InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Demons Within Us ❯ Nothing Else Matters ( Chapter 32 )

A roll of thunder echoed over the windswept harbour as it flowed over the high buildings of the sleeping city before dissolving into the emptiness of the night. InuYasha stirred slightly as it rumbled overhead and slowly opened his eyes to the darkness of his hotel room. Taking in a deep yawn, he immediately winced at the tenderness of his stomach and cautiously eased back against the mattress as his mind hazily relayed the events of that evening and the reasoning behind his current predicament. Fuck, he was never being heroic again.

 

His hand automatically lifted to cover the throbbing ache in his torso but met with fabric instead. With an apprehensive moue, he lifted the down comforter covering him to assess his injuries hidden by thick gauze. His lips lifted wryly, he had almost forgotten that part; Kagome had helped him back to his room and fixed him up. He must have fallen asleep when she left to get the ice. Did she even come back? His curiosity shifted around the room, barely taking in the condensation covered bucket on his nightstand and the medical kit on the floor, before he caught sight of her blue silhouette standing by the large bay window beyond the far side of his bed.

 

Thankfully Kagome didn't seem to notice that he was awake, as she barely moved while she stared out at the city, giving him secret freedom to study her. He stifled a moan as he slowly perused her body. God, she was beautiful. Her expression looked tiredly reposed as she followed the tracks of rain upon the window, whose shadows whispered across her face like blackened tears, and the blue of the outside lights cast a cool halo upon her skin, illuminating her in an unearthly glow. Her hair, still tussled from the storm, looked to be twisted with fine strands of sapphire, which spilled down in winding tendrils over her silk covered back. The white of the robe she was dressed in, no doubt having shed off her damp clothes, looked ethereal against the blackness of the room.

 

She was an angel, he was convinced, standing in sweet vigil as she watched the world outside, taking in every action that her eyes could see, yet no one knew she even existed. No one, save for one man who could never see anything else.

 

InuYasha silently allowed his body to relax when he realized that she wasn't going anywhere. In fact it looked like she hadn't moved from that spot in some time. His eyes roamed quickly to the clock beside him. It was half past one in the morning. He had been out for four hours. Had she been standing there all this time? She must be exhausted. Why hadn't she gone back to her own room?

 

He slowly looked back over at her form and took further notice of the fatigue on her face. He mentally shook his head as the truth hit him. She wasn't watching over the city - she was watching over him. His heart doubled its rhythm. It was something he should have expected from her by now. There had never been a moment when she wasn't there when he needed her.

 

He breathed in disbelief, what had he done to deserve her? He must have done one thing right in his forsaken life to be blessed by her. He wished he knew what, for it would be the one thing he would not regret. But even so, what had ever possessed her to stay?

 

He slowly cast his eyes over her once more, taking in each probability and impossibility that was this enigma before him. With each moment that passed, the more he became mystified by the woman he had once believed an open book. He desperately wanted to know her story, he wanted to know how she came to be here, but most of all he wanted to know….

 

“Why did you survive?” His sleep-deepened words filtered over the heavy pelting of the rain on the window, sounding oddly displaced between the rhythmic sounds of the storm outside.

 

She didn't seem to be surprised by the interruption of his voice. In fact it felt like she was waiting for him to speak as she slowly sighed and turned to face him. She gently rubbed her chilled arms. “Because I had to.”

 

She treaded softly over the lush carpet and sat on the side of his bed. He silently took in the soft folds of the hotel robe as she tucked her knees up under her and covered her lap with a corner of his comforter. The warmth of her body next to his coaxed a slight shiver from his flesh as she settled herself comfortably without pretense or sexual agenda. It felt…nice.

 

“How're you feeling?” She asked, bringing his attention up to her concern filled eyes.

 

“Sore.” He grimaced as he moved to sit up and a little away from her, bunching the blanket up around his bound torso. “But it'll pass.”

 

She nodded and moved to hand him a glass of water and some pills that were on the bedside table before settling herself back into the bed's folds. “Here, this will help some.”

 

Taking them gratefully, he quickly swallowed the medicine and drank the rest of the water in slow sips. He was silent a few moments before placing the glass back on the side table next to him. With a heavy breath, he finally asked. “Why are you here?”

 

“I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

 

“No,” he shook his head as he looked at her dead on. “I mean, why are you here? Why are you still with me after…everything?”

 

She searched his face intently before lowering her gaze to the floor. “Because… this is why I exist.” She slowly peered back up at him. “Does that make any sense?”

 

His brows creased slightly and he faintly shook his head.

 

She flushed and turned her eyes down to her fidgeting fingers in her lap. “Sometimes,” her voice was barely above a whisper, “I ask myself that same question. Why did I live when no one else had? When you think about it in that perspective, it's only natural to think that there must be purpose for your life, a reason why you exist.”

 

InuYasha frowned. “Do you think that's why you're here… for some preordained destiny? Is that why you act the way you do with me? Because you feel you have an obligation just because you lived?”

