InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ That's the Way Love Goes ❯ XVIII ( Chapter 18 )

A/N: Thanks to those of you that are still reading, reviewing, and loving this story. Fans of Inuyasha, please - no death threats (you think I'm kidding, but…). Thanks. Quiet Storm (MediaMiner) - I love you dearly. I hope this turns out the way you like, although I know you've become fond of `human' Inuyasha.

ATTENTION! I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I have to go on hiatus for a few weeks. I've had some problems recently (I had out-of-town company for a few weeks, then I was sick for a couple more, then my mother was nearly hospitalized…) so I hadn't been able to update. NOW, I need to leave you all again, so I wanted to post this before I stopped. We're finally moving! It's silly, since it's only a few streets down, but we're moving in ten days - it came up very suddenly, so I'm not prepared. It's going to take all my attention, so I'm only going on the computer to read through emails, check messages/reviews, etc. So I'm sorry that the next chapter isn't going to be out as soon as you would hope. But I'm not giving up, I promise.

 

“I'm looking to the sky to save me;
Looking for a sign of life…
Looking for something to help me burn out bright.
I'm looking for a complication,
Looking cause I'm tired of lying (trying)…
Make my way back home when I learn to fly.” - Learn To Fly, Foo Fighters

 

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XVIII

 

 

 

 

The doctor's office had called as usual to remind her that her next appointment was tomorrow at two in the afternoon. She remembered. And even if she could forget, the hyper-anxious father would remind her. He was on top of all the visits to the obstetrician, and he was increasingly jumpy as the weeks wore on. Part of it was the fact that there were only four more weeks left. The other part was that he was going to show Kagome the room he had finished for Sango tomorrow after they got back home.

 

She wasn't particularly looking forward to the visit, since they would be doing another ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. The last one hurt, and she was positive this wouldn't be any easier. Inuyasha tried to ease her mind, and she didn't want to worry him further, so she would smile and agree with him. And there was this nagging feeling that something was wrong. She didn't know why, but the suspicion that not all was well kept bothering her, even though she could feel Sango kicking, active as ever. Perhaps it was a good thing that they were taking another look at her tomorrow. It would definitely assuage her concern.

 

In the mean time, she wasn't particularly fond of Inuyasha. There was only a month left, and they still didn't have a room for Sango! She kept asking him, and even though he seemed happy, he kept putting it off. There was always something more important to do. Or there were times when - while she was asleep - he said he napped as well. And no matter how much he had done the previous day, he'd always have more to do the next day.

 

Well, she wasn't going to put up with it anymore.

 

“Inuyasha,” she called softly while changing into something different for her appointment.

 

He popped his head into the bathroom. “What?”

 

Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He might be a great husband, and she was sure he'd be an even better father, but nothing could change his manners. “You really need to start converting one of the rooms. I've tried to ask my mother which one she thinks…”

 

“Kagome,” he said, his voice strained. He knew there was an argument coming. He didn't like it; he was sure it wasn't good for Kagome or the baby. And he wanted so badly to surprise her. “I really have a lot to do today…”

 

Wrong choice of words.

 

Instantly, Kagome's old fire came back, and he began to prepare himself for a good `sitting' when he remembered that not only were the Kotodama not around his neck any longer, but they wouldn't work even if they were there. He had no demonic blood. But that didn't make him less afraid of the look in her eyes.

 

“Inuyasha,” she grumbled in the same low tone she had used that usually proceeded `OSUWARI!', “you have been saying that for the past month. We need to put all that stuff somewhere, and it needs to be done before the baby comes home.”

 

He wanted to be angry. There was something about Kagome's all-knowing tone that had always tweaked his temper, and he wanted to put her in her place. He briefly imagined doing so. `You want a damn baby's room?' he would shout. Then he would drag her by the arm to Souta's old room and shove the door open. `Here. Here's the damn room.' And then he would enjoy the shock on her face as she ate her words and pulled the foot from her mouth. But alas, it wasn't going to happen that way.

 

“I know, Kagome. Like I said, I've had a lot on my plate. I'll get it done, okay?”

 

“No, Inuyasha! It's not okay! You've been saying that forever! And I don't even see you starting! You sound like my mother! `You have plenty of time, Kagome'. Ha! You'd think she'd remember how hectic this is! But nooooooo… You two seem to have the same disease - some kind of illness that chills you out when you should be panicking!”

 

Her voice had gone up to a shrieking level at the end, and Inuyasha was glad for his human hearing.

 

He sighed, and almost gave in. But there wasn't time. She'd just have to be mad at him for a little longer. One thing's for sure, she'd have to give it up tonight for all the yelling she'd been doing. “Okay, Kagome,” he said a little too patronizingly, holding his hands up as if in surrender. “I'll do it as soon as we get back, okay? Your mom said to go ahead and do Souta's room, so…”

 

“You talked to my mom about it?” she interrupted in a typical mood swing. “When was this? Wait… forget it. But all his stuff…”

 

She turned, and started to walk out of the bedroom, presumably to check the state of Souta's room, which she didn't remember entering in quite some time. Inuyasha jumped to catch her, and managed to both scare her and get a hold of the long, flowing skirt she was wearing. He had uttered something similar to a shriek, but it sounded something like “no!” Her heart pounding over his reaction, Kagome whirled, looking at the hand that was mostly hidden within the folds of the skirt.

