InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Daimyo's Lover ❯ Daimyo's Lover 07 ( Chapter 7 )

Daimyo's Lover 07

 

 

He awoke suddenly, silently. He did not remember where he was and for a long moment, Inutaisho was forced to concentrate on not reacting to his circumstances as a threat. He heard a muffled snort and his nose took over from there, identifying the source. The girl. Of course.

 

Inutaisho yawned and started to wiggle his way out of her bed. Not the way he was accustomed to leaving a maiden's presence after sleeping at her side, but then again, he couldn't recall the last time he'd actually slept with a female without having sex with her.

 

A strange day all around, he decided, shaking out his long white fur. The girl Izayoi slept soundly from what he could tell, only a soft murmur and the clutch of her fingers in his fur indicated her unconscious mind knew of his departure. If he'd been wearing his usual face, he would have smiled gently at her trusting hand that searched for him.

 

Of course, if he'd been wearing his usual face, the girl would have had a surprise when she found him.

 

As it was, he shook his head at his strange luck in bedding down with a human in such a way. The moonlight shown through the open window of her room and fell across her face in radiance, outlining pale skin and deep shadows in the bedclothes. Almost he regretted the necessity of leaving her, leaving behind the simple peace of being no more than a dog. It couldn't be helped, he had responsibilities that he couldn't ignore and she had her human existence to lead.

 

He wondered what she would have thought if she'd known she'd just shared her bed with a demon.

 

The night wind was calling to him, urging him on with an instinct he couldn't deny. It was time for him to leave. One paw worked quickly at the catch of the door, leading him outside to what he assumed was the girl's private garden. He looked around, grinning to himself when he approached the wall that blocked his way to the forest. It was nothing, an easy gather of strength in the formidable hindquarters and he was over the wall.

 

And running. Oh gods, how he loved to run like this. As his paws fell hard upon the ground, Inutaisho exulted in the release and freedom running gave him, allowing his form to grow and swell. It was very few youkai that could control their form as he could, very few that could even take a different form at all. Inutaisho could alter his size down to the large dog that had rescued the human girl or let it expand with his youki and become taller than the trees.

 

Over an open plain, this was the swiftest way to travel and he was so fast that anyone who caught sight of his massive shape would think that he was a vision or a god. He was neither, he was a youkai and that was enough for him.

 

One thing about his form's largest size, it really wasn't practical. You couldn't lead armies when you were an oversized giant dog; the size of him was really no good for anything unless he met an enemy of equal size. Then there would be a battle, a horrendous physical battle.

 

He'd only encountered a few foes that he would choose to face in this shape and he had no desire to meet them again. Dragon youkai were hell to deal with.

 

As the moon rose through the sky, the demon ran on, his legs stretched as he traveled in mighty leaps and bounds, his paws rarely touching the earth until he caught sight of the mountains that bordered his own territory. Inutaisho slowed, letting himself drop back into a more normal sized creature before assuming his usual appearance.

 

There was a secret way into the mountains, one that didn't involve traveling the blasted narrow pass that his soldiers guarded carefully. He rather liked that; the only other person he'd ever told about the secret way was Sesshomaru. Whether or not his son had ever made use of it, he himself didn't know. But they were the only two that knew its location and more importantly, how to use it.

 

Inutaisho walked until he found a rocky, steep crevice that was nearly hidden by overgrown vines and foliage. With a faint smile, he slipped into it and followed it until he was completely enveloped in darkness. He laid his palm against the rocky surface and concentrated briefly, feeling his youki filling the enclosed space. Then he turned back the way he had come and walked out again. He was on the other side of the mountains now and moonlight bathed the peaceful valley with a silver radiance that made his hair and eyes glitter.

 

The demon lord sighed at the sight, feeling at ease now that he was at home in his own territory. Of course, his territory was considerably vaster than just this secluded valley, but this was what he thought of as home. The sight of the moon rising over the mountaintops, the way the light glittered on the surface of the lake, all brought back memories, not all pleasant, but familiar just the same. Inutaisho inhaled deeply, catching the faint scent of wildflowers and smiled at the stars.

 

Something pinched him, right behind his ear and he yipped out of sheer surprise. He brought his hand up swiftly and slapped the back of his neck. Angry, he looked at his palm, seeing a small, slightly squashed body lying there where none should be.

