InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ That's the Way Love Goes ❯ XV ( Chapter 15 )

A/N: So…. I know it's been a while for you guys, but this is the first chapter of the New Year for me. I'm going to try not to make the chapters too long, because it seems like this story will be over by the early 20-odd chapters. I'd like for there to be more chapters than that, so if you notice the slight decrease, you know why. Don't forget: this story doesn't really have any action in it; there's no big baddie to fight. It's a drama. And so, there's gonna be less chapters anyways. Also, I wanted to make a little note about my not-as-long chapters: you see, on deviantART, it's a BIG ol' pain in the proverbial ass to submit literature, and one of my problems is that if my chapters are too long, I have to post them in two parts. As if putting in codes isn't enough, I have to worry about that, too. To tell the truth, if I didn't have such great reviewers there, I wouldn't post there at all. So that's another reason for shorter chappies. And please excuse my lack of dialogue. I assure you, no one is having any interesting conversations, besides the ones I've put in. This chapter was mostly written to show you how Sesshoumaru lived through the centuries until Kagome's time, and to show you a little about what I think of Kagome's personal history.

Also: Nippon = Japan, to the Japanese.

 

Sorry for the long song entry - believe it or not, this is a little over half the song. But it's by one of my favorite artists, and it's one of my fave songs from her. The song is so spot-on for Sesshoumaru that I had to post this batch of lyrics; he's really mentally beating himself, and if has a second chance, he won't screw it up again:

 

“I've been alone inside myself for far too long.

Never really wanted it that way, but I let it happen.

If I could do it all again, my life would be…

Infinitely better than before; wouldn't miss a moment.

 

Make time for laughing with my friends.

Make love, make music, make amends.

Try to make a difference, try to love, try to understand.

Instead of just giving up, I'd use the power at my command.

 

But there's always tomorrow -

To start over again.

Things will never stay the same,

Only one sure thing has changed.

That's why there's always tomorrow.

 

I guess it took a little time for me to see.

The reason I was born into this world, and what I'd have to go through.

Before I finally realized that I could be…

Infinitely better than before, definitely stronger.

 

I'll face whatever comes my way.

Savor each moment of the day.

Love as many people as I can along the way.

Help someone who's given up,

Even if it's just to raise my eyes and pray.

 

But there's always tomorrow.

To start over again.

Things will never stay the same,

Only one sure thing has changed.

 

That's why there's always tomorrow…

Before your last setting sun.

And everything your heart is longing for,

Has yet to be won.” - Always Tomorrow, Gloria Estefan

 

 

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XV

 

If he had to suffer, then so be it. He thought, in a way, he was punishing himself for his crimes. With time stretching out infinitely, how could he possibly atone? He knew without a doubt that if he could do it again, he would act differently. That is, provided he knew what he knew now. Unfortunately, he knew himself too well, and if the same situation was to be replayed, he would probably act the same. Well, that was fine. He would live and thrive until Kagome's era, and then he would find her. Of course, he wasn't quite sure how to go about things. He certainly couldn't upset the future when he was there because it still would be the future…

 

Oh, it was all very confusing. He knew he wouldn't be able to just find Kagome and talk to her. Not before she got dragged into the well - if she saw him before, it might affect the past when she travelled there. And if he came to her before she married Inuyasha… well, that was a better idea. But he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Certainly, he wasn't about to hug his brother or anything, but after experiencing so many emotions and different sides of the story, how could he ignore his younger brother? Could he really take away the one thing Inuyasha had over him? Especially when he saw what it did the first time… Well, he would get to that part when he came to it. All he knew now was that when he finally saw Kagome again, face-to-face, he would make sure she knew how much he regretted his past. And more importantly, how he wanted to change their future together.

 

Unfortunately, he had the knowledge that Kagome would indeed marry Inuyasha. It had happened here, and there would be no point in stopping the future wedding. And he also knew that Inuyasha would become human, wishing away the Shikon no Tama forever, and sealing the well so that neither he nor Kagome could come back to the Sengoku Jidai ever again. All these things, he knew, would keep him busy for the next couple of hundred of years, as well as other things.

 

Already, he was protecting the village that Inuyasha once lived in; really, he could care less about the other humans. But he felt that if Kagome would want one thing, it would be for her family here, in this Era, to be looked after. So he stayed near the village that slowly became Edo, then Tokyo, watching for youkai, although it seemed that there weren't many around. It looked like his foolish brother's reputation preceded him; most demons didn't dare set foot on his own lands, so that left them the North and the South, or to travel to the Continent. Funny, how even though they hadn't planned it that way, the brothers had united and protected a whole region.

 

After ten years, Rin and Kohaku had finally had a child - a boy. They had named him `Gin', to his dismay. He still checked on Rin and Kohaku, and although she still held a grudge against him, she could never keep him out of her life; she owed him so much and would always think of him as her father. According to her, the newborn needed a name that gave tribute to her own father, the terrible and great Taiyoukai of the West. Hence came the name that meant `silver', since she was quite fond of his hair.

