InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Corrupted ❯ Epilogue: Tragic ( Chapter 9 )

Epilogue: Tragic

~Five Years After Sesshoumaru's Death~

Footsteps echoed on the pavement of the road winding through the still, rolling cemetery.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

There was a short pause. The sound of water swishing could be heard. And then…

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

The sound was muffled when she diverged from the road onto a dirt path between the graves. Ever so slowly she approached the two graves. In one hand was a vase with a rose in it. The hand held a book, entitled King of The Wind. There was a slight space between page 154 and 155. The book was tightly closed, seeing inside it was impossible.

Kagome finally was standing in front of the twin graves. The stones were elaborate, each designed for the person under them. On the left, the stone was darker and square shaped. The one on the right was a lighter marble and the top was rounded. The one on the left was tilted back slightly, while the one on the right was standing straight up. The script of the names on the marble was flowing calligraphy, but totally legible. The dates were carved deeply in the stone. The inscription below that on the left one said the simple word `Later', causing laughter to bubble inside her for a short moment. The one on the right said something a little more puzzling. `I'll never be gone. I can't, because I don't belong in either place.' She puzzled over these words for many moments before she shook her head.

"Yeah, the only place you belong is here, with me." She sighed and choked back the tears. She wouldn't cry anymore, not anymore. She had done enough crying.

Slowly, she sank down in front of the two stones, thinking it ironic that two people that hated each other should be forced to rest next to each other. It was the last twist in their unlucky lives. Almost as if someone was still laughing at them, even now.

"God I miss you." She whispered, her hand lightly stroking the marble on the right. Her fingers slowly caressed the cold ruts and the dog carved into the top. She remembered seeing a picture of this same dog in his home, in the living room. The dog was posed differently; it was sitting on his haunches howling up at the crescent moon above. She could imagine the mournful howl, could hear it in the wind when she shut her eyes. A figure appeared behind her closed eyes, giving her a rare smile. Her eyes shot open.

"I wish you didn't have to go. I always told you to wear that damn seatbelt, if you had listened to me that once…" She swallowed. "I wasn't your fault, it wasn't anybody's fault. Ya know, they never figured out why the tire popped? There was no reason for it. Its like it just decided to take that moment to puncture." She shook her head slowly. "I don't understand it, but I guess its not meant to be understood."

She shifted so her legs were slightly to the side and under her. She rested her weight back on one hand. "I didn't come here just to go on about the accident. I don't need to. I don't know if you can hear me, but if it's even slightly possible, I thought I should try." Kagome turned her face up to the sky as the sun was covered in light gray clouds.

"Me and mom are doing well. I moved into the house with her, mostly because I couldn't bear to stay in the mansion. It was so empty without you." She started to play with a blade of grass, rolling it between her fingers. "It's been so long… you probably thought I abandoned you. I just… had such a hard time making myself come here. It hurts." She plucked the blade of grass and threw it aside. "I'm a detective now. I work in the same building you did, and all I can think is how you might have touched the printer, or the copy machine, or the fax machine. And then I force myself to get a grip and go back to work. The other detectives treated me differently at first, as though I was fragile and might break. They kept giving me funny looks. I guess they were just worried about me."

Her fingers ran idly over the cover of the book, tracing the picture of the horse's head that was on there. It was elaborately decorated in beads and his bridle was exquisitely made. The bridle design and the decorations were Arabic. King of the Wind, a happy ending to a hard story. Why couldn't life be that way? Why couldn't things end happily ever after?

"I've solved quite a few cases, and not been able to solve more than I can stand. How did you deal with it? When a killer goes loose because you couldn't find the evidence? Is that why you were so closed up? Is that why you pretended to be so uncaring?" She sighed. "Maybe I should find another line of work. But maybe, then again, I was meant to do this." She switched so she was leaning on her right hand instead of her left one.

"I don't know what I should say to you. I won't lie and say everything is great, because it never will be as long as your dead. I can get along, Mom needs me anyway. Should I sell the house? I don't know if I can. I took the swords and hung them above the mantle in Mom's house, I hope you don't mind. I thought you might want me to have them."

She could remember taking them down, feeling as though she was disturbing something great and old. Both swords were long, thin and rusty. Despite the careful care they had been paid, chips had formed in the blades. In curiosity, she had researched the blades and found that they had been passed down from generation to generation. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's father had given each son one sword. Sesshoumaru had always wanted the Tetsusaiga, for its history told of great battles it lead and the ones it had slain. He had been disgusted when he had received the Tenseiga instead, since its history was a fantastical one, of magical healing. For a short time, he had been the owner of both, and then Kagome had taken them. There was no other family to send them to.