 

Kagome shook her head. “No. Had that night occurred differently, had circumstances been… orchestrated, maybe I would feel obligated. But… what happened that night made me only become humbled to how precious life is. I live my life because I can no longer take it for granted. I behave like this because I found a purpose after that night, but not because I lived, but… because I live.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

She sighed as she continued to play with her fingers. “We all have a reason for living, but few ever know that reason. People can spend their whole lives just living and never understand why they even get up in the morning. I was lucky enough to find my purpose because of what I went through, and it made…made a little more sense to why I am here.”

 

InuYasha studied her frame a few moments as her words settled uneasily in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't up for a philosophical debate of why they exist, but he was curious about how she came to this way of thinking. “So then…what happened that gave you a reason for living?”

 

Kagome turned to look at him, her heavenly eyes revealing secrets he never knew existed, but also an underlying sadness he didn't fully understand. She slowly blinked, the vividness of her eyes faded as her mind went swiftly away into memory. He was afraid she wasn't going to answer before her pale voice whispered through the dark. “It was my fifteenth birthday.”

 

“What?” InuYasha sat up straight despite the shooting tenderness in his gut. “Your birthday?” Seriously? “Wait, wasn't that the birthday you got that weird hand from your grandpa?”

 

Kagome nodded distractedly. “And Buyo got sick on mom's new rug. Souta and I played hide and seek around the God Tree and we had cake on the veranda. We watched the sun set from the shrine stairs. It was a good day. It was a really good day.”

 

InuYasha watched in pallid silence as her expression looked distant and her tone lowered to almost a dead weight.

 

“I woke up to what I thought was thunder and then the house shattered around me. My bed had plummeted through the floor and I landed underneath my mattress in the room below. There was a high pitch squeal in the air, like fireworks. I remember screaming. Then I heard… voices. Souta was shouting for mom. He sounded so far away.” Her eyes shifted as she relived that night. “He was crying, terrified, but no one was answering. I had to get to him. I tried to crawl out from under the mattress, but it was so heavy. I think beams from the house landed on top. I managed to get out, but everything was burning, I didn't know where I was. There was so much smoke. I ran, but I didn't know where I was going. The rooms were gone. Everything was buried under wood, furniture, our roof….

 

`I kept yelling for Souta. I could hear him but he was so far away. I could… I couldn't get close enough to find him. Then the ground shook with another explosion. I think I blacked out. When I opened my eyes I was lying on broken glass and… there were timbers burning my back. I couldn't move. My ears were ringing so badly and I hurt. It was like a freight train was running over me. I know I was crying out, but… no one was coming. I couldn't even hear Souta anymore.”

 

Her hand lifted to rub her shoulder unconsciously. “I remember…the heat was blistering. I… I was on fire. I was being burned alive but then,” she pointed faintly to her right, “something large fell and the beam on me lifted. I could get out. I kept crawling until I felt something large in front of me. It was the God Tree. I was outside but it was hard to tell. Fire and pieces of my house were everywhere. The ringing got louder and then I realized it wasn't me. The ringing I was hearing was coming from the city, but… not the city. It was gone. Everything was gone - there was nothing but black and red. It looked like the world was swallowed up and Hell had taken over. Bodies were moving in the streets before falling in heaps. It was because of the sky.” Kagome looked up as if seeing it all over again. “It was raining melted rubber and oil, everything that was touched was consumed in flame. The God Tree kept me from being boiled alive, but I knew I had to find cover. I kept crawling until I felt wooden doors. The well house was still standing. I slid through and down the stairs. Ash was falling through the cracks like rain. I knew it wasn't long before the well house would be gone too. There was only one more place for me to go. Without a thought I let my body fall into the well….”

 

Kagome blinked tiredly as she pulled herself out of the past. She lowered her gaze and picked feathers blindly out of the ivory comforter. “By some miracle it never caught fire. I spent three days in that well, it kept me alive until someone found me.”

 

InuYasha covered his mouth with his hand while she said this. Visions of an old, empty well swirled across his sight on a night not long ago, on a night when he watched her spill lotus petals on a world she had lost nine years ago. His brows furrowed in slight uncertainty as he thought about it. “Last Friday,” he paused, unsure how to proceed without letting on that he had seen her, “was the anniversary of that explosion….”

 

Her head tilted in what he took to be a nod. “I also turned twenty four. Since that night I have never celebrated my birthday. Instead I honor that night.” Her gaze drifted to the window as if to see her childhood home across the sea. “And I watch the dawning of a new day.”

 

InuYasha shut his eyes as overwhelming grief and remorse rose up in him. He had often come to the Seventh Hell for a drop off, never thinking about its significance. He had looked upon that tree with distain and disgust, he mocked the useless well that never held water, and he walked across those grounds never thinking about a family buried there. And worse of all, he dishonored and misjudged the one who had called it home.

 

Before he had seen her that night he had believed she was incapable of feeling heartache, pain and regret - of being human. And in a moment that felt like a lifetime ago, he witnessed that she was beyond everything that he had ever felt himself. And he never knew. He never knew any of it. “God, I'm so sorry, Kagome.”

 

His apology would never atone for what he had done against her and she would never realize that it even was an apology. The words were so cliché, so ordinary and overused by those who had nothing else to say. But to him it was the only phrase he had to express his repentance, and it barely touched the surface to how he felt.

