InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Tears of a Broken Soul ❯ The Past & Mistakes in the Making ( Chapter 2 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: celestialmoon 
Why does the past always comt to haunt the present? Shinjiru discovers who she really is and makes a mistake that she will forever regret.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 03.24.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 7.9K | Visits: 130 | Status: Work In Progress
Why does the past always comt to haunt the present? Shinjiru discovers who she really is and makes a mistake that she will forever regret.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 03.24.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 7.9K | Visits: 130 | Status: Work In Progress
Ch. 2
There he sat in a meditative position in humanoid form. He had two swords laying by his side and armor covering his chest and torso. A snowy-white youkino lay lazily across his shoulder and pooled around his folded legs. The wind blew his hair from his face, revealing two magenta stripes marring his cheeks and a royal blue crescent moon emblazoned on his forehead. His billowy hakamas and haroi were all white with a red floral pattern on the shoulder and cuffs of his wrists. At the wrists, two more magenta stripes adorned his skin, leaving the question as to what they were for. Black boots finished off the look of old and Shinjiru smiled.
Taking a deep breath, she released the seals on her magic. Now in her place stood a red haired demoness. With completely black bangs framing her forehead, red framing her cheeks, and black hair at her nape she was a beauty. Her body was completely covered in a black gi with silver knee, shoulder, and elbow pads. The entire outfit was outlined in a frosty blue and was overall pleasing to the eyes. Two katanas were sheathed to her back in an X at the middle of her spine. A silver sash was tied at her waist and held another sword. At her temples were two stripes of silver outlined in black with a golden falcon wing at her forehead. Two icy blue boots hugged the contours of her feet and shins. With a brief breath, two massive white wings burst from her shoulder blades just below the sword hilts.
Shinjiru stretched her wings as she approached Sesshoumaru. He was still just sitting there and if she didn't know any better, she would've thought him asleep. A light haze drifted to the front of her mind and left her feeling dizzy and out of control. She shook her head to dispel the fog clouding her mind. Wordlessly, she sat down next to the silent Lord and studied the layout of the skyline. It was still a decent time of day and almost time for lunch, but the towers of metal and glass reflected the light, making it look just barely dawn. Sesshoumaru's voice woke her from her silent observations.
"Once we choose this we cannot turn back." He informed her, his eyes still closed off to the world. She knew it was to keep him from exposing his inner turmoil. His eyes gave way to everything.
"I know. You know as well as I do that this would mean forever." She said back, turning her eyes away from him to once again watch the skyline.
"I have spent enough of eternity alone and you as well have seen your own share of solace." He said in a monotone voice. His words were ever serious and left no room for humor.
"Yes." Shinjiru confirmed with a sigh. Life has left her alone for countless centuries and more of those centuries spent alone didn't sound too…comforting.
"…I know not how to ease your discomforts and make you feel loved, but I will not let you be alone. My words are as strong as they were then and be assured that I would die before they are ignored." He said finally turning to face her. A mixture of pain and longing flashed in his eyes, though he tried to suppress it.
"I heeded your words then, I shall heed them now." She said quickly. The haze strengthened and she turned to him, fully facing his watchful face. "Though, I think you know how to make me feel at peace."
He smiled at her before leaning toward her. Inches from her face he whispered, "Let us see." He sealed her lips with his in a light chaste kiss.
Being at contact with him broke her from the spell. Immediately they backed from each other, not knowing what to say. It seemed though, Sesshoumaru knew what to do. He brought her mouth back to his with vigor, apparently hungry for her taste. He licked at her bottom lip and was granted access. Plundering her mouth with his tongue-searching for what was unknown-brought a moan from both.
Shinjiru sat there, letting him coax her tongue into play. Slowly, she melted into him and ran her palms up his chest, across his shoulders, and trailed them up, letting them tangle in his hair. She felt herself being pulled onto his lap and tightened her hold on his hair.
A pleased rumble vibrated his armor and he pulled her further into his chest. He ran his claws up and down her back, eliciting small shivers. Her wings were soft and silky with just the right mix of strength and muscle. When she rubbed her thumbs against the backs of his ears, he dug his claws into her waist, drawing blood through the thick rubbery material. He felt her arch into him with a small hiss and pull away from his mouth. When he unclenched his hands, she looked at him in silent question.
Shinjiru felt his hesitation and wrapped her wings around their forms, shielding them from the world. "Tell me." She pressed with a nudge to his nose. He opened his mouth to voice himself, but another, unfamiliar voice from outside their white world stopped him.
"You two are mates."
Shinjiru unfurled her wings, letting them rest at her back. They watched the male in grey walk toward them. Shinjiru felt Sesshoumaru briefly tighten his hold on her, but released her after a small growl. The male was obviously old, but held a young spirit about him. He was simply dressed in grey hakamas and a haroi. His brilliant blue eyes held wisdom and honesty.
"What do you mean? We haven't mated." Shinjiru asked, still seated on Sesshoumaru's lap.
"In past lives, present, and future you two are mates. What you just experienced-the trance-like conversation-was a detail from your past lives that you have remembered. By joining with each other you will gain all of your memories and become true mates. Soul mates. Even though you aren't bonded yet, you are absorbing each other's familiar auras and presence, making you remember what was long ago lost." He said stopping a short distance from the two. Even though something about his words rang truth, Shinjiru just couldn't believe him. "It matters not if you believe me. I am simply here to warn you."
"Warn us of what?" Sesshoumaru asked. His voice too held skepticism.
"Should you two mate, the others will gain their memories. The ones you call friends and band mates will gain their memories and remember everything from the past. But…there is one amongst you that will harbor treacherous intentions. He will be the one to destroy you again." He spoke.
"Wait, again? You mean this has happened before?" Shinjiru asked.
"Yes. Enemies from the past have destroyed you to bring him to his knees." Sesshoumaru growled. "They used your love for her as a weakness to get to you. They raped her mind and violated her body. You fought for her, but when the creature killed her before you, you were broken. You too, fell before your enemy's feet, no longer able to hold your own. Here, I'll show you." He touched their foreheads and a blinding flash lit the area.
~*Memory*~
Shinjiru struggled for life as images of her beloved in the arms of another flashed before her eyes. Their intimate embrace brought tears to her eyes as she struggled to resist the lies. Her arms were bound behind her and she was kneeled down in the gore covered stone of what she guessed was a prison cell.
"Why resist it? Why deny it? Your lord was never really happy with you. The smiles, the pledges, and the so called 'love' he had for you were all false." An evil voice called from the opposite end of her cell.
"No." She whispered as the barrage of images ceased.
"Pardon?" she heard. She stood and glared up at the evil being holding her captive.
"NO! He would never betray me as I would never betray him. Do as you wish with me, but pray for death when he finds you-" She was slapped across the face, the blow almost breaking her jaw. She fell back onto her knees, breathing deeply to control herself. She knew if her youki flared the chains binding her would burn.
"Stupid bitch. Do what you want with her, but leave her just before death. I want her to look her best when her lord comes to save her." With that the cell door was shut and four growls surrounded her.
She breathed through her mouth for the next four painful hours. The scent of male arousal was sickening and their touches were most unwelcome. The mark on her neck burned with every climax her rapists met and silent tears streamed down her cheeks. She refuse to cry out or fight them, but instead curled her consciousness around the lingering power of her mate's protective magic. Praying for his swift arrival, she blacked out.
FLASH
She opened her eyes as she felt herself being thrown to the cool grass. In front of her was Sesshoumaru. She cried out to him, watching as hordes of youkai surrounded him, keeping her from him. With a wince, her wings burst from her back. She stood and stretched them, preparing for flight. The sound of a snap, followed by a deep pain in her shoulder blade made her fall back to her knees. She turned to find her captor with one of her wings in hand.
"You are not going anywhere. I want you here for his downfall." He said as he flung the bloody appendage away from them. Blood hungry youkai attacked the meaty, blood-soaked wing before it landed. Shinjiru looked away as they tore at the pride of her falcon heritage.
For hours her lord was relentless as he tore through youkai after youkai with his Toukijin. Eventually the crowds thinned out and he was able to charge the creature behind her, but not before going to her side.
"Are you alright?" He asked as he cradled her form.
"I am now. Being in your arms gives me all the comfort I'll ever need." Shinjiru said hugging him closer.
"What did he do to you?" He asked slowly. Suddenly Shinjiru was ripped from his arms and drug back to her captor.
"I did nothing but what she requested. An inventive little thing ain't she? I love this little bundle of nerves, especially right here…" he said as he slid his hand beneath the fold of her kimono.
"Enough!" Sesshoumaru roared, lifting his sword before him. "I am here to take my mate back. If I must go through you to do so, then so be it." With that he charged.
Shinjiru was once again throw away from the fight. She landed on her back with a thud as her mate fought the creature that had her taken. They fought relentlessly neither one making any advance over the other. Finally Sesshoumaru struck him hard against the chest, leaving him to stumble back. The thing looked over to her before smiling maliciously. He ran to her and picked her up by the neck.
