InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The curse of the dragon ❯ Enter the Good Doctor ( Chapter 51 )

~<>~ Curse of the Dragon ~<>~

 

-Okay, I know this is going to be a slightly boring chapter, for those who don't know about psychology or wish to know…but it is important to the following number of chapters, so bear with me.

 

 

~<>~ Chapter 51 ~<>~ enter the good doctor

 

 

Eleven thirty one…a half hour in and she already felt like she was suffocating. Rin fidgeted with her fingers, glancing up at the clock ever thirty seconds. Was it possible for a room to get smaller as the arrows on the clock ticked by? She cracked her knuckles and looked to her feet. Squirming, after a moment, in her wooden chair, she stretched out her legs and latched onto the armrests with her hands. She slowly rocked back and forth, eyeing the magazine racks on the wall for anything that looked of interest. `Psychology weekly…Psychological Digest…not a damn teen magazine.' She blinked once then tucked her legs under the chair and sat up a little straighter to look to the receptionist. She was an older woman…said she had worked for this Dr. Yamaoto woman for like twenty years. `That's a great fucking career…' Rin thought with a sneer. But the woman was well off…had on a nice diamond bracelet and a matching pair of earrings…nice clothes and shoes. There were tons of nice cars in the parking lot. She kicked her heels in the chair a few times, `of course they are all rich…it's a shrink's office…they pay massive money to work here.' She began drumming her nails on the end of the chair. She licked her lips and rocked slowly back and forth. `I can do this…I can go in there and talk to this complete stranger about the things that make me worry…things that I can't tell my friends…things I can't tell Sesshoumaru. I can do this…it's easy…I can…I…I…' she gulped, feeling rather nauseous for the third time in the past thirty minutes. She all but jumped up from her chair, “I can't do this.” she pushed past her chair only to feel a hand wrap around hers.

 

“Sit down Rin.”

 

The voice was demanding and yet loving. She frowned, blinking away the tears and slowly sat back down next to Sesshoumaru. She instantly began kicking the bottom of her chair again.

 

“Rin…stop fidgeting.”

 

She turned to the demon beside her and stuck her tongue out at him, not that he noticed thought. He had his nose buried in the piles of paperwork she had been too shaky to fill out. She blinked a few times then pulled her knees up onto the chair and looked over his left shoulder. Reading over the top of the paper, she paled and sat back in the chair, dropping her knees to the floor. `Declaration to allow psychiatric treatment…that sounds wonderful. Makes me sound like a nut is what it does.' she blanched further as she thought of an everyday conversation going wrong, `hi, what do you do on Thursday nights…why I go to my Psych cause apparently I'm crazy.' She let out a very deep breath and inhaled sharply. `But not only on Thursday nights…oh no…I also go Monday and Wednesdays as well. And they give me drugs…it's fun, really.' She cringed and looked to Sesshoumaru who had finished the papers and already turned them into the nurse at the counter. She blinked and looked to the counter then back at Sesshoumaru. `When did he get up? Maybe I really am missing something.' She chewed on her bottom lip until she tasted a metallic taste. She winced realizing she cut open her lip and stopped.

 

Sesshoumaru turned slowly to stare at Rin and frowned. He brought two fingers to her mouth and pressed them against her lips. “Calm down, Rin…you're just going to talk to her.”

 

Rin pulled away from his touch and wrapped her arms around her body. “Yeah, it just starts off as talking…and then I have to tell her things…and then she judges me and puts me on enough Prozac to make me Martha Fucking Stewart.”

 

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and leaned over to kiss her gently on her cheek. “She is not going to judge you Rin…you have done nothing wrong.”

 

Rin clamped her sweaty hands together and stared at the ball of flesh. “I…well…you say that now…but you'll see…I'll have enough drugs by time I'm done to open my own pharmacy!”

 

Sesshoumaru sighed again gently grasped her shoulders, “Rin, snap out of this. You act as though you are crazy. You're not…Rin…you're not crazy and you are here just to talk to someone who can listen without having to be involved.”

 

Rin snapped back, “you could have bought me a puppy for that.”

 

Sesshoumaru sighed again and ran one hand through her hair, “calm down, Rin.”

 

Rin nodded slowly then let her face slide into a mask of indifference, “I can do this…I can do this. I will walk in there and come out better. I can…I….” she gulped and turned to stare at Sesshoumaru. “I can't do this…”

 

Sesshoumaru twisted in his chair to face Rin and moved his other hand to rest on her other shoulder, “Rin you're strong…”

 

Rin continued speaking over him, “I can't…I can't do this…Sesshoumaru, I'm going to freak out in there…I can't…. please….” tears sprung to her eyes as she tried to get out of her chair. “I can't…I can't do this…let me go, I need to get out of here.”