 

“Inuyasha,” she gasped, “what is going on with you?”

 

If he had thought he was panicked before, he was sadly mistaken. Because now was the time to panic.

 

He looked down, finding it hard to lie. “Um… I, uh… that is… we don't have time. Because, er…” He looked up at her to find her scowling at him. “Kuso! Can we just go and you can do whatever you want later?”

 

“Why are you in such a hurry, Inuyasha?” She was calmer now, obviously using some of the techniques she had learned to meditate.

 

“Well, look at the time, Kagome!” he said, exasperated now. He just had to get her away from the house, and he was reaching for excuses. In truth, they had plenty of time. “I mean, there's gonna be people everywhere, and…”

 

“But that doesn't matter now. You know that ever since I got pregnant, I haven't had any… er, pains.” She hadn't explained the whole situation to him, but it had slipped out that she had been feeling uncomfortable around sick people.

 

“Yeah, I know,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck with a rough palm. He was running out of excuses.

 

She looked down at his other hand, which was still clenched tightly into her clothing. Sighing, she glanced at the clock. They probably should leave…

 

“All right. Let's go,” she told him, still unsure of his silly antics. The feeling of anxiousness still curled deep in her, like a cobra getting ready to strike at the first provocation.

 

He seemed desperate to keep her from going any further. Even though she had promised to leave, he held on to her skirt as he used his free hand to reach forward, grasping her own. Then he attempted a nervous smile, and she reciprocated with her own. She felt jittery, like a single impala in the middle of the savannah - ready to bolt. Between her own panicky feeling and the fact that Inuyasha seemed to be just as nervous was making her crazy. Perhaps taking it slow and getting her fair share of fresh air would be good for her. As it was, Sango was kicking like she was trying out for the J-League Soccer Team. She felt Kagome's frantic nerves, and she didn't like it one bit. Just like Sango, Kagome thought. Trying to calm the situation with violence. She had to smile at the memory of her friend swinging her Hiraikotsu around at them when they fought amongst themselves.

 

Man, she really missed Sango.

 

Now Inuyasha was leading her, tightly gripping her hand; he was probably ready to jerk her away should she attempt to stray off his path. Once downstairs, however, he loosened his grip. Kagome couldn't believe how ridiculous he was being. But she had promised, and so together, they exchanged their house slippers for their shoes and left.

 

That didn't make her any happier with him.

 

Annoyed, she stayed silent for the majority of the trip down the stairs. God, how did her mother do this? Twice! It's true that she shouldn't complain on the way down, since that was easy by comparison - it took almost an hour to go back up those steps. But just the jostling that occurred during the wobbly descent was enough to make her wish more than ever that her ancestors had built something like a lift into the grand scheme of things. It would have helped when she was younger, carrying up groceries. And it would have helped now.

 

Inuyasha, made mellow by both his now-clean blood and the fact that he was to become a father, helped her as much as he could. He held her hand, steadied her, and when she was near the bottom, he would pick her up and carry her. She was heavier, and he no longer had the strength to cart her around endlessly like he once did, but he could manage a flight of stairs. Angry as she was with him, Kagome couldn't deny that it felt good to be carried the short rest of the way down. But it wouldn't be the same, stubborn Kagome if she hadn't ignored him and refused to say `thank you' while she was being carried. Even once they were both back on solid ground, she just heaved a sigh of relief and kept going.

 

The streets of Tokyo weren't too bad at this time. Kagome preferred to walk rather than take the always-crowded subway. That and the train's rocking motion made her nauseous. So they always made sure they had time for both the stairs and the walk there. The only downside to all this was that once she was home, Kagome was completely exhausted. She felt like she had just done battle with Kagura, Naraku, Byakuya, the Band of Seven, Moryoumaru, and Kanna at the same time. By herself. She would go to bed when they finally got back up the stairs - Inuyasha would carry her up the other set of stairs, inside the house, or she would fall asleep on the couch - and would only wake up for a few minutes to eat whatever take-out Inuyasha had procured. Then she would easily fall back asleep for the remainder of the day. Luckily, this only had to be done once a month, but since she was so close, her doctor now wanted to see her in two weeks. Ugh, two weeks.

 

Inuyasha knew she was purposely giving him the cold shoulder. It was very typical Kagome behavior, if not amplified by pregnancy hormones. That didn't matter. When they got home, she would be even angrier when he asked her not to go to sleep immediately; he had something to show her. He was not anticipating this moment, knowing how cranky she got when something came between her and sweet oblivion. But everything would be washed away when he opened Souta's room and saw her face. She would know that he had worked on it for some time.

 

Of course, a few things were missing. Items that friends and family had brought or sent to them had been piling up in the living room. One day, Kagome had nearly tripped on a small box that had fallen over; she hadn't seen it because she couldn't see her own feet. When her heart had slowed enough for her to speak, she had gone on a rampage, telling Inuyasha that everything had to go, and if that meant the garbage - since there was nowhere to put it all - then so be it. She didn't care how badly she needed a changing table.

 

He had seen it as an opportunity. She was livid, and most likely would not want to do this herself. He had stepped in, playing the good guy and winning her over.