"You may have beaten me, but I have a theory. What were to happen to you if she weren't here?" He asked as he ran a claw along her cheek.
"What do you mean?" Shinjiru asked, fearing the answer.
"What would your precious mate do if you weren't here as an incentive, to urge him along. What if your own mate magic weren't present in his mind. What if…he no longer had a mate to fight for?" Shinjiru's eyes widened as he grasped her neck and head.
"No! Shin…"
The last thing she remembered was a sharp twist to her head and her mate's fading voice. She fell, slowly it seemed into his arms, watching as the tears streamed down his bloodstained face. Watching his eyes grow cold before everything went black.
FLASH
"No!" Sesshoumaru shouted, holding tightly to Shinjiru's waist. He felt dampness and looked up. She was crying into his haroi. Crying because of the assault on her mind and body.
"My Lady…" The man started.
"No. No more." She called weakly into Sesshoumaru's haroi.
"Perhaps you should return after she is more rested." Sesshoumaru suggested, though for a reason unknown to him, he wanted to rip him to pieces and desecrate the building's rooftop with his blood. Inside he was seething at the audacity this demon had to just show up and presume to torture his mate's mind with images of past. ~Wait, she's not my mate…?~ He stood with Shinjiru still in his arms and walked away from the demon.
"Lord Sesshoumaru, I must warn you. If you mate with her the consequences would be destructive. If the evil is awoken once more…"
"Do not presume to threaten me. What I do is my business, no one else's. And do not call me 'Lord' that was in another life." Sesshoumaru finished as he disappeared down the stairs to the studio floor.
"No my Lord. That life has just become now." The man whispered to the nearing sunset.
"They didn't believe you?" A male voice asked from beside the man. With a sigh the man looked toward the newcomer. He was fairly tall with silver hair up in a high ponytail. Golden eyes held wisdom far beyond these times. He was dressed in modern clothes and his demon markings were hidden.
"Sadly, no. The woman seems to believe, but I think I over did a bit with her. I only meant to make her see the vision, not feel it. She may not want to see what I have to tell them." He laughed sheepishly. The demon beside him glared at him.
"You may very well have just pushed her into his arms. Shinjiru will seek comfort and Sesshoumaru is the closest thing she has. They still do not understand exactly what kind of bond they have. Talk to Sesshoumaru alone if she will not listen. But either way they must know." He said before turning away.
"I hope you're right my Lord." The elder of the two whispered.
~*~*~*~
"Oh my God! What happened to her?!" Kagome cried as Sesshoumaru walked by the studio doors carrying a bruised and somewhat bloody Shinjiru. He wasn't aware that she was actually reliving the experience. He could only imagine how she really felt.
"She is fine, we just had a minor…spar. She will heal in hours." ~Hopefully…~ He added mentally. He could only guess she would be fine in days. The mental trauma was sometimes unbearable.
He carried her to a small room with a bed in it. He gently laid her down and stood to retrieve gauze and antibiotic ointment to treat her wounds, but her hand rose up to grab his arm.
"Don't leave me alone." She whimpered, her eyes still tightly closed as if to ward off the images she relived. He nodded and sat down beside her shaking form. She was starting to bleed on the bed and her eyes were clouded over. He firmly grasped her shoulders and brought her body up against his.
"Don't faint on me." He said against her shoulder. She merely wrapped her arms around his waist and braced herself. Her wings burst from her back and laid limply against the blood-stained bed sheets. He noticed a bruise against the skin where her shoulder blade met her wing. Hugging her close as she whimpered from the assault, he whispered the one thing that sounded appropriate. "Don't leave me again." The whimpers ceased and she stopped shaking completely. Her body relaxed against his as she fell into a deep exhaustion-induced sleep.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru sat up immediately from the barrage of horrible images she had been exposed to in her slumber. Nothing but the words of another could erase the terrible deeds done to her mind. She looked around the room she was in. She vaguely remembered being moved after she had fallen asleep. She spotted the rise and fall of a chest beneath the blanket next to her. Sesshoumaru… He was asleep, but his features gave way to troubled dreams.
Getting up, she went to the bathroom and washed her face. When she came back she found Sesshoumaru sitting up in the bed, looking at her.
"Couldn't sleep." She offered lamely. It was the truth, but it felt like an empty excuse. "Did I wake you?"
"No. I had been conscious for some time. Your movements just roused me." He said into the darkness. He watched as she rotated her shoulders to get them awake.
"Do you mind if I…" She trailed off gesturing to her back. He nodded. With a small wince, her wings burst from her back and she stretched them carefully.
"Sore?" He questioned. She nodded absently. He had been awake with her since he moved her to his hotel room. Over the course of the time, her wings had folded and sank into her skin. It was amazing to see, but knew it caused her pain. He watched as she sat down at the foot of the bed, avoiding eye contact with him. On impulse he began singing.
"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"
She looked up at him surprised as he sang to her, the words were new to his tongue and it showed. But he sung it with such familiarity.
" 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore"
Shinjiru smiled up at him and closed her eyes. Letting the flow he created wash over her, she opened her mouth, letting the feel of the words coat her and protect her.
"The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"
They joined their voices together and sang. Slowly they inched together until she sat in his lap with her back pressed up against his chest. His arms wound around her waist as they sang.
" 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore"
Shinjiru relaxed into Sesshoumaru's embrace. It felt nice to have someone with her to ward off her nightmares. His arms tightened around her and he buried his face in her hair. She felt him inhale her scent and she smiled. She let her features relax even further and her demon markings melted into view. Her wings had sunk in during their song and she was content to just let them lay beneath her skin. His youkino came into view and it twitched lazily across her thighs.
"Shinjiru, I know now is not the best time, but we need to hear what that demon wants to warn us about." Shinjiru turned in his lap, straddling his thighs and looked him in the eyes.
"I will as long as he doesn't make us relive anything." She smiled lightly. He nodded.
"I promise." With that he pulled her beside him and laid back onto the bed. Cuddling her closer, he fell into a contented sleep. The only trouble he had was his inner demon's voice calling into his mind, ~My mate…~
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru cooed at the birds outside her window before nuzzling into the heat she felt at her side. A small sigh of contentment escaped her throat before she heard it echoed. She lazily opened her eyes to be met with swirling pools of gold. The warmth behind the mask shone to it's full extent and she smiled lightly, still half asleep.
"Morning." Sesshoumaru whispered tenderly as she continued to scoot closer to his warmth. He drew her closer with the arm that found it's way around her waist. He was in no hurry to get up. Ever.
"Not yet. If it's morning then that means I have to get up. I…I don't ever want to leave here." Shinjiru whispered into the ever brightening room. She held her breath that was as close to declaration as her voice would let her get. Sesshoumaru's stillness to little to help that fact. A single tear slid down her cheek to be lost in the sheets beneath her.
"Shin," Sesshoumaru's velvety voice echoed from behind her. Shinjiru shuddered as he lapped at the back of her neck. "You're as unsure as I am?" He whispered.
"Yes. No matter how much I try to brush it off, what that demon said scares me. I've never felt so uncontrolled when it came to my life and what I wanted." She turned in Sesshoumaru's embrace to face him. "I want what every heart wants. What hearts cry out for. The love of an incredible male. Now that I've found him," She whimpered, running her taloned fingers across the stripes at his cheeks. "I'll never have him."
Sesshoumaru pressed his forehead to hers, simultaneously closing his eyes with her. He breathed in her unforgettable scent and let an almost inaudible whimper escape him. He felt about as helpless as her voice and words said she did. And he hated it.
Shinjiru opened her eyes to stare at his face. His features gave way to troubles and she knew he was making a decision for himself. That decision would make or break them. If it made them, she would fight with every ounce of her strength to keep him. If it broke them, she would quit everything. The music, the highlife, life. Nothing would ever be the same if he couldn't fight for this. With a louder whimper she closed her eyes tight and held him closer.
Sesshoumaru searched every part of his being, no matter how insignificant, and picked at it. Every molecule in him screamed for her. Even the small part of him that was afraid to risk everything. He needed her. He would fight for her, die for her if only to let her live. Come whatever may, he would be there, standing by her side. Forever.
"Forever." The word escaped his lips with a small smile. He felt her sob with relief. He held her to him and kissed at her teared eyes. When those eyes opened to reveal the icy green he loved he kissed her lightly. They stared at each other in their chaste kiss. Every emotion reflected within their eyes they had no courage to say. Hope, fear, and a doubt as to the 'what ifs'. Love. Love was most prominent in both gazes. Sesshoumaru pulled away slowly. "I promise."
"Me too." Shinjiru whispered. He had made them. The time for uncertainties was passed, now was the time for fight. She leaned into him and took his lips in a kiss leaving him wanting before sitting up and sliding out of bed.
"Shin, what-" Sesshoumaru stopped as she turned to him with heated eyes. Eyes filled with lust.