 

Sesshoumaru winced at how quickly her voice escalated and she was now drenched in the stench of fear. He stood up as she pulled herself from his grasp and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest. “Rin, calm down…just take a deep breath and calm down…”

 

She was now near hysterics as her voice merged with sobs. “I can't…please don't make me talk about it…please…I can't…I'm not ready…I…Sesshoumaru, please…” she thrashed about in his arms, apparently trying to break his hold of her.

 

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in sheer panic as he watched Rin just about come undone at the seams as she pulled at his arms. He grit his teeth together as her sobs continued, feeling utterly helpless to do anything to stop her. With a grunt, he did the only thing he could think of, he pulled her tighter into his chest and sat back into the chair, capturing her knees in-between his thighs so she couldn't run. Grabbing her chin, he pulled her face to meet his. “Rin…” he ran the pads of his thumbs over her cheeks, ridding the stains of the fallen tears, “Rin please listen to me. Look at me…” he shook her shoulders once, “look at me Rin.”

 

Rin sniffed and attempted to wrench herself free, yet to no avail. Finally, after a heavy sigh, she lifted her water filled gray eyes to meet his. She let out a deep breath that came more like a sob. “Sesso…please…”

 

Sesshoumaru wiped away more tears as his eyes pierced hers. “I'm here…it's okay…I'm not going to let anyone hurt you anymore Rin. Look at me…damnit Rin, look at me!”

 

Rin snapped her head back to look at Sesshoumaru, staring at him like a pouting scolded child.

 

Sesshoumaru let go of her shoulders and rested both hands on her cheeks, holding her face gently leveled with his. “I love you Rin and no one is going to hurt you. You can do this…you're stronger then Naraku is…you can't let him win you over in this Rin. If you can't eventually talk about it, then you are letting him win. You're stronger! You're okay and no one is going to force you to talk about it until your ready. But you need to make an attempt! If you can't…that's fine…but you need to try. I'm going to be with you every step of the way!”

 

Rin grimaced as more tears fell down her face and looked to Sesshoumaru's nose instead of his eyes. She saw how much pain he was feeling watching her…it was as if his eyes were a mirror to her soul…what she felt she saw reflected in his golden depths. She stifled a sob and choked on the tears, coughing loudly. She wasn't sure how she ended up in his lap, but when she opened her eyes from her coughing fit, she was there. She let out a deep sigh, followed up by some more tears. “I don't like it here…can't we just please go?”

 

A soft cough alerted the two to the doctor's presence. A younger woman, probably in her early thirties, teetered in the doorway of the office, her long black hair nearly laid across her shoulders. She took a step towards them then put a hand to her ruby lips. “I can come back…if you are not ready that is.”

 

Sesshoumaru stared at the woman for a moment, his eyes reading over hers then looked down at Rin. Running a hand through her bangs, he asked carefully, “If I go with you…would that make you more comfortable?”

 

Rin nodded quickly; slowly standing up to her own two feet yet not daring to let go of his hand that she clung onto. She licked her lips slowly then turned to look at the doctor, suddenly feeling like a three year old whom someone was trying to give a shot. She chewed on her bottom lip before holding out her free hand, “hi…I'm…uhh…”

 

The psychiatrist smiled a warm grin and met her hand, “Rin Takisho…yes, I know. I'm Dr. Yamaoto. If you both would follow me please, I'll bring you to my office.”

 

Rin turned to make sure Sesshoumaru was still attached to the hand that she was holding then slowly began to follow the doctor down the empty hallway. With each step, she couldn't help the feeling that wormed through her mind. Something inside of her was telling her to turn tail and never look back. She grinded her teeth together harder, praying for that voice to go away…she knew that she needed to speak to someone, she just had to convince her conscious of that fact.

 

The three entered the doctor's office and Rin stifled her gasp. The walls were a near evergreen color, lines with a beautiful boarder of golden maple leafs. The curtains were an eggshell white color and looked to be thick cotton like material and draped like royal banners to the floor, to be held back thick golden ropes. The carpet was soft, probably new, and matched the curtains in the color. There was a giant mahogany desk sat in the far corner of the room, off set from a beautiful rustic brown leather couch and a similar colored recliner. Rin closed her eyes and took a deep breath, attempting once again to calm her nerves. There was a cabinet in the far corner of the room housing what Rin could only guess to be different types of pills for those who were mentally insane…or diluted…or crazy…or…like her. She winced at the last thought and downcast her eyes to the floor; taking deep breaths and counting backwards from twenty, she attempted to gain control over her rapidly beating heart.

 

Dr. Yamaoto pointed towards two chairs by the desk and the three traveled there. Sesshoumaru pulled out Rin's chair and had to help guide her to sit. He cringed at the knowledge that she still wanted to turn and run from it all. `She's scared…she doesn't want to remember anything that he has done…and she thinks that is what she is going to have to do. She thinks she'll have to relive it.' he grimaced and took his own seat, never taking his hand out of Rin's for a moment.