"Anyway, the swords are safe at the house, both of them, together, the way they were supposed to be. Mom is quite fond of them." She smiled sadly.

"Souta was buried before you were, you know that. You were there. I take his grave flowers every month, or I try to. I've only missed it a few times in the winter when there were storms."

"The detectives try to talk to me about Naraku all the time, but I mostly ignore them. I think that a few of them actually suspected that I made the whole thing up and then killed you too. They actually questioned me about where I was when Souta was killed. They thought it was me. Of course, there was no evidence, so they gave up and eventually seemed to have forgotten it. Every once in a while they try to pry again, but I don't give them anything. One of them actually told me their theory that I killed Souta to get your help and then seduced you and was engaged to you so I could get your money. Can you believe it?" Tears burned behind her eyelids but she kept them in check. "Maybe, in a way, I did kill you. I don't know."

She sat in silence for a long time, soaking up the rays of the sun, warming her cold spirit in it. Still, the heat of the sun did nothing to lift the cold that had descended upon her five years ago. No amount of heat could ever melt the ice that coated her entire being. Nothing could touch her; she was becoming stronger. Death, killing, it was becoming easier and easier to see and accept. Maybe that was why Sesshoumaru could handle the job. He kept himself protected.

"I wish you could be here. But no amount of wishing is going to bring you back, I've realized that for a long time now. Wishful thinking doesn't help anyone. It can drive you crazy."

The stillness whisked through her again. Nothing was ever still; the wind blew her hair, the trees around her swayed with it. It sang its song as it whispered through the trees. And yet, inside, she was still, totally and completely still. She was frozen. Her heart didn't beat, her lungs didn't fill, nothing moved inside of her. She was empty and barren.

"Do you think I'll see you again? Ever? I want to believe in it, though my mind tells my no, that heaven and hell don't exist. That all that shit is nonsense. But what happens to us, if we don't go somewhere? Does our energy just go into something else? Do we just go into a dark blackness that is our end? It seems probable. It's the only logical answer, but I know logic doesn't always apply. Not after what happened with that fucking jewel. I don't know what to make of that. I know something else exists in this world because of the powers in that jewel. But what? I want to know." She sighed again. "I wish you could tell me."

Slowly she reached over and picked up the book, shifting so she was kneeling in the grass, the book in her lap. She opened it to page 154 and 155. On the page lay a rose, pressed and preserved over time. Slowly she took it out and fingered it carefully, not wanting to disfigure it in any way. Its smell had long since disappeared. Its color was darker then it had originally had been. It was flat, dry, and lifeless. Carefully she set the book aside and leaned forward to set the rose on the dirt in front of the darker stone on the left.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha." Were the only words she whispered to the left-hand grave. The dark stone seemed to glare back at her darkly, accusing. She looked away, guilt written all over her face. She knew it was her fault he had died. She had allowed him to get close to her after Naraku had warned her to keep away from him. She should have been stronger.

She sat back and stared at the grass, reliving her guilt.

After many moments she reached for the vase with the sprightly, new and beautiful rose in it. It was blood red, its leaves dark, healthy green. She lovingly laid it down in front of the other grave. "It's from the same spot that you died, love. Every year, one single rose grows there. It's marking the place you spilled your blood with its own red beauty." She gently caressed the petal of the rose, a small, sad smile gracing her tired features. She ran her fingers gently over the thorns on the rose, and then she pricked her finger on one, just enough so blood dripped down her pointer finger. She carefully smeared the blood on the petals, until her finger stopped bleeding. "This way, we will always have a connection in blood." She murmured. She stared through the beautiful rose for minute after minute.

Finally she stood, her eyes downcast. She stood over the grave of her beloved, trying to keep back the tears. She didn't want to cry. She didn't need to. Crying solved nothing.

And yet, one single tear slid down the bridge of her nose and onto the grass covering the grave. None followed its lonely descent.

Kagome turned away and began her slow, cold trek out of the cemetery. One step after another. She emerged onto the pavement of the main road through the cemetery.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Her footsteps echoed across the rolling flatness of the open graveyard, rebounded off the trees and sounded long after the footfall had taken place.

Thud. Thud.

She was leaving him behind at last.

Thud. Thud.

Her heart might never heal, she might never be right again, but she was letting go. She let go of them as she left the roses sitting on their graves. She let go of him, at long, painful last.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

She never looked back, ever. She was stronger than that.

~**~

END.