InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Breaking of Dawn ❯ I'm Still Me ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter four - I'm Still Me

~*~*~

Inuyasha stopped by the edge of the clearing and looked at Kagome's lithe form in the water. He was immensely happy that she had come out of heat while she was unconscious, if she hadn't it wouldn't have been possible for him to control himself now. She was so beautiful, and the way the water played over her naked body made his pulse quicken.

"Osuwari!"

He hit the ground before the word registered in his brain. "What the!?" Pushing his face off the ground he managed to catch a glimpse of a very angry miko girl before he slammed into the ground again at her next `sit' command. The pricking scent of her anger reached his sensitive nose and he mentally berated himself. Her sense of smell was probably as sensitive as his at the moment. How could he have been so stupid to forget? It would be no problem for her to smell him if the wind went the right way.

"Keep your eyes closed and turn around." Kagome's angry voice commanded. "I can't believe you would peek on me. You're obviously spending too much time in company with that hentai monk." She continued.

"Keh! I'm nothing like Miroku. Besides you're the one who took your clothes off in the first place." He protested as he turned around and kept his eyes closed.

"You've already used that excuse once before Inuyasha. I won't hear it." Kagome pulled her clothes on and glared at the hanyou in front of her. She had smelled him and heard him come to the clearing. It still confused her to no end, but she was beginning to see some positive sides with her new and improved senses.

"You can turn now." She said as she tied the last string on her clothes. She didn't feel comfortable in this outfit, and she was very worried on how he would react to her changes. Would he hate her? `Oh please don't hate me?' It occurred to her that that was probably the way Inuyasha thought. He would never say it out loud, but Kagome knew that he was afraid of not being accepted. Understanding him in a more intimate way she let her anger cool and sat down in front of him, so that they were facing each other.

Turning around, Inuyasha opened his eyes and looked at Kagome… his mouth fell open in shock. She was stunning. He hadn't been able to see her up close when she was in the hot spring, but what he saw now really made his breath come short. Her brown eyes were streaked with gold and her skin had become, if even possible more perfect. It seemed softer, smoother. He was about to reach out and touch her when…

"Don't stare like that Inuyasha! Tell me what's happening to me" At Kagome's angry voice, Inuyasha managed to snap back to reality. She smelled of both worry and anger now and he realised that she had no clue about why this had happened to her. Drawing his breath slowly he began to explain…

~*~Flashback~*~

Kaede sighed before she continued. "Do any of you remember what the youkai looked like?"

When Inuyasha realised that everyone was turning to him from answers he felt his anger rise again. "Why're you all looking at me? How am I supposed to remember anything? I was in my bloody youkai form, remember?" Kaede nodded. "Yes of course you were, but do you remember how it looked like afterwards, when you had accepted the sword?" Inuyasha glared angrily at the old miko. "Yes. I remember perfectly well how it looked like after I killed it. It's a memory I'll treasure the rest of my life. The youkai was beaten into a bloody pulp. I just regret that I didn't hurt it more while it was alive."

At the wicked grin covering the hanyou's face, Kaede realised that she wouldn't get any useful information from the stubborn whelp. Sighing she turned to the other person conscious, that had the opportunity to see the youkai before it was mutilated and killed. "Sango. What do you remember of how the youkai looked like?" Sango thought for a second before she answered. "Well, it had black fur and green glowing eyes. What was strange tough about its appearance was that I couldn't decide if it was a dog, a wolf, or a panther. It didn't move in a specific way that would signalise that it was either. It was all blended in a way. It's difficult to explain. One moment he charged as Inuyasha would've done it. The next it relied on speed, like Kouga does. When it bent over Kagome… it was acting like a leopard, elegant and confident. And through it all it moved with the panther's grace. I don't know what else to say. I've never seen a youkai looking or acting like that before…"

Miroku was staring out in the air, deep in thought when Kaede broke in. "Miroku, do you have something to add? A theory perhaps?" With every eye focused on Miroku, he realised he had to give voice to his suspicions.

