InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Demons Within Us ❯ To Care or Plead Silence ( Chapter 34 )

A soft knock echoed through the door, but the lone man on the couch ignored it as he stared somberly at the television.

 

A few moments later the knock repeated.

 

“InuYasha?” Kagome's voice barely made it to his ears but he didn't respond. Instead he turned down the sound and waited.

 

“InuYasha, I know you're in there, I can smell the ramen.”

 

InuYasha swore against the noodles in his mouth as he thrust his chop sticks into the warm pot on the coffee table. With a heavy sigh, he lifted himself from the sofa and trudged to the door. Opening it a crack, he gazed down at the woman before him.

 

A tentative smile lifted on her lips as she held up a small bag. “I brought sticky buns.”

 

He shut his eyes for a moment and opened the door to let her in.

 

She stepped into the dirty apartment with an air of sweet freshness from the minty air outside that promised snow. Placing the bag next to his ramen, Kagome avoided looking at him as she took off her coat. “I haven't talked to you in awhile.”

 

“It's been a hectic week,” he said with a shrug, eyeing his meal uncomfortably.

 

“Yeah.”

 

The television filled the silent void in the room before her voice trailed over to him. “Do you think pushing me away will make things better?” She turned to face him, her blue eyes rimmed with unquestionable sadness. “Do you think it will change how I feel?”

 

He tried to hold her gaze but quickly his eyes turned to the floor. It had been a horrible week, probably the worst week he had ever had and he couldn't bring himself to tell her. But it was enough time for him to see what he had been so adamantly been fighting - the inevitable.

 

“I heard you lost your job at the plant.” Kagome fidgeted the downy fabric of her coat between her fingers. “Miroku said you hadn't been showing up for shifts.”

 

“What, are you my mother now?” InuYasha growled, giving her a dark glare.

 

She shook her head. “I just want to know what's bothering you, I just want to know,” she sighed as she stared at the torn armchair to the side, “if you're okay.”

 

“You haven't been very observant if you have to ask me that.” He snapped before he gave his head a small shake. “What I do shouldn't concern you, you have enough to worry about.”

 

“I'm getting on fine, InuYasha. What I'm more concerned about is how you are getting on.” She eyed the degrading apartment and the hint of bitter smoke in the air before turning deep pools of emotion on to him.

 

He could read the unasked questions she would never voice. Had he gone back to what he was? Had he given up? His heart twisted at the desire to tell her everything but it wasn't in him to do such a thing. How could he possibly give up what he was when his past continued to be relived? He searched her fragile frame for a bare moment before looking to the floor. How could he not give in, when he had so much to lose?

 

“I know this wasn't how you wanted things to happen. I know things have turned out to be a huge mess, but this isn't the end,” she stepped closer to him, too close and yet too far.

 

And much too late. Anger flooded through him over the injustice of it all as he looked up at her. “What the fuck do you know? What is there then, huh? What the fuck is there left for me to do?”

 

Kagome opened her mouth before he cut her off.

 

“And shut up about this being a 'dark before the dawn' shit. There is no bloody dawn!” He raked his hand through his hair as he tried to calm down. “Look, this isn't easy for me. All my life I've tried to survive, to just get by, but I can't do that anymore. And I can't,” his hands began to shake and he fisted them together as he breathed in deep. “I can't keep this up anymore. I'm not like you, don't you get it? I'm not able to live for something other than myself.”

 

Kagome's fingers kneaded within the fabric of her coat as she glanced unseeing down at the hood. “Maybe that's why it's so hard.”

 

A frustrated growl vibrated from his throat. “Kagome....”

 

“What do you have, InuYasha, that's worth living like this? What do you have that you need to protect?”

 

His eyes flicked up to meet her desperate blue, but he immediately looked away. “What I had, I lost, over a stupid decision to do just that. To protect. And where did it ever get me? I keep ending up back here.”

 

Tense moments passed. InuYasha could sense she wanted to say something, but soon the words died away with a shaking sigh.