 

Silence swept over the room and weighed him down like grave dirt. He wished he never brought this up. He wished he lay oblivious to her past, because the more he saw of it the more he realized how much of it they shared. How entwined was his life with hers? Kohaku, Souten, the Shrine - were but pieces of how their lives were connected. What other messes did he leave for her to clean up? What other grievances had he committed unknowingly against her? With a heavy soul, he pledged from that moment on that he would make it up to her in anyway he could.

 

“I didn't want to die.” Her quiet voice revived him from his penitence.

 

“What?” His voice sounded gravely, having lost himself from the conversation.

 

“The reason, I think… why I lived.” She sat back and let a bare leg fall over the side, the edges of her scars glowed faintly against the window's reflection. “I didn't want to die. When I lay inside that well I felt a will to keep going. I never really understood it. The pain I was in was beyond anything I'd ever felt - my skin tore every time I moved and dirt got into my broken blisters. It felt like I was still on fire. I would have thought my body would give out on me. And I was so thirsty. I would have given anything for a drop of water.” A low rumble went ignored past the window. “I would have died in happiness had it rained, had the water fell through the cracks and onto me. I would have given in had something gave me any bit of relief. But it never did.

 

“I spent most of the time blacking out. I was always surprised when I woke up, often expecting to die in my sleep. And after I was pulled out of the well, saw the devastation and the fires still burning, after all the pain of doctors pulling off my dead flesh at the hospital, of seeing scars that would never fade, after the realization that I could never go home again, I still lived. It took a long time for me to figure out why. The only answer I had was that I lived because I wanted to. Then the question was what did I want to live for?”

 

She unconsciously smoothed back the bedspread on her lap, letting her fingers roam over the cool surface. “At first I lived for the family I lost, then for the new family I entered into, and then for the lost children I took care of. But I soon realized it was not them I was living for. It was never them I was living for. It was none of them that I felt when I was inside the well. There was something else that triggered that drive to keep going, like some voice that made me anticipate that there was something waiting for me, something that would make everything I had gone through worthwhile. It was that feeling I carried in everything I did, telling me I had something amazing to live for. It was not until recently that I discovered what that something was.”

 

Confusion etched on InuYasha's brow. “And what was it?”

 

Her heavenly blue slowly rose up to meet his golden pools. “You.”

 

“…What?”

 

A hint of colour dashed across her nose while she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She found a crease in the blanket immensely interesting. “It took a long time to come to terms with what happened that night, and it took even longer to understand why I lived. I can never answer why I was the only one. I only knew what compelled me to keep going. It compels me at every moment of everyday. But it's not because I was the only survivor and that I have some mission to do. I just came to understand that my life…is always what it was: a gift, something that was better off shared by living than wasted by wanting. So I lived, really lived, and I began to feel that I was meant for something. I felt like I had meaning. It's just that, with you, it feels stronger…fuller. More complete, you know? Like this is where I'm supposed to be….”

 

InuYasha's lips parted as what she was saying sunk in. Could that be possible? Was she actually saying this? That everything she had gone through, everything that she was, was because of anticipation of being with him? How could she know?

 

“Why me?” He whispered as if anything louder would break the secret between them.

 

“I don't know.” She answered, lifting her face up to him, her wide chaste eyes looked almost afraid. Her hand unconsciously covered her heart as if trying to find the words to what she was feeling. “It just… feels….”

 

InuYasha desperately wanted her to finish that sentence. He wanted to crash his lips against hers and connect with that feeling he had been denying since the moment he met her. He wanted to live up to that climax one feels when the universe made sense for that one moment. But he faltered.

 

“I can't be the one….” His voice broke slightly as he searched her face imploringly. “I'm not safe.”

 

Her brows furrowed innocently in question.

 

He shook his head. “I can't possibly be what you've been waiting for.” He lowered his head in shame. “I've done nothing to deserve that sort of attention.”

 

“Why…?”

 

“Because!” He shot his manic eyes up. “Because I've lived expecting nothing, I've lived being nothing! I've lived without having someone like you in mind. Shouldn't I have? If this were supposed to happen, wouldn't I have felt what you felt? Wouldn't I have lived like you? Waiting for that expectation that my life had meaning? But I didn't! I don't! I just…I just….”

 

“You lived regardless of everything that had happened.” She finished, watching him intently. “Isn't that enough to convince you that you are deserving?”

 

“No,” he rasped. “No, it's not that easy.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it doesn't work that way.”

 

“Says who?”

 

“Fuck, Kagome!” He yelled. “Why can't you see me for what I am!”

 

She was quiet for a long moment as his heavy breathing carried around them.

 

“Tell me.” She said.

 

“What?” He knitted his brows in confusion.

 

“Tell me what you are.”

 

His mouth opened and closed before he shook his head and moved to get off the bed. “You don't….”

 

Her hand shot out and held him in place. “I told you the reason why I'm here.” Her voice wavered but she held his gaze as she let him go. “If you are going to leave, InuYasha, I think I deserve to know why.”

 

“I'm not…” his mouth quickly shut as he turned his face away. No. No more lies. There were no more chances. He knew this was his last moment to tell her the truth behind everything. Seconds ticked by with agonizing punctuation. With a heaving breath, he slowly replied. “I don't know how to deal with this. I've been alone ever since my father died.”