 

The lord of the dogs growled low in his throat. "Explain yourself, flea demon!"

 

The small form shook in fear. "I apologize, my lord. Please forgive me and spare a hungry old flea his life."

 

Inutaisho snorted at the craven appeal for mercy. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

 

The flea looked up at him and then bowed as deeply as his short legs would allow. "Again, I apologize. I didn't know that you were inuyoukai when I first saw you. I should have known, no ordinary dog could have blood so tasty and rich as yours."

 

"I should hope not," Inutaisho said humorously. So he was correct, he had picked up a flea from the humans. He just hadn't known it was more than a flea, any more than the flea had known he was more than a dog. "What do they call you, flea demon?"

 

"I am Myouga, my lord," the flea said respectfully. The flea was still a bit confused, he had gone to sleep, warm and full, on the back of a longhaired dog and awoken to find himself with an inuyoukai warrior. Dazed, he had bitten the demon to be sure of his identity and now cursed his lapse of judgment. Inuyoukai despised flea demons; it was an insult to be fed upon by a lower youkai, especially one that was considered to be a nuisance.

 

He stared up anxiously at a pair of golden eyes and noted the pale hair that fell over the larger demon's shoulder. Surprisingly, the dog didn't seem inclined to kill him on the spot. Could his luck have turned at last? "Might a lowly flea know your name, great lord?"

 

"Inutaisho," the youkai rumbled.

 

Myouga hurriedly pressed his face into the hard palm. Holy of the holiest, he had just been snacking on the lord of the West himself! Sure of his immediate demise, he barely had the breath to squeak out a plea for mercy. "Please don't kill me, lord!"

 

Well, what could he do? It was beneath him to destroy a creature that had simply latched onto him out of natural need. There was no insult intended and none taken. No damage done, he certainly wasn't going to suffer from a few drops of blood taken.

 

"I will spare you," he said in amusement. "I'm not in a killing mood at the moment. I take it that I acquired your presence among the humans?"

 

Myouga nodded. "Yes, my lord. The lord of that estate keeps a nice kennel of hunting dogs. I found myself in need of a warm place last winter and have stayed with them since."

 

"So you've been with those humans since last winter," Inutaisho mused. He couldn't help it, he was curious to learn more about the girl and her family. And there was no harm in hearing it, even if he had no intentions of returning. Smiling, he flicked the flea into his hair and resumed his quick pace back to his fortress.

 

"In exchange for your life, Myouga the flea, you will tell me everything you know about that young girl, Izayoi."

 

"My service is yours, great lord," the flea said gratefully, settling down to ride just over the youkai's right ear. "I will gladly tell you everything I know."

 

oOo

 

On the third night, it started to rain. I didn't move when the thunder broke the sky overhead, I didn't twitch when the first fat droplets fell. I could have moved a little farther back into the ruin; instead I kept sitting right where I was. Right where I'd been sitting for the last three days.

 

Lightning shot across the sky, splitting the air with its angry light and I did nothing, just watching the reflection of it against the choppy water of the lake. I didn't want to go back, but if I didn't, Inoki would pay for it. So I sat in my despair and hated myself for everything I was becoming. I wished my mother had taken me with her, the last time she climbed those stairs to stare longingly at the empty sky.

 

I fantasized about it, how her warm arms would have wrapped around me, the slow beat of her heart thudding in my ears. Together we'd gaze at the freedom of a starless night and wish for his death.

 

Being denied that, we'd have to make do with our own. She'd cuddle me tight to her chest as she stepped to the edge, the wind blowing her robes around her and making her long hair dance. I'd close my eyes, safe and secure in her arms for our last moments.

 

We'd wait for that last second when her resolve hardened and became something other than fear and horror. She'd kiss me on my forehead, one last kiss as I imagined she must have done as I slept that night. Then...just step over the side of the tower, let the fates take hold of our bodies and our souls offered up to freedom.

 

We'd go some place where he couldn't hurt either of us, some place far beyond his reach. I wonder if my father would have pursued us in death, if he might have taken his own life to prove to her that she wouldn't win, couldn't escape. That he'd follow us to the very darkest depths of hell to punish us one last time, find some way to make even the dead fear him. As she had. As I had.

 

I sighed heavily and let my chin drop to my chest, the warm summer rain pouring over my head. I was hungry, but I'd already informed my traitorous stomach that it was not in charge. I didn't want to eat; it made me want to retch even as my belly grumbled angrily.