 

He didn't speak with Miroku and Sango but he did look out for them and watched as their family expanded and grew. After their firstborn, they had another boy, and then twin girls that the couple had approximately a year before Rin had her first. But the surprise came years later, when Gin, at fourteen years old, proposed to Yuki, one of the fair-skinned daughters of the monk and demonslayer. It was a grand celebration when years later, the two came together, uniting the two families.

 

He gradually made himself less and less known; by the time Gin and Yuki's children began having children, he kept clear altogether. After all, his Rin had finally succumbed to old age, and her mate followed soon after. The monk and demonslayer had perished several years before, in an outbreak of human illness. Regardless, things were changing, and if he was to survive, he needed to adapt. A century went by in an excruciatingly long epoch, because things hadn't changed much. Then the sixteen-hundreds swept by. Nothing of much interest to a Taiyoukai. Two hundred more years, and even though he was molding himself to the rules of humans, it didn't ease the pain in his heart or the ache he felt when he remembered her.

 

When the humans started using family names as well as just an individual name, he took one as well, although he had to change it every fifty years or so. Some time in the eighteenth century, he finally took to having a home, and although he could see the benefits in having one, still thought it was unnecessary. But he knew that one day, it would be. He had built it himself, Jaken having passed on of old age many years ago. He never expected the little demon to live as long as he; with his superior lineage, he would outlive many.

 

He was still abhorred by the idea of a trade. It seemed that most humans could not live without doing something: farming, fishing, artistry, politics. That hadn't changed, except that now it had become necessary. Whereas he remembered a time where you only needed to feed your family, now you needed to pay for protection. No matter where you lived, there was someone who would squeeze money from you. Once, they had attempted to force money from him. Once.

 

With absolutely no talent except killing, maiming, poisoning, and torture, he had no idea how he would procure these monies that humans were so fond of. He knew they were necessary - clothing, items for your home, and food were all things you had to purchase unless you made them yourself. He could feed himself with no problems - although he found that he needed to eat less and less as he aged - but if he ever needed to be under the guise that he ate human food, he would need to buy some. And that presented the problem. Every year, the humans depended more and more on money, and although they worked, it seemed that less and less was procured through their own sweat, as when you had to farm your own vegetables and weave your own clothing. But eventually, he started a few businesses that grew with time, and he found that he enjoyed the aspects of owning companies while others did the work. It allowed him to keep up his façade - if he didn't have to be there constantly, then he wouldn't seem like the all-powerful, barely-aging creature he was.

 

He had quite the shock when a far descendant of Kagome's friends and Rin - a boy that had been born with hauntingly familiar blue eyes - had decided he was going to take after his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Miroku. Mikos were practically powerless by now, but in this family, the holy blood still flowed strong. He watched from afar as the boy built a shrine near his families' home, a house that had been there for nearly two centuries and passed down. It was very near to the well and the Sacred Tree. The boy flourished there as the town's practicing monk, performing ceremonies and selling sutras to people as preventing wards. There were no youkai troubling Edo - they thought it was because of the powerful lineage of Miroku, not because an indebted Taiyoukai was keeping them safe - so there was no need for him to exorcise. He was very successful, and when he married and had children, his young niece took over the duties although he remained at the shrine. He traveled a bit, building a home in Shimane, a still-wild area that had mountains and fresh air.

 

Over the years, the shrine was rebuilt several times, expanding, growing, and becoming more beautiful. Many acres it covered, and included a good part of Inuyasha's forest. That family had adopted the name `Higurashi', as well as some of the other descendants of Miroku, Sango, Rin, and Kohaku. The women were married off and took their husbands' names, but the men kept the family name, and because it housed Goshinboku and the well, Sesshoumaru was most diligent about keeping this particular family safe, as they were the direct descendants or Rin, Kohaku, Miroku, and Sango.

 

His own home, standing since the sixteenth century, was in the North, near Sapporo. It made more sense to be in his native Western Lands, but it crawled with humans, becoming quite popular. So he had moved to the North, where humans were more reluctant to live because of the extreme cold. The cold suited him, and the populations were to his liking. He rarely stayed there, only checking to see if his house still stood every decade or so. Besides, what was the point of him ruling the West when there were barely enough youkai in Nippon to defend them against?

 

It was here he fled to during the war with the Americans. He had been on the shrine grounds - the home covered several acres of forest and was on ground level - wandering in the woods near the house when the hair stood up on the back of his neck. He heard the distant sound of planes, which shouldn't have been unusual, but today gave him a spine-tingling sensation. Every inch of his skin was crawling, telling him to flee to his home in the North, but…

 

The mother had gone shopping, and the father was with patrons of the Shrine. Their one and only son was playing alone in his room. There would only be time to save one, and this tore at the demon. He wanted to save both, but he knew he was placing himself in danger as well. With speed that hadn't diminished one bit over the centuries, he raced into the house, grabbed the boy, and fled to his house.

 

He was half-way there when the earth shook as a bomb was dropped onto their homelands, and everywhere, there was chaos.

 

He found out later that the boy - he had never seen him in person, only knew of his existence - was named Katsuo, and had large eyes the color of thunderstorms. He was reminded strongly of a monk he had once known.

