InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Tears of a Broken Soul ❯ Making Up & Breaking Up ( Chapter 3 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: celestialmoon 
Singing is therapy for the broken soul and to Shinjiru music can heal all wounds. But what happens when it's the music that's against her?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 03.24.2005 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.7K | Visits: 137 | Status: Work In Progress
Singing is therapy for the broken soul and to Shinjiru music can heal all wounds. But what happens when it's the music that's against her?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 03.24.2005 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.7K | Visits: 137 | Status: Work In Progress
Ch. 3
Sesshoumaru watched her struggle through half lidded eyes. Watch her try to charge him, then watched her cry out to him pleadingly.
"You said you loved me! Was it all a lie?!" She had fainted after arguing her last stand.
"I do." He whispered the words he couldn't get out after his father took her to rest.
"Maybe you should tell her that." InuYasha's voice advised from before him.
"I…I don't know what happened. When she left I was so worried, even for days after. But when I went to find her I was so angry,"
"Blind rage." Inutaisho's voice informed him from the doorway. "You had no idea what you were doing. And she was retaliating the best way she knew-getting angry herself. Those words she said were said to make you feel her pain. That's all she meant by them." He spoke before helping his eldest to his feet.
"How-" InuYasha started.
"I know her. Shinjiru-no matter what incarnation or form she's in-is still Shinjiru. After helping her into a bed, she wanted to know if you were hurt. After assuring her of your safety, she cried because of what she'd done. Though in the interest of both of you, I'd let her collect herself and give her space." Inutaisho added the last as an after thought, should Sesshoumaru decide to talk to her.
"I think she'll come to me when she's ready." Sesshoumaru assured his father's hinting. "For now, I just want to see a bed."
With InuYasha's help, Sesshoumaru was led to another room. Away from Shinjiru's. Before InuYasha left he turned to his brother and smiled.
"I think things will work out." InuYasha soothed.
"For both our sake, I hope it does." Sesshoumaru whispered in return before laying on the bed and falling immediately to sleep.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru sat up days later and made her way to the studio. Greeted by Inutaisho and InuYasha's group, she smiled at their faces.
"How ya feelin'?" Kagome asked with a small smile.
"Tired and I have the biggest headache. You guys know where there's some aspirin or something?" Shinjiru asked. Shippo hopped over to his bag and produced a bottle of Tylenol. Taking it gratefully, Shinjiru downed two pills and took a swig from Miroku's offered bottle of water. "Ah, that's so much better."
"What are those?" Sango asked pointing down to the pieces of paper in Shinjiru's hand. Shinjiru smiled coyly.
"These are some lyrics I had jotted down months ago. I had lost the feel for them, but with the current…events I finished them. Wanna see?" With nods all around, the papers were passed from one person to another, ending with Inutaisho.
"My dear, these are beautifully written. Do you have music for them yet?" Inutaisho asked hopefully re-reading through one in particular.
"Luckily I do. I figured I'd finish them eventually, so with much bitching from my friends, we recorded music." Shinjiru produced a tape from behind her and hopped on stage. "You wanna hear some?"
"Please." Miroku encouraged as he leaned back to enjoy the show.
"Any requests?" Shinjiru asked looking up from her task at the stereo on stage. Inutaisho was the first to speak.
"I would dearly love to hear "Looking Through your Eyes" if possible." Shinjiru's face brightened up considerably at the request.
Bowing with a giggle, Shinjiru said, "It would be my pleasure to sing for his Lordship." Turning back to the stereo, she fiddled with it before returning to the front of the stage. Hooking one of the headsets into the cable for microphones, she smiled into the microphone as the music played into the background.
"Look at the sky
Tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes
And describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling
With starlight tonight
That's what I see
Through your eyes"
~*~*~*~
Sesshoumaru held his breath outside the stage door as Shinjiru began signing. She still had the voice of an angel despite the fact that there was a distinct sadness to her words.
He opened the door quietly and slipped inside to watch the heavenly being express herself. Scanning the other occupants of the room, he noted that his presence was undetected. To all but one. His father looked back at him with a slight scowl before turning his eyes back to Shinjiru.
Sesshoumaru held in his urge to scream. It was his fault, whatever he'd done had made her mad beyond recognition. Only he could fix this. He'd do anything to bring a smile to her face and life into her eyes.
"I see the heavens
Each time that you smile
I hear your heartbeat
Just go on for miles
And suddenly I know
My life is worth while
That's what I see
Through your eyes"
~*~*~*~
Inutaisho knew the moment his son had walked in. He had given him the "I'm not pleased with this" look and turned back to his daughter. Despite the fact that she looked happy, he knew better. She sang for therapy, she'd told him once; not just for pleasure or because she was good at it. She sang to lift herself up. Judging by how well she was singing now, she was in immense pain.
Inutaisho sighed heavily. *I hope they learn to overcome this. As much as I don't want Naraku to come back, I'd rather have a Lord and Lady of the West than a Lord and no Lady.*
Taking a deep, filling breath, Shinjiru opened her mouth and sung her heart out. Only one thought echoed through her head, Sesshoumaru…
"Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes"
Shinjiru scanned the audience, finding a set of eyes as pained as hers.
Sesshoumaru stared into her eyes. Tears slid past her cheeks to drop onto the ground beneath her. How he wanted to hold her and erase her fears. To tell her how much he loved her and how badly he wanted to mate her.
Shinjiru stared deeply into his eyes, letting their depths guide her voice.
"I look at myself
And instead I see us
Whoever I am now
It feels like enough
And I see a girl
Who is learning to trust
That's who I see through your eyes
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes"
Shinjiru blinked past her tears to gaze at the retreating form of Sesshoumaru. Taking a deeper breath, her voice filled with raw emotion, she sang.
"And there are some things we don't know
Sometimes a heart just needs to go
And there is so much I'll remember
Underneath the open sky with you forever"
Sesshoumaru turned to look at her. Her words had startled him. Was she saying-?
"Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes…
I still love you."
She smiled through her pain before fainting from emotional fatigue. She felt two strong arms wrap around her before she met the ground and a deepened voice called her name.
"Shinjiru…" Sesshoumaru called as he cradled her limp form. He turned to look at the others standing at the edge of the stage. Shocked faces met him and he gently set her down. "Tend to her." He asked of them before adding a whispered, "Please." He attempted to leave, but his father's commanding voice halted his steps.
"Sesshoumaru, you tend to her. I think you both need a little time together to get over what has been stressing you. Take her to the castle and both of you, rest." He told his son.
Nodding his agreement, InuYasha spoke. "You guys need each other. More than either of you know. Tell her what you feel, you might be surprised to hear what she has to say."
"Very well." Sesshoumaru replied silently. He picked up his burden and walked from the faces of the ones he had come to call family and friends. ~Maybe things would be fine.~ Sesshoumaru mused to himself, recalling his brother's words.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru woke slowly, opening her eyes to an unfamiliar room. She sat up immediately, recalling what had happened before her unconscious state. She had told him she still loved him. But why did it still hurt to think about him.
"My head hurts." Shinjiru mumbled to herself as her hands came up to hold her throbbing head. Two hands reached out from nowhere to grasp her wrists. Shinjiru shrieked and her youki jumped to defend her. She closed her eyes before hearing a crash followed by a grunt. Opening her eyes, Shinjiru was met with the far wall crashed in.
She stood slowly, still feeling light-headed from her headache, and walked cautiously toward the figure she threw into the wall. She stepped carefully through the rubble and picked her way through debris. She pulled a large piece of stucco from over a moving pile and gasped.
"Oh my gosh! Sesshoumaru, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" Shinjiru asked as helped to pick the rest of the remains of the wall from over Sesshoumaru. "I'm so sorry. You startled me." She offered as he stood.
"It's fine. This used to be my room and I can't remember how many times I've thrown InuYasha into this wall. It was bound to get destroyed again." He gave her a small smile as he walked from the wreckage. He winced as he sat at the foot of the bed.
"You're hurt." Shinjiru said as she gestured to the smear of blood on Sesshoumaru's stomach.
Sesshoumaru stood and walked through the door connecting his room to the bathroom. He opened the mirror and took out some medical supplies. Taking what was needed, he made his way back to his room. He set the supplies down and grabbed for the gauze, when a hand slapped his away.
"Let me do it. It's the least I could do since I hurt you." Shinjiru offered with a smile. He nodded his consent and watched as she looked at him as if waiting. He cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner. She giggled. "That's too cute. I can't treat you unless I can see the wound." A light blush dusted her cheeks as she pulled at the shoulder of his shirt.
Sesshoumaru turned from her slightly before smirking lightly as he grabbed the hem of his shirt. Slowly pulling it over his head, he made sure to give Shinjiru a tease as the muscles on his back flexed with his every move. He scented the air before turning to her, dropping the shirt beside him on the bed.
Shinjiru swallowed hard. She had never seen him without his shirt on and suddenly felt drained now that she had. Quickly kneeling to save her the embarrassment of getting weak in the knees, she pulled the items she needed from beside Sesshoumaru's soiled shirt and set to work.
Sesshoumaru silently praised her. If she was aroused, she hid it well. She even looked too busied with her task to notice. ~Probably doesn't want to let it show.~ He mused as she applied antibiotic crème to his injury. Luckily the crème had to be applied with her fingers. He couldn't help but notice how she slowed in her ministrations to enjoy the feel of his bare skin. He held in a groan as she brushed over his only ticklish spot. Though, somehow the spot seemed more pleasured than tickled.