"Get dressed so we can see what exactly that demon has to say. I want to know what I'm up against." Shinjiru explained, unsuccessfully hiding her desire. She took off her shirt before heading into the bathroom, leaving a stunned Sesshoumaru laying in the bed.
After both were dressed and ready to go, Sesshoumaru put a hand to her shoulder. She nodded to him, telling him the gesture was welcome, before stepping out into the lit hallway. Hand in hand, they made their way up to the roof. Their futures lay waiting in the dark shadows of what this demon's words held for them.
~*~*~*~
Kotoba held his breath as he spotted Sesshoumaru and Shinjiru walking through the door to the stairwell. This was a good sign, but the way they subtly gave way to each other wasn't. He knew by looking at their determined faces and close stances that they had made up their minds. He could only pray that the decision wasn't made in vain.
"Good morning. Lord Sesshoumaru, Lady Shinjiru." Kotoba greeted them with bows. Old habits die hard and he had been used to bowing to them as their time as Lord and Lady of the West was lived, however fleeting that was. He saw the glance of confusion Shinjiru sent him and chuckled.
"Before we start this, I want a few things clear. No more reliving things. My body, even in it's youth, cannot take the strain it was put through, by you. And I'm gonna need a name, I cannot keep referring to you as that demon from the roof. It makes you sound creepy." The demon's increased laughter made her tilt her head to the side in a moment of bird-like confusion.
"Forgive me, but you have changed little, Lady Shinjiru. My name is Kotoba. You used to refer to me as Toba in your past youth. But now the nickname is very unnecessary." Kotoba shrugged off his musings and smiled.
"We want to know of these warnings and what they entail should we decide to consummate. What exactly will happen?" Sesshoumaru asked stepping before Shinjiru as an unconscious way to keep her from the truth.
"Spoken like the Lord you are. Immediately after my Lady would be marked formally, the joining would be fevered as my Lord's lost hunger for his deceased mate would return. He could very well harm you seriously. While this is going on, your brother, his friends, and your friends, my Lady, would regain their memories and knowledge of their roles in past lives. No matter how insignificant, their roles would be played to the key, insuring the untimely destruction of all." Kotoba paused at the revelation in Shinjiru's eyes.
"The evil you spoke of before, it's Naraku, isn't it?" Shinjiru asked with a hiss.
"Very perceptive. Naraku the accursed half-breed who walked the Earth plaguing humanities' lives. Vile thing he was. He too would gain his memories and along with all else, his power. Lady Kagome and the monk Miroku would regain their holy powers. The taijiya, Sango, would be reunited with her lost companion, the neko Kirara. And whomever was mated would gain their marks once again. In essence, your former lives will consume your new ones, but you will still have all knowledge of this life, what you've done. But for those who had been explorations in the past of this life will have to suffer the burn from the mark." Kotoba watched as the news swept over both. They turned to one another and saw the questions. "I'll give you a moment."
With Kotoba out of hearing range, Sesshoumaru lighted eyes to his mate-to-be.
"Did you-" What was he doing? Of course she had. With her figure, personality, and beauty what man hadn't captured her in a moment of lust? Sudden jealousy swept him at the thought.
"Nope." Sesshoumaru stared at her in a whole new light. She had managed to keep her purity while still maintaining a certain sex appeal of experience. "I'm not a virgin to the arts, just to the actual act. I've given and taken, I've just never let someone take that. I don't care if you've explored or even given already. I l-" She was going to say she loved him all the same, but stopped herself. This was her presently, not the Lady of the West. "I like you still." The sentence sounded lame to even her ears. She could only imagine how it sounded to his.
"Oh." Sesshoumaru said dejectedly. He turned and called Kotoba back, ignoring the apologetic looks from the female beside him. "What would become of us? Would she really be captured and… tortured?" Sesshoumaru refused to say raped. He would prevent that from ever occurring.
"Inevitably. One way or another, Lady Shinjiru would be beaten and raped. Though not in the same manner. Naraku himself would most likely rape her, seeing as he has no slaves to do it for him. Your unborn children would die with her…Oh, drat. I wasn't supposed to say that. My Lord will kill me." He turned away from the stunned pair.
"Ch-Child? I was carrying his…pup?" Shinjiru asked as she fought not to faint. The news was extremely overwhelming.
"Pups. Twins, a boy and a girl. Beautiful they were." Kotoba mused, still unaware of the information he passed.
"You've seen them?" Sesshoumaru asked eagerly, his hands reaching unconsciously for Shinjiru's. He laced his fingers with hers as his imagination ran wild with images of his pups.
Shinjiru stared down at the clawed hand holding hers. His mood had suddenly changed at the new topic of conversation, completely forgetting that they would perish with her.
"Yes. In past lives, you had refused to listen and in one case were able to hold off Naraku long enough to see them born. But you never saw them, my Lord. Naraku had them killed before you were able to make it home to your mate and pups. You came home to-"
"Enough. I told you I didn't want to relive anything." Shinjiru said, silent tears streaming down her cheeks at his words. The multitude of images had come unbidden to her mind and she struggled to push them aside. Sesshoumaru's hand on her shoulder and presence in her mind relieved the aches in her head.
"Forgive me. Perhaps now, Kami be generous, you may have them and let them see what the world is like. With their parents in it." Kotoba smiled. This had gone better than he had even hoped. "Lord Inutaisho was right, his son was easier to talk to with Lady Shinjiru in his presence."
"Apparently." Shinjiru mumbled as Sesshoumaru advanced on the unknowing demon. Poor guy, was completely unaware that he had said that out loud.
"Kotoba, when did you last see my father." Sesshoumaru asked, making it sound like idle chat. If what he thought this meant than he had a chance to get better answers from a saner source.
"Why only a day ago. Why…crap." Kotoba held his hands up in innocence as Sesshoumaru lifted him off the ground by his collar. He closed his eyes tightly as Sesshoumaru's face turned menacing.
"Kotoba, you have three seconds to tell me where my father is. One."
"My Lord, I have no idea where your father is-" Kotoba cried out with his eyes still shut.
"Two." Sesshoumaru drawled out enjoying the helpless looks on the demon's face.
"-he just appears sporadically. I have no control over his whereabouts…My Lady, please help your faithful servant." He rushed out all in one breath, turning to Shinjiru for help.
Shinjiru looked up from preening her feathers to looked boredly at the situation. Sesshoumaru's claws were glowing green, poised over Kotoba's head, ready to spill his blood on the concrete. She shrugged, saying, "Sesshoumaru, just don't let the blood spatter get on my wings." She smiled just as dangerously as her mate.
"You're both insane. That's why Fate has destined you two to be together. Because you're both completely and utterly insane. I hope you know, Kami doesn't take too kindly to her soldiers maiming her messengers." Kotoba ranted on, pointing accusing fingers at both the Rulers of old. Shinjiru had long since started to advance on the demon in her Lord's grasp, still holding that deadly smile.
"Three." Sesshoumaru's hand rushed forward, along side Shinjiru's sword, toward Kotoba's face. Kotoba raised his arms over his head to shield himself from the brunt of their blows, but a towering, forceful voice held their attacks at the last second.
"Sesshoumaru, Shinjiru, cease this childish behavior at once." Both attackers turned to focus on the owner of the voice, landing on none other than Inutaisho.
Shinjiru shook her head as a rush of memories and emotions crashed into her consciousness. Small, miniscule snippets of time spent with the revered Lord of the West, to intricate, drawn-out events and experiences with him. A tiny portion of herself surrendered to the memories and that tiny portion was the part that made her eyes light up and her face erupt in a smile as she rushed toward the taiyoukai to envelope him in a hug.
"My Lady." Inutaisho smiled warmly as he hugged the princess back. He pulled back and prostrated himself before bowing regally. "It warms me dearly to see you, my Lady."
"Lord Inutaisho, such stances do not become of you. Whatever happened to I bow to no one?" Shinjiru giggled. This man had been a father to her for the greater portion of her life during Sesshoumaru's courting rituals. The bond they shared was that of a father and his daughter.
"But, you are not no one. Just as my son is no one to you, you and he are no one to me." He answered with an endearing smile.
"Inutaisho's a poet, he didn't know it. Did you? Cause I never really pegged you for poetry." Shinjiru asked seriously. Inutaisho's chuckle brought a giggle to her lips.
"Sesshoumaru." Inutaisho greeted his son with a proud face and a straightened posture. Though he still held Kotoba by the collar, Sesshoumaru still looked all the part of the Western Lord. Both bowed to each other respectfully, before greeting the other more warmly with 'manly' hugs.
Inutaisho watched as Sesshoumaru's hand released Kotoba, only to reach for Shinjiru's. With a smile on their faces, both kneeled in unison.
"Our Lord, we hope that the West has been cared for to your approval in your absence." Both spoke respectfully. Inutaisho laughed outright at their display. Though the gesture was what protocol required, he had no intention of taking back the lands which rightfully belonged to his son.