 

“Kagome, let me find somewhere to put all of this, okay?”

 

She was on a precipice. “Why do I even need all this crap!” she bellowed. “I mean, do I really need this many baby bags?”

 

He agreed, but he didn't want her to think throwing everything out would solve everything. This was his chance. “You take a nap. By the time you wake up, everything will be on a shelf or closet or somethin'.” This was partly true. He hadn't lied. Except… She would know there was no room anywhere for the crib. “I'll leave the crib here. Think you can manage goin' around it?” he said teasingly.

 

She glared daggers at him but stomped up the stairs. This was good - it meant that not only could he save these things from the garbage, but he could store most of them where they belonged. She hadn't been suspicious because he hadn't put the crib away, but he had saved a spot for it in Sango's room. Most of the things had indeed been unpacked and placed somewhere in the room.

 

Of course, she would probably rearrange things now, after she saw it. But that was what he had intended. He wasn't one of those - what did Kagome call them? Interior designers? - people that knew where everything was and picked out colors and crap. Hell, he had only gotten the idea after he had found some leftover pink paint from Kagome's room. It had been old as hell and a little crusty, but it had worked. Souta's room had been a green color, but it was separated halfway down by a wooden border. The light green was still bright and clean, so he had painted the bottom half, which had just made it. There had been exactly enough to paint that portion; he was grateful, because otherwise, he would be using the leftover green paint to cover what he had just painted.

 

Kagome had slept long that day and he had diverted her attention when she had awoken.

 

“Inuyasha… do you smell that?”

 

His ears - had they still been white, fluffy triangles atop his head - would have been a dead giveaway and would be laying flat against his head. “Er, what're you talkin' about?”

 

She sniffed a few times, and he found it amusing. Surely, if he had done it, she would have made a comment about his sense of smell…

 

“It smells… I don't know. Kinda like paint.” She sniffed a few more times. “You really don't smell that?”

 

He averted his eyes. “No. I don't smell anything unusual. Maybe it's that super-smell you have now, picking up something on the wind.”

 

Only Inuyasha would make it sound like she was scenting the air like a dog.

 

“I don't know - it smells close. And fresh…”

 

“I dunno, Kagome. I don't smell it. By the way, I picked up some takoyaki-“

 

Instantly, Kagome's stomach growled loud enough for both to hear, and she was suddenly ravenous. “Really? What else did you get?”

 

“Well…”

 

It was too easy. It wasn't hard to read Kagome's body nowadays. She only required three main things: sleep, food, and the bathroom. These were the things that she spent her time with. Of course, she didn't spend much time in the bathroom, but it seemed like she was on the toilet at least thirty times a day. So now that she had woken up, he had known food would be the next resource she required. Unless…

 

“Oh! Give me a second,” she said before waddling to the small bathroom on the ground level of the house.

 

Inuyasha chuckled as he began to lay out the food. Bathroom or not, she would only smell the food once she was done…

 

It was a good memory, but he couldn't share it with her until she knew the truth. Tomorrow, after she woke up, he would tell her, and she would laugh. But right now, she was still simmering from their spat. As was her style, she didn't let it go once, even when they were sitting together in the doctor's office with other pregnant couples chatting away. Not even when they were in the room, the nurse hovering over her with an instrument that let you hear the baby's heartbeat.

 

She had looked over her shoulder at him once - a cold, glaring expression - when the doctor had asked happily, “So, are you ready?” It had been obvious what he had meant - if Kagome was ready for childbirth and what came after. But she had purposefully taken it another way, twisting the words to find her own meaning. Inuyasha was disheartened to see she was still furious. She had told him that when pregnant, the hormones caused you to forget things. That would come in handy now, but unfortunately, she remembered their conversation with amazing clarity. The location of her keys was an entirely different topic…

 

“No,” she said, looking at her obstetrician after leveling her husband with a dangerous expression.

 

The man saw the interaction and started to feel uncomfortable. “Okay, so we have another measurement to do, and then in two weeks…”

 

They had been on their way home when he finally decided enough was enough. Trying to dissolve her foul mood, he thought another apology would suffice.

 

“Listen, Kagome, I'm really sorry about everything, but don't you think you're taking it a little overboard…?”

 

He was positive that had he still been hanyou, he would have heard her blood pressure skyrocket. Her face almost turned purple. With her age, she had learned to keep the public outbursts to a minimum, so she wouldn't yell at him here. Oh, no. She would wait until she got home and then unleash the fury in which hell hath no.

 

That didn't mean that right now, she had to be walking next to this infuriating, awful, inconsiderate bastard…

 

With what sounded like a strangled cry, Kagome instantly turned towards the street, attempting to cross to the other side, where she wouldn't have to be near the jerk in question. Of course, she did not think to wait for the crosswalk. Or a red light.

 

“Kagome!” Inuyasha shouted as a car zoomed past her. He raced to catch her, his hand outstretched as if he were the one that needed saving and she were a life preserver. When he reached her, there was no time.

 

A delivery truck was racing down the street, the driver looking out his window at a pretty, underage middle schooler who had hiked up her skirt. He turned his gaze back to the street just long enough to see the very pregnant woman in front of him, not looking where she was going. With a stomp, he sent the truck teetering to the left and right, but for him, too, there was no time. He was going to hit her, and he couldn't move to the side because another car was next to him.