Shinjiru applied the last of the crème with a sigh. He had the best abs she had ever seen. They were rippled, but not to the point of bulging and firm. But at the same time, they were soft and pliant. She could only guess how many different ways he could bend. Uh, head out of the gutter. You two are fighting remember? But still, I wouldn't mind seeing how much he could bend. Bend over me. Shinjiru finished the thought with a blush and a mental giggle.
Taking the gauze in both hands, Shinjiru pressed one end to his stomach. His muscles jumped under her fingers, screaming for more contact. She had him hold that spot in place and wrapped the gauze around his torso. She had to fight herself not to blush when she would wrap her arms around him to switch the gauze into her other hand to bring it back around to the front. Finished with her task, she cut the gauze with her talon and taped it down securely to his injury.
"There, all done." Shinjiru said quickly. She jumped to her feet and backed away, not at all trusting herself with her current thoughts.
Sesshoumaru was after her immediately. He took hold of her wrist and pulled her lightly toward him. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes and he couldn't help but love her impossibly more. "Shin," He whispered before hauling her against his chest and pulling her lips in for a brutal kiss.
Shinjiru immediately sank further into him as she opened for his tongue. Her hands found their way to his sides as she held onto him as he plundered her mouth.
Sesshoumaru groaned at her taste. She tasted even better than she smelled and she smelled delicious. A long forgotten memory swept over him of their former selves during mating. He could only watch as he pounded into her writhing frame, not holding in his outside reaction. His claws sunk into her biceps, causing her to hiss into his mouth and sink her talons into his injured side. The action wouldn't have hurt so badly if she had his claws, but she had talons which were infinitely sharper than his.
Whimpering, Sesshoumaru pulled away from her. Her talons retracted and she backed away as if ashamed. But it was he who should've been ashamed. He made the move to kiss her, he knew they were still fighting, and he knew that his outward actions to the memory would be aggressive. He knew, but that did nothing to stop him.
"I-I'm sorry." Shinjiru sad backing further from him. Her lips still tingled from his kiss and she felt dirty because of it. She still loved him, regardless of the harm she caused him or the words she threw at him.
"No." Sesshoumaru replied. Shinjiru looked at him questioningly. "I was the one to kiss you, not the other way around." He stepped toward her, brushing his fingers over the crescent shaped wounds on her arms. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You have every right to after what I've said and done to you." Shinjiru told him quietly as her eyes sought the floor. Tears streamed down her still flushed cheeks because of her inner pain.
"Those things you said, were said because I caused you pain. I had no right whatsoever to harm you. I deserved those words." Sesshoumaru replied as he walked back to the bed.
"Maybe we should start from the beginning. That way, we can work our way through everything." Shinjiru suggested as she sat beside him.
Sesshoumaru turned to her, taking her hands in his own before taking a deep breath. "I want to know why you reacted so negatively to my words to my father."
"You had told me that you were willing to fight for us. Yet in front of your father you told him differently. It hurt to think that what you had told me may not have been the truth." Shinjiru said as she held her tears at bay. Music was her therapy, not talking. When she sung she could mask her meaning with words, using them for different purposes. This was straight out talking, everything was laid out on the table with no holding anything back. She had to tell him everything without using words as double standards to mask her meanings. It was harder than she wanted to admit.
"I was not lying to you. Though, I should have told my father the whole truth. I thought that since we had more information than previously that we should talk further about the decision to mate. We're not just talking about us anymore." Sesshoumaru cupped her cheeks, bringing her eyes to meet his. "We made life; we have pups to think about. I didn't think you'd want to subject them to either death or living without their parents in a world they know nothing about. They would've lived knowing nothing about where they came from, their ancestry, or received proper training. I didn't want to do that to my family." Sesshoumaru reassured her, wiping away her tears.
"I'm sorry. I was so overwhelmed with Inutaisho's arrival and the news of pups and I wasn't thinking so much half the time. It hurt to really think about anything. So many factors would pop up and I was just so drained I couldn't think straight. Therefore, I never thought of your reasons for reconsidering our mating." Shinjiru forced out as tears made their way to her face.
"And I forgive you for that." Sesshoumaru whispered. "But that gave me no reason to attack you. You had been gone for two days without so much as a word on whether or not you were fine. For all I knew you could've been laying in a ditch somewhere. It killed me, so I set out to find you. When I did I just blacked out. I became so mad that you had shown no regard to my feelings to even let me know you were safe. My father called it blind rage and I was. Blind to the fact that you were lashing out at me because you had no idea what to do. You were trying to understand my actions and by doing so you yourself got angry. My rage did nothing for our situation and I apologies for it."
"Rage did nothing for either of us. I was so desperate to hurt you the way you'd hurt me that I just lost it. The attacks, the words, the hateful tone they were said in, I meant none of it. Afterward I was so stricken with what I did, I toyed with the idea of running away, injuring myself to repent. Luckily your father had made me promise a long time ago that if things looked so hopeless that I would not degrade myself by harming myself or others. Pain does nothing to help anyone. This just proved it." Shinjiru smiled through her tears at the memory.
"What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. How can you get stronger if you're the one dead?" Sesshoumaru pointed out as words of wisdom. Shinjiru giggled and nodded.
"What an excellent point. I think we covered everything, unless of course something else is troubling you."
"Well, not so much troubling me as to making me curious. How could our past situation cause you to be so inspired to finish love songs?" Sesshoumaru asked. Deep down he thrilled at the answer he thought-hoped-was coming. Seeing her smile brightly, made him believe it all the more.
"Because, I still loved you. Even if I had questions as to whether or not you loved me, my heart has been yours through countless lifetimes. Why should this one be any different? Wherever this started, my first incarnation had the best taste in males to choose you and I'm glad she mated you. This way, I get to have you to myself as well." Shinjiru giggled.
"So you want to have the mating talk now? Before we tease each other silly, I think we should talk about our options first."
With a nod from Shinjiru, Sesshoumaru took her hand and led her downstairs where dinner was calling to them.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru smiled as she plucked at the strings of her guitar. She had another song already. She had been struck with the inspiration bug after her talk with Sesshoumaru. During dinner they talked about their mating. Sesshoumaru thought it would be for the best if they waited until they could contain Naraku. He had been M.I.A. for the last couple of weeks; not even his band mates had been present. It was odd.
Shinjiru laughed as Kagome told her the story of InuYasha's first rehearsal. He had stormed in and screamed out the song he had written for the band. Right after the song was over he started coughing uncontrollably. Immediately following his coughing fit, he belched. Right into the microphone.
"Hey, I had just eaten!" InuYasha defended from backstage. Shinjiru laughed again.
"The first time I went on stage, we were given these butt-ugly outfits and, me being the lead, had the ugliest. It was this baby blue mini skirt with this god-awful pink shirt that said rock on. I had pink and black converse to "match". I almost threw up before the show because I was so repulsed." Shinjiru shuddered as InuYasha fell over laughing. Kagome threw a water bottle at him. He got up and went backstage to help with the equipment.
"And everybody had to wear them? Your sister actually wore something like that?" Sango asked from beside Kagome, astonished. Shinjiru giggled while shaking her head.
"Hell no. Sitora deemed the clothes unworthy of her and burned them on the spot. She was the only one wearing normal clothes. I still have people approach me and ask for my autograph on that picture. Ewwie…" Sango laughed at Shinjiru's grossed face.
"Back to business, what's this new song you wanna do and why aren't your band mates here?" Kagome asked as Shinjiru played another haunting chord on her bass. The way she made the notes sound so eerie was a puzzle. She had only heard Shinjiru play like that; it was beautiful.
"Well," Taking a deep breath, Shinjiru got it all out in one breath. "HitodisappearedwithHiei,Kasouhadtogo toherparent'sforafamilyreunion.Shesaidt'dtakeatleasttwoweeks,Hitoneverspeci fiedwhatshewasdoing, justthatshewasnottobedisturbed.Finally,Sitorasupposedlyhadherheat,conveinie ntlyduringthis,soherandKuramawentofftofuck." Taking another deep breath, Shinjiru sighed. "I think that's pretty much the gist of that. The song is just something a dream of mine inspired. I wanted to know if a few of you wanted to help out."
"Yeah, I'll lend my fingers." Kagome looked to Sango.
"I guess I could play my electric in place of your sister, but I don't think I can make mine scream the way she can. You two can get the weirdest sounds from your instruments, how?" Sango asked as she tuned her guitar.
"Lots of practice, like tons of practice. We started early on and got a few professional lessons, from there on it was trial and error. Self teaching basically; we would experiment all the time too. Every little counts." Shinjiru said as she produced a small scream from her bass. "Hey, Rin, you think your Sesshoumaru-sama would let you beat on something for me?" Shinjiru yelled toward the backstage area.
Rin's head popped out from around the corner and a smile was plastered on her face. She smirked devilishly and ran over to join the girls. Giggling, she said, "Anything to get out of moving equipment." The group laughed.
InuYasha, Miroku, Sesshoumaru, and Shippo walked around the corner Rin had just came around. All four of them were shirtless and sweaty. Seeing Rin with the others instead of helping him like she insisted made Sesshoumaru roll his eyes in their general direction.
"What are you going on about?" InuYasha asked as he took a giant swig of the water bottle in his hand. Beads of sweat were slowly trailing salty paths down his face and chest as his head tilted farther back to get more of the water down. Kagome was gulping heavily from next to him on the floor.
"Nothing your "multi-talented ness" could do. How 'bout you Sesshoumaru? Would you mind getting a brake from moving for a while to help me out?" Shinjiru asked with a pout.