 

He shut his eyes and turned his face away. “I can't change what I am. I'm back where I started and I can't live like... this. Call it the devil in me, but I can't bring myself to care anymore. This is what I am, what I'm meant to do.”

 

“InuYasha....”

 

He shook his head, the numbness that he was succumbing to was drowning out the screams inside his soul. It wasn't a choice he wanted to make, and even now he had trouble to let her know. He cared. God knows how much he cared, but it wasn't enough. He was no longer strong enough. He was a lost man with no purpose, and without that he wasn't a man at all. And as much as he needed her, as much as he knew his very life depended on her, she couldn't save him from himself. “Just go, Kagome.”

 

Her tiny hands clenched automatically. “What?”

 

“Just go,” he murmured as he swallowed the panic welling up inside him. He fought the need to grab her and beg her to stay, to tell him she loved him, to let him fall into her touch and forget where his road had come.

 

Her lips wavered. “But I....”

 

InuYasha shook his head once more as he stepped to the side to signal her to leave. “It doesn't matter. It won't change how I feel.”

 

She took a few steps toward the door before she stopped and faced him. “InuYasha, please don't give up, whatever it is you're facing, I'm here.”

 

“Don't you get it? I don't want you here!” He snarled, rounding on her with a tremor in his chest. “What can you possibly fix? There's nothing left for you to stay for!”

 

“There's you!” She shouted back.

 

He faltered, having never heard her yell before. He lowered his head before turning hard eyes upon her. “I have nothing to give you. This can't go anywhere beyond whatever the fuck we had, and it's not worth it. Don't you understand?”

 

Her lips trembled slightly as she lifted her chin. “I do. I know you're just trying to force me away, thinking it will be easier than letting me know the truth.”

 

“What truth?”

 

“That you're scared. You're hurting so bad and so lost inside yourself because you think you're not worth anything anymore. Well, that's just bull, because regardless of what you think, you matter!”

 

InuYasha hitched his teeth together and he struggled hard to contain his quaking heart. “You can't possibly know what I'm going through.”

 

Kagome slowly closed her eyes and breathed in deep. Opening them once more, she looked up at him with a gentle tide of something he so desperately wanted to drown in. “To have so much to come to this. You carry so much pain....”

 

His shoulders flinched as he started at her, as if from a dream. “What?”

 

“Why must you destroy what good you have left?”

 

His mouth just closed as he turned his eyes away. Taking a step back, he felt his fists ache in their tight hold. “I have to do this.”

 

“Why?”

 

Defeat echoed in his hollow voice. “Because there's only been one thing I've been good at. And you can't go down that road with me.”

 

“You don't have to either....”

 

His eyes strayed to the clock before he slowly looked back at her, his silence filled with unparalleled loss and resolution. “You have to go now.”

 

“InuYasha....”

 

“I'm sorry, Kagome.” He walked with stiff purpose to the door and opened it wide. He glared at nothing in particular out in the hallway. “I hope one day you'll understand why.”

 

He could feel the warmth radiating from her body as she stood beside him by the door, her breath hitching in her attempt to keep from crying. “I can't bring myself to walk away,” she whispered.

 

His jaw clenched hard at the broken pleading within her voice. He could almost feel the tears sliding down her cheeks. “I already have.” With that he closed the door, pushing her out in the process.

 

-

 

Kagome stared in disbelief at the door. What happened? How did it come to this? Her fingers lifted to touch the solid wood separating her from him. It felt warm against the cold of her chilled skin. She rested her forehead against the grain as tears slid unabated down her face. 'Don't give up,' her heart beat hard against her chest, but she wondered who it was talking to.

 

Looking up once more at the door through a haze of tears, she turned and walked to the stairs, feeling each step pull at the pieces of her soul. Once outside, she shut her eyes against the frosty wind, letting it sting the tears on her face. Its hard tone against her ears drowned out the city noise as she stepped out onto the sidewalk where she lifted her face to the endless night. 'Where do I go from here? I don't know what else I'm supposed to do! God, what am I supposed to do?'