 

Because he had done so for years, and since he had done it so many times before with no thought of consequence, Inuyasha did the only thing he could do. Not seeing the car that was hidden next to the truck, he launched himself at his wife, hoping to push her far enough out of the way that she wouldn't be harmed. He only hoped the baby would survive the impact…

 

Kagome had heard his pained cry and looked back, only to see the crazed expression and the outstretched arm. That was when she realized, and she looked up to find a man in a truck - a horrified expression on his face - barreling towards her, brakes screeching and fishtailing wildly.

 

In slow-motion, her world stopped revolving. She knew one thing was certain. Either she or Inuyasha were about to get hurt badly. And in that instant, her heart stopped for a second. In that second, a voice, smooth, dark, and seductive, spoke to her.

 

“The wish was to be one of pure selflessness. If not, there will be consequences…”

 

And then, there was nothing.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

Those that had witnessed the accident were horrified, some to dream about it for the rest of their lives. The few that had bolted into action - calling the police, holding back other witnesses, and one had tried in vain to apply pressure to a wound on Inuyasha's leg that bled fiercely - would feel better about themselves, but the ones that had stood by and watched would regret it for the rest of their existence.

 

When the police had questioned them, they had gotten the same story: the pregnant woman had simply walked into traffic. The man, presumably her husband, tried to save her. But he had failed, and he had been struck. The woman, thrown to the floor, had also been struck, but by a smaller car. Later, a witness that had not seen the accident themselves but had been absentmindedly watching the truck driver had come forward, saying that they saw the driver looking away, and couldn't stop until the last second. But it had been too late for everyone.

 

The young man that had been driving the car was taken into custody to serve time, but since it could not have been avoided and it was not on purpose, he was out in a matter of months, having paid for the crime. The truck driver also had gone to jail, but would be in there longer; the testimony that had he been paying attention this would have been avoided, weighed heavily with the judge. He would spend many years in jail, and his wife would divorce him, especially after finding out the reason he hadn't been paying attention. His roving eye had become a local topic, with talk shows criticizing teenage girls for their clothing and mothers warning about lecherous men. Men cautioned each other about leering at young girls, using Kagome's story - not even using her name, since it had been forgotten, although the tale had become famous - as an example of how it can ruin your life. The young girl who knew it had been her fault turned to Buddhism, haunted forever by the sight of the blood and the still, pregnant, mangled woman that was closest to her. Even the police that had been on call and came to the accident site would call this one of the worst things they had ever seen.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

Groggy from constant drugs and weak from disuse of her muscles, she could do little but groan, and even that hurt her throat. In an instant, there was a flurry of activity.

 

Her mother rushed to her side, joyous tears suddenly rushing down her face. She was yelling to the nurses that her daughter had woken up, and Kagome found it odd that they would know what she was talking about, but they all came running a few moments later. Her mother, still crying, was pushing her matted hair from her face and was practically indecipherable. Several seconds later, her old grandfather had wobbled over to the bedside, obviously slower than the others. He had been praying, she noticed. There was no sign of her brother, but she knew that he couldn't possibly be signed out of school and get here that quickly. In fact, she was puzzled as to how her mother had gotten here in such a short amount of time. And what's more… where was Inuyasha?

 

It took her a moment, but then it came to her mind. With a hiss, she managed to move her neck to look down at herself and was thrown for a loop. She was thin as a rail, the product of a liquid diet. But… where was Sango? Had she only dreamed all of this? That was the only explanation. Her mind whirled as she began to imagine that it had all been a product of her mind: her marriage to Inuyasha, her pregnancy, her family moving away… perhaps it never happened? That would explain why her mother was already here. And why Inuyasha wasn't. And then, out of nowhere, a voice echoed in her mind.

 

It was Magatsuhi, the evil force behind the Sacred Jewel.

 

And with his words, Kagome came crashing down.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

The nurses who had come scrambling in had checked all her tubes and monitors, and some were amazed that after so long, the young woman had opened her eyes. Poor thing, they thought. She can't even speak yet. They had called for a doctor, and he was currently rushing down the hall to see her. But the nurses were untrained and unprepared for the next thing that happened. One of them noticed Kagome looking down at herself, presumably wondering about her baby. Another noticed her heart monitor suddenly skip and jump around, then race ahead. And another noticed her sudden wide eyes that realized what had happened.

 

The shriek that met his ears was incomparable, but the doctor - although hoping that it wouldn't happen on his shift - was prepared for the wakening of Higurashi Kagome. Many things had happened: she lost her husband, she lost her child, and she had suffered much damage. So he had known at once where the pained noise was coming from. He had already called to a nurse to get him the medicines required to calm her, but she couldn't be on drugs forever. Eventually, she would have to be told what happened and she would have to suffer through it without the lull of painkillers to melt it away.

 

Once inside, it pained him to look upon the scene before him. Kagome was flailing about, attempting to remove the IV's and tubes that had been sustaining her. It was almost amazing that whatever pain she should be in only came second to whatever grief she was encountering. The nurses were trying to calm her and one was readying the straps that would hold her limbs in place. Her mother, normally so calm, was frantically trying to reach her daughter with words, but to no avail. Once he was by her side, she turned her liquid blue eyes to him, still fighting with the nurses who were trying to keep her from doing more damage to herself.