Smirking, Sesshoumaru walked over to her and planted a kiss on her pouty lips. He smiled against their silky surface, before pulling away. "Not at all. What do you have in mind?"
"Here," Shinjiru said passing around music sheets. "this is the music for what I have in mind."
"Where's the lyrics?" Mirkou asked from beside InuYasha.
Smiling devilishly, Shinjiru pointed to her head. "All in here, you'll just have to wait to find that out."
~*~*~*~
Sesshoumaru watched Shinjiru as she interacted with her friends. She had changed so much from their fight. If he would've known that such a small thing could set her off, he would've talked to her long ago. Letting her sit in that room beside the stage entrance wasn't good for either of them. She finished off some songs, sure, but finishing those songs only made their situation worse. It did, however, give him the chance to talk to her, but he never should've waited so long in the first place.
Shinjiru felt familiar eyes on her and turned. Sesshoumaru was staring at her. Probably so intently, he didn't know that she was looking back at him.
Smiling warmly, Shinjiru walked over to him. She watched as his eyes became aware of her and looked to her. Smiling once more, she asked, "Are you okay? You look concentrated." He smiled at her in turn.
"I'm fine, just grateful."
"Grateful for what?" Shinjiru stilled as he leaned toward her and brushed his lips over hers. She gasped against his lips purposefully, letting his tongue into her mouth.
Sesshoumaru took his hands away from his guitar to wrap them around her waist and pull her closer. He smirked as she gasped once more as she was pulled onto his lap, the only thing separating them was Sesshoumaru's bass, still sandwiched against his chest.
Pulling slowly away from their heated kiss, Sesshoumaru laid a final kiss to her lips before watching her face. Her eyes opened slowly revealing their evergreen hues, which were slowly melting to silver green. He nudged at her nose once with his, recalling the gesture at their first intimate embrace. "I'm grateful for you." He clarified before helping her off his legs.
Shinjiru wobbled a bit, but once she regained her footing, decided not to go near Sesshoumaru any more than necessary. A few more strategically placed kisses like that and she didn't care who was watching, the wait to mate would be nonexistent. She was hungry for him already, times like this only served to turn that hunger into a craving for something long starved of.
Going back to Kagome and Sango, ignoring their smirks, she helped them with the music.
~*~*~*~
"Everybody ready?" Shinjiru yelled behind her. With either nods or verbal conformation, she signaled the music's start. Sesshoumaru stood teasingly close to her as he played her bass. Being unable to play her own because she had to concentrate on the words, Sesshoumaru played her bass for her, the only one to be able to come close to her style.
At the cue, the piano Mirkou was seated at began it's light melody. Sesshoumaru's finger plucked at the chords slowly as Rin lightly tapped on her drum set. Taking a deep breath, Shinjiru opened her mouth, giving the haunting words release.
"I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better
But I will know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection
I just can't help but wonder,
Which of us do you love"
Shinjiru held her tears at bay in remembrance. This song wasn't about a dream that she had, it was about a memory. Though, it this point, she really didn't want to remember a lot of the things her past lives had gone through. Most of what she'd seen and heard had been horrible. She couldn't help but wonder if she'd go mad once she re-remembered all of her memories.
"So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe
I breathe no…
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more"
Smiling secretly to herself, Shinjiru slowly backed away from the microphone, letting the music trail off. Turning to her slack-jawed companions, Shinjiru clapped her hands together.
"So what'd you think?" Shinjiru was so excited to hear what her closest friends had to say.
"That was the creepiest, coolest song I think you've ever written. I love it." Kagome said with a smile as she popped her fingers. Turning to Sango and Rin, Shinjiru smirked at their shocked expressions. Rin even held her drumsticks in the position they were in for the last note.
"I'll take your expressions as thumbs up. Mirkou, InuYasha?"
"I thought it rocked." InuYasha said turning to Miroku for support.
"It was very unique. I liked it as well." He added with a smile.
Shinjiru skipped over to Sesshoumaru and pouted cutely. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her antics and gave her a millisecond smile before leaned toward her ear.
"I liked it as well. I would love to hear your others and don't tell me you don't have any more. I know you and you just don't pop out lyrics like this without having at least five more." He whispered. He smirked at her shiver before pulling away. Shinjiru smiled brilliantly as if he hadn't turned her on.
"Thank you, Sesshoumaru. Your opinion is really the only one that counts." Various objections and accusations at being ungrateful were shouted rather loudly in the pair's direction. Shinjiru held her hand to silence their words. "First of all, OUCH! That's my ears! Second of all, I was only kidding." She said as she winked at Sesshoumaru.
"Sure you were..." InuYasha grumbled. Shinjiru patted him on the head and smiled.
"Okay, who wants to eat, cause I'm starving." Shinjiru asked excitedly. Every nodded.
"Can't have you starving now can we?" Sesshoumaru smirked at her teasingly.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru moaned against the mouth covering hers. His hands roughly explored her body, tearing her clothes off as they went. He straddled her waist and his mouth moved from her lips to her neck. He nibbled and bit on her pulse before moving on to the juncture of her neck and shoulder and licking at it lovingly.
"Ughn..." Shinjiru tried to get out a stop, but it wouldn't come. They shouldn't be doing this, he said he didn't want to, they shouldn't. But god it felt incredible...
"Don't resist me...we both want this." He whispered against her breast. He suckled on her nipple as his left hand came up to massage the neglected breast. Shinjiru arched into the hold and moaned louder. His right hand wasted no time in playing with her clit, flicking the little bundle of nerves until Shinjiru let out a small scream.
"Oh...Kami..." Shinjiru gasped out as he left her momentarily, just to reappear between her thighs and lick the fluids leaking from her. Shinjiru's eyes burst from their sockets at the sensation and she buried her fingers in his short hair.
Short hair?
Shinjiru looked at the black hair between her fingers and gasped. This wasn't Sesshoumaru. She growled in fury and pulled the head up by the hair. Naraku's triumphant red eyes looked to hers and he had a smile on his haunting face.
"What are you doing here?" Shinjiru demanded. His smile widened and he reached for her again.
"Nothing you didn't want me to." He laughed. Shinjiru pulled him closer, feeling Sesshoumaru nearby. Her eyes narrowed as her youkai features melted onto her body. She smelt his arousal spike and growled.
"You would do well not to touch what is not yours." Sesshoumaru voiced as he pulled her away from the now angry male. She let herself be pulled and turned to face him before curling into his chest.
The world surrounding them rippled before disappearing completely.
"That was what started everything." A female said from behind her. Shinjiru turned and smiled at seeing the long forgotten Lady of the West.
"Lady Hanshou." Shinjiru acknowledged before bowing. She did feel a little embarrassed at being naked before the first Lady, but she deserved respect.
"Rise, child." Shinjiru stood, feeling material flow as she straightened. She looked down to find herself in a beautiful black kimono with pink sakura blossoms dancing along the bodice and sleeves. Looking back up to the white garbed female who's dress was very similar to Sesshoumaru's, she nodded.
"I was unable to remember that much. Was I willing to bed both?" Shinjiru asked turning her head from facing the Lady's judgment.
"No. You were in love with my son so you have no reason to be shamed. The hanyou wanted your body and took on Sesshoumaru's form to get it." She stepped toward Shinjiru and smiled before giving her a hug. "You have no idea how happy you've made Sesshoumaru and Inutaisho. I know they are both with you now."
Shinjiru pulled away and shook her head. "I can do only what you didn't finish. They both miss you very much."
"I know, tell them I love both of them very much. Now, the time is at hand."
"Now, but we haven't...mated yet." Shinjiru blushed lightly. Talking about mating wasn't something she wanted to in front of said mate's mother.
"You will. I know it has been hard for both of you to keep from each other. You two never were one to keep your explorations light. The best thing for both of you is to start the mating and get it over with, this way Naraku will rear his ugly head and you may begin planning his death. I have complete faith you will succeed this time around. Inutaisho has noticed as well as I have that a few events that you two have gone through have not happened in the past. I have a good feeling about this." She hugged Shinjiru once more before moving back to bow. When she rose she said, "I leave both my boys in your hands. Goodbye Lady of the West, keep your lands safe."
The dream rippled once again before Shinjiru opened her eyes. She blinked twice before rising. She was in Sesshoumaru's hotel room again, his sleeping form lay just inches from hers. Recalling the dream, she reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair from his face behind his ear. She pulled her hand away in time to watch his markings melt into place. He turned to her and sighed in his sleep. "Shin..."
Shinjiru smiled and giggled lightly. "Sesshou..." She called back.
"You know, some people would rather be left to their dreams than laughed at." Sesshoumaru's left eye opened and looked up at her smiling face. Shinjiru waved him off.
"Nope, not me." She tried to get off the bed and away from Sesshoumaru's grabbing hands, but he grabbed her waist and pulled her against his chest. He tickled her sides until she gasped out a, "Stop." He released her and watched as she melted into his chest and sighed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer while burying his nose in her hair.
"Sesshoumaru?" Shinjiru asked quietly. Hearing a mumbled, "yes." in response, she continued. "...What if I told you that I wanted to mate?" She felt Sesshoumaru pull away from her and sit up. She turned to look at him only to find his back to her.
"You know as well as I do that we can't. I have faced the fact that the world will be safer if we just...stay friends and nothing more." Sesshoumaru closed his eyes willing away the pain of saying those words. There was nothing more he wanted than to hold her forever, but at the risk of their lives and the lives of those they cared for? It will be better this way.
Shinjiru's eyes widened and tears welled. She sat up, keeping the sheet against her and reached for his shoulder. "You don't mean that..."