"Rise. Care for those lands however you please. Just make sure you care for them period." He threatened with a sharp, but unnecessary look.
"Very well, our Lord." They spoke before the spell was effectively broken.
Sesshoumaru shook his head to relive himself of the rest of the spell. Shinjiru copied his actions while rubbing her temples. Inutaisho noted amusingly, not once did they release each other's hands.
"Sesshoumaru, I have been told that you two plan on mating, regardless of Kotoba's warnings. What of love? What of Naraku?" Inutaisho asked carefully. He knew the correct way to get answers from his son. This reincarnation was no exception.
"Father," Sesshoumaru's eyebrow rose at the title. He shrugged it off as the memories taking over more of him. "Shinjiru and I haven't officialized any plans as of yet, but we have been discussing the possibility, yes. Naraku will be dealt with should we decide to go through with it, but as for now, we don't know."
Shinjiru pulled her hand from Sesshoumaru's, staring into his questioning eyes. Not an hour ago, he had professed his willingness to mate. They had reached a decision, but apparently he was unwilling to say it to others yet.
Hurt and just a little angry, Shinjiru turned and ran toward the edge of the roofing. Her wings burst from her back as she jumped. The wind drifts from so high up carried her away from her would-be mate and to the beach not far from the hotel she was staying at.
Landing silently before a secluded cave accessible only by air, Shinjiru fell to her knees and wept brokenly. He didn't mean his words. How could he have and not spoken them proudly? He seemed more ashamed of his decision now that they learned of her pregnancy. Twins. How beautiful they must have been. Shinjiru thought with a whimper before falling into a fitful sleep.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru sat silently among the waves slowly washing up onto shore. Her thoughts had been silenced for today. She hadn't been back to the studio or the hotel in two days. If she stayed once more, it'd be three she had spent in solitude, without food, water, and hardly any rest.
She had snuck into her hotel room last night to grab her bathing suit. She knew her sister could sense her, but felt relieved when she did nothing to stop her from leaving once more. Somehow her sister could sense her thoughts and knew she needed space to think.
So, for the last two nights she had spent on the beach, she alternated between flying and swimming. Flying to relieve her thoughts and swimming just out of sheer boredom. The water was there, why not take advantage of it.
Steps behind her alerted her to a visitor. She had moments to turn, before a blade came toward her. Leaping away to miss the swing, Shinjiru reverted to her humanoid form and drew her swords. Standing before her, growling with reddened eyes was Sesshoumaru. The slight jagged edges to his markings told her he was in no mood to talk.
Growling, Sesshoumaru charged Shinjiru. He brought his sword down and missed her body, but arcs of power flew after her retreating form. He watched as she spun her swords before her, keeping the power from harming her. As soon as the blast had been deflected, she charged for him. Surprised at her willingness to fight back, Sesshoumaru was caught off guard.
Shinjiru hit him hard, sending them both to the sand. They wrestled, flipping over each other, until Sesshoumaru came out on top of her. She tried fighting him off, but had not enough elbow room for an effective thrust. He knocked her swords away and pinned her arms above her head. She struggled for some way out of his hold, but stilled. She had given up.
Sesshoumaru blinked when she stilled. Relieving a tiny amount of pressure on her wrists, he relaxed a little, knowing she would use his unguarded position to her advantage. He leaned back and growled.
"Where have you been?" Sesshoumaru demanded of her. Shinjiru looked to his face with a defiant glare.
"Where does it look like I've been? I'll go anywhere to get away from you." Shinjiru spat with all the venom and hatred she could manage. Just because he didn't realize what he'd said, didn't mean she hadn't. If he wanted to forget the agreement, then she could forget everything just as easily.
"Everyone's been worried sick. Kagome won't stop crying, your fellow band members refuse to even practice. Not to mention my father hasn't stopped glaring at me. You did all this just to get away from me?" He yelled at her with anger. It took everything in him not to punish her as mates do when their partner has disobeyed their orders.
"You have no sentiment toward me, why should I have any for you." Shinjiru whispered looking away from his now confused face. He got off of her and stood. She followed, but went to retrieve her swords. He cut off her path with a glare. "Move."
"Why do you need your weapons in my presence?" He sneered at her with an evil voice. "You've never needed them. You said yourself you feel safe in my presence."
"I feel nothing in your presence. I want my weapons should you decide to attack me again." Shinjiru hissed before darting around him and grabbing her swords. She inspected them for damage before sheathing them.
She turned to find him right behind her and dangerously close. She took a step back, but was held steady as Sesshoumaru held her in place. He brought her closer before closing the space between them in an abusive kiss. Shinjiru struggled against him in vain. Despite her words of hate, she still longed to feel him against her in the embrace she had yet to learn, a lovers embrace.
Sesshoumaru released a purr of satisfaction. Regardless of what she said, she still wanted this as much as he did. He released her arms and slid his hands to her waist, pulling her possessively closer. He slid his tongue against her lips, which parted immediately for him. She was warm and sweet, exactly how he thought she would be. Growling pleasurably, he uttered one word against her lips:
"Mine."
Shinjiru heard the growled word and stilled against him, her anger rising. How dare he! Shinjiru thought darkly before throwing him from her in a burst of youki. She glared at him for all she was worth. She hissed menacingly before speaking to him with vehemence. "I am no one's. Especially not yours!" She took to the skies, feeling him right behind her.
Hot on her heels, Sesshoumaru raced to catch up with her. One minute she was cursing, the next she was kissing him, then right back to cursing. ~If it were her heat, I'd have been driven mad by now.~ Sesshoumaru growled into his head.
Landing silently, Shinjiru ran fast for the door to the studio. Sesshoumaru's body collided with hers before she made it three steps. Kicking him off of her, she drew both her swords went on the offensive. Charging him, she slashed repeatedly at his chest, drawing bloodied lines through his clothes.
Sesshoumaru retaliated swiftly. He drew Toukijin and swung at her. Steel met steel time after time, each time she managed to meet his thrusts and block them from her body. She had yet to be marred by blade by the time the others heard the commotion and InuYasha and Kurama split them apart.
InuYasha pulled his brother from the fight and watched, stunned, as he collapsed. He slowly let his brother lean against the wall of the roof before turning to Shinjiru. She was panting heavily and still held anger in her eyes.
Inutaisho rushed to the roof with Kotoba close at his heels. What he found brought tears to his eyes. Still struggling to injure Sesshoumaru, Shinjiru pushed against Kurama restlessly. Whilst Sesshoumaru was nearly unconscious by InuYasha against the opposite side of the roof. He looked worse for wear. Shinjiru looked about ready to kill.
"What is going on here?" Inutaisho demanded. His confusion over the situation did little to help his anger. Here were two people who were supposed to love one another, one was ready to pass out and the other looked about ready to make him pass out-permanently.
"Father, I have no idea. We heard fighting and rushed up here just in time to pull them apart." InuYasha looked dejectedly at his brother. Sesshoumaru was never one to give up, but he looked about ready to.
"Shin, what is going on? I thought you two were supposed to mate?" Kagome asked innocently, unprepared for the reaction she received.
"I'd rather kill myself than mate that heartless bastard." Shinjiru hissed, her voice laced with hatred.
"Shinjiru!" Inutaisho boomed with a glare. "I will not have you speak that way. What has happened to cause such hateful words?"
"I'll tell you what happened." Shinjiru hissed, breaking from Kurama's hold. "He attacked me!" She yelled with an accusing finger at Sesshoumaru. "Then he kissed me. This was after of course blatantly lying to you about our mating. If he refuses to accept it, than I don't have to either."
"Did you ever think he had reason not to announce your mating?" Miroku asked carefully. Shinjiru was silent. But her whispered words reached all with demon hearing.
"If my reasons are wrong, then why did he attack me?" Tears slowly worked their way from her eyes to roll down her cheeks. She rushed toward Sesshoumaru once more, but this time Inutaisho held her at bay. "You said you loved me!" She yelled desperately. "Was it all a lie?!" She yelled again before fainting from overexertion.
Inutaisho held her bridal style and moved to carry her inside, but before he turned to the others. "Everyone go inside. InuYasha, you stay out here with Sesshoumaru. Don't let him leave." His tone left no room for argument. Everyone followed Inutaisho silently, trailing off to the studio as he went to another room to let her rest.
Setting her down, he noticed she was awake. Stroking her cheek, tenderly he smiled. "…Are you well?" He asked after a moment's hesitation.
She nodded silently before asking the one question on her mind. "Did I hurt him?" The whispered words were barely audible.
"He is fine if a bit shaken up. I believe you startled him." Inutaisho tried to make his voice light, but the look on his son's mate broke his heart. This would be the ultimate test for them. If they could forgive each other, they could defeat anything-even Naraku.
Realization struck Inutaisho. This fight, the other incarnations didn't have this fight. Sesshoumaru had always come out and stated their mating. Maybe this was sign that things would be different.