 

The doctor walked around the desk and plopped down into a big black expensive looking office chair and folded her hands, giving the two a dazzling smile. “Well…I want to start by introducing myself and getting to know you both a little better.” her eyes flashed to Rin and the smile fell away from her face and was replaced by a look of sympathy and slight unease. “Honey, you're shaking…do you want an aspirin, it could help calm your nerves.”

 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and looked to Rin who was waiting for him to answer for her. He gave her hand a squeeze and met her inquisitive stare, “Rin…do you wish for something to help you calm down?”

 

Rin wanted to be strong…she wanted to tell the doctor to take her medicine and stuff it…that she wasn't one of the psycho's that walked around talking to walls or camels or both. Finding no answer on Sesshoumaru's face, she looked to the desk and nodded wordlessly.

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled and went into her desk draw. Taking out a bottle of aspirin from her bottom desk draw, she took out one pill and handed it to the girl. “Give me one moment to fetch you some water. I don't want you choking on that pill now.” she patted Rin on the shoulders and she walked around the desk and to the water cooler in the hallway. Returning quickly, she gave Rin the cup and let her take the pill. She smiled as Rin swallowed and took the cup from her to throw in the trashcan under her desk. “That should help calm you down in a little bit. In the mean time, why don't you tell me about yourself.”

 

Once again Rin turned to look at Sesshoumaru, begging for him to help her. She could feel her heart beat beginning to quicken again and started taking a few deep breaths. “I…”

 

Sesshoumaru turned to look at Rin and stroked her cheek with the back of two knuckles; “just tell her about yourself…about school…about your car, anything.”

 

Rin pulled away from Sesshoumaru's touch and met the doctors aqua gaze before looking down to the desk. Never in her life had she been so nervous. `If I answer a question wrong…am I going to end up in a psych ward creeping around? Will they commit me if they know I keep seeing him everywhere I go?' she took another deep breath and sighed, “well…I moved to Tokyo about two years ago…that's when…” she bit her lip and looked to Sesshoumaru.

 

Dr. Yamaoto, picking up the distress the girl was falling into, quickly commented, “Where did you live before Tokyo?”

 

Rin looked back and shifted in her seat, “well…me and my dad lived in Kyoto for most of my life…we were in Kyushu for a small time when I was younger and we actually were in Hong Kong for a year when I was about eight.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled graciously and leaned forward to rest her hands on the desk. “How was it there…in Hong Kong? That is one place I've never been.”

 

Rin nervously smiled and flashed a glance to Sesshoumaru, who only squeezed her hand, “I…err…that is me and my dad…” her eyes flashed with a sudden pang and she shifted her weight again to rest her back against the backrest of the chair, “I enjoyed it, really. The city was full of bright lights and tons of people. It's a lot like Tokyo, in some aspects, I guess. There were so many different nationalities there…it was really quite the experience. I didn't know much Chinese though, so that was a slight problem. I got to learn English though pretty well, I have to say that. I practiced since then working on the language and I think I've become pretty fluent in it.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded enthusiastically, “that's great, to know English I mean. I'm pretty fluent in it just because I do a lot of traveling between here and the states. I used to go to school out there but that was a while ago. I have done some lectures over in America, mostly in California and New York for college students and for The American Psychological foundation.”

 

Rin smiled and sighed quietly. She could feel her heart beat beginning to return to her normal rate and was relieved that the panic attack had subsided. She gave Sesshoumaru a hint of a smile and stopped squeezing his hand to a point of a death grip. “That's great, really. I can't say that I've really been over to America. I was there once, but I was really young so I can't remember.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded and flipped her black hair over her shoulder and turned to look at Sesshoumaru. “Are you two…engaged?”

 

Sesshoumaru blinked and Rin blanched. Rin quickly answered for the demon, “No…though he is the love of my life, no we're not.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded once and responded coolly, “I see.”

 

Rin grimaced and looked at Sesshoumaru who was staring at the good doctor. Rin cleared her throat and swayed slightly in her chair, trying to figure out what to say. “So…how long have you been a doctor?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto looked to Rin and gave her a smile, “well…I started studying Psychology when I was in high school here in Tokyo…and fell in love with the subject. I took it up in secondary school and decided to pursue it as far as I could. When I was in my second year of university, my roommate was raped by a couple older boys on campus…a couple jocks.” She noticed how Rin flinched at the word rape and immediately looked to Sesshoumaru. The doctor contained her sigh and carefully continued, “I decided to go into the branch of psychological counseling when I saw what the rape did to her. She never went to get help…she would never talk about it…hell, she didn't even report it. She dropped out the following semester because it became too much for her to bear. About a year ago I finally convinced her to start coming in to talk to me and after ten years of her being afraid to go outside, she's beginning to function like a normal human being again.” She smiled at Rin held both of her hands in front of her, “I saw what it did to her and I didn't want to…no…I couldn't see that happening to anyone else so I graduated from university with my bachelors in Psychology. I then went to the United States and got my doctorates in Psychiatry from the Harvard Medical School.” She pointed to a framed diploma as well as certification certificates that were mounted on her walls…more so for Sesshoumaru to take a hard glance at.