Sesshoumaru shrugged her hand away and took a deep shuddering breath. "Yeah, I do."
"Then look at me and say it." She watched him try to look at her, but he turned away once more and remained silent.
"I-I can't." He stood and walked a few feet from the bed. "Just get your clothes and go." He kept his backed turned to her, too afraid that seeing her tears would make him change her mind.
Shinjiru stood angrily and made him face her. She slapped him hard across the cheek and turned away.
Sesshoumaru grabbed her by the arm and drug her back to him, he kissed her hungrily, twining his hands in her hair. He felt her struggle against him, yet return the kiss passionately.
Shinjiru finally moaned into his mouth, laying her hands against his chest, the sheet dropping. She stood naked against him, feeling his silk boxers against her thighs and his hard chest under her hands. She drug her tongue over his and across the fangs growing from his human canines. She felt claws dig into her waist and his hair spill over his shoulder as it grew. Suddenly frightened, she pulled away and gasped at the unprovoked change in his form.
Sesshoumaru panted, watching her continue to back away. Finally registering the stickiness on his fingers he looked at them, finding blood, he looked up at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." He reached for her and pulled her once more against his chest.
Shinjiru carefully folded herself into his arms and closed her eyes.
"This is why we can't...Kotoba said we would end up hurting each other and I can't, I've hurt you too many times already to hurt you once more. Please, just forget about it..." Sesshoumaru watched as her wings burst from her back and her demon markings faded to view. Two seconds before she shoved him back he felt her anger. Landing on the bed, he went to sit, up but a body atop his kept him still. Two silky soft lips covered his in a bruising kiss and talons dug into his biceps where Shinjiru held his arms down.
Putting every once of hurt and desire into the kiss, Shinjiru forced his lips apart and her tongue met his in a battle of wills. His taste made her stronger and the scent of his blood on the air made her push farther. Fighting to keep from taking him, she gave one last final brush of her tongue before pulling away. Looking down into his lustful eyes, she said, "I can't forget what you do to me or what you promised me." Getting off him and quickly getting dressed, she headed for the door and opened it. Halfway out, she turned to him and said, "And I won't let you forget either." With that she turned away and walked from the room.
Outside the door Shinjiru took a deep breath before heading down the hallway to the elevator. Pushing the button for ground level, she waited for the doors to open and stepped inside when they did. Staring at the door as she went down, she kept her fists balled and her face straight to hold in her anger and sadness. 'Stupid selfish jerk. He thinks I don't think about everyone else...Kami I just want to slap him again.' Hearing the bell ding, she stepped through the opened doors and made her way to the front doors. Ignoring the desk clerk, she hailed a cab and headed for the studio.
The desk clerk watched her go and picked the phone back up. "I'm sorry Sir, but she just left."
Sesshoumaru sighed into the phone. "Thank you." He hung up and fell back onto the bed, mentally kicking himself.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru plucked at the strings of her bass, listening for the right vibrations. Plucking two strings at once, the guitar screamed into the stage area. The other occupants on the stage and in the seating area looked to her questioningly, but she paid no mind. She continued to pluck at strings, occasionally writing a note on the sheet of paper in front of her. She was seated away from everyone else, high up in the rafters sitting on a wide beam hanging over the stage. A place only she knew how to reach safely, the place she'd go to be secluded, but be able to ask her sister questions.
"Is she okay?" Kagome asked Sitora tentatively. Kagome looked up at the dark figure still making the most haunting, creepy sounds imaginable with her guitar. She turned back to Sitora when she matched the chord Shinjiru was playing.
"Yeah, just musing. She'll be fine once she gets the lyrics out of her system." Sitora said, though deep down she knew there was more to it. The lyrics must mean a lot to her if she wasn't even talking to her about it.
"Are you sure, I mean she's been up there a long time?" Kagome pressed. Receiving a wave of Sitora's hand, Kagome turned back to Sango and shrugged before sitting back down.
Shinjiru closed her eyes, really feeling the music deep down. Her headphones blasted Eminem's Superman and her foot tapped against the metal framework sitting beneath her. Unconsciously, her fingers continued to pluck at guitar strings in no particular pattern or order. She was unaware of the chilling sounds coming from the strings or the goose bumps running down her watcher's arms.
Sango shivered at the tune. "Does anybody know if she's really okay?" Sango asked aloud, directing the comment at whoever had an answer. Every occupant in the room shook their heads, except for Sesshoumaru who was sitting alone in the back with his own guitar. Sango stared at him questioningly, but he never once looked at her. Giving up with a sigh, everyone returned to their work.
Inutaisho glared at his son openly. He knew they had another argument and that this time it was about the same thing the first one was. Their mating. He had talked to Shinjiru that morning when she walked in without his son.
~*Flashback*~
"Hello my dear and how are you this morning?" Inutaisho asked as Shinjiru walked through the doors leading to the stage. She greeted him with a smile and a hug.
"Fine and how are you?" Inutaisho just smiled in reply, but asked another question when after a few moments her supposed shadow didn't walk in behind her.
"Where is Sesshoumaru? I figured you spent the night with him again, wouldn't it be easier to come together?" Inutaisho watched as her eyes dimmed and she looked away.
"Sesshoumaru decided that it was time he made a decision. He is no longer considering the mating and I disagreed with his decision. He didn't want to listen so I made him listen and left. I'm sorry for all the trouble we have caused, but it ends now so no one needs to worry about Naraku anymore. There's no chance he will ever show up." Shinjiru smiled through the water in her eyes. Inutaisho shook his head and enveloped his adopted daughter in a hug.
"I apologize for my son's behavior. He was always so level headed."
Shinjiru pulled away from him and wiped at her tears. "I think it's for the best. I don't think we would've lasted very long if we would have mated, too much conflict."
Inutaisho watched as she tried to make herself believe that, but was failing miserably. They loved each other, there was no question about that, but there were also too many outside influences for them to properly work everything out on their own. Shinjiru excused herself and walked onto the stage, she grabbed her guitar and her headset before disappearing back stage. Later on she had reappeared up in the rafters with her headset blasting a song with a lot of swearing and lyrics about keeping a woman in line. After sitting their for a moment she had begun plucking strings on her guitar, making sounds so haunting and desperate echo through the stage area that some of the other occupants had to leave few times to recollect themselves.
~*End Flashback*~
And here she was still after four hours. Sesshoumaru had walked in an hour after she had and she never spared him a glance. Sesshoumaru however looked at her with a deep sadness in his eyes. But after a few minutes without a response, he just grabbed his own guitar and sat back away from the others to play. Rin had been the only one to get anything out of him since then. All he said was there was a misunderstanding, but after that refused to talk about it.
Shinjiru took off her headset and smiled at the sound coming from her bass. She scanned the people below her, waving at Kagome when she waved ecstatically. Her eyes landed on the silent, solitary form of Sesshoumaru. He was away from everyone else, meticulously picking at his guitar strings. Shaking her head Shinjiru looked down at Kagome who was yelling for her.
"Come on down and sing for us, I know you're ready to." Shinjiru smiled at Kagome's prompting.
Sesshoumaru watched the exchange with interest wondering if Shinjiru would give up the way to her hiding spot or get down another way.
Shinjiru had Kagome throw up her knapsack, she put her headset inside and threw it down. Holding her guitar in one hand and putting her pick in her mouth, Shinjiru stood and walked over to just above the stage, moving across support beams to reach it. When right over the stage, she sat back down and smiled evilly to the questioning group below her. She leaned back as if falling and let gravity take hold of her body. Surprisingly she didn’t hear any screams, just gasps. As she fell her wings burst from her back and she flipped. Flapping her wings twice for easy landing, she landed on the stage gently and gracefully. Pulling the pick from her mouth, she bowed and blew kisses to the group.
"I'll be here all week." Shinjiru yelled before turning to her now present band members and giving each a hug.
"I know that melody you were playing." Sitora spoke from beside Shinjiru. Shinjiru looked to her and nodded. "Alright guys get ready, you all know what we're gonna play. Chop to it." Sitora said clapping as she headed toward the stand her guitar rested on.
As the rest of the group prepared for the song, Shinjiru sat at the head of the stage talking to InuYasha.
"I got something for you." InuYasha said as he pulled a long, silk-covered bag out of his bag. He presented it to her with a smile.
Shinjiru stared at it in wonder. 'Why would InuYasha get me anything?'
"Well, open it." He said.
Carefully undoing the lace secured at the top holding it closed, she opened the little bag and tipped it upside down. Sliding out was a microphone. She was about to question him about it, but stopped short when she saw the custom paint job on the handle. It looked exactly like her guitar, only in a deep red. She turned it in her hands and smiled up at him.
"Thank you InuYasha, I love it. Can I use it now?" He nodded and she hopped up and slid it into the mic stand. After undoing the hook up on the old one, she hooked up the new one and smiled.
Sesshoumaru held in the growl threatening to spill out.
Turning to her companions, she nodded at their ready smiles. Turning back to the audience, she grabbed the head of her guitar and struck the first chord. Pressing her mouth to her new microphone, she sang the first haunting note.
"Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can’t find what keeps me here
When all this time I’ve been so hollow inside
I know you’re still there
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won’t let you pull me down"
Her hands took control, picking the strings she wanted without thought. Her voice was low and desperate as she played, her band mates giving more life to the tragic tune.
"Hunting you I can smell you-alive
Your heart pounding in my head
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me
Watching me"
She backed up two steps and played the solo with her sister. It was a beautiful piece that they had worked on for weeks to perfect. It all finally came together after a fight they had and they just played without beat or and background music.
"Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won’t let you pull me down"
She pulled away from the mic and played the last notes angrily. Part of this was his fault, but she wouldn't want anyone else to take the blame. She was getting everything out instead of bottling it all up and he was helping a little bit in that.
Converting /tmp/php3SDcSZ to /dev/stdout
Sesshoumaru watched her struggle through half lidded eyes. Watch her try to charge him, then watched her cry out to him pleadingly.
"You said you loved me! Was it all a lie?!" She had fainted after arguing her last stand.
"I do." He whispered the words he couldn't get out after his father took her to rest.
"Maybe you should tell her that." InuYasha's voice advised from before him.
"I…I don't know what happened. When she left I was so worried, even for days after. But when I went to find her I was so angry,"
"Blind rage." Inutaisho's voice informed him from the doorway. "You had no idea what you were doing. And she was retaliating the best way she knew-getting angry herself. Those words she said were said to make you feel her pain. That's all she meant by them." He spoke before helping his eldest to his feet.
"How-" InuYasha started.
"I know her. Shinjiru-no matter what incarnation or form she's in-is still Shinjiru. After helping her into a bed, she wanted to know if you were hurt. After assuring her of your safety, she cried because of what she'd done. Though in the interest of both of you, I'd let her collect herself and give her space." Inutaisho added the last as an after thought, should Sesshoumaru decide to talk to her.
"I think she'll come to me when she's ready." Sesshoumaru assured his father's hinting. "For now, I just want to see a bed."
With InuYasha's help, Sesshoumaru was led to another room. Away from Shinjiru's. Before InuYasha left he turned to his brother and smiled.
"I think things will work out." InuYasha soothed.
"For both our sake, I hope it does." Sesshoumaru whispered in return before laying on the bed and falling immediately to sleep.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru sat up days later and made her way to the studio. Greeted by Inutaisho and InuYasha's group, she smiled at their faces.
"How ya feelin'?" Kagome asked with a small smile.
"Tired and I have the biggest headache. You guys know where there's some aspirin or something?" Shinjiru asked. Shippo hopped over to his bag and produced a bottle of Tylenol. Taking it gratefully, Shinjiru downed two pills and took a swig from Miroku's offered bottle of water. "Ah, that's so much better."
"What are those?" Sango asked pointing down to the pieces of paper in Shinjiru's hand. Shinjiru smiled coyly.
"These are some lyrics I had jotted down months ago. I had lost the feel for them, but with the current…events I finished them. Wanna see?" With nods all around, the papers were passed from one person to another, ending with Inutaisho.
"My dear, these are beautifully written. Do you have music for them yet?" Inutaisho asked hopefully re-reading through one in particular.
"Luckily I do. I figured I'd finish them eventually, so with much bitching from my friends, we recorded music." Shinjiru produced a tape from behind her and hopped on stage. "You wanna hear some?"
"Please." Miroku encouraged as he leaned back to enjoy the show.
"Any requests?" Shinjiru asked looking up from her task at the stereo on stage. Inutaisho was the first to speak.
"I would dearly love to hear "Looking Through your Eyes" if possible." Shinjiru's face brightened up considerably at the request.
Bowing with a giggle, Shinjiru said, "It would be my pleasure to sing for his Lordship." Turning back to the stereo, she fiddled with it before returning to the front of the stage. Hooking one of the headsets into the cable for microphones, she smiled into the microphone as the music played into the background.
"Look at the sky
Tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes
And describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling
With starlight tonight
That's what I see
Through your eyes"
~*~*~*~
Sesshoumaru held his breath outside the stage door as Shinjiru began signing. She still had the voice of an angel despite the fact that there was a distinct sadness to her words.
He opened the door quietly and slipped inside to watch the heavenly being express herself. Scanning the other occupants of the room, he noted that his presence was undetected. To all but one. His father looked back at him with a slight scowl before turning his eyes back to Shinjiru.
Sesshoumaru held in his urge to scream. It was his fault, whatever he'd done had made her mad beyond recognition. Only he could fix this. He'd do anything to bring a smile to her face and life into her eyes.
"I see the heavens
Each time that you smile
I hear your heartbeat
Just go on for miles
And suddenly I know
My life is worth while
That's what I see
Through your eyes"
~*~*~*~
Inutaisho knew the moment his son had walked in. He had given him the "I'm not pleased with this" look and turned back to his daughter. Despite the fact that she looked happy, he knew better. She sang for therapy, she'd told him once; not just for pleasure or because she was good at it. She sang to lift herself up. Judging by how well she was singing now, she was in immense pain.
Inutaisho sighed heavily. *I hope they learn to overcome this. As much as I don't want Naraku to come back, I'd rather have a Lord and Lady of the West than a Lord and no Lady.*
Taking a deep, filling breath, Shinjiru opened her mouth and sung her heart out. Only one thought echoed through her head, Sesshoumaru…
"Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes"
Shinjiru scanned the audience, finding a set of eyes as pained as hers.
Sesshoumaru stared into her eyes. Tears slid past her cheeks to drop onto the ground beneath her. How he wanted to hold her and erase her fears. To tell her how much he loved her and how badly he wanted to mate her.
Shinjiru stared deeply into his eyes, letting their depths guide her voice.
"I look at myself
And instead I see us
Whoever I am now
It feels like enough
And I see a girl
Who is learning to trust
That's who I see through your eyes
Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes"
Shinjiru blinked past her tears to gaze at the retreating form of Sesshoumaru. Taking a deeper breath, her voice filled with raw emotion, she sang.
"And there are some things we don't know
Sometimes a heart just needs to go
And there is so much I'll remember
Underneath the open sky with you forever"
Sesshoumaru turned to look at her. Her words had startled him. Was she saying-?
"Here in the night
I see the sun
Here in the dark
Our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands
We can't stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes…
I still love you."
She smiled through her pain before fainting from emotional fatigue. She felt two strong arms wrap around her before she met the ground and a deepened voice called her name.
"Shinjiru…" Sesshoumaru called as he cradled her limp form. He turned to look at the others standing at the edge of the stage. Shocked faces met him and he gently set her down. "Tend to her." He asked of them before adding a whispered, "Please." He attempted to leave, but his father's commanding voice halted his steps.
"Sesshoumaru, you tend to her. I think you both need a little time together to get over what has been stressing you. Take her to the castle and both of you, rest." He told his son.
Nodding his agreement, InuYasha spoke. "You guys need each other. More than either of you know. Tell her what you feel, you might be surprised to hear what she has to say."
"Very well." Sesshoumaru replied silently. He picked up his burden and walked from the faces of the ones he had come to call family and friends. ~Maybe things would be fine.~ Sesshoumaru mused to himself, recalling his brother's words.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru woke slowly, opening her eyes to an unfamiliar room. She sat up immediately, recalling what had happened before her unconscious state. She had told him she still loved him. But why did it still hurt to think about him.
"My head hurts." Shinjiru mumbled to herself as her hands came up to hold her throbbing head. Two hands reached out from nowhere to grasp her wrists. Shinjiru shrieked and her youki jumped to defend her. She closed her eyes before hearing a crash followed by a grunt. Opening her eyes, Shinjiru was met with the far wall crashed in.
She stood slowly, still feeling light-headed from her headache, and walked cautiously toward the figure she threw into the wall. She stepped carefully through the rubble and picked her way through debris. She pulled a large piece of stucco from over a moving pile and gasped.
"Oh my gosh! Sesshoumaru, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" Shinjiru asked as helped to pick the rest of the remains of the wall from over Sesshoumaru. "I'm so sorry. You startled me." She offered as he stood.
"It's fine. This used to be my room and I can't remember how many times I've thrown InuYasha into this wall. It was bound to get destroyed again." He gave her a small smile as he walked from the wreckage. He winced as he sat at the foot of the bed.
"You're hurt." Shinjiru said as she gestured to the smear of blood on Sesshoumaru's stomach.
Sesshoumaru stood and walked through the door connecting his room to the bathroom. He opened the mirror and took out some medical supplies. Taking what was needed, he made his way back to his room. He set the supplies down and grabbed for the gauze, when a hand slapped his away.
"Let me do it. It's the least I could do since I hurt you." Shinjiru offered with a smile. He nodded his consent and watched as she looked at him as if waiting. He cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner. She giggled. "That's too cute. I can't treat you unless I can see the wound." A light blush dusted her cheeks as she pulled at the shoulder of his shirt.
Sesshoumaru turned from her slightly before smirking lightly as he grabbed the hem of his shirt. Slowly pulling it over his head, he made sure to give Shinjiru a tease as the muscles on his back flexed with his every move. He scented the air before turning to her, dropping the shirt beside him on the bed.
Shinjiru swallowed hard. She had never seen him without his shirt on and suddenly felt drained now that she had. Quickly kneeling to save her the embarrassment of getting weak in the knees, she pulled the items she needed from beside Sesshoumaru's soiled shirt and set to work.
Sesshoumaru silently praised her. If she was aroused, she hid it well. She even looked too busied with her task to notice. ~Probably doesn't want to let it show.~ He mused as she applied antibiotic crème to his injury. Luckily the crème had to be applied with her fingers. He couldn't help but notice how she slowed in her ministrations to enjoy the feel of his bare skin. He held in a groan as she brushed over his only ticklish spot. Though, somehow the spot seemed more pleasured than tickled.
Shinjiru applied the last of the crème with a sigh. He had the best abs she had ever seen. They were rippled, but not to the point of bulging and firm. But at the same time, they were soft and pliant. She could only guess how many different ways he could bend. Uh, head out of the gutter. You two are fighting remember? But still, I wouldn't mind seeing how much he could bend. Bend over me. Shinjiru finished the thought with a blush and a mental giggle.
