InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Botanist and the Beast ❯ Chapter 8: Lean on Me ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. The song “Beautiful Disaster” belong to Kelly Clarkson, or whoever owns her “The Wizard of Oz” belongs to the Estate of L. Frank Baum and “The Return to OZ” belongs to Disney. All of them are used here without permission… I sold the Dodge to a junk yard for $100 which I spent on groceries… I'm almost certain no one wants the resulting materials.

 

The Botanist and the Beast

Chapter 8: Lean on Me

Dear Alice,

Your letter is impossible to read! I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and I don't believe you do either!

-Eaglet

 

I was roughly shaken awake several hours before dawn, to find Sesshomaru kneeling at my side. His appearance was again immaculate. Even his cloths showed no signs of damage. I want to say that it was the heightened state of jeopardy our situation demanded that sent my heart racing and my adrenalin pumping through my veins and not the physical nearness of him. I want to say that, but then who lies to their own journal… Instead my first groggy thoughts were, Wow, if he smiled at me right now I'd probably melt. Where did he hide a change of cloths and how obsessive compulsive do you have to be to carry the same outfit with you?

 

Gratefully I had more sense than to actually say any of that realizing he wouldn't have come that close to me, or touched me, without a reason. Instead I stood as he drew himself up and I put on my pack asking, “What is it?” I kept my voice a calm whisper knowing that he would here it.

 

“If you wish to spare those monks their lives, we must leave now, they are no more than an hour's distance from this place.”

 

“An hour isn't much time…” I trailed off thoughtfully eyeing the camp for a second, How to buy more time? He came from the South… A plan forming I asked, “Which way are we going?” as he gestured north vaguely, I threw myself into motion grabbing my pan full of water and dumping it around the still warm coals and then quickly kicking sand on top of the whole mess.

 

“Baka, ningen, if you wished to cool the fire you should have placed the water on the coals, the sand will only keep it warm.” I rolled my eyes at the dense yokai and strapped my pan to my pack.

 

“That's sort of the point,” I muttered. Moving quickly I went to the eastern edge of the camp and randomly began breaking branches and hastily kicking the leaves and dirt around. Rushing forward I broke and scuffled a path all the way to the small brook. There I filled my water bottle and quickly made my way back to my waiting companion. The whole process of laying a false trail wasted fifteen precious minuets, but I felt safer as I silently followed Sesshomaru northward.

 

The sun was brushing the hills before he spoke again, “Your ruse was very obvious, but they seemed to have turned westward.”

 

“People believe that if they are lead astray the true path most likely lies in the opposite direction, some believe they are clever and look in four, but most forget that when you chose one path there are thirty-three other possibilities.” He stopped moving to look at me condescendingly.

 

“Thirty-one.” He corrected and I smiled that he had fallen into the obvious hole of the map's compass rose conundrum.

 

“No, you're forgetting that the world is three dimensional, and you can always go up, or down.” I smiled impishly as I pushed past him. He was quick to regain the lead but I heard him emit a small sound that could have been mistaken as a chuckle, from anyone but him.

 

Another hour's march found the wounds in my shoulder and leg throbbing and my energy waning, but I gritted my teeth and kept on, determined not to be the one to call a halt to our trek. We were skirting the edge of a cliff on a downward trail from an unknown mountain when Sesshomaru's sturdy step wavered. Though he had been marching at a steady clip and shown no sign of weakness to that point, my hypersensitive instincts kicked in. Thoughtlessly, I dropped my pack and rushed forward. He began to tumble and though I couldn't stop him I managed to change the direction of his fall as I roughly dragged him back from the edge of the precipice. He landed heavily on top of me instead and I felt the wounds in my leg and shoulder rip open from the force.

 

His left elbow was digging into my stomach and his head was resting uncomfortably on my collarbone. I put all the pain I was feeling into my voice as I snarled into his ear. “Ok, new rule: if you become tired, stop before you fall over, dumb ass.” I pushed him away from me roughly as I struggled to stand and he managed to weakly roll into my efforts. Free, and on my feet once more, I scrutinize the exhausted yokai. “We are a little exposed here, but if you need to rest I suppose I can set up a small camp.” He pushed himself into a sitting position and gave me a look that spoke of bloody visions of my torture dancing in his head. I grabbed my backpack and busied myself by rummaging around for more bandages.