 

Rin nodded slowly, beginning to wind down from all the prior excitement. `This isn't so bad…as long as she doesn't ask me a damn thing about him, I'll be good.' She looked around the office then slightly blushed, “I really like the color scheme in here…did you decorate this yourself?”

 

The woman laughed and shook her head lethargically, “no…not at all. I wish I could be this color coordinated…then I could wear other colors then just purple and black,” she laughed while pulling lightly at the corner of her cashmere sweater. She gave Rin another comforting smile before leaning forward, “now, Rin…you are a high school student?”

 

Rin nodded slowly, letting her lips fall into a thin line, “yeah…I'm a junior at Takahashi high.”

 

The Psych smiled and looked rather impressed, “that is a good school.”

 

Sesshoumaru looked at the woman out of the corner of his eyes while staring at the plaques carefully, “it lacks in security.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto raised one thin eyebrow and pouted, “I'm sure not all schools can afford to have the best…”

 

Sesshoumaru quickly beat her to the end of her sentence, “and yet with the outrageous amount of tuition that we pay…I would have thought it more carefully construed. They have gaps that need to be accounted for.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded slowly, her eyes running over Sesshoumaru's profile, “are you a student as well?”

 

Sesshoumaru slowly turned his head to look at the doctor, his eyes cold and his stoic barrier holding strong. “I am.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto brought a finger to tap on the end of her nose for a moment before carefully asking, “and yet you have signed off on Rin's paper work as her emergency contact?”

 

Sesshoumaru scowled and attempted to cross his arms, only to find his one hand still in occupation of being held by Rin. He looked to the young girl and sighed briefly before looking back at the doctor. “Her father is no longer involved in her life…therefore she is living with me.”

 

“Hmm…is that so? Is Rin emancipated?”

 

Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow and added dully, “yes.”

 

The doctor creased her eyebrows then slowly shook her head. “Never mind that.” she slowly stood and clasp her hands in front of her body. “Okay…if you both don't have any questions for me, what I would like to do is to speak with Rin alone.”

 

Rin's eyes flared as she shot an inquisitive glare to Sesshoumaru, almost begging him not to go. She swallowed hard; unable to work herself back up into the tizzy she had been in a half hour earlier, yet still as mentally ill prepared as she had been to step away from Sesshoumaru.

 

Sesshoumaru slowly stood from his chair and looked to Rin. Seeing her near pleading stare he frowned, “she does not wish for me to leave.”

 

The doctor smiled and put her hand on Rin's shoulder. “It's okay, Rin…I won't force you to talk about anything you don't wish to speak of. Just tell me to drop it or to mind my own business, okay?” she asked with a hint of laugher to her voice. She was trying to settle the young girl's nerves while keeping on her good side. There was little more then a sedative that she could offer the poor shell-shocked child to calm her nerves and didn't wish to induce her to get her to talk.

 

Sesshoumaru growled in a hushed tone, his warning flailing about the room. If Rin did not wish to be alone with the doctor, then she would not be, and neither heaven nor high water would stand in his way of getting her what she wanted.

 

The doctor smiled again and looked to Sesshoumaru. Her eyes implored him to go along with what she was saying. “It won't be that long and like I said, I will not force you to speak of anything you do not wish to.” to the older demon, she mouthed the word, “please”.

 

Sesshoumaru blinked and hardly contained the scoff that built in the back of his throat. `if Rin is okay with me leaving, then I shall…this wench has no power of authority to order me away.'

 

Rin glanced from the doctor then to Sesshoumaru then back again before slowly taking her hand from Sesshoumaru. She swallowed hard and turned to look at him.

 

Sesshoumaru offered her a reassuring nod with a very brief smile attached. “I will be right outside the door if you need me.”

 

Rin stared up at him through her bangs and asked quietly, “promise?”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded then gave a hard stare to the psychiatrist before walking from the office, closing the door behind him.

 

Only after the door was shut did the doctor turn back to Rin. Keeping the same smile on her face she led the young girl to the couch. Dr. Yamaoto sat in the smaller recliner while Rin sat on the couch, staring intently at her feet. Dr. Yamaoto pulled a notebook from the corner of the couch and put it in her lap. “I want to tell you how we are going to work this, Rin. Like I promised your boyfriend, I am not going to force you into speaking about anything you don't want to. This notebook is just for me to keep a journal entry of some important things that you say…or things that I think are important. I don't want you to think I'm judging you or writing anything against you. If you ever want to look over my notes, all you have to do is ask. Okay?”

