InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Closet ❯ Flaming Gazes and Stuff of the Like! (The REAL Chappie 13) ( Chapter 14 )

The REAL Chappie 13 -

Flaming Gazes and Stuff of the Like

Well, I'M BACK!! Not that you all care… <.< >.> … Hee, hee, hee! Anyway, I can't procrastinate anymore. I've decided to get on with it and finish this story! Not in this chapter of course but soon… <.< >.> …

Disclaimer: Yes, I will eventually own Inu-Yasha. No, I don't own Inu-Yasha.

*Sessoumaru is attending his first ever meeting of Gay Demons Anonymous! Guess who his sponsor is? KIRASENDO!! Yes! That dorkus who didn't know what `rhetorical' meant is back! Actually, I just realized that I never finished that storyline so I decided to put him back in.*

Sessoumaru: Hi. My name is Sessoumaru, and I'm gay.

All: *Suggestively* Hello, Sesshomaru!

Kirasendo: Hi. My name is Kirasendo. I'm his sponsor. *Points to Sesshie.*

All: *Suggestively* Hello, Kirasendo!

Kirasendo: Um… I'm… not gay.

All: *Disappointed* Aw!

Kirasendo: Wait, what is this? I thought this was like Alcoholics Anonymous? Y'know, a support group to cure him? *Points again to Sesshie.*

Gay Demon #1: No way in Naraku! It's a singles' bar!

Kirasendo: *To Sesshie:* Dammit! I should've known when the flyer said "No girls allowed"! Come on, Sesshomaru. Let's go… Sesshomaru? Sesshomaru? SESSHOMARU GET YOUR BUTT AWAY FROM THAT BAR AND… IS THAT NARAKU?!

Naraku: *In a very gay voice to Sesshie:* Oh, behave!

Kirasendo: *Barfs*

Sesshie: *Giggles*

Naraku: *Places hand on Sesshie's arm*

Sesshie: I DO NOT GIGGLE!

~Me~ Quiet, you! *Whacks Sesshie wiv deh frying pan of Kenders and Aeryn.*

Sesshie: *Ows*

~*~

Scene: *Is new*

Kagome: Hey, does anyone remember what actually happened the last time there was an actual fic?

Miroku: We've had an actual fic?

Sango: *Screams*

Miroku: *Smiles*

Sango: *Whacks Miroku*

Inu-Yasha: *Laughs*

Kagome: *Sits*

~Me~ Okay! Okay! Last fic you… *Goes into her Closet Archives to check what did happen last fic…* Oh, right! You were all bugging `Roku bout deh kama sutra-ness of his reading material!

Inu-Yasha: *Laughs his head off* Oh yeah! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAA SUUUUUUTRA!!!! *Taunts Miroku*

~Me~ You also are still travelling with Usuke. I totally forget what was really supposed to happen with him so … IMPROVISE! Have fun! Bai!

Inu-Yasha: *Grins evilly at Usuke*

Usuke: *Cowers*

Koga: Hey guys!

Ayame: THEY-ARE NOT-YOUR FRIENDS! *Yells at Koga*

Koga: *Whines* But they got rid of Usuke! I LOVE them!

Ayame: I KNEW you still had the hots for that future chick!

Kagome: I resent being called a `chick'!

Ayame: *Roars at Kagome*

Inu-Yasha: *Punches Ayame in the face*

Koga: *Yays!*

Ayame: *Ows and punches Koga in the face*

Koga: *Ows*

Ayame: *Runs away*

Koga: *Winks at Kagome. Runs away*

Inu-Yasha: *Throws rocks at Koga's head as he runs away.* DASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU EVER WINK AT HER AGAIN!

Koga: *Ows*

Kagome: *Sighs*

Sango: *Laughs*

Usuke: *Laughs*

Koga: *Cries*

Shippo: *To Koga:* I thought you left?

Koga: *Shifty eyes* I… did… *Runs away… again <.< >.>*

~Me~ *Changes scene*

~*~

Kirasendo: *Trying to drag Sesshomaru away from the bar counter* Come on! We're leaving! Let go of the damn table!!

Sesshomaru: *Whines* NUUUU! I wanna stay! *To Naraku:* CALL ME! *Is dragged off*

Kirasendo: I thought you hated Naraku? Y'know, for the arm thing? And all the other crap that never seems to kill him?

Sesshomaru: BUT HE'S SO HAWT!! I could never stay mad at him!

Kirasendo: *Confused* But, you're gay. You can't like Naraku.

Sesshomaru: *Also confused* What? Like, wtf, mates? Naraku's a guy, I'm gay. Why can't I like him?

Kirasendo: *Shakes head* Nope. He looks like a girl, acts like a girl, screams like a girl… *Goes on for 3 hours about the girliness of deh Naraku.*

Sesshomaru: *Whines* STOP IT! NARAKU IS NOT GIRLIE!! *Cries*

Kirasendo: *Stares at Sesshie's hair*

Sesshomaru: *Alarmed* What? What?!