 

A shrill cry from her phone had her searching her pockets in haste before pulling the pulsing device against her ear. She cleared her throat to rid the agony lodged within. “Hello?”

 

“Kagome?” Sango's panicked sobs filtered through the earpiece.

 

“Sango,” she frowned in worry, “what's wrong?”

 

“It's Kohaku, he came in here demanding to know about dad and what happened that night. He was acting insane! He ran out of here and I don't know where he is. I need you here.”

 

“Yes, of course, I'll be right there.” Swiping the tears away she rushed towards her car, unknowing of the man watching her from his landing. InuYasha stood gripping the railing as her car drove away before he let his head fall to his arms.

 

-+-

 

“Oh God, Kagome, I'm so glad you're here!” Sango rushed up to her and pulled her into the warehouse.

 

Kagome gaped at the state of the inside. The coffee table was overturned and broken glass littered the floor. “What happened?”

 

“I don't know!” Sango sobbed, her eyes surveying the room as if for the first time. “Miro and I were making supper when Kohaku came charging in here demanding to know what happened that night he disappeared. I tried to calm him down to listen but he flipped out, screaming to know why I didn't tell him. I tried to reason with him but he just took off. We tried to go after him but lost him. Miroku and Kouga are still looking but I came back to wait to see if he showed up.” She turned to her. “What if something happens to him? How could he have possibly found out?”

 

Kagome shook her head at a loss, her lips parting to say anything before a loud bang echoed from the door. Both girls spun to see their furious manager storm into the warehouse.

 

He glared menacingly at them. “Where is InuYasha?”

 

Kagome stammered before she spoke, the murderous expression on Sesshomaru's face causing her to feel chilled to the core. “I...I saw him at his apartment no more than twenty minutes ago.”

 

Sesshomaru shook his head. “He's gone, the foolish idiot!”

 

“Gone?” Kagome felt her cheeks go pale. “Where?”

 

He growled. “To get Kohaku.”

 

Sango stepped forward. “He knows what happened? Where he is? Where is he?”

 

Sesshomaru glanced at the girl with a touch of pity hovering over his anger. He sighed. “Naraku has him.”

 

“What!” Both women froze as if shot.

 

Kagome seemed the first to recover. “Why does he have him? Where are they? What does InuYasha have to do with all this?”

 

The tall man pinched the bridge of his nose as he said the unthinkable. “I don't know. The fool called me minutes ago to tell me just that. He said the boy will meet us here, and since I have no clue as to where to find the imbecile, I have to wait here for Kohaku to tell me where he is before he does something drastic.”

 

Kagome shook her head as her mind spun with too many questions. “Sesshomaru, please, tell us what's going on.”

 

He released a feral breath before speaking. “It's a long story, one best told from the beginning. There will be less interruption and fewer questions.”

 

They nodded as they waited.

 

Sesshomaru leaned against the counter and folded his arms as he began. “When Sango left for the police academy, Kohaku came often to stay with me while their father was working. Our families have had strong ties for many years, as Chihaya Hiroto was the detective who worked under our father in many of his government cases. One in particular draws everything that is transpiring today together. It involved an old associate of our father's, Onigumo Naraku.” He held up a hand as both women opened their mouths to speak. “I will explain.

 

“Onigumo was once a respected businessman who formed a partnership with our company, but it turned into a ruse when our father discovered he was embezzling money. Behind Onigumo's back, father took control of the entire company and eventually had Onigumo arrested. The man lost everything.” He shut his eyes. “Several years passed when father again began to notice a shift in the accounts. Minor adjustments here and there, but over the course of a year it showed a dramatic loss in revenue towards our associates. There was no tie to where it led since it was still in the company until it was discovered to link to a single account - father's account. Knowing he'd be facing charges, he vehemently tried to prove his innocence, and with Sango's father, opened up an investigation to discover the truth. It was Hiroto that found out there was an infiltrator in the company who was working underneath a new crime boss.”

 

“Naraku....” Kagome whispered.