Inutaisho scented Shinjiru's tears and brushed them away. "Sesshoumaru will recover, are you sure you're well enough to be left alone?" He asked carefully. She nodded to him with a sincere smile.
"I really hope this changes nothing." Inutaisho whispered as he left.
"Me too." Shinjiru whispered back, a single tear escaping her eyes.
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There he sat in a meditative position in humanoid form. He had two swords laying by his side and armor covering his chest and torso. A snowy-white youkino lay lazily across his shoulder and pooled around his folded legs. The wind blew his hair from his face, revealing two magenta stripes marring his cheeks and a royal blue crescent moon emblazoned on his forehead. His billowy hakamas and haroi were all white with a red floral pattern on the shoulder and cuffs of his wrists. At the wrists, two more magenta stripes adorned his skin, leaving the question as to what they were for. Black boots finished off the look of old and Shinjiru smiled.
Taking a deep breath, she released the seals on her magic. Now in her place stood a red haired demoness. With completely black bangs framing her forehead, red framing her cheeks, and black hair at her nape she was a beauty. Her body was completely covered in a black gi with silver knee, shoulder, and elbow pads. The entire outfit was outlined in a frosty blue and was overall pleasing to the eyes. Two katanas were sheathed to her back in an X at the middle of her spine. A silver sash was tied at her waist and held another sword. At her temples were two stripes of silver outlined in black with a golden falcon wing at her forehead. Two icy blue boots hugged the contours of her feet and shins. With a brief breath, two massive white wings burst from her shoulder blades just below the sword hilts.
Shinjiru stretched her wings as she approached Sesshoumaru. He was still just sitting there and if she didn't know any better, she would've thought him asleep. A light haze drifted to the front of her mind and left her feeling dizzy and out of control. She shook her head to dispel the fog clouding her mind. Wordlessly, she sat down next to the silent Lord and studied the layout of the skyline. It was still a decent time of day and almost time for lunch, but the towers of metal and glass reflected the light, making it look just barely dawn. Sesshoumaru's voice woke her from her silent observations.
"Once we choose this we cannot turn back." He informed her, his eyes still closed off to the world. She knew it was to keep him from exposing his inner turmoil. His eyes gave way to everything.
"I know. You know as well as I do that this would mean forever." She said back, turning her eyes away from him to once again watch the skyline.
"I have spent enough of eternity alone and you as well have seen your own share of solace." He said in a monotone voice. His words were ever serious and left no room for humor.
"Yes." Shinjiru confirmed with a sigh. Life has left her alone for countless centuries and more of those centuries spent alone didn't sound too…comforting.
"…I know not how to ease your discomforts and make you feel loved, but I will not let you be alone. My words are as strong as they were then and be assured that I would die before they are ignored." He said finally turning to face her. A mixture of pain and longing flashed in his eyes, though he tried to suppress it.
"I heeded your words then, I shall heed them now." She said quickly. The haze strengthened and she turned to him, fully facing his watchful face. "Though, I think you know how to make me feel at peace."
He smiled at her before leaning toward her. Inches from her face he whispered, "Let us see." He sealed her lips with his in a light chaste kiss.
Being at contact with him broke her from the spell. Immediately they backed from each other, not knowing what to say. It seemed though, Sesshoumaru knew what to do. He brought her mouth back to his with vigor, apparently hungry for her taste. He licked at her bottom lip and was granted access. Plundering her mouth with his tongue-searching for what was unknown-brought a moan from both.
Shinjiru sat there, letting him coax her tongue into play. Slowly, she melted into him and ran her palms up his chest, across his shoulders, and trailed them up, letting them tangle in his hair. She felt herself being pulled onto his lap and tightened her hold on his hair.
A pleased rumble vibrated his armor and he pulled her further into his chest. He ran his claws up and down her back, eliciting small shivers. Her wings were soft and silky with just the right mix of strength and muscle. When she rubbed her thumbs against the backs of his ears, he dug his claws into her waist, drawing blood through the thick rubbery material. He felt her arch into him with a small hiss and pull away from his mouth. When he unclenched his hands, she looked at him in silent question.
Shinjiru felt his hesitation and wrapped her wings around their forms, shielding them from the world. "Tell me." She pressed with a nudge to his nose. He opened his mouth to voice himself, but another, unfamiliar voice from outside their white world stopped him.
"You two are mates."
Shinjiru unfurled her wings, letting them rest at her back. They watched the male in grey walk toward them. Shinjiru felt Sesshoumaru briefly tighten his hold on her, but released her after a small growl. The male was obviously old, but held a young spirit about him. He was simply dressed in grey hakamas and a haroi. His brilliant blue eyes held wisdom and honesty.
"What do you mean? We haven't mated." Shinjiru asked, still seated on Sesshoumaru's lap.
"In past lives, present, and future you two are mates. What you just experienced-the trance-like conversation-was a detail from your past lives that you have remembered. By joining with each other you will gain all of your memories and become true mates. Soul mates. Even though you aren't bonded yet, you are absorbing each other's familiar auras and presence, making you remember what was long ago lost." He said stopping a short distance from the two. Even though something about his words rang truth, Shinjiru just couldn't believe him. "It matters not if you believe me. I am simply here to warn you."
"Warn us of what?" Sesshoumaru asked. His voice too held skepticism.
"Should you two mate, the others will gain their memories. The ones you call friends and band mates will gain their memories and remember everything from the past. But…there is one amongst you that will harbor treacherous intentions. He will be the one to destroy you again." He spoke.
"Wait, again? You mean this has happened before?" Shinjiru asked.
"Yes. Enemies from the past have destroyed you to bring him to his knees." Sesshoumaru growled. "They used your love for her as a weakness to get to you. They raped her mind and violated her body. You fought for her, but when the creature killed her before you, you were broken. You too, fell before your enemy's feet, no longer able to hold your own. Here, I'll show you." He touched their foreheads and a blinding flash lit the area.
~*Memory*~
Shinjiru struggled for life as images of her beloved in the arms of another flashed before her eyes. Their intimate embrace brought tears to her eyes as she struggled to resist the lies. Her arms were bound behind her and she was kneeled down in the gore covered stone of what she guessed was a prison cell.
"Why resist it? Why deny it? Your lord was never really happy with you. The smiles, the pledges, and the so called 'love' he had for you were all false." An evil voice called from the opposite end of her cell.
"No." She whispered as the barrage of images ceased.
"Pardon?" she heard. She stood and glared up at the evil being holding her captive.
"NO! He would never betray me as I would never betray him. Do as you wish with me, but pray for death when he finds you-" She was slapped across the face, the blow almost breaking her jaw. She fell back onto her knees, breathing deeply to control herself. She knew if her youki flared the chains binding her would burn.
"Stupid bitch. Do what you want with her, but leave her just before death. I want her to look her best when her lord comes to save her." With that the cell door was shut and four growls surrounded her.
She breathed through her mouth for the next four painful hours. The scent of male arousal was sickening and their touches were most unwelcome. The mark on her neck burned with every climax her rapists met and silent tears streamed down her cheeks. She refuse to cry out or fight them, but instead curled her consciousness around the lingering power of her mate's protective magic. Praying for his swift arrival, she blacked out.
FLASH
She opened her eyes as she felt herself being thrown to the cool grass. In front of her was Sesshoumaru. She cried out to him, watching as hordes of youkai surrounded him, keeping her from him. With a wince, her wings burst from her back. She stood and stretched them, preparing for flight. The sound of a snap, followed by a deep pain in her shoulder blade made her fall back to her knees. She turned to find her captor with one of her wings in hand.
"You are not going anywhere. I want you here for his downfall." He said as he flung the bloody appendage away from them. Blood hungry youkai attacked the meaty, blood-soaked wing before it landed. Shinjiru looked away as they tore at the pride of her falcon heritage.
For hours her lord was relentless as he tore through youkai after youkai with his Toukijin. Eventually the crowds thinned out and he was able to charge the creature behind her, but not before going to her side.
"Are you alright?" He asked as he cradled her form.
"I am now. Being in your arms gives me all the comfort I'll ever need." Shinjiru said hugging him closer.
"What did he do to you?" He asked slowly. Suddenly Shinjiru was ripped from his arms and drug back to her captor.
"I did nothing but what she requested. An inventive little thing ain't she? I love this little bundle of nerves, especially right here…" he said as he slid his hand beneath the fold of her kimono.
"Enough!" Sesshoumaru roared, lifting his sword before him. "I am here to take my mate back. If I must go through you to do so, then so be it." With that he charged.
Shinjiru was once again throw away from the fight. She landed on her back with a thud as her mate fought the creature that had her taken. They fought relentlessly neither one making any advance over the other. Finally Sesshoumaru struck him hard against the chest, leaving him to stumble back. The thing looked over to her before smiling maliciously. He ran to her and picked her up by the neck.
"You may have beaten me, but I have a theory. What were to happen to you if she weren't here?" He asked as he ran a claw along her cheek.
"What do you mean?" Shinjiru asked, fearing the answer.