Taking the gauze in both hands, Shinjiru pressed one end to his stomach. His muscles jumped under her fingers, screaming for more contact. She had him hold that spot in place and wrapped the gauze around his torso. She had to fight herself not to blush when she would wrap her arms around him to switch the gauze into her other hand to bring it back around to the front. Finished with her task, she cut the gauze with her talon and taped it down securely to his injury.
"There, all done." Shinjiru said quickly. She jumped to her feet and backed away, not at all trusting herself with her current thoughts.
Sesshoumaru was after her immediately. He took hold of her wrist and pulled her lightly toward him. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes and he couldn't help but love her impossibly more. "Shin," He whispered before hauling her against his chest and pulling her lips in for a brutal kiss.
Shinjiru immediately sank further into him as she opened for his tongue. Her hands found their way to his sides as she held onto him as he plundered her mouth.
Sesshoumaru groaned at her taste. She tasted even better than she smelled and she smelled delicious. A long forgotten memory swept over him of their former selves during mating. He could only watch as he pounded into her writhing frame, not holding in his outside reaction. His claws sunk into her biceps, causing her to hiss into his mouth and sink her talons into his injured side. The action wouldn't have hurt so badly if she had his claws, but she had talons which were infinitely sharper than his.
Whimpering, Sesshoumaru pulled away from her. Her talons retracted and she backed away as if ashamed. But it was he who should've been ashamed. He made the move to kiss her, he knew they were still fighting, and he knew that his outward actions to the memory would be aggressive. He knew, but that did nothing to stop him.
"I-I'm sorry." Shinjiru sad backing further from him. Her lips still tingled from his kiss and she felt dirty because of it. She still loved him, regardless of the harm she caused him or the words she threw at him.
"No." Sesshoumaru replied. Shinjiru looked at him questioningly. "I was the one to kiss you, not the other way around." He stepped toward her, brushing his fingers over the crescent shaped wounds on her arms. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You have every right to after what I've said and done to you." Shinjiru told him quietly as her eyes sought the floor. Tears streamed down her still flushed cheeks because of her inner pain.
"Those things you said, were said because I caused you pain. I had no right whatsoever to harm you. I deserved those words." Sesshoumaru replied as he walked back to the bed.
"Maybe we should start from the beginning. That way, we can work our way through everything." Shinjiru suggested as she sat beside him.
Sesshoumaru turned to her, taking her hands in his own before taking a deep breath. "I want to know why you reacted so negatively to my words to my father."
"You had told me that you were willing to fight for us. Yet in front of your father you told him differently. It hurt to think that what you had told me may not have been the truth." Shinjiru said as she held her tears at bay. Music was her therapy, not talking. When she sung she could mask her meaning with words, using them for different purposes. This was straight out talking, everything was laid out on the table with no holding anything back. She had to tell him everything without using words as double standards to mask her meanings. It was harder than she wanted to admit.
"I was not lying to you. Though, I should have told my father the whole truth. I thought that since we had more information than previously that we should talk further about the decision to mate. We're not just talking about us anymore." Sesshoumaru cupped her cheeks, bringing her eyes to meet his. "We made life; we have pups to think about. I didn't think you'd want to subject them to either death or living without their parents in a world they know nothing about. They would've lived knowing nothing about where they came from, their ancestry, or received proper training. I didn't want to do that to my family." Sesshoumaru reassured her, wiping away her tears.
"I'm sorry. I was so overwhelmed with Inutaisho's arrival and the news of pups and I wasn't thinking so much half the time. It hurt to really think about anything. So many factors would pop up and I was just so drained I couldn't think straight. Therefore, I never thought of your reasons for reconsidering our mating." Shinjiru forced out as tears made their way to her face.
"And I forgive you for that." Sesshoumaru whispered. "But that gave me no reason to attack you. You had been gone for two days without so much as a word on whether or not you were fine. For all I knew you could've been laying in a ditch somewhere. It killed me, so I set out to find you. When I did I just blacked out. I became so mad that you had shown no regard to my feelings to even let me know you were safe. My father called it blind rage and I was. Blind to the fact that you were lashing out at me because you had no idea what to do. You were trying to understand my actions and by doing so you yourself got angry. My rage did nothing for our situation and I apologies for it."
"Rage did nothing for either of us. I was so desperate to hurt you the way you'd hurt me that I just lost it. The attacks, the words, the hateful tone they were said in, I meant none of it. Afterward I was so stricken with what I did, I toyed with the idea of running away, injuring myself to repent. Luckily your father had made me promise a long time ago that if things looked so hopeless that I would not degrade myself by harming myself or others. Pain does nothing to help anyone. This just proved it." Shinjiru smiled through her tears at the memory.
"What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. How can you get stronger if you're the one dead?" Sesshoumaru pointed out as words of wisdom. Shinjiru giggled and nodded.
"What an excellent point. I think we covered everything, unless of course something else is troubling you."
"Well, not so much troubling me as to making me curious. How could our past situation cause you to be so inspired to finish love songs?" Sesshoumaru asked. Deep down he thrilled at the answer he thought-hoped-was coming. Seeing her smile brightly, made him believe it all the more.
"Because, I still loved you. Even if I had questions as to whether or not you loved me, my heart has been yours through countless lifetimes. Why should this one be any different? Wherever this started, my first incarnation had the best taste in males to choose you and I'm glad she mated you. This way, I get to have you to myself as well." Shinjiru giggled.
"So you want to have the mating talk now? Before we tease each other silly, I think we should talk about our options first."
With a nod from Shinjiru, Sesshoumaru took her hand and led her downstairs where dinner was calling to them.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru smiled as she plucked at the strings of her guitar. She had another song already. She had been struck with the inspiration bug after her talk with Sesshoumaru. During dinner they talked about their mating. Sesshoumaru thought it would be for the best if they waited until they could contain Naraku. He had been M.I.A. for the last couple of weeks; not even his band mates had been present. It was odd.
Shinjiru laughed as Kagome told her the story of InuYasha's first rehearsal. He had stormed in and screamed out the song he had written for the band. Right after the song was over he started coughing uncontrollably. Immediately following his coughing fit, he belched. Right into the microphone.
"Hey, I had just eaten!" InuYasha defended from backstage. Shinjiru laughed again.
"The first time I went on stage, we were given these butt-ugly outfits and, me being the lead, had the ugliest. It was this baby blue mini skirt with this god-awful pink shirt that said rock on. I had pink and black converse to "match". I almost threw up before the show because I was so repulsed." Shinjiru shuddered as InuYasha fell over laughing. Kagome threw a water bottle at him. He got up and went backstage to help with the equipment.
"And everybody had to wear them? Your sister actually wore something like that?" Sango asked from beside Kagome, astonished. Shinjiru giggled while shaking her head.
"Hell no. Sitora deemed the clothes unworthy of her and burned them on the spot. She was the only one wearing normal clothes. I still have people approach me and ask for my autograph on that picture. Ewwie…" Sango laughed at Shinjiru's grossed face.
"Back to business, what's this new song you wanna do and why aren't your band mates here?" Kagome asked as Shinjiru played another haunting chord on her bass. The way she made the notes sound so eerie was a puzzle. She had only heard Shinjiru play like that; it was beautiful.
"Well," Taking a deep breath, Shinjiru got it all out in one breath. "HitodisappearedwithHiei,Kasouhadtogo toherparent'sforafamilyreunion.Shesaidt'dtakeatleasttwoweeks,Hitoneverspeci fiedwhatshewasdoing, justthatshewasnottobedisturbed.Finally,Sitorasupposedlyhadherheat,conveinie ntlyduringthis,soherandKuramawentofftofuck." Taking another deep breath, Shinjiru sighed. "I think that's pretty much the gist of that. The song is just something a dream of mine inspired. I wanted to know if a few of you wanted to help out."
"Yeah, I'll lend my fingers." Kagome looked to Sango.
"I guess I could play my electric in place of your sister, but I don't think I can make mine scream the way she can. You two can get the weirdest sounds from your instruments, how?" Sango asked as she tuned her guitar.
"Lots of practice, like tons of practice. We started early on and got a few professional lessons, from there on it was trial and error. Self teaching basically; we would experiment all the time too. Every little counts." Shinjiru said as she produced a small scream from her bass. "Hey, Rin, you think your Sesshoumaru-sama would let you beat on something for me?" Shinjiru yelled toward the backstage area.
Rin's head popped out from around the corner and a smile was plastered on her face. She smirked devilishly and ran over to join the girls. Giggling, she said, "Anything to get out of moving equipment." The group laughed.
InuYasha, Miroku, Sesshoumaru, and Shippo walked around the corner Rin had just came around. All four of them were shirtless and sweaty. Seeing Rin with the others instead of helping him like she insisted made Sesshoumaru roll his eyes in their general direction.
"What are you going on about?" InuYasha asked as he took a giant swig of the water bottle in his hand. Beads of sweat were slowly trailing salty paths down his face and chest as his head tilted farther back to get more of the water down. Kagome was gulping heavily from next to him on the floor.
"Nothing your "multi-talented ness" could do. How 'bout you Sesshoumaru? Would you mind getting a brake from moving for a while to help me out?" Shinjiru asked with a pout.
Smirking, Sesshoumaru walked over to her and planted a kiss on her pouty lips. He smiled against their silky surface, before pulling away. "Not at all. What do you have in mind?"
"Here," Shinjiru said passing around music sheets. "this is the music for what I have in mind."