 

“What happened?” she cried. She turned to her mother. “Where's Sango? Where's Inuyasha?”

 

Doctor Mizayaki had had a few conversations with the stoic woman and knew she was one that usually kept her cool. She took things in stride. But that façade was gone now, with her daughter's wide, panicked eyes focused on her. A tear escaped, then another. In only a few seconds, the mother was crying, and that told his patient all she needed to know.

 

Shocked momentarily and most likely not comprehending her mother's actions, Kagome was still long enough for the nurses to secure her arms and legs in the Velcro straps. Suddenly, the nurse that he had instructed to fetch the sedative was by his side. She thrust the needle into his hand, and he eyed the young woman. For a few moments, Kagome was practically catatonic. Then, finally, she looked up at him.

 

“How long have I been here?”

 

He looked down at her sadly. “Higurashi-san,” he said in the most low, grief-stricken voice he could muster, “you have been asleep for over three months.”

 

It took a second, but when it clicked, he knew he had no choice but to put the poor girl that had just woken up back to sleep. With her arms now safely restrained, he injected one of her tubes with the drug cocktail he held. And in a few seconds, Kagome's limbs became heavy, her words slurred, and her vision went black.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

Kagome woke once again to the sound of beeping. This time, her head swirled with fogginess. It took almost two minutes for her to remember. There had been a truck, and Inuyasha had pushed her out of the way, as he would have with a demon. But there had been no demon, and he was no longer hanyou. There was no Tessaiga to save them.

 

She still didn't know what happened - she wasn't sure she wanted to know. All she knew for sure was that she hurt like hell, and it was hard to move. She assumed this was because she hadn't moved for… how long had the doctor said? Three months? Again, she looked down at her again-flat stomach. What had happened to Sango? Remembering her mother crying when she had asked about her family, there was little hope. But she needed to know, even if it was bad.

 

She attempted to look around, and realized it was almost dark in the room. Only a single florescent light illuminated the room from above her bed. The movement hurt her neck, and she winced. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the rest of the room, and she found her mother sleeping in a rather uncomfortable-looking chair that extended so that her legs were straight out in front of her. But even though it looked like it was anything but a fitful slumber, Kagome let her rest; she seemed as high-strung as Kagome herself, and that really was unlike her. So Kagome sat in her bed and waited for someone to be able to answer her questions. Eventually, she fell asleep, the drugs still active in her veins. But as she drifted off, tears fell down her face.

 

The next time she woke up, it was light out. Her mother was not there, but a nurse was checking a monitor near her bed. She moved her head to see if it still hurt. It did, but not as badly. Well, that was dandy. That only meant she had much to look forward to as she moved more parts of her body. More days of pain, as if she needed more.

 

The nurse noticed she was awake. With concerned eyes, she leaned in close. “Are you all right, dear? Can I get you anything?”

 

The way she said it made it clear to Kagome that what she was really asking was `Are you still crazy? Should I call for a doctor to sedate you again?' Kagome shook her head, answering both the spoken and unspoken question.

 

When she was alone once more, Kagome forced herself to think about the situation. It felt like just a few hours ago - Inuyasha was with her, and she was having a baby. Had she really been here for so long? One glance towards her midsection confirmed it.

 

Cautiously, she forced her sore arm towards the blanket, pulling it down. Now she could see just how flat her stomach was. Her muscles were thankfully not as sore as she had imagined, so she pulled up her gown, amazed at all the tubes that were protruding from her body. She wanted to turn away, but forced herself to keep going.

 

Just below her pelvis, there was an angry, pink scar. It was long, and had healed over, but was a reminder that she would never be rid of. They had cut her open. Either to save the baby inside her, or to remove a dead child. Somehow, she couldn't find the energy to cry.

 

Suddenly, the door swung open on silent hinges. Her mother, carrying a cup of coffee, ran to her side.

 

“Oh, Kagome! Finally! They kept telling me that you were awake, but I never got to…” After a moment, she had noticed that Kagome was indeed half-naked. She had been looking at the emergency cesarean. With a sigh, she sat on her daughter's bed, careful not to disturb any of the tubes that were still nourishing the body they were attached to. There was a long silence, and she searched Kagome's face.

 

Kagome found it hard to look at her mother, so her eyes wandered everywhere. As long as they didn't touch upon the warm chocolate color, she would be fine. In the meantime, she had to know.

 

“Inuyasha?” she whispered.

 

Her mother looked away finally, unsure of what she should say. “Dear, are you sure…?”

 

Kagome found the strength to pin her mother with a glare. “Inuyasha?” she asked again, her voice more stern.

 

Chewing on her bottom lip, the elder Higurashi thought about the consequences of telling the entire story. But it was better to get it over with. Otherwise, Kagome would blame her later when she found out the truth. She nodded in defeat and began.

 

“The witnesses say that he pushed you away from the truck. But… there was another car that he couldn't see. And likewise, the driver couldn't see either of you until you were in front of him. His car was small, and he hadn't been going very fast, but he still hit you. It was hard enough that Sango…” She drifted off, her own eyes misting. “Kagome,” she said in a tone that made the younger woman shiver. “Honey, they had to remove everything.”