Kirasendo: *Still staring at the hair* Sesshomaru… your hair…

Sesshomaru: *Freaking out* WHAT?! What's wrong with my hair?!?! *Runs away screaming to find a lake or mirror-like surface*

Kirasendo: Hm. Kagome was right. Worked like a charm.

~*~

Kagome: *Screams* INU-YASHA!

Inu-Yasha: *Concerned* What?! What's wrong?!

Kagome: *Angrily* You ate all the food, again! You jerk! Sit!

Inu-Yasha: *Is sitted* OW! DAMMIT, KAGOME! DO YOU EVER EVEN BOTHER TO ASK IF I REALLY DID EAT ALL THE FOOD?!?!

Kagome: *Blushes* Oh… did you?

Inu-Yasha: Yes.

Kagome: *GR-owfles* YOU JERK! SITSITSITSITSITSITSITSIT!!

Inu-Yasha: *Ows from a huge crater in the ground*

Shippo: *Sitting on Inu's head* You need to learn to keep your big mouth shut. *Shakes head*

Inu-Yasha: *Whacks Shippo in the head*

Shippo: *Ows in the head*

Sango: *Snogs Miroku*

Miroku: *Snogs Sango*

Kagome: *Like, wtf, mates?* UWAAA?! SANGO?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Sango: *Catches breath* Hm? Oh, well, since you and Inu-Yasha confessed your feelings, Miroku and I did, too.

Kagome: *Sweatdrop* Oy… We said `I love you' in like, the first chapter! What really brought this on?

Miroku: Oh, we've been snogging since then; it's just that no one's noticed. You and Inu-Yasha are so public!

Kagome: *Furious* WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Sango: Duh, you two fight more than… well, Koga and Inu-Yasha… or… Inu-Yasha and… anyone, really…

Kagome: *Confused* Me and Inu-Yasha fight more than… me and… Inu-Yasha…?

Sango: Damn you and your… literal… ness…!!

~Me~ *Ows*

All: *Look up, confused* Like, wtf, mates?

~Me~ Nyah? Oh, I was sitting on mah foot and it hurt… Um, back to deh fic, please?

Kagome: *Is damned?*

Inu-Yasha: *Is mad?*

Shippo: *To Sango:* You and Miroku aren't more private, just quieter. And you do it at night when no one's writing the fic.

Kohaku: *Suggestively:* Do what, eh Sis?

Sango: *Creeped out* NOT THAT! GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!

Miroku: *Confused* Gutter? Like, wtf, mates? What in the world is a `gutter'?

Sango: I have no idea. It's one of Kagome's future sayings.

Kagome: It means that your mind is dirty. *Tauntingly* Like Sango and Miroku's relationship.

Miroku: *Impatiently* I wish.

Sango: *GASPETHS! Slaps Miroku* YOU LECH! *Kisses Miroku* Damn you and your hotafuffy-ness!

Inu-Yasha: *To Kagome:* Like, wtf, mates? What was that about?

Kagome: *Annoyed* I'm not a fountain of knowledge! *Moves hands up and down beside her head as if putting on a really big crown… <.< >.>* There's no Old Faithful here!

Inu-Yasha: *Confused* Old… Faith… ful…?

Kagome: It's a geyser!

Inu-Yasha: *Still confused, maybe more so* Guy… zer…?

Kagome: *GAH's!* YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!

Inu-Yasha: *Angry* Well… so's your face!

All but Inu: Nyah?

Inu-Yasha: *GR-owfles and runs away to deh Goshinboku*

All: <.< >.>

~Me~ *Sighs lovingly* He's so cute when he's an idiot…

Kagome: BACK OFF; GET YOUR OWN INU-YASHA!

~Me~ *Rolls eyes and shakes head* I'm you, you dorkus!

Kagome: <.< >.>

~Me~ That's what I thought!

All: <.< >.>

Kagome: Does that mean I thought that, too?

~Me~ I-ye-no-I mean-Shut-up! And the worst part is I can't even smite you. DAGNABBIT!

Sango: Where were we? No really, I forget.

Kagome: I thought you were still snogging Miroku?

Miroku: So did I? *Turns to the girl in his arms* Then who the Naraku was I snogging?

Aeryn: ME! *Suggestively* But you don't have to stop. *Laughs maniacally*

Sango: Something about this is very disturbing… <.< >.>

Miroku: *Considering* Hm, well, having two Sangos to snog would be much more convenient. That way, if one weren't `in the mood' I'd have a back-up…

Sango: *Whacks Miroku*

Aeryn: *Waves hand* I call not back-up!

Sango: *Whacks Aeryn in the head and then ows* Like, wtf, mates? *To Aeryn:* Why'd I ow if I hit you??