 

Maybe someday I could eat again, maybe someday I'd even forget the sounds of Hashiro's screaming. I could live with what had happened, but the simple fact that I could move past it terrified me. Each atrocity I was forced into would make me more immune, more hard and cold on the inside. More full of hate and contempt for what was weaker than me.

 

That wasn't what I'd promised my mother.

 

If I ran away, Inoki would be punished. If I killed myself, I'd condemn my little brother to facing that monster's wrath alone. I couldn't do that. My best option, I reflected, was to end my brother's life before I took my own. I hoped Inoki would understand.

 

Despair does strange things to youkai; it's not in our nature to give up easily. But if giving up wasn't really giving up, but declaring a final victory? I could convince myself of that. It might take a few more days of sitting in this little stone ruin, but I thought I could do it.

 

Anything to not live under that monster, anything to get free of him before he turned me into something as heartless and sadistic as himself. Anything to keep from torturing another friend, anything to not feel those hands on my skin, feel those burning black eyes following me. I didn't want to condemn my brother because I was too cowardly and weak to resist him any longer.

 

Being my father's son had taught me one thing, one thing I believed right down to my bones. He would always get what he wanted. Ordinary demons couldn't stand against him, why should I pride myself on being better?

 

It was only a matter of time before I became like him, learned to enjoy my life of committing horrors on others, drunk with the power, blinded by the pure youki that burned like darkness in my own veins. It was only a matter of time before I cast off the last shreds of my soul and gave in, and then he'd have me as he wanted. And I'd probably learn to enjoy that too.

 

I suddenly understood how my mother had found suicide so appealing.

 

I heard a rustling sound; my ears were so sharp I could hear her approach even through the sounds of the pouring rain. Just for a moment, I wanted to attack. The instinct was so strong and I was beyond myself at the moment. I heard the first soft footstep as she entered my domain and I pounced.

 

"Inu!"

 

Anuki stared at me, quivering with fright as I lay on top of her. I'd knocked her to the ground none too gently even though I'd known from the second she entered who she was. Strange how despair affects us, even though I'd sat brooding for three days, working up the courage to end my own life, my instincts took over at this moment.

 

"Inu?" she asked, her small hands pushing against my chest. Maybe she could see that tinge of madness in my eyes, maybe she saw something else. I don't know what she saw, my mind was a forest fire, my heart was thundering in my ears and I growled low in the back of my throat when I scented her.

 

With an effort I held the darkness back, stunned by the way it had come out of nowhere to attack. Three days hadn't been enough time to shove it all the way back, it wanted more.

 

"Why did you come here?" I demanded harshly, rising up on my knees. As I did, I felt a strange squashy package come loose between us, whatever she'd been carrying when I jumped her.

 

"I...I..." she stammered, her eyes blinking rapidly at me.

 

I hated myself. Anuki was dear to me, I selfishly hoarded the few happy memories I had and most of them had involved her. Now she was too scared to move, even when I pushed myself off of her she didn't make any sudden movements. Instead the girl just lay there like a frightened rabbit caught in a snare, transfixed by the hunter's eyes.

 

I looked down and slowly reached for the bag she had been carrying. My nose told me the rest. A few apples, a chunk of fresh roasted meat, a portion of rice carefully wrapped in paper so she could bring it to me. Anuki had been worried, the logical part of my brain told me. She had been concerned, thinking that I was out here sulking too long and wanted to bring me something to eat in hopes that might coax me out of the hole I'd dug for myself.

 

"I'm sorry," I muttered, leaning back and looking away. Oh gods, just go away, I thought. I didn't want sympathy or friendship, deep inside I was convinced I didn't deserve either.

 

"It's not your fault," she murmured, sitting up and starting to pull her clothes to rights. I watched as her bare shoulder disappeared under the damp fabric. A small red mark was just under her collarbone, I knew it had come from my hand. I shivered violently, starting to shake as I crawled away from her.

 

"Just go away, Anuki."

 

"I didn't mean to sneak up on you," she said miserably, pulling her legs under her as she faced me. She still sounded so scared. That was my doing. We were no different. Just like him, just like him, my brain beat the thought against the inside of my skull until I wanted to scream from it.