 

Stunned silence swept across the room. “Inu…” she fumbled.

 

He shook his head as he stared bitterly at the floor. “You said you wanted to know my reasons.”

 

“I… I'm listening.”

 

With a heavy heart, InuYasha began. “My father was Akio Taisho. Name sound familiar?”

 

Kagome slowly shook her head.

 

“Keh, well, you're lucky then. When he was younger he was known as Japan's best soldier. And when he became injured, he became one of Japan's most elite businessmen. Everyone expected great things from him. He was even in the running for Prime Minister before he died. So naturally, being his son, I was a pain in the ass. Thought I was some big shit on campus, acted like I owned the damn city. I got away with being a brat because no one was about to dispute my connections.” He grunted softly as he leaned up against the headboard but intently ignored the pain in his sides. “I took a lot of things for granted, and one of those things was my worth.”

 

He sighed contritely. “My father was busy often at the end, some big mafia sting that he was going to bring down, I don't know. As far as I cared it didn't affect me any. Then one night he didn't come home. Never really knew the details. Just knew they found him, shot right through the heart in his office. At first we figured some gang member took him down, but days went by and the news began to twist the story, saying it was a suicide. Then something leaked out showing some half-assed proof that my father was into embezzling. Then more shit came out that he had ties to the mafia. By the end of it his reputation was torn to shreds and so was our family. My mom…” he shook his head. “She was never the same since. She loved my father and his death crippled her. By the time the media was done she was completely broken. She was in the psycho ward for a few years - a lot of good that did her. She was abused and neglected, no doubt because of what my father supposedly did to Japan's reputation. Eventually Sesshomaru brought her home, got some private nurse to watch her. But it wasn't any good. She was too far-gone. Didn't even recognize us anymore. I hated…hated her for that.” His voice cracked under the strain. “She couldn't even keep it together for her damn kids.”

 

He felt Kagome shift to rest against the headboard, her warmth grazing his skin as settled herself next to him. Heartened by her soothing presence, he continued.

 

“In the middle of all that I was kicked out of school, bullied for who I was, and soon I fought anyone who even looked at me funny. I stayed home a few weeks when mom was committed, but I couldn't stomach the emptiness. So I left. I was thirteen.”

 

“Thirteen?” Kagome said aghast.

 

A harsh smile flicked across his lips. “Heh, wasn't so bad. Had my first taste of the real world. Saw it for what it really was. Best education I ever got.” His shoulders sagged as he let out a defeated breath. “Eventually I got caught for petty theft and thrown into a halfway house. Spent a year there, a year too long, before I ran off again. I lived on the street until I met up with Kouga and ended up in his pitiful gang. Unfortunately it had enough connections for Sess to find me. Fucker dragged me back home. By this time mom was out of the mental hospital.” His amber eyes dulled. “She didn't even know our names,” he snorted, “she called us both Akio. All she could see was my damn father. She'd scold Sess if he worked too late, saying she was tired of going to bed alone, and she'd hug me and kiss me too close….”

 

InuYasha swallowed hard and shut his eyes. “I couldn't take it anymore. One night she came at me, started touching me. I flipped. I told her that I wasn't Akio. He was dead. Told her to snap out of it and stop being such a crazy bitch. We were her kids, for fuck sakes, and if it weren't for her I wouldn't have gone through hell. I told her I hated her.”

 

Kagome looked over at him with an expression of tenderness and sorrow. Wordlessly, she huddled closer to his side and rested her head on his upper bicep, unsure of how much of her support he would accept. She could feel his muscles ease a little before he continued.

 

“She slapped me. She said I was lying and started screaming for me to get out. Then she came at me with a needle left by one of the nurses. I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I wasn't dealing with this shit anymore. Then I heard her fall. I turned around to see her landing at the bottom of the stairs. She looked,” he faltered, “looked so…broken.” All life seemed to drain from his face as his listless eyes opened. “She spent months in rehabilitation. Her body healed, but she was never responsive to anything we did. They said she was lost in her own mind. All that was left was her body that was deteriorating right in front of us. Sess said it wasn't my fault - it was a bomb waiting to happen. He said I should forgive her because she didn't know what she was doing. I couldn't. The moment she stabilized enough to come home, I packed up everything I had and moved out. I've never seen her since.”

 

Kagome pulled away enough to look up at him. “Where did you go?”

 

He gazed down, watching mutely as she bit sweetly on her lower lip, worrying the edge of it. It was endearing to see how affected she was, concerned about his past self, but it also was wrenchingly distracting. With desperate hesitation, he pulled away from her side, tossing the comforter off his sweltering legs. Keeping his back to her from the middle of the bed, he stared down at his jean-clad lap. “I didn't go back to the street. I found the apartment I'm in, managed a few odd jobs before ending up as a dealer. From that I figure you know about Kikyo, Naraku and Kohaku.”

 

Kagome nodded weakly. “Some, yes.”

 

“So then you know why I made Perdition?” He cast a furtive glance her way.

 

Kagome paused then shook her head.