 

“We have no time for that, the scent of your blood only makes it more urgent we keep moving. There is shelter another mile from here; we must reach it before nightfall.” He remarked weakly as he struggled shakily to his feet.

 

I stopped rummaging and looked at him suspiciously. “Why?”

 

“There are predators nearby that will prove difficult to combat in my current state. I will endure, but we must continue moving.” Yay, your exhausted and we are being followed by something you can't handle, but lets just keep that little tidbit to ourselves shall me? Let's not frighten the ningen needlessly! Asshole!

 

“Fine then.” I replied as I positioned my backpack on my shoulders and not waiting for him to find the energy to walk independently I slipped myself under his arm and struggled to move the over six feet of dead weight forward.

 

“Unhand me, ningen, I do not need your assistance.” He growled.

 

“Sure thing!” I grunted as I released his arm and watched him drunkenly weave earthward again. I hastily threw my arm around his waste and propped my shoulder under him. “Now that we're done being a big man, can we get going? You aren't exactly light and have an additional ten pounds of backpack to contend with isn't going to make this easier. The least you can do is start using your feet and save all the energy you are wasting on being a jerk for forward motion.”

 

“Ningen, I should kill you where you stand.” He huffed as we started walking.

 

“Yeah, yeah plan whatever you will for later; move now.” I snarled as we made a turtle's progress towards the promise of shelter. To this day I don't know how we managed to make it to that far off destination. A mile as a yokai's crutch, wounded, and carrying a pack is far beyond even a marine's idea of impossible masochism. The one brief rest I allowed, I used to drink some water and relieve myself.

 

When I returned Sesshomaru was out cold and I had to kick him several times to get him to wake up. When he finally opened his eyes they glowed red with rage and I was forced to scramble out of his reach in fear for my life. I uneasily watched him for several minuets as the dangerous light began to fade and reason returned, but at the same time his eyelids began to droop once more and I was hard pressed to find a way to keep him awake without touching him. Think, think, think, what can you reasonably threaten him with? Even with him in this state he could easily kill me…

 

Using my most serious tone I said, “Sesshomaru listen to me carefully, I swear that if you fall asleep I will find the most foul smelling mud this area has to offer and cover you in it. I maybe even go looking for some animal feces and fish guts to make that amazing hair of your especially fragrant, and then I'll leave you here.”

 

A malevolent growl emanated from the back of his throat, but his eyes were lucid as he replied, “You would not dare.”

 

“Do I really strike you as the bluffing sort? Mark me, the instant you're defenseless, I will do it with a smile on my lips and song in my heart.” My voice was a contemptuous challenge. The ruse paid off as he struggled to stand and I waited a moment to see if he could manage the maneuver on his own. He gained his feet, but unsteadily. Wordlessly I moved to his side and wrapping my arm once more around his waist. I felt his arm come around to rest on my shoulders and the now familiar weight settled upon them as we began to move.

 

It was nearing nightfall by the time we reached the shelter of the cave and I was too exhausted to leave it again in search of food, let alone go through the trouble of making a fire. With what remained of my strength I lowered my burden gently to the cave floor and collapsed into a graceless heap at his side. The straps of the backpack still weighing against my rubbery arms, I slept.

 

I woke groggily the next morning curled into his side and snuggling his boa for warmth. I had somehow removed the pack in my sleep, but my arms were incredibly sore and blood from my unattended wounds plastered my tank top and shorts to me. Lazily I let my eyes roam up from where my head rested in the crook of his arm to his face and I was started to see his eyes open and watching me. I let my grip on his boa relax slowly and gingerly pushed myself away from his blushing. Oh great! Rin be damned, now he really is gonna kill me.

 

“Um sorry, I must have passed out.” I muttered slowly as my heart slammed against my rib cage violently and my hand shook with my anxiety. He didn't reply and so I decided to pretend that I hadn't woken up clutching him like a giant killer teddy bear and asked, “Is it safe for me to go out there?” I nodded to the sunny cave mouth.

 

“You will be relatively safe in the daylight. The creatures you must fear are nocturnal and have consumed most of the predators in this region as they slept a long time ago.” His voice was much stronger than it had been the day before and I resisted my mother hen instinct to ask him if he would be all right on his own. Instead I nodded and gingerly opened my backpack. Pulling out the kimono he had given me, and my medicine bag, I made my way to the exit, “There is a potable spring to the southeast, and a short distance to the northeast of here, you will find a small onsen.”