 

"You didn't sneak up on me," I muttered. Her uncharacteristic silence told me how confused she really was, how bewildered she had to be from coming up here to help a friend and getting jumped like she was the enemy, like she was the one who did something wrong. By way of apology, I reached into the bag and took one of her apples. I didn't want it, but I made myself bite into the fruit anyway, chew and swallow. It tasted like sand.

 

When I had finished and thrown the core out into the wet darkness, she spoke. "Inoki is worried about you."

 

Inoki had reason to worry. "Did he send you?"

 

She shook her head, her hair flopping wetly around her face. "No, I came on my own, but we both guessed where you were."

 

At least I was predictable, I thought wryly. I tried to put on an act, make it seem like what was happening was no big deal. "So my little brother and his little friend knew where I'd be sulking. Didn't it occur to either of you that I'd come back when I was ready?"

 

She flinched and I wanted to kick myself again. My words came out harsh, mocking. Damn it, I even sound like him now, is there no other way to stop this? I could smell that Anuki was on the verge of tears. "You're so damn selfish, Inu!" she burst out at last, her voice sounding high and unnatural. "Don't you know that Inoki worries himself sick when you run off like this? He convinced you're going to do something really stupid!"

 

"Maybe I am," I said quietly, looking out into the rain. "Maybe it's about time somebody did something really stupid."

 

Anuki twisted her wet yukata in her hands, wringing out some of the water. My eyes followed the movement, fascinated by the shape of her fingers in the light colored fabric. I followed the line of her body up to the smooth column of her throat. For some reason I couldn't look away and found myself thinking that she wasn't a little girl anymore, but a young woman. Her scent was no longer that of a child, I could smell that she was maturing fast as do all inuyoukai females when they reach that age where they might bear young.

 

Time stopped and started again and I remembered to breathe. I felt sick and dizzy; some unfamiliar sensation was making my pulse speed up. There was no danger, no threat. There was only Anuki and the rain.

 

"Hashiro is recovering," she said and blew me out of my spiraling descent. My head went back, my mouth dropping open like an imbecile's as I stared at her. Anuki pretended not to notice and went on like we were just discussing the weather. "The healers say he'll walk again, but it may take some time. His bones will mend easier than the muscles that were torn up. The scars will be bad, but even they will fade over time and at least they won't be visible to anyone except his wife."

 

I said nothing because I couldn't say anything. I was frozen, stuck in black ice cold mud that wanted to suck me down and never let me out again. Anuki looked at me curiously, obviously waiting for me to say how good it was I hadn't damaged the man beyond repair, how wonderful that he'd live to walk again, badly scarred, but what did that matter? I had nothing to be ashamed of, did I?

 

I made myself ask, made my throat unclench enough for me to speak. "You talked to Hashiro?" I dreaded the answer; I dreaded what she would tell me. I wanted her to say it really wasn't so bad; I wanted her to tell me I had no other choice. But I didn't think I could bear the shame if she did.

 

"Inoki talked to him, he's stayed by his side as much as he could," Anuki said softly, edging a little closer to me. She reached out and touched my hand. "Inu, please come back with me."

 

Sighing, I pulled my hand away from hers and buried my face against my knees. "I can't," I told Anuki. "If you'd heard the way he screamed when I hit him..."

 

"I did," she answered. "Inoki and I were there."

 

Numbness spread up from my toes, over my knees, past my groin and into my stomach. There the ball of ice formed and began to take over my heart. They'd seen it, of course. My father must have planned it that way, lure little Anuki and Inoki into the audience hall, make them watch as I tortured Hashiro at my father's whim. Of course, it made perfect sense. And so did what I needed to do.

 

Slowly, I got to my feet, wobbling a bit still from the shock. Everything was made clear; I had no hard decisions to make anymore. "Anuki," I said, looking back at her. "Would you do me a favor?"

 

She jumped to her feet with an embarrassing display of eagerness. "Yes," the girl said firmly. "I'd do anything for you, Inu."

 

I smiled at that and took her shoulders. "I'm going back to the fortress," I told her. "Tomorrow morning, I want you to come and see Inoki, I want you to ask him to come spend the afternoon with you. Since I'll be back there's no reason for my father to forbid it. As soon as you get home to your father's house, I want you to give Inoki enough food and supplies to last him for a few days in the forest. I don't know when our father will come after him, but you've got to do this and give him as much head start as you can."