"What would your precious mate do if you weren't here as an incentive, to urge him along. What if your own mate magic weren't present in his mind. What if…he no longer had a mate to fight for?" Shinjiru's eyes widened as he grasped her neck and head.
"No! Shin…"
The last thing she remembered was a sharp twist to her head and her mate's fading voice. She fell, slowly it seemed into his arms, watching as the tears streamed down his bloodstained face. Watching his eyes grow cold before everything went black.
FLASH
"No!" Sesshoumaru shouted, holding tightly to Shinjiru's waist. He felt dampness and looked up. She was crying into his haroi. Crying because of the assault on her mind and body.
"My Lady…" The man started.
"No. No more." She called weakly into Sesshoumaru's haroi.
"Perhaps you should return after she is more rested." Sesshoumaru suggested, though for a reason unknown to him, he wanted to rip him to pieces and desecrate the building's rooftop with his blood. Inside he was seething at the audacity this demon had to just show up and presume to torture his mate's mind with images of past. ~Wait, she's not my mate…?~ He stood with Shinjiru still in his arms and walked away from the demon.
"Lord Sesshoumaru, I must warn you. If you mate with her the consequences would be destructive. If the evil is awoken once more…"
"Do not presume to threaten me. What I do is my business, no one else's. And do not call me 'Lord' that was in another life." Sesshoumaru finished as he disappeared down the stairs to the studio floor.
"No my Lord. That life has just become now." The man whispered to the nearing sunset.
"They didn't believe you?" A male voice asked from beside the man. With a sigh the man looked toward the newcomer. He was fairly tall with silver hair up in a high ponytail. Golden eyes held wisdom far beyond these times. He was dressed in modern clothes and his demon markings were hidden.
"Sadly, no. The woman seems to believe, but I think I over did a bit with her. I only meant to make her see the vision, not feel it. She may not want to see what I have to tell them." He laughed sheepishly. The demon beside him glared at him.
"You may very well have just pushed her into his arms. Shinjiru will seek comfort and Sesshoumaru is the closest thing she has. They still do not understand exactly what kind of bond they have. Talk to Sesshoumaru alone if she will not listen. But either way they must know." He said before turning away.
"I hope you're right my Lord." The elder of the two whispered.
~*~*~*~
"Oh my God! What happened to her?!" Kagome cried as Sesshoumaru walked by the studio doors carrying a bruised and somewhat bloody Shinjiru. He wasn't aware that she was actually reliving the experience. He could only imagine how she really felt.
"She is fine, we just had a minor…spar. She will heal in hours." ~Hopefully…~ He added mentally. He could only guess she would be fine in days. The mental trauma was sometimes unbearable.
He carried her to a small room with a bed in it. He gently laid her down and stood to retrieve gauze and antibiotic ointment to treat her wounds, but her hand rose up to grab his arm.
"Don't leave me alone." She whimpered, her eyes still tightly closed as if to ward off the images she relived. He nodded and sat down beside her shaking form. She was starting to bleed on the bed and her eyes were clouded over. He firmly grasped her shoulders and brought her body up against his.
"Don't faint on me." He said against her shoulder. She merely wrapped her arms around his waist and braced herself. Her wings burst from her back and laid limply against the blood-stained bed sheets. He noticed a bruise against the skin where her shoulder blade met her wing. Hugging her close as she whimpered from the assault, he whispered the one thing that sounded appropriate. "Don't leave me again." The whimpers ceased and she stopped shaking completely. Her body relaxed against his as she fell into a deep exhaustion-induced sleep.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru sat up immediately from the barrage of horrible images she had been exposed to in her slumber. Nothing but the words of another could erase the terrible deeds done to her mind. She looked around the room she was in. She vaguely remembered being moved after she had fallen asleep. She spotted the rise and fall of a chest beneath the blanket next to her. Sesshoumaru… He was asleep, but his features gave way to troubled dreams.
Getting up, she went to the bathroom and washed her face. When she came back she found Sesshoumaru sitting up in the bed, looking at her.
"Couldn't sleep." She offered lamely. It was the truth, but it felt like an empty excuse. "Did I wake you?"
"No. I had been conscious for some time. Your movements just roused me." He said into the darkness. He watched as she rotated her shoulders to get them awake.
"Do you mind if I…" She trailed off gesturing to her back. He nodded. With a small wince, her wings burst from her back and she stretched them carefully.
"Sore?" He questioned. She nodded absently. He had been awake with her since he moved her to his hotel room. Over the course of the time, her wings had folded and sank into her skin. It was amazing to see, but knew it caused her pain. He watched as she sat down at the foot of the bed, avoiding eye contact with him. On impulse he began singing.
"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"
She looked up at him surprised as he sang to her, the words were new to his tongue and it showed. But he sung it with such familiarity.
" 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore"
Shinjiru smiled up at him and closed her eyes. Letting the flow he created wash over her, she opened her mouth, letting the feel of the words coat her and protect her.
"The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"
They joined their voices together and sang. Slowly they inched together until she sat in his lap with her back pressed up against his chest. His arms wound around her waist as they sang.
" 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore"
Shinjiru relaxed into Sesshoumaru's embrace. It felt nice to have someone with her to ward off her nightmares. His arms tightened around her and he buried his face in her hair. She felt him inhale her scent and she smiled. She let her features relax even further and her demon markings melted into view. Her wings had sunk in during their song and she was content to just let them lay beneath her skin. His youkino came into view and it twitched lazily across her thighs.
"Shinjiru, I know now is not the best time, but we need to hear what that demon wants to warn us about." Shinjiru turned in his lap, straddling his thighs and looked him in the eyes.
"I will as long as he doesn't make us relive anything." She smiled lightly. He nodded.
"I promise." With that he pulled her beside him and laid back onto the bed. Cuddling her closer, he fell into a contented sleep. The only trouble he had was his inner demon's voice calling into his mind, ~My mate…~
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru cooed at the birds outside her window before nuzzling into the heat she felt at her side. A small sigh of contentment escaped her throat before she heard it echoed. She lazily opened her eyes to be met with swirling pools of gold. The warmth behind the mask shone to it's full extent and she smiled lightly, still half asleep.
"Morning." Sesshoumaru whispered tenderly as she continued to scoot closer to his warmth. He drew her closer with the arm that found it's way around her waist. He was in no hurry to get up. Ever.
"Not yet. If it's morning then that means I have to get up. I…I don't ever want to leave here." Shinjiru whispered into the ever brightening room. She held her breath that was as close to declaration as her voice would let her get. Sesshoumaru's stillness to little to help that fact. A single tear slid down her cheek to be lost in the sheets beneath her.
"Shin," Sesshoumaru's velvety voice echoed from behind her. Shinjiru shuddered as he lapped at the back of her neck. "You're as unsure as I am?" He whispered.
"Yes. No matter how much I try to brush it off, what that demon said scares me. I've never felt so uncontrolled when it came to my life and what I wanted." She turned in Sesshoumaru's embrace to face him. "I want what every heart wants. What hearts cry out for. The love of an incredible male. Now that I've found him," She whimpered, running her taloned fingers across the stripes at his cheeks. "I'll never have him."
Sesshoumaru pressed his forehead to hers, simultaneously closing his eyes with her. He breathed in her unforgettable scent and let an almost inaudible whimper escape him. He felt about as helpless as her voice and words said she did. And he hated it.
Shinjiru opened her eyes to stare at his face. His features gave way to troubles and she knew he was making a decision for himself. That decision would make or break them. If it made them, she would fight with every ounce of her strength to keep him. If it broke them, she would quit everything. The music, the highlife, life. Nothing would ever be the same if he couldn't fight for this. With a louder whimper she closed her eyes tight and held him closer.
Sesshoumaru searched every part of his being, no matter how insignificant, and picked at it. Every molecule in him screamed for her. Even the small part of him that was afraid to risk everything. He needed her. He would fight for her, die for her if only to let her live. Come whatever may, he would be there, standing by her side. Forever.
"Forever." The word escaped his lips with a small smile. He felt her sob with relief. He held her to him and kissed at her teared eyes. When those eyes opened to reveal the icy green he loved he kissed her lightly. They stared at each other in their chaste kiss. Every emotion reflected within their eyes they had no courage to say. Hope, fear, and a doubt as to the 'what ifs'. Love. Love was most prominent in both gazes. Sesshoumaru pulled away slowly. "I promise."
"Me too." Shinjiru whispered. He had made them. The time for uncertainties was passed, now was the time for fight. She leaned into him and took his lips in a kiss leaving him wanting before sitting up and sliding out of bed.
"Shin, what-" Sesshoumaru stopped as she turned to him with heated eyes. Eyes filled with lust.
"Get dressed so we can see what exactly that demon has to say. I want to know what I'm up against." Shinjiru explained, unsuccessfully hiding her desire. She took off her shirt before heading into the bathroom, leaving a stunned Sesshoumaru laying in the bed.