 

Rin looked up to the doctor and nodded briefly. “I guess.”

 

The doctor smiled again and tapped her heel to the floor. “So…how long have you and Mr. tall, dark, and handsome been dating?”

 

Rin blushed and looked up to the doctor, looking through the doctor's blue eyes to see a hint to what she was getting at. “Uh…we actually just met, really.”

 

The doctor was obviously taken back and did a double take at the girl, “are you serious?” she laughed lowly and put her hand to her lips, “that's amazing. You two seem like you've been together for years. I'm not even that close with my husband.” She laughed again and only then did Rin catch sight of the carrot diamond on her left finger.

 

Rin shrugged and blushed. “He's great, really…he is. It's weird to say we've only known each other for a month…let alone been together for that long. But it was kind of instant…you know? Like a fairy tale come true.”

 

The doctor laughed again and nodded with Rin, “you can say that again. They don't make many men like him. He seems awfully protective of you though.”

 

Rin shrugged, her blush darkening. “He is. I mean, I don't question it at all. I love him…with all of my heart.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips; “you can say that after only knowing him for a month? That must be very deep.”

 

Rin laughed and held up her hands, sitting back onto the brown material more comfortably, “it is…it really is. I've never felt this way about anyone before in my life. I know I'm only seventeen but the way he makes me feel…I can't even begin to describe it. I love him so much that it hurts to be apart, even if only by twenty feet.” She glanced at the door and sighed lowly.

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled and patted Rin's knee. “That's wonderful. I hardly know any couples like that. You two must have a very strong bond. How did you meet?”

 

Rin paused, and took a deep breath. “I was working…at a bar …and he kind of showed up there. First arrogant customer of the night…but with those eyes…I couldn't get him out of my mind. The following Monday I saw him in school and we started talking. We were kind of in different crowds but his younger brother fell for my best friend and followed her everywhere like a puppy. And hanging out with them I ended up with him.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded slowly, “I see. How do your friends like him?”

 

Rin shrugged and looked to her nails, “well…as I'm sure you picked up on…he's got a rather…gruff…outer shell. He doesn't trust people to easy or for that matter let that many people into his personal life. I got lucky…I still don't know how to this day but I did. My friends see him as kind of cold and harsh but they also see how much he loves me.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto raised both eyebrows and nodded. “That's good. When your friends like your beau, it's always so much easier to get along.”

 

Rin nodded slowly, “you can say that again. I dated one guy about a year who both of my two close friends hated…mostly because he chased after Kagome…one of my close friends…all the time. I never caught him doing it directly but towards the end of our relationship, he was basically breathing down her neck.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto sighed and gave Rin an apologetic stare, “I'm sorry…men can be dogs and boys are worse.”

 

Rin blanched at the dog's analogy then laughed lightly. `She has no idea.'

Dr. Yamaoto tapped her pen against the notebook after scribbling down some information. “Your beau…what was his name?”

 

Rin creased her eyebrows at the term until the doctor pointed her pen towards the door. “oh, Sesshoumaru?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded, “that was it. Now, Sesshoumaru, he has a younger brother you said?”

 

Rin laughed and shook her head slowly, “boy does he. That would be InuYasha.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto annotated another note before looking back to Rin, “and is he as stoic as Sesshoumaru?”

 

Rin's eyes widened and she laughed louder, “no, not at all. He's…well…nothing like his brother really. I mean, they both have nasty tempers and violent streaks but besides for that…” she blanched again and bit her lip, “not that they are violent…they could be if they wanted to be, but they aren't, cause they wouldn't…” she cringed, finally pausing from stumbling over her words. She sighed and looked up at the doctor, “they are both really good guys. They really are.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto stared at Rin for a moment then placed her pen in her lap. She leaned forward slightly and met Rin's eyes. “Have you ever seen Sesshoumaru lose his temper?”

 

Rin held in the laugh that was building in her stomach. `Have I ever!' “Umm…” Images flashed through Rin's mind at the speed of light. She saw InuYasha impaled on his brother's sword… Naraku flying across the library room…InuYasha face down on the ground after insulting Rin or Sesshoumaru…. Miroku put back in line by a simple growl…Sesshoumaru at the morgue…. “Not really, no.”

 

The doctor stared at Rin for a moment and carefully asked, “Has he ever hit you?”

 

Rin paled and sat up straight, her eyes widen to their fullest extent, “never. Sesshoumaru would die before lying a hand on me.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto seemed pleased with the response and recoiled slowly, “have you ever seen him lay a hand on someone who hurt you?”

 

Rin paused and looked to the ground. “I…”

 

Dr. Yamaoto gave her a warm smile and touched her knee again; “it's okay…I'm not looking to get him into trouble. I'm just curious.”