 

The advice was unexpected, completely out of character. It startled me into asking him, “Are you feeling well?” the worry was evident in my voice, but he sighed wearily in response and shut his eyes without replying. “Fine, I'll be off then…” I hesitated before breathing an almost inaudible, “thank you,” as I advanced into the glaring sunlight, still worrying about his aberrant behavior.

 

The cave entrance was concealed by a thatch of Autumn-olive bushes which blocked most of the wind blowing up from the distance canyon floor, but as I stepped past them the chilly early morning breeze reminded me how inadequately dressed I really was. I quickly followed Sesshomaru's directions to the hot spring and discovered it to be only a few feet from the cave. Eagerly I stripped off my shorts and tugged at my tank top, only to find that the wound in my shoulder had adhered the fabric to my body during the night. Well, there goes another shirt, I guess I'll have to soak it off, but it's ruined now. The thought losing yet one more pieces of my limited wardrobe depressed me a bit.

 

I heard birds singing in the nearby trees and the scent of summer flowers drifted past me on the strong wind. The soothing atmosphere began to cheer me as the burning sting the warm water on my wounds had impelled slowly faded and I relaxed into the comforting hot heat. After everything, this is the most surprising event yet; I can still find comfort and respite in the midst of chaos. Tonight, tomorrow or four seconds from now some bloodthirsty monster, angry bandit or machinating yokai could burst upon the scene and incited terror and pain into my life once more, but for now, I have this. I let a short happy giggle escape me and even though I was alone I blushed at the childishness of it.

 

I took my time in the hot spring. Soaking, scrubbing, and even applied some scented oil. I examined the little red bottle wistfully. Akemi gave this to me last winter after I helped her brother with that fever. Now they are all dead. I let a sigh escape my lips and tried to move my thoughts past the melancholy recollection, Was it really only last winter? Has it really been more than a year? I looked up at the early September sky thoughtfully, what will I be doing this winter? Will we all still be traveling, holed up in another abandoned castle or dead like Akemi and the rest? With a rueful shake of my head and I sigh I put my kimono on and began brushing my drying hair out. As I began to put it up in my usual bun, but the wind caught my tie and blew it out of my reach. I silently cursed it as I helplessly watched it drift off upon the fickle current over the cliff edge, and into the canyon below. Vexed, I sat down once more and contemplated my hair.

 

As I looked thoughtfully down at it against the soft fabric of my garment I noticed the holes in my kimono where completely gone. The shock of it made me stop brushing and examine it more closely. Not one rip, not even a wrinkle. What the hell is this stuff? Panic over took me for a moment as I contemplated the insane fabric but a calm voice interjected itself into the mess that had become my mind, Calm down, he may be a jerk, but he's not going to give you some evil demonic cloths that will steal your soul or suck out your life. The voice of reason sounded disturbingly like my grandmother's but it did the trick and my panic subsided a little. So I guess he didn't carry a change of cloths either, it just healed itself like this did. I'll have to ask him about it when I get back. My stomach growled and my thoughts switched to more important matter as I gathered my things and went looking for food.

 

The shallow mountain spring Sesshomaru said had drinkable water was an unlikely source of fish. Without anything to trap or kill animals I contented myself with a vegetarian dinner of mushrooms, berries and tubers I could cook in my small pan. Many of the berries I ate before they made there way into my collection and I was happy to find then sweet and juicy.

 

It was well into the afternoon before I stopped by the hot spring again. Idly I glanced at my reflection in the smooth surface of the water. It was the first time in a year that I had actually gotten a good look at myself and I was startled by the green-eyed girl who gazed so intently up at me. I knew I had lost weight and gained muscle, but I wasn't prepared for the athletic woman before me. My dark Auburn hair had grown out from the short crop I had gotten prior to leaving LA for Japan. The shining copper mass that hallowed my face and ended at the small of my back startled me.

