.

"Hai, I always have Inuyasha to watch over me," Kagome felt tears prick the corners of her eyes and leaned down to peck him on the cheek before standing. "Good night Souta, sweet dreams."

"You too," his cheerful smile making her heart ease a bit and calm her down.

Heading into her room, Kagome sighed and realized she wasn't all that sleepy. [I should go back, demo... I'm not ready to face him yet. Not alone.] After half an hour of trying to fall asleep with no luck, she finally gave in and made her way out to the well, a small case held tightly in her hand.

Arriving on the other side, she slowly made her way to the village, stopping uncertainly outside Kaede's hut. A familiar voice behind her made her relax and turn with a smile.

"Glad to see you've returned Kagome-sama, we were worried." Miroku watched her turn and was relieved by her smile, true happiness to see him shinning in her eyes.

"Thank goodness you're alone Miroku," Kagome came over and looped her arm around his, turning him away from the hut towards the forest. "What are you doing out here?"

"Praying, I've just finished praying for the souls of those youkai hunters and was on my way back when I saw you standing there. The others should be inside the hut." He allowed her to lead him away and looked her over carefully. "Daijoubu Kagome-sama? You seem troubled."

"Ano... I'm fine Miroku," Kagome sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder, smiling as he tsk'd and shook his head at her a bit.

"Please give me more credit than that Kagome-sama, I am a houshi after all, I know a troubled soul when I'm near one."

Kagome giggled slightly, looking up at his 'innocent monk' expression, "As if I didn't know you Miroku. Hentai Houshi is what you are."

"Hentai Houshi?" he chuckled and stopped beneath a tree not far from the spring they bathed in. "Care to have a seat beside me anyways?"

"I'd love to," Kagome sat and stared out into the forest, a need to talk to someone keeping her from remaining silent. "Miroku, we've known one another for quite some time ne-?"

"Hai"

"And I'd say we're good friends, wouldn't you?"

"Of course Kagome-sama"

"And if one of us needed help, the other would come right?"

Miroku frowned, not liking the way that sounded but once again answered affirmatively. "Hai."

"And you know I'm proud to say you're my friend right? And you're proud of me too?"

"Of course Kagome-sama, I'll always be proud to be friends with you, but I don't see where you are going with this," he glanced down at her beside him and frowned more deeply at the sadness in her eyes.

"Miroku, I need to talk to someone, but I'm afraid." Kagome looked back down into her lap. "I'm afraid of disappointing you or Sango."

"You could never do that Kagome-sa..."

"Could you just call me Kagome?" She interrupted him and bit her lip slightly, "I don't really like being referred to as -sama."

"All right, Kagome," Miroku took advantage of her asking to be rid of the formalities and raised his hand to her chin, lifting it so her eyes met his. "Now stop hesitating and tell me what's bothering you. What happened last night? Why were you with Kouga?"

Looking away for a second from his gaze, Kagome finally worked up her courage to explain. "I was hurt last night by a guy."

"You were hurt?" Miroku released her chin and looked down at the bruise she exposed by lifting her shirt a bit. "How did this happen?"

"I was attacked, by those men at the well," Kagome took a deep breath and continued, "They knocked me off Kirara and jumped on me."

Her voice wavered and came out softer and slower with each word as she continued, "My hands and legs were held down and my clothes were torn off and they..."

"Kami-sama," Miroku stared horrified at the girl beside him, "Tell me they didn't."

Kagome shook her head, "No, they didn't get to actually r-r-r..."

"Hurt you," Miroku cut her off, understanding perfectly well her inability to say the dreaded word. "They didn't get a chance to hurt you, I imagine we have a certain youkai prince to thank for that."

"Hai, Kouga saved me from them," Kagome's throat tightened as she continued, "But it was too late."

Miroku's relief was cut short, his blood freezing in his veins for a second before he could ask what she meant. "Doushite?"

"I had already been... used."

He was dreading the answer to this next question, with good reason as he soon discovered. "By whom Kagome?"

Kneeling beside him and holding his shoulders tightly in her hands, Kagome first insisted he keep silent about it. "Promise you won't say anything Miroku! Promise me please! I couldn't bear it if he found out!"

"Who was it Kagome? I promise not to divulge your secret," Miroku held her arms carefully, keeping her eyes locked with his as he promised.

Her gaze went back down and settled on a fold in his robe as she answered, "It was Inuyasha."



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Japanese vocab:

Arigato - thank you

Chikusho - damn, shit

Gaishou - prostitute/whore/streetwalker

(O)nee-chan - big sister

Ano - colloquially, it means "umm" ... literally, it means "that thing over there"

Hentai - pervert/perverted

Houshi - monk

Daijoubu - Are you ok? / Everything's ok

ne-? - sort of like 'hmm?' or 'isn't that right?', used when you expect a positive response; also used to get somebody's attention in a casual manner

Doushite - Why?


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Replies to reviewers:


Diane(kouga_girl) - I hope you liked this chapter, sorry the update took a couple of extra days but my computer's giving me a lot of problems.

Inuyasha_For_Ever - Just to assure you, although I enjoy reading an occasional Kag/Kouga fic, I'm not quite up to writing one, even though I must admit the wolf youkai is a sweetie.

LadyNight - Ok, don't hate me for that ending. Inuyasha will find out about what happened, but not for a while.

Fallin Dark Angel - I'm sorry its so sad, but I'm glad you love it so far. What'd you think of this update?

TokiDoki - You know, you were the only reader to pick up on her not being raped by the humans. *cheers* Yes, Kouga could smell the change in her but he automatically assumed she'd lost her virginity to the hunters who'd been about to rape her. (Luckily for Kagome he showed up just in time to stop them) Since Kagome is constantly around the hanyou its normal for Kagome to smell like Inuyasha, thus Kouga ignored the smell of him this time like he normally did.


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Thank you all for reviewing! I'm thrilled by the response I've gotten so far and looking forward to writing the next chapter A.S.A.P. Gomen for taking a while to update but as I mentioned to kouga_girl - my computer's really acting up. (Well, I've got to cut it some slack too - the poor thing's like 5 years old, almost 6 ) *glares at dad* I'm hoping to get a new one soon.

*cross your fingers for me!*

BTW - I got a lot of the definitions at the Fanboys Anime Glossary - arigato to the guys who made this great page!