 

Sesshomaru nodded. “The man had built quite an enterprise on illegal trade, but his main ambition, it seemed, was revenge. He was determined to see father disgraced and penniless. He had slowly leaked funds from underneath father's nose, and placed it in his own account. The money was still there, on paper, but not where it should be, and its trail led to disaster. With proof now on his side, father was ready to make the knowledge known, until he was found dead in his office.”

 

Kagome pressed her fingers to her lips. “He was murdered by Naraku?”

 

“Just the beginning of his revenge against our family.” Sesshomaru opened his eyes to peer over at her. “So you can obviously see that what is happening tonight has very little to do with Kohaku.”

 

“What do you mean?” Sango stepped forward.

 

He let out another sigh as he glared at the mess the boy left behind. “While you were at the Academy, a lackey of Naraku's became a sort of confidant for Kohaku. Naraku did not forget the role your father played in his downfall. So he used the boy to come after InuYasha.”

 

“How?” Sango whispered.

 

The man's eyes narrowed. “Manipulation of the heart's weakness can bring much power over oneself. Naraku knew InuYasha was traumatized by father's death and had become a delinquent, but not so far gone to be lost entirely to degradation. When it came to loyalty and self sacrifice, InuYasha was extreme to a fault. When I had managed to get the fool back off the streets he at least made an attempt to become a member of society, but by this time, Naraku had played his greatest pawn. Kohaku was too innocent to understand how deep he was in until it was too late, so he went to the only person who would understand and help. It was exactly as Naraku had planned, to ensnare the child to act as bait.”

 

“And for InuYasha to take his place.” Kagome felt weak kneed and stared blindly at the ground.

 

Sesshomaru nodded. “His self sacrifice was the very thing Naraku needed to fulfill his ultimate retribution. But what happened next would prove to be his undoing.”

 

Both girls turned to look up at him.

 

“While under my care, Kohaku discovered the evidence I had been collecting linking Naraku to our family downfall, and with that found the role he had played in InuYasha's entrapment. Determined to rectify his mistake, Kohaku planned to pay off Naraku by repaying his debt and thus releasing InuYasha's obligation. It was a brave ploy, but foolishly thought out. Had I been aware, I may have been able to stop what would result from his final action.”

 

Sango's face turned white as a sheet as realization set in.

 

“He returned to his house to pawn off your mother's possessions.” Sesshomaru continued. “Since she had left, Kohaku felt no affection for her things and felt it would be enough to make the money to bring to Naraku. With the help of Kagura Kane, Naraku's hireling who had befriended him, they set off to rob his own house.”

 

“Kagura!” Sango seethed, burning hatred filled her eyes. “So she betrayed him.”

 

He shook his head. “On the contrary, she had long defected from Naraku's influence and was eager to see him back behind bars. She had planned on planting a few items in his home to link him to the crime they were committing. It was just bad timing that you still happened to be there.”

 

Sango blinked. “I don't understand.”

 

“Kohaku had thought you were leaving that night to head back to the Academy, so when they had arrived at the house, your presence was very much a shock. Kagura had no knowledge of who you were and I am sure Kohaku was terrified to be caught. So when something such as a door being swung open, I'd imagine it would have easily startled him....”

 

A fat ear rolled down Sango's face. “And he would have accidentally triggered the gun.”

 

“That he had no intention of firing.”

 

Sango looked up at him with watery brown eyes. “How do you know this?”

 

Sesshomaru lowered his head to stare bitterly to the floor. “I was in my office the moment he called. I had then noticed the disarray of my files but could not fathom what he had told me. He was beyond hysterics but had enough sense to tell me where he was. By the time I had arrived I was too late. Both were shot in the head execution style. Kagura was dead, Kohaku almost so. I had him taken to a private hospital where they had managed to save his life, but when he recovered the extent of the damage was known. He had no memory.” He looked up at Sango. “To protect him and our families, I did what I had to. I planted the information that he was dead and then I brought him to you.” With that said he turned to Kagome.