 

Rin grit her teeth and went against her better knowledge, “once…or twice. That was really it though.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded slowly, “and how had they hurt you?”

 

Rin paused, color draining from her face and looked to the carpet, tears instantly welling in her eyes. “I really don't want to talk about it.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled comfortingly and nodded, “that's fine. Like I said Rin, today there is no pressure to talk. I can't promise it will always be that easy but we will take it slow. Okay?”

 

Rin nodded but didn't look up from the floor.

 

Dr. Yamaoto tapped her foot against her chair and commented, “So…then…why don't you tell me about your dreams.”

 

Rin looked up and paused. Her dreams…last night she hadn't slept much, and when she did…she just kept seeing the bathroom incident play over and over. Seeing Sesshoumaru in the morning had been difficult, but when he took her into his arms at the breakfast table and simply held her on his lap without a word, she knew that they were okay, but her dreams? She shuffled her feet and muttered, “well…I…I really can't say much about them. I haven't been sleeping to good lately.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded sternly, “and why do you think you haven't been sleeping good?”

 

Rin sighed and shrugged, “it kind of all relates back into the mixture of things that I'm not ready to talk about.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto pursed her lips, “I see. Rin, I do need to ask you two questions that I need for you to answer me. I don't want you to go into detail, just a simple yet or no answer will suffice. Do you think you can do that?”

 

Rin took a deep breath, closing her eyes and very slowly nodded. She didn't want to say yes…she wanted to run out the door but she knew that eventually she would need to talk to someone. Why not begin building a bridge she could stand on first before jumping off of it. “O…kay.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto took a rather deep breath and put her pad of paper aside. Scooting forward, she placed both of her hands on Rin's jean clad knees. “Rin…what you don't wish to talk about is why you're here, you know that, right?” Rin nodded absently. The doctor smiled and gave her knees a squeeze, “okay. What I need for you to first answer is this. I know it's going to hurt to think about and you don't even need to vocally answer me if you don't wish to, just nod your head yes or no. Are you ready?”

 

Rin rolled her eyes at the question, already having a good feeling about what one was. `Am I ready? No…will I ever be? Probably not…but do I have a choice?' meekly, she answered back, “doesn't my…” she frowned and nodded towards the doctors desk where there was a pile of paperwork that Sesshoumaru had filled out for her, “…charts…tell you what you need to know?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto frowned and blinked a few times, “they do, Rin…but I need to hear it from you.” Seeing the girl's obvious discomfort, she leaned forward and gently whispered, “They say that once you can admit that something happened…you can begin to seek help to get over it. Admitting is the key factor here Rin, and that is what I need to ask of you.”

 

Rin gulped again and stared intently on the floor before slowly nodding, nonverbally telling the doctor to proceed.

 

Dr. Yamaoto looked Rin in the eye and asked quietly, “Rin…were you raped?”

 

Rin swallowed the sudden dry lump in her throat as her eyes glazed over in forced away memories. They were images that she tired to forget, that she begged herself to forget; things that she locked inside of that damn closet in her mind. Clenching her jaw as tight as she could, she forced herself to nod yes.

 

The doctor sighed sadly and reached up to grab Rin's hand. Trying to catch Rin's eyes that were now staring intently on the floor in obvious pain, she added, “Rin, I know it must have been a horrible experience for you…one that I am sure you don't want to talk about. I'm not going to force you to speak about the time…”

 

“Times.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto paused and blinked slowly. Rin slowly raised her head to look at the doctor, a blank stare of a forced emotionless stature stared out from her eyes to the good doctor. Dr. Yamaoto cringed and squeezed Rin's hand. “That was my next question. So it did happen more then once?”

 

Rin snapped back a little venomously, “yeah, a lot more then once. Over six months…figure once every other day, sometimes twice on the weekend…you do the fucking math.”

 

The doctor nodded and offered her a sad frown. “I understand the pain Rin…I understand that you're hurting and you don't know why it happened. What you need to know though is that I am here to help you. I'm going to help you get through it along with the man in the lobby who loves you with all of his heart.”

 

Rin blinked away her momentary stoic façade and sighed before the tears spilled over her lashes. She sniffed once and nodded quickly, unable to form words.

 

The doctor smiled and patted Rin's knee once more before sitting back. “I think we've talked enough for today, what do you think?”

 

Rin began to nod then stopped. She fought with herself for a moment, gathering up the courage to ask her a simple question. “I…I was wondering…hoping more…you could tell me something.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded slowly, turning her full attention to the broken girl on her couch. “Yes Rin?”

 

“I…that is…well…” she blinked away the rapidly falling tears and forced out, “am I crazy for seeing that son of a bitch everywhere I go?” she slapped a hand to her mouth immediately afterwards and looked past the doctor and over to the desk, not daring to meet her stare.