 

It happened that an angry man had come to the temple, blaming Buddha for the crime against Nippon. He had opened fire and killed Katsuo's mother, his father wounded but alive; if they hadn't returned, the man would have bled to death or burned in the fire. He had been right to remove the boy, although the threat was different. He hadn't known, but the Atom Bomb had destroyed homes and people far from Tokyo. But the people were confused and distraught, and took it out on each other. The crazed man had also started a fire that burned down much of Inuyasha's forest, the main house, and parts of the shrine, but the well house and Sacred Tree were untouched.

 

Sesshoumaru brought the boy home - he had taken well to Sesshoumaru's explanations - and had to face the grief he had brought upon the preteen. Katsuo had lost much, and on some days, blamed Sesshoumaru. Why hadn't he left him? Why hadn't he let him die with his family? The Taiyoukai was never one to offer words unless they were good, strong words, and so he said nothing. But he allowed the boy to cry into his kimono, and that, it seemed, was enough.

 

More out of well-being than of debt or duty, Sesshoumaru stayed with Katsuo and helped rebuild his home as his father recovered. The impure soil had to be cleansed, and after some time, they wound up rebuilding most of the shrine on high ground. The rest of the city was also consistently trying to make the ground flatter, more level, and so each year, the shrine was adding a steeper climb. They also lost acreage to politicians, builders, and overall land requests. The shrine became smaller, to both of their dismay.

 

Katsuo, a man of the holy sort, hadn't really tried to procure a wife. But with his light hair and grey eyes, he attracted them. But it wasn't good enough for his father, who was becoming older and greyer; Katsuo had him move in, since the aging man was carrying on so much. He insisted that the Higurashi name be carried on, and tried to set up Katsuo on several dates. Sesshoumaru, who had been trying to distance himself once more from the family, returned to his home in the North.

 

In his absence, Katsuo had more time to think. One day, he found himself walking through the shopping district. He met a young woman there who was trying desperately to get the police to release a young boy accused of stealing. She offered to pay for whatever it was, and they let the boy go. Intrigued, Katsuo approached the woman.

 

“Why did you do that?”

 

He looked curious, not angry. So she answered. “Compassion is the greatest and hardest emotion to master.”

 

He was stunned, not only by her words, but by her beauty. She had large brown eyes, and hair of the same color that waved down her back. But most amazing was her smile. So generous, it seemed that it welcomed anyone. He thought he could die happy if he could wake up next to that smile for the rest of his life.

 

He courted her, and they were married a year later. Katsuo had told his wife of the mysterious youkai that had helped him that day so many years ago, and they agreed an invitation was necessary. Sesshoumaru went to the wedding, although he remained hidden in the trees, only leaving his gift of thousands of yen. They seemed happy, and that was enough for him.

 

The biggest surprise came two years later, when the announcement arrived at his home that the couple would be having their first child. There would be a private ritual, and his presence was requested. He rolled his golden eyes at the silly notion, but he thought it wouldn't hurt, and agreed. The day came when he was called at his home to come to the shrine on the next day - the ceremony would be in the afternoon. He set out immediately, opting for taking the train so to appear normal, and arrived a few hours later. But he was unprepared for what he was going to see.

 

He walked into the home, and his eyes zeroed in on the bundle in Katsuo's arms. The baby, obviously a girl from the pink blanket, had brilliant black hair and wide blue eyes.

 

“Welcome, Sesshoumaru-sama,” Katsuo said, a huge grin on his face. “I would like to introduce my daughter, Kagome.”

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

Kagome chatted happily with her mother as they cleaned up the dinner they had made and shared with the family. Inuyasha was on the sofa, playing Souta's newest video game, with her younger brother giving pointers. Her grandfather had gone upstairs to sleep. It seemed like every year, he was going to bed earlier and earlier.

 

“Kagome,” her mother said quietly, “you never told me what brought all this on. Why did Inuyasha become human? I thought you liked him as a hanyou?”

 

Kagome understood her mother's concern. After all, she had wondered about this too. But with Inuyasha, sometimes you had to look behind the words to find the actual meaning.

“Well, he told me it had to do with making me happy. He said that he needed to be human for us to be happy together, like when we go out. But… that's not the real reason, I think.” Her mother was watching her, allowing her to continue. “I think it's because…” Kagome blushed, not wanting to share the details of her love life with her mother, of all people. Her mother had the decency to turn back to the dish she was soaping. Kagome sighed. “I think it's because when we were… together… he might have sensed that my mind was… elsewhere.”

 

Ah. She wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what it meant. She had seen both brothers. The resemblance, although very different, was also very similar. The golden eyes, the silver hair. It was enough to keep Kagome sad. So Inuyasha had sacrificed his power, and gave up his demonic heritage, to become someone that wouldn't remind Kagome of Sesshoumaru. In a brief fit of rage, the older woman cursed whatever gods had deemed it necessary for these two particular brothers to fall in love with her daughter. The anger subsided quickly - anger was never a large part of her soul - and she knew that despite all the heartache, Kagome couldn't be in better hands. Both brothers loved her immensely and would do anything for her, whether it was staying with her family for centuries or becoming someone you weren't born as. She just wished it wasn't hurting her daughter so damned much. And she was very grateful that Sesshoumaru was taking his promise seriously, that he would not reveal himself until the right time. But… when was the right time? As it were, it didn't seem like he would ever be able to show his face, unless he wanted to crush the poor girl.