 

InuYasha half rolled his eyes and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I needed out. I never finished my education, and even though I have a trust fund and an inheritance, I didn't want it. It was from a life I hated and I wanted nothing to do with it. I only had one thing going for me, so I took a chance at making a band. My thoughts were to make it rich, pay off my debts and get the hell out of Japan. That was something all of us wanted. None of us had anything worth keeping until...” his brow furrowed slightly as he looked over at her. “What I don't get is how you came into all this. Why did you even want to join?”

 

Kagome avoided his glare as she tucked her covered knees up to her chin. “I needed it to save the orphanage.” She said simply. “The government had cut back funding and the Shikon House was in threat of closing. If it did, the children would have been placed in other systems and there's no knowing if they would've been treated well. I needed to keep us together because we're all we got.” She cast her tired eyes up at him. “I couldn't stand by and let our home be destroyed and lose another family.” A faint smile lifted on her lips. “Besides, I think I made a good decision in joining, don't you?”

 

InuYasha watched her in astonishment but ignored her question. “You joined to save the orphanage?”

 

She nodded softly.

 

“But,” he staggered on what to say, “that was such a risk. How could you place so much on a band that never even had a name for themselves? What if we never got off the ground?”

 

“Well,” she blinked slowly, her blue irises mellowed in weary serenity, “since I had everything to lose anyways, what risk was there? In joining Perdition I had everything to gain.” She lifted her head up from her knees. “And I always had faith that you would bring us far.”

 

“Me?”

 

She smiled. “In all those years you were fighting to survive, InuYasha, you were always there for your friends. From what I have seen and heard, you would do everything within your power to get them what they needed, at any cost. Because of that, I believe in you and what you can do.”

 

He searched her face for a long moment before he looked away in resentment of how well she knew him, as well as slight panic of how much she knew. “You put too much trust in me.”

 

“I never thought so. It's the least of what you deserve.”

 

InuYasha shut his eyes as her words settled deep within him. It was impossible not to love this woman. Never had anyone opened themselves in such a way to him, and never had he desired to open himself like he had tonight. To do so was a risk to lose everything he had tried to protect. But from everything she had said, he looked at her from the corner of his eye, she was risking her all in him. How could he deny himself anymore? For a brief instant he understood what she had been saying about finding a reason for living, of having a purpose just by living. All this time he hadn't been living at all, until he met her. And he finally knew what his reason was. It wasn't Perdition, money or power. All those things he could survive without, and he had, but without her he was nothing. And to have one moment of loving her, he knew then that nothing else mattered.

 

A shaky breath left his lungs as everything he was stepped up to the line. “What do you think I deserve, Kagome?”

 

Seconds ticked by like an eternity as her quiet movements belied her not having heard him.

 

“I…I think you deserve everything you have ever wanted, InuYasha.” He could feel her tighten her hold around her knees like a lifeline.

 

He turned to face her, his intense eyes sending shivers down her spine. “And what do you think you deserve?”

 

Kagome held his gaze with a tremulous desire to answer but timidly pulled her sight to the dull reflection of the rain-streaked window on the floor.

 

InuYasha crept slowly closer to her and pulled her chin over to face him. He studied her fine, beautiful features and exhaled slightly as she nervously licked her lips. “Well? What is it you want?”

 

She slowly closed her eyes before opening them just as slowly. “I've only wanted you, InuYasha, you as you really are.”

 

“And how do you know who I really am, how do you know you want me?”

 

“I felt you.” Her gaze fluttered down to his lips. “The first time you kissed me, I knew who you were.”

 

His mouth parted at a loss of what to say as his own eyes turned down to her slightly panting lips. “Who am I, Kagome?” He asked imploringly. “What am I to you?”

 

“You are,” she breathed. “You just are.”

 

“Nothing?” He teased above the desperate ache screaming inside him.

 

She shook her head. “Everything.” She shut her eyes as she struggled to speak, her words tense with pure emotion. “And I love…I love - I love you.”

 

Exquisite pain shot through his veins as what she had said marked him as hers. With no more thought or care, he swallowed her full lips in a searing kiss, pulling her body hard against his when he felt her desperate return. For the first time he felt free from resentment, failure and presumption. Instead he was filled with, for lack of better words, intense light. It felt like a lifetime of sin was purged within that kiss and there was no looking back.

 

His hot fingers tangled themselves deep within her raven strands of silk, drawing her mouth closer to his to be lapped of its holy water. Her mouth parted in a sobbing moan, which he quickly stopped with a deep rake of his tongue inside her. She tasted minty sweet and honestly pure. Her mouth held no bitterness, no ridged uncertainty - just wonderful and indulging openness.

 

He straddled her thighs and tightened his hold around her back to better reach her inviting mouth. She willingly obliged as she pressed her cool body upon his heated skin, her hands threading through his sleep tousled mane in order to keep her balance against the raging waves surging through them.

 

Panting, InuYasha pulled away just enough to keep their lips touching in order to give themselves time to breathe. With every few breaths he kissed her swollen lips in sweeping tenderness and passion. His flesh began to burn beneath the confining bandage, distracting him with its annoying friction. With a growling moan he pulled savagely at it until it untangled itself from him. Tossing it away, he grabbed Kagome and pressed her silk clad chest against his hard, bare one, never once breaking the kisses he was drinking from her.