 

I knelt down by the water's edge and took a closer look at the pretty woman before me. The Sage of the kimono made my hair and eyes appear more vibrant, and the obi matched the shade of my hair perfectly. One year in the feudal Japan and a spiffy outfit and I go from passably pretty researcher to California babe. Oh Adrian if you could see me now. The woman in the water developed a sad and haunted look in her eyes and her mouth curved down into a troubled frown as she ran a stray hand over the darker green flower pattern on her kimono, It's mostly the outfit. Jaken was right, Sesshomaru may have a lot of failings, but he has a great eye for cloths. Maybe he's gay…An evil grin lit the face in the water as I stood and I made my thoughtful way back to the cave chuckling about the over acted, Hollywood style, flamboyantly gay Sesshomaru my mind had created. Not likely, but way funny! I thought as my imaginary Sesshomaru reprimanded my imaginary Terrance Palmer about how his hiking boots didn't match his eyes and where incredibly last season.

 

My good humor didn't fade as I entered the cavern. Upon my arrival I noticed Sesshomaru appeared to be genuinely asleep. Quietly I set my belongings down and contemplated the cave. Jaken always does the fires when we are in places like this, how the hell does he know where to put it so we don't suffocate from the smoke? I tugged thoughtfully at strand of my hair and Sesshomaru's deep voice pulled me from my reverie, “There is adequate ventilation for a fire directly to your left.”

 

I lowered my eyes from the ceiling to his prone form, “Thank you, I'm sorry if I woke you.” I wanted to ask how he was feeling, but I knew that he'd just be insulted and dismiss the concern out of hand. So I tried to be considerate instead, keeping my movements to a minimum as I went about the work of preparing a fire pit.

 

He remained silent as I worked and I thought that he had gone to sleep. Yet when I grabbed my water bottle and stepped out of the cave to go in search of firewood I found he had followed me. Thinking he wanted to attend to his own personal needs I ignored him and moved up the slope towards the fresh water spring and the cluster of trees surrounding it. I was irritated to find him silently dogging my footsteps but I continued to ignore him as I filled the water bottle, pulled the strap across my shoulder and busied myself collecting firewood. I made three trips to the cave and back under his careful vigil before I lost my temper and my patience.

 

We where halfway up the slope for my fourth and final trip when his labored breathing made me whirl upon him and blurted, “What the hell do you think you're doing?”

 

“Those monks are nearby, it is not safe for you to be alone.” I ground my teeth in frustration and pushed past him as I made my way back down the hill towards the cave without my intended fuel.

 

“Why the hell didn't you say something sooner? Those monks want you dead, not me, genius. I don't need you nanny goating my every move and you're only making yourself weaker with your own stupidity.” I wanted to scream at him, but I kept my voice low in deference to the danger.

 

I finished my tirade as we entered the cave and I wasn't really surprised when his hand on my shoulder turned me around before grabbing my throat and pinning me against the wall. “I will tolerate your insolence no longer, ningen.” My, my, isn't this getting familiar. I laughed at my own thought and his grip tightened on my throat. I saw sweat beading on his forehead and knew that this show of male bravado was costing him dearly.

 

My hand came up and smacked his wrist hard. I felt his claws graze my skin as my strike forced his fingers from my neck and I glared angrily into his eyes. “If this is how you treat your allies, no wonder you have so many enemies.” I shoved him hard and saw his head bounce against the opposite wall of the cave as he tumbled.

 

My anger faded instantly and I fought back a cringe and an apology, Malice is my best weapon right now. I towered over him, “Don't make me regret dragging your worthless carcass here, yokai, you are quickly losing whatever esteem I had for you by being an egocentric dumb ass.” I leaned over him and positioned my face only few inches from his, glaring into his eyes I continued, “You may be incapable of good manners, but I always admired you intelligence and your honesty. Up until this moment I actually believed you posed a great deal of integrity and acumen. I respected your levelheaded good sense, but you are seriously making me doubt my own judgment. Yesterday you would have been able to handle those monks, no question, but now you can barely walk fifty feet without breaking into an exhausted sweat. Yet instead of acknowledging that you blunder on like an idiot, wasting what little energy you have and then you insult and threaten your only ally. I am half tempted right now to find a rock and beat your head in myself and save those monks, Byakuya, Naraku, and whoever else the effort!” He looked dazed and I wondered about the damage the fall had inflicted upon his head. His aura is so weak, even this close to him, and knowing what to look for, I can barely feel it. Worry gnawed at me.