 

“Hm, I see. Well, it seems he cares for you very much,” she told her daughter. She was relieved that the younger woman, blissfully oblivious, had no idea that the statement could be applied to both men.

 

Kagome smiled. “Yes, he does,” she agreed.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

“Man, Kagome, I can't believe how powerful you've gotten,” Inuyasha said as they strolled around the shrine grounds.

 

She shrugged, not really impressed with herself, but still feeling good that she could do so much for people.

 

“I don't really see it that way. I mean, I like helping people. And if this is what I have to do, then this is it.”

 

They had been lucky. Those that she had healed - the old woman with the horrible gash and her daughter-in-law with cancer - had been discreet, only donating what they could to the shrine. Today, Kayo had called - it was a month later, and she had gone back to the doctor today for a follow-up - to tell her not only had the doctors been baffled by her `miraculous' recovery, and to ask her permission to bring by a little boy that was stricken with her same disease, only in juvenile form.

 

Inuyasha had been furious - he didn't want to ever see Kagome in that position again, where she put her life in danger for another's - but Kagome was adamant. Not only would she be saving a life, but it was a child. Knowing she could give a young boy a new start was heartening. She told Kayo to bring the boy over when she was able.

 

The following day, they had just finished lunch when Kayo called from down the steps. Kagome sighed. It was times like this that she wished Inuyasha had not wished to be human; his hanyou strength would help right about now. But he was still strong, and although it took some time, they eventually got Kayo, the wheelchair, and the boy with his equipment up the towering shrine steps.

 

“Put me down, you big idiot!” the boy yelled in to Inuyasha's ear.

 

He was very tempted to do just that, although not so gently, when Kagome pinched his arm.

 

“Ow! Damn, woman!” he cried, frustrated that he couldn't even rub the spot since his arms were full with a skinny, sick seven year old.

 

“Tetsu, don't be rude. Kagome-chan is going to help you,” Kayo admonished gently.

 

He pouted and crossed his arms, but listened. Kagome chuckled.

 

“Tetsu, is it?” Kagome approached the boy, holding out a hand. He eyed it warily and nodded.

 

“Okay, Tetsu-chan. So, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?”

 

She nodded minutely to Inuyasha, who glared at her but began to put the boy down gently. Once he was standing, Inuyasha let go completely, but the boy wavered. Inuyasha couldn't help feeling guilty as he steadied the boy with his hands, but Tetsu smacked at him. Kagome giggled, and he smiled at the sound. Then the cancer-stricken boy, his choppy, liver-colored hair in his eyes, began to speak.

 

The anger was clear in his voice, but he spoke quietly. “My name is Tetsugumi, but everyone calls me Tetsu.” He looked at Kayo, who smiled gently. “I was diagnosed with a type of bone cancer when I was two. I've been fighting it, but I've stopped responding to treatments.” He looked away, and Kagome could see the pain in his dark, almost black eyes. “I stopped chemo a while ago, which is why I have hair, unlike her,” he said, smiling as he nodded in Kayo's direction. “But I have to stay at the hospital, `cause my family can't afford to have me at home with all this stuff.” He raised his arm, as if to accentuate the point with the trailing tubes that ran from his arm to the pole that Kagome still held in her hands.

 

They were all quiet for a moment, and then he smiled, but it was a dark, ominous grin. “I was gonna ask them - my parents - to take me to a baseball game for my final wish.”

 

Kagome's eyes began to water, and she couldn't help but wrap her arms gingerly around the fragile yet strong boy. He tried to push her off at first, but she clung as if her life depended on it, and he relented.

 

“I'm so sorry, Tetsu,” she whispered.

 

He shrugged.

 

“You don't need to be so strong, you know,” she continued. “It's okay to cry. You have been through so much, things that no one - especially a child - deserves to go through.” She was stroking his hair now, but he was resisting, pulling away from her. But she held fast. “And I'm going to do what I can for you. So it's okay to cry.” He still attempted to get away, and now, she let him.

 

He didn't look at her. “Kayo's just in remission. There's nothing you can do for me,” he said stubbornly.

 

He reminded her so much of Inuyasha that she laughed. Stubborn boys.

 

He turned to look at her, accusation and disbelief writ plain across his face. He raised an eyebrow, sending her into a rolling laughter. No one else caught on, so she laughed while the other three stared on.

 

“What's up with her?” Tetsu asked Inuyasha.

 

Inuyasha shrugged, but it was a defeated sort of shrug, as if there was always something wrong with the priestess and she wasn't to be trusted to committing to one particular emotional state.

 

When Kagome was under control, she clapped her hands together, her smile bright. “Okay! Let's get to it!”

 

Tetsu eyed her warily. Inuyasha brought the wheelchair close for him to step into, and when the boy wasn't paying attention, he bumped him from behind, making Tetsu fall into the seat. Kayo and Kagome both gasped at his treatment, but Tetsu just turned to glare. Inuyasha chuckled to himself and wheeled the boy towards the house, Kagome scurrying to catch up since she was in charge of the attached I.V. Tetsu turned to Kagome.

