InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Bliss of Nights Forgotten ❯ I'm Not Ready... ( Chapter 5 )

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Last time: "Fine, leave. Do not expect me to come to your rescue like that pathetic excuse for a hanyou. I won't come, if you die, it will be because of your own foolishness."

Having expected that answer to begin with, Kagome did nothing but turn on her heel and walk out of the room. `Finally, I'll have three days to myself. I can't stand being confined in these walls anymore.'

Chapter 5: I'm Not Ready. . .

~*~

The firewood crackled, the only sound in the small clearing. Miroku and Sango sat together near the base of a tree, whispering to each other.

"I'm worried about Inuyasha, he isn't being his usual self. . . Well, neither is Shippou. . . In fact, I can't help but be worried for all of us. Everyday seems to feel more and more. . . wrong. Like we shouldn't be here, as if we are doing the wrong thing."

Sango nodded in agreement, "I know what you mean. At first I thought it was just because we were all worried about Kagome. But now I know that is not it. Everyone is on edge, including myself. Inuyasha seems to be more short tempered then usual and Shippou still has not spoken to any of us since we started this journey. He dreams. . . about Kagome, I hear him at night. He calls out to her." As if on cue, the young kitsune stirred from where he slept, across the clearing from the rest of the group.

". . .Kagome. . ." he said, the sound was that of someone in pain. There was no doubt that out of all of them, Shippou was affected the most by Kagome's absence. He turned over on his side and seemed to calm down as the two humans continued to whisper their worries to one another.

Only the white haired hanyou sitting in one of the treetops heard what else the kitsune said as he slept. This time the tone was that of a question being asked, and though the sound was muffled there was no mistaking what was said. Inuyasha had distinctly heard Shippou say his brother's name. Sesshoumaru.

~*~

"Where's Kagome?"

"Rin, I've told you already. She's out in the forest." Sesshoumaru looked at the young girl, warning her to be silent. She didn't even glance at him to receive the warning.

Instead she continued asking the same questions she had asked all day. "Why?"

"To rest and cleanse her mind so that she may regenerate my arm."

"What does that mean?" she said in a bored tone.

"It means that because of her serious injuries and that cursed jewel she holds, her powers were drained and she needs to cleanse her mind in order for her to regain her powers. After she has regained her powers she will heal my arm."

"What's wrong with your arm."

"That is no concern of yours." He was beginning to lose his temper she didn't seem to care.

"Isn't it dangerous to go into the forest by your self?"

"Yes"

"Sesshoumaru-sama always tells Rin not to. Rin is not supposed to go without Sesshoumaru-sama. Kagome is all alone and that grumpy man that looks like Sesshoumaru-sama is not here to help Kagome."

The youkai lord closed his eyes in an attempt to block out the mindless chatter and to calm himself after having his idiot hanyou brother compared to him. The miko had only been gone for one day and already Rin was driving him to the brink of insanity. What would happen when she left for good after her training with Rin was complete? He shuddered at the very thought.

"JAKEN!" he heard the smaller youkai's nervous approach behind him. "put Rin to bed." He ordered, standing up and heading towards the hot springs.

~*~

Kagome sat in one of the natural hot springs in the forest surrounding Sesshoumaru's castle. Her eyes were lightly closed as she let the warmth seep into her body, willing it to warm the coldness she had been feeling in her heart these last few weeks.

`I love hot springs. It's only been one day and I already feel better.' She sighed, the sound filling the empty air around her. `I wonder how Sango and everyone else is.'

She couldn't help it, every time she was in a hot spring or even thought about one, she was reminded of all the time her and Sango had spent talking to each other. She had felt a special sisterly bond with the demon exterminator. But thinking of Sango led to her thoughts of Shippou, Miroku and, of course, Inuyasha.