 

His heavy groin began to throb against the pressure of his jeans and he willed it down by sheer force. He didn't want this quick. He wanted this right, with no barriers, no walls, and no regrets. With a last heated kiss he leaned back and stared achingly down at her shivering frame.

 

“Kagome?” He breathed.

 

Languidly, her eyes opened to reveal deep moonlit oceans. A small exhale was her answer.

 

His lips trembled in a desire to smile. Biting his lower lip, he rested his forehead against hers. “I want to see you, Kagome.”

 

She lifted her face, making him pull away enough to see her unsure expression.

 

“Please,” he swiped loose tendrils of her hair from her cheek, “let me see who you are.”

 

Her eyes searched his in slight fear and question, before she let them fall between them. With a shaky sigh, she pulled from his hold and slid off the bed, standing to face the window.

 

In desiring apprehension, InuYasha watched as the robe slipped down her slender shoulders, her curved back, her luscious ass and finally to the floor. His mouth parted as he stared at her silent, nude frame, and all he could do was be in awe.

 

She had wings - pure white, long tipped wings. They practically glowed in the blue hued room, and every edge of her was lined white against the backdrop of the window, casting her in a heavenly aura. She was an angel. His angel. One he would never doubt again.

 

He edged to the side of the bed and slowly reached up and let his fingers glide over the ridges and contours of her scars, feeling only soft down and warm folds of feather like skin. With a breathy moan, he leaned forwards and kissed between her blades, inhaling the sweet musk of her flesh. Oh God, he shuddered, nothing had ever felt this good.

 

A tremor coursed through his fingers and he could see the rising gooseflesh on her radiant skin. With a reverent pause, he stretched up to lean his heated length against her back.

 

“Lay down,” he whispered against her ear. “I want to touch you.”

 

She looked at him, wide eyed, over her shoulder, before being guided back onto the bed. Lying on her stomach, she faintly inhaled his warmth that had settled beside her, thrilling her with his close sensuality and his temperate touch. His long fingers faintly stroked the entire length of her back, up and over her buttocks, down the dips of her legs to rest against the circle of her ankle. Her eyes shut at the powerful waves of indescribable feelings shooting up from every nerve, vying for his touch.

 

She heard him groan her name. “You're perfect.”

 

Her lips parted as a small tear trickled from the corner of her eye, but his hot mouth latching itself onto her shoulder incinerated the tender moment. She gasped loudly and instinctively arched against him, but he gently pushed her back down as he covered her body with his own, his wet and eager tongue tracing her flesh to areas she never knew existed.

 

“Inu…” she breathed.

 

He grunted when his mouth found a spot on her lower back that made her stretch up to expose more skin to his explorations. Never before had she thought she could feel this way.

 

She gripped the sheets as his lips ghosted over her twin mounds and landed on her left thigh. He continued to kiss and taste the entire length of her leg, settling in certain spots what made her hitch or flex in sensitivity. Again he did it with her other leg, taking his time to study each scar on her body, to kiss each wound away. With each meticulous touch, every pleasurable sound he made, the more beautiful and special she felt. Her body practically hummed with intense vulnerability to his perusal. She could still feel the lingering traces he had left behind, even minutes after he had touched her. She was charged and electrified, shocked to feel that it never reached a limit. Instead every overload had settled into her core and she nearly felt embarrassed by the wetness itching between her thighs as she tried to keep them shut from his noticing.

 

InuYasha was too involved to care. Touching her felt divine, like he was stroking a holy object no one had ever been graced to lay a hand on. She was so pure, so perfect - he felt sacred knowing he was the only one to be given this right. And he was going to make it last for as long as he was able.

 

Drawing slowly back up her spine to kiss the nape of her neck, he was almost terrified when she lifted herself off her front to sit up to face him. Her eyes seemed unsure and shy as she studied his bare upper half. His unconsciously followed the same path over her body, a little stunned to see the stark difference between her back and front. Her skin on her chest was milky perfect, and almost glittered from her heated desire. He swallowed a groan at the need to lap up her taste between the folds of her round and very inviting breasts. A faint exhale brought his attention back to her face, seeing the blushing indecision in her expression. Sitting back, he waited with bated breath for what she wanted.

 

Time slowed as he saw her small hand reach out to touch him and he unconsciously closed his eyes as the cool wisps of her fingers danced over the hardened contours of his chest. His flesh quivered at the tickling sensations as both her hands dipped and tripped on each bruised abdominal muscle, then back up to rest on the plains of his pectorals. He nearly flinched as a cascade of fire shot through him when her warm mouth fluttered over the lifeline on his throat. His mind reeled as he leaned like a man starved into her touch.

 

“Ohhh…” he breathed, his chest rumbling in erotic bliss.

 

Kagome blushed deeper as her skin shivered from the heat of his voice against her ear, and gained confidence when he pressed harder against her mouth. She smiled faintly and continued to shyly explore his neck, ears and finally face, lovingly kissing the ridges of his high cheek bones, the sharp plain of his nose, the wide brim of his brows, to finally rest against the soft panting of his swollen lips.