 

“Jeez, you married this guy?”

 

Kagome only smiled in response, wondering if Tetsu would fall in love with a girl like herself one day. She only hoped the girl would love him back.

 

Once they were just outside the wooden sliding door that opened to the kitchen, they stood - except Tetsu, who remained in the chair - in a circle. Kagome allowed Kayo to remove the boy's needle from his arm - he was fine with it, but threatened to `flatten' her if he had to have another one put in later. The woman simply looked at him and smiled. She remembered a time when she, too, would have thought that life without cancer was impossible. It was a shame that this was all the boy knew of his life, which is why she had brought him to Kagome.

 

When she was done, she pushed the things aside and held the boy's hand, but Kagome instructed her not to. She wasn't sure how her power worked, and if some of it flowed to her, the boy might not get completely healed. It didn't make much sense, but Kagome didn't want to take any chances. She got ready, kneeling in front of the boy, and Inuyasha crouched protectively behind her, his arms spread as if he was about to catch her.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked Inuyasha, who only glared at the boy.

 

“It's for… after,” Kagome told him, smiling sadly.

 

She hated losing consciousness, but it was worth it, to lift the fog of despair and hopelessness that this boy had known his entire life. She looked back at Inuyasha who nodded to her, and she took a deep breath. After letting it out, she set her features into pure determination, which scared the boy.

 

“Okay. I'm going to put my hands on you, and you'll feel…” here, she looked to Kayo, who smiled as she explained.

 

“Oh, a little tingly and warm, I'd say.”

 

Kagome nodded and smiled. “Tingly and warm.”

 

The boy eyed her warily, but didn't stop her when she reached out for his skin. She placed a hand on each frail arm, closed her eyes, and released.

 

The bright light encompassed them all, and in truth, they all felt a little warm and tingly. Except Kagome, who was sweating and light-headed from the exertion. She was stronger now, after a month of healing and finally having her appetite back. And this was why Inuyasha really couldn't say no. After a few late-night discussions with her mother, Inuyasha was convinced that what was healing Kagome's heart - and soul - was the healing of others' bodies. As she was fulfilled in her duty, her mind became clearer and she became happier. She would never be the same - not completely - but she was a hell of a lot better. And unless this killed her, she would be even happier tomorrow.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

Again, she woke in her bed. But it seemed like this time, only a few hours had passed. Either that, or she had just happened to wake up a few days and a few hours after. Inuyasha's wide smile, however, convinced her that it hadn't been too long at all.

 

“How long?” she asked, a little surprised at how cracked her voice was.

 

“Four hours,” he answered, handing her a cup of cooling tea.

 

She drank greedily, and when it was gone, she thanked him. “And Tetsu?”

 

Inuyasha laughed. “You'll never believe.” There was a sparkle to his eye that not only gave Kagome hope, but lifted her spirits. She leaned towards him in her anxiety to know. He chuckled. “He's outside…” He watched her face fall, her eyes going to the cup she held in her lap. “He's outside… playing soccer with Souta.”

 

Kagome's eyes shot to his, her mouth dropping open. “He's… playing… what?!”

 

Inuyasha laughed heartily. “Soc-cer,” he said slowly, as if to a mentally handicapped person.

 

She slapped him playfully on his chest, then ran to the window. And there, she saw the beginning of a new life.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

He had stayed for a while, but eventually, Kayo had to take him back to the hospital, since they were expecting him back. But she had called his parents and told them everything, and they were eager to see for themselves. As they hugged, the tears came, both for Kagome and Tetsu.

 

“Kagome, I…” A sob cut him short, and he realized he really didn't know what to say.

 

Her tears were the happy sort, and she hugged the boy fiercely. “Tetsu, promise me something?”

 

He wondered at her nervous tone. “What?”

 

“Promise me that you'll visit every once in a while?”

 

He chuckled. “Sure thing, Kagome.”

 

Inuyasha smiled as he watched them. He marveled at the way Kagome made life-long friends. His thoughts turned to the family they had left behind in the Feudal Era, and it wiped the grin off his face. After a few more moments, the two separated.

 

Tetsu turned to Inuyasha suddenly with a fierce expression. The boy wasn't stupid - he knew that the couple had something slightly off about them. Like there was a sort of one-sided devotion to them. Coming from the husbands' side. He didn't like it. He could see that Kagome was a beautiful woman, but seemed sadder than she should be. But he also knew that grown-ups had their problems - like how mom and dad had money problems - and he couldn't say too much.

 

Inuyasha saw the boy's resolve and wondered what was going on. He had gone from playful to crying to… this. It was like another Kagome, but in boy form. He frowned, knowing the boy was about to speak.

 

“Listen. Kagome is… special. Just…” He paused, sighing. He wasn't sure what to say. It was obvious the man loved Kagome, but he didn't know how to get the point across to keep her happy. “I guess there isn't anything I can say. `Bye.”