`Damn you Inuyasha! Who are you to decide whether or not I should die? Now I'm left here by myself with the jewel. What am I supposed to do with it? It brought nothing but misfortune to those who touched it. Why didn't you take it? Turn yourself into a full demon like you wanted at least then I wouldn't be responsible for it. But instead you threw me into debt again. You were too much of a coward. You blamed my death on yourself and couldn't live with the guilt. So now here I am again, having to repay yet another person who will throw me back once my usefulness is done. I wish I were some insignificant nobody who had no use and then I'd be left to myself.'

She frowned up at the night sky, her emotions hidden even from herself. `I'm done with feelings. I don't want them anymore, I'd much rather be alone and feared like Sesshoumaru. . .' shaking her head, she looked down into the steaming water.

`Now why am I thinking of him? As much as he despises Inuyasha he sure does act like him sometimes. Both insensitive and greedy, both wanting things only for themselves. Even worse, Sesshoumaru is never kind. . . Him and his "I won't come, if you die it will be because of your own foolishness" Like I'd expect him to save me. I know better then that, he cares for no one but himself. . . Well, himself and Rin. But that's something I don't want to think about right now. I'm supposed to be here to purify myself, not think about those two-` her thoughts were cut off as she felt a dark presence coming towards her.

~Sesshoumaru~

The demon lord paced his room, Rin's words going through his mind.

`Isn't it dangerous to go into the forest by yourself?' I told her, it isn't as if I sent her without a warning. She knew of the dangers. `Kagome is all alone. . .' She had wanted to be alone, wasn't that right? I offered her a guard and she had insisted on going alone. She didn't want to be distracted. There was no helping it, nothing I can do for her now.

No use worrying, she'll either be fine or die. It isn't for me to decide. Why be bothered by something that isn't any fault of mine? Their shouldn't be any demons in the forest anyways, I patrol the lands around the castle weekly. . . But not the last two weeks. . . I was busy supervising Rin's lessons.

You mean you were busy watching the young woman.

Ugh. Not you again.

Yes, me again. I-

Be silent, I was not watching her. I wanted to make sure she was teaching Rin appropriate things. I don't want Rin to be willful and strange like her.

Hah, a bit late for that. Already Rin defies you, you wouldn't harm her. That's why she wouldn't keep silent tonight.

But that's not the point.

Right, what I was really getting at is: the miko is in danger.

I haven't checked the forest in two weeks.

It's likely other youkai have noticed this lapse in your duties. . .

And they will take advantage of it. . . they'll. . . hunt. . . in the forest. . .

Where she is now, by herself.

Without any further thoughts, he hurried out towards the forest. For once thinking his youkai speed was not nearly fast enough.

~*~

Her miko robes billowed around her as the demon let out a fearsome roar in front of her. With nothing but her bow and arrows she stood there. Defiance shone in her eyes. She felt her miko powers and knew that she was only half rejuvenated; meaning her purifying arrows would not be enough to defeat this youkai. She smirked, though her heartbeat was frantic within her chest and she felt a sick knot of fear in her stomach.

`So, death comes to reclaim me.' She thought, as the beast lunged for her. Anticipating that move, she was able to dodge the attack, but not completely. The creature's claws made a gash on her left shoulder. It wasn't really deep but it was painful and prevented her from using her arm. She wouldn't be shooting any arrows this night.

The youkai was huge; it's head reaching the tops of the trees. Its fangs glinted in the moonlight. Its fur was the color of gold and its eyes were ice blue. The creature was both beautiful and deadly. It's eyes focused on her, watching her movements.

The fear moved from her stomach to her heart. It consumed her as the realization dawned on her. There was no one here to save her. Inuyasha was somewhere far away, Sango and Miroku with him and Sesshoumaru had warned her. `Do not expect me to come to your rescue. . .' she remembered the words `I guess death doesn't let anyone get away, not even the protector of the shikon no tama!' and a hysterical laugh filled the air as she realized that this was her end.

Her laugh turned into a sob, as the demon reached its claws towards her. Ready to rip her flesh apart and devour it or perhaps it would just kill her and take the shikon jewel, which still hung around her neck. It offered its protector no comfort or help. She felt the warmth of tears sliding down her cheeks as the claws flew towards her. Her eyes closed awaiting the blow as she whispered, "I don't want to die. . . I don't want to die. . ."