 

Kagome nodded, knowing that they would have to remove the child inside for risk of infection. But her mother repeated the words more slowly, and she understood. Oh. Everything. That meant…

 

The sudden look on her daughter's face told her she understood, and she clarified. “You can't ever have children. There's no uterus…”

 

Well, that suited her just fine. She had nothing. No Inuyasha, no baby, no one to love, no one to share her life with… Did it matter that she couldn't have any more children? No. It was the least tragic thing to occur. So she asked again. “Inuyasha?”

 

Her mother seemed to snap out of her stupor, obviously thinking of her own loss - she would never have grandchildren from Kagome. “Inuyasha… He took a lot of damage. The truck had been too big, going too fast. The driver hadn't been paying attention… By the time they got him to the hospital…” She didn't have to finish for Kagome to get the idea. “But, Kagome, I want you to realize…” She took her daughter's now-pale, fragile, tube-ridden hand. “He had no idea. He thought he was saving you both. His last act was to sacrifice himself for his family.”

 

The words cut through Kagome's mind like a dagger through muscle. The pain was so harsh, so unforgiving, so detrimental, that she couldn't breathe. The monitors she was attached to started to sound off.

 

“Oh, I knew I should've waited…”

 

Kagome was too far gone to notice anything else. Nurses rushed in to check her vitals, and they spoke to her, but she didn't hear them. Eventually, a doctor rushed in and administered a shot of something that numbed her. Her mind, thankfully, grew foggy once again, and she soon drifted off to sleep.

 

This time, when Kagome became conscious, it was her brother by her side.

 

“Oh, Souta, you didn't need to come all the way here…”

 

“Uh, sis… I just finished my first year.”

 

She still had to deal with this whole waking-up-three-months-later thing. It bugged her that she missed a quarter of the year, lying in bed. Even if it was for a good reason. “Right,” was all she managed, looking sheepish.

 

“Oh, honey, I'm so sorry,” her mother cooed.

 

Oh yeah, that's right. “It's okay, momma. I asked for it, right?”

 

Kagome watched her mother purse her lips.

 

Souta could see the tension building. He decided to intervene. “Kagome?” he said, catching their attention. “Do you still want me to stay with you for the summer?”

 

“Oh, that would be a huge help, Souta. Are you sure you'll want to?”

 

“Sure! Plus, you'll need some help at the shrine. I brought all my stuff with me anyways,” he told her with a grin.

 

This was what she needed. Her little brother's unending enthusiasm and smiling face. She understood why her mother was so somber, but it was making her feel worse.

 

“Well, would you like me and grandpa to-”

 

“No!” Kagome said a little too quickly. She saw Souta fight back a snicker. “I mean, grandpa shouldn't be doing all this moving around. And this is the best time of year in Shimane. You should go back. I'll be fine with just Souta - I promise.”

 

Mrs. Higurashi seemed to debate it but finally relented. “Well, okay, if that's what you want,” she told the siblings. “I think they're going to let you go soon anyways. Your leg healed last month and your ribs should just about be okay, although the doctor has to call it, not me.”

 

Kagome looked dumbfounded. “My… wha?”

 

“Oh, right. Kagome, dear, in the accident, you broke a few ribs as well as both arms and a leg. Your arms healed quickly, and your leg, too, but your ribs have been stubborn, despite the fact that you haven't moved until now. That will probably be your next checkup.”

 

“You have a really neat scar below your knee from where the bone was sticking out,” Souta said enthusiastically, not realizing the sickly shade of green his sister was turning.

 

“Souta!” his mother chided, batting him on his shoulder.

 

He finally noticed Kagome's expression and felt bad instantly. “Right - sorry about that. I mean, it's cool to me, but I guess you wouldn't like it…”

 

Kagome barely heard the conversation her brother and mother had after that. Now she had a huge scar where they had taken many precious things from her, and another that would show the world that she had been through something traumatic every time she wore a dress or skirt.

 

A few seconds later, her grandfather came in from the lounge where he spent most of his time watching TV and relaxing in the more comfortable chairs. Soon, they all began chatting, trying to include Kagome to keep her mind off things. But it was always there; the reminder of what she had lost in the blink of an eye.

 

How naïve. She already knew how suddenly you could lose everything that was precious to you.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

It took a few days, but eventually the doctors let her leave. They were reluctant; not because of her ribs - which had healed perfectly - but because of what she had been through. Kagome knew that behind closed doors, they were talking about how suicidal she may be. So she tried to convince them otherwise, smiling when she could and getting up often to walk around the hospital and in the garden they kept for patients to visit. Of course, she was always supervised.

 

Legally, they couldn't keep her once she was sound, so they released her with anti-depressants and a hotline number. Kagome thought it was ridiculous. She wasn't going to off herself! If she was capable of such a thing, she would have done it two years ago, when… Well, anyways, she wasn't going to kill herself.

 

She hadn't expected how hard it was going to be. One look at the shrine steps, and she remembered all the times Inuyasha had patiently helped her up the towering staircase. And then she remembered why he had to help her. And she began to cry.