"Where's the lyrics?" Mirkou asked from beside InuYasha.
Smiling devilishly, Shinjiru pointed to her head. "All in here, you'll just have to wait to find that out."
~*~*~*~
Sesshoumaru watched Shinjiru as she interacted with her friends. She had changed so much from their fight. If he would've known that such a small thing could set her off, he would've talked to her long ago. Letting her sit in that room beside the stage entrance wasn't good for either of them. She finished off some songs, sure, but finishing those songs only made their situation worse. It did, however, give him the chance to talk to her, but he never should've waited so long in the first place.
Shinjiru felt familiar eyes on her and turned. Sesshoumaru was staring at her. Probably so intently, he didn't know that she was looking back at him.
Smiling warmly, Shinjiru walked over to him. She watched as his eyes became aware of her and looked to her. Smiling once more, she asked, "Are you okay? You look concentrated." He smiled at her in turn.
"I'm fine, just grateful."
"Grateful for what?" Shinjiru stilled as he leaned toward her and brushed his lips over hers. She gasped against his lips purposefully, letting his tongue into her mouth.
Sesshoumaru took his hands away from his guitar to wrap them around her waist and pull her closer. He smirked as she gasped once more as she was pulled onto his lap, the only thing separating them was Sesshoumaru's bass, still sandwiched against his chest.
Pulling slowly away from their heated kiss, Sesshoumaru laid a final kiss to her lips before watching her face. Her eyes opened slowly revealing their evergreen hues, which were slowly melting to silver green. He nudged at her nose once with his, recalling the gesture at their first intimate embrace. "I'm grateful for you." He clarified before helping her off his legs.
Shinjiru wobbled a bit, but once she regained her footing, decided not to go near Sesshoumaru any more than necessary. A few more strategically placed kisses like that and she didn't care who was watching, the wait to mate would be nonexistent. She was hungry for him already, times like this only served to turn that hunger into a craving for something long starved of.
Going back to Kagome and Sango, ignoring their smirks, she helped them with the music.
~*~*~*~
"Everybody ready?" Shinjiru yelled behind her. With either nods or verbal conformation, she signaled the music's start. Sesshoumaru stood teasingly close to her as he played her bass. Being unable to play her own because she had to concentrate on the words, Sesshoumaru played her bass for her, the only one to be able to come close to her style.
At the cue, the piano Mirkou was seated at began it's light melody. Sesshoumaru's finger plucked at the chords slowly as Rin lightly tapped on her drum set. Taking a deep breath, Shinjiru opened her mouth, giving the haunting words release.
"I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better
But I will know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection
I just can't help but wonder,
Which of us do you love"
Shinjiru held her tears at bay in remembrance. This song wasn't about a dream that she had, it was about a memory. Though, it this point, she really didn't want to remember a lot of the things her past lives had gone through. Most of what she'd seen and heard had been horrible. She couldn't help but wonder if she'd go mad once she re-remembered all of her memories.
"So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe
I breathe no…
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more"
Smiling secretly to herself, Shinjiru slowly backed away from the microphone, letting the music trail off. Turning to her slack-jawed companions, Shinjiru clapped her hands together.
"So what'd you think?" Shinjiru was so excited to hear what her closest friends had to say.
"That was the creepiest, coolest song I think you've ever written. I love it." Kagome said with a smile as she popped her fingers. Turning to Sango and Rin, Shinjiru smirked at their shocked expressions. Rin even held her drumsticks in the position they were in for the last note.
"I'll take your expressions as thumbs up. Mirkou, InuYasha?"
"I thought it rocked." InuYasha said turning to Miroku for support.
"It was very unique. I liked it as well." He added with a smile.
Shinjiru skipped over to Sesshoumaru and pouted cutely. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her antics and gave her a millisecond smile before leaned toward her ear.
"I liked it as well. I would love to hear your others and don't tell me you don't have any more. I know you and you just don't pop out lyrics like this without having at least five more." He whispered. He smirked at her shiver before pulling away. Shinjiru smiled brilliantly as if he hadn't turned her on.
"Thank you, Sesshoumaru. Your opinion is really the only one that counts." Various objections and accusations at being ungrateful were shouted rather loudly in the pair's direction. Shinjiru held her hand to silence their words. "First of all, OUCH! That's my ears! Second of all, I was only kidding." She said as she winked at Sesshoumaru.
"Sure you were..." InuYasha grumbled. Shinjiru patted him on the head and smiled.
"Okay, who wants to eat, cause I'm starving." Shinjiru asked excitedly. Every nodded.
"Can't have you starving now can we?" Sesshoumaru smirked at her teasingly.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru moaned against the mouth covering hers. His hands roughly explored her body, tearing her clothes off as they went. He straddled her waist and his mouth moved from her lips to her neck. He nibbled and bit on her pulse before moving on to the juncture of her neck and shoulder and licking at it lovingly.
"Ughn..." Shinjiru tried to get out a stop, but it wouldn't come. They shouldn't be doing this, he said he didn't want to, they shouldn't. But god it felt incredible...
"Don't resist me...we both want this." He whispered against her breast. He suckled on her nipple as his left hand came up to massage the neglected breast. Shinjiru arched into the hold and moaned louder. His right hand wasted no time in playing with her clit, flicking the little bundle of nerves until Shinjiru let out a small scream.
"Oh...Kami..." Shinjiru gasped out as he left her momentarily, just to reappear between her thighs and lick the fluids leaking from her. Shinjiru's eyes burst from their sockets at the sensation and she buried her fingers in his short hair.
Short hair?
Shinjiru looked at the black hair between her fingers and gasped. This wasn't Sesshoumaru. She growled in fury and pulled the head up by the hair. Naraku's triumphant red eyes looked to hers and he had a smile on his haunting face.
"What are you doing here?" Shinjiru demanded. His smile widened and he reached for her again.
"Nothing you didn't want me to." He laughed. Shinjiru pulled him closer, feeling Sesshoumaru nearby. Her eyes narrowed as her youkai features melted onto her body. She smelt his arousal spike and growled.
"You would do well not to touch what is not yours." Sesshoumaru voiced as he pulled her away from the now angry male. She let herself be pulled and turned to face him before curling into his chest.
The world surrounding them rippled before disappearing completely.
"That was what started everything." A female said from behind her. Shinjiru turned and smiled at seeing the long forgotten Lady of the West.
"Lady Hanshou." Shinjiru acknowledged before bowing. She did feel a little embarrassed at being naked before the first Lady, but she deserved respect.
"Rise, child." Shinjiru stood, feeling material flow as she straightened. She looked down to find herself in a beautiful black kimono with pink sakura blossoms dancing along the bodice and sleeves. Looking back up to the white garbed female who's dress was very similar to Sesshoumaru's, she nodded.
"I was unable to remember that much. Was I willing to bed both?" Shinjiru asked turning her head from facing the Lady's judgment.
"No. You were in love with my son so you have no reason to be shamed. The hanyou wanted your body and took on Sesshoumaru's form to get it." She stepped toward Shinjiru and smiled before giving her a hug. "You have no idea how happy you've made Sesshoumaru and Inutaisho. I know they are both with you now."
Shinjiru pulled away and shook her head. "I can do only what you didn't finish. They both miss you very much."
"I know, tell them I love both of them very much. Now, the time is at hand."
"Now, but we haven't...mated yet." Shinjiru blushed lightly. Talking about mating wasn't something she wanted to in front of said mate's mother.
"You will. I know it has been hard for both of you to keep from each other. You two never were one to keep your explorations light. The best thing for both of you is to start the mating and get it over with, this way Naraku will rear his ugly head and you may begin planning his death. I have complete faith you will succeed this time around. Inutaisho has noticed as well as I have that a few events that you two have gone through have not happened in the past. I have a good feeling about this." She hugged Shinjiru once more before moving back to bow. When she rose she said, "I leave both my boys in your hands. Goodbye Lady of the West, keep your lands safe."
The dream rippled once again before Shinjiru opened her eyes. She blinked twice before rising. She was in Sesshoumaru's hotel room again, his sleeping form lay just inches from hers. Recalling the dream, she reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair from his face behind his ear. She pulled her hand away in time to watch his markings melt into place. He turned to her and sighed in his sleep. "Shin..."
Shinjiru smiled and giggled lightly. "Sesshou..." She called back.
"You know, some people would rather be left to their dreams than laughed at." Sesshoumaru's left eye opened and looked up at her smiling face. Shinjiru waved him off.
"Nope, not me." She tried to get off the bed and away from Sesshoumaru's grabbing hands, but he grabbed her waist and pulled her against his chest. He tickled her sides until she gasped out a, "Stop." He released her and watched as she melted into his chest and sighed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer while burying his nose in her hair.
"Sesshoumaru?" Shinjiru asked quietly. Hearing a mumbled, "yes." in response, she continued. "...What if I told you that I wanted to mate?" She felt Sesshoumaru pull away from her and sit up. She turned to look at him only to find his back to her.
"You know as well as I do that we can't. I have faced the fact that the world will be safer if we just...stay friends and nothing more." Sesshoumaru closed his eyes willing away the pain of saying those words. There was nothing more he wanted than to hold her forever, but at the risk of their lives and the lives of those they cared for? It will be better this way.
Shinjiru's eyes widened and tears welled. She sat up, keeping the sheet against her and reached for his shoulder. "You don't mean that..."
Sesshoumaru shrugged her hand away and took a deep shuddering breath. "Yeah, I do."
"Then look at me and say it." She watched him try to look at her, but he turned away once more and remained silent.