 

And after Kayo said her farewells, it was once again only their family. Kayo would explain the importance of secrecy and Kagome was sure he would be a good friend to them.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

He remembered that it had been hard. How could he have been so naïve? He should have realized it when the descendants of Rin's family and Miroku's family began to make their home around Goshinboku. He should have realized it when a boy in the family with bright blue eyes built a shrine there. And then, it hit him - hard - when he had to stare into the same blue eyes he had fallen in love with, although they were only a day old. Oh, how he had wished he had known what Kagome's family name had been. He had wished she had shown him a picture of her parents. But there was nothing to be done now.

 

So one day, before she was old enough to remember him, Sesshoumaru came to the Higurashi shrine, and told Kagome's parents of her future. He told them of how the two had met, and how they had fallen in love. He was fair, telling them also that when she became fifteen, she would fall into the well and also into love - with his brother.

 

It took hours to explain the whole back story up to this point - leaving out the more, er, intimate parts - but he finally came to the peak of the tale; it hurt to tell of his loss, and he was shamed to tell of his pride. Katsuo knew the demon well and accepted the story, although he was not fond of the outcome. Kagome's mother, however, was not as supportive. She was angry that this youkai's pride would hurt her daughter so much and that she wouldn't be able to warn her so as to keep her from that pain. But the fear of changing the present was too much, and they both swore they would never tell Kagome that they knew of her future. Equally, he swore that he would stay out of her life until the right moment. If ever it seemed she truly needed him, he would be all too happy to replace himself in her life. But until then, he would only watch over her from a distance. Katsuo's father was given minimal details; he knew Sesshoumaru was a demon, but he was given no details of the future.

 

Now he was here yet again, those same hard, angry, chocolate-brown eyes glaring at him.

 

“Sesshoumaru, you can't keep doing this. With all due respect, she doesn't need you. She's finally getting better, and she's going to have to use her powers occasionally to heal people. If you love her, you will not let her find out about you. Inuyasha may not be able to sense you any longer, but that doesn't mean he will act kindly if he knows you are here.”

 

What could he say? That there was an inescapable pull towards her whenever her powers flared so strongly? That his youki was telling him that there was something wrong with Kagome and that he had to come? She wouldn't understand these things. But he knew she understood his love for her - the pity in her eyes told him that much.

 

“I had to come.”

 

She sighed. “I know. It's just that… If she hadn't accepted Inuyasha, I would have no quarrel with you coming here. But for her own reasons, she did. And that means that while the two of them are happy…” - he didn't miss the suspicious way her eyes darted from his face as she said this - “ you cannot interfere. If she found out now that you were alive and here… Well, it would devastate her. And Inuyasha… Do you know why he wished upon the jewel?”

 

Rin had told him it was his brother's choice, but not why. By the look in the woman's eyes, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He shook his head minutely as an answer.

 

“Because he reminded her so often of you. He sacrificed his life as a hanyou to make her happy, because she sacrificed herself to make him happy, as his bride.”

 

Sesshoumaru wasn't the type to ever weep, but he felt the sudden urge to cry. Not that he actually would, he just felt like wanting to cry.

 

“Is she happy?” He hadn't dared to ask this question before. But now, the way the woman had said `sacrificed'…

 

“She is… well.”

 

The hesitation was enough. He knew the answer to the question. A growl began to rumble in his chest, his beast unsatisfied with the new knowledge. He took a step towards the entrance.

 

“Oh, no you don't,” the stern woman said, her hand on the demon's chest. She frowned at him, knowing he was honorable enough not to enter without permission. “You may think you will be doing her good, but in the end, no one will be happy. Kagome will destroy Inuyasha, and no matter your past, you will hate yourself. And later, she will blame herself. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to let this play out. If, one day, she realizes she is unhappy and wants him to leave, then that will be different. But for now, you must let her be.”

 

He knew she was right, but he still didn't like it. The idea that his now-mortal brother was touching her - and she was touching him - was enough to make him want to race up those stairs and take her away. But as her mother has clearly stated, it wasn't possible. She surprised him with her next statement.

 

Her head was hung low as she spoke, unable to meet his eyes. “We're leaving.” She chanced a look at him once the words were out.

 

She was stunned by the show of emotion - he looked almost human, the way his wide eyes showed his apprehension and his brow wrinkled in surprise. “What I mean is, Souta is going off to a sports High School, and grandpa and I are going to Shimane.”

 

This was new. He knew the simple country home of the Higurashi's, having followed them there during different generations. But it was usually used as a vacation home. Then again, with Katsuo's father so old and with nowhere to go, it would be the only place to go if Kagome was to inherit the shrine. But it was still a jolt; mother and daughter were very attached to each other, and he knew from experience that Kagome had inherited her fiery, emotional nature from her mother, which would make it even harder to separate the two. So why the change?

 

“Why?”

 

Now, she was more afraid than ever to tell him the truth, but what did it matter? He needed to know, and if she was honest with herself, she wanted him to suffer a little for the pain he had inflicted in the past with his prideful, selfish nature. Quickly, she retracted her thoughts. No, it was wrong to blame him. He is a different creature with a different upbringing. And he had truly loved Kagome. He had suffered enough. But he still deserved to know. She only hoped he would keep to his promise to stay away.