 

With a weary sigh I stood and pushed him away from the wall. I then quickly positioned myself behind him and roughly shoved my hands under his armpits, my left hand grazed the stump of his missing arm but I ignored the sensation as I took hold and began dragging him towards the back of the cave. I felt his body tense against my efforts and he made a noise of protest. Stopping I snarled at him, “You are to near to the cave mouth, your aura, or whatever it is, is really weak but if you sit that close to the opening the monks and whatever else is out there is sure to sense it and come looking for you. So if you can walk then walk, otherwise I'm going to drag you, but one way the other you will move.”

 

There was a long pause as I looked down at him resting in my arms and then he said hoarsely, “What you say is true. I will walk, with you assistance.” That's the closest he's probably going to get to asking for help. I knelt down at his side and waited for him to wrap his arm around my shoulders before I lifted him to his feet and we made our sluggish way to the back of the cave. Turning both our backs to the wall we made the slow descent to the floor together.

 

I rested in that position for a moment, relishing my victory with my arm still securely attached to his waist, his arm around my shoulders. Slowly I with drew my grip and awkwardly removed his arm from my shoulder. He was breathing heavily again and his eyes where shut, but they opened quickly as I detached myself from him. Embarrassed by my earlier outburst I couldn't meet his gaze as I felt furious blush burning my face and I hastily retreated to the fire pit.

 

His eyes followed me; even with my back to him I could feel them boring into the rear of my head. I knew I had been way out of line, with most of what I'd said, but I fought the urge to apologize. He won't appreciate contrition, in his eyes that's only another sign of weakness. So I ignored him and busied myself with the fire. He's probably so mad at me now that if I wait for him to speak first, I may just be able to live the rest of my life in peace. The prospect of him never talking to me again was a pleasant and I started humming a soft, sad song. I was into the second verse before I realized it was `Beautiful Disaster'. I stopped humming abruptly, Freudian slip? A mocking voice in my mind asked me and I chuckled silently at the absurd idea as the fire finally caught and I began cooking my tubers and mushrooms.

 

My peace lasted for several hours as I ate my dinner, washed the pan with water from my water bottle, made myself some tea and settled down to write in my journal. Sesshomaru was still watching me, but I was doing well ignoring him. I flipped to a clean page and realized that I was nearing end of my journal. I thoughtfully ran my fingers over the empty pages and felt the photo album behind them. Maybe because I had thought of him that morning, I pulled it out and flipped to the one of Adrian and I at the beach and gazed at it thoughtfully.

 

I didn't look bad back then, fewer muscles, but I was still thin and pretty. I look great in than bikini too. God I was so happy that day. Adrian's face was turned toward me in the picture and his laughing eyes made his whole face light up. I admired the way his toned body looked in his blue swim trunks with a slight smile. We where both so tan! We must have spent every weekend at the beach that summer. I felt tears threatening to spill and a sad frown cross my face. I took a deep breath fighting the sadness. As I turned the album over a noise from the cave mouth made me jump to my feet and sent both the album and my journal skittering across the floor in different directions. I snatched the journal first before I realized the album and slid right into Sesshomaru.

 

He slowly raised it on to his lap and leisurely began flipping through the pictures. A feeling of angry anxiety filled me as everything in me screamed to rip my most precious possession from him, but I forced myself to ignoring my childishness and inspect the noise instead. Clutching my journal to my chest, I gazed out into the inky night. The wind had picked up and the sky was filled with ominous black storm clouds. Looking around I saw a stray tree branch stuck into the little hedge in front of or refuge. As the wind blew, it caused the stick to scrape against the rocks creating an ominous screeching sound. Just a stick, I sighed in relief and pulled it free. Carrying it inside I threw it onto the fire before turning to Sesshomaru. To my surprise he wordlessly offered the photo album to me. I took it from his hand cautiously and restored it to its resting place in my journal.

 

I went back to my writing in silence. I managed to update the entries for the previous three days, place the diary back into my pack, add more wood to the fire, curl up on the hard ground next to the blaze, and close my eyes before he finally spoke. “Is that form of dress really very common in your land?” CHRIST! He was so quiet and it was so nice! The sound of his voice was grating and when the question finally registered my irritation only increased.