"There is something that I think is important to add." Indicating Kagome's hands he continued in a lecturing voice. "Kagome didn't suffer serious wounds from the youkai. As far as I can tell the scrapes on her hands are from sharp rocks." Kaede nodded to show that she agreed with him. "In fact, the only wounds from the youkai are these small cuts. I'm guessing it's from the youkai's claws. Now, these wounds, although caused by the youkai shouldn't cause the reaction we see on Kagome now. Unless he's inflicted poison in them. And I don't think that is the cause because you would be making an antidote then." He addressed Kaede directly now. "If it wasn't poison I think it must be some other body fluid that caused it."

Inuyasha growled from his position. "He didn't mate with her. I would've been able to smell it." Miroku nodded to show his agreement. "Indeed you would Inuyasha, but think back to the conversation you had with Shippo earlier. About her change in smell." Inuyasha's eyes went wide at the realisation.

"He has mixed his blood with hers." The anger that had been burning slowly and steadily in him, flared with new ferocity. "I'd kill that fucking bastard if he wasn't already dead!"

Slamming his hand through the floor he made the others in the room jump at his outburst.

"Calm yourself Inuyasha." Kaede hissed. "This is affecting Kagome more than it affects you. You can just hope that she won't hate what she's turning into." His anger cooled… a bit. "Turning into?" He finally asked. Kaede nodded again. "If I have understood Miroku correctly, and I think I have. Then the youkai that attacked Kagome was a blood-changer. It's a rare sort of youkai that has the ability to turn another being into that beings youkai form. Not only that, but it can take blood from other youkai's and mix it with his own. Making him be the subject of change. Improving himself to the better. That's why Sango couldn't figure out what kind of youkai it was. It was partly dog, wolf, and panther." Miroku nodded to show that he agreed with Kaede. "The other thing about blood-changing youkai is that they refuse to mate unless their mate's blood contains at least a drop of the youkai's own blood. Literally."

"You mean to say that Kagome's turning into a youkai." Inuyasha asked after a moment of silence. "Possibly." Kaede answered. "What is your nose telling you?"

He sniffed the air once and arched an eyebrow. "She smells like a hanyou at the moment." He stated.

Kaede lifted Kagome's wounded arm and closed her eyes for a second before she opened them again. "I think there's a good chance that the transformation will stop in her hanyou form. The reason that she's shaking is that she's fighting the alien blood. It seems that not only her soul is stubborn, but her blood too." When she let go of the arm, Kaede smiled. "There's not much we can do for her. I'll wash her in the next room and then I'll let her sleep. Rest in peace, knowing that her life isn't in danger. Inuyasha, will you help me carry her into the next room?"

Inuyasha nodded as he rose to his feet, Kagome in his arms. Was it his imagination or had Kagome's hair turned darker. He shrugged of the thought and followed the old miko, leaving the remaining of the group to fall to sleep.

~*~End Flashback~*~

"Well?" Inuyasha asked after a long and discomforting silence from Kagome. "Well what?" She asked, barely able to contain her irritation and anger. It didn't matter, he could smell it. "Aren't you going to say anything?" He asked, equally irritated and not bothering to try and hide it. "What's there to say?" She asked silently as she rose and began to walk back to the village. Inuyasha stared fumingly at her retreating back. Then a thought struck him and he couldn't help but to feel worried.

"You hate it don't you?" She stopped and turned around, a look of utter bewilderment on her face. "What?" She stuttered.

"The changes." He waved his arm up and down, indicating her body. "You hate that you've been turned into a hanyou." He continued. The thought stung. He didn't want her to be unhappy. But who could blame her? He himself couldn't stand being a worthless half-breed. He was on the brink of running into the forest when she finally talked.

"No. I don't hate it." She said softly, so quiet that even his sensitive ears had problems picking it up. Now he was the one staring bewildered at her. Kagome's face softened as she began to explain.