 

"Inu," Anuki looked horrified. "Why...what are you going to do?"

 

"Tell him that it's what I want him to do," I said firmly, squeezing her shoulders. "I need him to at least try to survive."

 

I walked off into the rain, resolute in what needed to be done. I wasn't ready to sacrifice Inoki's life; I hoped he'd be smart enough to get by on his own. I couldn't protect him forever, but I'd do what I could to distract the bastard before I died.

 

"No," she shouted, some intuition telling her what I was planning. She ran after me into the rain, tearing at the back of my clothes. "Inu, no!" she cried again. "Don't you dare, don't you dare!"

 

"It's the only way," I said, brushing her to the side. "I've made up my mind. Inoki will understand."

 

"I don't!" Anuki screamed, making me stop by the ragged horror in her voice. I looked back at her, seeing her clearly when a flash of lightning streaked the sky. "I don't understand why you're going to kill yourself, I'd never understand that!"

 

"Anuki," I began patiently. Now that I'd decided, I felt remarkably calm, like the weight of the world was gone from my back.

 

She slapped me. She slapped me again, twice as hard. I didn't move, I just stared at her as the water poured off her nose and mixed with her tears. "You selfish bastard, you stupid idiot, you always think that you're the only one who can make decisions, like you're the only person that can make sacrifices. Well, I'm not going to let you!"

 

"You can't stop me," I hissed.

 

Her eyes flashed. "I'll go to the damn fortress myself and I'll tell your father what you're going to do. He'll lock both you and Inoki in some dark horrible hole, but he'll let you live. I'm not going to let you kill yourself, Inutaisho!"

 

I stared at her, lost in the vision of little Anuki confronting the monster on her own. Didn't she know how dangerous that was; didn't she know that her words would make both Inoki and I bleed for days? He'd probably make her watch what he did, watch until she begged him to stop and that's when he'd really get into it. Anuki would be shattered, destroyed by that monster's cruelty.

 

"Are you insane?" I breathed.

 

She shook her head wildly and thunder cracked in agreement. "No, but you are if you think dying is your only way of fighting him."

 

"You spoiled little brat," I snapped, reaching out to shake some sense into her. Anuki ran at me, evading my hands and throwing her arms around my neck.

 

"I can't let you die," she sobbed.

 

I stood there for a minute and just let her cry. I was a bastard to do this to her, expect her to go home knowing what I was planning. Gently, I reached down and forced her chin up. "Anuki," I said, looking into her eyes. I wanted to say I was sorry, but she kissed me before I got the words out and her hands dragged me down to the wet grass.

 

Instincts I didn't even know I had suddenly flared to life and I kissed her back, even harder, bruising her mouth with an urgent need that had come out of nowhere. This was all wrong, I told myself as I pulled back, trying to clear my head.

 

She didn't want it to be clear; I realized that when she grabbed at me like she feared I would run from her. I couldn't run, not now, looking at her lying there under me, the hard, dark tips of her breasts showing through the thin fabric of her delicate summer yukata. I reached out my shaking hand and pushed the cloth aside so I could touch them, fumbling over her skin while Anuki hissed and arched into my body, her hips brushing against mine and sending shockwaves of desire down my nerves.

 

The next thing I knew, she was pulling on my hair, demanding that I kiss her again. Parted lips, probing tongues, new tastes and new ways to feel. My knee between her thighs, pressing them apart. I couldn't breathe, I didn't care. Lightning flashed again and the thunder made us deaf. I could see her face, but I couldn't hear her when she cried out as I forced my way into her body, too inexperienced to make it easier for either of us.

 

Elbows and hands, knees and legs, it was all a tangle, a comic jumble with no way to puzzle out and we did not care. The wet grass slid under my knees, I couldn't stop myself from falling, I was way over that edge by now, diving into that hot fire and riding faster as we moved in helpless rhythm. A million stars burst across my eyelids as I squeezed them shut, my body jerking in sudden, catastrophic release and with a whimper; I spiraled down into a warm almost conscious darkness.

 

"Promise me," she whispered as the warm summer rain slicked over my back.

 

Promise me, Inutaisho.

 

Anything, I thought, drifting. Anuki's hand brushed my cheek, her lips against my ear. "Promise it, you won't give up. You won't leave us behind."

 

And I promised. What else could I do?