 

“Remember when it was quiet, just a moment ago? That was really nice, lets do that again.” I responded curtly, but he persisted.

 

“What are the words to that song you where humming earlier?” His tone was board, detached and more irritating than a fly buzzing in my ear.

 

I sat up and glowered at him exasperatedly, “You are absolutely unbelievable! You're really just going to pretend that the whole argument didn't happen and you expect me to be all right with that?”

 

“I lost my temper in that field and did you an injury, you lost your temper and lashed out at me. I expect that it is now fair to assume we are even on that score.” It was almost an admission and almost an apology and yet neither, and since it was obvious it cost him something to go that far; I was willing to accept it as both. I made a frustrated noise and answered him haughtily.

 

“That form of dress is known as a swimsuit and as I've mentioned to Jaken before, it is very common in a certain setting. Despite Jaken's opinion, the people where I come from still have standard of decency and that particular garment is limited to the beach and summertime only. It's not like I'd wear it to an interview or even on the bus.” I was pretty sure that since there was no form of public transportation in the feudal era that `bus' didn't translate, just like Disney and several other words I knew he couldn't possibly relate to, but he ignored it and moved on to another topic.

 

“Sing the words to the tune you where humming earlier.”

 

I though about the words to `Beautiful Disaster' briefly, “I don't recall if it had words, I really only remember the tune.” The lie rolled off my tongue hesitantly and he frowned at me. Ah crap he's gonna call me on it. I blushed and tried to think of an un-embarrassing way to explain why I refused to sing it.

 

“There are many ballads that I know of which have less than wholesome lyrics, I assume from your reaction the one you where humming was one of that nature?” I felt my tiny blush expand to encompass my face and my embarrassment was compounded by his explanation. I don't want to know what dirty limericks you may have floating around in that Machiavellian little head of yours.

 

“Sort of.” I responded lamely as I pretended intense interest in fluffing my pack into makeshift pillow. God, let me melt into the floor now!

 

“Why did you lead that monk to believe you hold me in some sort of esteem, and why tell him to remember my name instead of your own when it was your interference that spared his life?” Out of the frying pan into the fire.

 

I lay back down and stared at the ceiling as I directed my words behind me to where he rested. “I said nothing about your character, then or earlier tonight, that I don't believe myself. You are motivated, from what I've witnessed, by a fairly rational and honorable set of rules and for the most part I trust your judgment. I told you that even when you didn't intervene at the village. The decision was a logical one I could understand, and I meant it.” I paused and ran a frustrated hand through my hair, “I told the monk to remember your name instead of mine, on a whim, because of some stories I'd heard before I came here. The real bottom line is that in the scheme of things you will live a great deal longer than I will and play a larger role in the formation of history. There are a lot of stories about the deeds of unnamed yokai in the future, and I thought it would be a nice change if a name could be attached to at least one of them. Besides, they always remember the humans.”

 

He didn't reply directly and so I assumed he had finally fallen asleep, with a sigh I sat up and put more wood onto the fire. I stared broodingly into its flickering depth and thought about what it would be like to live for thousands of years, would I become that cold and unapproachable too? Looking down at my hair I was fascinated by the way the firelight reflected in it, It's so pretty now, if I keep it down like this I'm going to run a serious risk of becoming vain. I smiled at the thought of me spending all day gazing at myself in the mirror as I followed Sesshomaru and the others all over hell and creation. My imaginary self fell over an unseen tree root and landed face first in the mud. My smile became bigger and I fought not to laugh and wake Sesshomaru. My eyes trailed down to my kimono, Damn, I forgot to ask him about the holes. I did chuckle then at my own inanity. I brow beat him, hit him and dragged him around the cave like a sack of potatoes and I'm upset I didn't ask about a stupid kimono? The sound rang out of me and I childishly threw my hand over my mouth to stifle it.

 

“Rin habitually does that as well, I frequently wonder what it is she manages to find so amusing.” Sheepishly I turned to face him.

 

“I'm sorry I woke you.” I replied in earnest contrition.

 

“I was not asleep.”

 

“Oh, alright then.” I couldn't keep myself from blushing, I'm sitting by the fire acting like a ten year-old and he's been watching me the whole time. I am such a doofus. But I still want to know. “How is it that all the holes in my kimono mended themselves? It's a little disturbing.” There was a long pause and I thought that he wouldn't answer, but then his weary voice drifted towards me.