 

“To give them… privacy.”

 

She didn't hear him leave. But she imagined it had been too much for him; she knew it would be too painful to continue a conversation, let alone stay for a farewell.

 

As she closed the door, she wondered if she would ever see the demon she had known her entire adult life again.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

Time had gone by so quickly - too quickly - that Kagome didn't have time to adjust to the idea that her entire family was leaving. How would she survive without her mother's cooking? How would she cope without her brother's constant teasing? And if she had to, she would even admit she would miss her grandfather's ramblings.

 

The ceremony was short to her, but she remembered that her own was similar; after all, Souta graduated from the same Middle School that she had. Soon, they were at the shrine celebrating. There were many fifteen year olds there, and Inuyasha had problems with a few of the boys that had an eye on his wife's legs.

 

Even married and recovering from depression, Kagome could attract men. She was wearing normal clothes - a pleated pink skirt with a white oxford shirt - since the shrine was closed for the family's celebration. And Inuyasha's face formed a permanent scowl for the rest of the evening as the young boys continuously took turns dancing with Kagome, who didn't have the heart to turn them down. It was Souta who finally shooed them away, when he realized what was happening.

 

Surprisingly, there were a fair amount of girls there. Souta was a handsome boy, and his funny, charming nature paired with his natural athletic ability made for a good catch in the young girls' eyes. Kagome was defensively grateful that he was going to a high school that was almost completely made up of boys. But the ones here were very nice - she was pleased that Souta kept himself in good company, for the most part. It even seemed like one in particular was his girlfriend. He returned to her constantly and she seemed sad. Kagome made a mental note to ask her brother about the girl later.

 

When it was said and done, the kids said their goodbyes and wished Souta luck. Kagome didn't remember seeing the sad girl leave, and suddenly noticed Souta missing, too. She snuck to the grand staircase and saw them there, at the bottom. He held her, and she seemed to be crying. After a few moments, he spoke into her ear, and they kissed. Kagome felt ashamed spying on her brother, so she returned to the house with a sly smile on her face. Oh yes, Souta would have some `splainin' to do.

 

Grandfather had gone to bed hours ago, citing a dislike of the abundant youth and noise. Kagome and her mother busied themselves cleaning up, and Inuyasha helped by bringing down the decorations and putting away the tables and chairs. No one said anything when Souta trudged mournfully into the house an hour later. They all knew what was going on, but no one wanted to say anything; they let him stomp up the stairs and close his door harder than was necessary.

 

Inuyasha wanted to say something, but he often lacked the tact to speak about matters of the heart, no matter how he had changed. The women both stopped him from such a travesty. Kagome told her mother she would speak with him; the one thing the siblings could always do together was talk. They finished up a few minutes later, and Kagome's mother retired for the night.

 

Inuyasha had made himself comfortable on the sofa some time ago, and Kagome joined him there. He was watching the news, and Kagome allowed herself to loose herself in other peoples' problems for a while, lifting her legs and draping them over Inuyasha's lap. When the news was over, Inuyasha settled on flipping through the channels until he found a suitable show as Kagome got up. She kissed his forehead as she passed and he listened to her light footsteps on the wooden stairs. But as he suspected, they didn't go all the way down the hall to their room. Instead, they stopped shortly after reaching the top; she had passed the master bedroom - her mother's - and stopped at the second room. Souta's room.

 

Kagome knocked tentatively on the thin wooden door. There was a slight chance that he was asleep, but if he was anything like her - and really, he wasn't, except when it came to matters of the heart - he would still be awake, tormenting himself with `what-ifs' and `buts'. After a few moments, Kagome was about to turn away when Souta opened the door a few inches. He looked wary at first, but when he saw it was his sister, he opened it all the way.

 

He looked like crap. He probably looked ten shades better than she had when she first came back to this time. Of course she couldn't be sure, since she didn't look in a mirror for the first six months she was there. Keeping any pity from her face, she wrapped an arm around her brother's shoulders, leading him back to his bed. They both sat, and Kagome took a hand in between both of hers.

 

“You know, you don't have to go,” she said after a few moments of silence.

 

He didn't speak at first, but then he looked up from their entwined hands with a look of determination. “I wanted this Kagome. For me to one day be able to marry Suki and support her…”

 

He looked away, embarrassed, as if he had said too much. Kagome smiled knowingly. “But you don't want to leave her.”

 

He looked to her again, capturing her eyes with his tortured brown ones, so like their mother's. “God, it's killin' me, Kagome. Now I know how you…” Again, he turned away, this time worried that he had made his sister upset.

 

A corner of her mouth lifted in a humorless half-smile. After a few moments, he looked back to her. “Can I… ask you something?”

 

“S-sure,” he said, a little dubious.

 

“I…” She released his hand, not only for his sake, but for hers. She was afraid to ask; she was afraid of his answer. In reality, she was pretty sure she knew what he would say. “I wanted to know… how deeply you care for um, Suki, was it?”

 

He smiled sardonically and answered, “She's my Juliet.”

 

Kagome nodded quickly and left, holding back the tears until she got to her room. Later, Inuyasha was surprised to find her on her bed, her knees tucked into her chest and facing the wall. Looks like it's gonna be one of those nights.