Aeryn: Duh! You're me!

Sango: This sucks! I can't even exact revenge when she tries to steal my boyfriend!

Aeryn: Yes, you can! It just hurts you, too!

Sango: *Annoyed* That's not revenge.

Aeryn: *Grins evilly* That's justice!

~Me~ *Is on Furc… the Devil* I AM SO ADDICTED! *Shifty eyes* I… have um… writer's block… yeah…

Usuke: *Trying vainly to return to the lack of plot* So, where are we off to next? A wedding chapel?

~UberAuthor~ DUN DUN DUN!

~Me~ WHAT WAS THAT?!

~UberAuthor~ *Innocently* Nothing…

Sango: *Still annoyed-geez! What's her problem?!* Shut-up! Let's just get moving!

Inu-Yasha: *Confused* Where?

Kagome: *Confused* Yeah, where?

Inu-Yasha: Weren't we eating? I remember being yelled at for eating all the food. Then the snogging started… *Shudders*

Kagome: *Is angry* Oh, right!

Inu-Yasha: *Is an idiot* Um… whoops?

Kagome: *Sighs and shrugs* Oh, whatever! Let's just go! We can hang out in my era for awhile.

Miroku: *Confused* Why?

Kagome: No idea.

~*~

*In Kagome's era*

Kagome: Okay, there's pop in the fridge, chips and popcron in the cupboard and candy in the toaster.

Shippo: *Excited* Candy?!

Inu-Yasha: *Confused* In the toaster?

Kagome: I do not try to understand Sota… *Shakes head*

Sota: *Pops up* You rang?

Kagome: *Rolls eyes; sarcastically:* Yeah, go fetch us some refreshments, Jeeves.

Sota: *Indignantly* I told you! My butler name is James, Kagome! *Storms off to the kitchen to `fetch the refreshments'*

Shippo: *Wide eyes* Was that just me or did that seem overly feminine?

~Me~ I'm taking a break! In my head none of this is connecting! I can't hold the story together and talk on Furc at the same time! That's pathetic… And I'm back! … 3 hours later… <.< >.>

~UberAuthor~ We're listening to Gavin Thorpe! Out of Place!

~Me~ That is relevant… how? ~.^

~UberAuthor~ It isn't. I like non-stating-of-relevant-facts-on-a-Friday-night type hobbies… ^-^

~Me~ *Rolls eyes; stops; thinks* I'm rolling my eyes at myself… Oh, well, nothing new about that. *Shrugs; goes back to… teh fic?*

Sango: *Puts in X-Men*

Miroku: *Yays!*

Kagome: *Yays, too*

Inu-Yasha: *Looks at Kagome* X-Men? Again?!

Kagome and Sango: You can never get enough Wolverine!

~Me~ He's damn hot! *Blinks* Did I say that out loud?

All: *Nods*

~Me~ Good. `Cause it's damn true!

Kohaku: What's your fascination with that word?

~Me~ I dunno… It makes everything seem funnier I guess… Like… What was that word? I unno… I'll get back to you! ^_~

Ka-

~Me~ GLODE!!! GLODE GLODE GLODE!! See, if you say `glowed' fast enough then the spelling should eventually become `glode'. It's like `globe' with a `d'! GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!! GLODE GLODE GLODE!!!!

Kagome: *Clears throat; says pointedly* As I was saying, X-Men never gets old! Wolverine's too cute! Or… hot!

Inu-Yasha: *Gr-owfles!* What about me?!

Kagome: *Says with straight face* You're my hotafuffy hanyou and no movie star will ever replace you!

Audience: AW!

All: *Alarmed* Like, wtf, mates?!?! Since when is there an audience?!?!

~Me~ What? Did you think I just wrote the fic for my own twisted enjoyment? No! I wrote it for the twisted enjoyment of others, too!

Kirara: *Mews*

Shippo: *Ohs*

Inu-Yasha: O.o

Miroku: *Turns to audience* Would any of you young, beautiful women like to bear my children?

Audience: *Silence*

Sango: *Whacks*

Kohaku: *Yells* SHOT DOWN!

Miroku: *Shrugs; turns to Sango* Will-

Sango: *Whacks; snogs Miroku* Damn you and your hotafuffy houshi charm!

Shippo: Is this entire chapter going to nothing but snogging?

~Me~ *Evasively* Maybe… <.< >.>

Sota: Back wiv deh sake, vodka, tequila and deh bottle!

Kagome: *Shocked* SOTA! Where did you get all that liquor?!

Inu-Yasha: *Surprised* Yeah, and why didn't you share any before?!

Kagome: *Absently* Bottle? Why for?

Sota: Duh! For spin the bottle!

Kagome: *More shockage* SOTA! I don't think Miroku and Sango need help snogging.