After both were dressed and ready to go, Sesshoumaru put a hand to her shoulder. She nodded to him, telling him the gesture was welcome, before stepping out into the lit hallway. Hand in hand, they made their way up to the roof. Their futures lay waiting in the dark shadows of what this demon's words held for them.
~*~*~*~
Kotoba held his breath as he spotted Sesshoumaru and Shinjiru walking through the door to the stairwell. This was a good sign, but the way they subtly gave way to each other wasn't. He knew by looking at their determined faces and close stances that they had made up their minds. He could only pray that the decision wasn't made in vain.
"Good morning. Lord Sesshoumaru, Lady Shinjiru." Kotoba greeted them with bows. Old habits die hard and he had been used to bowing to them as their time as Lord and Lady of the West was lived, however fleeting that was. He saw the glance of confusion Shinjiru sent him and chuckled.
"Before we start this, I want a few things clear. No more reliving things. My body, even in it's youth, cannot take the strain it was put through, by you. And I'm gonna need a name, I cannot keep referring to you as that demon from the roof. It makes you sound creepy." The demon's increased laughter made her tilt her head to the side in a moment of bird-like confusion.
"Forgive me, but you have changed little, Lady Shinjiru. My name is Kotoba. You used to refer to me as Toba in your past youth. But now the nickname is very unnecessary." Kotoba shrugged off his musings and smiled.
"We want to know of these warnings and what they entail should we decide to consummate. What exactly will happen?" Sesshoumaru asked stepping before Shinjiru as an unconscious way to keep her from the truth.
"Spoken like the Lord you are. Immediately after my Lady would be marked formally, the joining would be fevered as my Lord's lost hunger for his deceased mate would return. He could very well harm you seriously. While this is going on, your brother, his friends, and your friends, my Lady, would regain their memories and knowledge of their roles in past lives. No matter how insignificant, their roles would be played to the key, insuring the untimely destruction of all." Kotoba paused at the revelation in Shinjiru's eyes.
"The evil you spoke of before, it's Naraku, isn't it?" Shinjiru asked with a hiss.
"Very perceptive. Naraku the accursed half-breed who walked the Earth plaguing humanities' lives. Vile thing he was. He too would gain his memories and along with all else, his power. Lady Kagome and the monk Miroku would regain their holy powers. The taijiya, Sango, would be reunited with her lost companion, the neko Kirara. And whomever was mated would gain their marks once again. In essence, your former lives will consume your new ones, but you will still have all knowledge of this life, what you've done. But for those who had been explorations in the past of this life will have to suffer the burn from the mark." Kotoba watched as the news swept over both. They turned to one another and saw the questions. "I'll give you a moment."
With Kotoba out of hearing range, Sesshoumaru lighted eyes to his mate-to-be.
"Did you-" What was he doing? Of course she had. With her figure, personality, and beauty what man hadn't captured her in a moment of lust? Sudden jealousy swept him at the thought.
"Nope." Sesshoumaru stared at her in a whole new light. She had managed to keep her purity while still maintaining a certain sex appeal of experience. "I'm not a virgin to the arts, just to the actual act. I've given and taken, I've just never let someone take that. I don't care if you've explored or even given already. I l-" She was going to say she loved him all the same, but stopped herself. This was her presently, not the Lady of the West. "I like you still." The sentence sounded lame to even her ears. She could only imagine how it sounded to his.
"Oh." Sesshoumaru said dejectedly. He turned and called Kotoba back, ignoring the apologetic looks from the female beside him. "What would become of us? Would she really be captured and… tortured?" Sesshoumaru refused to say raped. He would prevent that from ever occurring.
"Inevitably. One way or another, Lady Shinjiru would be beaten and raped. Though not in the same manner. Naraku himself would most likely rape her, seeing as he has no slaves to do it for him. Your unborn children would die with her…Oh, drat. I wasn't supposed to say that. My Lord will kill me." He turned away from the stunned pair.
"Ch-Child? I was carrying his…pup?" Shinjiru asked as she fought not to faint. The news was extremely overwhelming.
"Pups. Twins, a boy and a girl. Beautiful they were." Kotoba mused, still unaware of the information he passed.
"You've seen them?" Sesshoumaru asked eagerly, his hands reaching unconsciously for Shinjiru's. He laced his fingers with hers as his imagination ran wild with images of his pups.
Shinjiru stared down at the clawed hand holding hers. His mood had suddenly changed at the new topic of conversation, completely forgetting that they would perish with her.
"Yes. In past lives, you had refused to listen and in one case were able to hold off Naraku long enough to see them born. But you never saw them, my Lord. Naraku had them killed before you were able to make it home to your mate and pups. You came home to-"
"Enough. I told you I didn't want to relive anything." Shinjiru said, silent tears streaming down her cheeks at his words. The multitude of images had come unbidden to her mind and she struggled to push them aside. Sesshoumaru's hand on her shoulder and presence in her mind relieved the aches in her head.
"Forgive me. Perhaps now, Kami be generous, you may have them and let them see what the world is like. With their parents in it." Kotoba smiled. This had gone better than he had even hoped. "Lord Inutaisho was right, his son was easier to talk to with Lady Shinjiru in his presence."
"Apparently." Shinjiru mumbled as Sesshoumaru advanced on the unknowing demon. Poor guy, was completely unaware that he had said that out loud.
"Kotoba, when did you last see my father." Sesshoumaru asked, making it sound like idle chat. If what he thought this meant than he had a chance to get better answers from a saner source.
"Why only a day ago. Why…crap." Kotoba held his hands up in innocence as Sesshoumaru lifted him off the ground by his collar. He closed his eyes tightly as Sesshoumaru's face turned menacing.
"Kotoba, you have three seconds to tell me where my father is. One."
"My Lord, I have no idea where your father is-" Kotoba cried out with his eyes still shut.
"Two." Sesshoumaru drawled out enjoying the helpless looks on the demon's face.
"-he just appears sporadically. I have no control over his whereabouts…My Lady, please help your faithful servant." He rushed out all in one breath, turning to Shinjiru for help.
Shinjiru looked up from preening her feathers to looked boredly at the situation. Sesshoumaru's claws were glowing green, poised over Kotoba's head, ready to spill his blood on the concrete. She shrugged, saying, "Sesshoumaru, just don't let the blood spatter get on my wings." She smiled just as dangerously as her mate.
"You're both insane. That's why Fate has destined you two to be together. Because you're both completely and utterly insane. I hope you know, Kami doesn't take too kindly to her soldiers maiming her messengers." Kotoba ranted on, pointing accusing fingers at both the Rulers of old. Shinjiru had long since started to advance on the demon in her Lord's grasp, still holding that deadly smile.
"Three." Sesshoumaru's hand rushed forward, along side Shinjiru's sword, toward Kotoba's face. Kotoba raised his arms over his head to shield himself from the brunt of their blows, but a towering, forceful voice held their attacks at the last second.
"Sesshoumaru, Shinjiru, cease this childish behavior at once." Both attackers turned to focus on the owner of the voice, landing on none other than Inutaisho.
Shinjiru shook her head as a rush of memories and emotions crashed into her consciousness. Small, miniscule snippets of time spent with the revered Lord of the West, to intricate, drawn-out events and experiences with him. A tiny portion of herself surrendered to the memories and that tiny portion was the part that made her eyes light up and her face erupt in a smile as she rushed toward the taiyoukai to envelope him in a hug.
"My Lady." Inutaisho smiled warmly as he hugged the princess back. He pulled back and prostrated himself before bowing regally. "It warms me dearly to see you, my Lady."
"Lord Inutaisho, such stances do not become of you. Whatever happened to I bow to no one?" Shinjiru giggled. This man had been a father to her for the greater portion of her life during Sesshoumaru's courting rituals. The bond they shared was that of a father and his daughter.
"But, you are not no one. Just as my son is no one to you, you and he are no one to me." He answered with an endearing smile.
"Inutaisho's a poet, he didn't know it. Did you? Cause I never really pegged you for poetry." Shinjiru asked seriously. Inutaisho's chuckle brought a giggle to her lips.
"Sesshoumaru." Inutaisho greeted his son with a proud face and a straightened posture. Though he still held Kotoba by the collar, Sesshoumaru still looked all the part of the Western Lord. Both bowed to each other respectfully, before greeting the other more warmly with 'manly' hugs.
Inutaisho watched as Sesshoumaru's hand released Kotoba, only to reach for Shinjiru's. With a smile on their faces, both kneeled in unison.
"Our Lord, we hope that the West has been cared for to your approval in your absence." Both spoke respectfully. Inutaisho laughed outright at their display. Though the gesture was what protocol required, he had no intention of taking back the lands which rightfully belonged to his son.
"Rise. Care for those lands however you please. Just make sure you care for them period." He threatened with a sharp, but unnecessary look.
"Very well, our Lord." They spoke before the spell was effectively broken.
Sesshoumaru shook his head to relive himself of the rest of the spell. Shinjiru copied his actions while rubbing her temples. Inutaisho noted amusingly, not once did they release each other's hands.