 

Souta, feeling helpless, could only watch as his sister wailed it the base of the stairs. He tried to console her once, but she swatted him away. Instead, he took their bags up and into the house. After twenty minutes, Kagome dragged herself up the stairs, her hardly-used muscles making her tired. She panted as she walking into the kitchen, out of breath. But then she remembered her `wedding night' and began to weep all over again. Souta began to question his decision.

 

Kagome went upstairs and headed straight for her bed. Souta had planned to stay on the couch, but when he went upstairs to check on his sister a few hours later, he could still hear her crying in her room. He thought about knocking; he should check to see if she wanted to talk or if she needed anything - food, water, a good sleeping pill - but she sounded so helpless that he couldn't bear to disturb her. So he let her be, knowing she was more than capable of fending for herself. After all, this was Kagome, his sister who had survived a whole year chasing after the worst threat to Japan that ever was. Then she survived heartache at the hands of Inuyasha's brother. And now she had lost Inuyasha himself. He would be lying if he said he wasn't hurting as well - Inuyasha was a great friend, and the best brother-in-law anyone could ask for. And he had lost a niece, too. But it was worse for his mother, and neither of them could fathom how Kagome felt. True, their father had died when they were young and their mother had mourned deeply, but Kagome had lost a husband and a baby that she hadn't even known. Their mother wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing a child. And so they would allow Kagome to grieve however she wanted.

 

The next morning, Souta checked on Kagome first thing. He was slightly pleased to hear that she was in the shower - hopefully not drowning herself - and knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

 

“Yeah?” she gurgled.

 

“Just wanted to know if you want anything for breakfast. I was gonna make some omelets…”

 

There was a moment of silence before the water cut off. Then, a few seconds later, Kagome appeared through a crack in the door. With a meek smile, she poked her head out.

 

“That would be awesome, Souta,” she told him before closing the door once again.

 

After dressing, Kagome went downstairs, the smell of real food pulling her towards the bright, sunny kitchen. She smiled, watching Souta folding the eggs as he'd seen their mother do, a look of intense concentration on his face. She let her presence be known as she moved next to him and took the spatula. He oddly seemed both relieved and worried at the same time. Kagome almost laughed. What did he think she was going to do? Slap herself to death with it?

 

Even though her brother had thrown it together, Kagome felt much better after eating substantial food. She couldn't imagine missing eating, since she had no idea she was unconscious. But it seemed that her body knew, and it was grateful for her favorite morning food - eggs. Now came the hard part.

 

Everything reminded her of Inuyasha, Sango, or both. Luckily, the shrine was still closed - her mother had placed a notice downstairs when the accident had first happened, she was told. But it seemed that the only thing that didn't break her heart was her duties as priestess. The house… it was full of memories. But Kagome wasn't sure if her body was physically ready for shrine work, so she let it go for now.

 

Eventually, she took the dishes to wash, to Souta's protest - what was it this time? She was going to drown in the sink? - and found it mostly painless. It was only her own brain - her stupid, thinking brain - that kept thinking about them. So the day wore on: she tidied up her room, watched some TV with her brother, made lunch… It was mostly dull. And worst of all, nothing took away the pain for more than a few seconds. She briefly wondered if she should take those anti-depressants.

 

Dinner rolled around, and Kagome found that even though she still thought of them, it was mostly Sango that remained in her mind. As she made rice, she remembered how the little girl would kick at the scent of it, and Kagome found herself alone in the kitchen, clutching at a flat stomach. At the same time, she was grateful that she had something to do. If Souta wasn't here, she probably wouldn't cook, and she would spend the entire day in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. Souta's presence made it a little easier.

 

The days wore on, and Kagome didn't stop thinking about the things that had changed her life so dramatically. But it became easier to think about them. Happy times with Inuyasha turned out to be easiest to think of. One day, approximately two weeks later, she realized something: Souta had come here not just for her, but also to be with his girlfriend. And he hadn't left the house except to buy groceries. She didn't even remember him being on the phone. It was sweet, in a way, how self-sacrificing he was; similar to their mother. But it was unacceptable.

 

“Souta,” she said, approaching the topic during dinner that night, “why don't you go see your girlfriend? She's one of the reasons you had wanted to stay with us - er, me.”

 

Souta's head snapped up to see her expression, but she seemed fine. “Are you sure?” In truth, he was dying to spend some quality time with Suki, but he had a cell phone now, and he spoke with her often; Kagome was usually upstairs at night, and since he was sleeping on the couch, he had privacy. Sometimes, he even met up with her at the market, and they would speak and hold hands, then part ways again.

 

“Yeah. I mean, you gotta be so bored…” Kagome said, rolling her eyes for effect.

 

“I'm not bored, Kagome. I have plenty to do around here. But you're right, I'd like to see Suki. Are you sure it's okay?” he said, his voice laced with concern.

 

Kagome stared at her brother with sad, deep blue eyes. He began to worry, but then she reached across the table and ruffled his hair, her expression unchanging. “Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, Souta. You're growing up so fast. Time flew by…”

 

Understanding now what she meant, he swatted her hand away. “Yeah, but I'll always be your little brother.”

 

This seemed to cheer her up, and she smiled. He couldn't help smiling back. “Hey, Souta,” she asked suddenly.

 

He just stared, waiting for her to continue.