"I-I can't." He stood and walked a few feet from the bed. "Just get your clothes and go." He kept his backed turned to her, too afraid that seeing her tears would make him change her mind.
Shinjiru stood angrily and made him face her. She slapped him hard across the cheek and turned away.
Sesshoumaru grabbed her by the arm and drug her back to him, he kissed her hungrily, twining his hands in her hair. He felt her struggle against him, yet return the kiss passionately.
Shinjiru finally moaned into his mouth, laying her hands against his chest, the sheet dropping. She stood naked against him, feeling his silk boxers against her thighs and his hard chest under her hands. She drug her tongue over his and across the fangs growing from his human canines. She felt claws dig into her waist and his hair spill over his shoulder as it grew. Suddenly frightened, she pulled away and gasped at the unprovoked change in his form.
Sesshoumaru panted, watching her continue to back away. Finally registering the stickiness on his fingers he looked at them, finding blood, he looked up at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." He reached for her and pulled her once more against his chest.
Shinjiru carefully folded herself into his arms and closed her eyes.
"This is why we can't...Kotoba said we would end up hurting each other and I can't, I've hurt you too many times already to hurt you once more. Please, just forget about it..." Sesshoumaru watched as her wings burst from her back and her demon markings faded to view. Two seconds before she shoved him back he felt her anger. Landing on the bed, he went to sit, up but a body atop his kept him still. Two silky soft lips covered his in a bruising kiss and talons dug into his biceps where Shinjiru held his arms down.
Putting every once of hurt and desire into the kiss, Shinjiru forced his lips apart and her tongue met his in a battle of wills. His taste made her stronger and the scent of his blood on the air made her push farther. Fighting to keep from taking him, she gave one last final brush of her tongue before pulling away. Looking down into his lustful eyes, she said, "I can't forget what you do to me or what you promised me." Getting off him and quickly getting dressed, she headed for the door and opened it. Halfway out, she turned to him and said, "And I won't let you forget either." With that she turned away and walked from the room.
Outside the door Shinjiru took a deep breath before heading down the hallway to the elevator. Pushing the button for ground level, she waited for the doors to open and stepped inside when they did. Staring at the door as she went down, she kept her fists balled and her face straight to hold in her anger and sadness. 'Stupid selfish jerk. He thinks I don't think about everyone else...Kami I just want to slap him again.' Hearing the bell ding, she stepped through the opened doors and made her way to the front doors. Ignoring the desk clerk, she hailed a cab and headed for the studio.
The desk clerk watched her go and picked the phone back up. "I'm sorry Sir, but she just left."
Sesshoumaru sighed into the phone. "Thank you." He hung up and fell back onto the bed, mentally kicking himself.
~*~*~*~
Shinjiru plucked at the strings of her bass, listening for the right vibrations. Plucking two strings at once, the guitar screamed into the stage area. The other occupants on the stage and in the seating area looked to her questioningly, but she paid no mind. She continued to pluck at strings, occasionally writing a note on the sheet of paper in front of her. She was seated away from everyone else, high up in the rafters sitting on a wide beam hanging over the stage. A place only she knew how to reach safely, the place she'd go to be secluded, but be able to ask her sister questions.
"Is she okay?" Kagome asked Sitora tentatively. Kagome looked up at the dark figure still making the most haunting, creepy sounds imaginable with her guitar. She turned back to Sitora when she matched the chord Shinjiru was playing.
"Yeah, just musing. She'll be fine once she gets the lyrics out of her system." Sitora said, though deep down she knew there was more to it. The lyrics must mean a lot to her if she wasn't even talking to her about it.
"Are you sure, I mean she's been up there a long time?" Kagome pressed. Receiving a wave of Sitora's hand, Kagome turned back to Sango and shrugged before sitting back down.
Shinjiru closed her eyes, really feeling the music deep down. Her headphones blasted Eminem's Superman and her foot tapped against the metal framework sitting beneath her. Unconsciously, her fingers continued to pluck at guitar strings in no particular pattern or order. She was unaware of the chilling sounds coming from the strings or the goose bumps running down her watcher's arms.
Sango shivered at the tune. "Does anybody know if she's really okay?" Sango asked aloud, directing the comment at whoever had an answer. Every occupant in the room shook their heads, except for Sesshoumaru who was sitting alone in the back with his own guitar. Sango stared at him questioningly, but he never once looked at her. Giving up with a sigh, everyone returned to their work.
Inutaisho glared at his son openly. He knew they had another argument and that this time it was about the same thing the first one was. Their mating. He had talked to Shinjiru that morning when she walked in without his son.
~*Flashback*~
"Hello my dear and how are you this morning?" Inutaisho asked as Shinjiru walked through the doors leading to the stage. She greeted him with a smile and a hug.
"Fine and how are you?" Inutaisho just smiled in reply, but asked another question when after a few moments her supposed shadow didn't walk in behind her.
"Where is Sesshoumaru? I figured you spent the night with him again, wouldn't it be easier to come together?" Inutaisho watched as her eyes dimmed and she looked away.
"Sesshoumaru decided that it was time he made a decision. He is no longer considering the mating and I disagreed with his decision. He didn't want to listen so I made him listen and left. I'm sorry for all the trouble we have caused, but it ends now so no one needs to worry about Naraku anymore. There's no chance he will ever show up." Shinjiru smiled through the water in her eyes. Inutaisho shook his head and enveloped his adopted daughter in a hug.
"I apologize for my son's behavior. He was always so level headed."
Shinjiru pulled away from him and wiped at her tears. "I think it's for the best. I don't think we would've lasted very long if we would have mated, too much conflict."
Inutaisho watched as she tried to make herself believe that, but was failing miserably. They loved each other, there was no question about that, but there were also too many outside influences for them to properly work everything out on their own. Shinjiru excused herself and walked onto the stage, she grabbed her guitar and her headset before disappearing back stage. Later on she had reappeared up in the rafters with her headset blasting a song with a lot of swearing and lyrics about keeping a woman in line. After sitting their for a moment she had begun plucking strings on her guitar, making sounds so haunting and desperate echo through the stage area that some of the other occupants had to leave few times to recollect themselves.
~*End Flashback*~
And here she was still after four hours. Sesshoumaru had walked in an hour after she had and she never spared him a glance. Sesshoumaru however looked at her with a deep sadness in his eyes. But after a few minutes without a response, he just grabbed his own guitar and sat back away from the others to play. Rin had been the only one to get anything out of him since then. All he said was there was a misunderstanding, but after that refused to talk about it.
Shinjiru took off her headset and smiled at the sound coming from her bass. She scanned the people below her, waving at Kagome when she waved ecstatically. Her eyes landed on the silent, solitary form of Sesshoumaru. He was away from everyone else, meticulously picking at his guitar strings. Shaking her head Shinjiru looked down at Kagome who was yelling for her.
"Come on down and sing for us, I know you're ready to." Shinjiru smiled at Kagome's prompting.
Sesshoumaru watched the exchange with interest wondering if Shinjiru would give up the way to her hiding spot or get down another way.
Shinjiru had Kagome throw up her knapsack, she put her headset inside and threw it down. Holding her guitar in one hand and putting her pick in her mouth, Shinjiru stood and walked over to just above the stage, moving across support beams to reach it. When right over the stage, she sat back down and smiled evilly to the questioning group below her. She leaned back as if falling and let gravity take hold of her body. Surprisingly she didn’t hear any screams, just gasps. As she fell her wings burst from her back and she flipped. Flapping her wings twice for easy landing, she landed on the stage gently and gracefully. Pulling the pick from her mouth, she bowed and blew kisses to the group.
"I'll be here all week." Shinjiru yelled before turning to her now present band members and giving each a hug.
"I know that melody you were playing." Sitora spoke from beside Shinjiru. Shinjiru looked to her and nodded. "Alright guys get ready, you all know what we're gonna play. Chop to it." Sitora said clapping as she headed toward the stand her guitar rested on.
As the rest of the group prepared for the song, Shinjiru sat at the head of the stage talking to InuYasha.
"I got something for you." InuYasha said as he pulled a long, silk-covered bag out of his bag. He presented it to her with a smile.
Shinjiru stared at it in wonder. 'Why would InuYasha get me anything?'
"Well, open it." He said.
Carefully undoing the lace secured at the top holding it closed, she opened the little bag and tipped it upside down. Sliding out was a microphone. She was about to question him about it, but stopped short when she saw the custom paint job on the handle. It looked exactly like her guitar, only in a deep red. She turned it in her hands and smiled up at him.
"Thank you InuYasha, I love it. Can I use it now?" He nodded and she hopped up and slid it into the mic stand. After undoing the hook up on the old one, she hooked up the new one and smiled.
Sesshoumaru held in the growl threatening to spill out.
Turning to her companions, she nodded at their ready smiles. Turning back to the audience, she grabbed the head of her guitar and struck the first chord. Pressing her mouth to her new microphone, she sang the first haunting note.
"Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can’t find what keeps me here
When all this time I’ve been so hollow inside
I know you’re still there
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won’t let you pull me down"
Her hands took control, picking the strings she wanted without thought. Her voice was low and desperate as she played, her band mates giving more life to the tragic tune.
"Hunting you I can smell you-alive
Your heart pounding in my head
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me
Watching me"
She backed up two steps and played the solo with her sister. It was a beautiful piece that they had worked on for weeks to perfect. It all finally came together after a fight they had and they just played without beat or and background music.
"Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won’t let you pull me down"
She pulled away from the mic and played the last notes angrily. Part of this was his fault, but she wouldn't want anyone else to take the blame. She was getting everything out instead of bottling it all up and he was helping a little bit in that.
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