 

“You knew? You knew the connection between Kohaku and Sango?” she stammered. “Why...?”

 

“Because had he been known to be alive, Naraku would have personally rectified it. He leaves no loose ends.” He looked over to Sango with an air of consolation. “He was protected there, nourished and raised as he should have been. My only regret is the pain you had to suffer because of it.”

 

Sango could only shake her head as she moved to the couch to sit down. “I can't...I can't deal with that right now. I just want to know how Naraku has him now.”

 

Sesshomaru grimaced slightly. “It would seem that the concert he played stirred more publicity than I had thought. There was a picture of the band in the paper. With Naraku's demand for detail, it should be no surprise that someone would have recognized him. And someone had - Kikyo.”

 

“Kikyo?” Sango brushed the tear tracks from her face.

 

“Yes. And from what had occurred tonight, it is obvious Naraku has a new strategy.”

 

“But I don't understand. He got what he wanted, InuYasha practically lives under his thumb. Why does he have Kohaku now?” Sango cried.

 

Sesshomaru gave her a dark stare. “You forget. There is another person whom Naraku has yet to destroy.”

 

Kagome gasped. “He's after you!”

 

He nodded. “Indeed. He caught the fly to catch the spider to catch the fish.”

 

“How does he expect to do this?”

 

Sesshomaru looked her over once. “You know him above all others, Kagome. Had he given any indication tonight of what he planned to do?”

 

Kagome opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. The conversation she and InuYasha had repeated in her mind, but now with an entirely different meaning. “He said he was back to where he started, that this is what he's meant to do, the only thing he's good at.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Does he know?”

 

“About our connection with Naraku?” Sesshomaru growled. “No, so when he had called to tell me Kikyo had discovered Kohaku and Naraku had him, I had barely time to reason with him before he told me to come here and hung up.”

 

Sango let out a dour laugh. “So now we wait, huh?”

 

Their manager crossed his arms. “So it would seem.”

 

“But what I don't understand is how he plans on getting to you,” Kagome said.

 

“I expect that's where Kohaku comes in. No doubt he will have the message that will bring me into Naraku's hands.”

 

Sango sniffed as she looked from Sesshomaru to Kagome and back. “Shouldn't we call the police?”

 

“And tell them what?” He asked with a shake of his head. “Until Kohaku arrives here they can give us no immediate help.”

 

“I can't just sit here.” The woman stood up quickly to head to her room. “I'm going to call Miro.”

 

Sesshomaru barely gave Kagome a glance as he slowly paced the room.

 

Kagome let out a small breath, the warehouse suddenly feeling stagnant and cramped. It could possibly be a long wait for Kohaku to arrive and she felt suffocated from the emotion welling up inside her. What could he have been thinking to do this alone? Had he listened to nothing she said? She bit down hard on her lower lip. Did her love mean nothing for him to at least tell her? She stepped out into the chilly night and peered up at the purple clouds. But that was just like him to a fault. It was his way of protecting her, it was always his way. From the very beginning she should have realized she could never change this aspect of him. When it came down to something to protect, he gave up a piece of himself to save it. But now who was to save him? 'Oh InuYasha, where are you?'

 

A small trill echoed at her waist and she fumbled to reach for her cell. “Hello?”

 

“Kagome?”

 

Her lips parted in shock. “Kohaku?”

 

“Kagome, I didn't know who else to call. Something terrible happened. I need you to come get me.”

 

She hesitated a moment, her eyes darting over to the warehouse before she jogged to her car. “Where are you?”

 

“The Seventh Hell.”

 

A/N: And another chapter done! Whew. And special thanks to my Beta, Jessie Angel for knocking out my apostrophes and flipping them into commas. Fantastic work on crossing my i's and dotting my t's.

 

Another special shout out to InuSoul for recommending Josh Groban. His songs really helped me get this chapter going.

 

And thank you to all those who have reviewed and most of all read this story so far. As most have feared, next chapter is the anticipated one. I hope you enjoy!

 

Live, love and laugh!

 

WDW