 

As her mouth explored his face, her hands had continued their dance along the expanse of his torso. With more attention to what she was kissing, she never realized how far down her hands had traveled until his hiss against her mouth made her jump.

 

Concerned, she pulled back only to see his heavy eyes staring at her with unquestionable need. Glancing down when she felt his hands on hers, her body shook when he dipped the tips of her fingers into the waistband of his jeans, asking her to continue, begging her to push away their boundaries.

 

A snap of the button falling away from its hole broke the forbidden line, and both could only stare at each other at what was about to happen became very real. Kagome huffed on a laugh, and then a nervous giggle erupted before she caught it between her frightened lips.

 

A small smile alighted on his face and he pulled her in for another kiss, this time slow and leisurely, taking away any inhibition with each lick and suck of his entreating mouth.

 

Leaning deeper into the kiss, she barely felt her body fall to the soft mattress, sensing only his hot flesh pressing against the stimulated tremors of her own. Slowly they touched, slowly they caressed, slowly did they taste each other's voices that flowed in time with the wind and rain outside.

 

She felt charged, like lightning, waiting to crash and roar, but was unable to tell from where she was begging to burst. Her body nearly buckled when his hot mouth achingly kissed her breast, drawing in her nipple as he had done with her tongue and danced with it to send zigzagging currents straight down to her overloaded core. She rubbed her legs together, trying to wipe away the wetness pouring from her. She could smell the tangy musk coming from her and was afraid to open her legs to allow the chill of the room to cool her throbbing area. It felt like there was a heart beat between her thighs as a jarring thump tightened her insides when he moved on to her other breast. Oh dear Heavens! Her closed eyes practically rolled to the back of her head.

 

InuYasha pressed his stomach between her thighs, pushing against the resistance she was fighting in order to keep them closed. With an upward thrust, he managed to pull them apart to settle blissfully between her very hot, very wet apex. He could feel her slick and inviting juices coat his tender abs, which shot with dull jabs of pain each time she clenched her legs around him.

 

“Relax,” he whispered against her pulse thrumming stomach. “Let it go. It's all right.”

 

Her dulcet eyes opened thickly to capture the deep honey of his. She watched in fascination as he slowly reached down and dragged his fingers up her thigh, lifting himself slightly to capture some of her moist pleasure on the tips of his fingers, all the while watching her reaction.

 

Her breath hitched when he brought his glistening fingers before her, then slowly licked each tip clean, sucking them as if savoring lemon filling from a favourite dessert. She let out a sudden cry of alarm as he pushed down to settle his lips inches from her onyx-covered heat. Sitting up, she attempted to close her legs to which he gripped her inner thighs and softly massaged them apart once more. He silently shook his head.

 

“This is what I wanted.” His eyes drifted to the dew stained, red flower before him. “You wanting me.” Without waiting for her response, he dipped his needing tongue forward and lapped up a deep, long taste.

 

Kagome's back arched and she landed hard against the mattress once more, her faint scream heard by only the one who caused it. Again and again she felt him drink her up. Again and again she felt herself flood over from the need. In the back of her mind she thought of images that Ayame whispered to her on private nights back when they were teenagers, of how to pleasure a man. She had never given it much thought before, never thinking she would be given this gift, but the more sensations his tongue introduced to her, the more she desired to give him back in return.

 

A faint `ah' caught hard in her vocal chords as a sharp sting of pleasure ruptured every vessel from the tips of her toes to the ends of her ears. More and more it shot through her as his tongue flicked over the hidden pearl that she never took notice of, but oh did it ever feel like angelic death! Her mind practically screamed for it to stop, since the stabbing sensations were nearly too hard to bear, but her body pushed into it, since it brought the aching ball of explosion to its head.

 

“Inu…” she threw her head to the side as she fisted her hands hard into the sheets. With a terrible feeling of the bed moving, he sat up and the ache inside her dulled marginally to a point of desperate wanting. She whimpered.

 

“Kagome…?”

 

She inhaled deep and looked up at the intense desire mounting on his desperate face. Looking down, she could see the ridged strain of his need protruding from the hard denim of his jeans. With shaking limps, she sat up, making his brow crease slightly in confusion. Reigning in her courage, she reached out and stroked her fingers along the hem of his waistband, lowering the zipper and gracing her touch over the wiry hairs leading to the final boundary.

 

With a savage exhale, he knelt up high and helped her lower his pants until he could kick them from his person. A half minute passed by as InuYasha watched her eyes trace over the shape and size of his manhood, before her soft hand ran along the smooth expanse of its sides. Then wonders upon wonders she leaned forward and tasted the bouncing tip, which embarrassing lurched the moment her warm tongue touched it.

 

Smiling innocently at its reaction, she again licked her tongue out, this time holding the rogue in place to deeply enjoy it.

 

InuYasha painfully closed his eyes and fell back against his elbows to relish this dream come true. A low whining moan rumbled around the room and it took a moment for him to realize it was coming from him. Never before had he felt this good. It was if he was a pulled trigger, loaded and taut, itching to shoot. He had fucked before, but the sensation had barely gone beyond his cock. This time, however, he could feel his need overwhelm him from the far corners of his burning body, and he was ready to erupt.