 

The next day, the family bustled - except for grandpa - in preparation of Souta's departure. Kagome had begged him to stay - the trip could wait, since school didn't start for a few more weeks - but Souta had insisted, since he hated goodbyes and it would make leaving that much harder. So he made plans with the school to move in the day after graduation, citing a plan to start training earlier. With a heavy air, he packed his clothes, and Kagome helped her mother pack some food. Inuyasha carried some of the bags, and Souta carried the rest, and the whole family trekked to the train station.

 

At the school, which was virtually empty, they helped him unpack and settled him in the room that someone else would eventually move into as his roommate. They talked for a while, but the atmosphere was too somber, and eventually they had to go, leaving Souta to his new life.

 

Because there was nothing else for her to do, Kagome's mother began packing as soon as they got home. Jii-chan packed his meager belongings, and they were both finished by dinnertime. In the middle of their meal, Kagome was shocked to hear her mother say they were leaving tomorrow for Shimane. Like the entire first half of the day, the air was thick with sadness, like a fog. Kagome wanted to cut through it, but she knew that even Tessaiga wouldn't hold out for long; the odd thing about a thick mist was that even if you cleared a small path ahead of you, the fog would roll right back inwards, again cloaking you in shrouds.

 

When they had all finished their supper, everyone stayed in the kitchen. The heavy knowledge that it would be their last official dinner together weighed down the air. Even Jii-chan stayed, which was unusual. He usually went to bed soon after.

 

Kagome and her mother cleaned up in silence, and Inuyasha watched both of them busy themselves, their body language tense. When they were done, it seemed like they all stared at one another. Finally, Kagome's grandfather - unable to hold it any longer - yawned deeply, causing everyone to start laughing. It was a relief, and the air seemed to lift along with their spirits. Grandpa excused himself, and soon his daughter-in-law followed. Kagome settled next to Inuyasha on the sofa, something that was becoming habit simply because she didn't want to be alone. Eventually, she fell asleep, and Inuyasha carried her upstairs carefully, her healthier weight a little harder for him to handle. She didn't wake up until the next morning, however, but it was then that she wished she hadn't woken up.

 

Kagome, having not been to the country home since she was very young, insisted on going. Besides, she didn't remember the way, and she needed to know, just in case. So the four of them boarded the plane and again, there was a heavy air as they unpacked and spoke. The atmosphere was fragile, like it could become solid, fall, and shatter at any moment.

 

When they were back home, Kagome wanted to cry. The house felt unbearably empty, and she knew that she should be hearing her mother clanging around in the kitchen and her grandfather mumbling about this scandal or that holiday festival. Yesterday, she hadn't felt Souta's absence if she didn't think about it, but now she missed his laughter; his voice was beginning to change, and his awkward chuckles had become endearing to her.

 

She had to face it - she was stuck here, alone, with Inuyasha.

 

She knew it wouldn't be all bad. She didn't mind taking care of him; she had lots of practice with less hospitable supplies. But the fact that he was her only company… how would she get by? She clung to the knowledge that her whole family would be returning for her birthday the week after Souta started school. And she would still have to take care of the shrine; hopefully, that would keep her mind occupied.

 

So she spent her days with worshippers, giving advice and saying prayers, and her nights with her husband. She cooked three times a day, and cleaned when she found time. He was in charge of the grounds, cutting grass, trimming bushes, and sweeping the floors of the shrine. After dinner, they would curl up on the couch together and watch TV, except for Kagome's bad days, in which case she would go straight to her room - she had refused to move in to her mother's room - and Inuyasha would give her space, playing Souta's video games; he was unable to bring them to school, so they remained at home.

 

Sometimes, on Kagome's good days, they would have sex. The contact and intimacy was good for Kagome, but she was often left feeling unsatisfied, and felt it wasn't in her to tell Inuyasha how to please her when he had already given up so much to make her happy. So she obliged when he wanted her, and she made sure he was happy. And while she wasn't unhappy, she wasn't happy either. She refused to think of the reasons, but sometimes - albeit rarely - that reason would reassert himself in her dreams. And she was reminded of why she wasn't the fiery, brilliant light she used to be.

----------END CHAPTER------------

E/N: Please, forgive me for whatever historical atrocities I've committed. I'm lazy, and didn't feel like looking up actual facts from WWII. I DO know it was Hiroshima and surrounding areas that were bombed, but the point was that Sesshoumaru felt danger, even it was far away. I needed to make certain things come true, so I twisted history for my and my story's benefit. Know this: if it sounds wrong, assume I made it up.

I also want to give a shout-out to the lovely and talented oxrosesthornxo (AKA xbitternessx), who penned - in my opinion - the best Alternate Universe InuKag story EVER, Savvy. For you InuKag fans, if you haven't read it, you need to. I got by all these InuKag scenes by rereading that story, because ultimately, I prefer Sesshoumaru with Kagome. But Savvy is so simple and sweet and intriguing that I loved it, and it's great inspiration for writing scenes with the canon pairing. I know you can find it on MediaMiner, and I believe on ff.net as well.