She was quite literally swept off her feet by Sesshoumaru, who cursed as he landed a few feet behind the demon. Pushing her aside, he lunged at the wild youkai's back. Kagome yelped in surprise as the demon lord and his poisonous claws brought a quick end to her assailant. It was over.

She stood there, shivering in the night air as tears continued to flow. Hearing her sobs, Sesshoumaru turned to her, watching her tremble. She felt weak, and started to fall but he was there, catching her before she hit the ground. Not knowing what to do, he held her, his arm awkwardly around her waist.

All she could do was grasp onto him and cry, burying her face in his chest mumbling. "I didn't know. . . I'm not ready to die yet. . . I didn't know. . ." she wasn't making any sense, but he let her cling to him. Feeling a sense of purpose for once. Looking back at the gruesome scene he had created he decided to take her away from this place, not wanting her to become further upset by the dead youkai's body.

~*~

There was a small grove in the heart of the forest that he had always found soothing. It was surrounded by cherry blossom trees and was possibly one of the most beautiful places he had ever seen. His mother had brought him to there long ago when he was a child. This is where he chose to bring the distraught miko.

As they entered the silent grove he noticed she had stopped crying and her heartbeat was steady, not the erratic beating of someone in distress. She still clung to him, her cheek resting on his shoulder. The silky length of her hair caressed his arm as it danced in the breeze. Feeling very much uncomfortable, he started to release his hold on her, but she just tightened her arms around him and made a whimpering sound.

His heartbeat wasn't nearly as calm as hers. Adrenaline ran through his veins, left over from the recently finished battle. This along with the close proximity of her body and the way she clung to him created a strange feeling in him. His mind was reeling and he couldn't control his thoughts or actions. He rested his chin on the top of her head, hugging her closer to him.

"I was afraid, " she said suddenly, "I thought I didn't care about life anymore. I wanted to die, because. . . because no one seems to care about me for myself. I'm useful."

He barely heard her, instead he was more intrigued by the smell of her hair which reminded him of roses.

"Then, when I realized that I was going to die. . . the youkai would kill me, I knew. When that thought hit me I finally realized that I didn't want to die, I have so much more to do in my lifetime. I can't die, not yet!"

He was nuzzling her neck when she slightly pulled away from him, looking at him curiously. The moonlight was reflected in her eyes and her hair fell in beautiful ebony waves around her innocent face. But her quivering lips were what really gained his attention. Cupping her chin in his hand he drew her closer, lowering his mouth to hers.

The kiss was intense and passionate, filled with possession and need. He was filled with a need to possess her and she needed the contact to reassure herself that she really was alive. A sweet sound filled the air, but went unnoticed by the two inhabitants of the grove.

It was a soft tune along the breeze, ruffling the sakura blossoms and filling the air with energy. Between them, Kagome could feel the shikon no tama becoming warm as it pulsated with an iridescent light. The light grew and surrounded them, though this went unnoticed by the usually attentive youkai. Kagome opened her eyes and saw the unnatural light around them, she heard the sound of the breeze and it sang to her, telling her to heal him. The dome of light that surrounded them swelled, and she slid her hands inside the opening of his kimono, touching the shoulder of his damaged arm. She watched on as the dome of light collapsed on them, all the energy entering her and being transferred to him. The intensity of the light was too much and she closed her eyes.

He wasn't aware of anything except the feeling of her lips against his, and how her body was pressed close against his. His eyes remained closed until he felt the warmth in his shoulder, which grew to a slightly painful burning. But he didn't want to stop kissing her; he never wanted to let her go ever again. She was his now. But even as this irrational thought filled his head she was pulling away from him.

She was staring at him, or more precisely, at his new arm. Both of them looked at the new limb, and then at each other. Her eyes were glowing now, filled with gentle power. She felt dizzy and wild; filled with the power the shikon no tama had given her to heal Sesshoumaru. They continued to gaze into each other's eyes, neither knowing what to say or do.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~