 

“It is made from yokai moth silk and is in some way still in possession of the moth's life force.”

 

“Wow, the explanation makes it even weirder,” I chuckled, “thanks.” I gave him a rueful smile before turning and added more wood to the fire. The cave had become chilly and I wrapped my arms around my legs as I huddled close for warmth. “I wish there was a way to speed this process up, I don't like the idea of leaving Rin and Jaken alone for six more days. They will both be worried about you, and they probably think I'm dead. Even without Byakuya to contend with that's a lot for them to handle on their own.”

 

“Jaken will take care of Rin until our return, and the child is quite clever and resourceful in her own right. Yet I also wish to, as you put it, `speed this process up' I do not enjoy being in this state. If only I had some Togakushisgouma petals.” I looked up at him in outraged surprise.

 

“All these months and you still don't get it!” I stood and went to my pack. I continued to berate him as I rummaged through my medicine bag, “I am a botanist, I study plants and when someone tells me that `its petals have some very useful qualities', or some such, I`m not going to ignore them.” I pulled the little drawstring sack from my pack in triumph.

 

“You thought that I was a construct of your imagination at the time, I did not expect you to heed my words. Particularly since I did not resemble someone you held in esteem.” I tried to remember who I'd compared him to, but it had been over a year and my brain wouldn't bring it to mind.

 

“Yeah well not then, but later, just before we left on this journey I went through the garden and collected as many useful herbs as I could, and remembering what you'd said I clipped every bloom that the Togakushisgouma had at the time.” I dropped the small buddle onto his lap as I moved back to the warmth of the fire.

 

“It must be brewed into a tea.” He responded colorlessly.

 

I sighed at looked to the dark cave mouth. “Well then it will have to wait until morning, are the monks still around?”

 

“No they have moved on, but you are right, there are still many predators out there that you would be unable to defend against, however, you need not to leave the cave. Place your cooking container outside the entrance, it will rain soon.” I did what he said and thunder rumbled overhead as I moved back to the fire. I heard rain pattering outside as I sat.

 

“Shit, if I'd known earlier that it would rain, I would have gotten more than a nights worth of firewood. I'm going to freeze by tomorrow night.” I was mostly grousing to myself in a low angry mutter and was glad when he remained silent. A half hour of rainfall passed before I retrieved my pan and began brewing the infusion of petals. As they began to steep, a sickeningly sweet aroma filled the cave and the water in my pan turned to an unnatural shade of magenta. “How pink does this have to be?” I asked him still stirring the now thickening mess.

 

“It will turn purple.” Moments later it did darken to a thick purple sludge.

 

I hesitated before putting the mess into my only teacup, “Will this stuff wash out?” I asked skeptically and when he only gave me an exasperated glare I bit the bullet and filled the mug to the brim before taking it to him. The smell turned my stomach but he gulped it down like a shot and handed the cup back. I watched him for a second before returning to the fire, and pouring the remaining sludge into the cup. I then put the pan outside before asking. “So how much help will this stuff be?” I eyeballed the purple goop as I set the cup next to him.

 

“I will need but one more day of rest before I am at my full abilities once more.” His voice had already returned to its accustomed icy strength and the color had returned to his eyes. Even his boa was a snowy white again. I smiled up at him with genuine relief.

 

“Thank God, you where really becoming quite unpleasant company for a while. Your threats where so weak and unimaginative I was worried you actually might be in trouble. Though you rallied all right at the end; almost your petty, scornful self.” He glared at me and parted his lips to speak but I cut him off, “I know I know, watch yourself, ningen, I could kill you in an instant.” I stood and went back to the fire. When I spoke again my voice was still soft and shaky with unshed tears and dissipating worry, “I really am sorry for being so rude.” He said nothing and after a while I curled up with my pack as a pillow and fell into a deep and contented sleep.

 

I woke in the morning to find myself encompassed in fuzzy warmth, and Sesshomaru's boa wrapped securely around me. There was a blazing fire and an excessively large pile of wood near by. My pan had been cleaned and was resting in a warming position near the blaze with some sort of meat stew inside. My full water bottle was also in easy reach on the floor, Wow, little house elves have nothing on grateful yokai. Sesshomaru was nowhere to be seen.