"Inuyasha. Why would I hate it? If you mean to indicate that I'm angry at the youkai that bit me, then you are right. I am angry. It had no right whatsoever to bite me and mix his blood with mine, but still that doesn't mean that I hate what his blood has turned me into. My physical features and my abilities might have changed, I could even go as far to say that they have improved, but I'm still me. How could I ever hate myself for something that I wasn't the cause for? I'm still me. That's really the thing that I fear most. If I, what makes me `me' would be changed against my own will. No Inuyasha. I don't hate being a hanyou."

The way she looked at him, with those new piercing eyes of hers, made his heartbeat quicken. And somehow he got the feeling that she pitied him. The feelings that would normally have emerged at that realisation were quelled by one simple fact.

She didn't hate being a hanyou.

Sighing and hiding his thoughts and his feelings he began to make his way back to the village. "We should return to the village Kagome. If anybody has awakened they might be worrying." He didn't turn around to check that she followed. The soft sound of her footsteps confirmed that she did.

~*~

Kagome silently walked after Inuyasha back to the village. She didn't really think that she had come to terms with what had happened yet. It was as if her feelings told her that it really had happened, but her brain was still striving to catch up.

She felt numb…

Sensing from Kagome's silence that something wasn't right, Inuyasha turned around when they reached the outskirts of the village.

"Hey, are you alright?" He looked at her with a concerned expression. She nodded weakly while avoiding his gaze. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that this happened really sudden." She finally met his eyes and if the salty tinge to the air didn't tell him anything, the tears brimming in her eyes certainly did. "Hey don't cry!" He hated it when she cried. "There's no reason to cry." He continued.

She looked at him as if he didn't have a clue about anything. "Inuyasha", she began, proud about the fact that her voice didn't shake. "When I… when I told you that I wanted to be with you, to… to help you search for the shards, I knew it would be dangerous. I was prepared to risk my life with you. I still am, but…" She stopped and looked at him pleadingly, and then she lowered her gaze.

He kept silent, waiting for her to continue. Something was obviously bothering her and with everything that had happened to her lately, he wasn't about to brush it off as nothing.

When she still didn't continue, he took a step closer to her and lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. Using his thumb, he wiped away a tear that escaped her eye. "What is it Kagome? Tell me. Please."

She couldn't believe he had just done that. He rarely showed his soft and considering side unless it was the new moon. Still, it comforted her and she felt calmer. When she continued, she held his gaze, hoping to see more of his hidden feelings for her.

"I… I'm prepared to risk my life and get killed for this quest." She rushed on when she saw that he was about to protest. "But… what happened by that lake…" She stopped again, unsure of how to continue.

She might as well get it out.

"Inuyasha, I nearly got raped! I… I nearly…"

When she had said it, her brain really registered the fact for the first time and saw it as true. Her barriers broke and she began to sob. She could feel Inuyasha circle his arms around her in a protective manner and she knew that if he let go of her, she would fall, being unable to stand on her own.

"Shh..." He comforted, stroking her hair softly with his claws. "It's alright now Kagome. It didn't happen. He's dead now Kagome…" Ha hated to see her like this, but he was proud that he was the one giving her the support she needed. Her wrecking sob rung loud in his ears and at the moment, he was willing to do anything to make everything alright again. Somehow, he knew that the incident had changed Kagome and not only because of the youkai blood she now had. No, something else had changed too.

Something was broken.

He wanted to do anything to fix it again. Pulling her closer to his body, he whispered reassurances to her, wanting her to know them for truth. "I'll always be there for you Kagome. I'll always be there to protect you. Don't ever doubt that… "

~*~*~

A/n: o.O People sure like this story... Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I figured you all want some fluff, so Inuyasha's and Kagome's relationship is speeding up…I hope you don't mind, but it seemed to fit with how I plan the story. Enjoy!