"Sesshoumaru, I have been told that you two plan on mating, regardless of Kotoba's warnings. What of love? What of Naraku?" Inutaisho asked carefully. He knew the correct way to get answers from his son. This reincarnation was no exception.
"Father," Sesshoumaru's eyebrow rose at the title. He shrugged it off as the memories taking over more of him. "Shinjiru and I haven't officialized any plans as of yet, but we have been discussing the possibility, yes. Naraku will be dealt with should we decide to go through with it, but as for now, we don't know."
Shinjiru pulled her hand from Sesshoumaru's, staring into his questioning eyes. Not an hour ago, he had professed his willingness to mate. They had reached a decision, but apparently he was unwilling to say it to others yet.
Hurt and just a little angry, Shinjiru turned and ran toward the edge of the roofing. Her wings burst from her back as she jumped. The wind drifts from so high up carried her away from her would-be mate and to the beach not far from the hotel she was staying at.
Landing silently before a secluded cave accessible only by air, Shinjiru fell to her knees and wept brokenly. He didn't mean his words. How could he have and not spoken them proudly? He seemed more ashamed of his decision now that they learned of her pregnancy. Twins. How beautiful they must have been. Shinjiru thought with a whimper before falling into a fitful sleep.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru sat silently among the waves slowly washing up onto shore. Her thoughts had been silenced for today. She hadn't been back to the studio or the hotel in two days. If she stayed once more, it'd be three she had spent in solitude, without food, water, and hardly any rest.
She had snuck into her hotel room last night to grab her bathing suit. She knew her sister could sense her, but felt relieved when she did nothing to stop her from leaving once more. Somehow her sister could sense her thoughts and knew she needed space to think.
So, for the last two nights she had spent on the beach, she alternated between flying and swimming. Flying to relieve her thoughts and swimming just out of sheer boredom. The water was there, why not take advantage of it.
Steps behind her alerted her to a visitor. She had moments to turn, before a blade came toward her. Leaping away to miss the swing, Shinjiru reverted to her humanoid form and drew her swords. Standing before her, growling with reddened eyes was Sesshoumaru. The slight jagged edges to his markings told her he was in no mood to talk.
Growling, Sesshoumaru charged Shinjiru. He brought his sword down and missed her body, but arcs of power flew after her retreating form. He watched as she spun her swords before her, keeping the power from harming her. As soon as the blast had been deflected, she charged for him. Surprised at her willingness to fight back, Sesshoumaru was caught off guard.
Shinjiru hit him hard, sending them both to the sand. They wrestled, flipping over each other, until Sesshoumaru came out on top of her. She tried fighting him off, but had not enough elbow room for an effective thrust. He knocked her swords away and pinned her arms above her head. She struggled for some way out of his hold, but stilled. She had given up.
Sesshoumaru blinked when she stilled. Relieving a tiny amount of pressure on her wrists, he relaxed a little, knowing she would use his unguarded position to her advantage. He leaned back and growled.
"Where have you been?" Sesshoumaru demanded of her. Shinjiru looked to his face with a defiant glare.
"Where does it look like I've been? I'll go anywhere to get away from you." Shinjiru spat with all the venom and hatred she could manage. Just because he didn't realize what he'd said, didn't mean she hadn't. If he wanted to forget the agreement, then she could forget everything just as easily.
"Everyone's been worried sick. Kagome won't stop crying, your fellow band members refuse to even practice. Not to mention my father hasn't stopped glaring at me. You did all this just to get away from me?" He yelled at her with anger. It took everything in him not to punish her as mates do when their partner has disobeyed their orders.
"You have no sentiment toward me, why should I have any for you." Shinjiru whispered looking away from his now confused face. He got off of her and stood. She followed, but went to retrieve her swords. He cut off her path with a glare. "Move."
"Why do you need your weapons in my presence?" He sneered at her with an evil voice. "You've never needed them. You said yourself you feel safe in my presence."
"I feel nothing in your presence. I want my weapons should you decide to attack me again." Shinjiru hissed before darting around him and grabbing her swords. She inspected them for damage before sheathing them.
She turned to find him right behind her and dangerously close. She took a step back, but was held steady as Sesshoumaru held her in place. He brought her closer before closing the space between them in an abusive kiss. Shinjiru struggled against him in vain. Despite her words of hate, she still longed to feel him against her in the embrace she had yet to learn, a lovers embrace.
Sesshoumaru released a purr of satisfaction. Regardless of what she said, she still wanted this as much as he did. He released her arms and slid his hands to her waist, pulling her possessively closer. He slid his tongue against her lips, which parted immediately for him. She was warm and sweet, exactly how he thought she would be. Growling pleasurably, he uttered one word against her lips:
"Mine."
Shinjiru heard the growled word and stilled against him, her anger rising. How dare he! Shinjiru thought darkly before throwing him from her in a burst of youki. She glared at him for all she was worth. She hissed menacingly before speaking to him with vehemence. "I am no one's. Especially not yours!" She took to the skies, feeling him right behind her.
Hot on her heels, Sesshoumaru raced to catch up with her. One minute she was cursing, the next she was kissing him, then right back to cursing. ~If it were her heat, I'd have been driven mad by now.~ Sesshoumaru growled into his head.
Landing silently, Shinjiru ran fast for the door to the studio. Sesshoumaru's body collided with hers before she made it three steps. Kicking him off of her, she drew both her swords went on the offensive. Charging him, she slashed repeatedly at his chest, drawing bloodied lines through his clothes.
Sesshoumaru retaliated swiftly. He drew Toukijin and swung at her. Steel met steel time after time, each time she managed to meet his thrusts and block them from her body. She had yet to be marred by blade by the time the others heard the commotion and InuYasha and Kurama split them apart.
InuYasha pulled his brother from the fight and watched, stunned, as he collapsed. He slowly let his brother lean against the wall of the roof before turning to Shinjiru. She was panting heavily and still held anger in her eyes.
Inutaisho rushed to the roof with Kotoba close at his heels. What he found brought tears to his eyes. Still struggling to injure Sesshoumaru, Shinjiru pushed against Kurama restlessly. Whilst Sesshoumaru was nearly unconscious by InuYasha against the opposite side of the roof. He looked worse for wear. Shinjiru looked about ready to kill.
"What is going on here?" Inutaisho demanded. His confusion over the situation did little to help his anger. Here were two people who were supposed to love one another, one was ready to pass out and the other looked about ready to make him pass out-permanently.
"Father, I have no idea. We heard fighting and rushed up here just in time to pull them apart." InuYasha looked dejectedly at his brother. Sesshoumaru was never one to give up, but he looked about ready to.
"Shin, what is going on? I thought you two were supposed to mate?" Kagome asked innocently, unprepared for the reaction she received.
"I'd rather kill myself than mate that heartless bastard." Shinjiru hissed, her voice laced with hatred.
"Shinjiru!" Inutaisho boomed with a glare. "I will not have you speak that way. What has happened to cause such hateful words?"
"I'll tell you what happened." Shinjiru hissed, breaking from Kurama's hold. "He attacked me!" She yelled with an accusing finger at Sesshoumaru. "Then he kissed me. This was after of course blatantly lying to you about our mating. If he refuses to accept it, than I don't have to either."
"Did you ever think he had reason not to announce your mating?" Miroku asked carefully. Shinjiru was silent. But her whispered words reached all with demon hearing.
"If my reasons are wrong, then why did he attack me?" Tears slowly worked their way from her eyes to roll down her cheeks. She rushed toward Sesshoumaru once more, but this time Inutaisho held her at bay. "You said you loved me!" She yelled desperately. "Was it all a lie?!" She yelled again before fainting from overexertion.
Inutaisho held her bridal style and moved to carry her inside, but before he turned to the others. "Everyone go inside. InuYasha, you stay out here with Sesshoumaru. Don't let him leave." His tone left no room for argument. Everyone followed Inutaisho silently, trailing off to the studio as he went to another room to let her rest.
Setting her down, he noticed she was awake. Stroking her cheek, tenderly he smiled. "…Are you well?" He asked after a moment's hesitation.
She nodded silently before asking the one question on her mind. "Did I hurt him?" The whispered words were barely audible.
"He is fine if a bit shaken up. I believe you startled him." Inutaisho tried to make his voice light, but the look on his son's mate broke his heart. This would be the ultimate test for them. If they could forgive each other, they could defeat anything-even Naraku.
Realization struck Inutaisho. This fight, the other incarnations didn't have this fight. Sesshoumaru had always come out and stated their mating. Maybe this was sign that things would be different.
Inutaisho scented Shinjiru's tears and brushed them away. "Sesshoumaru will recover, are you sure you're well enough to be left alone?" He asked carefully. She nodded to him with a sincere smile.
"I really hope this changes nothing." Inutaisho whispered as he left.
"Me too." Shinjiru whispered back, a single tear escaping her eyes.
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