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled despondently and calmly answered, “no Rin…you are not crazy for that. It happens more often then you would be to think, honestly. It is a common trait for most rape victims to see their attacker on the faces of friends or of strangers.”

 

Rin blanched and returned her gaze to the doctor, “so…I'm not crazy for that?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto placed a hand on Rin's shoulder and switched over to sit next to the girl. “No Rin…you're not crazy in the least bit about that.”

 

Rin kicked her feet out and crossed her legs at her heels. “How do I make it stop?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto frowned and squeezed Rin's shoulder. “Well…to start…you need to come to terms with what has happened, which is what I am here to help you with. After that, you need to slowly decide for yourself what you are comfortable with and what you are not. I do not encourage you to change your daily habits with your friends or your love life. I can only imagine for a girl at your age and for what you have gone through that being intimate with Sesshoumaru would be harder for you.”

 

Rin blushed and nodded slowly. “We…when we…we almost…and I saw…I thought I saw…but it wasn't….” she sighed and dropped her head into her hands.

 

Dr. Yamaoto sighed then nodded, “that is also a hard thing for rape victims to get over. Becoming intimate again with someone you love when the trauma has been taken from your life can be hard. I'm not suggesting that you stop all together but only when you feel that you are ready do I suggest that you attempt it. Any sooner and you could serious hurt yourself mentally.”

 

Rin scowled and peaked out through the corner of her hand, “to late for that.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled and stood from the couch, “you're going to be okay, Rin, I promise.”

 

Rin stood slowly behind the woman and nodded. “I guess…well…I hope.” She laughed lowly and rubbed her foot into the carpet. “Are you sure I'm not crazy?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto laughed with the girl and patted her shoulder, “I'm positive. Now, I'm going to ask you to sit in the waiting room while I talk to Sesshoumaru for only a moment.”

 

Rin's eyes flashed with a brief panic before she carefully asked, “why?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto ushered Rin towards the door while answering, “normally I would ask to speak to your parent, but since he is who you live with, there are a few things I wish to speak to him about.”

 

Rin paused mid step and swung around, slight anger pulling at her words, “anything about me that needs to be said…you can tell me to my face. He doesn't need to know.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto reached around Rin and opened the door, “it's okay Rin, and it's nothing bad. But I need to insist that I speak with him alone.”

 

Rin scowled and stared at the woman for a long moment before turning on her heels and storming from the office. She walked into the waiting room and leaned on the doorway, staring at Sesshoumaru who was reading a psychology magazine. Rin sighed once and taped her foot.

 

Sesshoumaru looked over the top of the magazine and blinked slowly. With a sigh, he deposited the magazine to the side and stood to greet the girl in the doorway. `I knew she wouldn't like this part.' He studied her face for a long moment before kissing the tip of her nose. “I'll be right back. Just sit down and don't get into trouble.”

 

Rin blinked and looked from Sesshoumaru to the office down the hallway. “How did you know…?”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded towards the ladies at the desk, “they informed me.”

 

Rin opened her mouth to respond then snapped it shut. She frowned as he walked towards the doorway and crossed her arms. She didn't like being left out of things…especially of this magnitude. She rolled her eyes when the door shut behind her lover and dropped into the first available chair.

 

~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~

 

Sesshoumaru took a seat at the doctor's desk, staring blankly at the doctor who was scribbling something onto a medicinal note. He blinked slowly when he realized it was a prescription for Rin. “What did you wish to speak about?”

 

The doctor looked up and gave him a small smile. “Rin is a wonderful girl. Very delightful.”

 

“Get to your point.”

 

The doctor seemed slightly taken back and a very quick surge of anger passed through her aqua eyes. She flipped her hair out of her eyes and frowned. “Indeed. Sesshoumaru…Rin is suffering from what seems to me to be a serious depression over the incident. I want to say that it is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but to medically diagnose her with that she would have needed to show the symptoms for over a month's time. So for the record, it is sever depression…off the record though…” she paused and flipped open her note book. “To me, it seems like she is suffering from a branch of the disorder that is labeled Intrusion. Basically Intrusion Post Traumatic Stress disorder are memories that can occur unexpectedly, and can be very vivid images that can be accompanied by painful emotions that can take over the her attitude. Sometimes it can get as bas as that she would be feeling like she is experiencing it again or seeing in happen again in front of her eyes or in nightmares*. I can't really go into much detail about it with you but what I want to do, when Rin is ready which will hopefully be in the next three or so sessions, is to indulge in some Desensitization Exposure Therapy…also known as Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. What I would do is get Rin to examine, over time, her personal values and how the behavior and experience of the attack affected her. I want to get her to a point where she isn't afraid to talk about it or for that matter, reduced to a near panic attack when thinking about talking about it. She's suffering…Sesshoumaru…and it is bad but you got her here in time.”