 

I delicately disentangled myself from the downy fur, and carrying it like a teddy bear, I went to the cave mouth. I found Sesshomaru standing just outside, watching the early fall rain and getting soaked. Silently I offered him the boa as he replaced it his shoulder I said, “Beautiful day isn't it?”

 

“The rain will cease soon.” He replied in his usual monochromatic tone and the emotionless pitch reassured me. He's going to be just fine now. I smiled cheerily and went back into the cave to eat mystery meat soup. It was dreadful, but I finished it all and carried the empty pan to the cave mouth quickly. The rain had stopped in the mean time, but Sesshomaru was still where I'd left him, statue-like and dripping.

 

“If you wanted to get clean, a rain bath isn't really going to do much for you, but a yokai with abysmal manners informed me yesterday that there's a hot spring up the hill.” My cheekiness shook him from his reverie and he glared down at me in silent annoyance. My tone became serious as I asked him, “So, what's out there?”

 

“Nothing more than pests and vermin, but the lack of sunlight has kept them active. They will not trouble us as long as you remain in the cave.” Well it's nicer than, `none of your damned business, ningen, just keep your inferior self in the cave.' I eyed him with a thoughtful, “Hmmm,” before going back to the fire.

 

I wanted to thank him for the supplies and the food, but I knew he wouldn't appreciate it. Probably thinks its payback for the herbs. Everything has to be debts and repayment with him, everything accounted for. I sighed over the formality of it all. His footsteps where again as silent as death, but his aura was as strong as ever and alerted me to the fact that he had crept back in and was standing only inches from my exposed back. I ignored him, poking the fire idly as I waited for him to speak. There was a time not long ago that having him that close would have freaked me out. When did his presence change from petrifying to comforting? I sighed again and gave the fire a viscous stab with my stick Wonders never cease.

 

He continued to stand behind me for several more minutes before, to my own shock, he settled down next to me by the fire. He was only inches from where my empty left hand rested on the floor and I self-consciously moved it into my lap. After several more moments of silent contemplation of the fire, I began to tell him a story. “There once was a young girl named Dorothy, that due to tragic circumstance lived with her Aunty Em, Uncle Henry, three kindly farm hands and her dog, Toto in a place called Kansas.” It took me all day to tell him the story of the `Wonderful Wizard of Oz' as well as `Return to Oz' but he never moved, he never spoke, and though I only took my eyes off of the fire to take drinks from my water bottle, I could feel the all to familiar intensity if his gaze on me.

 

It was well into the evening when I finished, and my stomach rumbled embarrassingly into the empty void my silence created. I made an exasperated noise, clutched my stomach and curled over it in hopes of muffling any more involuntary sounds. “If you are hungry there are fruit bearing bushes nearby. If I accompany you, it will be safe enough for you to retrieve some sustenance.” For the first time since he sat down I looked to him and was surprised that his intense gaze was still focused on my face. I blushed and looked away before answering.

 

“That's really a very generous offer, but with those clouds there isn't any moonlight tonight and though I think I know where those bushes are, my night vision is abysmal. I wouldn't make it without aggravating my injuries more. One hungry night isn't going to do me any harm.” I saw his shadow on the cave wall give a curt nod.

 

“I believe I am now insulted that you compared me to Toe Toe. However, the stupid creature was, as you said, noble and Dorothy's protector. I am curious as to why you believe I would fit the role so poorly.” I gave a short laugh.

 

“Because you're not stupid and you wouldn't have just bitten Almira Gulch, you would have ripped her to pieces. Then the story never would have happened.” He grunted and stood.

 

“Jaken is a perfect Lion.” He remarked from behind me, I was startled then, as his boa settled around my shoulders. “Sleep now, we leave at dawn.” His receding voice told me he had moved to the far wall.

 

“Sure thing, boss.” I replied sarcastically as I settled down on my pack and wrapped the piece of fur snugly around myself. The scent pine needles and crisp autumn surrounded me, It smells like him. What the hell, “Sesshomaru-sama?” I whispered tentatively and when he made a small noise in response I murmured, “Thank you,” Before closing my eyes and waiting for sleep as I drifted off my traitorous mind sang:

 

His magical myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Authors Notes: See Chapter 9 ;)