Sota: *Rolls eyes; mutters* No, but you and Inu-Yasha do…

Kagome: *Is scandalized*

Inu-Yasha: *Sighs* So true…

Kagome: *Whacks; sits*

Inu-Yasha: *Ows*

Kagome: *Hmphs* Look, guys, we're just gonna watch a movie and go to bed, okay? I think we've had enough excitement for one day.

Usuke: No we haven't. I'm really evil. I've just been waiting for the best time to tell you. So, surprise!

Wolverine on TV: *Amused and mocking* And what do they call you? Wheels? *Laughs*

Kagome: *Laughs*

Inu-Yasha: *Fehs*

Miroku: *Snogs Sango*

Sango: *Snogs Miroku*

Usuke: *Is disappointed* Didn't anyone notice my climatic news?

Shippo: *Comes out of his daze* What? Oh, no, sorry. TV. *Points to TV and zones back in*

Kohaku: *Snores*

Usuke: *Cries*

~*~

*Next morning*

Inu-Yasha: *Wakes up; stretches* So what'd I miss yesterday?

Usuke: *Whiny/angry* I'm evil.

Inu-Yasha: *Not really listening or caring* Oh, good for you. Good luck with that… *Gets pancakes; eats pancakes*

Kagome: *Yawns* Morning all.

Usuke: I'm evil.

Sango: Okay, now you're just trying to get attention.

Usuke: *Pitifully* I'm lonely.

Sango: *Backs away* Good luck with that. *Gets pancakes; eats said pancakes*

Miroku: *Yawns; gropes Sango*

Sango: *Whacks; snogs*

Miroku: *Snogs back*

All else: *Rolls eyes*

Usuke: No, I really am evil! I was going to kill you all in your sleep but then I realized that you wouldn't know it was me and I wouldn't seem evil… Then I was going to kill one of you and just not wash the blood from my claws, but… ew! Then I ran out of ideas… *Hangs head in pathetic shame for lack of evil creativity*

Inu-Yasha: Okee dokee then. *Draws Tetsusaiga; kills Usuke*

Kagome: Well, that was rather anticlimactic.

Sango: *Nods*

Miroku: *Nods*

Shippo: Nyah?

Kohaku: *Eats pancakes*

Kagome: Well, I guess that's one less baddie to bash.

Sota: *Through mouthful of pancakes* Nmmrrdnkeekngfroo.

All: Nani?

Sota: *Swallows pancakes* I said, `Nmmrrdnkeekngfroo'.

All: <.< >.>

Sota: Let me translate; `No more Donkey Kong for you'.

All: *Nod* Oh…

Kagome: Let's go back. Here is boring. And math-y. *Mutters* Stupid math.

All: *Nod*

~*~

Kirasendo: *Angry/Frightened* HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!!!

Sesshomaru: *Whining/pleading* Aw, come on! One double date with me and Naraku!

Kirasendo: *Freaked* How `bout no!

Sesshomaru: I'm sure Jaken would go with you!

Kirasendo: *Barfs* EW! *Barfs again*

Sesshomaru: *Girlie-y* I know! I figured if he went on a date with someone else he'd stop stalking me…

Kirasendo: *Calmer* Is that why he never leaves you alone? He's a green Clay Aiken?

Sesshomaru: Don't even joke about that! *Dreamily* Clay Aiken can stalk me any day!

Kirasendo: *Shudders* Ew. Well, in any case, I'm not gay, nor will I ever be so leave me alone.

~*~

*Next day*

Sesshomaru: *Is mocking; is gay* TOLD YOU!

Kirasendo: *Is mocked; is gay* Shut-up!

Naraku: *Suggestively* Hey, Kirasendo… You're looking pretty fine. How's about you and me hit the bar tonight? What'd ya say?

Kirasendo: *Giggles* Sure!

Sesshomaru: *Angry* NOT ON MY WATCH! *Kills Kirasendo; huggles Naraku*

Naraku: *Gaspeths!* That reminds me! Gay Watch is on in 10!

Sesshomaru: *Snogs Naraku*

Naraku: *Snogs Sesshie*

~*~

Sango: *Snogs Miroku*

Miroku: *Snogs Sango*

Kagome: *Huggles Inu*

Inu-Yasha: *Huggles Kagome*

Ayame: *Snogs Koga*

Koga: *Snogs Ayame*

Shippo: *Is blindfolded*

Kohaku: *To Ayame; confused* When'd you get here?

Usuke: *Is dead*

~Me~ *Is just making sure*

~*~

Credits:

~ And there you have it! Deh REAL Chappie 13!! All done! Finally! I'm gonna need one big frikkin sword to get outta this one!

~ This is the second last chapter! I'm not kidding this time! I apologize for the incredible amount of fluff this chappie! I'm going a little nuts! But, enjoy!

~ Bai bai!