 

Sesshoumaru stared at the woman for a long moment before sighing and drumming one set of claws on her desk. “What can I do?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto cringed and folded her hands together on the desk. “Well…for starters, just be there for her. Listen when she is willing to talk and don't interrupt or dissuade her from talking about it. Let her come to you about it though. Don't keep her from what she used to do…encourage her to hang out with her friends, anything like that. Get her involved in school functions if you can.” She tapped her pen on the desk, wondering exactly how to go about the other topic, “Sesshoumaru…Rin spoke of the incident that occurred I'm going to guess rather recently where you two found yourselves in an intimate position…”

 

Sesshoumaru's nostrils flared as he struggled to keep his clam. He knew that Rin would need to speak to the doctor about those types of things but to bring it up to him? He fought the urge to slash through her desk with a flip of his hand and swallowed hard. “What of it?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto cleared her throat and added dryly, “not that I am not encouraging you to be active with her in that fashion, but once again, allow her to come to you. Do not pressure her into any arousing situations and if at all possible, avoid them. To tell her this would really affect her, I do believe, so I ask that what we have said here today to be kept confidential.” She ripped the top prescription off of her pad and handed it to him. “This is a prescription for Paxil. It should help her with the depression that she has been feeling and this other is for Xanax, which is another one that she should take as well. They will both help her out…Xanax is more to help control her panic attacks and settle down her nerves.”

 

Sesshoumaru carefully took the prescriptions and looked them over very carefully. After a moment, he looked back to the Psychiatrist. “Does she truly need this much medication? Are these not both tranquilizers?”

 

The doctor shook her head, “no, Xanax is but the Paxil falls under a different category.” She stood slowly and looked down to the Youkai. “I understand your hesitance to get her started on such strong medication but after seeing what I did in the waiting room as well as in here, I believe this is the best course of action for the present time.”

 

Sesshoumaru stood as well and looked down to the doctor, towering over her by a good foot. He wanted to argue…he wanted to tell the bitch to go to hell with drugging Rin up but something inside of him argued that if it was for her best…. He turned on his heels, shoving the prescriptions into his jean pockets and called back, “when shall I bring her back to meet with you?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto scowled and responded, “Friday at twelve thirty. Get her started on those tonight…the directions will be on the box.”

 

Sesshoumaru didn't respond as he walked out to the waiting room and held out his hand to Rin. She seemed so lost, sitting there by herself in the giant room. She jumped at his sudden action then smiled and took his hand. Resting her head on his shoulder, she pleaded, “Take me home.” Sesshoumaru nodded firmly and walked from the office with Rin, not daring to look back over his shoulder towards the building. He hated that he couldn't help her…he hated more the fact though that he couldn't sit with her in the meetings. He understood why but didn't like it nor appreciated it. In fact, it just pissed him off.

 

Rin blinked as she settled into her Porsche's passenger seat. She rested her head against the cool glass of the window and closed her eyes. Maybe it was her imagination…maybe it was the Advil that was working its way through her system, or maybe it was just wishful thinking, but something inside of Rin felt…better…freer. She felt like a small part of the weight that had been digging into her back over the past weeks was finally starting to be chipped away, and the thought made her smile. Maybe…just maybe…things would get better.

 

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

 

Dr. Yamaoto watched the expensive silver car dart out of the parking lot with the reckless Youkai behind the wheel wishing to be rid of the office for good. The doctor rolled her eyes and pulled out her notes from the session with Rin. She pulled out another notebook and transferred her basic thoughts…the basic elements of the conversation and the names she already knew into the other notebook then wrote down deeper thoughts…deeper observations. She kept her aqua eyes narrowed as she read over the words then let a small glimmer of a smile dance across her pale face as she closed the book. Yes…Rin was going to be an interesting case to work with. It was not everyday that the possible heiress to one of the wealthiest sons in all of Tokyo walked into her office, and Sesshoumaru Tashio was no exception. His young girl…the one who had managed to put Naraku Onigumo behind bars…was a spitfire to say the least. She could see it in her eyes…behind all the walls she had put up…the girl had spunk and maybe that would be good for the lord Dog's son. She rolled her eyes as she filed the notebook into the bottom of her desk, and then locked it tight before sitting back. Yes…Rin would be quite the patient.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*

 

-like I said, I know it was long and boring and filled with medical…stuff…but important points been made….

 

-all medical dictation (definition about the disease) has been borrowed from www.medem.com . I'm not a psychologist…I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm an English major (scary, I know) but I have taken enough Psych classes to get the gist. I know this is a blanket disclaimer but for those who are even remotely thinking about it, I threw this together. DO NOT actually use any of the things I do in my writing to try to help a friend, please. I know that is a baka thing to say but I have to state it.