 

“Why are you sleeping on the sofa? Why don't you sleep in your own room?” She seemed genuinely perplexed, but his heart immediately stopped, then restarted.

 

A cold sweat broke out on his face, and his mind raced for an answer. Damn it! He should've known! Their whole family knew - through their mother - about the secret baby room. Had she not seen it yet? Why didn't anyone remind him?! He could've changed it back in all this time! His stomach swirled as he thought about Kagome's reaction if she saw the room now. She seemed good; seeing it could destroy her.

 

“Uh… Kagome… I, uh…”

 

“Oh!” she said suddenly, her voice pitched in surprise and a grin on her face.

 

It was so sudden that Souta was shocked quiet.

 

“Wow! They're back!” she exclaimed with triumph. Then she turned to her brother. “Souta, what's wrong. You feel so sick… did the tuna not agree with you?”

 

This threw him for a loop, and he forgot about the room. “What? How could you possibly know…”

 

Kagome grinned. “Well, I haven't had them for a while, but I guess now that I'm not pregnant anymore…” She trailed off, but shook it off, determined not to let anything spoil her mood.

 

It took a while, but she explained to her brother how she could “feel” the maladies of others by being in close quarters with them. She hadn't felt it in a long time, and although `nauseous' wasn't at the top of her list, at least it told her that she was returning to normal. She was practically glowing with pride.

 

Souta had been stunned - had his sister really gotten that powerful? And why didn't he have any powers? Well, if she had felt his stomach turn, he wasn't sure he wanted those powers. And speaking of turned stomachs…

 

“Kagome,” he said in such a dark and serious tone that her face instantly turned into her `fighting' expression - eyebrows drawn, eyes intent, lips smashed together. He almost laughed, knowing that years of chasing dangerous demons must have created this side of his sister. “Kagome, don't go in my room, okay?”

 

She seemed offended - what's so big about it? At worst, he could have some girlie magazines, right? And even though it wasn't a pleasant thought, it was bearable. Anyways, she wanted to do something special for him. Tomorrow, she would clean out his room and make it livable. God only knows how much dust there must be in there. And he probably was too lazy to clean it, which was probably the reason he still slept on the couch. He couldn't spend two more months sleeping on the sofa when he had a perfectly good bed upstairs!

 

“Kagome,” he said, his voice interspersed with something that almost sounded threatening. “Promise me you won't go in my room.”

 

She didn't understand why he was being so private about it, but if it eased his mind… Anyways, he'd be grateful once he had a soft bed to sleep on. “Sure, no problem,” she said with a smile.

 

The next day, Souta went out to see Suki, and said he'd bring back groceries on his way home. Kagome waved goodbye, telling him that she had things to do. If he had known her better, he would've seen through this; known she was up to something. But even though there weren't too many years between them, they had never gotten so close as to be able to predict one another. Inuyasha would have seen through her. Sesshoumaru would have handcuffed her to the sofa.

 

~~~~~%~~@

 

Four hours later, Souta returned for dinner, as promised. He had bags of food in his hands, and he was whistling, happy for the first time in weeks. But in the fading light, he could tell that the lights were not on in the house. Suspicious, he ran the rest of the way up the steps. When he raced into the kitchen door, he dropped the groceries on the floor. Kagome wasn't cooking, as he'd expected at this time of day. And he knew for certain now that there wasn't a single light on. Then, he heard it.

 

A keening wail came from up the stairs. Souta's stomach dropped so low, it might as well have left his body. Racing up the stairs, he knew where to stop. And it was there he found her.

 

His old bedroom door ajar, he found Kagome slightly inside, on the floor, curled in a ball. She had vomited nearby, and it made his stomach twist into knots. But the worst part was the crying. It looked like she had been crying for hours. And she had torn at her clothes - the tee shirt she had been wearing no longer had a midsection. She had been clawing at her stomach.

 

With no other choice, Souta lifted his sister and carried her to her bathroom. The thought of undressing her overrode his emotions, and he put her in the tub, fully dressed. He turned on the hot water, and left to assess the damage. After he had cleaned up the vomit, he returned to find her unmoved, but still crying. He shut off the water and closed her door.

 

That night, Souta spent hours dismantling the room and removing all evidence of Sango.

 

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End Notes: I hope you don't want to kill me by now, but this was the plan from the beginning. Inuyasha had to die. Fear not: it wasn't in vain. He died protecting Kagome, and that's the way he would have wanted it. I warned you this story was a drama, and wherever I can (Mediaminer, Paperdemon) I have labeled the story as a “tragedy”. Not every site has this category, so it's not heavily known. And no - I don't `hate' Inuyasha. Also: please forgive my absolute ignorance in the knowledge of Japanese babies/the hospital system. I have no idea what kinds of things they use (or the doctors they see) there, so if you know for a fact that they don't have baby bags or cribs or whatever, I'm sorry - I just was too lazy to look it up. The other thing is my lack of knowledge of the Japanese judicial system. For all I know, they could be doing public beheadings or perhaps their rules are stricter. I have no idea. But again, I was too lazy to look it up, so I modeled it after our own criminal punishment system. Sorry if I'm wrong. And before you ask - NO, Kagome can only feel genuine sickness in people, not things like emotions. Sorry for the big cliffie! I'll make it up to you all when I come back!