 

“Kagome,” he whispered, lifting her deeply exploring mouth to face him. His lips parted, struggling on what to say, what to ask.

 

She understood, and lay back down, waiting for him with wanting apprehension.

 

“Wait,” he rasped and quickly rolled off the bed. He ducked down to his suitcase and fished through it for several moments, before climbing back to her side.

 

Kagome's cheeks flared red at the sight of the condom on his large member, the truth of what was about to happen frightening her and exciting her all at the same time. Biting her lower lip, she reached up to trace her fingertips along his jaw, inviting him to take her as his.

 

He smiled a little; looking almost relieved, and settled his frame once more above hers. Drifting slowly up her body, he again worshipped her with subtle touches and kisses until he reached her trembling mouth. Softly, deeply, taking all the time in the world, he kissed her until her body began to dance below him. Reaching down, he placed his tip against the pulsing cavern of her heat. With aching gentleness, he pressed unhurried into her, stopping when she began to tense. More languid kisses eased them both that he was able to flow into her, reaching her maidenhead without even realizing how far he had gone in. He waited there, wanting this one moment to last as long as possible, to burn in their memories of this final threshold that would change their lives forever. With a cry into her mouth, he pushed smoothly deeper, feeling her tightness clench wonderfully around him as her virginity washed down his shaft.

 

She barely flinched, feeling only a dull ache and it was gone. Threading her fingers through his sweat-dampened hair, she encouragingly bore down a little to ask him to fill her completely. He did so with her name moaning from his strained lips and gasped unbelievingly when his long length embedded fully into her tightly rippled core, as if it were a perfect fit. Staying still, both could only stare at each other, panting in each other's breaths.

 

Gradually Kagome's knees lifted to his hips to ease the ache between them. Without a word, InuYasha began to move and the dance began. He leaned down, his chest lightly covering her breasts, with his hands threading the sheet around her tousled hair. Deep in and up, then out - over and over, as if in time to some music that only they could hear. He watched her face contort in slight edges of pain, but the gripping of her arms against his back to pull him close to her told him she was not hurting, but building up that watery ball of their cores impending implosion.

 

Faster his hips began to move, harder he began to push, deeper she adjusted her pelvis to receive more of him he never knew he had. She was so deliciously tight, and he so brutally thick. They silently watched each other, almost as if in shock of what they were doing, of the powerful waves of pleasure they were feeling, of the emotions that weren't said, until a sudden cry from her, a guttural groan from him and a gushing suction pulled them over the edge into an explosion of an endless nature that had them seeing stars.

 

Time stood still.

 

A slowing heartbeat woke him from his fallen state, visions fading from view as InuYasha tremulously opened his eyes. A small hand was running lightly over his scalp and holding him in a loose embrace. Tiredly, he lifted his head to see that it was resting between her cooling breasts. Looking up, he saw that Kagome's eyes were closed, and her sluggish fingers suggested sleep was overtaking her. Lowering his head back down, he found he could say nothing, think nothing, because at that moment, nothing else mattered. Closing his eyes, he tightened his hold around her, and listened to the rain. He never felt her fingers stop, or the soft words from her lips as he drifted into a perfect sleep.

 

“I love you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Wow, another chapter down, and getting so close to the end. I think I should mention that Nothing Else Matters from Metallica inspired this chapter. Man, I love that song. And Right Where It Belongs from NIN inspired chapter Lies and Liabilities.

 

And sorry for the delay. It's been a heck of a few months. The worst that happened was that I had a miscarriage the end of March. I was early in the pregnancy, so it wasn't much in the process to deal with other than the “whys?” Apparently it's quite common, and most women don't even realize they had one. They are lucky. We were so excited to be having another baby. It was a hard blow to lose it before it could really take off. And it was even more daunting because it had me afraid there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't I hold Alex to term? Why did I have this miscarriage? The doctors couldn't give me any answers. They simply told us to try again. If the next pregnancy doesn't take, they will have us see a specialist. I'm not even sure I want to try. I'm blessed with what I have. We are talking about adoption now as well, since we've wanted to adopt as a part of our family plan for years. But that's neither here nor there, the point is, the miscarriage bummed me and I wasn't in the mood to write. I spent a week watching Barbie movies and letting myself be as brainless as the doll herself.

 

The next bit of news happened a few weeks ago. I made the terrifying decision to try my hand at becoming a professional writer. Which made writing even harder since I downed on everything I typed. I joined a local writer's guild to get more involved in the `ins and outs' of the industry. I'm learning tons, but I'm still terrified. I love writing fanfiction because it's fun and amazingly satisfying, but the idea of writing something to have published, something that will be `out there' has me pissing my pants. And I love that feeling. Here's hoping I'll have the confidence and the strength to carry this dream to an actual publication. (Oh please, oh please!). I will be facing some pretty tough critics out there, which I'm afraid of since I have been used to the wonderful and beautiful reviews from all of you. Those reviews really have kept me going during bad times as well as good. And it's because of you that I feel I can live up to my dream.

 

Anyways, I've been dying to get them together like this for two years! Now, on to the hard part….

 

As always, even in the hard times, live and love…the laughter will soon follow.

 

WDW